P.R.O.B.E: The Zero Imperative

 "This is a hospital, Miss Shaw. Not Scooby-Doo."

It says a lot about me was that tonight's viewing was a choice between a 1980s BBC TV production of Sophocles' Antigone and this, a straight-to-video Doctor Who spin-off from the wilderness years. My geek side just won out against my pretentious git side... this time!

Thing is, though, this may not be Sophocles but it's a very impressive script from a young Mark Gatiss, a tale of dark, otherworldly forces, possession and family tragedy that is perfectly paced, well characterised and unfolds in a deeply satisfying way, with revelation after revelation. Bill Baggs' direction, too, is impressive, using stylistic camerawork to cover what must have been a tiny budget.

The dialogue is great, as is Caroline John as Liz Shaw, now running her own outfit investigating supernatural weirdness in contrast to "another acronymic organisation from my salad days"- love the pipe.

Nevertheless... although Jon Pertwee, Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy (especially towards the end) are all great, I tend to feel that the inclusion of so many former Doctors (although I love Sylv's "Trust me, I'm a Doctor") perhaps undermines Caroline John in what's supposed to be a starring role. Still, that isn't the script's fault, and the overall impression is of a compelling thriller that, very wisely, leads with mood and character as opposed to anything too expensive-looking....

The Tractate Middoth

 "The other day I was forced to open a hotel door of my own volition!"

Don't worry; this is just a one-off diversion from Life on Mars and The Crown, but Christmas is coming; it would be remiss of me not to watch and blog this splendid adaptation by Mark Gatiss, who also directs, of one of M.R. James' most well-known stories.

And the whole thing is simply a triumph. The direction is magnificent, evoking horror with suspense, and the appearance of the ghost (That skull! Those spiders!) is as impressive as the way it's carefully shot. The cast is similarly magnificent, with a young Sacha Dhawan deeply effective as a leading man, and a strong cast of British character actors from Louise Jamson to Roy Barraclough to Burbage's very own Una Stubbs as a wonderfu comic grotesque. John Castle is, as ever, a splendidly hissible villain. And there's much actor-spotting fun as the Master chats to his mate, a pipe-smoking Nathan Barley.

What holds it all together, of course, is the story, puzzlingly not adapted since 1966. But this adaptation was made with a real love of the source material, and it shows.

The Madness of King George III (National Theatre, 2018)

"May I congratulate Your Majesty on another splendid stool?"

Circumstances, not necessarily good ones, make it possible for me to watch and blog this triumphant production from the National Theatre and the Nottingham Playhouse- both of which will need support in the coming months, as theatres traditionally do in times of plague.

Alan Bennett's wonderful 1991 play (look in the films index for my blog of the excellent 1994 film starring the late, lamented Nigel Hawthorne) is, perhaps, dated by the depiction of blue urine and the then-fashionable diagnosis of porphyria. But who cares. Literary art needs not a diagnosis. It deals in human nature. And Mark Gatiss- not, perhaps, a traditionally classical actor, gives us a performance which may well surpass that of the sainted Sir Humphrey.

The play is, of course, a masterpiece. We first see the king as he is- erudite, sexually repressed, an extrovert forced inwards by a role which forbids introspection. He is a force of personality when sane, as the early scenes effortlessly depict. The reason for his lapse of reason may not be porphyria- Gatiss has suggested a nervous breakdown- but it matters not. What matters is the star, and Gatiss more than delivers. The script sings of human nature, of the 1780s, of the British constitution, of the human psyche. Of all the kings of England, Charles II is the one you'd want a pint with, but you’d want George III on the psychiatrist’s chair. He may have weathered the crisis of 1788. but his end would not be a happy one. The gilded cage, inevitably, has its casualties.

It is, perhaps, questionable that the quacks should all be played by women, but one of them is the wonderful Louise Jameson. But the production gets no further criticism, from me. Again, we see an erudite and human script triumphant. And Gatiss is a revelation. Please... see this production before Thursday.

Doctor Who: The Invasion of Time

Part One

“I claim the presidency of the council of Time Lords.”

So, a new writer, the mysterious David Agnew. Wonder if he’ll turn out to be any good? Rumour has it that he had something of a split personality…

Once again this season we start with the now-familiar sight of spaceships floating in, er, space. It’s finally occurred to me that Star Wars ( That’s the full title of the film, incidentally. Let’s have none of this A New Hope rubbish.) was released in the UK in December 1977, shortly before this was broadcast if probably not before it was made. An influence to keep track of in future, even if this scene probably isn’t influenced by Imperial Star Destroyers.

Anyway, it’s a fascinating episode which departs entirely from the programme’s standard format and does fascinating things with the Doctor’s character. We first see him, alone, having left Leela locked in the TARDIS with K9, apparently making a deal with some baddies and their pointy-backed chairs to give them complete control over the Time Lords! Has he turned bad? This is a brilliant concept, and superbly done. What they’re trying to do requires great care- the viewer needs to at least partly believe that the Doctor has gone bad, but the character mustn’t be undermined. As we’ll see, The Invasion of Time achieves this balance superbly.

