Stranger Things: Season 5, Chapter 8- The Rightside Up

 "Oh, I was planning on carelessness...!"

I saw this finale last night, and I'm glad I've let it sink in a little before articulating my thoughts. There is, of course, one rather large plot hole- the gang, having destroyed the Upside Down and saved the world, end up in the custody of Sarah Connor and her toy soldiers. Why aren't they all arrested, prosecuted and sentenced to those absurdly harsh prison sentences of which America, with its extraordinarily huge prison population, is so fond? Regardless of morality, they've all surely broken several important laws. But I think we can safely forgive and handwave this. Because the episode is a masterpiece,

The way the threat is resolved is superb. We have two hours of run time, plenty of time for each character to breathe, with lots of nice little scenes between pairs of characters- especially the reconciliation between Jonathan and Steve. It's fitting that Vecna, whatever he may think, is ultimately just another vessel and the real Big Bad is a freaking massive CGI monster. And the whole gang work together to destroy it before Sarah Connor ruins everything... and yes, there's no hope for Eleven after all. There never could have been. Those waterfalls always were a pipe dream.

This is, of course, very bleak. But by the end of the episode we nevertheless haven't turned to despair. Because Stranger Things never really was about the supernatural threat- it's about the characters, about growing up, about how we all deal with adversity together. About how, yes, the world is full of suffering, unfairness and death, but how we can nevertheless find joy and make our own meaning. 

Which is why we need this long coda for the characters to be seen to be getting on with their lives, pursuing their dreams and friendships, dealing with their grief. Life goes on. The proposal scene with Joyce and Hopper is so very wonderful, as is Hopper's speech to Mike on healthy and unhealthy ways of grieving, lessons we will all need at some point.

But there is also fun. It's 1989, the end of the decade. We have the Pixies! Dustin gives a wonderful valedictorian speech, including a tribute to Eddie. And we end, of course, with D&D (or rather, I assume, 2nd edition AD&D!), with a beautiful imagined happy ending for El. It's just Mike's fantasy, of course. But sometimes we need to believe in comforting fictions, and that's ok.

The perfect finale.

Stranger Things: Season 5, Chapter 7- The Bridge

 "Guess you didn't need truth serum, huh?"

So Max is awake. Her muscles are weak, she's in a wheelchair for now, but these things will pass. It's very much penultimate episode from this point onwards, though, with high stakes. And, despite some oddly negative reviews for this episode (Far right culture warriors getting mardy about a certain scene I'll discuss later, foreshadowed early on by Joyce geeing up Will?)

Now, I saw this episode and its two predecessors in one sitting, with Little Miss Llamastrangler, and blogged all three based mainly on my note but, inevitably, also by a certain amount of memory. So I boobed by saying in my last blog post (now amended) that it revealed the lore that the Upside Down is not another dimension but merely a wormhole, connecting Hawkins to a not-very-nice dimension which Dustin dubs "the Abyss" and is presumably the source of the Demogorgons and such. It is, of course, in this episode that Dustin, armed with Brenner's notebook and a very big brain, gets that rather awesome exposition scene.

Plans are made. The gang is going in. Will is pivotal, he must be strong... so we have that amazing coming out scene, one of the most moving scenes in all of Stranger Things and also one of the most satisfying. Mike's musical taste- the Butthole Surfers and the Replacements- is exquisite. But not all is positive. There are unresolved issues between El and Hopper- will Hopper die with them unresolved in the finale? Then there's Kali telling Eleven that there's no hope and they both need to stay in the expunged Upside Down and die. Then there's Holly who, after all that, is recaptured and heavily gaslit. Henry has all the kids and begins his plan.

Awesome stuff, of course. But some predictions for the finale. Who will live and who will die?

I wonder if Hopper will die, as above. Kali, but not Eleven. Max is probably the safest character- the Duffer Brothers wouldn't put her through all that with the coma only to kill her, right? Surely not the core gang- Dustin, Lucas, El, Mike and Will. Not Nancy and Jonathan, who have just fixed their relationship. But, if that's the case... what about Steve?

Stranger Things: Season 5, Chapter 6- Escape from Camazotz

 "Before you say anything... I know it's five o'clock in the morning, but I need you to build me a telemetry tracker."

Fortunately, in the light of what we soon learn, Nancy's shot does only minor damage, despite the pyrotechnics, because we get some fascinating new lore here: the Upside Down is not what we thought, as outside is simply void. This is pretty damn cool.

So is the lovely scene between Nancy and Jonathan, within which they reconnect and confirm their love by not getting engaged at what would have been the wrong time. Plus they don't die, which is nice. We also have a nice scene with Dustin and Steve reconciling, and one in which Joyce and Hopper bond on what we parents know is the impossible question- how to get the balance right between being overprotective of your child and risking harm. The characterisation for this episode in particular is superb, but one could say the same for the season as a whole.

