The Sweeney: Abduction

 "One by one they stopped inviting us. One by one the Christmas cards stopped coming. One by one I lost every friend I ever had."

Yes, there are the usual "look it's the '70s" moments here. A Wimpy. An old warm-up television set that I remember from my childhood at Regan's ex's house. Eight year old childsren walking to school alone. But damn... this episode knocks all of its predecessors into a cocked hat. This is a truly compelling bit of drama.

The conceit is simple: Rergan's daughter is kidnapped, and he's warned to take no action about an expected robbery if he wants her to go unharmed. But it's not really about the plot, which ends up being fairly straightforward. It's about character. And my God, Regan is such a nuanced, real character.

Once again we see how George's wife Alison is no fan of Regan's. But we also see that he's divorced, and he doesn't see his daughter as often as he should. And we get the astonishing scene in which his ex really lashes out at him, including the above quote. This, and the companion scene that ends the episode and shows them coming to a reconciliation of sorts, tells us exactly how the marriage unfolded, and how Regan's addiction to his job means he may never find happiness in his relationships.

The final confrontation with Haskins and the Inspector handling the investigation into the kidnapping is similarly dramatic, real... and, in the end, nuanced. The relationship between Regan and Haskins will never be smooth. Yet there's a genuine mutial respect, however grudging.

Extraordinary television. 

As we've come to theend of the first series, I'll be giving The Sweeney a rest for a while. But it'll be back...

The Blood Beast Terror (1968)

 "They'll never believe this at the Yard!"

There were many non-Hammer, non-Amicus little horror films starring Peter Cushing in the late '60s, essentially because he needed the money to go private with the pressng mecical needs of his very ill wife, who was unfortunately to die a couple of years later. This is a fairly anonymous example and, objectively, you can't exactly say it's particularly good. But you can't help but enjoy it.

The plot is a mess, of course. It's not entirely clear why the professor's daughter ends up as a man-eating moth, why he so suddenly turns against her or, indeed, whether he's a professor or a doctor. Also, the moth costume is rubbish, but Vernon Sewell at least has the sense to only show it in glimpses.

Yet the Victorian sets are glorious- including a wonderful chemistry set. There's a play within the film, loosely based on Frankenstein, which lasts for quite a while and is gloriously bonkers. Peter Cushing, although clearly phoning it in, is incapable of being less than excellent. We have Kevin Stoney as a sinister butler, and a couple of splendid comic cameos from a shockingly young Roy Hudd as a cheerful morgue attendant..

And Victorian tropes and references abound. Cushing's daughter has her blood sucked and is mesmerised to remain under the baddies' control- all very Dracula. There's a colonial scene featuring a pith helmet. The police are splendidly Victorian, and the sergeant has a truly magnificent moustache. This may be a very silly film, and not intentionally so, but it's eminently watchable and rather good fun.

The Prisoner: It's Your Funeral

"I can think of better ways to die..."

"And better causes to die for."

Well, here’s yet another very good episode in a run of what have been particularly good ones- at least in the order I’m watching. It takes a while to work out what’s going on- acting Number Two trying to discredit Number Six as a Cassandra so he can carry out a plot from on high to assassinate the actual Number Two at the moment of his retirement (is the motive really just to avoid paying a pension?!), and it’s she slow reveal of what’s happening that makes the episode so enjoyable. It leads to some questions, though. Who are all these Number Twos? How many of those we’ve met so far have been “acting”? How long is a Number Two’s term? Why have we never seen the actual Number Two before? Were all the others just “acting”?

A big highlight of this episode is Derren Nesbitt’s excellently mannered performance as the acting Number Two- and, for us Doctor Who fans, this is a veritable Marco Polo reunion with both Mark Eden and Kublai Khan himself, Martin Miller. Not only that but there’s a minor role for Wanda Ventham. Not many episodes have such a cast as this.

We also get to see the bizarre, crash-helmeted, trampoline-based sport that is Kosho, which briefly appeared last episode- I think this is completely made up. In any other series I’d describe it as utterly surreal but, well...

Yes, I suppose the resolution is predictable, but I love the stoic fatalism of the outgoing Number Two, who survives but probably not for long. This is a superbly weird piece of telly.