Oh, and we see Leela having a “bath” in a big swimming pool in the TARDIS. There are no roundels, there are loads of lilos and stuff, and the set doesn’t look at all as though it could convincingly be part of the TARDIS. See Part Six for more on this theme…

After this preamble the TARDIS lands on Gallifrey, which sadly looks a lot cheaper than it once did, the UK economy having jumped off the edge of a cliff since The Deadly Assassin was made. Even the old Panopticon doesn’t look the same with such bright lighting- in fact, I admit I didn’t even recognise it until one of the DVD extras pointed it out. But, of course, the prologue means this TARDIS landing has a very different context than usual- the Doctor’s very status as a hero is on probation. What’s he up to? As soon as he leaves the TARDIS and is accosted by chancellery guards, he rudely dismisses Leela. What’s going on?

I have something of a problem with Andred simply allowing the Doctor, who is as far as he’s concerned an unauthorised visitor and very possibly extremely dangerous, to just walk into Chancellor Borusa’s office. Still, it’s a solitary lapse, and what happens next is very cool indeed as the Doctor claims the presidency, for which of course he was the sole surviving candidate at the recent election. Although this indicates not much time has passed, so how come (aside from the actor not being available!) Borusa has regenerated? He didn’t seem that old or frail last time.

We have a new Castellan, but Kelner is no Spandrell. Right from the off it’s clear he’s going top be quite the oily git, played with magnificent Uriah Heap-osity by Milton Johns. Oh, and another change here is that Leela is apparently allowed on the planet but Sarah wasn’t. How come? I suppose it could be argued that the Doctor is president after all, but some mention would have been nice.

More stuff from The Deadly Assassin appears- the Sash of Rassilon, the Rod of Rassilon, Gold Usher, the Matrix. Oddly, we get a fairly long techy conversation between two Time Lords which doesn’t seem to relate to anything!

Part Two

“This is rather more than a student prank, isn’t it?”

The Doctor seemingly betrays Leela again, trying to ban her from the Citadel, and continues to behave very oddly. And it’s fun to see the contrasting reactions of Kelner- rushing to ingratiate himself with this new potential source of patronage- and Borusa, whose concerns about the Doctor’s behaviour are balanced by a suspicion that all is not what it seems. John Arnatt is excellent here, restricting himself to subtle facial impressions and a calm tone of voice, but portraying Borusa’s concerns most effectively.

I’m enjoying this. So much, in fact, that I even enjoyed Tom’s wrecking ball to the fourth wall with his “Even the Sonic Screwdriver won’t get me out of this one!” It’s in one way reassuring and in another way disappointing that the Doctor’s conversation with K9 in the TARDIS pretty much gives away that his erratic behaviour and apparent treachery is just an act and he has his reasons.

Interestingly, Rodan (played by the rather lovely Hilary Ryan) is the first Time Lady we’ve ever met. Are there hardly any females for some bizarre sci-fi reason, or do Time Lords insist that a woman’s place is directing traffic? Either way, Rodan and Leela are getting on well, which is fortunate as they’re soon to be thrust into crisis- the Doctor has let down the transduction barriers, apparently selling out his own people to some nasty bits of tin foil, and lets out a villainous laugh too…

Part Three

“The Castellan will have me shot.”

“Well, that’s all right. I’ll have him shot.”

For once, it’s the Doctor who gets to say that “resistance is useless”! And these baddies, the Vardans, apparently want the great Key, which the Doctor pledged to seek in his presidential oath.

Meanwhile, Leela and Rodan are escaping the new regime to go out into the wilderness. Leela’s great here, decisive and intelligent. She may say that “Discussion is for the wise or the helpless and I am neither”, but the only thing she isn’t is helpless.

In a pivotal scene, the Doctor finally reveals to Borusa what he’s really up to in his lead lined room where the Vardans can’t read his thoughts. Naturally, we aren’t privy to what’s said as that would spoil all the fun.

Meanwhile, Kelner shows himself to be a right little Quisling, taking advantage of the new regime’s apparent purge to “settle old scores.” Our first exiles, albeit willing, are Leela and Rodan, and Rodan’s inability to deal with life “outside” speaks volumes about Gallifreyan society, as well as the fact that they see people living only just outside the Citadel as “barbarians”. Leela, on the other hand, quickly gains the respect of the Outlers. It’s soon clear that exiling his enemies is not the end of Kelner’s ambitions, though: an underling is dispatched to guard the new Doctor “for the time being” because “If anything does happen, I will have to take over as president , and I have no wish to expose myself to the dangers of that position.” Such a slimy little toad…

Part Four

“But you have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe.”

“Well, I do talk to myself sometimes, yes.”