But the main focus of the episode is Max and Holly's eponymous escape from Camazotz. Holly's cleverness finds the way out in a superb sequence of scenes which also reveal that Henry was carrying some serious childhood trauma. This, of course, makes sense, with him as a metaphor for abuse. The cycle of abuse is a terrible thing.

With Holly having made the breakthrough, Max in turn helps her to find her own portal, albeit not to Hawkins but where her physical body is. But Max is in trouble- Vecna has Will, and is cruelly gaslighting him with "vessels" and "new and better worlds", and goading him with how he's Vecna's unwitting accomplice.

Even worse, he uses Will's mind to locate Max's body, leading to the awesome hospital sequence which brings the episode to an exciting climax, while also resolving the tension between Robin and Vickie. Yes, the Demogorgons do rather seem to be taking their time finding the gang, but Karen Wheeler to the rescue....

Another superb episode. I have high hopes that the Duffer Brothers will stick the landing. Fingers crossed...

Stranger Things: Season 5, Chapter 5- Shock Jock

"There are no happy endings, Jane. Not for us."

We begin (incidentally, Frank Darabont of Walking Dead fame directs), despite the awesome revelations about Will last episode, with the gang in a downbeat mood, positive and lovely that Joyce may be; Vecna has all the kids. This is bad on the surface as Vecna's plans are not at all good, but there's a definite subtext to Henry and it's a creepy one, one of grooming, noncery and such vile things which, sadly exist. So, yeah, let's actually release the Epstein files, hmm? Wouldn't it be lovely if they were leaked by someone beyond Dementia Donnie's reach.

We get reminded of Lucas' theoretical 6 November "deadline", which is at once diegetic and non-diegetic. So things are high stakes. Plus we now have, after last episode's events, Kali, whose own story is pretty damn bleak... Sarah Connor needed her blood to give to captive pregnant women in order to make more "numbers". And, this time around, the season is airing at a time when we can truly believe that the US government is evil, what with CECOT, the state terrorists of ICE, and all that. If Vecna is a metaphor for vile abuse, Sarah Connor is a metaphor for MAGA fascism.

Still, we have plans by the gangs. Joyce has faith in her awesome son, and wants him to go on the attack against Vecna, and this ends up happening by means of... well, the reason for the episode title. Meanwhile, Dustin plans to break through the wall in the Upside Down by means of a Death Star analogy. What could possibly go wrong?

The end is bleak. Max and Holly plot their escape, with some surprising help from Derek, but the first attempt never succeeds in such cases, and they end up in Vecna's clutches. Yes, Will attacks Vecna and helps them escape, but he's ultimately defeated, and rendered as comatose as Max is. Even worse, Dustin has a terrifying realisation...

This season is simply on fire, this episode as much as any, and I'm really liking the subtext.

Stranger Things: Season 5, Chapter 4- Sorcerer

 "Henry is a lot of things, but in trouble with the monsters is not one of them."

Wow. That episode was a bit good, to put it mildly. But I'll open with my only gripe before I go on to the gushing... Stranger Things takes such care over the '80s period detail, but seems to get sloppy when it comes to D&D, and we have a particularly wincing example here. Mike's pep talk to Will is great, but it's anachronistic, because the sorcerer character class, as opposed to the magic user or wizard, was not introduced until 3rd edition in 2000, whereas in 1987 things were very much either OD&D or 1st edition. This may seem a minor point to those who don't play D&D, but it's basic stuff and certainly not a minor error.

That aside, though, this episode is pretty much flawless. I'm relieved to see so much of Max here. She may spend pretty much doing exposition to Holly, but it's truly magnificent, conceptually mind-blowing exposition that both answers questions and asks them. Is Henry/Vecna in some kind of psychic prison?

The Great Escape set piece is awesome, of course. So is Dustin's breakthrough with the wall in the Upside Down, and the scenes between Eleven and Hopper are both exciting and great in terms of characterisation. I like the bait and switch- we expect to find Vecna in that room, but we find Eight.

That final sequence, though, with all those Demogorgons, all the children taken by Vecna and all seeming lost.... but then Will gets the pep talk from Vecna (Why? What is Vecna planning for Will? Because this is a crucial thread this season.) and realises he has powers...

Now that's what I call a cliffhanger. And that's what I call bloody good telly, much though I may worry that the insanely high production values provide simply impossible competition to the rest of telly.

Roll on Christmas.

Stranger Things: Season 5, Chapter 3- The Turnbow Trap

 "No, we're saving a child via kidnapping."