Captain Kronos- Vampire Hunter (1974)

"What he doesn't know about vampirism wouldn't fill a flea's codpiece."

This is a film that, whatever its virtues, and notwithstanding that it isn't the last one, is as good as any to mark the end of Hammer. With Lee and Cushing pretty much gone from the scene, this film was intended to spearhead an entire new series of Hammer horror films- but it ended up having its delayed for two years and flopping at the box office. What went wrong?

Well, at first glance an awful lot went right. The script from Brian Clemens is clever, twisty-turny, full of compelling characters and nicely establishing a wider mythology about various types of vampires which behave differently- this one ages its victims- and can be killed in different ways, something explored nicely and which gives obvious sequel potential. It’s also creepily shot by Brian Clemens himself, with the vampire attack scenes creatively shot from the vampire’s POV and with plenty of suspense. There’s also a solid and effective cast of splendid British character actors, led by the superb John Cater but including Wanda Ventham, Ian Hendry and John Carson. It also features the very delightful Caroline Munro. There’s a lot going for this film.

Sadly, though, it has two big problems. The first is the casting of Horst Janson. The character of Kronos is awesome- I love his swordsmanship and how he deals with the ruffians in the pub- and Janson is pretty good, but if you have to dub all of your star’s lines because you can’t understand his German accent you have a rather big problem. There’s an awkward disjoint here that overshadows everything. And the second problem is, I think, Clemens’ direction. He can shoot certain types of scenes very well indeed, and you can’t fault his visual storytelling, but there’s a certain dull, overcast feel to the cinematography where a hint of swashbuckling fun was required. The tone doesn’t feel quite right.

It’s a real shame. There’s an excellent film inside this struggling to get out but alas it, and the continuing future of Hammer, was not to be.

Sherlock: The Final Problem

"I wrote my own version of the nativity when I was a child. "The Hungry Donkey". It was a bit gory. But if you're gonna put a baby in a manger, you're asking for trouble."

I've not been quick in blogging this episode so I've not failed to notice the divided reaction which seems, anecdotally, to be more negative than not. And one of the main criticisms I hear- that this is yet another non-whodunit- is a valid one in that Moffat and Gatiss are certainly not writing what their audience wants and expects from Sherlock. But here lies, I suppose, the question: are writers mere hacks hired to give an audience what they want, or are they artists who may transcend such considerations? There is, of course, no easy answer, and I do not claim to be firmly on either side. But I will make the obvious point that giving the audience what that want connects very awkwardly with giving them surprise and unexpected events. I will also note that I enjoyed this episode very much. And that Mrs Llamastrangler was deeply affected, to the point of tears at the end.

This episode is a series of interlocking puzzles and fun little intellectual games, all with a touch of the macabre, but it is of course really about the character stuff, an excuse to explore the psyches of not only the fascinating Eurus but also Sherlock, John and the pleasingly foregrounded Mycroft.

If there's a disappointment it's the relative lack of Moriarty, whose games from beyond the grave do not come close to living up to expectations and whose screen time is painfully limited. But Eurus is a superb creation and Sian Brooke gives an incredible performance. It's so very clever that, after all the misdirection hinting at a third Holmes brother called "Sherrinford", this is simply the name of the prison where Eurus does her Silence of the Lambs stuff.

There are clever nods to The Musgrave Ritual and The Three Garridebs, but here we are quite moving away from a Holmes canon that the series may have outgrown. Certainly, each character- including Mrs Hudson, Molly and Lestrade, gets what would work as a final scene, suggesting that this may have been intended as a possible finale. I suspect no one connected with the show really knows whether or not Sherlock will ever be back, what with everyone being so very busy, but that this was designed as a fitting finale if need be. I hope it isn't, and I'm sure the creators do too. After all, we end with Sherlock and John both back in 221B Baker Street, and The Dancing Men...

And yeah. Mrs Hudson vacuuming to "The Number of the Beast". Awesome.

Sherlock: His Last Vow

"I'm a doctor. I know how to sprain people."

After two episodes which play with structure we get something resembling a more traditional plot, although it is not so much a whodunit as a question of precisely how Sherlock will bring down the nefarious Charles Augustus Magnusssen. There's a big twist, certainly, in the revelation that Magnussen's "documents" are stored only in his head, but the structure of this episode is less traditional than it appears.

