Venom (2018)

 "Eyes! Lungs! Pancreas! So many snacks, so little time!"

I thought, given that current stuff that must be blogged is interrupting my consumption of the former Netflix Marvel seasons- damn you, Stranger Things, Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Boys- I'd best start to attack the current backlog of Marvel films. So it starts here.

This is one of those films that starts off as though it's going to be rubbish. I don't like the texture, the coliuring, the cinematography, surprising from the director of Zombieland... but the script and acting win through. 

This film doesn't pretend to be clever. But, after getting obver the music video direction, it becomes apparent that the script is decent, if not exceptional, and that both Tom Hardy and Riz Ahmed (as Elon Musk, in every detail) are very good indeed.

It's odd in a Venom film not to see Spider-Man- Sony own him for cinematic purposes at present; is this film part of the MCU? We see Stan the Man, I suppose. But it's interesting that a film based on Venom and Eddie Brock can succeed without reference to Spidey- although, of course, we get a subtle appearance from John Jameson.

Tom Hardy and Michelle are both impressive in the vrewlationship that anchors the film. Hardy impresses as the Symbiote. The story beats are good, despite the lack of Spidey and directorial shortcomins., and I look forward to more Sony Marvel stuff.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

 "The Beast? Wait, there's a beast?"

 This was, until tonight, the only Star Wars film I hadn’t seen. And it was very far from being a disappointing  postscript.

This is the second of two films in what must surely be an abandoned attempt to produce a series of films outside the narrative. And it's a shame. No, Alden Ahrenreich doesn't remotely convince as Han Solo. But this is nevertheless a magnificent sci-fi heist film, Woody Harrelson is brilliant, Emilia Clarke is nuanced and alluring, and Paul Bettany (he who has recently so impressed in WandaVision) makes a splendid crimelord.

Ron Howard may, on occasion, give us a little much in the way of a subdued colour palette. But he gives us a solid action film which may well have no illusions of intellectualism, but does the job well. Han's origin is given to us satisfyingly, with Chewbacca's introduction being particularly clever. There's a real sense here, too, of a criminal underworld being semi-tolerated by the Empire. The nods to what is to come are, perhaps, a little too indulgent, but surely we can forgive that.

What leaves a big impression, though, is Phoebe Waller-Bridge's performance as L-37, the sadly doomed droid liberation activist. The character hits a nerve- are all the fleshy characters in the Star Wars universe, rebels included, bastards who evilly enslave sentient AO's? Free the droids!

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

“Anyone see a southern gentleman carrying a building?”

We have Disney Plus now, so it’s time to go back and fill those few remaining gaps. The oldest film I haven’t blogged (but have seen) is Captain America: Civil War, but I’ll get to that soon. This is another Marvel triumph, if anything better than its predecessor, and the perfect blend of comedy, heist antics and superheroics. Paul Rudd is again superb, with excellent comic timing, and the whole plot fits together like the perfect farce. This is the comedy corner of the MCU, and it’s a fun place to be. 

There’s also plenty to satisfy my inner geek. Scott’s antics with “Cap” have had severe consequences. The first post-credits scene links things very firmly with the events in the more serious films. And we have a new female version of Ghost- whose father is Egghead, a nice touch. We also meet Bill Foster- played superbly, as ever, by Laurence Fishburne. Let’s hope he’ll be Goliath once more the next time we see him. Michelle Pfeiffer may be very much at odds with the Janet Van Dyne from the comics, but she’s good. It’s good to see her and Hank Pym get their happy ending- sort of.

This film mixes stapstick humour, wit, superhero action, car chases and quantum trippiness to give us a concoction that may not aspire any higher than to be a fun little blockbuster, but it does that very well. Any film with a building that can be wheeled along like a briefcase has to be cool.

Mary Poppins Returns (2018)

“This family is clearly in desperate need of a nanny."

I'm almost glad the winds and the rain were so angry and threatening today: Mrs Llamastrangler, Little Miss Llamastrangler and I don't often all watch films together but we watched this today. And it was wonderful.

The casting is spot-on, and not only the nice little cameo for nonagenarian Dick Van Dyke at the end, complete with tap dancing. Emily Blunt is absolutely superb as Mary Poppins. She approaches the part in exactly the right way- echoing Julie Andrews without being a slavish copy, giving what is very much her own performance which is nothing short of a triumph- charismatic, assured, compulsively watchable. Lin-Manuel Miranda is only passable as Bert's replacement Jack, with a mostly ok Cockney accent in flagrant disregard of tradition. And one of the children is, of course, the precociously talented Pixie Davies from Humans.

