What If... Howard the Duck Got Hitched?

 "Captain Mohawk stole our baby!"

Just to be clear, I quite like a lot of KISS. But "I Was Made for Loving You" is a disco-tinged abomination. Just to be clear.

That said... otherwise, I like this episode. Yes, it's very silly having the concept. of Howard the Duck and Dacy (Mr and Mrs "the Duck"...) have a hybrid kid together, absolutely leaning into the interspecies sexz fun of 1986's Howard The Duck (nice touch, the reference to "Mrs Switzler"). And naturally this egg is the most important child ever, whose coming has been foretold and who is therefore fought over by all the cosmic entities of the MCU, from Zeus to the Grandmaster to Dormannu to Thanos to SHIELD.

Only for it to turn out that it's the parents who should raise the child after all, as that's how childrearing works. This child is special... but aren't they all? This episode, broadcast on a day which commemorates the birth of a child, is a rather nice and fun metaphor for all the things we parents go through, and it's lovely.

But also fun. And with a surprisingly high amount of star wattage.

I'm left wondering, though... yes, this works as just a metaphor. We don't need to take the metaphor literally and see what this little girl becomes... but will we?

What If... the Avengers Assembled in 1602?

 "We never get our happy ending..."

I read Neil Gaiman's limited series of 1602 a couple of decades ago, but I fear I remember little. I recall the throwback from the future being the same as here, but the 1602 of the limited series was much more rooted in real history, Old Queen Bess with her old rotting teeth and all that. This is a very different beast, but fun just the same.

We have rifts in time causing this universe to end. We have a very ungrateful King Thor- he's had Wanda Maximoff kidnap Peggy from her own reality (and her own Steve Rgers) to help save their universe... only to exile her when she initially fails, still exiled to a doomed world. Yet Peggy is truly a hero, refusing the Watcher's offer to take her "home."

Indeed, I love the metatextuality with Peggy being very much aware of the Watcher's presence and the two ofvthem interacting. But then, of course, this is an episode which opens with Tom Hiddleston playing Hamlet (a recent play by some lad from Warwickshire) and which is delightfully crammed with deliberately absurd olde worlde insults.

The character stuff is cool too, though. Once again, Happy Hogan becomes the Freak. Yet, at the core of things, behind all the fun, is the deep, tragic heartbreak of Peggy and Steve never getting to be together. Here's hoping that the finale puts a stop to that...

What if... Captain Carter fought the Hydra Stomper

 "I don't do sequels... normally."

And I thought last episode was good.

This one is simply outstanding. It helps, of course, that it's a sequel to one of last season's standout episodes and benefits from the powerfully tragic love story where Peggy and Steve, although deeply in love, can never be together on account of the small problem of him being the Hydra Stomper, never helpful to true love.

This gives the episode a nice bit of depth and character, but the whole thing oozes class, with excellent characterisation. The close friendshop between Peggy and Natasha Romanov feels real and nuanced. It's great seeing Peggy as out-of-time in the present day, just like the Steve of "our" world. It's nice to see a Bucky Barnes who has remained living and grown old. And, yeah, that ersatz American town in Sokovia is magnificent nightmare fuel.

Also, what an ending. Is this a version of Neil Gaiman's 1602 graphic novel? I look forward to it. The finale, I assume?

The Marvels (2023)

 "Do you just add the word 'quantum' before everything?"

I don't usually watch films at the cinema because it's a faff finding a showing with subtitles... but I made an exception today, for this film. There seems to be a massive wave of negativity around The Marvels, not for any reason to do with its content, but because certain pathetic incels and male supremacist far right wankers are having a bit of a mardy. So I went to see it during the opening weekend just to throw my two fingers up at said little boys.

And you know what? I LOVED it. And not only because I'm a cat lover. Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris and especially Iman Vellani are superb, giving us a likeable and charismatic super team. Crucially, the writing is superb absolutely in the Marvel tradition, balancing humour, humanity and cinematic action.

Spoilers, in case it needs saying.