The unusually prominent political subtext is something new, too. Magnussen is a fairly transparent analogue for Rupert Murdoch, of whom I, as a Guardian reader who has been following the whole phone hacking saga since long before it was fashionable to do so, am most certainly not a fan. I find the description of red top tabloids' activities as blackmail quite apt. It's also nice to see Sherlock shooting the bounder at the end. As he says, "The personal freedom of anyone you've ever met is a fantasy."

But none of this is really the point: this episode is about Mary, whom Magnussen is blackmailing on account of her apparently quite bloodstained past, and the strain which this revelation places on her relationship with John. John's fury, their awkward estrangement over Christmas, and their deeply moving reconciliation are all beautifully written and acted. As per the original Charles Augustus Milverton, however, Sherlock gives not a jot about why she is being blackmailed.

Lars Mikkelsen is splendidly slimy as Magnussen, with a clear undercurrent of sexual molestation in his treatment of both Lady Smallwood and John. But it is, as ever, the small character beats that make this episode shine, from Molly slapping Sherlock for lapsing back into his Class A habit to every scene between John and Mary. Sherlock's explanation to John that he has pretended to be in love with Janine, even to the point of engagement, just to get at her boss, reminds us what a sociopath he is, but it's nice to see she gets her revenge by selling kiss-and-tell stories to the tabloids, which ties in nicely with the episode's themes.

The scenes inside Sherlock's head, after Mary shoots him, are an act of directorial genius, the highlight being Moriarty in his padded shell, doubling as a nice bit of foreshadowing. Appropriately, it is one Louis Moffat who plays the young Sherlock.

Obviously, the highlight of the whole episode is Sherlock and Mycroft being caught smoking by their mother, especially in the light of Magnussen's description of Mycroft as the most powerful man in the country. But the climactic scene highlights the parallels between Sherlock and Magnussen: both are sociopaths, both have "mind palaces", but the parallels end there. 

It looks as though Magnussen has won, but Sherlock manages to cut the Gordian Knot by killing him. It looks as though he faces exile and certain death for this murder, but then we get our cliffhanger: Moriarty is back...

Sherlock: The Empty Hearse

"What did he say?"

"F..."

"Cough."

I'm so very late in writing up this season of Sherlock (and, yet, much else... I have sooooo many sets of notes to write up!) that it feels so much has been said in the blogosphere already about this first episode already, particularly about its interaction with online fandom, with which this episode often feels like a dialogue, that it's supposedly far too metatextual for its own good, and that this episode doesn't really function as a whodunit.

To all this I shall briefly point out that the episode simply had to address the huge cliffhanger at the end of the last series, indeed it had to devote a whole episode to Sherlock's return and it's consequences. This pretty much removes the possibility of structuring this episode around a traditional whodunit format, and what's wrong with a bit of format-stretching anyway? And while, contradictory to what has been said by many commenters, we do in fact get an "official" explanation of Sherlock's survival (with cheeky caveats!), this was never the real point; what people have really waited two years for is the reaction to Sherlock's resurrection, especially from John. And we are not disappointed.

Far more interesting are the characters, the story beats and the series' traditional wit. And the latter of these has always been somewhat metatextual.

With all that out of the way...

The episode needs a murder plot to chug away in the background while all the character stuff happens, but this time it it (rightly) kept in the background, albeit with the character of Lord Moran harking back nicely to The Empty House. The terrorist plot itself is little more than a superficial retread of V for Vendetta, but that isn't a bad thing; this is a nice little shorthand for the viewer so that this subplot doesn't take up too much time.

The thing that is lingered on, and rightly so, is Sherlock's return, and it's consequences. Because time has not stood still over the last two years: John has got engaged (and Mrs Hudson, hilariously, assumes that it's to a man!), although 221B Baker Street is fortunately untenanted. Molly has a boyfriend who looks suspiciously like Sherlock, and the blogosphere abounds with theories on how Sherlock may have survived.

Sherlock's reveal to John is hilarious, of course, coming as it does in the middle of John's proposal to Mary, who is quite wonderful. Hilariously, Sherlock's explanation is punctuated by various acts of violence on him by John, which lead them to be thrown out of various restaurants and have to continue their conversation in progressively shabbier eateries. Mary, of course, likes him.