It's the '30s now, and Michael and Jane have grown up. But Michael is now widowed with three kings, which makes him tense and vulnerable as well as providing a good excuse for Jane to be living with them. But there's trouble afoot as plot necessity demands that the family home be threatened with repossession unless a miracle is to somehow happen. This plot looks awfully similar to that of Nanny McPhee but, of course, it would be the mother of all pot/kettle situations to accuse a Mary Poppins film of ripping off that particular, er, homage. It's especially amusing to see Colin Firth as the baddie here.

The film is splendidly entertaining throughout, with the fantasy sequences being splendidly child-friendly and visually exciting. The songs, if nowhere near as memorable as those of the original, are good. For such a belated sequel this is really very good indeed.

Outlaw King (2018)

“I’m done with running and I’m sick of hiding!”

Time for a good, proper historical epic, I thought; it’s been a bit of a while. And what better, I thought, than this recent Netflix offering? Well, I’m certainly glad I watched this spiritual follow-up to Braveheart that deserves to be known for far more than its famous sex scenes.

As a historical epic the film works well- complex events over many years are successfully collapsed into a suitably dramatic narrative. The film looks convincingly like mediaeval Scotland as it would have been, with no tartan in sight. And Chris Pine is a charismatic and convincingly Scottish star. We get a suitably moustache twirling Edward I and a surprisingly a rather large role for the future Edward II, wisely not dwelling on his sexual orientation.

This is a superb subject for a film and it’s surprising it hasn’t been filmed more often- the extreme reversal of fortune shown by Robert the Bruce is intrinsically very dramatic indeed. The slow courtship between Robert and the devoted but fierce Elizabeth is wonderful and rings true, although the sex scene when they finally do it is startlingly realistic. You are certainly left in no doubt of the moment where he climaxes. Whether it was equally satisfying for her is, it seems, lost to history.

There are some moments that make one raise an eyebrow- would Edward I really have had access to the jealously guarded secret that was “Greek Fire”? It’s also strictly inaccurate to have the English royals and nobility speaking English, unlike the Anglophone Scottish nobles, but I think we can overlook that. What we have here is a truly impressive version of events which really, really needed to be made into a film. Highly recommended.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)

“You never met a monster you couldn’t love.”

Well, this is a very different beast to its nice little understated predecessor. No more do we get a nice little New York adventure with a small, likeable cast; no, this is a big, world-building epic more the style if the Harry Potter movies. Indeed, not only do we have a couple of scenes in Hogwarts (Jude Law’s youthful Dumbledore is already headmaster), we even get a younger Maggie Smith, presumably cut and pasted from The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. Mostly, though, we get the awesome spectacle of 1920s Paris, and lots of cool CGI monsters.

The big bad is Grindelwald, played by Johnny Depp... and I wish I could make head or tail of the claims and counter-claims between him and Amber Heard. Which one of them is the abuser? Which one of them is it ok to like? It’s weird seeing either of in films at the moment although J.K. Rowling is clearly very much on his side for insisting on casting him despite a great deal of criticism. Anyway, he’s rather good as a persuasive demagogue between the wars, a type of character which has certain associations. Interestingly, his rally near the end doesn’t make it clear that he’s a baddie. But we shall see.

Tina, Jacob and Queenie are back although, in a powerful scene, Queenie’s allegiance is changed, while Zoe Kravitz impresses with a powerful, tragic performance as Leta Lestrange. But the focus, and the mystery, is on Credence, clearly a powerful pure-blood ripped from his true family, and only at the end do we discover who he truly is. It’s a mystery used to splendid dramatic effect.

This is a fast-moving, eventful epic, and feels more like a chapter than a film in itself. All the same, I much prefer it to the Harry Potter films in similar style and am enjoying the world building in spite of not being any kind of Harry Potter fanboy. I’m greatly looking forward to the next one.

A Star Is Born (2018)

"Will you sign my boobs?"

Oh my. It's romantic comedy starring Lady Gaga and Rocket raccoon. And it's actually rather good.

Before I say much... yes, I know I have a policy of not blogging remakes before originals, but this isn't a genre I follow more than casually, so I'll make an exception here. I may eventually blog the 1937 original, I may not; I have no idea. The musicals are unlikely but, again, who knows. Suffice to say I'm aware this is a remake, and previous versions have focused on movie stardom rather than music aside from the one with Kris Kristofferson, whose acting I like but whose music I cannot stand.

