Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

 "Because I'm Marvel Jesus. Or Spock. Hard to say..."

I knew this was going to be enormous fun, and oooooh, it was. Both the stars are superb, and sooooo many cameos, many of them hidden behind Deadpool masks. I'm not going to talk about the plot because irt's bonkers: I mean (SPOILER ALERT) Deadpool and Wolverine, having saved Deadpool's universe for good, get to survive certain death by anti-matter because, er, they were holding hands to Madonna. That's the kind of cheerfully deliberate middle finger at plot logic we're looking at here. I mean, did you expect anything different?

So we have a rogue element of the TVA trying to recruit Wade to the MCU, while saying a fond farewell to the old Fox mutany universe- I loved that bit in the closing credits. The Big Bad (Emma Corfrin is great) Is Professor X's evil sister, and her goons are the likes of Pyro, Toad and Juggernaut. There's a hilarious appearance by Chris Evans, surely Captain America until he cries "flame on!" and an equally hilarious version of Gambit with Channing Tatum, pulling no punches at how ridiculous the character is.

And ahh, all those Deadpools. Love the unfortunate death of Nicepool, and yes... I did indeed notice the "Welshpool" visual joke.

Naturally we get hard-hitting, fourth wall breaking comments on the MCU, that Deadpool is not coming to the MCU at a good time, and his criticism of the Multiverse Saga. But there's far more than that. The 20th Century Fox logo is there in the void. Wesley Snipes' Blade gets to insist that "There's only ever been one Blade, and there's only ever gonna be one Blade", a delightful little comment on behind-the-scenes discord. Oh, and "Paul Rudd finally aged".

This film is, basically, not about the plot at all. It's just there to be hugely entertaining, and to throw cameos and in-jokes at us... and it works! I love the various alt Wolverines, from the comic book accurate short king to Patch to the Siege Perilous era crucified Wolverine. I love the Henry Cavill cameo and the little rib at DC. And of course Colossus loves The Great British Bake Off.

Basically, best Marvel film ever. And now I'm going to check out all the many Easter eggs I no doubt missed...

Blade: Trinity (2004)

 "Sooner or later, the thirst always wins."

So Blade is back. And now it's 2004, well into the era of Marvel superhero films that Blade pioneered. So what do we get for my most recent unwatched Marvel film?

But well, this is a very flawed film, if not an awful one. It tells us two things. Firstly, Wesley Snipes, while an effective '90s action film actor, is... well, washed up by this point. There's something very off about his performance.

Yet this is, perhaps, partly due to the lacklustre performances of everyone in this film. Kris Kristofferson is oddly wooden, too. Even Ryan Reynolds isn't firing on all cylinders. And, if the stars are beneath their usual standard, we must blame the director.

Interestingly, though, the script- by David S. Goyer- is perfectly good. It's just that it's badly directed- also by David S. Goyer. The man can write, as we've seen countless times. He just can't direct. He really can't. This is all very music video, something very popular at the time. Proper cinema it is not, despite the many well-conceived fight scenes.

And that's interesting, isn't it? The script is perfectly good. The concept is epic, Blade versus Dracula (whose Sumerian origin here is weird, like Vlad Dracul never existed), with a rather fun Hannibal King, Jessica Biel as a somewhat cool kind of female Hawkeye, and lots of well-written fight scenes thsat sort of fail in the execution and- especially- the cinematography. A good script, sadly, doth not equal a good film.

Free Guy (2021)

 "IP's and sequels. That is what people want."

See the quote, in which the film's villain summarises Holluwood This is a deceptively clever film. It's full of CGI,which works in the context. It's certainly very funny. Yet behind the well-executesd humour in this deceptively extraordinary film, a philosophical treatise hiding behind a blockbuster, is a bloody bit of brilliance.

Guy- a clever name for an NP-is a piece if sentient code devised by Keys and Millie. Yet he is also a genuine incidence of AI, a phemomenon that will, barring my outrageously premature death, be made manifest within my lifetime.

This is a film full of of humour amd witticisms.The tone is light. Yet, at its core, it is very philosophical indeed, being focused on a character (Ryan Reynolds) who is a sentient AI. And the film, with a real lightness of touch, really explores the idea of artificial sentience.

Look, I realise the '20s (yes, i know, none of us can quite believe it;'s the 2020s.), and we can quite be legitimately raise an eyebrow at how the film at the end uses such properies as lightsabres (in a scene where it could, of corse, symbolise,,, ahem) and Captain America's shield. Also, I appreciate the metatextual fun in characers such as Buddy and Dude. but, ultimately, this is a film which cheerdfully disregards and, indeed, freely attacks the fourth wall throughout, right until the romantic ending.

A rather good first film of 2021.

Green Lantern (2011)

"You haven't just been replaced by an alien or something?"