I know, I'm getting rather behind: bear with me, it's my condition. All will be well after the op. Meanwhile, though, I have Little Miss Llamastrangler with me for Christmas (yay!) and so not bingeing Stranger Things is absolutely not a thing this week.

This episode is, basically, magnificent. All that stuff with Holly and Henry is splendidly fairytale, right down to the Red Riding Hood outfit, and the reveal with Max is a magnificent shock... but makes total sense. I assume her mind has been there since going into the coma, that Henry wants to keep Holly away from the forest in order to stop her meeting Max, and it was in fact Max who wrote the note? We shall see!

I'm loving the character moments. Murray urging Jonathan to propose to Nancy. The stuff between Will and Joyce. Will asking Robin about the experience of being gay. Dustin doing that to Steve's car.

All that, and we get a superb Home Alone type set piece. We finally get to see Erica again- it's about time; she's awesome. We get hints- does Dr Sarah Connor really have Vecna's physical body as a prisoner? What's her angle, though, besides wanting Eleven?

This episode has it all- the set pieces, the character moments, Winona Ryder's superb acting. One more to go until I'm caught up...

Stranger Things: Season 5, Chapter 2- The Vanishing of Holly Wheeler

 "Heavens to Betsy!"

This season continues to be brilliant, in terms of script and acting. It also looks amazing, a case in point being the initial sequence of the Demogorgon going after Holly and ultimately taking her, despite Karen's heroism and unorthodox usage of a wine bottle (fortunately, she'd drunk it earlier!)- it looks incredibly expensive on screen. And, well, it probably was. Clever, too, that the episode title harks back to the first ever episode, with Holly being in the same position as Will was... hence, I assume, the sequence at the start of last episode.

And I'll never listen to ABBA in the same way again...

The characters generally pair off so they get to interact, have character moments and be well used. Hence Robin and Will pairing off to rebelliously enact Operation Antennae behind Joyce's back, while singularly and ironically remaining in their respective closets, each of them unaware that the other is gay. Hence the lovely scene between El and Hopper as they come to understand each other and reconcile- both of them are stubborn punk asses, but they love each other. And... well, Hopper may be overprotective as a parent, but we understand why he's like that. And Sarah Connor has seen El in the car with Nancy. Oops. I bet the authorities cause lots of trouble arising from this...

Lucas is underused, but I appreciate how wise he's shown to be. Max is even more underused, a main character just lying down with eyes closed for two episodes. I hope things are as they seem and she's about to wake up.

Dustin is ok, mercilessly, just beaten up by townies who need taking down a peg or two. Him and Steve clashing over his reckless provocations is good stuff- they both care, but they're too emotionally constipated. And Steve's home truths to Jonathan about him and Nancy make for one unhappy van. But Steve, right now, is right about everything.

The ending is a shock, though, as Nancy (that hair, er, yeah...) and Mike discover that Holly's imaginary friend seems to have been... Vecna. Oh dear...

This is quite the climax and, once again, quite the episode. Season Five is firing on all cylinders so far.

Stranger Things: Season 5, Chapter 1- The Crawl

 "What is it about your presence that brings out your inner Neanderthal?"

I've missed Stranger Things... but then it's been three sodding years and, personally, soooo much life has happened since then.

No denying it, though: this is wonderful stuff, a strong and very fun first episode, letting all the characters breathe and remind us why we adore them so. It's November 1987, about a year later, Hawkins is rebuilding, quarantined, with a strong military presence investigating the Upside Down... and the doctor in charge of all this is played by Linda Hamilton, for once not playing Sarah Connor, in a bit of truly '80s-tastic casting.

The opening sequence, taking us back to the events of Will's disappearance, looks incredible and, yes, cinematic, meaning incredibly expensive. Most of the episode consists of the gang, a well-oiled machine at this point, at first planning and then executing their latest "crawl". It's gripping viewing and... yes, those last few scenes are cinematic, meaning incredibly expensive.

And... yeah. This is all awesome, but the flip side of this is that it's the perfect illustration of how the streaming model is just not sustainable. Television can't always look like blockbuster cinema, with the same production values, it can't always have such a low episode count per season and, yes, three years between seasons is far too damn long- one can't exactly criticise them for aging at a rate of one year per annum, but the "kids" all look about thirty-seven years old. And yet... can we put the genie back in the bottle? Will the public ever accept "normal" television production values ever again?

Such matters aside, though, this is amazing. There's upset- Dustin is such a good friend, always washing the graffiti off Eddie's grave, but he seems in very serious trouble from those vile bullies. I hope they get their comeuppance and, indeed, that Eddie's reputation is redeemed. Hopper's care for El is touching. And, most of all, Robin is the best DJ ever. And that cliffhanger...