The Vardans now turn out to suspect the Doctor- this is really quite an engagingly complex story, with all sorts of competing agendas ready to backstab each other. At last it seems the Graham Williams era has found its feet, using witty dialogue and careful plotting to carve out a way of producing good telly completely different to the previous regime.

Admittedly the production is very Spartan- in fact, not really acceptable at all, and things are going to get worse- but the scripts and performances more than compensate. Gallifey is often said to be an intrinsically dull place these days- not here it isn’t, it’s a labyrinth of plots, counter plots and intrigue. Brilliant. And even the production’s shortcomings are partly patched up by self-referential dialogue- the Vardans may look crap, but that’s ok as the dialogue points that out for us!

The episode’s ending is simply excellent- all the threads are drawn together, all the characters are brought to the Panopticon and the full details of the Doctor’s plan are reveals as he defeats the baddies and saves the planet.

And then the bloody Sontarans turn up. Excellent!

Part Five

“You are the first President since Rassilon to hold the Great Key.”

Re the quote- I thought we were told in The Deadly Assassin that Rassilon was never president? Anyway…

I love the way Kelner, rather than face the inevitable punishment for his treason, quickly sides with the Sontarans, oleaginous little sod that he is. And these Sontarans are a lot sillier than the ones we’ve seen before. And of course, there’s more than one of them for a change. Derek Deadman’s performance is- interesting.

There’s a fascinating game of cat and mouse as the Doctor gets Borusa to admit he holds the Great Key. I like Borusa- loyal to the old ways but with an open mind, and of course absolutely full of integrity. Yes, he’ll definitely never become a baddie. And as he knows where the Great Key is, presumably he can never become president. Come to think of it, I remember an article in issue #100 of Doctor Who Magazine back in the mid eighties, by Gary Russell, I think, on Time Lord history which touched on that very subject. I’ll have to dig it out. Rather tongue-in-cheek, I recall…

Oh, and there’s a great moment where the Doctor shows extraordinary trust in Leela in trusting her with the Great Key.

Part Six

“This machine is a load of obsolete rubbish.”

It’s such a shame that the setting of this episode is so execrable, as the script and performances continue to be first-rate. But using this location as the TARDIS interior simply won’t do. There are bricks everywhere, it’s all on film, and it takes you straight out of the drama. Little wonder all these rooms in the TARDIS were never spoken of again. Although I must admit I love the scene with Borusa drinking from a glass with a curly straw while reading about the sinking of the titanic from a contemporary edition of The Daily Mirror. Only on Doctor Who…

There’s lots of cool stuff here, however poorly realised it may be- the Venus fly trap thingy in the TARDIS “bathroom” and the TARDIS’ “ancillary power station” being disguised as an art gallery, which only makes sense if you include a deleted scene but never mind.

There’s a nice ending- the great Key is used to make the “Demat Gun” which is highly appropriate because one thing this marathon has taught me is that the Doctor uses guns all the time! Meanwhile, Stor is claiming that “This grenade will give me a lot of pleasure!” What a bizarre fetish…

Of course, inevitably, the Doctor forgets about the Great Key, all part of Rassilon’s plan. And a flawless plan it is too- I’m sure the fact that Borusa knows all about the Demat Gun will have no adverse consequences whatsoever.

Unfortunately the ending is marred by a completely rubbish companion departure. Leela deserved much better than that. Amusingly, Louise Jameson and the bloke who plays Andred say in a DVD extra that they tried to suggest they fancied each other by body language- not that I noticed they didn’t!

Overall, utterly magnificent- great plot, great dialogue, great performances. Unfortunately, and however understandable it may have been in those difficult budgetary times, the production was often far below acceptable, so much so that I really have to knock a point off. 4/5.

As for the season as a whole- well, it had its high points- Image of the Fendahl, The Sun Makers, The Invasion of Time- and its pretty good point- Horror of Fang Rock. But ultimately the two utter stinkers from the Bristol Boys and the production failings in some otherwise brilliant stories mean this season scores 3.17/5, putting it at the bottom of the pile. Still there are signs of a promising new direction, and the faults can be mainly laid at the door of budgetary disasters and the Bristol Boys. The future should be better- we’ll see…

Doctor Who: Underworld

Part One

“The quest is the quest.”

After The Invisible Enemy I can’t say I’m particularly enthused to see another script by the Bristol Boys so soon. And the reputation this story has makes me worry it might be something of an ideal. Still, the Marathon goes on, and this is one of only two stories I’ve never seen. The quest is the quest. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

We begin in the TARDIS, where the Doctor is dressed rather oddly and seems to have splashed out on a big widescreen scanner.

The TARDIS has arrived at the edge of the universe, where we see a new spiral nebula forming. And we see some guest characters in a spaceship, it’s a relief to see that, unlike with other recent space operas, the sets and costumes are at least competently designed. Unfortunately, Jackson and his underlings may be competently acted but they’re also extremely dull.