Zawe Ashton is also great as Dar-Benn, a typical Marvel baddie. Yet there's real heart behind the theatrics. We learn that Carol caused Hala to start to die as an eventual result of killing the Supreme Intelligence, and the reason she didn't come back to see Monica was, essentially, shame. Kamala Khan is the perfect Spider-Man type teenage superhero, and her relationship with her family is utterly wonderful. Then there's Nick Fury, and the fact that it's cats who essentially save everyone by eating them with tentacles. And yes, that's a sentence I rather enjoyed writing. Then we have all the little Marvel details- Quasar's Quantum Band; quantum entanglement, like Mar-Vell and Rick Jones in the comics; lots of harking back to Ms Marvel and WandaVision.

The end is quite something, with Monica (my generation's Captain Marvel!) stuck in a different reality after fixing a hole in the multiversal fabric. She's in the X-Mansion! We see Kelsey Grammer as the Beast! "Charles" is mentioned. And... her alternate mother is there, this reality's Captain Marvel, except this time in Carol's old comics guise of Binary. This is awesome. And that's before we even consider the fact that Kamala, echoing Nick Fury, is going around assembling a team of young superheroes, starting with Kate Bishop. 

This is good, proper, old-fashioned MCU fun, just solid superhero storytelling. This is one of the finest MCU films in recent years, right up there with the best.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)

 "The desert is merciless. It takes everything from you."

It's up in the air, at this point, whether I'm going to blog the Clone Wars series, as there are over a hundred bloody episodes. Eek. But it seemed worthwhile to have a look at the initial TV film and experience Ahsoka's first appearance, having only known her from the recent live action stuff on Disney Plus.

All the same, I rather enjoyed this. I'm not sure I liked the rather odd animation style, but this was a nice little bit of fanwank to pass the time. You could tell the voice actors were different- although kudos for getting both Samuel L Jackson and Christopher Lee- but for the most part they were quite convincing.

The story, a sinister attempt at diplomatic skulduggery on the part of Count Dooku to use Jabba the Hutt's bizarrely cute son as a pawn against the Republic, is rather good, though. So is the nuanced characterisation of Anakin Skywalker which, if anything, is better than anything we see onscreen during the prequels. But, of course, the main reason for watching this is to meet a very young, enthusiastic, rather awesome Ahsoka as she becomes Anakin's apprentice against his will and, rather ttouchingly, a genuine bond starts to fall. This rather pivotal bit of characterisation is handled very well indeed.

I also enjoyed the campest Hutt in history, and the comedic incompetence of the separatist droids that is, quite rightly, played for laughs. This probably shouldn't be seen as any more than what it is, but I rather enjoyed it.

Secret Invasion: Home

 "That's real one-term president stuff!"

So I gather this finale is widely disliked. Well, I loved it. And I think the issue here is that I see Secret Invasion, and I know I keen banging on about this, as Marvel doing John Le Carre style spy stuff- which is very different from James Bond spy stuff. John Le Carre's spies are not glamorousalpha males; they are tired, aging men who have lived too much of their long lives in a world of grubby deceit.

That's what we have here, and why this is such a briulliant little character study of old spy Nick Fury, whose deceptive career has bled into, and interrupted his home life. The moment where he kisses Priscilla wearing her Skrull face is a deep and very much foreshadowed moment between the two of them, yes: but it's also symbolic of Fury's yearning towards truth and reality.

This is a superb finale. Throughout we are given constant misdirection as to where Fury is and where Sonya is. Sonya gets to be the cool one- as I've said before, she's from the Ian Fleming school of spying, gurest starring in a John Le Carre novel.

We get an awesome set piece fight between two Skrulls. We get a bigoted US president outlawing all aliens, a contemptible act, and very Trumpian. Yet we get Sonya establishing an understanding with Gi-ah and the Skrulls. A lot may be being set up here. And Fury, of course, will return in The Marvels.

Don't be put off by the naysayers, I implore you, Think John Le Carre, and watch this.