Mycroft knew, of course. And he and Sherlock have an insightful chat, over games of chess and Operation, about Sherlock's feelings of isolation without John there to be with him during his cases. But John, adrenaline junkie that he is, is quickly bored without the fix that Sherlock's cases give him, and quickly gets himself kidnapped for reasons which will go unexplained for a couple of episodes. This gives Sherlock a good chance to bond with Mary as they set out to rescue him.

We end with all back to the original status quo, and with a glimpse of a mysterious baddie. This episode is a wild ride, but it is far from self-contained. Sherlock suddenly feels far more like a serial drama than it did. Onwards, then...

Doctor Who: Time and the Rani

Part One
 

“Leave the girl. It’s the man I want.”

I think I recall being impressed with the opening scene of last season, with its proto-CGI opening. Well, this season starts with some proto-bad CGI. It’s all very confusing and poorly animated. And the regeneration, inevitably as Colin isn’t there, is embarrassingly awful. But it’s not just the unfortunate necessities forced upon the production team that lead to this story’s jaw-dropping awfulness- Pip n’ Jane’s dialogue is awful from the very first scene, and the whole thing’s obviously pitched at very young kids.

Admittedly the title sequence is great, but as soon as it’s over the nightmare continues. Sylvester McCoy was my Doctor, and it was when I started watching the show again with Remembrance of the Daleks back in 1988 that I stopped being an occasional viewer and started being a fan. So it’s a huge shock to see just how horrifyingly bad McCoy is in his first scene. This is extremely bad television, and I’m extremely glad I wasn’t watching the show at the time, as this episode could have put me off for ever.

The effects are great, though- the pink sky of Lakertya, and especially the bubbles- but when the Rani starts impersonating Mel things take a turn for the even worse.

Part Two

“Memory like a kangaroo…”

I’ll admit that was a great cliffhanger. This is still somewhat despair-inducing, though. Even the characterisation of the new Doctor seems to consist of little more than spoon playing, absent-mindedness and malapropisms. And he’s too easily fooled by the Rani. Still, McCoy’s performance has settled down.

We get our first proper look at the Tetrap costume, and it’s impressive. Mel, of course, proceeds to scream a lot. I still like her, mind. Sadly, though, these scenes feature particularly awful incidental music- Keff McCulloch has arrived.

Interestingly, the Doctor is 953 years old (as is the Rani, apparently) so the Sixth Doctor’s tenure seems to have lasted for a good fifty years or so in spite of how little of it we saw on screen. Not bad, considering both the Second and Fifth Doctors couldn’t possibly have lasted more than a few years. And there’s massive scope for untelevised adventures between this season and the last.

Another thing; we suddenly seem unmistakeably to be in the late ‘80s, what with the theme tune, title sequence, horribly dated incidental music and words like “biodegradable” appearing in the dialogue.

Part Three

“Haven’t I seen you hanging around somewhere?”

Mostly this episode is just captures, escapes, and other such padded dullness with no entertainment value whatsoever. Although it’s cool to see the Tetraps hanging upside down, like bats. But it’s striking how little substance there is to this; I’m finding very little to comment on.

Unfortunately the sight of the big brain is the most groan-inducing moment in the marathon so far…

Part Four

“I have the Loyhargil. Nothing can stop me now!”

More awfulness, with the Doctor’s arsing about in the brain being probably the worst moment, but by now I’m just waiting for the story to finish. This is worse even than Underworld, and that’s the ultimate put down.
And after a break from this sort of thing under Colin Baker, we again finish with a crowded TARDIS…

Well, I hated that. 1/5, rock bottom. With hindsight I know the era’s going to recover, but viewers at the time weren’t to know that. This is the least promising introduction to a season, an era ands a Doctor that we could possibly have imagined. Pip and Jane are the main problem; I’m sure the science is sound, but the whole thing is just pitched wrong. It’s not the fact it’s being pitched at children I object to- it is a children’s programme, after all. But this is a very lazy example of writing for children, with no depth to either the characters or the themes. There’s nothing here but the bare plot and some patronisingly “educational” science stuff, with even the new Doctor having barely any personality at this stage. Fortunately, from the next story onwards we’ll get an actual script editor, and some direction to the stories.