A few minutes in things threaten to become interesting, though. These people are from Minyos, a planet destroyed 100,000 years ago, and they describe the overheard TARDIS dematerialisation sound as sounding like “the time ships of the gods”. It seems the Time lords meddled in their affairs with dire results, and this is the reason for their policy of non-intervention. Oh, and the Minyans can regenerate seemingly without limit (thousands of times, at least) and get to keep their original bodies. Why can’t the Time Lords do this then?

This is all very Ulysses 31 (“The gods use us for their sport”). Oh, and there’s a ship, on a quest, led by a bloke called Jackson. I’m sure there’s a Greek myth that reminds me of- Ah! They’re really old and tired of life but have to keep on living until they fulfill their quest. That’ll be the myth of Sisyphus then.

Annoyingly, though, just as they did last time, Baker and Martin are writing Leela as stupid and a target for other characters’ mockery. I really don’t like this.

Part Two

“Whatever blows can be sucked(!).”

The Doctor, Leela and the Argonauts are about to crash into a planet- and at no point is it mentioned that stepping into the TARDIS might be a good idea, what with the whole avoiding certain death thing. Oddly enough though, the blatantly CSO’d caverns bother me mainly because of how dull they look- they may look very unconvincing in out-of-context clips but in fact I got used to them very quickly.

Unfortunately this is all very dull- some dull baddies and some dull slaves. Yawn. I love the way Jackson’s lot decide to split the party. Reminds me of some D&D sessions.

Part Three

“It’s not my plan exactly but it has worked before.”

Oh dear. After a very long reprise things continue to be very dull. There’s one fun Bristol Boys idea (no gravity at the centre of the planet), and a pleasingly bizarre means of execution worthy of Heath Robinson himself, although the fire seems to be taking an awfully long time to burn through the rope. Otherwise, there’s little to comment on.

Part Four

“You’re just another machine with megalomania.”

Sadly, things fail to get any better at the end. The drama stops dead and the story treads water for ages before we realise the cylinders have been switched, and even the script admits that the “Oracle” is just a less interesting version of Xoanon of off of of Face of Evil. And you can’t understand a thing it says.

At long last- a story that was even worse than The Underwater Menace. Rock bottom- surely everything to come is bound to be better than this? 1/5.

Doctor Who: The Sun Makers

Part One

“Probably too many economists in the government…”

Right from the start it’s very clear indeed that we can’t expect anything at all from the sets and costumes, which are quite as awful as they were in The Invisible Enemy. Fortunately, it’s also clear from the start that the scripts and performances are going to be first class. And we get bombarded with some great concepts- dull modernist tower block this may be, but it’s on a mysteriously oxygenated and moderately temperatured Pluto where wood is a distant fable.

It’s also a world where people are drones working for a mysterious company, worked and taxed until their pips squeak and finally put to death on an appointed “deathday”- perhaps the most fully evoked dystopia yet seen in Doctor Who. Cordo and Gatherer Hade are both well written and well acted characters, perfectly shaped to be interesting whilst given us a load of necessary exposition at the start.

Cordo’s recently euthanized father worked hard as a sweeper of walkways for forty years, but he and his son between them can only just afford a painless death for him (Cordo wasn’t present at the death- no doubt he couldn’t afford that), and now Hade reveals that taxes have recently risen to a level Cordo cannot afford, and it is of course the citizen’s responsibility to be familiar with the tax rates. Cordo, already working double shifts, will now have to work during his remaining three hours’ sleep time to work towards his debt, which with compound interest at 50% he will never repay. This is very dark stuff, and that’s precisely why the humour is so important to sweeten the pill.

With K9 poised to beat the Doctor at chess, the TARDISeers materialise on Pluto, once said to be the outermost body in the Solar system until “Cassius” was discovered. This has all become very dated over the last few years!

K9 stays in the TARDIS for now (“Pluto’s no place for a…”) while the Doctor and Leela immediately prevent Cordo from throwing himself off the building, receiving some exposition in return.

Richard Leech is brilliant as the collector, the style of his performance being perfect for the character. Some of his lines would be just too dark if delivered too seriously- the line about how surviving for three years in the “correction centre” is almost unheard of makes it clear just how horrifyingly totalitarian this regime is.

Interestingly for a story where tax collectors are the bad guys (“Perhaps everyone runs from the taxman”) this doesn’t necessarily come across as a right wing satire- in fact it’s rather typical of Holmes in that, although deeply political, it doesn’t tell us a lot about what his politics were, although at least we’re left in no doubt that he’s no authoritarian. Besides, tax rates in the UK in 1977 were really rather high…

More good stuff- six suns, “the Inner Retinue”, a load of rebels includingVila- an excellent start.

Part Two

“I have the honour to remain, sir, your obedient servant. Etc. Etc.”

