The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

"Nobody tosses a dwarf!"

This is only my second viewing of this or, indeed, any of this magnificent trilogy. And, yes, with an appropriate nod to YouTube's How It should Have Ended (watch it for LOTR), it's magnificent. The three sodding hours actually passed very pleasantly.

The Lord of the Rings is an odd book, or trilogy, however you’re counting. I’m glad I read it at twelve, appendixes and all; I enjoyed it very much, but I fear the charms of its 1,200 plus pages would have likely eluded me if I’d been any older. Written by an Old English academic- I once cited an academic work of his while writing an essay on Beowulf- and intended to create the Germanic and Finnish myths he so loves, it isn’t a style of writing we’re used to in modern times. These days we have a literary genre called “fantasy”; that wasn’t so clearly the case at the time, and indeed The Hobbit was written for children. One odd thing about Lord of the Rings is the huge change from children’s pride in the shire to epic narrative for the rest of the novel but it is, of course, a work of genius.

So how does Peter Jackson film such a book? Well, brilliantly. His native New Zealand is a magnificent setting, and his cast is superb- Ian McKellen May stand out, but Christopher Lee is utter perfection as Saruman. Yet just as important is the magnificent direction and the scene that, for me, stands out is Christopher Lee’s performance in the scene where we discover that Saruman has betrayed Gandalf- the scene is a perfect synthesis of actor and camera as the extraordinary subtleties of Lee’s performance are echoes perfectly by the movements of the camera.

Wisely, Jackson does a faithful adaptation without cutting corners and, indeed, takes things from the appendixes to flesh out the narrative- particularly in an expanded role for Saruman which helps with the plot at this early stage but also, with Sauron himself being just an eye, giving a face to what the Fellowship is fighting. Seeing the Shire on screen makes is stand out from the high fantasy surrounding it: it’s odd to see a British work of high fantasy that features American crops such as tobacco and potatoes- or perhaps the “weed” is something else? It would make a lot of sense.

There’s one thing I don’t get, though. What’s so special about Sean Bean’s “One does not just walk into Mordor?” It’s a fairly nondescript line so why all them memes?

Doctor Who: The Tsuranga Conundrum

“It just ate my sonic!”

Well, I admit I’ve been waiting all season so far to say this, but, well, that was very Chibnall, wasn’t it? It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t great either. It just... was.

The regular cast are as great as ever, of course. And the Pting is a great monster, very Pokemon, both a cool concept and (this may be controversial...) looks awesome. The whole thing looks classy and well made, although it’s rather obviously the cheap studio episode full of inexpensive but adequate sets.

There are some nice sci-fi concepts too- l loved the concept of junk galaxies and, of course, the pregnant bloke, obviously there so Ryan can slowly begin to think about fatherhood and begin to understand his father, just a teenager when he was born. Yet again the four-strong TARDIS crew works well, and they’ve established a strong bond. I’m glad that dialogue early on established they’ve travelled a fair bit since last episode. And yet... it all feels very much by the numbers.

The real saving grace, though, is Jodie, elevating a series of mediocre to quite good scripts by her sheer charisma and Doctorishness. I am already seriously impressed by her, but I’m beginning to become really quite concerned by the humdrum nature of the scripts. Yes, Chibnall make good showrunner decisions, but his scripts are as formulaic and unispiring as ever they were. That was fine when he contributed just the odd script but not when he writes the bulk of the season, as he has so far. He can do character, he can do the big picture, but he’s lacking in depth, coolness and fun. And, while his decisions to go for the family audience again are quite correct and clearly successful, I think in the medium term that the standard of scripts needs to aspire to be more than just good enough. This is Doctor Who.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chosen

“Oh, you know me. Not much on the damselling."

So, this is it, after seven extraordinary and eventful years... and, with this being American network television, we still get the usual 42 minutes. Still, Joss himself is back to write and direct, so we know this will be good. and it bloody well is.

144 episodes ago we began our voyeuristic adventures of the Chosen One, a valley girl, a character always quick with a quip, but fundamentally (as we were often reminded) alone. She experienced lots of fun, lots of angst, lots of excitement, lots of peril and was always a walking feminist statement, a girl who didn’t need a man to rescue her.

The way we end here is the perfect distillation of all that and the perfect feminist statement. Buffy wins by socking it to the patriarchy, by questioning why on Earth there needs to be just the one Slayer just because a bunch of old people with penises said so, and using Willow’s gloriously feminine magic to smash that particular glass ceiling and make damn sure that every Pitentisl becomes a Slayer, now.

Oh, and if that weren’t enough, Buffy starts the episode by affectionately telling Angel to bugger off back to his own show and killing Caleb with a sword to the bollocks. You’ll excuse me if I don’t get up right now, but that’s quite the statement of intent.

There’s nuance, too, of course. The final episode takes time for Buffyvto golf out hope of getting together with Angel one day, to spend one last night with Spike, to imagine both of them wrestling with oil involved. We get to see Kennedy being a lovely girlfriend to Willow again in the night before battle, and signs that Robin may actually have been able to seduce Faith into seeing him as more than a one night stand. Shouldn’t she be off back to prison at the end, though? She’s no longer needed, and there’s more atonement that needs doing. This is the only sour note.

There’s more. We get the D&D scene, Giles gets one last “The Earth is definitely doomed” for old times sake, and Anya gets a heroic death saving Andrew. And then, of course, there’s Spike’s heroic sacrifice, with those heartrending last words as he gently tells Buffy that actually, he knows she doesn’t really love him but he appreciates the little white lie.

And so Sunnydale is gone, just a crater. No more High School, no more Hellmouth, no more mall, no more Bronze. I’ll miss the place. Thank you, Joss Whedon. He’s had a long and magnificent career but let’s not be silly: Buffy is his masterpiece.

Doctor Who: Arachnids in the UK

“Are you Ed Sheeran? Is he Ed Sheeran?”

Another script by Chris Chibnall and another episode which is well made, in this case with superb CGI in particular, but is, well, quite good. And no more than that. Steven Moffat was a genius writer but tended to write for fans (broadly defined) rather than a general family audience. Chibnall seems to be the reverse. Again he seems to be making smart decisions as showrunner, again he writes stuff that the general public seems to like, again he comes up with a script which is, well, ok.

Forget Moffat, though; the true comparison is with RTD, in terms of style if not talent. Season 37 echoes Season 27- The first episode introduces the new Doctor, then we have an episode in the future, one in the past, and then this: what we have here is the analogue for Aliens of London. The TARDISeers return to Sheffield, are embroiled in an exciting adventure with giant spiders and corporate greed (very topical, I suppose, and the script blatantly admits that the baddie is essentially Trump) and then decide to continue travelling. Oh, there are slight differences; Yaz’s mum being suspicious of the Doctor calls to mind Martha’s mum in Season 29. And indeed the whole TARDIS crew dynamic calls to mind Season One, but the point is, of course, that this is Doctor Who as a set formula, calculated carefully to use what works. What’s this with no pre-titles, though? That certainly seems to be a thing by now.

“Quite good” is still good, though; the spiders look great, and this Hallowe’en episode is suitably full of jump scares. Jodie Whittaker is still absolutely the Doctor, and I like all of Yaz, Ryan and Graham. The dynamic works well, with an ensemble cast allowing for characterisation to be shared out more. The direction is superb, especially the opening shots. And the ending, where all three of the Doctor’s friends choose to stay, is interesting. The Doctor seems very keen to mak sure they all make an informed decision to stay, and emphasises that she can’t guarantee their safety. Is someone going to die?

The bottom line is, though, that yet again I find an episode just quite good, no more than that. I want Doctor Who to amaze me again. Please?

The Birds (1963)

" I have never known birds of different species to flock together. The very concept is unimaginable. Why, if that happened, we wouldn't stand a chance. How could we possibly hope to fight them?"

This is probably the last film I'll be blogging before Hallowe'en. I wanted to do a horror film and considered all sorts- there were all sorts of more obvious candidates, but this film seemed irresistible. And it was the right choice.

I'd like to start with how I just don't care that the bird effects are sometimes dated and not quite right; it was 1963,the film is sufficiently well made to render it a minor issue (it's Hitchcock), and it works in context. But this film makes birds terrifying, and makes you fear that they will, indeed, all gang up together, attack you and peck out your eyes. It’s also a fascinating early ‘69s artefact in which everyone is Mr This or Mrs That, men wear hats and indeed suits for dinner at weekends, and there are all sorts of small “c” conservative indicators yet you just know that none of these people are so moronic as to have voted for that orange wanker. Sigh.

It’s a horror film through and through, with birds terrorising a Californian seaside town gradually but totally. Wonderfully, it offers no explanation of why birds have suddenly attacked humans, but it hints at a bleak, perhaps apocalyptic future while leaving the wider world building to our imagination, focusing on Melanie and her obsession with the handsome but rude Mitch and his interestingly characterised family. The main characters are all compelling and, indeed, the early scenes, very Hitchcock-like, appear to be pointing towards a screwball comedy, with the first scene being blatant romantic farce. But Hitchcock tends to play with genre tropes and then change path, which he does here with perfection.

