Breaking Bad: Ozymandias

 "What the hell is wrong with you? We're family!"

Having started my blog on this brutal and almost perfect piece of television, about how a man once lord of all he surveys who finds it all crumble to dust among the sands, with the above quote, I'll also now do something unusual and quote in full the eponymous poem from Percy Bysshe "the missus wrote Frankenstein" Shelley:

"I met a traveller from an antique land,

Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal, these words appear:

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.” 

It's all so very apt, is it not?

It all falls apart. We begin with an opening scene from the old days, when Jesse and Walt were friends and Heisenberg was not a thing. But the ghosts of the past fade away to be replaced by the intensity of the present, as Walt- not Heisenberg, perhaps for the last time- pleads for Hank's life, yet Hank is the alpha male even in death, as Walt is humiliated by Jack and his gang of white supremacist scum. He is no longer the kingpin, forced to run away. The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Things get even more intense as Marie goes on the warpath, thinking Hank has Walt just where he ewant him... and forces Marie to tell Flynn the truth, in deeply painful scenes. Flynn's reaction- like R.J. Mitte's acting- is very real. He's just a teenage boy, young and naive. His parents are not who he thought they were, and his world falls apart. The lone and level sands stretch far away.

And then we have the intensity of the final scenes, the altercation between Walt and Skyler with a knife as an appalled Flynn calls the police on his father. And Walt's phone call to Skyler- with police listening in- is classic abusive spouse. He's lost the plot- and helped Skyler inadvertently by making her collaboration seem like coercive control.

Then there's Jesse, having a very bad day. He dodges being killed only to be forced to work as a meth slave to stop his girlfriend and stepson being killed. Ouch.

Everything has changed. No one is safe. Nothing is sacred. Two episodes left. Walt has lost everything, and even been rejected by his baby daughter. Ouch. As a dad, this hits home.

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Bedazzled (1967)

 "Good evening. I couldn't help noticing that you were making an unsuccessful suicide bid."

Peter Cook, possibly the funniest man who ever lived, had a glorious, if not always consistent, career. His personal problems, particularly with too much booze, meant he was never quite as prolific as we, his fans, would have liked. But everything he did touch turned to comedy gold.

Except, largely, in the sphere of cinema. It's a huge relief, then, that Bedazzled is one film at least (The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer is another) in which he gets the starring role and gets to showcase his talents playing the Devil, no less.

This is almost, but not quite, a portmaneau comedy in which Dudey Moore gets given seven wishes by the delightfully slippery Satan in which he tries to find happiness with the woman he loves, but there's always a devilishly clever catch that ruins everything. Yes, some material is recycled from sketches from Not Only... But Also, but who cares? Certainly not the BBC, who bloody junked most of it. And I don't care how gratuitous the Raquel Welch cameo may be, or how cheeky it may be to give her such high billing for five minutes.

The dialogue sparkles with wit and hilarity, and the central dynamic of Pete 'n' Dud shines throughout. This is one of the real greats of comedy cinema- too coherent to be a portmanteau, cleverly and hilariously scripted, well made and cinematic in scope while remembering that its purpose is first and foremost to be very, very funny. And it bloody well is.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

 "Gods don't have to choose. We take."

SPOILERS.

I've been waiting to see this film for a while, and it's a relief to have finally seen it. It is, after all, clearly quite big in being the first film (although Loki got there first, I believe) to establish ther multiverse. And it's bloody good.

For a film that literally links all the Sony Spider-Men and baddies to the MCU, quite an undertaking, this is a deeply witty and enjoyable film, chock full of actors, although they may have aged a bit. Alfred Molina has aged somewhat, but that's mitigated by the reaction of Peter, MJ and Ned to the name "Otto Octavius". Yet Jamie Foxx and Willem Defoe are awesome in their own right.

Tobey Maguire, though, and Andrew Garfield, deserve as much praise as Tom Holland and- indeed- Benedict Cumberbatch, who has conceded the title of Sorcerer Supreme to Wong by means of being dead for five years. That'll do it.

Despite the multiversal shenanigans, though, this is all about the characters. Spidey's reaction to May's death is heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as the fact that the conclusion has to revolve around everyone- including MJ- forgetting Peter. Ouch.

Yet, alongside the tragedy, and the blealk ending of everyone forgetting who Peter ids, threre's humour, which is very Spider-Man. And, while the late Aunt May is much nicer and much more relatable than in the comics, there's also J. Jonah Jameson, played superbly by J.K. Simmons, being a total ***. He's the real villain.

Yes, this probably won't stand up well to repeated viewings. But I love it.

All this and Matt Murdoch. So all them series are canon?

The Sandman: Sleep of the Just

 "We begin in the waking world, which humanity insists on calling the real world..."

For once I manage to blog the first episode of a hot new streaming serial on the day of its release- yay me. Even better, it's Sandman. I haven't read all of the sixty-odd issues of Neil Gaiman's late '80s masterpiece, thick with meaning, literary allusion and proper '80s goth aesthetic, but I've read enough of the early issues to cover all of this first season which, I understand, covers the first two arcs. And it does so magnificently. Gaiman has a previous triumph under his belt in terms of transferring a print masterpiece to screen magnigicently with Good Omens. He's only bloody gone and done it again.

This first episode looks sumptuous, and the casting is triumphant. Tom Sturridge seems born to play Dream, helmet perfectly realised. Charles Dance as the Magus is a captivating villain, for Dream literally so. I'm not sure the chronology quite works (Dream is captured in 1916 when young Alex is a child, but Alex and his partner Paul are both still alive when Dream is (quite magnificently) freed after "more than a century" of captivity?), but the epic tale of Dream's capture and eventual escape is gripping telly, not only because of the concepts but the very real characters and their nicely drawn relationships- Rodericks cruelty to second son Alex after his first son dies at Gallipolli, or Ethel's fury towards the man who dares presume to decide whether or not she will keep her baby.

The Corinthian is a deeply disturbing villain, an escaped nightmare who seems to take the eyes of his victims, but many of these characters we shall see grow and grow in this questlike, epic and- yes- dreamlike piece of brilliance.

The Green Hornet, Episode 10: Bullets and Ballots

 "They are repeaters!"

Another episode and, after briefly pausing to resolve the cliffhanger, another racket: this time stuffing ballot boxes in order to rig an election, just like Donald Trump and his fellow vote riggers in today's USA, although their methods are of course quite different, more insidious, and more blaantly racist. Indeed it is, er, the land of the free.

This vote rigging, though, is very 1940, with the "repeaters" (very odd word, but Britt uses it in a newspaper headline so presumably it was current) driving around in cars with their hats and their guns, like a vote rigging Al Capone. It's all good fun.

And then the Green Hornet is driving a long a cliff edge and is blown off it. Bet they re-edit that a bit next episode.

This is all, as ever, just a succession of plotless set pieces. But what set pieces they are...

Pistol- Track 6: Who Killed Bambi?"

 "We'll always have Huddersfield..."

It's perfect, after all the distressing events of the episode, to finish with the Pistols' benefit gig, on Christmas Day 1977, for the children of desperate striking firefighters. Despite all else that happens, it's a moment of strange innocence, with even Sid being kind to children and John showing his moral side, much like his refusal to have anything to do with that *** Ronnie Biggs.

All else is tragedy. Sid and Nancy, two damaged and co-dependent kids who were just kids, really, meet their horribly tragic demises. Malcolm shows himself to be an inhuman ***, both ij the opening scene and in how his cynical manipularion leads to such tragedy. Punk has no need for svengalis: it's about how ANYONE, with just three chords, can write good songs, rule the world and mean something far more significant than all that Situationist fatuosity.

It's right, and meaningful, that Sid's death should be counterbalanced by Chrissie's deserved success. It's also nice to have that well-written final conversation between Steve- the protagonist here- and John, about the cynicism of Malcolm and how John need not bear that burden of all that stupid Catholic guilt about Sid.

Malcolm is the true villain here.Should Hell somehow exist, let him rot in it. Sid and Nancy (Rockets Redglare killed her) were such children. They're all so bloody young. Heroin and cutting yourself is not rock 'n' roll.

The Pistols gave us such incredible music, musi that I love. But at what price? And how many died for it? Is art worth the suffering?

That is, I suppose, the perennial question. We are, I hope, well past the age of glamourising death and mental illness in the name of rock 'n' roll. But we can't deny its worth as art. Still, is it worth it?

Danny Boyle, you have created a serious work of art from a subject matter that needed it. Thank you.

Breaking Bad: To'hajilee

 "Don't drink and drive. But, if you do, call me."

Wow. This is one of the most intricately plotted episodes of television I've ever seen, with all the interlocking pieces of the elegantly structured plot balanced out perfectly as we see the intertwining of two intertwining yet opposing plans- one from Walt, the other from Hank and Jesse- in a zero sum game in which they try and destroy each other...

Yet we end with a chaotic shootout which neither side wanted and neither side can control, ending in the ultimate cliffhanger. Will Hank survive? His emotional last phone call to Marie is ominous. There's no status quo now. No one is safe. Walt is dying, it's just a question of how soon, and desperate. And the acting is, of course, as superlative as the writing (and directing, much artier this week), with Cranston, Paul and Norris worthy of particularly high praise.