I love the friendliness of the Doctor’s cellmate, whose crime was curiosity, casually chatting about the horrors in store for the Doctor and himself- the sort of scene that only Holmes could write. PCM is another 1984-esque idea- an ingredient in the air to spread anxiety and keep the population docile. In fact, for all the surface focus on tax and economics- and there’ll be a lot more of that kind of thing- this is really Doctor Who Does 1984, more concerned with the nature of extreme tyranny than taxation per se. Cordo is quite clearly a Winston Smith figure and the Company is very Big Brother- there are loads of cameras everywhere for a start.

There’s a great scene between the Doctor and Gatherer Hyde, a P45 corridor (!) and we get to see Henry Woolf’s splendidly slimy Collector. Another great episode.

Part Three

“His Excellency has invoiced your execution.”

Another quietly shocking moment, as the Collector notes with incredulity that the captured Leela hasn’t been “numbered” as all “work units” are at birth. But this is where things turn around- I love the scene where the Doctor quickly manoeuvres himself from imminent torture victim to leader of a revolution, and it’s wonderful to see the glee with which everyone responds once persuaded that resistance is not useless after all. For the first time the company is questioned- what’s it for? Who gets all the profit?

I love the collector’s summary of the Doctor, from the company files, as having “a long history of violence and economic subversion.” But it’s not all wit and satire- there’s a real feeling of danger this episode as Leela faces execution by steaming, and this cliffhanger is one of the very best.

Part Four

“The work units are absolutely forbidden to see the light of the sun- it’s far too good for them!”

This whole episode is a joy, aside from a moment of disquiet towards the end. The Collector’s increasingly severe threats to the populace (“Grinding oppression of the masses is the only policy that pays dividends!”), the rebels’ increasing confidence and giddy happiness as they experience life without TCM, Marn joining the revolution to save her skin- very realistic, that!- the Gatherer being thrown off the building. This is Holmes’s swansong as a perm anent fixture of the series, and he really goes out on a high. A magnificent script. And, naturally, the Doctor buggers off immediately as soon as the fun bit finishes!

There’s one disquieting bit, though- I suspect nothing was meant by it, but it probably would have been a good idea not to make the villain a “Usurian”- ie a moneylender- of a different ethnic group to everyone else, as that could be interpreted in unfortunate ways!

Aside from that last point, a brilliant script, and fantastic performances all round. I very nearly gave it a 5/5 but the sets are so appalling I’m going to have to take away a point. 4/5, but a very high one.

Doctor Who: Image of the Fendahl

Part One

“You must have been sent by Providence.”

“No, I were sent by the council to cut the verges.”

After the car crash that was The Invisible Enemy it’s a huge relief to see Chris Boucher’s name popping up, and once again he doesn’t disappoint. We start with a mysterious skull, but in spite of the obvious parallels with Quatermass and the Pit there’s a lot more going ion here than just a rehash. And fittingly for a Chris Boucher story Scott Fredericks appears, again reminding me of the excellent Kaldor City audios. K9 only gets fleeting appearances at the start and end of the story, but he’s have jarred with the story’s tone in any case.

It’s immediately noticeable how much better written the Doctor and Leela are compared to the previous story, which should come as no surprise from Leela’s creator. And the story, atmosphere and guest characters are all brilliant from the start. It’s a clever touch that Thea and Adam, the sympathetic characters amongst Fendelman’s group, are implicated by being persuaded not to tell the police about the corpse found by Adam. And I just love the Doctor’s “Good morning, ladies!” to a herd of cows. We also get a self-referential moment that’s much wittier than usual: “You’ve both escaped from somewhere, haven’t you?” “Frequently.”

Part Two

“Alas, poor skull.”

We get to see a glimpse of the Fendahleen here, and we’re given the beginnings of a backstory- it seems the fifth planet of the solar system broke up about twelve million years ago, the same age as the skull. And Thea is mysteriously claiming to have planned the whole thing. This is all excellent stuff, with a mystery developing nicely and a threat which may be a little nebulous but somehow feels defined in the way it didn’t in Horror of Fang Rock.

It’s noticeable the Doctor isn’t around much in this episode, mind.

Part Three

“Dr Fendelman, I think you have an industrial relations problem.”

Leela saves the Doctor’s life, and we get a moment that could be sexual tension between them if not for the fact that there hasn’t been any other sign of any such thing. We get another excellent episode, with even the use of sci-fi concepts to explain second sight being just about passable. Stael’s agenda becomes clear, and Scott Fredericks really is excellent here. Arguably the Quatermass and the Pit connection starts to get a bit much here, what with Mrs Tyler’s “race memory” and all, but it’s all so good I don’t really mind.

We get drip fed some more backstory; apparently the fifth planet was erased from existence, War Lord-like, by the Time Lords. And the situation is nicely summed up by Fendelman just before Stael shoots him: “I have been used! You are being used! MANKIND HAS BEEN USED!”

Part Four

“…Or, on the other hand, it could all be just a coincidence.”

A simply staggering conclusion to a simply magnificent story, with elements from folklore turning out to be essential to the plot- the use of salt here is clever, and in many ways shows how this story in some ways parallels The Dæmons, only done much better.