Tippi Hedren is superb, yes, as is the entire cast. But the real star here is Hitchcock as he once again breaks new ground. Suspense, real horror, perfect for this fiendish season.

Angel: Peace Out

"I know she's a lie!"

And so the whole Jasmine storyline ends, suddenly. It works, it’s a good piece of telly, but you can see the joins as Angel is sidelined off in some CGI dimension where cliffhangers are easily resolved and high priests taunt him about his relationship with his son. Still, this strand successfully builds up what would otherwise be a deus ex machina ending in which Jasmine’s powers are suddenly revoked when Angel suddenly arrives.

As for the other cliffhanger, it feels a bit of a cheat that none of the rest of the gang are killed, instead spending most of the episode in a cell while the drama happens between Jasmine and Connor, who is the episode’s real focus. Still, at least the shared experience has seemingly brought the gang together and papered over some of their differences.

It’s explicitly revealed that Connor has always seen Jasmine’s real face, but doesn’t care. He needs something to believe in and, as he says in his little soliloquy beside a comatose Cordy (has Charisma Carpenter been sacked or something?), it’s nit that he’s naive enough to believe Jasmine but her lies are better than all the other lies.

Interesting, then, that is should be he that kills her, shortly before seemingly sodding off for good, which I suspect many of us wouldn’t mind. Less interesting is the half-hearted debate between Angel and Jasmine about paradise vs. freedom; I trust we all side against tyranny on that one.

So it’s a witty and well-scripted episode, one that actually makes good use of Connor, but one where a good script can’t quite paper over the awkward pacing of the plot, not even with its wit. But we end up with the status quote seemingly restored and our heroes back in the hotel- and up pops the seemingly alive Lilah...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: End of Days

"Oh! Jaffa Cakes!"

 This is the penultimate episode of Buffy. Ever. So it’s back to good old feminist basics.

All the agency here is female. Yes, Buffy is back, and implicitly the leader again with the agreement of all including Faith, but this time she’s armed with a kick ass MacGuffin and with a largely female gang against a massive evil whose main fighter is a deeply misogynistic man. Her male allies tacitly accept that it’s not about them- Xander leaves town with Dawn to protect her; Giles accepts that research would be better conducted by Willow’s feminine magic, and Andrew is, well, Andrew. Even Angel, turning up at the end, accepts that the fight against Caleb must be Buffy’s alone. Everywhere, female agency abounds.

Which is not to say that all goes well; more redshirt Potentials die. Or that men don’t matter; Spike declares his love for Buffy once more in a meaningful scene. Yet this is a love scene in which traditional gender roles are reversed, with Spike as the supplicant wanting to tie down the hero. But this episodeis one last focus on what the show is about before the last episode where Stuff Happens. Buffy even talks to a mysterious ancient woman who represents the feminine power behind those ancient men who created the acids Slayer and became the Watchers, implying through riddle-like speech that Buffy can only beat the First by doing things differently, perhaps smashing the a Patriarchy a little more.

Other stuff happens, of course. Kennedy looks fated to be an awesome warrior. Anya’s bedside manner is a wonder to behold. Andrew thinks he’ll die in the final battle and seems to have made his peace with that. But we’re all set for that last finale, in terms both of plot and theme. Let’s go...

Doctor Who: Rosa

"You ain't Banksy."

"Or am I?"

Ok, that quite impressed me. It's not the greatest episode ever but it's solid, it works both mechanically and emotionally, and it manages to avoid being overly didactic and preachy as, for me, Vincent and the Doctor was, despite that music. (Well, aside from that song at the end, but we'll come to that). It may not be a particularly deep look at racism, and it may choose a somewhat blatant type of prejudice rather than something more challenging, but it's written by Malorie Blackman who is, I believe, a writer of novels for teenagers, perhaps with that audience in mind. To be fair, though, on that level, it works. It's time to recognise that, while Chibnall may not be on the same level s a writer as RTD or the Moff, his vision of the show- less clever, more kid-friendly- may be closer to what it needs rather than appealing to people like me who will, let's face it, always watch Doctor Who. Besides, I still enjoyed it.

It's impressive how this return to having four TARDISeers, evoking early Hartnell, helps the storytelling and works well with fifty minute contained episodes. It's also nice to see the characters interact- Ryan and Yas discussing racism, Graham and Ryan bonding a little but not quite there, Jodie Whittaker being absolutely the Doctor. It's also interesting, for the first time since The Time Meddler, to see a story entirely about a cat and mouse game changing the little things that can alter history. There's no physical threat here, just a threat to the timeline, but it's chilling that the time travelling antagonist is a racist from  future where racism still exists. After all, here we are, sixty-three years after Rosa Parks refused to get off that bus, and racism is still there, Trump is president, and today's news is full of voter suppression in today's Georgia. Did Jim Crow ever really go away?

Still, we get a nice balance between showing racism in action in the Jim Crow Deep South and having the Doctor and gang put it into context with dialogue which nevertheless feels natural. It’s nicecto seecthevDoctor and Graham forced to be complicit at the end. And we get a celebrity historical cameo from Martin Luther King. And I'll admit I didn't recognise Vinette Robinson from Sherlock until Mrs Llamastrangler pointed her out.

It's interesting, on a more banal note, so see again that, while continuity is much more subtle under Chibnall and  much friendlier to the casual viewer, he still cares about consistency; here we have mentions of Artron Energy, Stormcage (but not River Song) and a Vortex Manipulator. But ultimately this is a good episode but perhaps not a memorable one. And, while I'm no purist and don't object to a song being played over the closing titles, does it have to be such sub-X-Factor chart fodder?

Sigh. I liked it. I really did. It's just that I've become accustomed over the last several years to using a stronger word than "liked".

Evil Dead 2 (1987)

"You bastards! You dirty bastards!"

Well then. This is quite the most splendidly disgusting film I've ever seen, knocking its predecessor into a cocked hat. Outrageously cheeky, too: it blatantly retcons the events of the first film within the first few minutes, making it very clear that Ash is the hero here. And Bruce Campbell is magnificent: simultaneously camp and macho, the Adam West of the slasher film.

Let’s be honest; this film doesn’t have so much a plot as a series of set pieces, but who cares when you’re having this much fun? I laughed out loud several times. I jumped several times. I loved the it with the late Lisa’s head and sharp teeth in Ash’s crotch- ouch. I loved the entire sequence with Ash’s hand turning evil. I loved all the blood, the cheerful bad taste, the Grand Guignol silliness. And best of all this is 1987, and CGI doesn’t really exist yet. It’s all done by stop motion, and if the monsters look like Muppets, frankly who cares? Any film in which a severed eye can fly across the room and end up in someone’s mouth is fine by me. Never before has a horror film been quite so much unadulterated fun.

And then there’s the delightfully random and sequel-hunting mediaeval ending, just when you things can’t get any more fun. Ok, this may not be the best film I’ve seen this year. But it’s easiky the most fun.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

"If there's one thing I've proven, it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself."

I loved the first film. I love this one too. Not as much as the first film, but a lot.

Yes, the plot may meander a bit, and contain a predictable bit where the hero hits rock bottom, but it works. Robert Downey Jr is still born to play Tony Stark. Gwyneth Paltrow is a fine Pepper, yet again, and still has great charisma with Downey. And Don Cheadle is much better as Rhodey. We also get loads and loads and loads of Tony being charismatic and Iron Man action sequences. That gets us halfway there already. And then there’s the Elon Musk cameo...

The conceit works- Tony is dying from the very thing that keeps him alive, and so needs to develop things from his father’s past while Justin Hammer acts as antagonist and this time the baddie is a rather different variation on Whiplash. Plus we get a splendid big set piece at the Monaco Grand Prix, and a lot of world building; there’s a lot about Nick Fury’s Avengers Initiative, we meet Black Widow and discover a familiar-looking old shield. And the post-credits points it all toward to Thor. It’s positively nostalgic seeing all these early MCU films. But the film works on its own terms, carried along by strong characters and a superb cast even if the plot, while perfectly decent, doesn’t quite have the narrative flow if the first film. Three films in and the MCU is going strong.

Angel: Sacrifice

"Anyone else feel like the last feisty wife in Stepford?"

Last episode showed us life under Jasmine. This episode develops it a bit- Jasmine has now got the Governor to surrender all of California to her, and indeed the Archbishop of Los Angeles to devote his cathedral to worship of her. But essentially this episode, now that the status quo of Jasmine, is about progressing the plot as Angel and the gang escape, regroup, and start to figure out how they can end all this.

Except Connor. He's had Cordy's blood, he can see what Jasmine really is, presumably with maggots and all. But he doesn't care; for once he can belong to something, And, my God, the boy is so unbelievably annoying at this point, not questioning Jasmine even when she moves Cordy somewhere else. Incidentally, once again Charisma Carpenter is called upon to do no more than act unconscious.