Secret Invasion: Harvest

 "It's really just a matter of taste. Cake or death."

Oh boy. Not that things have been uneventful so far, but it's all kicking off. Gravik is becoming truly unhinged, not only wanting armageddon for humanity but not caring how many Skrulls die in the process... and, courtesy of his superpowers, he survives an attempted revolt. At this point he commants his underlings by fear alone, not loyalty.

But Gravik appears to be winning, and Fury is on the run again, the footage of someone wearing his face murdering Maria now released to the world, and possibly a bit of a comment on deepfakes. Oh, and I misunderstood last episode: Gi'ah survived her execution via genetic jiggery-pokery.

Sonya continues to be awesome, best James Bond ever. MCU, can we have more Olivia Colman please? I'm so glad that we end, and head into the finale, with Fury and Sonya together. This truly is superb spy drama in the style of John Le Carre, not only in terms of plot but in terms of Fury as a world-weary central character, old and wizened. Nick Fury is... a sort of George Smiley, weird though that sounds.

Apparently this isn't as successful as Marvel would have liked. But it deserves to be.

Secret Invasion: Beloved

 "You are delusional!"

Yes, I know. I'm breaking my rules here, blogging the same series consecutively to catch up. But things have clicked and I'm in love with a show which I believe is misunderstood- it's Marvel does John Le Carre and a tour de force from Samuel L Jackson, an actor of the very first class, in that context. People who don't get it need to see the BBC's Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and imagine that Karla is a green alien with pointy ears with a comic book history embracing cows and speakeasies. Anyway...

This is superb, spellbinding telly. We begin with Fury learning, through a carefully planted bug (on his own wife!) that Priscilla is in league with Rhodey… and (quite the bombshell, although something like this was coming) Rhodey is a Skrull, and the mole on the inside who is integral to Gravik’s plot to assassinate the President and blame it on the Russians. Suddenly it makes sense why Rhodey is acting as he is.

The scenes between Fury and Priscilla are exquisite, with Jackson giving us an acting tour de force as he confronts her. There are layers to their conversation, harking back to the flashback earlier. Suddenly, they both shoot, in the world’s most romantic shootout… and both deliberately miss. Ah!

We end with the big set piece as Gravik’s plans are carried out and the President saved. It’s sad to see Talos die, but at least he never knows the heartbreak of knowing Gi’ah is gone. Was he right? Will humanity justify his faith? We shall see.

This continues to be superb, underrated telly.

Secret Invasion: Betrayed

 "Well, I never cared much for golf, so,,, I'm thinking I might as well take up revenge,"

And with that, it suddenly clicks. I can see what Secret Invasion is trying to do, and why not everyone gets it. But I think I do: it's the MCU does the spy genre. But not as in James Bond... well, a bit... but far more in the sense of John Le Carre.

So many lies, so many games, so many betrayals, as per the title. Indeed, so many layers of betrayal. Gi'ah to Gravik. The rebel Skrulls to humanity. Priscilla to Fury, as we suspect from early on and is confirmed at the end. Yet... didn't he betray her through neglect, too? Heartbreakingly, we get to see them young and in love in 1998.

But what's so very Le Carre is how sordid it all seems, despite Sonya being there, on purpose, to represent a more fun side of the genre. What Fury and Talos do is not fun or glamorous; it grinds them down right into old age. And the scene in which Talos points out how him and his mates have guided Fury's career is quietly devastating... but not as devastating as Gravik catching and shooting Gi'ah, having suspected her all along. It was all a trap. Yes, Gravik want to engineer human nuclear extinction while a new race of "Super Skrulls" (hah, of course- harbinger of a certain quartet?) takes over what's left... but today's nuclear gambit was all to flush out Gi'ah. So she gives her life, on her father's say so, to save humanity. Has Talos thus been betrayed?

Brilliant telly.

Secret Invasion: Promises

 "I'm Nick Fury. Even when I'm out, I'm in."

