The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Cardboard Box

 "Pushing women's work at me? You keep that to yourself!"

So this is it. The final episode, complete with a final philisophical and setimental coda about all the violence in the world as a parting gesture from Jeremy Brett's undoubtedly definitive Sherlock Holmes, much as health problems clearly led to much less physicality in his later years.

And the final episode is a good one, if not exactly standing comparison with the excellence that was routinely reached in earlier, better seasons. An adaptation of a fairly obscure Conan Doyle short story, it still suffers from the overly foregrounded attempts at narrative cleverness that have been too prominent of late: non-linear storytelling certainly has its place, but not here.

Nevertheless, this is a decent send off with a decent cast and a solid story, anchored by the conceit of two severed ears given as a birthday present. It is ulimately a tale of passion, social class, adultery and murder which is told well, much as the trope of the temptress who corrupts a simple man into ruin is worryingly present. This is also, however, a warning against the killjoy busybodies of the temperance movement, who could certainly all do with a drink.

So this is the end. No more Granada Sherlock Holmes. It's now clear that, despite high spots, the once superlative quality has not been so apparent as late, but the series- and the late, lamented Jeremy Brett- will be much missed.

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Mazarin Stone

 "You know my methods...

What a very odd episode, which I uppose we could dub "Holmes-lite", given that Jeremy Brett hardly appears in his penultimate episode- was this perhaps forced upon the prosuction team by Brett's health?

It's also odd that this is a mash-up of two diparate Conan Doyle short stories- the less than classic The Mazarin Stone and the far more intriguing The Three Garridebs- with one allocated to Watson and the other allocated to a Mycroft Holmes who is drifting further and further from his Diogenes Club personality. It's good to see Charles Gray again, of course, but this simply doesn't work, especially as both stories are tied together at the end. This sort of thing is a far cry from the original mission statement of adapting all the stories.

There's also that syndrome again of directorial touches that are in practice meaningless and simply don't fit into an ITV detective show. This is an episode which simply fails. Without Brett, they should simply have made one less episode.

I really hope the final episode is a good one.

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Red Circle

 "Please vanish, both of you!"

Two superb episodes in a row: that's more like it. It looks as though there's hope for this final series after all.

I fear I recall little of the short story, but this is a nice little stiry about a very thinly veiled Mafia which manages to handle the tension well and to generate real fear. Never has the Granada Sherlock Holmes felt so much like The Godfather, but this is well written, and extremely well shot too.

Not only that, though- the cast is extraordinary. John Hallam makes an excellent villain, but it's truly delightful to see the lovely and talented Betty Marsden, as well as Kenneth Connor, both in straight roles- although sadly, for Connor, a posthumous one.

Yes, I know I've been critical in the past of adaptations of stories which are not really whodunits, or end up as something else following the adaptation. Yet The Red Circle, while abandoning all pretence of being a whodunit halfway through, still contains a gnuine mystery, and the shift to more of a suspenseful action thriller is, for once, handled well.

It's a nicely subtle ending, too: for once Holmes can't override the law and prevent a man ho acted in self-defence from being arressted for murder, even if we know damn well he will be acquitted.

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Golden Pince-Nez

 "May I shake your hand, Sir?"

"What? If you must."

Now that's more like it. This is the first solid episode in ages from the once-dependable Granada Sherlock Holmes. After a few episodes that were, essentially, not whodunits, at last we get an adaptation of a solid Conan Doyle murder mystery with a genuinely surprising and unpredictable twist. This may not be a highlight of the series, but it's an enormous relief to encounter an episode like this. Let's hope it represents an overdue return to form for the final stretch.

This is a broadly faithful adaptation, with the changes making sense with the casting- and the cast is truly excellent. The episode is notably missing Edward Hardwicke as Watson, of course, but it just about works having the superb but noticeably older Charles Gray return as Mycroft. The interplay between the two brothers is fascinating- Holmes archly notes that it os "ironic" that their late father left his magnifying glass to the sedentary Mycroft, although there's just about enough sleight of hand to excuse his not being so sedentary here.

There's a nice little red herring with Suffragettes too, and some wry social commentary on Edwardian attitudes to female suffrage, which Mycrofy is very much seen to share. The opening and concluding scenes with nihilists in Russia in the 1880s are well done, too- shades of the assassination of Tsar Alexander II.

Please let this not be the last good episode...

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Dying Detective

 "Mr Holmes, you are the very worst tenant in London!"