More please?

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 9- The Piggyback

 "I piggybacked from a pizza dough freezer..."

Ooh. This was quite the finale. And I've got to write about it now.

Essentially, the writing was first class, despite the perhaps understandable plot armour for the kids and main characters; many of us guessed many episodes ago which character was going to die. Yet, this aside, the writing is flawless, magisterial, not only tying all the ends up but giving us so many very real character moments. Yes, the length is insane for a television episode. Yet every second is earned. There is zero padding. And the direction, cinematography, acting, sets, design are all superlative. All this and we get a splendid rendition of"Master of Puppets" too. Not only that, but we close with Siouxie and the Banshees and "Spellbound". This is the '80s' best self.

Let's talk about Eddie. I love the man: he's a teenager at school, a metalhead, he runs a D&D campaign, he may have smoked slightly naughty substances on occasion. He's basically me, a decade earlier and several tgousand miles to the west. Yet he comes from a place of grinding poverty; we certainly don't have trailer parks in the UK, we have a (rapidly disintegrating and evilly Kafkaesque) Welfare State instead. It's noble. Kids like Eddie should be in art school and in a band. Alas, he lives in Indiana.

Yet, cool and awesome though he is, he has a tragic flaw: he deals in drugs, not just weed but the hard stuff. This is what gives the Duffer Brothers permission to kill him. Yet, as he's awesome, he dies a hero. He's like the soldier who worries he might let the side down and fail to be brave, because he's scatred. Yet it's almost a cliche that such characters always end up heroes. Fear isn't cowardice. One has to feel fear for bravery to have meaning. Eddie dies a hero. All his sins are expunged. Those who hate him can **** off. And yes.Dustin's speech to his dad is beautiful.

Let's talk about Max, who is so very brave, and who is hopefully not dead, and will wake up. She faces her fears, her very deep fears, and acknowledges her very human and very understandable character flaws. Sadie Sink's acting is incredible... as is that of Caleb McLaughlin as a heroic and heartbroken Lucas, who concludes his own character arc by rejecting popularily in favour of geeky realness. Good for him. Top bloke.

And let us talk about the beautiful love between Joyce and Hopper. Between Eleven and Mike. Between Dustin and Eddie. Between brothers Jonathan and Will. These characters are all real and human, despite the CGS and the otherworldly awesomeness. All of them, including Yuri, who finds some decency at the end.

This season was comprised of insanely long episodes. Yet it deserved that. This is fine, fine telly.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 8- Papa

 "If we're trying to avoid angry hicks, maybe we shouldn't go to a store named The War Zone?"

And so the run of uber-long episodes with ensemble casts continues. It should be over-bloated. It shouldn't work. It does.

Where to start? Eleven's story is amazing, from the betrayal of "Papa" to her perfect verbal denunciation to the dying doctor's face, right after she crashes the helicopter after trying to kill her. Her story in this episode uncannily (deliberately?) echoes that of Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back, using  her Jedi powers to lift a metal shack and being torn between further necessary training and saving her friends. This has to be a deliberate echo. And her constant gaslighting by "Papa" is every bit as creepy as intendeds.

Then there's the lovely chat between oh-so-brave Max and a lovelorn Lucas. There's Will's selfless act of loving froendship as he reassues Mike about Eleven's need for him- noticed by Jonathan. There's the beautiful love between Joyce and Hopper as they keep trying to escape from Siberia in the most entertainingly funny subplot.

Oh, and the Soviets are breeding tons of Demogorgons in jars. For next season?

Prediction: Eddie's going to die next episode. He's funny, he's cool, we like him. He's scary, but not a coward. He tells Dustin to "never change". He's doomed.

This, if it needed telling, is superlative telly.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 7- Massacre at Hawkins Lab

 "Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket..."

SPOILERS. Be warned. .

But, like, wow. I mean, yes, there are other plot threads- although the California contingent are suspiciously absent from the whole episode, suggesting that they have big things to come. But, well before we discuss Eleven's memories and the huge bombshell, let's do a tour of the characters.

So the police are a bit wet. Dustin, Lucas, Max and especially Erica are awesome. Yet poor Nancy, Robin, Steve and interestingly Eddie fare well in the Upside Down- Eddie in particular being his cool metalhead, D&D self. The kids avoid the police materdfully. The bikes blatantly reference ET.

And we get the suspense of the veryblovely Joyce and the indefaiigable Murrat rescuing action hero Hopper and his mate... and the Russian Demogorgon.

Yet this is all about Eleven’s past, about who did. About who One is, who Vecna is. The revelation is masterfully handled, and will hopefully restore Eleven’s powers. It really does come as a huge revelation, masterfully delivered. Yet we end worried about Nancy.