It's so frustrating. This film has stuff going for it. It could easily have not been rubbish with a few tweaks. But sadly that was not to be, and rubbish it is.

There’s so much potential here. Ryan Reynolds is genuinely great as Hal Jordan. The Guardians and hordes of alien Green Lanterns look awesome, particularly Mark Strong as Sinestro and a great cameo from Michael Clarke Duncan as Kilowog. All of that side of things is great; the whole thing looks fantastic, the fans get what they want. But no amount of polishing can disguise the fact that the script is a turd.

It tries to be epic, it really does. But it starts with a load of CGI aliens we don’t care about, for ages, and then moves to an extended F-35 dogfight. All visual spectacle, no heart, no real humour, no character, until the film is quite a long way in. And, while Ryan Reynolds is great at giving us a well-rounded Hal whom we can like, the film never really recovers from that. We aren’t given time to know and care about any of the characters until the plot starts in earnest. And there’s an awkward moment where Hal “wins” his dogfight by going to high altitude and the same stunt saves him at the end, which looks awkwardly derivative of Iron Man. And then there’s the onviousness of the plot- you know, man-child with aimless life and problems with responsibility is given great power and responsibility that he supposedly deserves; seems undeserving and gives up; is persuaded by a beautiful woman to try again and saves the world. This sort of formula isn’t unusual in Hollywood, but it’s seldom so blatant.

And it’s a real shame; the film is well shot and well made. But, well, it’s the script, stupid.

Deadpool 2 (2018)

“It's a little hard to hear you with that pity dick in your mouth."

 I admit it; this sequel isn't quite as good as its predecessor. But who cares, frankly? It's awesome; witty, funny, and full of glorious violence, not least the violence done to the fourth wall. It may, shockingly, be the only film I've seen so far from this year, but I'm sure it would be a strong contender for most enjoyable film of the year in any case.

It's an action film that mocks loads of the tropes, as we'd expect, taking delight in action sequences with fancy action film camerawork and syncing them to unexpected soundtracks, and gloriously undercutting Deadpool's super-team (X-Force- ah, those halcyon Rob Liefeld days) by having almost the entire team die hilariously after a parachute jump, including Shatterstar (ha!) and the briefest ever cameo from Brad Pitt. Once again we have Colossus as the goody two shoes, once again we have (brief cameo aside) a mysterious scarcity of X-Men, and some tough but fair metatextual commentary from Wade Wilson himself ("You're so dark! Are you sure you're not from the DC Universe?"). All this plus Domino, who's rather cool. Josh Brolin may be just a little miscast as Cable, but you can't have everything. The Bond-style titles alone excuse a multitude of sins.

Of course, even better than that is the timey-wimey stuff at the end and what happens about Green Lantern and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Just bloody watch it. Unless, like me, you haven't seen Logan; spoilers abound.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

"We’re gonna make you invulnerable. But first we’re gonna destroy you.”

Well, this film is ok, I suppose- it certainly looks good, and the montage at the start of “Jimmy” and Victor fighting in various wars is brilliant, but somehow it doesn’t quite catch fire and was ever so mildly disappointing.

Interesting start, though; we learn far more about Logan’s past than I’m sure the comics ever told us. He was a child in 1845, living in what we can loosely call Canadian frontier territory, and his name is James Logan- and the psychopathic Victor Creed (Sabretooth) is indeed his older brother- and they look out for each other, in war after war, for 130 years, until Vietnam, and Colonel William Stryker.

Stryker is, of course, a younger iteration of the baddie from X-Men 2, portrayed superbly by Danny Huston, and hires the brothers as part of a slightly rubbish gang of mutant agents, including a criminally wasted Deadpool, portrayed by Ryan Reynolds but certainly not in continuity with his later solo outing, a far better film than this one. Oh, and one of these mutants, for some reason, is portrayed by a surprisingly decent Will.i.am.

But Logan leaves, in final disgust at Victor’s bloodlust, and six years pass in which he settles down as a lumberjack in the native Rockies with the lovely Kayla Silverfox- until Victor arrives, and kills the woman he loves. The person who was taking him has gone, and he wants revenge against the brother with whom he spent thirteen decades.

And so we come to the pivotal scene, where he survives the agonies of having adamantium bonded to his skeleton. Only with his healing factor can this not kill him, and he seems to barely survive. This is an important scene, and it’s done well.

Except... from this point the film drags, and lots of random elements are included. Nice as it is to see Gambit and the Blob (in a particularly toe-curling scene), they are irrelevant distractions from the newly christened Wolverine and his revenge against Victor Creed, Stryker and their bizarre and vaguely purposed little Island of Dr Moreau full of kidnapped mutants- including, for no good reason, a young Scott Summers.