Oh, and the Doctor fires a gun. Again. He’s always doing that!

I love the Doctor’s explanation to Adam, which at the same time explains what’s going on but remains just ambiguous enough for the Fendahl to retain its mystery. Apparently it destroyed Mars on the way, but it’s not as though Doctor Who has ever featured any Martians!

Utterly superb. An easy 5/5, and a new entry to my top five. After a wobbly start the Graham Williams era suddenly pulls an all time great story out of the bag.

Doctor Who: The Invisible Enemy

Part One

“Contact has been made.”

We start the story in deep space, for the first time in ages. Unfortunately we then get a crap spaceship set which sets the tone for the rest of the story- I’ve always been annoyed by bland, featureless corridor sets being used to represent the future in space opera type stories and The Invisible Enemy is one of the worst offenders. Every set and every costume is bland and featureless, which casts a kind of dullness over what should be a fun and silly story. Only three stories after The Robots of Death showed us how it should be done, this shows us how it shouldn’t.

At least the TARDIS looks good. It’s a shame to lose the wooden control room, but at least the redesigned traditional control room looks good, even if the Doctor does dismiss it as though he was talking about any one of the other sets in the story! We’re in 5000 AD or thereabouts, the time of Magnus Greel and Time Agents, and also apparently the time of the “Great Break Out”. Presumably this refers to much more widespread colonisation than happened during the Earth Empire days two thousand years earlier. And as this is still said to be Leela’s past, perhaps her ancestors were involved.

It’s good to see Michael Sheard again, even if his horribly designed office oozes an awful lot of the unacceptable side of 70s-ness in spite of it being 5000 AD. And the virus is an interesting threat, giving us a good cliffhanger with the infected doctor about to kill Leela…

Part Two

“Blithering idiots, the pair of you.”

Cra;p though the design is, I like the attempt to suggest spelling has changed, with such uses as “isolayshun ward”.

The Doctor’s out of action for a bit, which means we have Leela flying the TARDIS (!) to some hospital asteroid, where the Bristol Boys get a chance to reuse their line from The Hand of Fear about Gallifrey being somewhere in Ireland. We’re also introduced to the very silly yet somehow fab Professor Marius, with his silly accent and his robot dog, K9. Yay! “That tin thing is my best friend and constant companion”, he informs us.

The Prof has to operate on the doctor whilst being assailed from all sides by the ranks of the infected. At the Doctor’s suggestion he, er, clones the Doctor and Leela, shrinks them, and injects them into the Doctor’s body. This is simultaneously awful and brilliant. Oh, an apparently cloning started in 3922. not in, say, 1997, with Dolly the Sheep or anything.

Oh, and why can’t they just cure the Doctor by transmat, as Harry did with Sarah during Revenge of the Cybermen?

Part Three

“I don’t know what to think. I’ve never been in anybody’s head before.”

This episode marks a turning point in the marathon for me personally- halfway through I finally finish my first notebook!

This entire episode is unintentionally hilarious, and the sets of the inside of the Doctor’s brain are much more fun than the sets we’ve seen elsewhere. I love the way the Clone Doctor keeps pointing bits out to Clone Leela. Apparently the Doctor was once able, Matrix-like, to tune himself into the “Time Lord intelligentsia”, but lost this ability when he was “kicked out”. I like the Doctor’s line about the mind and the brain being analogous to the land and the sea, utter rubbish though it may be.

Plenty of hilariousness abounds, from the Doctor’s beach ball-like antibodies to the ridiculous Slowness of Marius’s countdown. But pretty soon both K9(!) and the Professor are infected…

The Nucleus actually gives a pretty good justification of its actions to the Doctor- like any creature it has every right to survive. But of course, that goes both ways. In another context, this could have been a fairly serious discussion.

The ending is most odd, with the sting seeming to briefly start and then stop a minute before the end. Are the last two scenes in the right order?

Part Four

“I only hope he’s TARDIS trained!”

Hmmm, so the nucleus and all its viruses can survive at human size? Er, yes. And it seems the TARDIS is still bigger on the inside with the dimensional stabiliser gone. But this is not the story to be asking such questions- best just to let the silliness wash over you. Amusingly, for the first time here we see the camera panning upwards from the step at the TARDIS entrance as K9 rolls inside. The first of many…

We get the first appearance of another Graham Williams era trope here too, as the Doctor enters the TARDIS and dematerialises with his scarf still caught in the Door. Never mind the fact we then cut to him at the controls with his scarf clearly far from the entrance!

Oh dear. From Talons to this in two stories! For all its faults it certainly wasn’t dull, and has a certain so-bad-it’s-good capacity to amuse, but this is the worst story since The Time Monster- silly and badly designed, with the Doctor often bordering on being out of character. 2/5.

Doctor Who: Horror of Fang Rock

Part One

“I’m not a Teshnician!”

