Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3 (2023)

 "I was stabbed, you extraordinary phallus!"

James Gunn is back at Marvel, presumably just this one and... yeah, this was never going to not be awesome, was it? Gunn doing Guardians of the Galaxy is pretty much guaranteed to awesome. It just is. And, ironically, the success of this Marvel film, at a time when Marvel needed it, may bode well for DC.

And yet it's not based on the most promising material from the comics. Sad though Rocket's origin was, I had a reaction of pure geeky joy to see some of the other animals from that Rocket Raccoon limited series from the '80s that my eight year old self read as a back-up story in Transformers. Yet this is hardly classic Marvel material. Neither is the High Evolutionary stuff, and certainly not the Counter-Earth stories from the early '70s issues of Adam Warlock in those dark days before Jim Starlin, shown here in very 1970s fashions as a tribute..

This, then, is not promising material for a film. Yet the end result is a triumpjh. The characters, the actors, the cast, all are exquisite. The directing, too, is extraordinary, with some particularly impressive set pieces.

It's a good choice to have the High Evolutionary- Chukwudi Iwuji is superb- as an unambiguous villain, and I enjoyed the way Adam Warlock was played for laughs, and seems to join the team. And that's what it's all about, the team. Every character is likeable. Every character has depth. They are a true family. Heart, humour, awesome direction... how could this film possibly not be amazing?

The Guardians of the Galaxy: Holiday Special

 "I'm sorry! GoBots killed his cousin!"

This is one of the finest Christmas sitcom episodes- for that is what this is- that I've ever seen. It's superb. And not only for the fact that the eponymous Kevin Bacon is seen watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I like the bloke already, even if he is one of those disgusting actor folk.

The plot may be cheesy- Mantis and Drax feel sorry for Peter Quill at Christmas so they, er, kidnap Kevin Bacon, much hilarity ensues, and Mantis finally tells Peter that she's his sisater. Aww. Heartwarming. Yet the whole thing is gleefully silly, does a lot of violence to the fourth wall, and gets its humour from its well-crafted funny characters. Drax we know well, but Mantis is really fleshed out here, and she's bloody likeable.Kevin Bacon is, of course, awesome, but not as awesome as Mantis and Drax getting rat-arsed from their cosplay money in Hollywood.

Yes, the dodgy ethics of just kidnapping a Hollywood star and, you know, assaulting a few police officers is handwaved away, but why not? That's the tone.

That song about Christmas at the start is a highlight- that Santa Claus chap sounds terrifying. So is "this is human trafficking". But the whole thing is awesome. This is the greatest science fiction holiday special since 1978, despite the lack of Wookies. Plus, Groot as a Christmas tree is a perfect ending.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

 "If you don't shut up, you won't be invited to the orgy.

Right, let's just get Taika Waititi to do all the Thor films from now on, shall we? This is awesome: witty, fourth wall-breakingly funny but without crossing a certain line... and absolutely heartbreaking. Jane's death is devastating (but yay for the post-credits) as well as being the right way to end. There's a nice bit of misdirection in that we suspect Eternity's wish is going to cure her, but no. She and Thor, at last deciding to stop pushing people away, fall in love all over again... and she dies, both of cancer and in battle. At least she dies well.

There's so much coolness here. New Asgard as tourist trap. Jane Foster becoming Thor, which I understand is based on a comic story after my time. Thor's look echoing Eric Masterson, which isn't. All those narrations by Korg. Tessa Thompson as the highly relatable Valkyrie. The fact that it's self-evidently necessary to take loads and loads of beer on a heroic mission, which is unquestionably true. Even the soppy ending is both earned and cool.

But, yeah, Russel Crowe as Zeus. With a Greek accent and a thunderbolt. That is certainly something to behold.

Gorr as a villain is similarly, I suspect, from comics after my time. But Christian Bale is superb, and the character's origin is magnificently done. Gorr's visual impression is absolutely extraordinary. And the sheer, existential horror of being told by your gods that they don't care about you, your place is to suffer for them without meaning, and the afterlife is a lie... wow. That's dark.

This is, of course, like the last Thor film, a comedy. Yet it simultaneously manages to function asa superb action film while tugging most effectively at the heartstrings. Utterly splendid.

A Star Is Born (2018)

"Will you sign my boobs?"

Oh my. It's romantic comedy starring Lady Gaga and Rocket raccoon. And it's actually rather good.