This isn't really a Nick Fury show, but more of an ensemble. The different factions of Skrulls get a lot of screen time, with Emilia Clarke excelling as pressured double agent G'iah and Kingsley Ben-Adir as Gravik. Olivia Colman sparkles as Sonya who, it's now clear, is basically a female James Bond. This episode is pretty damn good, more so than the first.

But there's a lot of Fury, the once-lregendary old man who may have lost his mojo, as everyone keeps musing. There's some great character stuff for him, performed to excellence by Samuel L Jackson, an actor of the very first class. We learn that there are a million Skrulls on Earth(!) via his reminiscences of Jim Crow era Alabama. The scene with hiom and Rhodey is superb. There's a lot of fascinating musing, echoing The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, on what it means to be Black in America.

The Skrull plot deepens. The council of Skrulls seems to fall in behind Gravik... and the British Prime Minister, among others, is a Skrull! This is cool. If only people could tell screenwriters across the pond that prime ministers are addressed as just "prime minister". No "Mr" or "Madam". 

There's little else to whinge about, though. I'm enjoying the wit and intrigue. Even the torture scene was amusing. And, so far, the potentially dodgy premise of refugees as baddies hasn't crossed any blatantly unfortunate lines. Here's hoping the quality continues.

Secret Invasion: Resurrection

 "Take his face. Now take his mind."

So it begins, a one-off mini-series for which I'm thoroughly unspoiled: I'm fairly familiar with Marvil comics up to about 1993-94, hardly at all after that. I'm aware of the general premise of the storyline- Invasion pf the Body Snatchers, but worldwide, with Skrulls- but no more than that.

So Talos, mourning his wife, is still on the side of the humans, but younger Skrulls, led by young hothead Gravik, seek to take over the Earth- naturally- by seemingly causing a nuclear apocalypse that will destroy all human life but which they can survive. Gulp. And they certainly succeed in detonating a dirty bomb in Moscow.

This is what brings Nick Fury literally down to Earth, but as we're told by several of his old friends- Maria Hill, his old friend Sonya of MI6, an awesomely charismatic performance from the wonderful Olivia Colman- he's seen to have lodst his mojo after Thanos' snap, no longer the Fury who was always three steps ahead. It's a great little character stufdy, and a superb performance from Samuel L. Jackson as a septuagenarian Fury, still the witty spy of old but with a newfound vulnerability.

There's a superbly generated sense of uncertainty and paranoia throughout: trust no one. Talos' daughter Gi'ah has divided loyalties, and my gut reaction is she's likely to die Everett Ross is a Skrull... for how lomg, I wonder? Shockingly, though, Fury kills Maria Hill, deciding she's a Skrull... and she isn't. ouch. It's a moment that packs a punch.

I'm not sure this is quite first rank stuff yet, but I'm enjoying it. Interesting to set something like this in Russia these days, mind, even if it was filmed in Czechia..

What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?

 "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to exit the donut."

Another intriguing, if very short, eposode here as Nick Fury has to deal with the original avengers (sans the still-frozen Captain America) being killed by a mystery baddie before the Avengers Initiative can take off.

It's clever- I like the use of Loki, and the twist at the end as he almost casually takes over Earth. I'm not sure about the Coulson jokes- its all a bit "ha ha, he's gay", but the reveal as to what the POD was is clever- it's Hope Van Dyne being killed in action for SHIELD, causing Hank Pym to go all unhinged and- nice touch- to don the mantle of Yellowjacket in a nod to the comics, this time thankfully without the domestic violence.

It's a shame not all the voice actors are the real actors, but these are big stars, not always available, and it's easier to use understudies for animation- although I hope the non-appearance of Scarlett Johansen isn't because of that massive mardy Disney threw at her last year.

A little rushed, then, but this is engaging enough.

What if... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?

 "Who needs a plan? I have shield!"

So Loki has unleashed the Multiverse. Branches now proliferate. So here's the first.

In alternate history (Google the fourm; it's an interest of mine) we have a phrase, the "POD" or point of divergence. Here, it's Peggy choosing to stay, and so becoming the Super Soldier instead of Steve... hence the Captain Carter in Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness.