There’s so much character stuff here. The bug between Joyce and Hopper. The chat between Steve and Eddie where they connect and Eddie tells him not to let Nancy go. Erica being awesome. Dustin being a genius.

I now need to wait until 1 July. Bastards.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 6- The Dive

 “What’s the Internet?”

Obviously, this is bloody good. It's Stranger Things. But things are getting pretty intense in all plot arcs, and something has to give.

There's one arc, pleasingly, which is there to provide contrasting light relief, as the California kids find Suzie in Salt Lake City, where her highly religious Mormon family prove to be... not quite as expected. But her dad is a dick, keeping her away from Dustin just because the lad doesn't believe in God. I hope he gets his just desserts. Still, Suzie fulfils her plot function while the whole plot thread lightens the mood. Plus it's always amusing seeing early Internet stuff.

But there are not many laughs elsewhere as the tension builds, although Joyce and Murray have some fun at Yuri's expense in Siberia. Hopper, though, isn't having much fun at all, facing imminent sacrifice to a Demogorgon.

Eleven is having a fascinating but horrible time reliving repressed memories in order to get her powers back, while the Hawkins contingent are caught between Vecna (not much apparent this episode, despite Steve finding the, ahem, "Watergate"), the cops and a frenzied mob whipped up by the conspiracy theory weirdos. This mob is by far the most terrifying thing in this season, Vecna included.

The cliffhanger is incredible. There's great character stuff here too- Nancy and Robin bonding; Max and Lucas slowly manoeuvring to hopefully get together again. This is simply awesome.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 5- The Nina Project

 "You're bigger than Madonna to them!"

Yet again we have an insanely long episode that juggles so many plot threads and so many characters, and does so with real aplomb. This season is extraordinary, and this episode, with the Creel mansion as a haunted house, is more Lovecraftian than ever. So much so that the subtitles keep describing sound effects as "eldritch".

Much of the episode is taken up with the splendidly directed sequences of Eleven in her own, very dreamlike, Groundhog Day, back with "Papa" in that hellish institute from whence she came, regaining her powers but at the price of facing the demons of her bloody past. Meanwhile, the conspiract theorist loons nearly catch up with Eddie, until Vecna gets one of their number. And there's excitement for Joyce and Murray as they escape from Yuri while crash landing a plane.

But it's all about the chatacter moments, too. A severely depressed Hopper thinking he's a curse who destroys all he loves. A sweet moment between Max and Lucas. An ironic conversation aboit the pains of potentially unrequited love between Mike and Will. A frisson, again, between Nancy and Steve. Robin being awesome, as ever.

There are, I think, a few more clues about Vecna. But I'm clueless, and that's how I like it. This is excellent telly.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 4- Dear Billy

 "I am still very much in Hell..."

No Eleven this episode, although her absence is very much felt. But we get a fittingly creepy cameo from an eyeless Robert Englund, and lots of arc stuff happening- as well as excellent character development- in what is the longest episode yet.

In California, Mike and Will reaffirm their friendship a little, but they and Jonathan are forced to flee due to the slightly alarming occurrence of feds with guns trying to kill them. Lucas has had enough, and abandons the cool but conspiracy theory-obsessed kids for his true friends. And, in the centrepiece of the whole episode, Robin and Nancy hear Victor Creel's story from his own lips, in a magnificently gripping performance from Freddy Krueger himself.

Oh, and we get a dramatic and nail-biting escape attempt from the tough-as-nails Hopper, only for him to be recaprtured through betrayal.. with Joyce and Murray also fated for the gulag.

But it's all about Max, Sadie Sink's aazing acting, and a focus on Max's demons, literal and metaphorical in an amazing bit of character development as she works through her complex feelings about Billy, and why she pushes people away. She seems doomed, although Vecna rather fortunately seems to be taking his time killing her, until her ever-reliable friends, and Kate Bush, come running up that hill to the rescue. It's phenomenal, and anything that makes young 'uns discover '80s Kate Bush has to be a very good thing indeed.

This is amazing. If only the episodes weren't so bloody long and hard to slot into your day.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 3- The Monster and the Superhero

 "They're nobodies. And you're a superhero."

This season is getting better and better. And also, for this episode at least, slightly shorter, which makes it somewhat easier to squeeze in an episode and blog it.

We see lots more awesomely done CGI of the Upside Down, with the house and with Vecna at the centre of the web looking terrifying. He doesn't do much this time- well, until the very end- but just stands around looking terrifying as investigation happens. And we learn stuff. Robin and Nancy have a hilarious dynamic together, and also it seems Vecna's first known killings happened in 1959, long before Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson did their alchemy, with poor old Victor Creel perhaps taking the rap.

