What If... the Emergence Destroyed the Earth?

 "He has broken his oath. Again..."

Interesting episode, this. For a start, the baddie (derspite the lack of Jake Gyllenhaal) is Mysterio, our first Spider-Man villain to appear in any non-Sony related MCU thing. Also interesting is that, although the main character is Riri "Ironheart" Williams, a character from well after my time in the comics whom I don't know well, we're leaning heavily into concepts from Shang-Chi and The Eternals. This season does that a lot, which is interesting.It woukd be rather nice if those films woukld turn out to actually lead to something.

The main conceit is that the Dreaming Celestial has destroyed the Earth early, it's split into little inhanbited fragments that somehow survive, and Mysterio has taken over the Earth using illusions, his control of Stark Industries, and the while version of the Vision. Much as I love Valkyrie, Wong and Ying Nan (yes, that obscure)... yeah, the villains here are B listers. The plot is ok, based around Riri's stubborn determination, but despite a sound if bonkers central premise this is pretty average.

That predictable ending, though... yes, I know it's a cliche from the comics that the Watcher does nothing but interfere. But they're really leaning into it here.The final season, then, surely?

What If... Iron Man Crashed into the Grandmaster?

 "Take that, vile asparagus woman."

This is, quite simply, one of the best episodes of What If I've seen thus far, perhaps the best. Given the design of one of the "chariots", I think we're supposed to notice an allusion to the pod race in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. I prefer to see this as a particularly good episodfe of Wacky Races.

It's not just the simple but awesome ploty, it's the incredibly witty script. It's Jeff Goldblum's absoluteky splendid scenery chewing as the Grandmaster, a tyrant who gets a kinky thrill, after trying to cheart at the end, from the sensation of being melted. It's the fact that both Valkyrie and Gamora get some good character development that riffs on what happens in the actual films. It's the sheer horror of a grand prix that's an actual health and safety nightmare. Plus, Iron Man and Korg are one of those double acts that absolutely had to happen in some way or other.

Oh, and Mick Wingert almost convinces as Robert Downey Jr. I'm impressed. This episode will be rather hard to top.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

 "If you don't shut up, you won't be invited to the orgy.

Right, let's just get Taika Waititi to do all the Thor films from now on, shall we? This is awesome: witty, fourth wall-breakingly funny but without crossing a certain line... and absolutely heartbreaking. Jane's death is devastating (but yay for the post-credits) as well as being the right way to end. There's a nice bit of misdirection in that we suspect Eternity's wish is going to cure her, but no. She and Thor, at last deciding to stop pushing people away, fall in love all over again... and she dies, both of cancer and in battle. At least she dies well.

There's so much coolness here. New Asgard as tourist trap. Jane Foster becoming Thor, which I understand is based on a comic story after my time. Thor's look echoing Eric Masterson, which isn't. All those narrations by Korg. Tessa Thompson as the highly relatable Valkyrie. The fact that it's self-evidently necessary to take loads and loads of beer on a heroic mission, which is unquestionably true. Even the soppy ending is both earned and cool.

But, yeah, Russel Crowe as Zeus. With a Greek accent and a thunderbolt. That is certainly something to behold.

Gorr as a villain is similarly, I suspect, from comics after my time. But Christian Bale is superb, and the character's origin is magnificently done. Gorr's visual impression is absolutely extraordinary. And the sheer, existential horror of being told by your gods that they don't care about you, your place is to suffer for them without meaning, and the afterlife is a lie... wow. That's dark.

This is, of course, like the last Thor film, a comedy. Yet it simultaneously manages to function asa superb action film while tugging most effectively at the heartstrings. Utterly splendid.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

"I'm asking for safe passage through the Anus..."

Time for another Marvel film, methinks. I'm determined to get through them all.

This is an MCU film, so you won’t be surprised to read that I enjoyed it hugely. It’s not the very best effort from the increasingly indomitable fiefdom of Kevin Fiege, but it may well be the most fun. The whole thing is pitched as a comedy, and good comedy at that. It’s a departure for Thor, yes, but it works. And there’s something about Thor and his world that lends itself to this sort of thing. I hope Taika Waititi does more.

It’s good to see the post-Avengers Hulk too, with another excellent performance from Mark Ruffalo. The Hulk, rightly in my opinion, hasn’t been considered sufficiently popular as to warrant his own film since 2008, but remains a strong supporting character. It’s good as well as inevitable to see Loki, too, although the relationship between the brothers is so predictable by now that fourth wall-breaking humour is the only possible approach.

It’s brave, but absolutely right, to not only do Ragnarok and do it properly (while evacuating the population), to do it with humour rather than be bleakly depressing, and to mix it up with post-Guardians of the Galaxy cosmic hi-jinks. And Marvel, for once, give us a first class baddie with Cate Blanchett’s Hela, appearing just after Odin dies and revealing that his and Asgard's past has all been a lie; Odin was not always a wise and benevolent ruler. A less serious but highly entertaining baddie, though, is Jeff Goldblum playing superbly against his maverick scientist typecasting as Grandmaster. We even get an Doctor Strange cameo.

I realise not all Marvel films can be like this. But... can we have some more please?