The last half hour is a mess, with even the revelation of Kayla’s duplicity lacking real emotional heft, although there is real pathos in someone so old and full of tears having his memory cruelly erased. And yet... the film is well shot, and would have worked well if better edited. Was there a clash between the director and the studio?

I’d like to see a director’s cut, but the film we have is unfortunately a bit of a mess, in spite of its good points.

Buried (2010)

"You American?"

"Yeah."

"Then you soldier!"

I imagine that this, a thriller set entirely in a cramped, poorly lit coffin with only one visible actor and all drama conveyed by means of a mobile phone with a slowly diminishing number of bars, would have made a good short story. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's a good script. It could even, with cuts for length, have made a good TV play. But, much as it's always nice to see films experimenting with the form of the medium, well.... cinema is a visual media. And that's why this film fails.

Not that Ryan Reynolds is anything but outstanding here in what is a real showcase for his talent, but the camera pointing at one an in a cramped space was never going to make good visuals, and good visuals are essential. I can understand the purist motives for doing it this way, but every single other actor is but a voice on the phone or brief video footage on the phone. Can we not at least have had flashbacks, perhaps of Paul's various romantic liaisons, the dirty bugger?

The tragedy is that the script is good- the final ten minutes or so, the false hope, the realisation that Paul's bastard employers have found an excuse to fire him and dodge paying his insurance, meaning he dies knowing his wife and son will inherit nothing but poverty, even the implicit satire of a world where we're forever being put on hold- but the idea of doing a film this way, however cool it may seem on paper, could never have worked without some kind of compromise with the format. And that's a real shame.

Ok, there's the scene with the snake. But this is an odd example of a film where it's probably better to read the script than to watch.

Deadpool (2016)

"I'm gonna do to your face what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late '90s..."

I can honestly say that no film has ever given me so much difficulty in choosing the quote. Also in the frame were the line about David Beckham and the one about the fourth wall, but there had to be a winner. That alone tells you, and let's make no bones about it, this is going to be a pretty damn glowing review.

This is the first Marvel film under the auspices of Fox that I've blogged although, as I think you'd guess, hardly the first I've seen. I'm aware of the controversy about them and, yes, I side with Marvel over that, particularly Fantastic Four-gate. But I see no reason to boycott the films because of that, as some do. They can be good, they can be bad or, as in this case, they can be awesome, but they were all made by creative people who deserve to be thought of as more than pawns in the game of movie studio politics.

Anyway. The film. It's awesome. You knew that, because I just said it anyway. It's a gloriously violent film with devastatingly witty dialogue and a truly charismatic central performance from Ryan Reynolds, whose comic timing is perfect. The metatextual fun (you know I love that sort of thing) is everywhere, not only in the plot and dialogue but in the opening titles, the freeze frames, every stylistic quirk. Tim Miller's direction is no less witty than the script, and that's saying something.

Ed Skrein makes a good and bizarrely Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels-type baddie, and it's fantastic to see a major Hollywood part for the excellent Morena Baccarin a decade after Firefky.

This stands a very good chance of being declared my best film of 2016 when I get to the end of the year. Already. A truly awesome film.

Adventureland (2009)

"You don't want 'virgin' to be your signifier."

"He takes one semiotics class..."

Ah, the nostalgia. Those halcyon days of uni, youth, much alcohol, the smoking of certain substances (not entirely off topic for this film!), terrible nightclubs (ditto) and Saussurean linguistics. It takes me back.

First things first, though: in spite of the fact that both films star Jesse Eisenberg, both were released in 2009 and both have similar titles, this film is not connected to Zombieland. Not, despite the uncanny similarities of Jesse Eisenberg's character getting dumped as he's introduced to us, is it connected to The Social Network.

It is, however, a brilliant and justly acclaimed film that deserves to be better known. Oh, structurally it may be a romantic comedy by numbers: boy meets girl; boy loses girl through series of complex event involving love triangles on both sides; boy really goes extra mile and gets girl back. The structure is nothing new. But within that structure it's funny: the dialogue is witty, intellectual and laugh out load hilarious. The characterisation is similarly superb. Basically, it rocks. And Joel is officially the coolest guy ever.

Even better than that, though, is the soundtrack. This film is set in an expertly realised 1987, and the tone is alternative '80s, meaning loads of my favourite bands. We open to "Bastards of Young" by the Replacements, no less, and the emotionally pivotal scene gets "Unsatisfied", a song which I love passionately and which, if you haven't yet heard, you must hear immediately. Seriously. The Velvet Underground are, quite rightly, everywhere and, incidentally, the subtitles tell me I've been getting the lyrics wrong for "Here She Comes Now" for years. Er, "She becomes my mouth", anyone?

Give this overlooked film a chance. It rocks in more ways than one.