The witch hunt against Eddie continues, as menacing as any monster, with Lucas caught awkwardly in the middle, a dilemma portrayed superbly by Caleb McLaughlin. The bromance between Dustin and Steve, who are both awesome, is as touching as ever.

But that ending? Both previous victims had an association with the trailer park and seem to have been dealing with trauma... how could we have possibly have imagined that Max was safe, even before she sees the grandfather clock that must surely be the harbinger of her doom? There's hope in that she get's a cliffhanger, I suppose. But if they kill her I shall not be best pleased.

This is brilliant.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 1- The Hellfire Club

 “I like boobies. You like boobies.”

It’s back. And it’s… seventy-seven minutes long. With the following six episodes to be released thus far being a similar length. Gulp. Oh, and those episodes don’t even comprise the whole season.

This is the biggest season of Stranger Things this far. Judging by this highly eventful first episode, although there’s a long way to go, early signs are that it’s a contender for the best.

There are, by now, so many characters to keep track of. Now in California we have Eleven, being bullied, and Will, while Joyce discovers a clue in a creepy Russian doll (brrr!) that Hopper may still be alive. Simultaneously, in Hawkins, Lucas is turning away from geekdom towards basketball and the popular kids, but his awesome sister Erica is more than a suitable replacement.

There’s more. Steve and Robin make great friends, talking about girls they like. There’s a new, awesome, weed dealing geek metalhead character, Eddie. And there’s the poor girl who is so horribly and effectively killed by Vecna who, as is traditional, is a D&D baddie- in this case, I believe, a lich from the Greyhawk campaign. Incidentally, I loved seeing the 1st Edition AD&D paraphernalia.

So far there’s a lot of very well done character stuff, and the villain seems to be terrifying in a way that truly uses the grammar of cinematic horror. It’s very well directed indeed by the Duffer Brothers. And I’m already hooked.

Loving the title too; I suspect it's a reference not so much to Joseph Dashwood as to Chris Claremont.

Stranger Things: Season 3, Chapter Eight: The Battle of Starcourt Mall

“Dusty-bun!”

Here it is, then: not only the season finale but the last episode so far, bringing Mrs Llamastrangler and myself fully up to date meaning we’ll have to find something else to do with our evenings once we’ve finished adulting. Gulp.

We begin with Joyce and Hopper finally reaching the food court and joining the rest of the gang so they can all work out how they’re going to save the world this time. The first order of business, between a capable Jonathan and El herself, is to remove that nasty infection from that would- and it is indeed a nasty baby Mind Flayer. Eeeeuuurgh.

But then comes the plan, and fortunately Murray has a map. This time he, Joyce and Hopper are to close the portal, Dustin and his gang for most of the season are in charge of radio commercials, and everyone else has the vital task of being peril monkeys. Sorted.

Interesting that the Russians remain baddies throughout, but I’m not sure I but that, given the fact they don’t want the Mind Flayer to destroy everything- they want the world to be red, not dead- that they remain antagonists all the way through. Isn’t that nice young Mr Gorbachev someone we can do business with?

The plot proceeds as Hopper and co amusingly smile and nod their way towards the portal and the kids get well and truly imperilled by the Mind Flayer in a truly massive and highly entertaining set piece.  There’s also a nice scene where Billy sabotages their cat and tries to ram them, but ultimately this is just a cool distraction, although Jonathan again shows himself to be very capable at the sort of car stuff that is most certainly a great mystery to me.

It’s cute that the way into the room with the portal requires Planck’s constant, and we get this from none other than Dusty-bun’s very own Suzie-poos, although it is of course necessary to do a duet of the entire theme tune of The Never-Ending Story first, as waded figure in the ‘80s. I mean, yes, the Mind Flayer is getting bigger, El’s powers seem to be MIA and the fireworks are running out, but standards are standards.

But the closing of the portal requires Hopper to win an epic fight with the evil Comrade Motorbike, and Joyce can only close the portal by letting him die. That last nod between them as she presses the buttons is heartbreaking. As is the fact that Joyce lost a boyfriend last season and now is losing another one before they ever got to have that date. Duffer Brothers, you are bastards, every bit as evil as Joss Whedon.

Oh, and Billy dies too. It’s nice that Max is genuinely devastated in spite of everything.

Joyce runs out to Will and hugs him.. and El has no father to hug. It’s utterly tear jerking and no wonder, three mo this later that Joyce, Jonathan, a newly nature Will and the still powerless but kindly adopted El are leaving, with some meaningful partings, especially Nancy and Jonathan, now truly in love, and while Mike can’t get the words out to El she is able to say “I love you too”. Aww! And do t even mention that last voiceover from Hopper, that speech to her he never really gave, except that it’s bloody clever plotting.