This is huge fun. Captain America: The First Avenger plays out with Peggy as the hero- allowed to display the Union Flag, for some reason, by Americans of 1943, who would have been somewhat more ambiguous about us.

And it's wonderful. The romance between strong Peggy and War Machine weaking Steve, with a character that wins her heart. The Lovecraftian horror. I love this.

Jackie Brown (1997)

 "I think it's a gun pressed against your dick..."

It's somewhat embarrasing that there are any Quentin Tarantino films I haven't seen, quite frankly, This is the earliest, and I'm so glad I crossed it offmy list. I mean, it's not even one of the more famous Tarantino films, but that matters not. It's a straightforward, yet also complex, heist movie with few bells and whistles of Tarantino's usual structural stuff. But it's interesting to see him restraining himself. This film is superb.

The cast is, of course, magnificent. Pam Grier stars, wonderfully, in a film that is not a B movie, and shoes us her sheer class in a highlight of her career. Given a first class film, she shines. If only she'd been given more. She's a forty-something black woman starring in a big Hollywood movie, too. That's embarrassingly rare, and I bet Miramax (friends of a rapist) had representations. I'm sure any one- or two-fingered gesture would fit nicely here.

Yet Samuel L. Jackson is also oiutstanding as Ordell, a clever, gun-running chap whose best line (about guns and killing, of course) cannot be used at the top of this blog post because swear words are a thing to right wing wankers, who nevertheless won't censor said obscenity because it's a Brit thing.

Roberty De Biro is in this, giving a restrained yet awesome performance. The plot is superb, as is the dialogue. It's a noice '90s time capsule in that Jackie is poor and must subsist on recorfds, not CDs- that's really dated.

Sid Haig is there, too, as the judge. This is a superb henist movie, yet I'm sure thrre are all sorts of directorial bits...?

Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)

 "I'm in love with Spider-Man's aunt!"

Yes, I know. I'm well behind oin the Marvel films; I intend to remedy that. And I'm being competist, and trying to track down Blade:Trinity. Anyway...

This film is awesome. It works brilliantly both as an action film and as a farce. It's totally a Spider-Man film- the characterisation of Spidey is spot on, and Tom Holland is superb, plus not only is Jake Gyllenhaal brilliant as Mysterio but the villain works perfectly. He's the master of illusion: what could be more gloriously cinematic?

And yet, at the same time, this is absolutely a big MCU film. It ties Spidey very strongly to the legacy of the late Tony Stark- including, with Happy, an important member of Shellhead's supporting cast. But it's deeper than that. The film takes place in the afteermath of the former dead returning after Thanos's snap. Nick Fury and Cobie Smulders take prominent roles... and turn out to be Skrulls.

And, yes, at the end, a dying Mysterio outs Spidey as Peter Parker- via J.K. Simmonds as J. Jonah Jameson once more!!!- which will have future consequences, but which is also a sign of the MCU disdaining the concept of secret identities. We do not rely on cliched tropes here.

It's mostly an adorable and light farce, though, with lots of comedy, bits of action and romance between Peter and Mary Jane, which is incredibly sweet. Yet at the same time it manages to  be a very Spider-Man film set far from his territory of New York- imagine!- and a brilliant MCU film.

Kevin Feige, you and your underlings triumph yet again.

Jurassic Park (1993)

 “An interactive CD-ROM!”

“An interactive C-D ROM!” 

I had a vague impression I’d seen this film 🎥 before. I hadn’t. It is, to avoid all beating around any bushes, brilliant. Oh, the cast is superb. Sam Neill and Laura Dern star with great brightness. Dickie Attenborough gives us a real career highlight. Jeff Goldblum gives us the prototype of the splendid maverick scientist role that he would come to own. Bob Peck, a find actor, finally makes it in Hollywood.