We begin with the gang heroically escaping to, er, the sewers, where they get to hide from Jasmine for a bit. And, perhaps, conveniently, Wes thereby discovers an insect-like demon thing that provides a clue, insisting that "we loved her first" and letting slip that Jasmine's weakness is her true name. If you think about it too hard this is somewhat too convenient, but it's handled with just enough sleight of hand.

So, when the National Guard inevitably comes for them- led by Connor with, creepily, Jasmine's voice- its time for a double cliffhanger as Angel jumps through a portal to the dimension of the incredibly powerful and fanatical mantis things, while the rest of them face a fight against hopeless odds. Ah, Angel. You do like to be so gloriously random come the end of the season, don't you?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Touched

"Your performance as a disgruntled minion was spot on"

"I'm method."

It’s an interesting way to do the episode just before the two part final battle, just after the episode in which our titular heroine has hit rock bottom, rejected by all her friends. In a way it’s catharis for last episode; in a way it’s also a way to get everyone to have sex before a big battle before some of them, and not all of them redshirt Potentials, will die. Perhaps it’s convenient that the First and Caleb are busy in their cave this episode, but it’s important that we slow down and do all this character stuff.

It’s uncomfortable without Buffy and Faith- crude, uneducated, is unsteady as leader. That much is clear. Her plan to kidnap a Bringer and make it talk is good, and Dawn’s linguistic skills in magic lore (Ottoman Turkish this week) are impressive, but they don’t discover anything not already found out by Spike, Andrew and Buffy.

As for Spike, he’s not happy with what he finds on his returns and has some harsh and truthful words for Willow’s blatantly practised speech (“You sad, sad, ungrateful traitors”), some fists for Faith, and some harsh words for them all. And when he finds Buffy he finds her so very down- Sarah Michelle Gellar does a scarily realistic performance as a depressed person.

But this is an episode about healing, so out he comes with the uplifting, cathartic pep talk, reminding Buffy who she is. And this leads to a cuddle, and then some healing sex.

Cue more healing sex back at the house, before the big battle. Faith and Robin- I called it- Willow and Kennedy, even Anya and Xander. It’s lovely, but by the laws of drama it must also be ominous.

So Buffy and Faith & co make simultaneous assaults on the vineyard, where a reenergised Buffy runs rings around Caleb by dancing like a butterfly. She discovers what looks like a useful MacGuffin. Unfortunately Faith finds a time bomb...

It’s starting.

Doctor Who: The Ghost Monument

"I can't remember who I borrowed them off now. It was either Audrey Hepburn or Pythagoras."

Ok, so they can't all be that good; it's Chris Chibnall after all. His first alien story as showrunner and we get a decent but fairly pedestrian tale about a rally between planets and the planet of the booby traps. Which is not to slag the story off; I liked it. I just wouldn't use a stronger word than "liked".

Still, aside from the story of the week, and those niggling worries about his talents for adventure storytelling and science fantasy concepts, that doesn't necessary make him a bad showrunner. Again he's showing signs of being good at developing characters, which could bode well- and yes, I will see Broadchurch soon.

Our TARDIS crew (well, not yet...) of four is looking curiously similar to Ian, Barbara and Susan in that we have a sort-of "grandfather"; I already like the sort-of-familial relationship between Graham and Ryan, and this is going to grow. Yasmin is perhaps not so well fleshed out at this stage (will she and Ryan have a will-they-won't-they like Ian and Barbara?) But there's plenty of time. And still, of course, Jodie Whittaker is the Doctor; as Mrs Llamastrangler pointed out, it's satisfying to her her saying "run".

Again her gender matters not. Well, except for a good old cheap laugh, that is: "Come to Daddy- I mean, Mummy". But she is completely and utterly Doctorish throughout, in circumstances that display that Doctorishness magnificently. But... Chibnall seems to have yet another bit of backstory for her, as one of the Shrouds of Doom refer to her as "the timeless child" and "an outcast", something which clearly strikes a nerve and which clearly is intended to be picked up on. This is clearly another arc about the Doctor's past; I hope it fits with all the others.

It's nice to see that this "jumping on point", while being carefully continuity-lite, isn't averse to the odd nod to the past such as the mention of Venusian Aikido (from Venusian nuns, apparently). And it appears that last week's baddies- the Stenza- may end up as this season's Big Bad. But all that pales next to the fact that the TARDIS is finally back, redecorated inside and out, after a nice little character moment where the Doctor is close to giving up hope but her three friends aren't. The new interior is awesome- I love the Heath Robinson style of ho it works, the lighting, and the biscuit. Will the Doctor take them straight home? Just as with Ian and Barbara, we know she won't.

And the new theme is also awesome, and the opening title sequence is rather Pertwee, I feel, as opposed to the closing sequence being very Tom. In fact, a lot about Doctor Who is awesome now; it looks so much more cinematic. I don't think the budget has gone up, but it gives the illusion of having done so. And if the scripts are merely good, so far that's ok.

RoboCop 2 (1990)

"What about democracy? Nobody elected you."

"Anyone can buy OCP's stock and own a piece of our city. What could be more democratic than that?"

It's been six long years since I blogged the excellent first film; a superbly written and shot dystopia about privatisation and corporate greed that was very Paul Verhoeven. It was hard to imagine how a sequel would not disappoint. Yet this doesn’t. It’s a superb film and a fine sequel.

But perhaps we should expect no less from Irving Kershner, he of The Empire Strikes Back: he has, after all, directed the greatest sequel of all time. Here he doesn’t quite reach the same heights but he does something similar- following an iconic director in a self-effacing yet worthy way. Kershner isn’t a director with a distinct style of his own, but as a craftsman of cinema he’s superb.

Hence we get a film that’s very faithful to its predecessor’s style, with the satirical commercials not looming quite so large but certainly present and correct, and with many familiar faces returning to the same Detroit which faces the same dystopian problems, courtesy of a superb script from an at-his-peak Frank Miller, writing for cinema at a time when comics scribes were not so well-respected as they are now.

And, of course, again we have a hard-boiled Hollywood film where, unusually, the message is clearly a left-wing one. We begin with OCP, owners of the privatised  police force, cutting their wages by 40% and cancelling their pensions, leading to inevitable strikes. There’s an uber-addictive drug called Nuke, there’s a kingpin called Cain and a child gangster called Hob, but the real villain is the anorak and grasping OCP, who deliberately engineer for the city to become hopelessly in debt to it so they can privatise the whole thing. And, much as RoboCop may defeat Cain, who has been turned into the body horrific and fourth wall breaking “RoboCop 2”, The film ends with OCP seeming to succeed in this, and getting away with this through a little scapegoating.

There’s lots of touching character stuff, too- the bit where Murphy pretends not to recognise his wife to protect her is heart-wrenching- but it’s all done perfectly in the same slightly cyberpunk corporate dystopia of the first film. This is how to do a sequel. So can we have another one please?

Green Lantern (2011)

"You haven't just been replaced by an alien or something?"

It's so frustrating. This film has stuff going for it. It could easily have not been rubbish with a few tweaks. But sadly that was not to be, and rubbish it is.

There’s so much potential here. Ryan Reynolds is genuinely great as Hal Jordan. The Guardians and hordes of alien Green Lanterns look awesome, particularly Mark Strong as Sinestro and a great cameo from Michael Clarke Duncan as Kilowog. All of that side of things is great; the whole thing looks fantastic, the fans get what they want. But no amount of polishing can disguise the fact that the script is a turd.

It tries to be epic, it really does. But it starts with a load of CGI aliens we don’t care about, for ages, and then moves to an extended F-35 dogfight. All visual spectacle, no heart, no real humour, no character, until the film is quite a long way in. And, while Ryan Reynolds is great at giving us a well-rounded Hal whom we can like, the film never really recovers from that. We aren’t given time to know and care about any of the characters until the plot starts in earnest. And there’s an awkward moment where Hal “wins” his dogfight by going to high altitude and the same stunt saves him at the end, which looks awkwardly derivative of Iron Man. And then there’s the onviousness of the plot- you know, man-child with aimless life and problems with responsibility is given great power and responsibility that he supposedly deserves; seems undeserving and gives up; is persuaded by a beautiful woman to try again and saves the world. This sort of formula isn’t unusual in Hollywood, but it’s seldom so blatant.

And it’s a real shame; the film is well shot and well made. But, well, it’s the script, stupid.

Angel: The Magic Bullet

"I've been so alone, so scared. I'm not like you. I'm not a champion."

The first few minutes of this episode are deeply effective; an old fashioned, happy LA with a prominent ‘50s car and a Beach Boys soundtrack. It all looks idyllic- until we see that Fred is being chased and is lucky to escape. Winifred Burkle, alone, against not only her friend but a city that is slowly becoming a hive mind, where everyone is the eyes and ears for Jasmine. Things seem hopeless, but despite the quote above Fred is a hero.