Yet there are also signs of things breaking down for poor Lydia without Walt, whose absence is crashing the quality of meth with uneducated criminals taking the place of a first class chemist. Things fall apart everywhere. No centre, it seems, can hold. The last fifteen minutes, certainly, show is that we are now approaching the end, and anything can happen.

Breaking Bad is better than ever. Also, it's very nearly over...

Loki: The Variant

 "Luckily, he believes in himself enough for both of us..."

This second episode has me fascinated. The whole concept of this limited series is suoerb. We take a variant Loki from an already-established divergent timeline and plonk him into the TVA, a concept of Walt Simonson's where everyone (just Owen Wilson here) looks just like the late Mark Gruenwald, which is so well-established here, as a 1960s office environment rather less glamorous than Mad Men.

Thus we have philosophical, timey-wimey issues of coolness. We get fascinating, abstracxt conversations between Loki and Mobius about predestination and free will. We, like Loki, are left wondering what is the bacstory behind the Time Keepersa. Even more, we non-Amewricans are left wondering about, like, what the hell is this Rennaissance Fayre insanity?

But it's all about the variant, a veraion of Loki who seems badass. And Loki's own mor=tives. What are they? Everybody's playing thirty-seven dimensional chess, and I love it.

Also, Loki is pretty damn good at paperwork!

Dad's Army (1971)

 "And I must ask you to keep your hands off my privates...".

Obviously, this film isn't ever going to be as funny as the TV programme, which I'll prpbably never blog, fuzzy thoiugh my principle of never blogging sitcoms may be. Films, being directed differently and, in this era, on film instead of video, are not directed for comic effect in the same way as a contemporary sitcom episode.

Despite this, the film is bloody funny.

A lot of this is, of course, down to all the familiar characters, well-established by 1971. The opening scenes establish this so well, as Mainwaring walks to the bank in the morning and greets the townsfolk.

It's amazing to ponder that 1971 was fifty-one years ago, and that old people at that time- such as John Laurie and Arnold Ridley- would have been born in the century of Victoria. The cast is superb, as much as the script, as ever with Dad's Army, is the best kind of farce, entirely based on well-developed character.

Yet this is, too, a fascinating historical document, chronicling the events of 1940 through ordinary people. And the ending- where Mainwaring is a genuine, bona fide hero- is both superb and something we'd never see on telly. Mainwaring may be a pompous ass, but he's no coward and, indeed, as brave as any western hero. Such is the complexity of life.

I love the constant comical friction with Bernard Archard's general. I love that this is a rather well done origin story. I love the whole bloody thing. Cinematic versions of sitcoms didn't often succeed in this era. But this certainly does.

The Green Hornet, Episode 9: The Hornet Trapped

 "You're a rotten shot, Michael!"

And so we continue, seemingly no closer to the end, but this time with the focus not so much on the racketeers- although Lynch is killed, after leaving evidence in a waste paper basket after drawing a picture of a waste paper basket for Britt Reid to fing, which, er, makes no sense- but on the continuing hunt for the Hornet.

And so we end up with an exciting but fast conclusion, following a strangely slow episode,in which everyone- including Reid!- sets out to find the Hornet. It's all very exciting, and in no well feels like the pllot doggy-paddling it assuredly is at this point because the set pieces, this being a movie serial, remain splendid.

This is also a rare glimpse into how Britt Reid must get very few hours sleep per night, with his double life. He ought towatch it. Thatcher famously needed only four hours per night, and I understand this is considered the reason for her dementia. Lack of sleep in healthy neither for superheroes nor milk snatchers.

The Green Hornet, Episode 8: Dead or Alive

 "They made me blame it on you!"

This is more of the same, naturally, and another racket: tuis time a dry cleaning protection racket. There are more set pieces and, naturally, the plot won't progress until we get much closer to the end.

There's a twist, though, with the Green Hornet, always considered a criminal, this time being crudely framed for murder and with no one doubting his guilt. Both the police- really, this time- and the racketeers are after him. I hope this gets carried forward.

Gordon Jones really is excellent, his stentorian tones doing the trick very well indeed both as Britt Reid and the Hornet. It has to be said, too, that the acting, like everything, is very much above average for a movie serial.

We end, of course, with a random explosion. What else?

The Boys: The Instant White-Hot Wild

 "My cake hole will remain open!"

This is such a The Boys season finale. There's lots of fighting. There's lots of characters, and lots of character development. So much happens. Deep breath.

Homelander wins, the bastard. He has his son, and ends up as pretty much openly fascist. Billy Burcher loses, with a yrest to live after using Temp V, and having turned against Soldier Boy to save the son who isn't even his son by blood but by love- the opposite of Soldier Boy and Homelander, both products of a cycle of abuse, that seems to be spreading to Ryan. The look on his face at the Trump-Nazi rally is chilling.

Incidentally, any Americans reading this who support Trump, or the Republican party, you're not conservatives, you're Nazis, ok? Kindly *** yourselves. Thank you.

Maevew, the only supe (Annie aside, and yes; they're both women) not to be corrupted by her powers, gets a heroic death and gets to live, sans powers if sadly also sans eye, but her ex is back with her. I think, overall, she has her well-deserved happiness.

The Deep is... ever more tragic and pathetic. MM is a decent man worthy of respect, who loves his daughter and shows the dad he can be, a shining ecxample to all of us who love our little girls so much it hurts. Kimiko and Frenchie are the cutest couple ever. And Annie gets a supremely satisfying ending, loved and worshipped by Hughie and discarding her costume to join the Boys.

And yeah, Black Noir. His death. As Oscar Wilde said of Little Nell, you'd need a heart of stone not to laugh.

Pistol- Track 5: Nancy and Sid

 "This isn't love. This is appetite. They'll eat him."

And suddenly it all steps upma gear, intothe oenultimate act of what is ultimately a tragedy. Both Sid and Nancy- who we meet for the first time, played truly superbly by Emma Appleton- are, in a way, naive, innocent and so, so young. We get hints of how Nancy has never known love or kindness, of her schizophrenia. We learn that Sid was given some heroin as a birthday present by his mother at fourteen. Wow. Neither of them stand any chance whatsoever. They're co-dependent, self-destructive and doomed to die stupidly young. None of this is ***ing romantic, and rightly isn't played as such. 

Meanwhile, the drama of the Sex Pistols continues, with all Danny Boyle's usual touches of '70s context. The '77 Jubilee seems much scarier than the one last gone, far more conformist. Richard Branson looks so bloody young. And at the centre of it all is everyman Steve, whose stepdad is still a child molesting ***, and who has come from nothing to writing a Number One single.

Then there's Chrissie- a nice person, a grown-up, who bonds with Nancy despite herself. Who realises she needs to develop her talent. Yet Steve has faith in her. The understated love between the two of them is, perhaps, more real than that of Nancy and Sid, the poor kids. And the media are total ***s throughout, as they were in real life.

This is more than good. It's tastefully provocative, and threads the needle very well. It tells the truth; that these were two young victims who fell through the cracks of a society without an adequate safety net. God help their equivalents today.

Breaking Bad: Rabid Dog

 "For three hours straight, all he talked about was something called Babylon 5..."

So this is it. The die is cast. From now on, all is in flux and there is no status quo. This is a supremely well-acted, written and directed piece of television, from Bryan Cranston's extraordinary "bad lying" acting to the shots of Jesse approaching Walt at the end.

Obviously, this episode is all about two things: Jesse turning against Walt and agreeing to cooperate fully with Hank (I'm glad he finally confides in Gomie), and Walt coming to terms with the necessity of killing Jesse. The dynamic between Jesse and Hank is fascinating.And it's ironic that the plan to have Jesse with a wire would have worked if not for his paranoia; it's only his angry phone call to Walt that makes Walt decide to kill him.

It's fascinating seeing Walt being advised to kill Jesse, not only by Seventies Porn Saul but by Skyler, who really crosses a line at this point. This resectable suburban wife encourages her husband to commit murder; her fall is complete.

Then there's the continuing naive faith of Flynn... surely his illusions will soon be brutally shattered? And the angst of Betsy, who may have said too much to her shrink. 

Nothing is safe. Anything can happen. Telly doesn't get much better than this.

Loki: Glorious Purpose

 "What's a fish?"

"How do you not know what a fish is?"

This  is an extremely promising start: indeed the finest opening episode to any Marvel TV series yet. It's far from an obvious idea to pair Loki with the semi-obscure Time Variance Authority, a nice little semi-satirical creation of Walt Simonson, but it really, really works.

The interrogation scene by Mobius, while its point is as yet unclear, is an excellent opportinuty to stop, explore and indeed psychoanalyse the character of Loki, adding depth to him as a person. The moment when he gives up on escaping because he realises he's temprally homeless is deeply affecting.

Yet it's the concept of the TVA that fascinates. It raises all sorts of philosophical questions of predestination and free will. It also introduces us to the concept of the multiverse, and that an authority exists- its origins rather murky- to ensure there is only one "sacred" timeline. The '60s-'70s office style is delightful, as is the fun little exposition video. The concepts, the humour and the characterisation are all superb. And I'm full of questions about the background to the Multiverse and the TVA.

More please.

Marvel and Housekeeping

 I’m slowly catching up with the MCU films. However, this calls for a bit of a rethink on my blogging my way through the various Marvel telly series. Up until now my plan had been to plough through all of the former Netflix shows (currently just finished the first season of Luke Cage) before catching up with the rapidly proliferating series on Disney Plus, where I’ve seen nothing since The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

Now that I’m nearly caught up with the movies, though, I’ll change my approach, as the Disney Plus series will surely tie in. So I’ll marathon the Disney Plus Marvel stuff and then return to the former Netflix series. 