The CGI is dated. The science, perhaps, too: dinosaurs ARE birds. And, yes, Ian is highly charismatic. Yet his spiel against John’s sci-fi dinosaur DNS nonsense is subtly religious, objecting not only to John’s playing around with the ecosystem but to his perceived blasphemy- and “blasphemy” is a concept accepted only by tyrants who despise freedom and crave theocratic absolutism. Also, there’s an amusingly obvious subplot of getting the kid-hating Alan to begin to tolerate the little soda.

That aside, though, this is a solid blockbuster from the esteemed and too often snobbish my dismissed Mr Spielberg. Long may he direct.

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

 "This ain't that kind of movie, bruv."

This, in spite of being from pretty much the same creative team as the rather good Kick-Ass and ultimately, indeed, the creation of Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons, is a film I've somehow avoided seeing for seven years. I'm glad thise years are now over; ths doesn't pretend to be anything other than a gloriously violent and stylish blockbuster, but it does this very well indeed, and with a great deal of visual flair.

The premise- a private secret service operated as a second venture of a posh Savile Row tailors- is intriguing although, unlike Eggsy, I'd be inclined to be concerned about the acountability of such a private organisation. I don't think we should read too much into the class subtext as chav Eggsy goes through a rite of passage to become an agent, but it's fun to see him succeed. Colin Firth, too, is superb as his effortlessly awesome mentor, and inevitably there's a cool role for Michael Caine. We also have Mark Hamill playing against type as a British professor, but the most stellar perfrmance by far is that of Samuel L. Jackson, as the Bond villain he was born to play, rather intriguingly pointing out that the Chinese secret service is rather worrying as it has no particular name..

The film works superbly as a straightforward Bond-Style action film, but with the added little touch of lots of nods at the fourth wall, from the verbal sparring between Harry and Valentine on old Bond film tropes to the moment where the latter seems about to tell the former all his plans before putting him in an elaborate death trap, but shoots him instead. 

This film may not have much to say about the world, but it entertained me an awful lot. One of the better class of modern Bond pastiches.

Captain Marvel (2019)

" If toast is cut diagonally, I can't eat it."

I should say fromthe start that I love this film, more so than most Marvel films and you can see (look at the Marvel Index) that I have a pretty damn high opinion of most of them. Partly, that's because the is a damn good blockbuster film of a science fiction nature. Partly it's the feminist message, even if it is a bit vague and "girl power" (how very '90s). Partly, though, it's because this film scratches my Marvel fan itch in a way few others have.

Let's take it as read that this works well as the first Marvel film with a female lead (rather late), and that Brie Larsen is xcellent. Let us enjoy the '90s setting, the awesome soundtrack, the impressive CGI that turns Samuel L. Jackson, with a pretty damn large part, into his '90s self with perfection. Oh, and let us briefy stop to note that, fo a Marvel zombie of my age, Captain Marvel is not Carol Danvers (Binary!), or Mar-Vell, and certainly not Billy Bloody Batson. It's Monica Rambeau. and, if you don't get that, read some '80s Avengers when Roger Stern was writing and Jim Shooter was the best boss Marvel ever had. Ah, nostalgia.

So let us, er, marvel at the tribute to Stan at the start, and then at the faithful recreation of both the Kree- we see Hala, Yon-Rogg (an excellent Jude Law), in a variation of the origin of Mar-Vell (female here, a nice touch), Dr Minerva (Gemma Chan of Humans), Captain Atlas, and of course Ronan the Accuser. But let us also enjoy the twist of the Skrulls (whose design is very Fantastic Four #2) being not only thgoodies but also just refugees, victims of the evil Kree, and not a galaxy-spanning empire.  Let us also marvel as the design of all things Kree, which is excitingly faithful to the comics.

This is right up there with the best Marvel films. Can we see Carol anvers agaon, please? And the Monica Rambeau of the present day?

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

“So this is how liberty dies- with thunderous applause.”

The Star Wars prequels have, to put it mildly, a mixed reputation. And yet, having now rewatched them all, I have to concur with the emerging critical consensus that they are, in hindsight, admittedly flawed but perhaps also much better than their reputation.