Before I say much... yes, I know I have a policy of not blogging remakes before originals, but this isn't a genre I follow more than casually, so I'll make an exception here. I may eventually blog the 1937 original, I may not; I have no idea. The musicals are unlikely but, again, who knows. Suffice to say I'm aware this is a remake, and previous versions have focused on movie stardom rather than music aside from the one with Kris Kristofferson, whose acting I like but whose music I cannot stand.

Suffice to say, it works. Cooper- I understand the whole thing is his vision- is extraordinary, jarring though it is to see a man but two years older than me playing a man in personal and career decline; and lady Gaga can really, really act- and she can sing, of course, and is a rather talented individual who could achieve remarkable things if only she gets the courage to utterly disown the evil, satanic world of chart pop.

I like that this is a romance between real soulmates united by a mutual love of the songwriting process- the downtrodden dreamer Ally and Jack, the kind of country music megastar who feels perfectly comfortable surrounded by drag artists in a gay bar. Our lovers have real chemistry and their relationship seems to evolve naturally. And I like the way the world of chart pop is shown to be as evil as it is, ruining artists with autotuned stupidity and trying to control their image.Rez, as our Simon Cowell-esque evil, uncultured svengali, is the villain of the piece, going sadly uncultured. And Jack's final suicide is at once tastefully shot and utterly devastating.  A rather good film.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 (2017)

“I have sensitive nipples!”

Yes, the Guardians of the Galaxy are back. Wisely, James Gunn is also back to write and direct, and the soundtrack plays just as part a role. What we have is more of the same, which is no bad thing. This sequel may not be quite as good as the first film but it has the same humour, the same relatable characters in a very cosmic setting, and the same sense of style.

It even has a heart, with the message that men like Yondu who bother to raise children are proper fathers, whereas giant planets like Ego who bugger off to destroy all life in the universe are not. We also have a touching and hilarious romance of sorts between Drax (who gets the best lines, again: “I have famously huge turds”) and the innocent Mantis. The reconciliation between sisters Gamora and Nebula is heartwarming, and we are told the horrible truth that Thanos (Not in the film but ever- present) used to make his daughters fight and Gamora always won, and each time he would replace a part of Nebula’s body with machinery for losing- truly horrific. Baby Groot is cute. And Rocket Raccoon is everybody’s favourite arsehole.

Ego, of course, can’t always be shown as a giant planet on the screen, so Kurt Russell plays his human avatar, although we certainly get to see Ego as we know him, a living planet with a face. Mantis is as we know her from Steve Englehart. And the Stan Lee cameo is intriguing as we briefly catch him reminiscing to Uatu, suggesting that all his cameos may have seen him working undercover for the Watchers. Ego is a Celestial, apparently; they obviously look quite different in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Howard the Duck gets another cameo, played by Seth Green. And the ending seems to hint at the creation of Adam Warlock, no less.

We get a dramatic and very sad ending bringing everything to a splendid confusion, and some properly cosmic post-credit scenes. I’m glad it won’t be another three years until we see these characters again.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

"I don't believe that anybody could be 100% dick..."

I'm an old-fashioned Marvel geek in that I bought a ridiculous number of titles up until around 1994, when most of my favourite runs were winding down, Mark Gruenwald died and I started building up my record collection, which left less budgetary room for comic books. I know an awful lot about Marvel up to that point (I had a lot of back issues going way back) but I'm patchy thereafter. I do, however, remember Jim Valentino's run on Guardians of the Galaxy, a title set a thousand years on the future and with characters called things like Vance Astro and Charlie 27. This film isn't based on any of that, but a load of Marvel's cosmic characters, many of them associated with the great Jim Starlin.

We have fanwanky Marvel goodness aplenty. There is Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Raccoon(!), Ronan the Accuser, Thanos(!), a strange cyborg version of Nebula who hears no relation to the character as written by Roger Stern in The Avengers back in the mid-'80s, the Collector, the best Stan Lee cameo yet and even footage of a Celestial!

But this isn't a po-faced epic film; it's  witty, fun action film full of funny and charismatic rogues turned heroes, a cross between Star Wars and Firefly. Chris Pratt stars as Peter, a transplanted human with mysterious parentage and the Han Solo of the film. Karen Gillan disappoints vaguely as Nebula. But the best thing in it is Bradley Cooper's Rocket.

This is a superbly plotted and scripted sci-go action film with wit, action, top tuneage (we get Bowie's "Moonage Daydream" and the Runaways' "Cherry Bomb"!) and an amazingly realised space opera world with some of the best CGI I've ever seen. If you haven't seen it, do so now. It'll be on at cinemas for a good while. 

Oh, and remember, this is a Marvel film. Stay to the end.