Sigh. This second episode is better than the first. Jeremy Brett is, of course, superb as the strangely indifferent and, eventually, ill Holmes- or seemingly so. The cast is unusually strong, even if a very young Hugh Bonneville is going by "Richard" here. Roy Hudd is delightful as a ne'er-do-well. It all looks very good. And yet... it's all fundamentally misconceived.

The Dying Detective works well as a short story, but the short stoty works only because it essentially consists of what we see as the final scenes here, as Holmes pretends to be dying so the gullible Culverton Smith can, like a Bond villain, confess. To fit a fifty minute episode we need to have a long, awkward, preambe to establish the context. This is unfortunate, and not only because the denoument becomes rather obvious if we understand what has led up to it. Holmes behaviour, too, in refusing to suspect Culverton Smith (until he does) feels awkward and too blatantly plot driven. It's odd, too, that he would take up the case of yet another opium addict husband; the apparent encouragement of hs cousin would not make the case sufficiently interesting.

As a result, the episode may be well-made but fundamentally doesn't work. The short story needs to be a short vignette in order to work. Expanding it to a full fifty minute episode simply doesn't work.

Still, I'm glad they kept in Homes' apparent fear of oysters...

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Three Gables

 "Is murder a woman’s secret...?”

Oh dear. After the mainly not very good overlong specials I was hoping for a return to the good stuff now that we're back to the proper length episodes. Alas, on the evidence of this episode, I have every reason to be concerned about what the rest of the series may bring. This really is the most appallingly muddled and messy script I've ever seen from the Granada Sherlock Holmes. 

There's only really one plus point- the splendid performance of the then ninety-six year old Mary Ellis in her final acting role before her death... aged 105. Otherwise, this is dross. Admittedly the original Conan Doyle short story was hardly one of the best (this is one of those stories described as "drivel" by Nicholas Meyer in The Seven-Per-Cent Solution. Yet the changes made here, and the padding out to include a wasted Peter Wyngarde as a pointless gossip-monger, are pointless, yet the treatment of the character of Steve Dixie faithfully translates the casual racism of the original, reminding us that Conan Doyle, while progressive on racial matters in The Yellow Face, was nevertheless a man of his time. I'm less inclined to excuse the use of the character here, though, in 1994, with no thought seemingly given to the issue.

Essentially, this episode is a mess, incoherent and giving very little for Brett to do. Please let the rest of the series not be like this.

The Eligible Bachelor (1993 TV Film)

 "Dull, dull, dull!

Well, at least this isn't as bad as The Last Vampyre. But it's pretty bad, nevertheless. I'm well and truly glad to have put these three long, pretentious specials behind me.

There are some redeeming features, I suppose. I'm not sure departures from Conan Doyle are quite the thing for a series originally predicated on doing no such thing, and the plot twsts don't exactly arrive through deduction, but the departures from Conan Doyle's The Noble Bachelor (with a pinch of The Veiled Lodger) are clever and well thought-out, Simon Williams is excellent as Lord St Simon and it works well to have the character ultimately revealed to be a bounder and a cad, who had his first (rich) wife killed and his second declared insane. It's a shocking revelation, and his confrontational scenes with Hetty cleverly reveal him as an abuser, charming but frighteningly good at gaslighting, asking "What have you made me do?" as he tries to throttle her.

Yet that isn't enough. This film is interminably long, with Lord St Simon not even engaging Holmes on the case until we're forty minutes in. And the direction, while arty and well done, is meaningless and pointless as the artistry isn't really saying anything. It's good to see Holmes in one of his depressive, drug-addled phases (bipolar?), but it's dwelt on far too long, with the trippiness just a retread of the far less pretentious The Devil's Foot and the nonsense about precognitive dreams being utterly unsuitable for both the character and the series.

I really hope the final six, proper length, episodes are better than this.

The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: The Illustrious Client

 "You go your way. Let me go mine."

This is one of those rare Sherlock Holmes stories which are not whodunits at all. A fairly late short story, it is perhaps surprising that Granada should have adapted this most unusual tale ahead of others. But here we are.

This is a well-made piece of television with some strong performances. It's just odd that the plot concerns an attempt to prevent a naive young lasy from marrying one Baron Gruner- a bounder, a cad and a foreigner to boot- who has numerous crimes, including murder, in his past, and "collects" women to abuse. He's a deeply disturbing and loathsome individual, and t's instructive to hear Conan Doyle's dialogue explaining gaslighting before the term was coined.

