What If... Nebula joined the Nova Corps?

 "Seems a bit morally grey, with the guns and all."

You'll have to excuse me: I didn't know that What If? was about to drop now, at Christmastime, one episode per day, and I'm a few days late. I'm already blogging Better Call Saul, Twin Peaks and the 1943 Batman serial. I still am. Plus there's Doctor Who tomorrow. Aaaargh. I'll do my best, as this is a current show, to blog it as quickly as I can while not neglecting the others.

Anyway, I love this opening episode. Yes, there's a big central sci-fi idea, with more than a dollop of William Gibson and Blade Runner in the aesthetics of a dark, crime-ridden metropolis and the protagonist being a cyborg. Yet, to me, this feels very much like it's channelling Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe, except with Karren Gillan, outstanding as Nebula, as the principled agent of justice in a world where no one else can be trusted at all. It is this, the mood, the setting, perfect for Nebula as a character, that makes the episode so good.

The plot is clever, though, with the twists and turns somehow working brilliantly both as high concept science fiction if written by Raymond Chandler.

It's wonderful to see Seth Green's Howard the Duck too, obviously. And Taika Waititi's Korg is always a joy. I'm impressed, once again, that an animated series is able to recruit such a high calibre of actors. And it's interesting to get a focus on Xandar and the Nova Corps, very much cosmic side characters with the MCU... but, of course, Nova is coming.

Oh, and Merry Christmas:)

The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: Shoscombe Old Place

 "You're not the only one that likes a plunge on the horses from time to time, Doctor."

This is an interesting episode, based on the last ever Sherlock Holmes story ever written by Conan Doyle on the one hand (penned in 1927, three years before he died) on the one hand, and featuring a very young Jude Law on the other, long before his days of Hollywood stardom.

It's a decent story, faithfully and expertly told. Yet the episode fails to catch fire, in spite of the satisfying conclusion where we learn of the nature of Sir Robert's deception, his debts and the troublesome moneylender being but a massive red herring. Perhaps it's because it's a little too obvious that the lady in the carriage is keeping "her" face hidden and may not be Lady Beatrice, but this was always going to be difficult to hide in any translation of this story from print to screen. No: I think it's simply that the guest cast, while never committing any acting sins, simply lacks presence and charisma. We can't depend on young Jude for that; he's probably still in sixth form.

Jeremy Brett, it must be said, is as excellent here as ever, but he seems to look older, frailer and, may I say, podgier with every passing episode. If it was, indeed, the part of Holmes that was to kill him, the process of this happening may already be quite visible.

Captain Marvel (2019)

" If toast is cut diagonally, I can't eat it."

I should say fromthe start that I love this film, more so than most Marvel films and you can see (look at the Marvel Index) that I have a pretty damn high opinion of most of them. Partly, that's because the is a damn good blockbuster film of a science fiction nature. Partly it's the feminist message, even if it is a bit vague and "girl power" (how very '90s). Partly, though, it's because this film scratches my Marvel fan itch in a way few others have.

Let's take it as read that this works well as the first Marvel film with a female lead (rather late), and that Brie Larsen is xcellent. Let us enjoy the '90s setting, the awesome soundtrack, the impressive CGI that turns Samuel L. Jackson, with a pretty damn large part, into his '90s self with perfection. Oh, and let us briefy stop to note that, fo a Marvel zombie of my age, Captain Marvel is not Carol Danvers (Binary!), or Mar-Vell, and certainly not Billy Bloody Batson. It's Monica Rambeau. and, if you don't get that, read some '80s Avengers when Roger Stern was writing and Jim Shooter was the best boss Marvel ever had. Ah, nostalgia.

So let us, er, marvel at the tribute to Stan at the start, and then at the faithful recreation of both the Kree- we see Hala, Yon-Rogg (an excellent Jude Law), in a variation of the origin of Mar-Vell (female here, a nice touch), Dr Minerva (Gemma Chan of Humans), Captain Atlas, and of course Ronan the Accuser. But let us also enjoy the twist of the Skrulls (whose design is very Fantastic Four #2) being not only thgoodies but also just refugees, victims of the evil Kree, and not a galaxy-spanning empire.  Let us also marvel as the design of all things Kree, which is excitingly faithful to the comics.

This is right up there with the best Marvel films. Can we see Carol anvers agaon, please? And the Monica Rambeau of the present day?

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)

“You never met a monster you couldn’t love.”

Well, this is a very different beast to its nice little understated predecessor. No more do we get a nice little New York adventure with a small, likeable cast; no, this is a big, world-building epic more the style if the Harry Potter movies. Indeed, not only do we have a couple of scenes in Hogwarts (Jude Law’s youthful Dumbledore is already headmaster), we even get a younger Maggie Smith, presumably cut and pasted from The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. Mostly, though, we get the awesome spectacle of 1920s Paris, and lots of cool CGI monsters.

The big bad is Grindelwald, played by Johnny Depp... and I wish I could make head or tail of the claims and counter-claims between him and Amber Heard. Which one of them is the abuser? Which one of them is it ok to like? It’s weird seeing either of in films at the moment although J.K. Rowling is clearly very much on his side for insisting on casting him despite a great deal of criticism. Anyway, he’s rather good as a persuasive demagogue between the wars, a type of character which has certain associations. Interestingly, his rally near the end doesn’t make it clear that he’s a baddie. But we shall see.

Tina, Jacob and Queenie are back although, in a powerful scene, Queenie’s allegiance is changed, while Zoe Kravitz impresses with a powerful, tragic performance as Leta Lestrange. But the focus, and the mystery, is on Credence, clearly a powerful pure-blood ripped from his true family, and only at the end do we discover who he truly is. It’s a mystery used to splendid dramatic effect.