Eternals (2021)

 "I thought we were heroes. Turns out we're the bad guys."

This is, I can't deny, the worst MCU film up until this point, and quite a disappointment. One may be tempted to blame it on the great Jack Kirby. Genius though he was, his genius had left the building, and the concept of the Eternals and Deviants was developed by him in a limited series at a point when his mojo was a thing of the past.

Other creators integrated this cuckoo into the Marvel Universe in creative ways, but a cuckoo it remains. So there we have the original sin of the concept, cool thouth the Celestials are- and the realisation of Erishem.

The effects and visuals are cool. So is the direction, in a scene to scene sense. The film looks good. It's also an intriguing and respectful treatment of the mythos, with deviants, the Uni-Mind, and characters like Sersi, Ikaris, Sprite, Makkari and Gilgamesh all well treated.The Mahd Wiri (from Bob Harras' run on Avengers?) is well handled with Thena. And the bid reveal about the Celestials' plot- to destroy all life on Earth but to do so in the aid of seeding life elsewhere- is presumsbly nicked off of a comic after my time, butb is cool.

But... it doesn't flow. Perhaps it's because the main stars are character actors who don't suit such big roles. Perhaps the script underwhelms. Perhaps it's because the second post-credits sequence has some pop star playing Starfox, although Pip the Troll is cool.

But it's probably Kirby. And this is the least good MCU film.

Breaking Bad: Confessions

 "Goodbye, Mr Jesse Pinkman. Hello, Mr Credit to Society."

You have to hand it to this episode. I mean, I might as well just stop describing individual episodes of Breaking Bad as superlative, as you can pretty much take that for granted. But this particular episode manages to be basically functional, putting pieces in place for the next act, and therefore traditionally requiring a slight dip in quality.

Hah! No such thing happens.

The episode centres around Walt's incredible confession, a devilishy clever work of cleverness that weaves together the facts that we've all seen over the last few seasons in a way that implicates Hank. It's a tour de force of both writing and acting. Walt- no, Heisenberg, is as vgood an actor as Bryan Cranston here. There is no higher praise.

Yet Aaron Paul is no less superlative in his performance. The scene in the desert where, yet again, Jesse shows that he may be undereducated but he's bloody clevee, something the snobbish Walt will never realise. It's unsurprising that he refuses to cooperate with a secretive Hank, himself at the start of another descent into obsessive self-destructiveness, but less surprising that, as soon as he puts two and five together with the ricin (he's wrong, but sort of right,,,), he turms against Walt, in a very fiery way. Will he now cooperate with Hank.

This very much fees like the beginning of the end.

And there are stiull subtleties to mention. Walt manipulating his own son, the poor boy. Marie's alienation from obsessive Hank. Skyler's dead eyes. Todd muscling in on the meth trade.

This is soooo good. That is all.

Pistol- Track 4: Pretty Vaaay****

 "What a ***ing rotter!"

This is, I suppose, the pivotal episode. It has all the seminal early TV appearances, starting with Tont Wilson and incorporating a full recording of the Bill Grundy car crash- and, in the shockingly violent reactions of violent thugs towards John and others just for swearing, we see hoew in many ways- if not in terms of the Welfare State- society has, thankfully, improved since the '70s.

It's wonderful to see things through the eyes of two excited Huddersfield teenage girls, who make their way to London to see the Pistols but end up exploited- much, it becomes increasingly clear, as are the band, by Malcolm, who creams away the profits and gets cold feet after the Grundy interview. The scene where he and Vivienne row- she, at this point, long before the damehood, is a true revolutionary artist who has not sold out, whereas the closest Malcolm comes to actual revolution is poking at an asbestos-ridden roof, despite being warned not to, that would kill him thirty-four years later. Yes, really.

On the other hand, it's Vivienne (ably abetted by a rather awesome Jordan) who exploits "the Huddersfields", so...

We also see the close friendship between John and Sid, the increasingly comfortable relationship (of casual sex and serious guitar tuition) betweewn Steve and Chrissie, and the increasing alienation of Glen, pushed out of the band, essentially because of Steve's class-related inferiority complex.

Things are speeding up. This is bloody brilliant. I'm loving it.

The Green Hornet, Episode 7: Bridge of Disaster

 "Where will we go now?"

Yet again we have a similar variation of the racketerring plot we've had throughout, including truckers. There's more sabotaged brakes. There's more corporate intrigue.There's another murder, the kind of locked room mystery where there isn't much mystery. There's a cliffhanger that's par for the course as our heroes, in a truck, traverse a bridge that proceeds to fall into an abyss.

It's a sausage machine. This episode is yet another sausage. 

Thing is, though, yet again, that descibes pretty much all movie serials. And it's so much not the point. But, inyterestingly, it's usually the set pieces that make each episode stand out. But you can tellthis is a superior episode of va superior serial as this is not the case. This is all about intrigue and, unusually, there's relatively litte action- but it works.

That's a tribute not only to the script but the charismatic performance of Gordon Jones. 

Movie serials are... well, what they are. But the best ones, like this, fascinate.

Deathstalker II (1987)

 "Ordinarily, I don't mind seeing a woman get a good beating, if she deserves it..."

Well, then. This line is said by the hero five minutes in. And there's plenty more of this little light outtrageous sexism throughout. 1987, much though it may seem like yesterday to some of us, was a longer time ago than we think.

It's rare, although not so rare as often thought, for a sequel to be better than the original. Some, wrongly, put the admittedly superlative The Godfather: Part II in this category, but The Godfather is superior by some considerable margin. So Deathstalker II, I suppose, manages to be better than The Godfather: Part II in one sense, on a technicality. Yes, I did indeed actually say that.

This really is superior to the original, though, despite the entirely new cast and the fact it could very easily just have been an original film. Much more than the original, it knows it's rubbish, and characters constantly break the fourth wall to say so. Conan gets a mention, cheerfully accepting this is a total rip-off. There's a pointless tribute to Poe's The Pit and the Pendulum and Goldfinger simultaneously. There's a very silly boxing match. There are massive historical inaccuracies (apparently, Genghis Khan and Ivan the Terrible are alive at the same time...) which are cheerfully lampshaded. 

The whole thing is so very, very silly, and played with just the right tone by a cast who know exactly what sort of movie they're in. This is high camp, not low camp. And I love it.

Blade: Trinity (2004)

 "Sooner or later, the thirst always wins."

So Blade is back. And now it's 2004, well into the era of Marvel superhero films that Blade pioneered. So what do we get for my most recent unwatched Marvel film?

But well, this is a very flawed film, if not an awful one. It tells us two things. Firstly, Wesley Snipes, while an effective '90s action film actor, is... well, washed up by this point. There's something very off about his performance.

Yet this is, perhaps, partly due to the lacklustre performances of everyone in this film. Kris Kristofferson is oddly wooden, too. Even Ryan Reynolds isn't firing on all cylinders. And, if the stars are beneath their usual standard, we must blame the director.

Interestingly, though, the script- by David S. Goyer- is perfectly good. It's just that it's badly directed- also by David S. Goyer. The man can write, as we've seen countless times. He just can't direct. He really can't. This is all very music video, something very popular at the time. Proper cinema it is not, despite the many well-conceived fight scenes.

And that's interesting, isn't it? The script is perfectly good. The concept is epic, Blade versus Dracula (whose Sumerian origin here is weird, like Vlad Dracul never existed), with a rather fun Hannibal King, Jessica Biel as a somewhat cool kind of female Hawkeye, and lots of well-written fight scenes thsat sort of fail in the execution and- especially- the cinematography. A good script, sadly, doth not equal a good film.

The Boys: Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed

 "Frenchie, are you high?"

"Well, that goes without saying!"

Well- SPOILER alert- that's quite the ending; Homelander, fast on the way to being discredited by Annie's media-savvy exp.loitation of the right-wing extremist killer's incredible thickness, learns that Soldier Boy- who never, in fact, fought in the Second World War; it was all propaganda- is the Darth to his Luke. Dumf dumf dumf. Well then.

Then we have the beautiful, beautiful romance between Kimiko, newly empowered out of love for him, and Frenchie. Yeah, he's going to die next episode, isn't he? It is the finale, after all.

There's so much more, though. Billy's past, and his demons surrounding Lennie, and a character whose powers are to make you have horrible nightmares until you die of dehydration. Urrrgh. This shows us his guilt about Lennie (his suicide...damn!), about Becca, about surrogate son Hughie... who he is prepare4d to allow to die of Compound V lesions for the sake of killing Homelander (will he die?). Wow.

Then there's the delicious, er, threesome scene between the Deep, his wife and an octopus. A-Train waking up with the transplanted heart of a racist wanker. There's the revelation of what has happened to poor, vengeful Maeve. There's poor MM, cuckolded by an absolute wanker.  

Most of all, threre's Black Noir, the cartoon animals, and the revelations of what happened to psycho stoner poser Soldier Boy.

This programme is one of the best things on telly. Sod it; Stranger Things isn't on any more. It's THE best thing on telly.

Breaking Bad: Buried

 "We are here to do a job, not channel Scrooge McDuck!"