This is the episode that shows what a completely Jasmine-controlled LA is like, with the hotel crammed full of worshippers and a terrifying, stultifying conformity that is bad enough before we even start asking about the people Jasmine seems to take to her room. And when Connor asks where they went she simply says “I ate them”. She can do whatever the hell she wants and is clearly evil.

I like the interlude with the hand-eating demon, butvthe sheer hopeless drives Fred to seemingly surrender- only to shoot Angel Through Jasmine, thereby mixing their bloods and reversing the spell. It’s clever, she’s clever, and she and Angel are able to do what’s necessary for the plot and free the minds of the whole gang. Yes, it’s a stretch that the blood of Cordelia, comatose mother of the goddess  (what about Charisma Carpenter?) will do the same thing, butbthe rpisode gets awY with it, and is a bloody well-crafted 42 minutes of television.

It’s depressingly predictable, of course, that Connor should betray them even after they’ve seen the light. What are we going to do with that boy?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Empty Places

"I keep waiting for my other senses to improve 50%. That'll kick in any day now."

The end is nigh, and after six previous seasons we know that the narrative requires a wedge between the Scoobies in afvance of the final battle. We’ve already seen a bit of this with the ongoing estrangement between Buffy and Giles, but the end of this episode sees this sort of thing taken to its devastating extreme, with Buffy being kicked out of her own home by her own sister.

It’s made very clear that things are dire. There’s a mass exodus from Sunnyvale, including Clem. School is closed. No one has any way of fighting back against the horrible misogynistic Caleb, whose dialogue is horrifying and who represents an acting triumph from the great Nathan Fillion.

There’s a little humour early on, yes, with Anya’s lecture which ends up with Andrew writing “break-up sex on the board, but otherwise things are unrelentingly grim. Thevdull teality of Xander losing an eye really hits home; it’s devastating to see Willow about to cry when Xander makes a quip about being spared Jaws 3-D, and Xander simply saying “Please don’t.”

Morale is rock bottom, and Faith’s attempt to cheer up the troops by taking them to the Bronze goes horribly wrong. The police are carefully stated to be “Hellmouthed” and shown to be brutal and corrupt so that we root for Faith against them. Fair enough. But I still expect her to return to prison when this is all over. As we established long ago, slayers are no better than other people and shouldn’t have privileged status.

Faith and Robin seem to connect. And Spike and Andrew go off on a mission that may provide useful knowledge against Caleb. But things are miserable, especially after Xander Returns with that horrible injury. So the response to Buffy’s plan- to attack the Vineyard again because it’s obviously important- meets a negative response from even those closest to her. Buffy doesn’t help herself by saying the wrong things; slayers are no better than other people. It’s a hard hitting ending, but Buffy gets the last word, pointing out that Faith now has to cope with the burden of leadership.

Angel: Shiny Happy People

"Even before you were born, I chose you to be my father."

Just as with two seasons ago, with the adventures on Pylea, the status quo has changed utterly for the last few episodes, with the baby of Cordelia (asleep all episode) and Connor turning out to be Jasmine, a good-nature’s paragon of virtue and a goddess whom everyone feels the urge to worship, including our heroes, who under her leadership swiftly free LA from all the vampires and demons which are oppressing it. Or is she?

This episode feels weird; first Angel and Connor fall under her spell, returning to the hotel to the horror of their friends, with Wesley trying to convince them they’ve been manipulated. Yet, as soon as Jasmine arrives, they all drop to their knees. It’s deeply disconcerting, as well as unusual to see Gina Torres (Firefly has just been cancelled) in a part like this.

Of course, a chink in her armour soon appears as just one of many worshippers suddenly shouts that she is a “monster” and “deserves to die”. This is rationalised as hate... until Fred randomly sees Jasmi’s probable true face, with maggots everywhere. This breaks the spell for her and she ends up on the run, the only person in the whole city not under Jasmine’s spell. Yep; finally we get a situation in which Fred is unambiguously the hero. The scene in which first Wesley and then the whole gang turns against her is chilling.

This episode consists mainly of set up and establishing a new status quo, so it’s best, I think, to reserve judgement for now. But yet again we see why Angel, with no status quo that can ever be relied upon, is indeed the televisual equivalent of Chris Claremont’s run on X-Men. And that is high praise indeed.

Doctor Who: The Woman Who Fell to Earth

“Sorry. Half an hour ago I was a white haired Scotsman...”

No opening title sequence. No reprise of the regeneration. Just the above line, some interesting dialogue about the process of adapting to a new persona, and Peter Capaldi’s clothes. Those aside, we have only the perennials of the programme to guide us into what does indeed look very much like, ahem, a “jumping on point”.

We’ve had few spoilers and an incredible vagueness in publicity; personally, I’ve never known less about a new season of Doctor Who. I mean, beyond next week we don’t even know the episode titles. We know to expect easier-to-follow storytelling and no old monsters for this season, but that's it.

So what did we get? Well, I'm impressed. Chibnall's stuff has been variable in the past to say the least, as least with Who (I haven't seen any Broadchurch but will remedy that very, very soon, trust me), but here he nails it. A simple plot (a policy aim, I understand; I yield to no one in my Moffat fanboyishness but even I will accept that his complex plotting, brilliant though it is, is wont to drive away the kids), likeable characters in Ryan- a decent kid held back by his dyspraxia; Yasmin, his old school friend and now rookie copper; and Graham, his cancer survivor step-grandad- and of course his Nan, who dies heartbreakingly by falling off a pylon thingy while saving the day. Such a very Tom way to die, as we old fans know, and the culmination of some very good writing to get us (and the new Doctor, of whom more in a bit) to like these four (soon to be three) new friends.

The whole thing looks amazing, indeed cinematic, although there is perhaps a darkness to the visuals which isn't necessarily there in the script. I can't deny that the direction is superb; I can, however, worry that the veering towards a horror film style may drive away younger viewers as surely as complex plots. That shot of the baddie with teeth all over his face terrified Mrs Llamastrangler.

And Jodie Whittaker? She is, simply, the Doctor. Her every line, her every act, is Doctorishness incarnate.She's superb. There's nothing more to it than that. The fact that she happens to be this or that gender is completely and utterly meh. It's interesting that, a token short period of unconsciousness and lots of exposition about how she's still forming aside (and that nice subtle touch of the little bit of regeneration energy) she's up and running and active and Doctoring from the start, much as Matt Smith, and is very much the more broadly Doctorish type- a Tom, or a Tennant, or a Troughton rather than one of the irascible ones. But we shall see.

Interesting that we start without a TARDIS- it appears that this will be resolved next episode, along with an explanation as to what happened; fortunately the Doctor ends up,with the dead alien's transmat thingy in order to get her to the necessary planet. Along with Yasmin, Ran and Graham. Oops. We also get a new sonic screwdriver, "now with added Sheffield steel", a very Sheffield feel with some awesome shots of the Peak District, a traditional debut episode confrontation scene, and a joyous new costume scene. Overall this is an impressive new debut to the new era and the new Doctor. And Chibnall? He done good, and his strong point seems to be characters over plot. Let's hope that being able to create everything to his liking continues to play to his strengths. For now, though, I'm excited.

Love the theme tune and closing sequence too- very Tom, but very modern.

Batman Returns (1992)

"I'm tired of wearing masks."

I haven't seen this since 1992, at the old Cannon cinema in Hinckley. I don't much remember what I thought of it then, but I like it a lot now. It doesn't quite beat its predecessor for me (sorry, Nick!)- it doesn't quite have the depth, visual elegance or Batman screentime- but Tim Burton leaves the franchise with two superb films under his utility belt.

Batman’s lack of screen time here is a surprise- Batman and Bruce Wayne are little more than a plot function here, with Michael Keaton not given much interesting stuff to do, especially as compared with the first film. But then we must remember that this isn’t primarily a franchise film but a Tim Burton film; the film is about the Penguin and Catwoman.

Interestingly, though, neither of the two traditional villains are wholly evil; that accolade goes to the splendidly named Max Shrek, a corrupt and morally depraved businessman whose Nosferatu-inspired name fits well with the film’s aesthetic for Gotham. He’s the catalyst for Catwoman. Selina Kyle, a downtrodden and humiliated secretary, single, alone and browbeaten by all and sundry, finds out stuff she shouldn’t and is thrown out of a high window, losing the first of her nine lives, and something snaps. At first it looks as though there’s a bit of a feminist message here, especially as Catwoman’s first outing is to rescue a woman from a man in a dark alley, but this doesn’t go anywhere. Still, Michelle Pfeiffer is pretty good and the kinky latex costume and whip looks cool- although it sort of takes over from the whole cat thing. Still, an impressive treatment of the character.

