What If... the Watcher Broke His Oath?

 "Blimey! Bloody bollocks!"

Still having Netflix issues which may delay the last episodes of Sandman for a few days, so I'll just carry on with the Disney Marvel shows untol that's sorted- with episodes of Rings of Power as they drop, of course. Once Netflix is back with me, the normal blogging schedule will resume. 

So we complete the season with the conclusion of the fourth wall-breaking two parter and it's entertaing enough, albeit rather heavily based on action. Inevitably we get a team assembled by the Watcher from throughout the season. Theseare apparently the perfect team to defeat Ultron. Yes, even a version of Thor who is nothing but a Hooray Henry. Hmm.

It's fun, though. The characters interact well. It's impressive that we manage to get cameos from the likes of Kurt Russell, Samuel L. Jacksom and Tom Hiddleston. And, sadly, this is the Marvel swansong for Chadwick Boseman.

There are nice little heartwarming happy endings for both Peggy and Natasha too. Sentimental, yes, but just about earned. Overall, this is a decent enough conclusion, if a little crowded and by-the-book.

What If... Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?

 "You believe the cure for human suffering is more suffering?"

This is a fascinating episode. Killmonger saves Tony Stark... so he remains a playboy and never becomes Iron Man, leading to so much stuff not happening. For much of the episode we have basically decent but still very playboy Tony Stark.

But that's not what this episode is about.

It's about Erik Killmonger, and his lifelong concealed rage. Rage against racism. Rage against colonial exploitation. A rage that leads him to use Ulysses Klaw while he remains useful but kills him as soon as he slips into very Sith Efrican casual racism redolent of those days, within living memory, when South Africa was not so civilised. 

Stark still tries to be a hero in the end, but Killmonger is a fascinating and complex character amongst many in a nuanced and highyly satisfactory episode that packs so much into half an hour.

It's great to hear the voice of Chadwick Boseman. He's in this a lot, and he must have been dying. Was he too sick to appear on film but determined to make as much of a mark as he could in the time he had left? A sad thought.

Black Panther (2018)

“It's hard for a good man to be king."

This is a hard film to review objectively. It's clearly a significant cultural artifact, far more so than a normal MCU film, and has connected with the African diaspora worldwide for its Afro-Futurism, a big part of a cultural movement that includes works such as Janelle Monae's ArchAndroid, and which constitutes a positive look at the potential of African achievement in spite of a background of colonialism and the Atlantic slave trade.

The central conceit of the character of T'Challa has been, of course, for 52 years, that he's the king of a fictional African nation- Wakanda- that secretly defies all African stereotypes to be the most technologically and socially advanced nation on Earth. It's an African paradise, yet the cause of a central debate between the traditional view of the late T'Chaka- Wakanda is for the Wakandans, not for all Africa or the world, and it must be protected; and the view-,expounded with militancy by Erik Killmonger, that Wakanda must share its bounty with the world. This is an interesting central dilemma, but one fundamentally divorced from real world concerns. And, while it's good to see a positive portrayal of Africa and Africans, it's also a little disturbing to see Wakanda presented as a mish-mash of various West African, East African and South African cultures, not all of them Bantu, as though they were the same- and they are not; sub-Saharan Africa is huge and impossibly diverse. I'm not sure that the message that African cultures are pretty much the same is fundamentally a positive one, whatever the merits of the film's upbeat message. Is it only white and Asian people who are allowed to have distinctly different ethnic identities?

Still, the film works as entertainment in the traditional Marvel mould, and Chadwick Boseman's lack of charisma is well compensated for by an awesome and largely female cast. Ryan Coogler has made a film that looks superb in every way, with nothing in the visuals that I can fault. But, much though I enjoyed the film, with its black female Q, its James Bond pastiche antics and the big final battle with war rhinos(!), the film is merely good, not great.

Fantastic Stan Lee cameo, mind, though obviously bittersweet...

Fantastic Four (2015)

"Its clobbering time!"

This may just possibly be the worst film I have EVER seen. It really is that bad, and it's depressingly clear that Fox only made the film to retain the rights- not the only time this has happened with a Fantastic Four film, unfortunately. You can certainly understand Marvel's disquiet.

So what's wrong with the film? Well, Reed Richards is blatantly too young; the character of Doctor Doom is mishandled in exactly the same way as the otherwise excellent 2005 film, portraying him as simply an arrogant scientist who may as well be American; and it does the bloody origin again, which is something I keep banging on about as something films should avoid as they're essentially just exposition and it's best just to skip to the action.

But what's truly unforgivable about the film, aside from the cast's utter lack of charisma, is that it utterly fails to do this. It's boring. Literally nothing exciting happens until the last ten minutes. It takes a lot to make a film about the Fantastic Four that's just dull, but this has managed to do it.

I suppose you could say that the film successfully conveys the horror of Ben Grimm's situation, and it's nice to substitute another dimension for cosmic rays, but this film has no other redeeming features. This is one to be watched only for the purpose of slagging it off in blogs, which is my way of trying to justify wasting my time on this dreck.