Suffice to say, it works. Cooper- I understand the whole thing is his vision- is extraordinary, jarring though it is to see a man but two years older than me playing a man in personal and career decline; and lady Gaga can really, really act- and she can sing, of course, and is a rather talented individual who could achieve remarkable things if only she gets the courage to utterly disown the evil, satanic world of chart pop.

I like that this is a romance between real soulmates united by a mutual love of the songwriting process- the downtrodden dreamer Ally and Jack, the kind of country music megastar who feels perfectly comfortable surrounded by drag artists in a gay bar. Our lovers have real chemistry and their relationship seems to evolve naturally. And I like the way the world of chart pop is shown to be as evil as it is, ruining artists with autotuned stupidity and trying to control their image.Rez, as our Simon Cowell-esque evil, uncultured svengali, is the villain of the piece, going sadly uncultured. And Jack's final suicide is at once tastefully shot and utterly devastating.  A rather good film.

Slender Man (2018)

"Once you see him, you can't unsee him."

This is certainly a contender for one of the worst films I've ever blogged. It's shockingly poor.

Slender Man is one of those computer game characters that the kids find utterly terrifying in spite of the character being but a decade or so old and whom I, at 42, am far too old to know anything about. The concept and appearance of the character seems quite terrifying, however, and you'd think it would make a good basis for a horror film, although perhaps not best released so soon after the well-known murder by two American schoolgirls of their classmate supposedly inspired by the character.

This is, to put it far too mildly, not that film. It's not just that the film is boring and talky, that we never get to know about the characters, or that the plot is simplistic and drawn out. No; the direction is so poor, even if you forgive the overly dark lighting in which you can't bloody see anything, that it fails to clearly tell the story and it's far from clear what's going on. Even if this were not the case, though, the film is shockingly dull, Mrs Llamastrangler fell asleep. Even the CGI sequences where Slender Man actually bloody appears are not worth waiting for. Avoid.

Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)

"Why do you think Twitter and Facebook are free?"

Yes, I know; I use the above two social media platforms to plug this very blog. The irony is not lost on me although, unlike AJ, I don't subscribe to conspiracy theories; Facebook and Twitter are free because your personal info is the product, and advertisers are the customer, not you. All conspiracy theories are dangerous bollocks that leads to the election of dodgy demagogue. Vaccinate your kids. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. There is no Illuminati. The real world cannot be boiled down to such simplistic fantasies.

Anyway, this isn't a sequel in any meaningful sense. It doesn't feature any of the same characters and is made by different people. What it is, though, is another very clever example of the rather fresh and welcome new horror genre initiated by the first film, where all we see is one person's screen as something supernatural or weird unfolds and everybody dies. It's a fresh and, indeed, superior take on the found footage genre as the possibilities are much wider.

In this case the added ingredient is the current fashion for dark web boxes, more conspiracy theorist bollocks but great material for films like this. The conceit of Matias, through whose screen we see everything, having stolen the laptop through we see everything from a criminal network named after Greek underworld mythology which kidnaps and tortures young women while manipulating others into taking the blame, is deliciously evil and utterly gripping.

It's also good to see, for once, a serious attempt at a deaf character. It's well-written and structured and the characters are compelling. This is a superb and underrated film, and I for one prefer it to its predecessor.

The Incredibles 2 (2018)

"I renounce my renunciation!"

 I watched this film over the weekend with Mrs Llamastrangler and Little Miss Llamastrangler, who is now rather obsessed with Elastigirl. This is, of course, a rather fun little film which has similar fun with superhero tropes as the last movie. It’s a splendid film, this time focusing on Elastigirl leading the heroics while Mr Incredible struggles with handling the domestics at home.

So, yes, one point for trying to be feminist and minus one for continuing the trope of men being hapless in the domestic sphere. Still, it’s funny, witty and charming and had us all entertained. The plot, revolving around the villainous and Saw-like (in a kid-friendly way) Screenslaver, and the tantalising prospect of superheroics being legal again, is also fun, even if the real baddie’s identity is rather obvious if you happen to be 41 rather than four.

Oh, and Jack-Jack now has an astounding number of powers. Good luck with raising that child, although the scenes of Bob trying to control the little sod are rather amusing. You finish the film rather satisfied by an entertaining and well-constructed piece of entertainment. Maybe one day we will have a real Fantastic Four movie that’s this good.

Is it me, though, or does tycoon superhero fan Winston look just like Lee Mack?

Ready Player One (2018)

”Ninjas don't hug!"