The treatment of Danny DeVito’s Penguin is much more radical; this Oswald Cobblepot grew up in the sewers, abandoned, and the only cigarette holder to be seen is that of his father, glimpsed early on. The umbrellas and monocle are present and correct, but this is a much more feral Penguin, no angel but genuinely vulnerable, and bordering even on likeable if he were not so lecherous.

These characters are fascinating, and what the film  is about, much more so than Batman or even Gotham. This is notably much more of a Tim Burton film and less of a Batman film than its predecessor, and the respective values you place on those two categories will probably decide which of the two you prefer. Personally, I may like this one less but it is nonetheless superb.

Psycho (1960)

"We all go a little mad sometimes..."

Wow. This film is a bit good, innit?

I suppose what strikes me, aside from the sheer power of the shower scene and the suddenly artier camerawork with  Marion’s corpse, something which is profoundly effective- and brave, doing something so arty in a film pitched at such a mainstream audience.

But the genius of the film isn’t limited to individual scenes or shots, or indeed to the gloriously radical decision of killing off what we’re implicitly told is the main protagonist halfway through. No; it’s the masterful code-switching between parts of the film which feel like ordinary drama and parts which ramp up the tension and unease- and the sheer mastery of switching between them.

This is a Hitchcock film, of course; you expect tension. Janet Leigh is superb, and carries the film, in thosezearly scenes where she’s on the run and evading the ever-present police. But once we reach the Bates Motel, the mood changes- or rather, it doesn’t, at least not immediately. The excellent Anthony Perkins comes across as lonely, weak, a little dorky perhaps, but he feels normal at first, and we (and Marion) feel at ease.

And then we don’t.

The sudden switch where Marion says the wrong thing to Norman- about putting his mother away- is deeply effective, and that’s certainly down to the performance but also down to the direction; suddenly the entire visual grammar of the film changes and the way the camera is used- the very thing that controls our sense of reality- suddenly becomes uncomfortable, unnerving. And stats that way whenever Hitchcock wants it to.

What lingers, though, is that extraordinary final shot of Bates looking as scary, through sheer acting, as anything in all of cinema. Superb.

High Noon (1952)

"I've got to.That's the whole thing."

It's been far too long since I did a classic western so, well, here's one. And let's not beat about the bush; it's a superb piece of cinema about one man who chooses to stand and fight even though no one else will. It's been said (interestingly given the story behind it) that this is an allegory for McCarthyism but it stands as a monument to non-conformity of all kinds- as well as those perennial Western values and doing the right thing no matter what the potential cost.

Gary Cooper looks old as Will Kane but, oddly enough, this works; Will is retiring as marshal on the day of his wedding to his young bride (and weddings in the old West seem crap; in the morning, no music, no booze...!) until he hears that a killer he once put away is returning to terrorise the town- and kill him. So Will turns around and the clock starts ticking- literally: we constantly see clocks and the film runs down in near real time until the arrival of the baddie by train at noon. And Gary Cooper looks ever more old, tired, hopeless and sweat-ridden as the minutes go by and the hope drains away. As he admits to a shockingly young Lloyd Bridges, he's scared. But he does the right thing.

And he does so alone; his new wife has seemingly abandoned him and, unexpectedly, the film consists not of action- in fact, until the last few minutes, there isn't much of this, but of slow, desperate debate as Will spends most of the film trying to get someone, anyone, to stand by him as he's stood by them. And no one does- except his wife, at the last minute, after she's had a good talking to. It's a fascinating point both of the moral cowardice of the majority and the nobility of doing the right thing even, indeed especially, if no one else does.

All this is superbly shot with plenty of tension and restrained terror. This film is justly revered and makes me want to see more acclaimed westerns.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Dirty Girls

"Why would Faith kill a person who studies Vulcans?"

Wow. That’s an amazingly compact but efficient “previously on” that manages to cover an awful lot of ground. I’m impressed.

Everything about this ominously serious episodes points to something shocking terrible happening. From the constant reminders of how the Potentials are untested, to Xander’s rousing speech about how Buffy cares about their lives which makes it certain that something bad will happen to him, to the atmosphere of doom and gloom, we expect something tragic to happen.

In the meantime we get introduced to the darkly misogynistic and manipulative Caleb, a superb preacher-like villain played by the ever-superb Nathan Fillion, recent refugee from Firefly. Caleb gives a face and personality to the First, somethingbthat was previously missing, and is both enormously charismatic and (as we shockingly see at the end) strong enough to swat away slayers like flies. We also have Faith’s awkward return to Sunnyvale, where under the circumstances she’s certainly welcome but doesn’t fit in. But she and Spike bond over their shared bad past, their shared kinky natures, and the revelation that they have in fact had some incredible sex in the past when Faith was pretending to be Buffy. First impressions and all that...

It’s weird, although inevitable, to see Faith and Dawn recognise each other though.

We also see Buffy and Robin reconcile, although he fires her; she has far more important things to do.  But much of the interaction concerns the wisdom of Buffy’s proposed attack on Caleb- both Giles (still in the doghouse) and Xander disagree, which I’m sure is something we will return to next episode. But we end with the assault on the First and, of course, evedything goes wrong as a redshirt Potential is killed- and Xander loses an eye.

A tensexand superb bit of telly, then, that makes it clear we’re now entering the final stretch.

Angel: Inside Out

"Guy steps out for a few hours, half the place goes supervillain."

This episode is about as much a game changer as it’s possible to be. Cordy has been exposed and confronted as the baddie and is freed to spend all of her time quite openly mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ing. Except, that is, she’s still grooming (the word gets used) and gaslighting Connor.

Ah, Connor. We’ve discussed how annoying he is before, but he creaky crosses a line here, and seems as though he’s genuinely meant to come across as an annoying little shit. Even his mother’s ghost, sent by the Powers to speak to him, are unable to get through. He’s completely under the spell of whatever’s controlling Cordelia, and goes as far as to be an accessory to the cold-blooded murder of an innocent girl. His hands are quite literally dipped in blood.

We learn a lot, too; the thing controlling Cordy has been manipulating events for a long time, including Cordy’s ascension and an awful lot of recent events. Much seems to be depressingly pre-ordained, although Gunn gets a wonderful speech about how some amount of agency still exists. Skip, of course, has always been in on it and is, in fact, evil.

We also get a big montage of how it was in fact Cordy who did all sorts of unexplained things over the course of many episodes, and Wesley comes to realise that it was her who killed Lilah. It’s moving to see the renewed friendship between Angel and Wes here as Angel cares because Wes does, a nice moment.

It all ends with a flash of light as the baby is born and turns out to be Gina Torres, getting a compensation role after the cancellation of Firefly. And everyone kneels before her. Yet another twist in a series that glories in having no status quo. This is brilliant stuff and it’s looking awfully like a rather brilliant series with not long to go.

Carry On Nurse (1959)

“The sex-mad fools!"

I never did intend to marathon the Carry On films. But here I am accidentally doing the first two in succession so I suppose I am. Just expect it to go rather slowly.

Just as with Carry On Sergeant, a film with which it shares an awful lot, this isn’t yet quite what we think of the franchise. Yes, there is a little in the way of mild double entendres but sex is actually, while important, still treated in a picture postcard and, well, 1959 way.

And it has to be said that there’s an uncomfortable scene early on where sexual assault is casually treated as comedy. This was a comedy commonplace in 1959 but is not nice to see today and, although I can never know, I like to think I would have said that before #MeToo.

There’s no justification for that sort of thing, then or now, but we can at least describe it as an isolated scene. The rest of the film is not, perhaps, quite as good as it’s predecessir and not, certainly, quite pointing to the greatness ahead, but it’s interesting. Interesting to see Kenneth Williams playing another intellectual and, rather than being at all camp, being given a heterosexual romance. Interesting to see Charles Hawtrey being given a highly visible yet rather minor role. Interesting, still, that Sid James isn’t there at all. Yet a young Joan Sims impresses in her debut, Hattie Jacques is wonderful, and Bill Owen is quite shockingly and unrecognisably young.

Still, this film is entertaining enough but never quite catches fire. Why it was the only film in the series to be successful in America is beyond me.

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (1983)

“Let the heathens spill theirs
 On the dusty ground
 God shall make them pay for
 Each sperm that can’t be found.”

There’s a sketch on That Mitchell and Webb Look which shows our two eponymous writer-performers sorting out the order of sketches for their comedy sketch series, which is of course very much in the lineage of Monty Python. The joke is, of course, that they try to arrange the hits and the misses in the correct sequence so there are equal amounts of each, as every sketch show has to be hit and miss; it’s a fully fledged cliche. And one often made of this film.

Thing is, though, this criticism is somewhat dodgy. Of course the Monty Python telly series could be hit and miss; they had to fill thirteen episodes a series at the pace of telly, where union rules meant the studio lights went off at 10pm no matter what. But it’s commonly a criticism not made of The Holy Grail or The Life of Brian, both more narrative and less explicitly a series of sketches. Yet The Meaning of Life gets these criticisms full force.