This is a thriller, not a murder mystery, and feels intended as an adaptation of a piece of classic literature to a greater extent than is usually the case even with Granada. Nevertheless, it works, and gives the ever-sublime Jeremy Brett the chance to play different angles as Holmes while Anthony Valentine twirls his moustache with aplomb. Surprisingly decent, but I wouldn't hope to see too much more in this vein.

The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: Shoscombe Old Place

 "You're not the only one that likes a plunge on the horses from time to time, Doctor."

This is an interesting episode, based on the last ever Sherlock Holmes story ever written by Conan Doyle on the one hand (penned in 1927, three years before he died) on the one hand, and featuring a very young Jude Law on the other, long before his days of Hollywood stardom.

It's a decent story, faithfully and expertly told. Yet the episode fails to catch fire, in spite of the satisfying conclusion where we learn of the nature of Sir Robert's deception, his debts and the troublesome moneylender being but a massive red herring. Perhaps it's because it's a little too obvious that the lady in the carriage is keeping "her" face hidden and may not be Lady Beatrice, but this was always going to be difficult to hide in any translation of this story from print to screen. No: I think it's simply that the guest cast, while never committing any acting sins, simply lacks presence and charisma. We can't depend on young Jude for that; he's probably still in sixth form.

Jeremy Brett, it must be said, is as excellent here as ever, but he seems to look older, frailer and, may I say, podgier with every passing episode. If it was, indeed, the part of Holmes that was to kill him, the process of this happening may already be quite visible.

The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Bruce Partington Plans

 "All the Queen's horses and all the Queen's men cannot avail us in this matter."

This is the final episode in the guise of The Return of Sherlock Holmes; sees the return of Charles Gray as Mycroft; and is one of the finest episodes thus far, after a couple that were perhaps a little below par. It's a fitting end to the eighties for the regular episodes.

Brett and Hardwicke are very much on form, with plenty of character moments, and the deduction in this episode is first class- the way Holmes sees the significance of the points, and what they mean for Cadogan West's place of death, is an extraordinary sequence. We also have some superb guest actors, not least of which is Catweazle himself.

It's also exciting, especally at the end, so see Sherlock Holmes straying into spy territory. It's also interesting to see how Mycroft is far more important within the Civil Service than we had previously been told, beng a kind of proto-Cabinet Secretary. This is an appalingly small Civil Service, too, with "clerks" being given what seem like senior responsibilities. On the other hand, "junior clerk" Cadogan West appears to be paid rather well, so some Victorian values are certainly worth emulating. It's also instructive that MI5 does not yet exist, so Inspector Bradstreet is called in.

Diversions aside, though, this is a truly fine episode.

The Sign of Four (1987 TV Film)

 "Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains- however improbable- must be the truth."

This is the first feature length episode of the variously titled '80s ITV Sherlock Holmes starring Jeremy Brett, and the first of Conan Doyle's novels to be adapted. It certainly feels like a big event: with a strong cast- John Thaw is superb as Jonathan Small despite his accent being all over the place- and some truly luscious location filming for the scenes in India told in flashback at the end.

It is, as usual, a rather faithful adaptation- and, of course, an adaptation of only the second Sherlock Holmes story, before Conan Doyle had quite found his style. Hence, while there are momens of decuction, the whole thing feels more of an adventure story, with more weight on Smalls story than the usual format would prescribe- echoing A Study in Scarlet, with its lengthy postscript in Utah which I skipped, any you probably did too.

There's a little vague racism in the original, inevitably for a novel published in 1890. At least this adaptation discreetly corrects the name "Mahomet Singh", although the use of a rubber mask for Kiran Shah playing Smalls diminuitive Andaman Islander friend, despite the lack of screen tim, is excruciating, and could not be shown today. Then there's Emrys Jones and his comedy Welshman...

It's amusing to see such early Holmes tropes as the Baker Street Irregulars, and that Watson's marriage to Mary Morstan is downplayed. Yet the whole thing is sumptuously shot and made, the cast is superb and, as ever, Brett is superlative.

The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Priory School

 "You have given me back my future..."

Another splendid episode here, with a more or less faithful adaptation of the story filmed in the glorious surroundings of the Derbyshire Dales where the Midlands meets the North, and partly filmed in Chatsworth House itself.

