Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Lesbian Vampire Killers (2008)

“Bottoms up!”

“Cocks in!”

The critics really didn’t like this movie. My expectations were therefore not all that high at the start. Added to this, I’m sort of on the fence in that I sort of like James Corden – I think he’s quite funny and a good actor, hence his regular straight roles in TV and theatre- but I’m no fan of Matthew Horne. But, you know what? I’m not saying that this is the greatest film ever made, but it isn’t the worst either. Perhaps it’s partly because I came to this film having had to abandon another film half way through because of rubbishness (no names mentioned yet), but there’s nowt wrong with this.

Quite sensibly, the film structures itself around some silliness in the style of late Hammer Horror vampire films, complete with clichéd plot and the regulation lesbian vampires. We all know what to expect from this sort of thing, so the film can proceed to milk humour out of putting characters in this situation and respond knowingly to the clichés in a nicely metatextual way. Hence, Fletch doesn’t really give a monkeys about the fact that the lesbian vampires are going to completely destroy everything; he’d rather have some fun with some rather attractive ladies and make the sort of comments that the viewers are making to each other about the delightful sweariness of Paul McGann’s Scouse vicar and the clichés that abound.

Fletch is the character who makes the film work; I found Jimmy a little wooden and the squadron of girls are just there to look sexy. They’re good to look at though, and it’s good to hear “I like you so much better when you’re naked” by Ida Maria. I loved that song when it came out but I’d forgotten about it!

The best thing about the film is the climax, with the condom “holy water” balloons and other such silliness. My favourite moment in the whole film is when Fletch points out to the Vicar that everybody knows how to kill vampires because of pop culture and that. This may not be the best film ever made, but it’s unfairly maligned.

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