But this is absolute pants. Yes, this film isn’t quite as good as the other two; I accept that. But how many individual telly episodes have this kind of hit rate? I mean, Every Sperm Is Sacred, sex education, a run of excellent war sketches, the Galaxy Song- this would have been a critical hit if it were the only Python film.

It’s also a lot more explicitly political, a sort of last hurrah for the Beyond the Fringe generation, as it gleefully skewers the church, public school, the armed forces and all sorts of upper middle class pretensions. Even Terry Gilliam’s glorious opening feature with its accountants raiding international finance on the high seas, a live action version of one of his own animations, is aimed squarely at Thatcherism. But more than that, it’s hilarious. And so is the film as a whole. So forget all this hit and miss stuff; this is classic, superb Python for the very last time.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Lies My Parents Told Me

"Darling, it's who you'll always be- a limp, sentimental fool."

Yet again, as we often see this season, an episode has a title that is dnably clever, the more so the more you think about it. Parents lying to their offspring, real or symbolic, is at the heart of everything.

Plot-wise, of course, this is the heavily-signposted episode where Robin finally attempts to get revenge on Spike for his mother Nikki’s death, enabled by Giles (whose attitude is again heavily signposted), who betrays Buffy in doing so. In doing so, of course, what Robin achieves is only to finally cure Spike of the First’s trigger.

But beyond these bare facts it’s all about parents lying to their children. In flashbacks from
The 1880s we see young William reading bad poetry to his doting mother, and then again we see him newly camped by good old Drusilla, eagerly giving everlasting undead existence to his beloved mother. But then, bereft of a soul, his now evil mother says deeply wounding things to him, so effective that the First is able to use her lullaby as a trigger even today.

And yet this is, of course, a lie. Those things were not said by his mother but by a demon. That’s fairly obvious. More subtle, as Spike says, is what Nikki says to Robin; like Buffy, she is in the final analysis alonevin the decision she makes and, as per the phrase that both she and Buffy use, “the mission is what matters.” I’m sure she loved her son, but he certainly didn’t come first, and that must hurt.

Finally there’s the symbolic father/daughter relationship between Buffy and Giles, who have been particularly close lately. It’s not the first time he’s betrayed her, of course, but this time he isn’t being forced to do so, which makes it worse. Yes, he has his reasons, but he goes behind Buffy’s back and lies to her. She clearly finds this hard to forgive, as the final symbolic closing of the door shows.

All very impressive, then, even if a lot of regular characters get rather little to do. But it’s worrying that a central relationship between two of the Scoobies is seriously damaged just before what looks like the biggest armageddon yet...

Deadpool 2 (2018)

“It's a little hard to hear you with that pity dick in your mouth."

 I admit it; this sequel isn't quite as good as its predecessor. But who cares, frankly? It's awesome; witty, funny, and full of glorious violence, not least the violence done to the fourth wall. It may, shockingly, be the only film I've seen so far from this year, but I'm sure it would be a strong contender for most enjoyable film of the year in any case.

It's an action film that mocks loads of the tropes, as we'd expect, taking delight in action sequences with fancy action film camerawork and syncing them to unexpected soundtracks, and gloriously undercutting Deadpool's super-team (X-Force- ah, those halcyon Rob Liefeld days) by having almost the entire team die hilariously after a parachute jump, including Shatterstar (ha!) and the briefest ever cameo from Brad Pitt. Once again we have Colossus as the goody two shoes, once again we have (brief cameo aside) a mysterious scarcity of X-Men, and some tough but fair metatextual commentary from Wade Wilson himself ("You're so dark! Are you sure you're not from the DC Universe?"). All this plus Domino, who's rather cool. Josh Brolin may be just a little miscast as Cable, but you can't have everything. The Bond-style titles alone excuse a multitude of sins.

Of course, even better than that is the timey-wimey stuff at the end and what happens about Green Lantern and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Just bloody watch it. Unless, like me, you haven't seen Logan; spoilers abound.

Onibaba (1964)

"I've never seen anything really beautiful since the day I was born."

Mark Kermode, in his recent BBC4 documentary on cinematic genres, said that this was one of the most terrifying films ever. Having seen it, I quite agree.

Not that you'd think so, in spite of the disturbing camerawork and cinematography throughout, playing on the long grass and that deep, ancient hole; for most of its length, this film is a drama centred around but three characters, seeming almost to be a stage play if not for the cinematography and the deep, disturbing mood of the long, long grass.

The mother and daughter-in-law around whom this film centred are not named, but when their son/husband's mate arrives, back from the war, self-centred and uncaring about the death of his friends, so important to the two ladies. And yet the widowed daughter-in-law soon starts an affair with this unmannered brute, much to the profound horror of her mother in law. Oh, and, incidentally, there's a never-ending civil war (it's the 14th century), and the two ladies are killing wounded samurai and selling their stolen possessions for millet. It's war, brutal war, and morality s long gone in the desperate urge to survive. None of the characters are likeable, but the fact that much of the film has the intimacy of a stage play with its limited cast of (pretty much) three characters, none of whom are likeable but all of whom feel real and are compelling.

It's kept ambiguous whether the mask that forms the horror is supernatural or not, but that's as it should be as unease erupts into terror. This film is superb and truly horrifying.

Angel: Players

"He's just making it up as he goes along!"

To some extent this is a quiet episode with time to breathe and enjoy a mini-break from full-on arc stuff, an episode the like of which we haven't seen much lately. But it's also cleverly titled, with both episodes about people being played.

This is first and foremost a Gunn episode, as Gwen (remember her?) suddenly turns up and asks for his help in a caper that she assures him is all in a good cause. The tricks him, a little, but he still has fun, and Gwen tells him firmly that he's far more than just the muscle, as he's been recently told by a manipulative Angelus and an angry Wesley. Even better, the damsel in distress turns out to be Gwen herself and the MacGuffin that is the subject of their heist turns out to be a devise that can cut off her electric charge, at least for a while, so for the first time in her life she can have physical intimacy. And she wants that to be with Gunn.This must be a rather confidence-boosting night for Gunn, and the fact that he gets no-strings rebound sex with a rather attractive and highly intelligent virgin who has risked her life to sleep with him can't hurt either.

Meanwhile, the gang all learn that Cordy is pregnant, Connor is the father and the pregnancy is abnormally far along, all very suddenly, and are somewhat taken aback. Given this baby's heritage, I'm not surprised. Cue lots of research, including a subtle scene where Fred and Wes discuss relationships, and why he got with Lilah. They are slowly coming to understand each other.

We get lots of disturbing gaslighting scenes between Cordy and Connor, and Cordy wandering around pretending not to be evil. But, as the last scene shows, she's been played, and is caught red handed. It's quite the hook, and quite the episode.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Storyteller

"Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?"

We’ve just had an episode of Angel all about redemption; now it’s time for Buffy, and Andrew, to do the same. And who better to handle the required mix of comedy and serious themes than Jane Espenson?

It’s always risky to handle a character like Andrew who is, as we are forcefully reminded, a murderer,   and use him as a comic foil. It’s to Buffy’s credit that, looked at overall, they get the balance right. It’s clever to frame the episode around Andrew filming the Scoobies for a supposed documentary, to have all kinds of funny and court-wall breaking fun, but then to undercut that, as the episode does, that Andrew is simply playing the outside observer role to escape from the terrible thing he did when being active. He tells stories to his own advantage, and this is where Buffy forces him to face up to the truth.

The ending is edgy, of course, as Buffy seems about to kill him- again emphasising the hard edge she’s had of late, with the prospect of the biggest armageddon yet. And we end with the unanswered question of “What if the tears didn’t work?”

This is all cleverly mixed in with the urgent need to close that door in the cellar, of course, which is causing unsustainably enormous Hellmouth activity. This loose end is tied up, but Robin’s vengeful hatred for Spike continues. And it appears that Anya and Xander may be reconciling as they have some good sex- is this a one-off, or...?

Jane Espenson seldom disappoints. Is this her last episode? Is this the last light-hearted episode? It’s tome to ask those questions: not too long to go now.

Angel: Orpheus

“You tell me, it’s your flashback!”

Angel has been awesome over the last few episodes, so it’s quite something to say that this episode stands out as being superlative. But it does. The structure seems simple at first and is easy to grasp; Faith is dying from the mystical opiate she ingested to trick and spike Angelus, while Angelus is under a lot of tranquillisers. They share an extended flashback of Angel’s twentieth century while guest star Willow (yay- it’s fantastic to see her interacting with everyone) re-ensouls Angel while evil Cordy tries to stop her.

But of course it’s more than that. It’s about redemption; the big twist is simply that the flashback of Angel’s redemptive life is not for the benefit of Angelus, but entirely for Faith. Dying is easy; redemption is hard. But these sequences work mainly because of the coolness of Faith, and the awesomeness of Eliza Dushku. Angel will miss her, but never mind; she’s off to Sunnyvale soon.

