Stargate (1994)

 "There can be only one Ra..."

I've never seen any of the subsequent telly series, but I have seen this film before, back in the '90s, hiring it from the local video shop. I enjoyed it then... and I absolutely adore it now.

I'm told there were all sorts of behind-the-scenes headaches for the film, it wasn't expected to do well, and it was a massive surprise when it turned out to be a huge hit. Yet it's simply very good, a very '90s twist on Erik Von Daniken with Egyptian gods as ancient aliens, with a superb and well-placed plot, a brilliant series of concepts and very strong central performances from James Spader and Kurt Russell. 

The visuals, the aesthetics of the gods are awesome. The first sight of Horus is well-shot and effective- and it's a surprise to find him being played by a young Djimon Hounsou. The pyramids, the three moons in the sky... the visuals are as good as the plot.

The whole thing is very much plot-driven, and the conceit of seeing everything through the eyes of Daniel Jackson works well, as we are introduced to the backstory of the Stargate at a point where the authorities are on board and plans already laid.

Yet there is humanity too. Both Daniel and Colonel O'Neill are three-dimensional, flawed but ultimately good people, and the people enslaved by the "gods" manage to seem like real and likeable people despite speaking an unknown language. And the ending is deeply satisfying.

This is simply a great concept, executed superby. That's why it's a great film.

What If... T'Challa Became a Star Lord?

 "You are very articulate for a duck..."

"That, Sir, is very closed-minded!"

It's fascinating, with a second episode, to see what is just format and what is not. Hence we see the same intro with the Watcher, equally effective. But then we see a fascinating tale of T.Challa, in many ways a batter and more beloved Starlord, who even convinces Thanos(!) to join the Ravagers, is adored by Yondu, and tries hard to reconcile Nebula with her father. All while acting as an interstellar Robin Hood, naturally... and co-opting his foes, as the wonderful first scene demonstrates.

Chadwick Boseman is, of course, superb. T'Challa gets to be a huge hero, ending universal poverty and freeing Howard the Duck to boot. There's just the minor inconvenience, after a happy family reunion in Wakanda, that the world is going to end because the wrong Star Lord was chosen. Bummer.

Yes, this is, like all of this series, a short half hour bit of fun. But I loved it.

Captain Marvel (2019)

" If toast is cut diagonally, I can't eat it."

I should say fromthe start that I love this film, more so than most Marvel films and you can see (look at the Marvel Index) that I have a pretty damn high opinion of most of them. Partly, that's because the is a damn good blockbuster film of a science fiction nature. Partly it's the feminist message, even if it is a bit vague and "girl power" (how very '90s). Partly, though, it's because this film scratches my Marvel fan itch in a way few others have.

Let's take it as read that this works well as the first Marvel film with a female lead (rather late), and that Brie Larsen is xcellent. Let us enjoy the '90s setting, the awesome soundtrack, the impressive CGI that turns Samuel L. Jackson, with a pretty damn large part, into his '90s self with perfection. Oh, and let us briefy stop to note that, fo a Marvel zombie of my age, Captain Marvel is not Carol Danvers (Binary!), or Mar-Vell, and certainly not Billy Bloody Batson. It's Monica Rambeau. and, if you don't get that, read some '80s Avengers when Roger Stern was writing and Jim Shooter was the best boss Marvel ever had. Ah, nostalgia.

So let us, er, marvel at the tribute to Stan at the start, and then at the faithful recreation of both the Kree- we see Hala, Yon-Rogg (an excellent Jude Law), in a variation of the origin of Mar-Vell (female here, a nice touch), Dr Minerva (Gemma Chan of Humans), Captain Atlas, and of course Ronan the Accuser. But let us also enjoy the twist of the Skrulls (whose design is very Fantastic Four #2) being not only thgoodies but also just refugees, victims of the evil Kree, and not a galaxy-spanning empire.  Let us also marvel as the design of all things Kree, which is excitingly faithful to the comics.

This is right up there with the best Marvel films. Can we see Carol anvers agaon, please? And the Monica Rambeau of the present day?

Constantine (2005)

"God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He’s not planning anything.”

I know very little about John Constantine  eyond Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing. I’ve never read a single issue of Hellraiser. I’m therefore not much attached to the original material, prepared to judge this film on its own merits, and willing to overlook the fact that Constantine should be a blond Englishman.

Except... they cast Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves. On what planet is that appropriate casting? Reeves is, by all accounts, a nice bloke but it is a fact universally acknowledged that he can’t act. I’m afraid he just can’t carry a film, no matter how much spectacle or CGI we get.

And there’s another issue- sometimes a music video director turns out to be brilliant when let loose on a cinematic canvas. Here we have a music video director who has given us a two hour music video. It gets annoying after a bit.

Still, the script is quite good, and presumably very much the D.C. version of Christian mythology. It’s an arresting idea- suicide is cruelly punished in Hell, and Constantine is desperately trying to atone for a youthful suicide attempt- although certainly not one that makes God seem a nice bloke. I’m not sure which of the concepts are from the film and which not, but I like the idea of Hell having an extended version of the Bible. I love Midnite and the neutral bar, too. It’s all very Manichean.

It’s a pity, really; with a better star the film would have been pretty decent, and perhaps even spawned a sequel. But Keanu Reeves...?