It should be a commonplace by now to point out that Jeremy Brett is sublime, but this episode gives him more opportunities than usual to enjoy himself with Homes' many physical and verbal mannerisms that his performance made definitive. edward Hardwick excels too, though in a slightly reduced role. It's always good to see Christopher Benjamin, too.

The story, as with Doyle's original, is an entertaining one, although it is further than most Sherlock Holmes stories from fulfilling the rules of detective fiction which did not then exist. Could there be, perhaps, in the story of the Duke's family originating as cattle thieves, a little light mockery of the whole aristocratic principle on the part of the good Dr Doyle? I ought to re-read the short story and see. But this, as an adaptation, is pretty much faultless. Right now, they bloody well all are..,

The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Man with the Twisted Lip

 "I sometimes wonder whether men ever really, truly grow up."

This is another superb episode, again a rather faithful adaptation which, if we can forgive Conan Doyle for perpetuating the myth of the wealthy professional beggar, is a rather clever and well-structured little mystery- unless one happens to guess the twist upon which all depends.

I hadn't noticed untill watching this adaptation that the opening sequence, with Watson helping poor Mrs Whitney with her opium addict husband, perfectly mirrors what turns out to be the case with Mrs St Clair and her own, less obviously errant husband. That's a clever piece of foreshadowing, and there's a very interesting theme of long-suffereig, responsible wives and their immature and selfish husbands. I'm not used to seeing such a clear subtext. And I trust that Conan Doyle, writing this in the 1890s, was not intentionally propagating the myth that there are professional beggars who can genuinely sustain a wealthy lifestyle.

The narrative being partly in flashback sadly reduces the screen ime a little for Jeremy Brett, who is as superlative as ever, but Edwardd Hardwicke certainly has the presence to carry scenes on his own. It's great to see the wonderful Denis Lill as Inspector Bradstreet, and Clive Francis is incredible.

So here we have yet another excellent episode. Surely we're due a dud at some point?

The Return of Sherlock Holmes: Series 1- The Empty House

 "Thank you.... Doctor... Watson..."

Well, that was a wholly enjoyable, and somewhat faithful adaptation of The Empty House. It helps, of course, that Edward Hardwicke makes a much more charismatic and believable Watson than the rather flat David Burke. But Jeremy Brett is spellbinding as ever, and the script and production sparkle.

It's an interesting cast, too, featuring a cameo by James Bree giving an extraordinarily mannered performance as the coroner which calls to mind his role as The War Chief in Doctor Who. And Colonel Moran is played superbly by the magnificently voiced Patrick Allen- known to his enemies, and The Black Adder fans, as "The Hawk".

The episode nicely fits in a proper whodunit with Watson- now assisting Lestrade as a police surgeon and making endearing but not always correct attempts at Holmesian deductions: the coroner is, as it happens, correct to chide him for his assumptions. Yet the moment of Holmes' return is wonderful- arsehole though he is for teasing Watson and making hin faint. The explanation of Holmes'survival is both plausible (it contradicts the final shot of The Final Problem but we can, I suppose, see that as Watson's imaginings) and givs a decent reason for why Holmes should have played dead for three years.

This is an extremely strong opener. Yet I'm looking forward to more straight whodunits crammed with character actors.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: Series 2- The Final Problem

 "You have less frontal development than I should have expected..."

This episode is, like the short story to which it is almost entirely faithful except for the detail of having Moriarty behind The Red Headed League, completely unlike any other instalment. There is no mystery, no whodunit; this is an entirely different genre as Holmes is close to nailing Moriarty so he and Watson must flee to the Continent. 

I’m no fan of the short story, so it says quite something that I very much enjoyed this episode. The wonderful visuals- particularly the location filming in what I assume must be Switzerland and the actual Reichenbach Falls- are a huge part of this, of course. So are the magnificent performances of Jeremy Brett and Eric Porter. Their initial confrontation scene in Baker Street is mesmerising.

The case in France from the short story is also expanded to concern the theft of the Mona Lisa, which adds an extra element of fun, with Holmes finding a parallel in a skilled copyist of Old Masters- and is that J.P. Morgan to whom Moriarty was about to sell the forgery? 

It’s a fitting end to the first iteration of ITV’s version of Sherlock Holmes. Fortunately, though, it will continue in other titles, with a less wooden Watson than David Burke. And, as I have access to them all, I shall go on and onto the end...

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: Series 2- The Resident Patient

"I don't suppose you've read my monograph on cigars and cigar ash?"