Incidentally, I thought that crossovers has been a big no-no ever since Buffy and Angel have been on different networks. What’s changed here?

There’s a lot else going on, of course. There’s the chat between ex-baddie Willow and Wesley that puts his dark side into perspective. There’s the increasingly and worrying nature of the relationship between the manipulative Evil Cordy and young, naive Connor, which this episode extends to physical abuse and unambiguous gaslighting. The kid may be annoying, but no one deserves that. There’s ‘70s Angel, with the hair.

Then there’s the last scene, with a rather kinky looking Cordy emerging. Is she about to drop that sprog? I for one have no idea what’s about to happen, which is precisely what I love about this season.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Get It Done

“Did you know that the ancient Sumerians did not speak English?”

“They’re worse than the French...”

A subtle, interesting and quietly packed episode this time as we start out all light, fluffy and full of Whedonesque with until, suddenly, the mood completely changes with Chloe, a Potential, being found hanged after being talked to death by the first, an event which is profoundly unbearable in all sort of ways.

Even worse is Buffy’s harsh speech about everyone not pulling their weight. Which is somewhat hypocritical (as Xander implies) after her recent antics, and certainly not respectful of the dead, but seems to be the much-needed shock everyone needs, which the absent Giles’ gentler rebuke last episode seemingly wasn’t.

This is the episode where Principal Wood both gets fully introduced to the Scoobies and acquires a first name, Robin. I like him a lot as a character. He has, of course, an ulterior motive in avenging his mother against Spike, but he is genuine and his wit fits right in. It’s also showing Andrew, yet again, as a comic foil.

The main event, though, is the bag bequeathed by Robin from his mother to Buffy, which uses magic puppetry to send her to a magical evocation of the past, although not without some sudden and impressive Sumerian linguistic skills from Dawn. Here she finds the three ancient me. Who created the first Slayer and reveals the whole set-up, and implicitly the whole infrastructure of slayers and watchers, to be deeply patriarchal and to involve the violation of non-consenting young girls, a rather damning indictment which simply has to be followed up. Buffy angrily rejects their help butvis left wondering if she did the right thing, being given a glimpse of the massive army of the First, which looks just like hordes of orcs in Mordor. The stakes could not be higher.

On the plus side, Willow is also tested and manages to use magic to bring Buffy back, even if Kennedy is somewhat shocked at the power she has. But both Willow and Spike are rebuked throughout for holding back and, with the First looming, the overall impression is that “it’s not enough”.

Tron (1982)

"I took a wrong turn somewhere..."

This is a strange film to see for the first time in 2018. It’s groundbreaking. It’s unique. It’s triumphantly of its time. And it’s utter pants.

Oh, it looks great. Unreservedly so; it captures the aesthetics of 1982 vintage computer graphics with perfection but is also, importantly, good to look at and of utility foretelling the story- although characters can be hard to tell apart in cyberspace. Then there’s Jeff Bridges’ rakish charm and David Warner’s desperate baddie.

There’s ever a surprisingly metaphysical side, as the baddies dismiss programs who have faith in “users” as religious fanatics. This line of thought may not be taken very far, but it’s indisputably there. I also don’t mind the total lack of realism in showing 1982 vintage computer programming in this almost proto-cyberspace way. Realism is boring, and this is a fascinating bit of the zeitgeist two years before William Gibson writes Neuromancer.

Unfortunately, though, the script, plot and characterisation are poor, and not even a generally high standard of performance can save them. Yes, the visuals are amazing and the look of the film is justly Famous. But I’m the end what we have is a turd which has been polished to a legendary standard. No wonder the visuals are all that ever gets talked about.

Fantastic Voyage (1966)

"The antibodies will attack as if she were bacteria!"

This is a very silly film, played incredibly straight and, what’s even weirder, what looks and acts like a sci-fi B Movie is helmed by a proper Hollywood director and seemingly lavished with cash..

The performances are a cut above what you can expect from a B movie, with Donald Pleasance standing out as (spoilers) the baddie. We sort of know we’re not supposed to like Dr Michaels when he suggests that the wonders of the human body may have arisen through evolution, as confirmed many times over by empirical observation, as opposed to being a literal “miracle”.

The whole thing is surprisingly focused, with very little framing device; with the minimum of fuss a team is put into a submarine, shrunk and injected into the bloodstream of the ill man who absolutely must be cured because plot reasons. It begins quickly, ends abruptly and consists of various perils from the human body in-betweeen, with the realisation of the bloodstream, the heart and various organs being actually pretty impressive. Meanwhile there’s a bunch of fretting military types watching their progress, in scenes that must surely have inspired Airplane!

It’s all very ‘60s spy film, sent in the present day in a large government facility with massive corridors that looks like a Bond villain hideout, complete with those cool little cars. There’s only one token woman, of course, and she’s an assistant. And, er, Raquel Welch is playing a character called Cora. Yes, Cora.

But what’s extraordinary about this film is, firstly, that it actually looks pretty damn good and gets away visually with the premise, but mainly in the way it carries out the Lost art of doing something very, very silly with absolute seriousness. They don’t make them like this any more...

Angel: Release

"You made me lose my shopkeeper!"

Another gripping and desperate episode here as a badass, damaged Faith and a badass, damaged Wesley team up to hunt Angelus all the way to a vampiric opium den while competing entertainingly to see which of them is the most badass. Unexpectedly it turns out to be Wes who stabs a junkie for information and goes disturbingly intense on Faith. Ouch.

Meanwhile, Cordy is doing silly voices as the baddie whenever she's not manipulating the very teenage Connor with his silly grown-out hair (when I was his age at least I did long hair properly and, indeed, still do) and constantly mentioning that she's pregnant with a baby who seems to be growing at an abnormally fast rate.

Meanwhile Fred tries to get back together with Gunn, they kiss, and... it's still really awkward. That's awful, but what often happens when a couple split up and regret it; it can never be as though the bad stuff never happened.

We get an interesting cliffhanger, as Angelus seems about to bite Faith in the neck and sire her. This seems to cry out for a bit of a cheat resolution, but we'll see. I'm not sure how long this Angelus stuff will last, but I for one am hugely enjoying David Boreanaz's deliciously evil performances.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

“I’ve got to do a wee first.”

It’s hard to write objectively about a film you’ve seen as many times as I’ve seen this one. I saw it at the pictures back in the day and make no bones about the fact that I love everything about it. It’s funny, it’s brilliant and I’m two years younger than Shaun; this is my generation.

Obviously the whole thing is a tribute to George Romero, with zombies standing for both consumerism and the autopilot nature of the rat race; several times Shaun gets up and gives a zombie-like yawn, and in the background of the early scenes there are many instances of blatant zombie behaviour that look normal in the context of the morning commute. This is at once very funny and making an effective point. This sort of thing punctuates the film.

But of course this is a comedy, and a very good one, the first of Edgar Wright’s trilogy featuring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost and the last one of the three that I’ve blogged. It’s not so long, this being 2004, since Spaced, so it’s good that Jessica Hynes makes an appearance and indeed is the hero of another film- a nice touch; Shaun and co don’t save the world; other people do. They just want safety,  comfort and a pint until this all blows over.

The British TV comedy cast is uniformly brilliant, and both Pegg and Frost are superb. Kate Ashfield deserves praise for her performance as Kate; the straight role is often underappreciated in a comedy. There’s lots of visual comedy for which Wright deserves much credit. And the script is bloody genius- I love the moment when they’re choosing what records to throw at the zombie. And, of course, there’s the heartwarming ending. I’ve seen this film about half a dozen times and, yes, I will see it several times more.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: First Date

"Like a bidet of evil..."

Jane Espenson writes again as we get a light-hearted episode before things are clearly about to get very desperate as the First has returned from its plot-convenient mid-season hiatus. This is so obvious that Giles spends the entire episode acting as Greek chorus and bollocking everyone about not taking it all seriously enough.

So we have a light-hearted plot in which Xander gets a date with a nice girl who turns out to be nice, sort of, but also homicidally and kinkily demonic. Oh, and Buffy gets asked out on an awkward date with Principal Wood. The script seems to gloss over the power imbalance of dating one’s boss, and Willow even suggests he may be asking her out to offer a promotion without suggesting this may be in any way a bit dodgy but hey, it’s 2003.

Anyway, we slowly find out that he has a load of weapons hidden in his office, he can fight camps, knows Buffy is the Slayer and- the bombshell- is the son of a Slayer himself, orphaned at four and raised by his mum’s Watcher. It’s a compelling backstory, and soon he joins Buffy and (awkwardly) Spike in resolving the Xander plot.

However, we get quite a conclusion in which the First reveals that, as we saw in Fool for Love, his mother was killed by none other than Spike. Ouch.

Elsewhere, we finally get a rather cheaty resolution to that Giles cliffhanger, Andrew gets to prove his loyalty to the Scoobies, there’s some comedy with the Scoobies being vaguely racist to a Potential from China, and Giles is appalled that (surprise) Buffy chose to have Spike’s chip removed. It’s an excellent episode but a foreboding one.