This is it, then. The final stretch of the final act begins. Jesse's very depressed, dropping millions of dollars around while spinning around, on his back, on a roundabout. Symbolic much? Also, we see how bloody cold Lydia is as he has a load of meth underlings slaughtered purely because their substandard cooking is harming the bottom line... and then not wanting to see the bodies of the men she's just killed as the ever-gentlemanly sociopath Tom guides her gently through.

But this episode is mainly about the reverberations caused by the now-open war between Walt and Hank- although Walt doesn't wank to send Hank to "Belize". Yet. But it's 3-D chess, as Hank tries to turn Skyler without- yet- realising how exposed she s. Marie is not so naive, and the scene between the two sisters is extraordinary.

Everyone is exposed, though, and Walt's money isn't the only thing that gets buried in ths episode. Walt, his cancer returning, says in a moment of weakness that he'll take the fall if Skyler can use the money to support their kids... but that's not how it works. Meanwhile, for Hank, he needs evidence. He can'tjust tell the DEA- and he's right: the moment it's known that Heisenberg is his brother-in-law, he's an ex-cop. Yet saying nothing potentially exposes him to prosecution too...

The rest of the season looks to be absolutely gipping. This is first class, tension-filled, perfectly shot character drama.

Pistol- Track 3: Bodies

 "We're not into music. We're into chaos."

We should perhaps remember, three episodes in, that this is based on Steve Jones' autobiography, that it is, inevitably, focused on Steve, with him as the star. John Lydon doesn't like it, quite famously. And, while we may not like him these days because of his apparent support for Trumpian fascism, we should remember that he's always been fond of saying shocking stuff for the sake of it, what he says isn't necessarily what he means, and he may not be mentally all that well at the moment. His wife is very ill and he cares for her. So let's not make assumptions.

Anson Boon, incidentally, is superb as John. He brings out the mannerisms and the menace, yes. But threre's also the kind and, well, gentlemanly approach to Pauline. Just as revealing, too, is the saga of Chrissie Hynde's desperate attempts to get married purely for a visa. She's more upset than she thinks, for a "fake marriage"; when Steve spurns her, she likes him more than she admits. Yet John cheerily agrees to marry her for a laugh, only to back out when an upset Nick Kent arrives, because feelings are not a joke. Beneath everything, he has a heart. He's vulnerable.

And so is Steve himself. He's very sensitive about his illiteracy, and nice deep down, despite yielding to temptation with Pauline. But Pauline- the inspiration behind Bodies, not the anti-abortion song that right-wing morons think it is- is the character we feel most sorry for. Raped, institutionalied, carrying an aborted foetus in a bag to gigs, loving it when Johnny writes a song about her... that's real life.

The politics of punk is, of course, an interesting subject. Malcolm has his trite situationism.Vivienne has her aimless anti-authority, taboo-busting passion, hating bigotry but not in favour of anything. Everyone hates hippies. It's not explicitly right-wing but, well, I think it has its place in the history of Thatcherism. Then again, so do hippies. Their individualism is not necessarily a left-wing thing.

Nevertheless, this a wonderfully textured bit of telly. Reginald Bosanquet in Sex, Maisie Williams as Jordan, the Bromley Contingent in full force.. I absolutely love this.

Luke Cage: You Know My Steez

 "Most of these guys wear spandex. Who would have thought a black man in a hoodie would be a hero."

And so- later than expected, due to so much current television absolutely having to be blogged in such a short space of time (Stranger Things; Obi-Wan Kenobi; The Boys; and now Pistol)- we conclude the first season of Luke Cage in my everlasting quest to complete the formerly Netflix Marvel stuff before turning to the more recent series on Disney Plus.

This series has been superb. Much as there is some truth to the criticism of a mid-season lull after Stokes is killed, this is superb telly. The fight between Luke and Diamondback (using his suit from the comics!) is epic superhero set piece, chreographed like- and echoing flashbacks of- a boxing match. 

The goodies don't win; Mariah and Shades get off, while Luke is taken to prison in Georgia despite being cleared of his "crimes" in Harlem. And yet this is far from depressing viewing, and not only because Bob finds the folder which will presumably establish Luke's innocence; indeed, narratively, it has to. So we can bask in Luke's nobility- and nobility he has; this gent would fit in as a Knight of the Round Table- as he's taken back to Seaview, yet with a note of hope.

Because this episode makes clear that Luke has the adoration of all of Harlem including its admiring police deparment. And he gets a very meaningful snog from Claire, who finally lets slip her real feelings.

There's more; Misty struggles with the failure of the system todeliver justice as Candace is murdered and Mariah walks free. The world is not perfect, and that is, perhaps, while superheroes are necessary- a theme of all these Netfix Marvel shows. Yet there is hope. There are good people like Luke, Claire and Misty. The world is not beyond redemption.

I shall now catch up a bit with my current telly rotation, and Breakng Bad too, before Iron Fist joins The Green Hornet in my regular rotation.

Pistol- Track 2: Rotten

 "Come see us play. We're awful."

This is the episode where it all comes together. Steve learns guitar- in four days, with loads of speed- and we meet Johnny Rotten, played superbly by Anson Boon in a performance which perfectly encapsulates both Rotten's unique mannerisms and the deep, vulnerable unhappiness beneath. We also get more superlative performances from Thomas Brodie-Sangster as a deliciously amoral and pretentious Malcolm McLaren, the pseud who somehow ends up as the alpha male. 

Yet there is also Chrissie Hynde, struggling with the incredible levels of sexism in the music industry. And there's a welcome focus on Jordan, who has sadly died recently, and her awesome train journey to work shocking busybodies with her looks and showing us how stultifyingly conformist the British '70s were, even if the Welfare State also made it in many ways better than today. There are always swings and roundabouts.

We are efficiently introduced to Sid Vicious- seemingly a nice young man at this point- and the tensions with Glen Matlock are already apparent. The whole thing, once more, is gloriously shot with lots of creative references to '70s pop culture, and the Pistols' legendary first gig in November 1975 is truly awesome.

This shows us in no uncertain terms how extraordinary these events were- how four such lads could end up so famous, and how a povery- and abuse-stricken yet decent everyman like Steve Jones could experience such a trajectory. This is excellent stuff.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 9- The Piggyback

 "I piggybacked from a pizza dough freezer..."

Ooh. This was quite the finale. And I've got to write about it now.

Essentially, the writing was first class, despite the perhaps understandable plot armour for the kids and main characters; many of us guessed many episodes ago which character was going to die. Yet, this aside, the writing is flawless, magisterial, not only tying all the ends up but giving us so many very real character moments. Yes, the length is insane for a television episode. Yet every second is earned. There is zero padding. And the direction, cinematography, acting, sets, design are all superlative. All this and we get a splendid rendition of"Master of Puppets" too. Not only that, but we close with Siouxie and the Banshees and "Spellbound". This is the '80s' best self.

Let's talk about Eddie. I love the man: he's a teenager at school, a metalhead, he runs a D&D campaign, he may have smoked slightly naughty substances on occasion. He's basically me, a decade earlier and several tgousand miles to the west. Yet he comes from a place of grinding poverty; we certainly don't have trailer parks in the UK, we have a (rapidly disintegrating and evilly Kafkaesque) Welfare State instead. It's noble. Kids like Eddie should be in art school and in a band. Alas, he lives in Indiana.

Yet, cool and awesome though he is, he has a tragic flaw: he deals in drugs, not just weed but the hard stuff. This is what gives the Duffer Brothers permission to kill him. Yet, as he's awesome, he dies a hero. He's like the soldier who worries he might let the side down and fail to be brave, because he's scatred. Yet it's almost a cliche that such characters always end up heroes. Fear isn't cowardice. One has to feel fear for bravery to have meaning. Eddie dies a hero. All his sins are expunged. Those who hate him can **** off. And yes.Dustin's speech to his dad is beautiful.

Let's talk about Max, who is so very brave, and who is hopefully not dead, and will wake up. She faces her fears, her very deep fears, and acknowledges her very human and very understandable character flaws. Sadie Sink's acting is incredible... as is that of Caleb McLaughlin as a heroic and heartbroken Lucas, who concludes his own character arc by rejecting popularily in favour of geeky realness. Good for him. Top bloke.

And let us talk about the beautiful love between Joyce and Hopper. Between Eleven and Mike. Between Dustin and Eddie. Between brothers Jonathan and Will. These characters are all real and human, despite the CGS and the otherworldly awesomeness. All of them, including Yuri, who finds some decency at the end.

This season was comprised of insanely long episodes. Yet it deserved that. This is fine, fine telly.

Jackie Brown (1997)

 "I think it's a gun pressed against your dick..."

It's somewhat embarrasing that there are any Quentin Tarantino films I haven't seen, quite frankly, This is the earliest, and I'm so glad I crossed it offmy list. I mean, it's not even one of the more famous Tarantino films, but that matters not. It's a straightforward, yet also complex, heist movie with few bells and whistles of Tarantino's usual structural stuff. But it's interesting to see him restraining himself. This film is superb.

The cast is, of course, magnificent. Pam Grier stars, wonderfully, in a film that is not a B movie, and shoes us her sheer class in a highlight of her career. Given a first class film, she shines. If only she'd been given more. She's a forty-something black woman starring in a big Hollywood movie, too. That's embarrassingly rare, and I bet Miramax (friends of a rapist) had representations. I'm sure any one- or two-fingered gesture would fit nicely here.