It is, perhaps, unfortunate that the first film of the trilogy should be the most problematic. The Phantom Menace has a solid concept hiding behind a flawed structure and a less than charismatic cast. Yet these teething troubles are left far behind by this concluding instalment.

To a degree the whole concept is the film is, I suppose, pure fan service. It exists, by definition, to follow a gap in backstory between the prequels and the original trilogy. And this it does neatly, with loose ends cleared up in the final scenes, perhaps too neatly. It’s all very smoothly done, albeit with the odd necessary retcon: didn’t Leia reminisce to Luke about their mother in Return of the Jedi?

But the film is more than this. It’s an extended study of a person, Anakin Skywalker, who is played rather well by Hayden Christensen, a far better actor than his reputation. But Ian McDuarmid owns the film utterly as the seductive Palpatine, dripping poison in Anakin’s ear and ultimately corrupting him. And there are depths here. Palpatine is Augustus- not a military man but nevertheless destroying his Republic, institution by institution, until he is suddenly being referred to as emperor. There are rich themes here, echoing late Republican Rome but dealing with questions of security versus liberty- you can tell the War on Terror was a live issue- of constitutional liberalism versus convenient tyranny, and of the philosophy of the Jedi, shielding themselves from attachment because that way lies “jealousy” and therefore “greed”. But does this emotional equanimity not itself lead to callousness, itself a weakness?

This is a surprisingly deep film. Plus there are so many coolest pieces including Count Dooku fighting Anakin and Obi Wan with lightsabers (Christopher Lee is eighty-three here); General Grievous and his four lightsabers; Yoda versus the Emperor; and many more. But what will stay in my mind will be Padme’s horrified rejection of what Anakin has become. A brilliant, entertaining and surprisingly deep film.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (2002)

“I’m programmed for etiquette, not destruction.”

I tried to like The Phantom Menace but, while I found a good concept at its core, I didn’t entirely succeed. This time around, despite a couple of uncharismatic leads, I was surprised to find a film that was pretty damn good.

Ewan McGregor, though a good actor, is far too hopelessly miscast and awkwardly stiff as Obi Wan, a problem which remains. I didn't find Hayden Christensen t all bad as Anakin, despite his reputation, and his acting is sound- but he just doesn't have the charisma. These two aside, though, we have an engaging cast led by Natalie Portman, a superb baddie in Christopher Lee, and a bigger role for the Jedi council. We also have an exciting and well structured film that both cleverly moves the plot arc forward and convincingly develops the characters.

The main arc- the beginning of the clone wars and Palpatine assuming more power, chipping away at democracy in the beleaguered Republic as he ostensibly increases its security with a clone army-hints at an old tension between liberty and security, and it's clear that Anakin, influenced as much by Palpatine as his actual mentor Obi Wan, is on the side of the authoritarians. Yet I'm surprised more is not made of the Roman parallels- a Republic with an overstretched web of territory becoming more and more swayed by the necessity of a strong military, and even a popular politician manipulating himself into the position of Dictator, like Caesar. The political skulduggery is very well handled indeed.

Yet so is the gradually and convincingly developing romance between Padme and Anakin, which is entirely believable. And Anakin begins as likeable and not really a bad bloke- what's wrong with reasonably questioning authority, having a sexuality, being idealistic? And his only sins here are the urge to protect his mother and the woman he loves. It's only when he slaughters the Tusken Raiders as revenge for his mother, including the children, and when he lets slip his authoritarian leanings, that hints of darkness begin to appear in him as they do with the Republic itself.

But there's also plenty of action throughout, some good comedy with C-3PO and R2-D2, and some actual wit and humour in the dialogue, a joy to behold. We even get to see a cool, Kiwi origin for Boba Fett (not named here as a Mandalorian!), a lightsabre contest between Count Dooku and the awesome Yoda, and a confrontation scene between legends Christopher Lee and Samuel L. Jackson.

I think I'll come out and say it; there are a couple of flaws, yes, but the second of the prequels is a bloody good film.