Except... is it me or is Xander’s tirade about only ever dating evil types so Willow should turn him gay a little bit not at all ok? At least Alyson Hannigan has the sense to act appalled. But you certainly wouldn’t get a scene like this in 2018.

Friday the 13th, Part III (1982)

“How come you never scream when we have sex?"

"Give me something to scream about..."

 I've said it before, and I'll say it again because it's still very relevant; watching the Friday the 13th films after the Scream films is probably not for the best. Once you've seen all those slasher tropes deconstructed time and time again it's a little bizarre to see them played with a straight bat, as they are here. As it happens the film is well made (the hilariously unconvincing popping eyeball aside...), and probably the best so far, but still...

We get a bunch of teens headed to a cabin by the lake in the woods. We get a weird old man warning them off. People do genre unwise things like having sex, smoking dope and carrying out practical jokes about being gruesomely murdered. There's no subversion of the cliches at all, just constant leaning into them. But, you know what? It works. Well, mostly.

This is the third film in the series and the first to feature (with no explanation) the hockey mask, which is a good idea and rather effective. As, on the whole, are the set pieces. I like the dart in the eye. The characters are a bit generic and blend into each other, but you expect that. But some of them are likeable and, like poor doomed virgin Shelly, some even have pathos. There's sex in a hammock, and a shower scene which probably counts as misdirection. It's an entertaining 90 minutes that holds the attention. But, well, surely in 1982 this had been done a million times or more? Three films in (after a bit of a hiatus) and I'm still concluding that the films are, yes, perfectly decent, but it's hard to understand what makes them so iconic.

Iron Man (2008)

“I’m just not the hero type. Clearly.”

 Obviously I've seen this film before. It's just that it was before the blog, and I didn't blog the two sequels at the time because I hadn't blogged the originals- incidentally, that's why I haven't yet blogged Captain America: Civil War. But now it's catch up time.

This is, of course, the first Marvel Cinematic Universe film. The fact that it was awesome has a lot to answer for. But awesome it is, largely because it's a solidly executed, scripted and realised action film. But there's more. To begin with, here's a triumphant piece of casting at its centre. This is the film that resurrected the career of ex-junkie Robert Downey Jr, returning him to A list status by giving him the role of Tony Stark, the part he was born to play.

It's also a rare example of a film making the correct choice in doing the origin story- usually a bad move for a superhero film, But Iron Man's origin is not too long-winded, full of action, and easily updated from Vietnam to Afghanistan. But mostly it's about Downey's perfect Tony Stark, the superb rock soundtrack, the solid storytelling. But it's more than that. This is a carefully constructed start to a cinematic universe, with SHIELD subtly introduced with Agent Coulson and, in the first MCU post-credits sequence, Nick Fury. And then there are the little things- Pepper, played by a major star; Happy; "Ten Rings", Jeff Bridges as an authentic Obadiah Stane. This is easily the best Marvel film up to this point- still one of the best- and the harbinger of great things to come.#

All this, and Stan as Hugh Hefner...

Angel: Salvage

"You ok?"

"Five by five..."

Talk about spoilers. When you click on this episode on the Season Four DVD you get a massive great big pic of Faith. Never mind; it’s great to see her.

It’s good to see the episode start by not minimising Lilah’s death;  of only does Stephanie Romanov get a screen credit but there’s an interesting sequence with Wesley prevaricating before he beheads her possibly vamped body. Did she love him, and is he in denial about it? Did he perhaps have hopes of reforming her? These are interesting questions, deepening Wesley’s character further and showing us what an actor Alexis Denisof is.

Anyway, Faith. The attempt to assassinate are her in prison may have more to do with what’s going on in Buffy, but she’s as badass as ever. Importantly, she’s determined to continue serving her sentence and atone for what she’s done, and it’s only when Wesley reveals the full seriousness of the situation- Angelus is loose- that she realises she’s needed and breaks out. Easily.

The first time I saw this I had objections; wasn’t this undermining Faith’s whole redemption arc by saying that she was, after all, above the law because she’s a super being? This time round I don’t see it that way. She’s truly needed. I just hope she returns to prison after all this is over.

It’s great to see her with Wesley, too; through her eyes we can see just how much her ex-Watcher has changed.

Angel may now be on a different network to Buffy these days, so it’s surprising to see some borderline crossover stuff as Angel rings Dawn briefly. But such things are brief as Faith swiftly meets the gang and takes charge, impressing Gunn by putting Connor firmly in his place.

Meanwhile, Cordy is usually “resting” upstairs in the hotel and during those times she’s off being the Beast’s evil “master”. We get to see the two of them together briefly, ending in her commanding the Beast to “give mama some sugar” and sings him. Urgh!

The climax is doubly interesting. The Beast defeats Faith, badly, and it’s Angelus who kills the beast and restores the Sun, not her, and for his own less than noble reasons. And then the big reveal- Cordy is pregnant not only in real life (apparently leading to big rewrites) but with Connor’s child...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Killer in Me

"Who you gonna call... God, that phrase is never gonna be usable again, is it?"

What an unexpected excellent episode. A heartbreaking but also lovely Willow A-plot, a cleverly set up Giles comedy subplot, and also some stuff about Spike's chip. It's cleverly constructed, full of great lines, warm, affecting, funny; all the things we know about Buffy. Yes, last episode was so-so, an inevitability for even the best series when you have a ridiculous 22 episodes per season. This is the opposite, an encapsulation of the things we so love about Buffy.

The silly Giles sub-plot, as ever presenting much-needed levity and balance, is clever, explaining why that cliffhanger several episodes ago was never resolved. It gives the remaining characters something to do by giving them a reason to suspect Giles of being the First. It leads to the classic line “You think I’m evil if I bring a bunch of girls on a camping trip and don’t touch them?” Of course, it also gets those bloody annoying Potentials out of the way.

We also get Spike having potentially fatal issues with his chip, culminating in some people we don’t know from the Initiative giving Buffy a choice between repairing the chip and getting rid of it. We don’t yet find out, but I suspect she’ll choose the latter.

Finally, we get Kennedy’s rather lovely and romantic pursuit of a Willow who, in spite of everything and all her power, is touchingly innocent. This is what starts their relationship going but it’s also clever to have Amy curse her in such a way that, guilt-ridden, her subconscious chooses her own punishment- to turn into Warren. It’s nice that Amy gets a nuanced motive- “She almost destroyed the world and everyone just keeps on loving her?”, but perfect that the whole thing is solved, like the magic fairy tale Kennedy keeps talking about, by love’s true kiss.

Can we have loads more like this, please?

Angel: Calvary

"Those evil geniuses- get you every time."

More Angelus fun this episode, so more menace, more discord, more superb oozing of evil from David Boreanaz, more despair. But we also get a twist- the Beast has a boss. Then, at the end, well... a bigger twist.

It's an awfully well-structured episode in highlight, with some superb scripting- Angelus' subtle racism to Gunn is as bad as anything he does, and the developments between Fred, Gunn and Wes are nuanced. The clash on the stairs between Cordy and Lilah harbingers stuff later on, of course, and Connor is a little snit but a useful one. A script like this needs both well-defined characters and a great cast, and it has both.

Angelus is in control here, pulling the strings, and we find that all reference and, indeed, memory of the Beast has been magically erased by something bigger, the actual Big Bad. And then the final shock; we think Angelus is going to kill Lilah... and Cordy does. What's going on? Is she the Big Bad? Whatever happens this season is on fire, never standing still. I love it.

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

“Well, at least we can all agree the third one's always the worst...!

 Yet again an X-Men film that isn't supposed to be all that great turns out to be pretty damn good viewing. Oh, I know that the continuity has been pretty dodgy anyway and at this point they just give up and blatantly contradict stuff about all kinds of characters. It's also awkward having two alternate casts, the less expensive of which we see here. But it's nice to get an X-Men film where Scott gets to be a likeable hero for once. It's also nice tht Wolverine, rather than hogging the limelight as usual, only gets a Weapon X cameo.

Apocalypse is a solid villain, with  suitably epic backstory and oodles of power. The film has metatextual fun with its 1983 setting, hence the line above, ostensibly about Return of the Jedi but, well, you know. It’s also fun utilising the freedom to make characters like Angel (him off EastEnders), Psylocke and even Storm be baddies for a bit. There’s the obligatory “how Charles lost his hair” bit. Of course there is. There are the obligatory philosophical scenes with Charles, Eric and Raven, but not too much. But most of the time it’s what we want to see: cool set pieces. And few are cooler than Quicksilver, even if he is dead in Marvel’s other celluloid universe. This film is quite simply just fun to watch. The timeline  and cobrinuity may be utterly broken but the film makes the right decision to ignore all that and just go with it. Quite right too.

Is it just me, though, or are we all fed up of Colonel William bloody Stryker...?