 Well, that was certainly superb. Who'd have thought it; a film from Steven Spielberg with no didactic music, no real stars and a very fresh feel. This film is hugely entertaining and so very 2018.

Superficially, perhaps, you could say this film is a bit like Tron, being set mainly in cyberspace with a corporate baddie. But, in truth, the film goes so much deeper, and has so much more to say, than the cool visuals and the myriad, admittedly awesome, pop culture references. And that isn't just about today's gamer, streaming and Twitch culture (Mrs Llamastrangler knows much more about all this than I do) in spite of the many obvious references.

It's 2045, and what we see of the world (well, Ohio) is grim and poverty-stricken aside from a few corporate bigwigs. People live in "stacks", trailer parks stacked on top of each other, and escape their lives through ubiquitous VR and, in particular, through the Oasis, a VR oasis invented by the late James Halliday and his mate, played by the superb Mark Rylance along with the ever-splendid Simon Pegg, both bizarrely with American accents. Through this world we follow Wade, love interest Art3mis and the slightly undeveloped rest of the gang as they try to complete the online quest left by Halliday to gain control of his empire.

Put like that it seems almost pedestrian, a kind of cross between Tron and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but it’s so much more than that. The commentary on escapism into an online world, a kind of VR Second Life where capitalism continues to operate as avatars depend on “coin” for how they look and what they can do, is acutely clever. So is the hint that not only has pop culture become, well, culture, but that the immediate access to cheap music and films will mean the pop culture of the late twentieth century will remain relevant and new pop culture will fail to be supported. There’s IOI with its “loyalty centres”, or debtor’s prisons, a serious potential future problem if debt laws are not reformed. There’s a reminder that reality is what actually matters and that being online is but an extension of this. There’s s love story. There’s the Holy Hand Grenade. There’s MechaGodzilla. This is easily the best new film I’ve seen for a long time.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

“I pity your wife if you think six minutes is a long time."

I like Queen. Unlike Mrs Llamastrangler I wouldn't say they're my favourite band or anything- I like this kind of polished, musicianlike rock and Freddie Mercury's voice is amazing, but punk needed to happen and I prefer the less technical likes of Chris Cornell (RIP) and Mark Lanegan to the late Mr Bulsara. Still, they were of course awesome, and a biopic is clearly overdue.

It’s a very straight biopic, with Gwilym Lee in particular doing a superb Brian May impression, but the plaudits have to  belong to Rami Malek, who simply becomes Freddie Mercury in an extraordinary performance. But the film takes us from the beginnings of the band to Live Aid gradually, missing out what has to be missed out for time reasons but showing us an awful lot. The focus is on Freddie, of course, from the racism he experienced in his youth to his relationship with his Parsee Zoroastrian family to the decadence to a dramatically impactful AIDS diagnosis just before Live Aid, using artistic licence to ignore the fact he wasn’t actually diagnosed until 1987, but rightly so. Other highlights include Mike Myers as the man who lost Queen, and the ambiguous relationship between Freddie and Mary which is played for pathos here.

The film has been criticised, not without justice, for portraying Freddie’s gay lifestyle as a decadent distraction, and it’s certaibly odd to see the excess and partying as something quite divorced from rock ‘n’ roll. But perhaps we should be careful to necessarily equate promiscuity and the leather subculture of the time with being gay. It’s still a hard criticism to answer, though.

This film isn’t particularly deep or meaningful; it’s a straightforward rock biopic, with the facts reshaped for medidramatic effect and for an emotional finish, but it’s very well done and the sort of rock biopic that needs to exist. I rather enjoyed it.

The Happytime Murders (2018)

“I never knocked a guy out with his own balls before..."

Well then. I doubt, somehow, that that puppet sex scene will ever be topped. Team America has nothing on this. It's not all about puppet spunk going everywhere, though; this film is a work of bloody genius and you'd have to be proper po-faced not to enjoy it.

The concept is, of course, quite mad; in an LA where puppets exist as second class citizens, the cast of an '80 puppet television show are being murdered one by one. Meanwhile a puppet PI who is basically Philip Marlowe made of felt and voiced (literally) by the Swedish Chef, complete with first person narration, deals with the fallout from, er, falling out with his delightfully foul-mouthed former police partner Connie Edwards, the splendid Melissa McCartney.

It's even better than that, though; the script is hilarious, putting these Sesame Street style puppets in a world with lots of sex, swearing and, er, sugar. There's a rather decent whodunit going on but, even better than that, the firm is full of filthy dialogue. Delightfully filthy dialogue. And the not-particularly-famous cast plays it all perfectly.