Doctor Who: Image of the Fendahl

Part One

“You must have been sent by Providence.”

“No, I were sent by the council to cut the verges.”

After the car crash that was The Invisible Enemy it’s a huge relief to see Chris Boucher’s name popping up, and once again he doesn’t disappoint. We start with a mysterious skull, but in spite of the obvious parallels with Quatermass and the Pit there’s a lot more going ion here than just a rehash. And fittingly for a Chris Boucher story Scott Fredericks appears, again reminding me of the excellent Kaldor City audios. K9 only gets fleeting appearances at the start and end of the story, but he’s have jarred with the story’s tone in any case.

It’s immediately noticeable how much better written the Doctor and Leela are compared to the previous story, which should come as no surprise from Leela’s creator. And the story, atmosphere and guest characters are all brilliant from the start. It’s a clever touch that Thea and Adam, the sympathetic characters amongst Fendelman’s group, are implicated by being persuaded not to tell the police about the corpse found by Adam. And I just love the Doctor’s “Good morning, ladies!” to a herd of cows. We also get a self-referential moment that’s much wittier than usual: “You’ve both escaped from somewhere, haven’t you?” “Frequently.”

Part Two

“Alas, poor skull.”

We get to see a glimpse of the Fendahleen here, and we’re given the beginnings of a backstory- it seems the fifth planet of the solar system broke up about twelve million years ago, the same age as the skull. And Thea is mysteriously claiming to have planned the whole thing. This is all excellent stuff, with a mystery developing nicely and a threat which may be a little nebulous but somehow feels defined in the way it didn’t in Horror of Fang Rock.

It’s noticeable the Doctor isn’t around much in this episode, mind.

Part Three

“Dr Fendelman, I think you have an industrial relations problem.”

Leela saves the Doctor’s life, and we get a moment that could be sexual tension between them if not for the fact that there hasn’t been any other sign of any such thing. We get another excellent episode, with even the use of sci-fi concepts to explain second sight being just about passable. Stael’s agenda becomes clear, and Scott Fredericks really is excellent here. Arguably the Quatermass and the Pit connection starts to get a bit much here, what with Mrs Tyler’s “race memory” and all, but it’s all so good I don’t really mind.

We get drip fed some more backstory; apparently the fifth planet was erased from existence, War Lord-like, by the Time Lords. And the situation is nicely summed up by Fendelman just before Stael shoots him: “I have been used! You are being used! MANKIND HAS BEEN USED!”

Part Four

“…Or, on the other hand, it could all be just a coincidence.”

A simply staggering conclusion to a simply magnificent story, with elements from folklore turning out to be essential to the plot- the use of salt here is clever, and in many ways shows how this story in some ways parallels The Dæmons, only done much better.

Oh, and the Doctor fires a gun. Again. He’s always doing that!

I love the Doctor’s explanation to Adam, which at the same time explains what’s going on but remains just ambiguous enough for the Fendahl to retain its mystery. Apparently it destroyed Mars on the way, but it’s not as though Doctor Who has ever featured any Martians!

Utterly superb. An easy 5/5, and a new entry to my top five. After a wobbly start the Graham Williams era suddenly pulls an all time great story out of the bag.

Doctor Who: The Faceless Ones

Part One


"It's a flying beastie!"


Once again, I'm really appreciating the luxury of actual footage, and DVD quality no less. And one of the first things we see is a 60s copper with one of those old comedy chinstraps! It's little things like this that make me miss footage so much. A good start from this Malcolm Hulke chap- I wonder if we'll ever hear from him again?

Our heroes get separated within seconds- is this a record? I notice that it's Jamie the Doctor finds first, and he's only mildly concerned about finding the others- favouritism? As many said in the Macra Terror thread, Jamie has now become his fully-fledged permanent self, and the on-screen rapport between Troughton and Hines is now at full strength fabness.

This is very well-directed, which along with the script makes it all seem very reminiscent of The Avengers, not a type of story I remember seeing before- this is most pleasing as recent stories, though good, have not been as innovative as they used to be.

The Doctor and Jamie don't seem all that enthusiastic to help Polly find Ben, and they seem to lose Polly rather easily! And Ben doesn't seem to be in this episode much at all, especially towards the end. A very unusual episode- the only real sci-fi element until the cliffhanger arrives is the ray gun.