But what’s this after the titles have finished? A gulag in the Kamchatka Peninsula? A myseterious American Prisoner? Inmates fed to...a Demogorgon?

Utterly sublime. So much so that I’m running out of words to praise it. And no fourth season until 2021...? Real time sucks.

Stranger Things: Season 3, Chapter Seven- The Bite

“We all die, my strange little child friend.”

The penultimate episode begins with, well, rather cheery scenes of a Fourth of July funfair via Karen and her family seeing some possibly CGI fireworks from the top of the Ferris wheel. Only their little girl commenting on the trees moving (I’m sure the reference to Ents is deliberate) suggest that there is anything amiss, but amiss things certainly are, as Eleven is at a low ebb after her recent encounter with “Billy”- and a massive Mind Flayer is suddenly after them. They certainly seem to be in a bit of a pickle, as the big set piece with the Mind Flayer sending it’s pointy teethed tentacles through the windows is utterly bloody terrifying, and while El manages to beat it back so they can all drive off she is wounded.

Meanwhile Dustin, Erica, and a still somewhat stoned Robin and Steve manage to escape to the cinema, which has a brand new film playing- Back to the Future, which is quite rightly dwelt upon somewhat. I love Robin and Steve’s stoned conversation about the timey-wimeyness.

Meanwhile, Murray continues to be most perceptive about Joyce and Hopper just needing to get a bloody room, and his exchange with Alexei on the subject is bloody hilarious. Also amusing is that Lucas’ idea for a weapon against the baddie- fireworks- is again pooh poohed, although we know his ideas always seem to work. I note his catapult saves the gang from the Mind Flayer, too, in the ensuing set piece in the foyer. I also like how Mike is saved from having to tell El that he loves her by Dustin’s “code red”...

There’s a poignant scene, though, in the toilet(!), Where Dustin explains his feelings for Robin, only for her to unexpectedly and gently explain that her preferences are for another gender- and Steve proceeds to not be a dick about it and make very clear that he just wants to be good friends. A potential romance is derailed, but both characters are rather lovely here.

There’s an amusing scene with Joyce and Hopper in the Graviton (Do they still have that in Alton Towers? I haven’t been on one since about ‘93), but this is juxtaposed with Alexei, just when he’s had a bit of fun, being shot by his motorbiking fellow Russian. Murray is devastated; we’ve seen this odd friendship developing and Murray is now fully on board with the mission.

There’s a splendid set piece between Hopper and Motorbike Comrade in the hall of mirrors, and Dustin and co finally reunite with the other kids- with Lucas amazed to see Erica. But El collapses with what I’m sure is not a normal infected wound, and we have only an Uber-long finale to go.

Obviously, this is awesome. Saying that almost seems superfluous.

Stranger Things: Season 3, Chapter Five- The Flayed

“Can you redirect your stream please?”

We rejoin with the lift going down, down, down, until it stops and, er, Steve falls on his groin. They’re trapped, but Erica is super cool as ever. I’d say already that she’s passed the audition as they all stay relatively calm for quite a while in spite of bladder issues. Meanwhile Joyce and Hopper search the house of the motorbike man, and after hearing Russian voices they soon end up with two Soviet captives- until the big boss arrives (the subtitles call him Grigory but I do t think we’re supposed to know that) and a big set piece fight begins. Ultimately Hopper and Joyce escape with one of the Russians, but they are clearly being pursued.

There’s still time for some ‘80s flavour, though, and so it’s good to see a poster for R.E.M.’s “Murmur” on Jonathan’s wall, keeping him in our eyes as someone with unremittingly good musical taste, a character trait recently neglected. Personally I find the production alienating as it sounds completely unlike what the band would become, in spite of a strong set of tunes.

Anyway, Jonathan gets a 6am call from an alarmed Nancy at the hospital, urgently needing to speak to Will after what she's seen- the Mind Flayer is back. This leads to the pair of them joining the kids, a pivotal plot moment, just as Millie is using her powers to find Hopper and Joyce in the woods with said Russian, trying to get to Hopper’s acquaintance in Illinois.

Meanwhile, underground, with bladders straining, clever Steve gets everyone out of the lift and into... a long, empty corridor. Yes, this scene is pretty much padding until they get to the lab but that’s ok because the interaction of the characters is splendid, especially Dustin telling Erica, with the authority of My Little Pony, that shes a nerd too. Ouch.