If I were to pick holes, perhaps the ending is a little neat- yes, the baddie is defeated but it's not entirely clear how Phil comes to be exonerated. But I think it would be churlish to dwell on that too much; this film is hilarious, and didn't deserve to flop the way it did. Here's hoping for a deservedly long and glorious afterlife as a cult hit.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

“There’s an Ant-Man and a Spider-Man?”

At last I can stop dodging spoilers. I’ve seen it, at last. And it was bloody good. SPOILERS, mind.

Big, epic films are usually rubbish. Going epic tends to mean you can’t avoid being a bit po-faced and pretentious. This avoids that triumphantly by peppering the film with both humour and poignant character moments- so Thor gets to open up to, er, Rocket Raccoon about all the people he’s lost recently and, hilariously, Tony Stark and Doctor Strange spend the entire film in a willy waving contest while Bruce Banner spends the whole film dealing with what Mrs Llamastrangler described as “symbolic erectile dysfunction”. Peter Quill and Thor are also hilarious together.

The whole thing is structured, shot and acted superbly by the usual suspects, and it’s extraordinary how so many characters can be given meaty stuff to do in a little under two hours, although perhaps Captain America could have had some more screen time. I notice, of course, that Hawkeye and Ant-Man are described as inactive in dialogue. Of the few new faces, Joan Brolin is superb as a faithfully rendered Thanos while Peter Dinklage also turns in a good performance and, indeed, accent, as a dwarf who forged great weapons out of stars- I like how the film is very cosmic but how it all has a fantasy flavour, cut from the same cloth as Asgard. The film is superb, and the only reason some other Marvel films probably better is because they don’t have so many narrative jobs to do.

But the deaths, ah, the deaths! I somehow suspect that the half of the universe who died at the end won’t stay dead but, alas, I fear that may not be true for Loki, Gamora or the Vision...

Black Panther (2018)

“It's hard for a good man to be king."

This is a hard film to review objectively. It's clearly a significant cultural artifact, far more so than a normal MCU film, and has connected with the African diaspora worldwide for its Afro-Futurism, a big part of a cultural movement that includes works such as Janelle Monae's ArchAndroid, and which constitutes a positive look at the potential of African achievement in spite of a background of colonialism and the Atlantic slave trade.

The central conceit of the character of T'Challa has been, of course, for 52 years, that he's the king of a fictional African nation- Wakanda- that secretly defies all African stereotypes to be the most technologically and socially advanced nation on Earth. It's an African paradise, yet the cause of a central debate between the traditional view of the late T'Chaka- Wakanda is for the Wakandans, not for all Africa or the world, and it must be protected; and the view-,expounded with militancy by Erik Killmonger, that Wakanda must share its bounty with the world. This is an interesting central dilemma, but one fundamentally divorced from real world concerns. And, while it's good to see a positive portrayal of Africa and Africans, it's also a little disturbing to see Wakanda presented as a mish-mash of various West African, East African and South African cultures, not all of them Bantu, as though they were the same- and they are not; sub-Saharan Africa is huge and impossibly diverse. I'm not sure that the message that African cultures are pretty much the same is fundamentally a positive one, whatever the merits of the film's upbeat message. Is it only white and Asian people who are allowed to have distinctly different ethnic identities?

Still, the film works as entertainment in the traditional Marvel mould, and Chadwick Boseman's lack of charisma is well compensated for by an awesome and largely female cast. Ryan Coogler has made a film that looks superb in every way, with nothing in the visuals that I can fault. But, much though I enjoyed the film, with its black female Q, its James Bond pastiche antics and the big final battle with war rhinos(!), the film is merely good, not great.

Fantastic Stan Lee cameo, mind, though obviously bittersweet...

Fifty Shades Freed (2018)

"So why do you defy me?"

"Because I can!"

 This is only the second film I've seen that was made in 2018. Right now it seems very possible that it may ultimately end up being the worst. It's that bad. In fact, Mrs Llamastrangler has just described it to me as being akin to "a disappointing fart. I concur.

So what is so deeply disappointing about this, the third in a series of films that, it's now clear, are all pants? Well, many of the same things. Let’s face the horrors, shall we?

Christian and Ana get married in a posh ceremony and then they do that bizarre and rather rude thing where they leave the ceremony that everyone had made such an effort to attend to drive off, cold sober, to a honeymoon by montage in Paris and the French Riviera. We get a few scenes reminding us what a control freak Christian is, presumably meant at least partly to humanise him, but in fact just making him look like a controlling twat. Some arson at home by nasty old Jack draws them both home early where married life begins properly.