An odd setting, this, In theory the lighthouse and surrounding rocks being all we see should make things claustrophobic and scary, especially as everything seems quite dimly lit. But I just had the impression of limited space and it being more obvious than usual that the story was studio bound.

In theory everything should work- we have a small guest cast in Reuben, Vince and Ben, three nicely differentiated characters. We have a mysterious thing that’s landed from the skies and which kills Ben, and we have some good Leela moments, especially the unselfconscious way she undresses in front of Vince. But in spite of everything from the script to the sets to the performances being perfectly good (Tom’s on particularly good, moody form- that’ll be Paddy Russell then!), the threat seems undefined somehow, making it difficult to engage with the story.

Part Two

“Gentlemen, I’ve got news for you. This lighthouse is under attack and by morning we might all be dead.”

A ship founders on the rocks and three new characters are injected into the story- Lord Palmerdale and Skinsale both provide intrigue as to what secrets each holds, while Adelaide Lessing is basically there as a comic contrast for Leela. Lord Palmerdale is desperate to get to London as money is at stake and it was his haste that caused the ship to founder, with lives being lost- we know at this point that he has zero chance of survival! The blackmail subtext between him and Skinsale provides us with something to happen this episode, as the threat from the alien is more talked about than seen at this stage.

It’s this episode that makes it clear that this is going to be a base under siege, but at least the character dynamic is different from the usual template. Again, though, although nothing seems exactly wrong there’s little definition to the threat.

Part Three

“That is what I thought. But of course, I am only a savage.”

The alien can’t become a direct threat until the very end of the episode because of how the story is structured, give or take the odd individual killing. But Terrance Dicks deals with this well by concluding the feud subplot between Palmerdale and Skinsale (“Some men make me nervous when I’m with them- Salibury, Bonar Law… but your employer has the opposite effect. It’s when he’s out of my sight.”) until Palmerdale is inevitably killed. There’s also a heartstopping moment as Vince is found morally wanting by taking Palmerdale’s bribe, thereby ensuring, by the logic of Doctor Who storytelling, that he can’t possibly survive.

There’s good Leela stuff here- I love the bit where she slaps Adelaide, surely one of the top Leela moments ever. But there’s also a good bit where she dismisses Adelaide’s astrological superstitions- “I, too, used to believe in magic. But the Doctor has taught me about science. It is better to believe in science.”

Part Four

“I don’t like your face either.”

Another good Leela bit at the start as she rolls her eyes at Adelaide fainting. And now that we’re at the final episode we can learn the nature of the threat- it’s a Rutan, a bright green spherical blob from the icy planet of Ruta 3, whose people once controlled “a whole arm of Mutter’s Spiral” (the Milky Way?) but are now losing their interminable war with the Sontarans.

Leela’s shown to be bright here, a quick learner who knows what a laser is, and I’m glad to see this- she may be a “savage” but she was presented as intelligent in Face of Evil and that needs to continue.

I notice the face of the dead Palmerdale is not visible, making it rather obvious that the actor hasn’t been contracted for this episode! Otherwise, though, it’s a good ending which arises logically, leaving everyone dead apart from Leela and the Doctor.

Oh, and Leela’s eyes change colour as she looks back at a bright light. I’m sure that’s exactly what would happen…

Difficult to rate, this. It was well made, cleverly plotted, with well-written characters, good performances and witty dialogue. And yet I never really felt much sense of threat somehow, and I can’t work out whether it’s the script or the direction that’s to blame. 3/5.

Doctor Who: The Talons of Weng-Chiang

Part One

“You’ve been drinking.”

“Not a drop, sir.”

“Then it’s time you started.”

An unusual way of starting a story, straight into the backstage area of a Victorian theatre, but effective, and a brilliant setting from the outset. The constant stream, of great Robert Holmes starts as soon as Henry Gordon Jago starts talking (“I’d have propelled him on to the pavement with a punt up the posterior”), not to let up for six whole episodes. We’re also presented with mysterious and disturbing goings-on from the start, with a missing woman and a ventriloquist’s dummy able to move on its own.

The Doctor and Leela arrive, both in Victorian clothing and the Doctor in a deerstalker. The Doctor wants to show Leela how her “ancestors” enjoyed themselves (she’s human, then) but they’re caught up in trouble very quickly and asked to return to the police station. The Doctor’s gradual shift from suspect to taking charge is expertly and amusingly done.

Aside from the clothes and the general surroundings, a reference to “Jolly Jack” implies that the Whitechapel murders must be fairly recent, giving us a rough idea of when we are. Some of the characters are heard to express a few less than enlightened attitudes to Chinese people, however. To an extent this can be said to simply reflect the time depicted and there’s certainly no indication of any overtly racist intent in the script- Chang’s line “I understand we all look the same” actually undercuts the policeman’s attitudes quite nicely, even if said to the Doctor. But some of the story’s dialogue as presented would probably make the story unbroadcastable today, which is unfortunate but understandable- next episode Litefoot will refer to an “inscrutable chink”. A shame, as a simple ironic comment from the Doctor upon hearing some of these comments, something analogous to the line “It’s political correctness gone mad” from The Shakespeare Code, would probably have done the trick. But let’s not get started on John Bennett’s face make-up!