Yes, you guessed it; another brilliant episode, superbly acted as ever, with a genuinely surprising twist although, of course, the Russian count was always more than a little suspicious. John Ringham deserves particular praise as this week's Inspector.

There's a striking opening, too, as Mr. Blessington has a surreal nightmare about finding his own body in a coffin. In hindsight, this is our first clue that his past misdeeds may be catching up with him. His mysterious behaviour is, we eventually learn, essentially his way of laundering the money from his criminal past, but sponsoring the career of a promising yet impecunious youth is certainly not a bad way to invest money.

The revelation is satisfying, and gives us a splendid opportunity to see Holmes do what he does best. Even if there's a convenient piece of karma required at the end.

And... that's it for a while. I've been recording these off ITV Encore and, I fear, a recording clashed and failed to record The Red-Headed League. But I will continue this little marathon as soon as I can...

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: Series 1- The Norwood Builder

"All my instincts are one way and all the facts are the other."

A superb mystery this episode, with Holmes slower on the uptake than usual. It's also the perfect introduction to the perennial Inspector Lestrade, with a battle of wits between them shaping the whole story. The device of having the main suspect for the crime be Holmes' client is a superb one. As is the gradual revelation that the "victim" was not murdered, but simply wanted to have a man hanged just because the man's mother once rejected him.

This one makes you feel clever as a viewer; I admit I may have remembered Conan Doyle's original short story, but I guessed what was going on before Holmes did. Watson, too, plays a genuinely useful investigative role here. And the revelation at the end is truly dramatic and entertaining. I'm genuinely struggling to find a bad episode.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: Series 1- The Blue Carbuncle

"Mr. Holmes, the goose! The goose, Mr. Holmes!"

"Well, what of it, man? Has it come back to life and flapped through the kitchen window?"

A splendid Christmas episode here, with geese, snow, some first class dialogue and, best of all, Ken Campbell.

A famous jewel has been stolen and an innocent man arrested, while there seems to be an awful lot of commotion about a goose. These two plot threads dovetail spectacularly as Holmes gives us a fine example of his deductive powers and the episode ends up giving us plenty of Christmas cheer as an innocent man is freed and Holmes discreetly let's the culprit off just because it's Christmas. He may be a cold fish but no Scrooge he.

The most fun part is probably Holmes' analysis of Henry Baker's hat, but this is a particularly fine episode throughout. A fine conclusion to a fine first series. Roll on series two.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: Series 1- The Speckled Band

"You scoundrel, Sir! I've heard of you before. You are Holmes the meddler. Holmes the busybody. Holmes the Scotland Yard jack-in-office!"

We get a variation of the trope here. Holmes is visited by a young woman living in a big house that is being terrorised by a bounder and a cad acting as patriarch, yes, but this time she's the step-daughter and not, as is more usual, a governess. The villain revels in the splendidly dastardly name of Dr. Grimesby Roylott, and is plotting to kill his step-daughter for her inheritance. With a snake, naturally.

This episode ticks all the usual splendid boxes, with some suitably Holmesian dialogue for Jeremy Brett to deliver as only he can. And Holmes handles the case superbly, with rather more actual deductive ability that he showed last episode. Not bad for a case which begins at such an ungodly hour.

And, of course, beneath it all is the awful position of the unmarried young Victorian women at the mercy of such horrid patriarchs as this. No wonder so many of them seek Holmes' help.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: Series 1- The Solitary Cyclist

"Did I really do remarkably badly?"

"Yes."

The first example of a big Sherlock Holmes trope debuts this episodes, as a young governess in a strange big house seeks Holmes' services. We'll be seeing a lot more of this sort of thing. But here we have a splendid tale of bicycles, silly disguises, lechery, forced marriage and South African skulduggery. Woodley, a true blackguard, is given a South African accent to show how nasty he is; it is 1984, after all, and apartheid is still practised.

The second best bit is when Holmes sends Watson off on a little mission and then bollocks him for his lack of observation although, of course, Watson's hunch eventually proves to be part of the solution. But the real best bit, of course, is the most Victorian bar brawl ever, with Holmes duffing up a "ruffian" whilst loudly proclaiming throughout that he is fighting like a "gentlemen". Naturally it ends in a round of applause...

It's another first class bit of telly from a series that hasn't had a misfire since A Scandal in Bohemia. The series is only four episodes in, but has felt fully formed for at least three. Superb.