Christian has an extraordinarily childish reaction to the inevitable conversation about kids but, well, why on Earth did they not have this conversation before trying the knot like all sensible people do? And, frankly, I don’t care about Christian’s poorly defined mother issues- he’s a billionaire. Why is parenthood an issue where money isn’t? Then there’s that ridiculous throwing of his toys out of the pram because Ana prefers to use her maiden name professionally, as that’s how she’s already known, which seems rather sensible. He seems to think he’s entitled to expect his wife to take his surname, which is frankly a load of misogynist bollocks. Yes, Mrs Llamastrangler ended up taking my surname, but it was entirely her decision and I made it very clear that I didn’t feel entitled to any such thing and, frankly, in her position wouldn’t have done the same. For a bloke to simply expect it to happen is a bit of a warning sign.

But then he does the other thing that emotionally abusive partners do, and buys her stuff, namely a new home to her tastes. It’s good to see Ana asserting herself against the flirtatious architect, but she’s very much living a life circumscribed by Christian, with him even controlling what she hears about the danger to her from Jack. There are disturbing hints of gaslighting here, and when she deviates from his plan to guarantee her safety by- heaven forbid- having a few drinks with her best friend. This leads to a bit of a kerfuffle with Jack and, more disturbingly, with Christian having another massive sulk because Ana has the temerity to show a little bit of independence. And so what could have been a rather erotic little kinky scene of him teasing and denying her just turns outvtonbevhom throwing a strop like a complete and utter child. But then none of the sexy scenes are sexy, and none of the kink is allowed to be just kink.

Incidentally, one of the many things that ruins this awful film is the constant use of unlistenable, badly produced, horrible chart pop which, with all its autotuned awfulness,  actively subtracts atmosphere and sexiness from every scene. The only decent bit of music in the whole film is Grey playing Macca’s “Maybe I’m Amazed”, which isn’t saying much.

Anyway, Christian’s reaction when Ana tells him she’s pregnant is utterly pathetic, and the perfect reason to leave him. He reacts like a proper child, sulks and confides in Mrs Robinson; no wonder Ana is disgusted. Yes, it’s wrong to spring a pregnancy on a man without his consent, but accidents are accidents, and any woman has an absolute choice on whether to keep her baby; making her get rid if it is just as immoral as being one of those anti-abortion zealots. And none of this matters much, anyway, if money isn’t an issue- why not just have the child? Bringing up kids is fun.

So we end up with a bit of climatic action between Ana and nasty old Hack, and she ends up still trapped in what she sees as a healthy relationship with Christian, and thinking the fact he’s into BDSM (she isn’t, not really, so it’s disturbing that he’s foisting it on her, and controlling how she perceives it) means he can get away with controlling her without her informed consent. She ends the trilogy still trapped in a relationship with this controlling man-child, and that is truly tragic. Poor Ana. But far more tragic is the thought that this film may give many people the idea that BDSM makes this kind of behaviour ok.

Deadpool 2 (2018)

“It's a little hard to hear you with that pity dick in your mouth."

 I admit it; this sequel isn't quite as good as its predecessor. But who cares, frankly? It's awesome; witty, funny, and full of glorious violence, not least the violence done to the fourth wall. It may, shockingly, be the only film I've seen so far from this year, but I'm sure it would be a strong contender for most enjoyable film of the year in any case.

It's an action film that mocks loads of the tropes, as we'd expect, taking delight in action sequences with fancy action film camerawork and syncing them to unexpected soundtracks, and gloriously undercutting Deadpool's super-team (X-Force- ah, those halcyon Rob Liefeld days) by having almost the entire team die hilariously after a parachute jump, including Shatterstar (ha!) and the briefest ever cameo from Brad Pitt. Once again we have Colossus as the goody two shoes, once again we have (brief cameo aside) a mysterious scarcity of X-Men, and some tough but fair metatextual commentary from Wade Wilson himself ("You're so dark! Are you sure you're not from the DC Universe?"). All this plus Domino, who's rather cool. Josh Brolin may be just a little miscast as Cable, but you can't have everything. The Bond-style titles alone excuse a multitude of sins.

Of course, even better than that is the timey-wimey stuff at the end and what happens about Green Lantern and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Just bloody watch it. Unless, like me, you haven't seen Logan; spoilers abound.