Yet Samuel L. Jackson is also oiutstanding as Ordell, a clever, gun-running chap whose best line (about guns and killing, of course) cannot be used at the top of this blog post because swear words are a thing to right wing wankers, who nevertheless won't censor said obscenity because it's a Brit thing.

Roberty De Biro is in this, giving a restrained yet awesome performance. The plot is superb, as is the dialogue. It's a noice '90s time capsule in that Jackie is poor and must subsist on recorfds, not CDs- that's really dated.

Sid Haig is there, too, as the judge. This is a superb henist movie, yet I'm sure thrre are all sorts of directorial bits...?

Pistol- Track 1: Cloak of Invisibility

 "The phantom of the Odeon strikes again!"

Yes, I know. I'm juggling so many shows so why start a new one? Well, at least I've nearly finished Stranger Things, right?

Wow. This is much more textured, interesting telly than I expected from a biopic of merry Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones.

We begin, as is traditional in all Pistols-related telly, with a '70s montage framed arounda live Bowie performance of "Moonage Daydream" and Steve nicking stuff, but including such things as unmentionable pop, Barbara Windsor royalist wankery of a rather less ironic and metatextual natutre than the recent frolics, bad clothes, bad decor.

And we get to know Steve, a Sex Pistol who isn't John or Sid- must get round to blogging Sid and Nancy at some point- but is more interesting than either of them. A likeable rogue, who nicks stuff and shags around but is charming and decent underneat it all. Poor, vulnerable, not from a loving home like Paul Cook, whose parents let him play drums in their bedroom  but chucked out of his home by a sexually abusive stepfather.

Yet he finds a surrogate dad in Malcolm McLaren (played, disturbinhly.by Thomas Brodie-Sangster, who I remember well as a child actor in Doctor Who), and already we understand their bond. We also get to know and like Chrissie Hynde, to laugh at Nick Kent, to wallow in a very real-seeming '70s, an era when culture was real and contemporary, and previous decades were not available at a click of the mouse, and borstals were bloody scary..

This is unexpectedly good telly. And Johnny Rotten is still to come...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Unaired Pilot

 "Hey, you forgot your... stake..."

Yep. Many years after blogging the entire Buffyverse I've finally managed to get access to the unaired original pilot. Where did I find it, you ask?

Oh, look, a squirrel.

Anyway, this is short, sweet and rather cheap-looking, but nevertheless full of the Joss Whedon wit and brilliance (regardless of his very serious flaws as a human being that have leaked in recent months) that we've come to know. It is, essentially, a very truncated version of Welcome to the Hellmouth, complete with the nice bit of misdirection in the opening scene.

The main differences involve the music (the opening titles are "Salvation" by Rancid, which is well cool) and the casting of Willow. It's encouraging that Riff Regan is no stick insect and is a rare example of a woman with a real body shape on television, but acting-wise, although solid, she's no Alyson Hannigan. It's understandable that they recast the part.

Otherwise, though, it's surprising how fully-formed this all feels, from the concept to the characters to the little details like "Dingoes Ate My Baby". A wondefrful little artifact.

The Boys: Herogasm

 "Oh Jesus, your stretching powers!"

Yeah, this line reminds me of a hilarious book called How to Be a Superhero,with illustrations by Steve Dillon. If you remember it- the writers clearly did- you MUST say so in the comments.

Anyway, this is a near perfect episode of television. Not because of all the splendidly filthy Herogasm sexy nastiness... but it helps. It's good to see depressingy exploitative and tool-deflatingly stupid porn, and the whole culture surrounding it, being mocked like this. Top marks for that. Porn is stupid, Erotic stories, generally written by women, are where it's at. Er, anyway...

This is wonderful. Soldier Boy is flawed, damaged, reactionary but honestly so, not like these tiresome modern "warriors" on "woke" who try to disguise the tininess of their penises with their love of Donald Trump (Homelander is, of course, said pathetic orange failure as a human being). One can sympathise with him- as well as damaged, human Butcher and his unfortunate acolyte Hughie- while ultimately acknowledging that Annie is wise, right, and the leader we all need asc she stands up to Neuman and records her devastating resignation speech.

Homelander may survive his pummelling, but surely he's doomed. Yet he's super-powered, and uncontrollable.

Then we have the magnificent opening text, the generally brilliant characterisation, the moving love story between Frenche amd Kimiko. This is sumtuous telly, and this blog post does not, cannot, do justice to it.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 8- Papa

 "If we're trying to avoid angry hicks, maybe we shouldn't go to a store named The War Zone?"

And so the run of uber-long episodes with ensemble casts continues. It should be over-bloated. It shouldn't work. It does.

Where to start? Eleven's story is amazing, from the betrayal of "Papa" to her perfect verbal denunciation to the dying doctor's face, right after she crashes the helicopter after trying to kill her. Her story in this episode uncannily (deliberately?) echoes that of Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back, using  her Jedi powers to lift a metal shack and being torn between further necessary training and saving her friends. This has to be a deliberate echo. And her constant gaslighting by "Papa" is every bit as creepy as intendeds.

Then there's the lovely chat between oh-so-brave Max and a lovelorn Lucas. There's Will's selfless act of loving froendship as he reassues Mike about Eleven's need for him- noticed by Jonathan. There's the beautiful love between Joyce and Hopper as they keep trying to escape from Siberia in the most entertainingly funny subplot.

Oh, and the Soviets are breeding tons of Demogorgons in jars. For next season?

Prediction: Eddie's going to die next episode. He's funny, he's cool, we like him. He's scary, but not a coward. He tells Dustin to "never change". He's doomed.

This, if it needed telling, is superlative telly.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

 "What is your name change logic...?"

Shang-Chi, particularly the Doug Moench incarnation, is a distint and fond memory I have from the '80s reprinting, here in the UK, in the pages of Action Force, the tales of the '70s... from which creator Steve Englehart had ejected himself in protest of the racism.

And here we have the problem. Because the '70s comics were based quite heavily and unironically on the works of Sax Rohmer (look him up), with its heavily racist tropes of the "yellow peril" and Fu Manchu, a characte whom... well, if you know the character, and don't cringe, you're being racist, however much you might try not to be.

I must admit, if anything has happened in the comics with Shang-Chi since 1983, this middle aged man knows nothing of it, except to hope it's not bloody racist shite.

Fortunately, this rather entertaining blockbuster film ignores all that. Shang-Chi's father is not Fu Machu(!) but, er, the Mandarin, complete with rings, and Shang-Chi himself has a rather awesome love interest in intelligent waster Katy, not to mention a rather awesome sister.

Disregarding cameos from Wong, the Abomination(!), Captain Marvel and Bruce Banner, and of course the ever- steady post-snap reality, this rather enjoyable film feels, at the momentt, as semi-detached from the wider Marvel universe as one could imagine right now. Yet it's excellent, essentially a Marvel-approved, strictly non-racist,  highly enjoyable Hollywood version of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and films of that ilk. Not massively deep, but superior blockbuster fodder.

David Bowie- Hunky Dory (1971)

 

It's odd I've never blogged this particular album before. I've got rather deeply into Bowie over the years- and by no means just the albums from The Man Who Sold the World up to Let's Dance that you're supposed to like; he did great work throughout his career, and yes, that includes the '90s.

But conventional opinion has this album as one of his very best, and sometimes, just sometimes, conventional opinion is right. 

It's not just the obvious huge hits- Starman"; "Life on Mars"- the whole album is full of bangers. "Bewley Brothers"; "Song for Bob Dylan"- literally every song on the album is absolutely as good as the singles.

This is the moment where Bowie stops being an artist who merely makes good albums and reveals himself as a genius, with much credit due to the rest of the band, of course, not least Mick Ronson. It's also arguably the best album of the early '70s, and a positive sign of something new for a new decade. 

Chances are high that the next album I blog won't be anhywhere near as good...

The Boys: Last Time to Look upon This World of Lies

 "With great power comes the certainty that you'll turn into a right ****!"

Wow. The Boys does it again. We have the Legend, a coke-snorting retired celebrity monger who may actually be based on Stan Lee. We have Ashley as CEO of Vought, but Homelander, like Trump, finds himself in power (the superpowers are, of course, a metaphor of that), but far too thick to exercise it effectively.

We have the loving but awkward relationship between Annie and Hughie. He, being male, feels he should protect her, hence his increasing addiction to Temp V. Yet he's wrong. She's a supe.She needs not his protection, but his love. And so the gender roles are reversed. Can Hughie be a real man and be the loving man the superhero Starlight needs? The signs are not good.

Homelander, who has always been the villain, takes shape even more as the big bad. His aggressive assault on Maeve- what happens to her? Is she dead?- is a shocking as Maeve herself who, in giving an increasingly unhinged Billy Butcher some more Temp V, and being told that supes like her shoild be destroyed... kisses him. Well then.

And Soldier Boy is loose, in the USA. His relationship with OnlyFans star Crimson Countess has disturbing parallels with that of Maeve and Homelander. Crimson Countess ends up dead. Does Maeve?

This is superb telly, outrageous and nuanced. A-Train's subplot, in which he gets to realise, at last, the true nature of a "supe lives matter" racist supe wanker wjho deserves a good kicking, is perhaps the most interesting. This is bloody brilliant.

Luke Cage: Soliloquy of Chaos

 "What are you, a pimp stormtrooper?"