This is a fast-moving, eventful epic, and feels more like a chapter than a film in itself. All the same, I much prefer it to the Harry Potter films in similar style and am enjoying the world building in spite of not being any kind of Harry Potter fanboy. I’m greatly looking forward to the next one.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

“I’m on my honeymoon!!!!”

I’m not going to repeat the things I said about Guy Ritchie’s distinctive directorial style in my blog review for this film’s prequel. Nor am I going to point out that this is pretty much an action film version of Sherlock Holmes (though this film emphasises this less), or that Robert Downey Jr is ridiculously good here and undoubtedly the greatest leading man working in Hollywood today. Yes, he’s even a bit better than Johnny Depp. He’s that good.

This film is far more respectful of the source material than its predecessor. Although not exactly a version of The Final Problem, it borrows from it heavily, including the apparent deaths of Holmes and Moriarty at the Reichenbach Falls, although of course we’re not expected to believe that Holmes actually died. Are you listening, Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss? If that wasn’t enough, Stephen Fry gives us a version of Mycroft which is both extremely entertaining and extremely faithful to the source material.

Moriarty’s dastardly scheme is delightfully nefarious, if a little dependent on the writers’ knowledge that the First World War would break out twenty three years after the end of the film. Moriarty’s plans to make a gun running fortune from a massive war gives us a good excuse for lots of big budget hijinks as Holmes and Watson speed through France, Germany and, of course, Switzerland.

The bromance between Holmes and Watson is handled rather hilariously, with best man Holmes not being best pleased about Watson’s upcoming marriage. This nice little character point gives Downey a chance to show what a great actor he is, and gives Jude Law a chance to show what, in my opinion, a great actor he isn’t. Jared Harris is a surprisingly middling Moriarty, and one surprisingly faithful to what little references there were to the character in the regional stories. In fact, this faithfulness is taken a little too far: is there really any need to include Colonel Sebastian Moran? Incidentally, doesn’t Moran sound a bit common for a colonel in the Victorian army?

Still, this is enormous fun to watch, if slightly long, and I have to admit it was excellent. In fact, I would admit this film to that elite club of sequels that are better than their originals.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

“No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man’s dead or not.”

Before you buy this DVD on film, you might want to consider that it forces you to watch an advert for Blu-Ray lasting several minutes before you get to the menu. This is unacceptable, frankly, and if, unlike me, you don’t prefer your films with subtitles, you’d be much better off recording it off the telly.

Not that my first film to be reviewed in 2012 is particularly great, although Robert Downey Jr’s superlative central performance and Guy Ritchie’s brilliantly executed set pieces make it well worth seeing anyway. It’s a nice idea- Sherlock Holmes as action film- which actually works quite well. Downey’s Holmes is decidedly bohemian, physical, fast-moving and decidedly not asexual, and while this is arguably a departure from “canon”, it’s no more so than many more boring interpretations. And this treatment of the Sherlockian world may not be as good, quality-wise, as Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ superlative Sherlock, it’s no less legitimate an interpretation.

There’s a touch of plywood to Jude Law’s performance, but Downey really shows what a first class actor he is, arguably the single best leading man in contemporary English-speaking cinema. His rakish charisma is reason alone to make this film worth watching, and he’s superb at physical comedy. His facial acting is first class, and it’s very noticeable that he spends the whole film speaking in an accent not his own (flawlessly, I might add, and I’m British) without forgetting to act as well, something which is all too common. His Holmes is as suited to the big screen as Benedict Cumberbatch’s is to television.

Mr Madonna is also a dab hand behind the camera, giving us enough adrenalin-fuelled action sequences to be worthy of a Michael Bay film, although the style is noticeably the same as Lock, Stock and Snatch, despite the period setting. Victorian London looks great, though, if a bit CGI-ey. Except… there’s a certain lack of substance to the storyline, although there’s certainly enough bangs and excitement to carry us through. This Watson, far from being a bumbler, is full of back-chat; I like that. But the characterisation of Holmes suffers from a slight problem. Actually it makes a lot of sense for him to be an action hero, but the deductive skills fall flat, often relying more on obscure chemistry factoids than the sort of deductive leaps that you really expect.

The plot is a rather odd mish-mash of tropes and explosions, taking us from an attempted virgin sacrifice by cowled figures (a nice familiar trope, that!) to alchemy and a vast conspiracy theories involving thinly veiled Freemasons which seem to come straight out of Alan Moore’s From Hell (if you haven’t already done so, read it!). Lord Blackwood seems to be based on the real life Francis Dashwood, leader of the Hellfire Club during the Eighteenth Century. His plan, bizarrely, involves conquering the United States, one of Britain’s main trading partners at the time, which would be a particularly stupid thing to do as it would entirely bugger up the British economy, and the whole point of the British Empire was to make money. Sorry, my bad: I probably shouldn’t be looking too hard at the plot.

Oh, and the scene where Dashwood is hanged is quite visceral and shocking. I don’t object to the violence per se, but people were still being barbarically killed like this well within living memory, and may presumably have living relatives.

There’s a fair bit of what we Doctor Who fans call fanwank here. The inclusion of Irene Adler (the rather good Rachel McAdams) is surprisingly justified here, though, establishing the non-asexuality of Downey’s Holmes, and I suppose Moriarty is in the film to do a bit of sequel-hunting. It tends to work out. If I might nitpick, though, Tower Bridge is still under construction, which would place this film in 1892. This is rather at odds with the Conan Doyle canon, as Holmes is supposed to have fallen down the Reichenbach Falls in 1891 and disappeared for three years. Not, of course, that this kind of obscure wankery is any excuse not to use a good idea for a set-piece.

So this is a rather good action film, although nothing special, but it’s worth watching for Downey’s performance alone.