Part Two


"We have ways of dealing with such people!"


Back to the recon, then, which is good for one thing at least- the captions along the bottom ain't half good at getting you to learn the names of all the guest characters! Things slow down an awful lot with this episode- the eye chart stuff is blatant filler, and you begin to notice how little is happening. It's not too much of a problem, at least not yet, as you're still curious about what's going on. But things need to start happening soon. And this may be competently written but after The Macra Terror it all looks a bit formulaic.

It's Pauline Collins! Er, that's an interesting Liverpool accent. Very Z-Cars... Of course, I barely recognised her as the photo's very fuzzy. These old Loose Cannon recons are noticeably much less good than the recent ones, although the fact that mine is a 50,000th generation copy probably isn't helping!

Ah, Ben finds Polly and looks around for a phone. Not the kind of scene you see much of in drama today...



Part Three


"All right, stay here. After all, they can only murder me. Ta ra!"


The Doctor's being menaced by a sinister surveillance camera. Makes you think, that- back in 1967 surveillance cameras were the stuff of Orwellian nightmares!

I'm loving the relationship between Jamie and the clearly-intended-as-a-possible-companion Samantha. And Jamie gets pulled up on why he always does what the Doctor says, which seems to be a developing theme.

Er, where have Ben and Polly gone?

Part Four


"It'll cost you 28 quid. Pounds, to you."

"Ach, but that's a fortune! I've never seen that much money in my life!"


I've only just noticed, eight episodes into the new title sequence, that the music has changed as well! Duh. It's also becoming very noticeable that this is a very old recon- perhaps there's a more recent one? The photos are not clear at all and there's no footage from the surviving episodes used for recaps, the first time I've seen this.

The deathtrap set here for the Doctor, Jamie and Samantha is in no way evocative of a certain 60s film, and I have no doubt that no one above me in this thread can possibly have quoted the line "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!"

Ooh, a mention for Ben and Polly!

Once again we get some obvious padding out of the episode to fill up the time as Meadows is found not to be on duty. The episode ends intriguingly though- it's a crying shame we can't see Jamie's 18th century reaction to being on a plane!

Part Five


"Polly, then Ben, now Jamie..."

A swanky space station in Earth orbit may not be particularly futuristic now but, of course, in 1967, six years before Skylab, this stuff was all in the zeitgeist. Plus we get miniaturised people! In filing cabinets!

At last, the all important exposition scene... what? An explosion, er, destroys the identities of the Chameleons? oh dear. Still, nicely surprising when the Inspector turns out to be a duplicate- and the Director, no less!

Good old Doctor- cheerfully going on to the chameleon plane without any sort of plan! Nurse Pinto's really quite incredibly brave too. They completely fluff their bluffing, mind- Pinto still refers to the "chameleon" who's ostensibly switched bodies from Meadows to the Doctor as "Meadows" and we're to expect Blade won't smell a rat!

Oh, and it's just dawned on me- the Inspector / Director is none other than good old Bernard Kay!


Part Six


"We are the most intelligent race in the universe!"


Interesting line spoken by Blade about both Pinto and the Doctor: "I checked at the medical centre. You're both human!" So, it's not as though the Doctor has, say, an alien physiology or anything! Still, he does have tendencies towards vandalism, which he demonstrates rather splendidly with the Chameleons' machine. I love the Trout!

Samantha leaves rather abruptly after all the proto-companioneering, but at least she and Jamie get to snog each other, according to my recon at least. And we actually get to see Ben and Polly again. Yay! I was genuinely fearing they were about to be Dodo'd. It's a bit of a coincidence that this is the exact date they left, of course, but we get a wonderfully evocative pair of lines between Polly and the Doctor that should be much better known: "The thing is, Doctor... it's my world." "Yes, yes, you're very lucky... I never got back to mine."


Well... I didn't think much of that really. It was competently structured, perhaps, and what we could see of it looked good, but things just happened so bloody slowly. This is the first time in the marathon I have to trot out the old cliché about a six parter being two episodes too long. But it's not just that- it all just felt so formulaic, and felt oddly humourless. Where was the sparkle in the dialogue? Still, I liked Samantha, and the Doctor / Jamie double act (and, I'm sure, shipping!) properly starts here. 2/5