I know, it's been a while: a confluence of Stranger Things, Obi-Wan Kenobi and The Boys meant new telly had to overshadow my planned content. But, now that only The Boys is still going, I can plough on.

Anyway, yes, as ever with penultimate episodes, this is an exercise in getting the pieces in place for the finale, so Misty can go after Mariah and Luke can give Diamondback a good kicking. And yes, it's a little eyebrow raising not only that Shades has a folder conveniently clearing Luke of the crimes Diamondback framed him for in the first place. Also, Luke doesn't even bother to check. And since when did Americans free black people from prison after their innocence was proven without dragging their feet? There's no justice in that country. And don't get me stsrted on their bail scams, their plea bargain corruption, their not letting people vote after they've served their time.

But this is a superb bit of telly despite the above plot hole. I'm no hip hop head, but the stuff with Method Man is profoundly moving, with the Harlem community coming behind Luke, a black man unjustly harassed by the police. I noticed the Trayvon Martin reference, which was highly appropriatre. Yet we also have Priscilla, by now established as hard but fair, as a counterpoint to a Misty who by now is entirely on Team Luke.

The tension, the action (Shades escaping his planned murder in the lift), the calm chess playing grace of Bobby, the characterisation of Mariah and Diamondback, the acting throughout, the fact that Luke has the cops on his side... my God, I'll miss Luke Cage. This is damn good telly.

The Boys: Glorious Five Year Plan

 "Let's just say that Maeve can bend a steel pipe without using her hands."

Wow. So much happens in this episode... and Homelander is even more out of control. Can anybody stop him? He nonchalantly outmaneovres pretty much everybody who tries to stop him, all while acting as much of a dick as he possibly can, from getting Victoria Neumann to destroy Stan Edgar's career in disgrace, seemingly- although Edgar is not without a parting shot- to killing Annie's ex as a chilling warning.

And yet... this isn't four dimensional chess. Homelander pulls the strings through fear, not cleverness. And, of course, there's a weapon in Russia than may be able to kill him.

Scenes in Russia are as shocking as any featuring Homelander or, indeed, the hints of Ashley's sex life. Kimiko is forced against her will to go on a mission, involving death by dildo to some oligarch, that profoundly shocks her to the point that she and Frenchie agree to leave Butcher. So. naturally- and shockingly- she is killed. That's two deaths this episode.

Oh, and it turns out the Russians'weapon is- Soldier Boy himself, somehow, to MM's disgust.

And Billy is as out of control as Homelander, even dragging Hughie along with him in his addiction to temp V and the powers it brings, very visibly coded as a Class A drug. It's war between the two of them. And neither seems to care about collateral damage...

Superb and shocking in equal measure. It always is.

Breaking Bad: Blood Money

 "Spock's like a toothbrush."

This, ladies and gentlemen, is quite simply the finest episode of television drama that I have ever seen. I've seen, and blogged, a lot of telly. Naturally, we choose to watch what we are likely to enjoy, so, despite my individual tastes and quirks, I'm biased towards quality.

And nothing I've ever see tops this. Oh, the script- even the extended Star Trek dialogue riff which brilliantly introduces us to Jesse's depression- Aaron Paul gives the single best  performance of the condition that I have EVER seen, and would be the standoiut performer in any lesser episode of television. He is, in that sense, incredibly unlucky to share this episode with Dean Norris, Because, although one could argue that he benefits from a first class script and first class direction, he rises to the occasion with superlative aplomb. His performance- in facial expression, line delivery, every possible nuance- will live not only in the history of television, but in the history of acrting. In a word: wow.

Mr Norris' performance here is equivalent to any performance of Hamlet I've ever seen. The man is an acting genius.

The episode itself is gripping. Jesse is depressed, and seriously so. Walt and Skyler believe themselves to be free of the life of crime, but such things are impossible. Both Lydia and cancer are there to puncture such illusions. I mean, we really ought to praise Brian Cranston's acting too. His genius is so constant that we take it for granted.

The final scene..I struggleto think of one better. Hank is a jock, a simple man on the surface. But no human being is without complexity, as the character study of Hank has revealed over the seasons. And war is declared betweemn Hank and Heisenberg, as there can be only one alpha male.

Go Hank. And the deepest of respect to anyone involved in this work of art. Thank you.

The Crow (1994)

 "Abashed the Devil stood, and felt how awful goodness is."

 I'm not religious, personally, but I certainly worship John Milton's Paradise Lost. If you haven't read it, go away and get drunk on its gloriousness before you continue reading this. I'll wait.

 It's rather embarrasing that I, being seventeen in 1994, have never seen this film before. And it needs saying, at the start, that the death of Brandon Lee through unprofessional carelessness is unforgiveable. Alex Proyas may be a talentless director but, given what happened here, it is unconscionable that he ever worked again. Shame on him.

Still, one cannot deny that this film is incredible. On the surface, it's a very simple revenge thriller with a gothic tinge. It's very '90s in style, in the best possible way, and the way this defines the direction has as much of an effect on the ausience as anything to do with the plot or performances. This has the best soundtrack of pretty much any film ever, including The Cure, Jesus and Mary Chain, the Rollins Band, and Pantera. Stone Temple Pilots are heard too but, in the circumstances, we can probably forgive that lapse.

Brandon Lee is captivating. Ernie Hudson, given a criminally rare chance to really shine, does so. Michael Wincott is a superb villain, chewing the scenery in a masterful and genuinely brilliant way; it's a shame his career seems not go havr exploded aferwards, jealous thoiugh I am that he can apparently grow his hair even longer than my own manly locks.

This is a simple yet ingenious film. It's style over substance, yes, but in the possible way. It's a directorial triumph which overcomes a very simple concept. I love it.

Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)

 "I'm in love with Spider-Man's aunt!"

Yes, I know. I'm well behind oin the Marvel films; I intend to remedy that. And I'm being competist, and trying to track down Blade:Trinity. Anyway...

This film is awesome. It works brilliantly both as an action film and as a farce. It's totally a Spider-Man film- the characterisation of Spidey is spot on, and Tom Holland is superb, plus not only is Jake Gyllenhaal brilliant as Mysterio but the villain works perfectly. He's the master of illusion: what could be more gloriously cinematic?

And yet, at the same time, this is absolutely a big MCU film. It ties Spidey very strongly to the legacy of the late Tony Stark- including, with Happy, an important member of Shellhead's supporting cast. But it's deeper than that. The film takes place in the afteermath of the former dead returning after Thanos's snap. Nick Fury and Cobie Smulders take prominent roles... and turn out to be Skrulls.

And, yes, at the end, a dying Mysterio outs Spidey as Peter Parker- via J.K. Simmonds as J. Jonah Jameson once more!!!- which will have future consequences, but which is also a sign of the MCU disdaining the concept of secret identities. We do not rely on cliched tropes here.

It's mostly an adorable and light farce, though, with lots of comedy, bits of action and romance between Peter and Mary Jane, which is incredibly sweet. Yet at the same time it manages to  be a very Spider-Man film set far from his territory of New York- imagine!- and a brilliant MCU film.

Kevin Feige, you and your underlings triumph yet again.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part VI

 "It's not about us, is it? It's about you and him."

This is the perfect finale to a series which, well, has no pretensions to greatness in the same way as The Mandalorian, and could be fairly well described as what we Doctor Who fans call "fanwank", in that ot's the sort of thing that a talented fan might do as fan fiction, only on Disney Plus. That's what this is. It isn't high art. 

But there's nothing wrong with not being high art. Not being a clever pastiche of a Western like The Mandalorian is no crime. This isn't great, but it's bloody good fan service, and that's ok.

So I'm going to sing the phrases of this awesome final episode. It's jolly good, after all. The fight scene between Obi-Wan and Darth is superb, despite how predictable ot inevitably has to be in a serial where the scaffolding of continuity already exists. The scene where Vader's mask is punctured, and Hayden Christensen's voice replaces that of James Earl Jones, is effective. Somis the late moment where the Emperor (77 year old Ian McDiarmid) rebukes Vadervfor his obsession with Kenobi, conveniently enabling to eke out an existence on Tattooine until Star Wars.

Reva's redemption arc is touching: I hope we see her again. Unable to kill Anakin's son Luke as revenge, she is freed from the prison of her past, and able to be who she wants to be. This is a powertful message; abuse as a child or young person need not define you as a person.

The parting between Obi-Wan and Leia is lovely. And it's incredibly predictable- as is much in this episode, not that it's a bad thing- that Qui-Gon Jinn's ghost shoud appear at the very end.

Ah, thos is fanwank, pure and simple. But fanwank doesn't get better than this.

Breaking Bad: Gliding Over All

 "Lydia, learn to take yes for an answer..."

SPOILERS. Be warned. Be very waerned.

Wow. This episode is extraordinarily played and shot, with a mood of foreboding and tension surrounding literally everything. This is, seemingly, the tale of Walt and Skyler rescuing their family, and retiring rich from criminality to a life of happiness ever after... something which we know damn well will never happen: Walt isn't in this episode at all. Only Heisenberg.

He has much blood on his hands, and not just Mike's. The nine potential informants- cleverly handled via the prisoner's dilemma by Hank- are all betrayed, stabbed multiple times in the chest, like Julius Caesar. Et tu, Heisenberg? This kind of darkness underlies the appatrent international success, shown by montages of success to ironic soundtracks, and literally more money than they could ever spend.