While this is going on, Nancy and Jonathan Deal stories with the kids, bringing their respective strands together, working out that, if Heather has been turned, Tom must have been too, so it’s off to the family home and the scene of the crime. Meanwhile Hopper and Joyce, amusingly, are saved by Alexie who finds that grand American institution, the 7 Eleven, which I don’t believe I visited on any of my four visits to the country, a curious omission. Here unfold various amusing scenes of fast food consumption and car theft in what is certainly becoming the plot thread with the most comic relief.

More progress is made by Dustin and co, working out that the mall must exist as cover for what lies underneath. This, of course, brings up the awkwardness that Robin and Erica don’t know the weird stuff that’s happened. The kids make progress too, though, working out that the Mind Flayer must have a base of operations somewhere, that Mrs D wants to get there, so why not go to the hospital and use her as bait? What could possibly go catastrophically, cliffhangeringly wrong?

Then we have the highlight of the episode, as Hopper’s friend in Illinois is the conspiracy theorist from last season, who happens to speak Russian, a good excuse to have him back- and he’s immediately perceptive about the relationship between Joyce and Hopper. But more is discovered by Dustin and co who finally emerge into the lab.... which clearly centres on a massive portal into the Upside Down, as alluded to at the start of the first time and explaining a lot. There’s also interesting scenes in the hospital as Nancy and Jonathan make up, him cheerfully admitting he’s wrong, and there is much weirdness with American chocolate bars. Their Kit Kats look bizarre. Their Marathons were called Snickers even in 1985. Does not compute.

Almost, but not quite, as horrifying is that Tom and his odious mate are waiting, having been got at by the Mind Flayer, and the ensuing scenes of them trying to get Nancy are pure horror. But not as horrifying as what happens next as both baddies dissolve into an ooze which re-forms into a terrifying and very well-realised monster. Oh dear.

Yeah. That was very good.

Stranger Things: Season 3, Chapter Four- The Sauna Test

”Commence Operation Child Endangerment!”

Another splendid episode of investigation, but also one of progress this time, plus some nice little character touches; Max is a regular reader of Wonder Woman! I’m afraid my knowledge of the ‘80s scene is very, very Marvel with my knowledge of the Disgruntled Competition focused mainly on Batman, John Byrne’s Superman, Justice League International and the usual stuff by Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman- was Wonder Woman any good in 1985?

Anyway, editor Tom and his wife have been well and truly got at by Billy- and that horrible beast underground whom everyone seems to be sacrificed to, a kind of miniature Mind Flayer, seems to such up their faces which... well, uuurgh.

Tom is visibly sweating while bollocking Nancy and Jonathan for their unauthorised investigations, with Mrs Driscoll in hospital and an awful lot of trouble, but seems pretty much himself as he sacks the pair of them. Both of them are devastated and have a bit of a row, which is revealing; Nancy did it because she was fed up of being treated as a young woman in a man’s world, understandably. It went beyond being young and working your way up; this was real, nasty, misogyny. Then again, she comes from a well off family and can afford this setback. Jonathan doesn’t, and can’t.

One consequence, though, is a lovely scene between her and her mother, Karen. In the first season there were many scenes of Karen helplessly failing to connect with her daughter but they really bond over this, and Karen is fantastic, urging her not to give up.

Will knows that the Mind Flayer is back, which means the party- Max and El included- are back together, minus the otherwise occupied Dustin, in spite of the awkwardness meaning that even Mine explaining what happened with Hopper just looks desperate and butters not a single parsnip.

We get an interesting scene where Joyce and Hopper investigate the dodgy Mayor- that bloke on the motorbike was there the last time they visited Town Hall, and it seems he was handing a bribe to the Mayor- a bribe for getting people to sell land next to the land for the mall to expand there- a possible source of the magnetic weirdness? This goes well, so much so that Hopper offers Joyce a police job, which would be perfect for a detective like her.

Even more brilliant, super sleuth Robin manages to get plans to the Russians’ warehouse, and cones up with the idea to use, as is traditional, air vents to reach the inner sanctum. Cue the utterly superb Erica who wangles herself a lifetime of free ice cream for doing the crawling. Erica is awesome. An equally cool idea is for the gang to test Billy for Mind Flayer influence by shoving him in a sauna, a brilliantly executed scene.

We end with trouble, though. Robin, Steve, Erica and Dustin arrive in the inner sanctum, see some mysterious glowing green object, but end up travelling down several floors as the room turns out to be a lift. And the gang’s confrontation with Billy turns out to be a tad dramatic, although at least it ends up revealing how much El and Mike are willing to do for each other. Once again, a splendid marriage of character and plot structure in what is a slow building but clever season based, unusually, more on intrigue than scares.

The final scenes see an investigating Nancy present as Mrs Driscoll is about to e pride, while Billy has turned dozens of people via that underground monster and, surreally, they all start creepily channelling Dame Vera Lynn...