There is one notable loose end, of which we are purposefully reminded: the ricin, the Chekhov's Gun that seemingly never gets fired. But everything else is closed- even Jesse being paid off in an incredibly tense scene.

And then that ending, at the very last moment...

I'm glad I don't have to wait as long as the original viewers. Wow.

The Green Hornet, Episode 6: Highways of Peril

 "I never saw a car move so fast!"

It should have been Luke Cage in this slot but I needed something shorter, so here’s the next Green Hornet instead.

This is, essentially, another instalment in this superior movie serial much like all the others, with the same heavy usage of the theme tune as incidental music and all the same tropes. This is no bad thing. Not is the repetitive plot, as our hero faces racket after racket and peril after peril, this time with Reid stuck on a bus with no brakes about to crash over a precipice, as you do. 

Incidentally. The victimised bus company is called Whippet Lines…

We end with a shootout, with lots of action for our heroes and our comedy Irishman in the meantime. There no real plot whatsoever, but who cares?

The Boys: Barbary Coast

 “I. Am. Homelander.”

I realise I could say this about any episode… but where to start?

Let’s start with Grace Mallory’s tale of Soldier Boy and the whole gang in ‘80s Nicaragua, engaged in that all-American pursuit of fighting left-wing movements in Central America in the name of the Monroe Doctrine, and doing so via deals with Khamenei’s Iran and selling cocaine specifically to minority communities. God bless Uncle Sam, Oliver North and Ronald Reagan. 

Anyway, we see the whole team in their, er, heyday, including a Black Noir who speaks(!), and an early example of why supes in any military is such a moronic idea. But the big Soviet supe-killing gun is quite the McGuffin, causing Billy to lose his brown stuff and alienate his son to protect him.

He does this because of his deep desire to kill Homelander, who is increasingly sadistic and out of control, like a cross between Superman and Donald Trump only capable of stringing a sentence together. He brings back the Deep into the team despite the reality TV comprtionion nonsense, just to troll Annie in the worst way possible before announcing that the two of them are an item. He makes the Deep eat an octopus, despite the fact he can hear it begging for its life. Worst of all, he calmly faces down Annie’s threat to release the plane footage by threatening to turn against America. It’s increasingly clear that he’s the big bad.

There’s so much else. The nicely done demonstration of Islamophobia on the reality show. Hughie’s reluctant conversion to fighting dirty. A-Train learning about a supe called Blue Hawk who is responsible for at least one BLM type atrocity. And the, er, revelations about Frenchie’s sexual past. 

Ah, The Boys. You’re dirty. You’re amazing. But I’m not taking you to meet my mother.

The Green Hornet, Episode 5: The Time Bomb

 "He's got two murders to his name."

"They haven't been proved!"

Apologies for the wait. It's just that new seasons of Stranger Things, Obi-Wan Kenobi and The Boys all started simultaneously, but I'm now up to date with the first two. This and Breaking Bad have been added to the schedule; Luke Cage resumes next week.

It's good to be back in movie serial land, though, and the greatest theme tune ever. Who cares if the car crash, completre with explosion, is a cop out? Complete with, er, the cops chasing Green Hornet and Kato. I love how they all comically suspect he's a criminal- all but Britt's comically trusting secretary, the only female to be seen-

Again, we have the behatted hoods with their terrible suits from the 1940s, the decade taste forgot almost as much as the 1970s. Again, we have Britt/Green Hornet slowly investigating the racket, getting one rung higher this time, with a bit of help from Michael the Comedy Irishman.

Hilariously, we end with yet another car exploding. Ah, I've missed this.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part V

 "Was beginning to think you weren't coming, Master..."

SPOILERS!

This  is the finest episode so far, full of both excitement and character stuff between Obi-Wan, Darth and the mysterious Reva, who in the same episode is made Grand Inquisitor, which will annoy lots of people, and has her origin revealed. It is at once an impressively jaw-dropping revelation and an apparent plot hole: how the Hell can a former youngling have managed to become an Inquisitor without arousing suspicion?

Tala, too, gets an origin reveal of sorts, confessing at her past complicity oin atrocities, including upon force-sensitive children, which is why she has since dedicated her life to this proto-Rebel cause. It's appropriate that this moment should come moments before she atones with a heroic death in one of those tropes that often works despite the fact you can usually see it coming.

Obi-Wan gets to be a hero, with his new lightsabre. There's lots of Darth. We even get a meaningful flashback to their younger days, complete with actual Hayden Christensen. And we getr an interestingly ambiguous ending. This may not be grreat telly, but it's certainly good. And it's ok to just be good.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 7- Massacre at Hawkins Lab

 "Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket..."

SPOILERS. Be warned. .

But, like, wow. I mean, yes, there are other plot threads- although the California contingent are suspiciously absent from the whole episode, suggesting that they have big things to come. But, well before we discuss Eleven's memories and the huge bombshell, let's do a tour of the characters.

So the police are a bit wet. Dustin, Lucas, Max and especially Erica are awesome. Yet poor Nancy, Robin, Steve and interestingly Eddie fare well in the Upside Down- Eddie in particular being his cool metalhead, D&D self. The kids avoid the police materdfully. The bikes blatantly reference ET.

And we get the suspense of the veryblovely Joyce and the indefaiigable Murrat rescuing action hero Hopper and his mate... and the Russian Demogorgon.

Yet this is all about Eleven’s past, about who did. About who One is, who Vecna is. The revelation is masterfully handled, and will hopefully restore Eleven’s powers. It really does come as a huge revelation, masterfully delivered. Yet we end worried about Nancy.

There’s so much character stuff here. The bug between Joyce and Hopper. The chat between Steve and Eddie where they connect and Eddie tells him not to let Nancy go. Erica being awesome. Dustin being a genius.

I now need to wait until 1 July. Bastards.

Breaking Bad: Say My Name

 "Do you really want to live in a world without Coca Cola...?"

So that's it, then. Mike and Jesse (for now!) are out of the meth business, like people who win big in the casino, go home and quite sensibly never gamble again. But Walt... no, Heisenberg... can't do that. He's addicted, and thus doomed. He's going to stay in the business, so it' a case of when, not if, he will fall.. I'm convinced that the rest of this season is purely about how this plays out.

The extent of his hubris is shown in the extraordinary opening scene, in which a threatened Heisenberg arrogantly takes charge and probably gets himself a distributor. Yes, his hubris is punctured whe he fails to get Jesse to stay and instead has to employ that thick, child-killing psych... but that won't last. I bet.

Todd, incidentally, is an interesting contrast with Heisenberg. He's young, and just natutrally evil, noty pushed into it by hardship, like Walt. He's therefore a boring, mundane little tit. No wonder Skyler is so disgusted by Walt's attempted small talk aboit work, and rather sensibly prefers to spend time with her wine instead.

Then we have Hank- moved up in the world through histenacity, but getting chewed out for that same obsessiveness, showing signs of lacking the big picture perspective a boss needs. And we have Mike, methodically retiring from the business, like the Mr Fixit he is...  until Hank makes it all go pear shaped, and ensures the money will no longer flow to those who must be paid off.

The ending is ambiguous and fascinating... and pointless, as Walt notes. He didn't even need to threaten Mike. But he has. And the consequences can only be big...

Obviously, this is first class telly. We're long past the point where I need to say it.

The Boys: The Only Man in the Sky

 "A hamburger with a donut for a bun? There really is no God here."

This is a brilliant episode, and one f the reasonds it's brilliant is the sheer complexity of all the stuff that's going on, yet with such perfect character beats, aided by extraordinary performances from the likes of Karl Urban and Antony Starr.

We know that Homelander is a monster, but it gets truly scary when things don't go his way. The scene where he's trying to stop a girl from jumping off a building, then they both change their minds and he makes her jump even though she's changed her mind... yeah, that's dark. As it the fact that his first thought after Stormfront's suicide is that she has to do it on his birthday. But his horribly self-centred monologue at the end is a huge moment. There's so much dramatic tension in wondering what he's going to do.

Meanwhile we get more backstory on Soldier Boy, who seems pretty much the Comedian from Watchmen. All the research done by the gang is fascinating, with Laurie Holden guest-starring as the Crimson Countess, while Gunpowder is a dark, dark character, sexually abused as Soldier Boy's boy wonder as a kid and now grown up into a far-right MAGA gun nut. He dies, of course, but at the hands of a Billy Butcher who has temporary supe powers, the one thing you'd think he'd never do.

The psychology and motivations of Hughie, Billy, MM and Homelander are dwelt upon at length here. This is deep, thoughtful yet deliciously irreverent stuff.

Satan's Slave (1976)

 "Don't forget- tomorrow is your special day!"

This film has such a lurid title, and an equally lurd opening scene and sequence. There's a fair bit of female nudity in it. Indeed, there's even a flashback to the witch hunting days of the 17th Century as a naked woman is branded, whipped and then immolated. Er, lovely.

Shame the film is so slow, dull and talky, then. Even with a scene of Mochael Craze being nebulously enchanted in a lift, causing him to die by suicide. Even with Michael Gough starring- he's phoning it in here, but he's incpable of not dazzling the audience with his charisma.

Candace Glendenning and Martin Potter are ok, but they can't phone it in as well as Michael Gough can. And, let's face it, they are playing cousins who have incestuous sex with each other. That's disgusting, and one wonders what they thoiught they were playing at.

The film drags terribly, consisting of mediocre actors and Michael Gough chatting nonchalantly in a country house while the direction fails to establish any kind of horror atmosphere. Even the twist at the end, with a little light gaslighting of Catherine and James Bree delivering a much less mannered performance than usual, underwhelms. The whole film reeks with the air of "that'll do". If you want a good horror film about Devil worshipping cultists, watch The Devil Rides Out. If you watch this, the only possible reason could be because of an actotr within it (for me, Michael Craze, seen sleeping in the most awful bedding in history) and no other reason. This film is pants.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 6- The Dive

 “What’s the Internet?”

Obviously, this is bloody good. It's Stranger Things. But things are getting pretty intense in all plot arcs, and something has to give.

There's one arc, pleasingly, which is there to provide contrasting light relief, as the California kids find Suzie in Salt Lake City, where her highly religious Mormon family prove to be... not quite as expected. But her dad is a dick, keeping her away from Dustin just because the lad doesn't believe in God. I hope he gets his just desserts. Still, Suzie fulfils her plot function while the whole plot thread lightens the mood. Plus it's always amusing seeing early Internet stuff.

But there are not many laughs elsewhere as the tension builds, although Joyce and Murray have some fun at Yuri's expense in Siberia. Hopper, though, isn't having much fun at all, facing imminent sacrifice to a Demogorgon.

Eleven is having a fascinating but horrible time reliving repressed memories in order to get her powers back, while the Hawkins contingent are caught between Vecna (not much apparent this episode, despite Steve finding the, ahem, "Watergate"), the cops and a frenzied mob whipped up by the conspiracy theory weirdos. This mob is by far the most terrifying thing in this season, Vecna included.

The cliffhanger is incredible. There's great character stuff here too- Nancy and Robin bonding; Max and Lucas slowly manoeuvring to hopefully get together again. This is simply awesome.

Venom (2018)

 "Eyes! Lungs! Pancreas! So many snacks, so little time!"

I thought, given that current stuff that must be blogged is interrupting my consumption of the former Netflix Marvel seasons- damn you, Stranger Things, Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Boys- I'd best start to attack the current backlog of Marvel films. So it starts here.

This is one of those films that starts off as though it's going to be rubbish. I don't like the texture, the coliuring, the cinematography, surprising from the director of Zombieland... but the script and acting win through. 

This film doesn't pretend to be clever. But, after getting obver the music video direction, it becomes apparent that the script is decent, if not exceptional, and that both Tom Hardy and Riz Ahmed (as Elon Musk, in every detail) are very good indeed.

It's odd in a Venom film not to see Spider-Man- Sony own him for cinematic purposes at present; is this film part of the MCU? We see Stan the Man, I suppose. But it's interesting that a film based on Venom and Eddie Brock can succeed without reference to Spidey- although, of course, we get a subtle appearance from John Jameson.

Tom Hardy and Michelle are both impressive in the vrewlationship that anchors the film. Hardy impresses as the Symbiote. The story beats are good, despite the lack of Spidey and directorial shortcomins., and I look forward to more Sony Marvel stuff.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 5- The Nina Project

 "You're bigger than Madonna to them!"

Yet again we have an insanely long episode that juggles so many plot threads and so many characters, and does so with real aplomb. This season is extraordinary, and this episode, with the Creel mansion as a haunted house, is more Lovecraftian than ever. So much so that the subtitles keep describing sound effects as "eldritch".

Much of the episode is taken up with the splendidly directed sequences of Eleven in her own, very dreamlike, Groundhog Day, back with "Papa" in that hellish institute from whence she came, regaining her powers but at the price of facing the demons of her bloody past. Meanwhile, the conspiract theorist loons nearly catch up with Eddie, until Vecna gets one of their number. And there's excitement for Joyce and Murray as they escape from Yuri while crash landing a plane.

But it's all about the chatacter moments, too. A severely depressed Hopper thinking he's a curse who destroys all he loves. A sweet moment between Max and Lucas. An ironic conversation aboit the pains of potentially unrequited love between Mike and Will. A frisson, again, between Nancy and Steve. Robin being awesome, as ever.

There are, I think, a few more clues about Vecna. But I'm clueless, and that's how I like it. This is excellent telly.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part IV

 "I let them go..."

This is, one senses early on, a middle episode that's there to get from A to B in preparation for the last two episodes- Obi-Wan recovers from his ordeal at the hands of Vader, rescues Leia and acquaints himself with more Rebel allies.

We have Obi-Wan and Tala (I like her, and not only because she's Susie from Torchwood) being heroic and brave. We have some new trebel characters. We have lots of fan-pleasing use of Imperial tropes- officers, droids, Stormtroopers, TIE fighters. It's fun, and it's exciting.

Indeed, it echoes Star Wars- the film, not the franchise; there's no such film as A New Hope, whatever George Lucas may wish- in that Leia is brave under the threat of torture and she is ultimately rescued by a Jedi with a blue lightsabre, assisted by a Rebel fleet. Yet it's interesting to see the dynamic between Darth and his protege, sort of, Reva, who is an inyteresting character, very well played by Moses Ingram in a way which perhaps flatters the writing a little.

This episode is, perhaps, merely transitional. But the action sequences are fun and I enjoyed it. What more needs to be said?

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 4- Dear Billy

 "I am still very much in Hell..."

No Eleven this episode, although her absence is very much felt. But we get a fittingly creepy cameo from an eyeless Robert Englund, and lots of arc stuff happening- as well as excellent character development- in what is the longest episode yet.

In California, Mike and Will reaffirm their friendship a little, but they and Jonathan are forced to flee due to the slightly alarming occurrence of feds with guns trying to kill them. Lucas has had enough, and abandons the cool but conspiracy theory-obsessed kids for his true friends. And, in the centrepiece of the whole episode, Robin and Nancy hear Victor Creel's story from his own lips, in a magnificently gripping performance from Freddy Krueger himself.

Oh, and we get a dramatic and nail-biting escape attempt from the tough-as-nails Hopper, only for him to be recaprtured through betrayal.. with Joyce and Murray also fated for the gulag.

But it's all about Max, Sadie Sink's aazing acting, and a focus on Max's demons, literal and metaphorical in an amazing bit of character development as she works through her complex feelings about Billy, and why she pushes people away. She seems doomed, although Vecna rather fortunately seems to be taking his time killing her, until her ever-reliable friends, and Kate Bush, come running up that hill to the rescue. It's phenomenal, and anything that makes young 'uns discover '80s Kate Bush has to be a very good thing indeed.

This is amazing. If only the episodes weren't so bloody long and hard to slot into your day.

The Boys: Payback

 "He's trying to get in my ass!"

I'm not sure there's much I can say about THAT particular CGI-heavy scene that is a twisted parody of Fantastic Voyage with added sexual bizarreness and gore, but... yeah. It pretty much epitomises The Boys. There's no point thinking "don't go there"; it will. That's why we love it.

Although I will now never think of the Atom or Ant Man  in the same way again. Ahem.

Anyway, as a season opener this is a masterpiece. It introduces and develops an impressive number of characters and threads with wit and aplomb. It's all logically developed, too, in ways that work perfectly with the characters. So Billy chafes at having Hughie as his boss, while Hughie seems happy and contented reducing supe killings by 60% working for Congresswoman Victoria Neumann... until he discovers, at the end, that she has a past, and incidentally that she makes heads explode.

There's so much going on, though. The animosity between Homelander and the gone-to-seed A-Train, who no longer runs. The fact that Edgar wants Starlight to be co-boss of the Seven with Homelander, pissing off the infantile superman and poisoning the rather good sexual dynamic between Annie and Hughie. It's the temptation of power: will she be corrupted? Will she use it for good? Hughie certainly could have reacted better, particuarly as the ex (from a reality show to audition the next member of the Seven, a delicious concept) is so wet.

Fascinatingly, though, we have Homelander trying to connect with Billy of all people- going clean for his son- after visiting a hospitalised and permanently disabled Stormfront who unrequitedly worships (and, er, hand jobs!) him as an ubermensch ("No one suffers like you do" uttered by a paraplegic half-blind Nazi). We also have a director who gets off sexually on being humiliated on how shit a director he is, and... yeah. Welcome to a new series of The Boys, ladies and gentlemen.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 3- The Monster and the Superhero

 "They're nobodies. And you're a superhero."

This season is getting better and better. And also, for this episode at least, slightly shorter, which makes it somewhat easier to squeeze in an episode and blog it.

We see lots more awesomely done CGI of the Upside Down, with the house and with Vecna at the centre of the web looking terrifying. He doesn't do much this time- well, until the very end- but just stands around looking terrifying as investigation happens. And we learn stuff. Robin and Nancy have a hilarious dynamic together, and also it seems Vecna's first known killings happened in 1959, long before Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson did their alchemy, with poor old Victor Creel perhaps taking the rap.

The witch hunt against Eddie continues, as menacing as any monster, with Lucas caught awkwardly in the middle, a dilemma portrayed superbly by Caleb McLaughlin. The bromance between Dustin and Steve, who are both awesome, is as touching as ever.

But that ending? Both previous victims had an association with the trailer park and seem to have been dealing with trauma... how could we have possibly have imagined that Max was safe, even before she sees the grandfather clock that must surely be the harbinger of her doom? There's hope in that she get's a cliffhanger, I suppose. But if they kill her I shall not be best pleased.

This is brilliant.