Oh dear, it’s a giant rat. Moving swiftly on…

Part Two

“A hat box?”

We get some answers here- Chang has a boss with a hidden face, who lives in an underground lair which, this being the Hinchcliffe era, is full of bottles containing bubbling, brightly coloured liquids. He speaks of “Time Agents”. Hmm. No doubt a one-off throwaway line. I’m sure we’ll hear no more of this.

There’s a lot of fun in this episode- I love the Doctor’s magic tricks and Jago’s exasperation, and Litefoot’s reaction to Leela’s eating habits are a joy. It’s only the second episode and already it’s clear that both Litefoot and Jago are more than ordinary supporting characters, both being exceptionally well written and played.

Part Three

“Explode? Unthinkable! It was made in Birmingham.”

Only Robert Holmes could satisfactorily resolve a proper get-out-of-that cliffhanger by having Leela distract the Doctor by jumping out of a window, for entirely valid reasons. This story is great! The Doctor’s fab in this episode, from “Sleep is for tortoises” to the map on Litefoot’s tablecloth to the quoted line. Apparently the Doctor once fished in the Fleet with the Venerable Bede, who’d come down south for some reason.

But there’s lots more good stuff- I particularly enjoy Jago’s “explaining” what’s happening to Casey. Plus Leela continues to be great, sneaking into Weng-Chiang’s lair and escaping again. Only the giant rat is in any way disappointing, and that we shall not speak of.

Part Four

“He’s gone to join his ancestors.”

We start with more amusing dialogue between Jago and Casey, and the episode centres around a performance by Chang in front of the watching Doctor. The moment where Chang points a gun at the Doctor only to shoot the cards is gripping stuff, but ironically Chang has been sacked by his master and has no agenda here but to entertain. So it’s shocking to him as well as Jago and the Doctor when Casey’s corpse is made to appear on stage- a turning point in the story.

It’s partly as though the initial four-parter is concluded, as we end with Weng-Chiang in possession of the time cabinet, waiting for the final two-parter to begin…

Part Five

“I may have had a bang on the head but this is a dashed queer story.”

We start to get some real explanations here: Mr Sin is in fact the “Peking Homonculus from the year 5000, where there is apparently an Ice Age. He has the cerebral cortex of a pig and almost started World War VI- some pleasingly random world-building there. And we get some ratcheting up of the villainy from Weng-Chiang, with the traditional scene of an underling being forced to commit suicide for the crime of failure.

I love the way Litefoot describes the area the Doctor and Leela as being full of “scenes of vice and squalor”, but, this being a tea-time show, we see nothing but the underside of a trap door! Meanwhile, Jago and Litefoot finally meet, and about time too. Jago’s dismissal of the police is classic Holmes: “we all know they’re solid, sterling fellows, but their buttons are the brightest thing about them”- shades of authorial voice from our ex-copper scribe here?

I love Leela’s attitude, deciding with real anger in her voice, to set up an ambush for Weng-Chiang. Louise Jameson is great.

Part Six

“Let the talons of Weng-Chiang rend your flesh!”

A superb finale. It’s pretty much all go from the off, but we also get room for a nice character moment as Jago confesses his cowardice to Litefoot- it’s nice that he gets a chance to be brave later on, distracting Greel while Leela reaches for the gun. There’s also more backstory- the Filipino army, a final advance on Reykjavik, Greel as the “butcher of Brisbane”. We also get a hint of just how nasty a dictator he was: “At my camps, the extraction process was considered the most painful of all.”

But of course he is defeated, and we finish with one of the best final scenes ever, from Litefoot’s attempts at Eliza Doolittling Leela to the contrasting reactions of Jago and Litefoot to the dematerialising TARDIS.

A magnificent story, not quite as good as its reputation but easily a high 5/5.

Doctor Who: The Robots of Death

Part One

“Shoomph!”

Just to go blatantly OT from the very start, this viewing is particularly fascinating to me as it’s the first time I’ve seen the story since hearing the unbelievably magnificent Kaldor City audios, set in the same society and with Uvanov such a promising figure. But back to the story…

Everything looks fantastic, with the set design, costumes and robot designs possibly giving this story the best aesthetic ever seen in Doctor Who. There’s a real sense that in this society, with robots to do all the drudgery, people tend to behave in ways that evoke the aristocracy of pre-revolutionary France. Everyone wears male-up and fancy clothes designed entirely for display and with practicalities not an issue, revealing a lot about their lifestyle. There’s also some impressive world-building with the dialogue- the company, the founding families and the like.

Leela also gets a nice introduction to the dimensions of the TARDIS. Sadly, I think I’m right in saying that’s the last time we’ll be seeing this version of the control room, after it’s appeared in only three stories.

Part Two

“We’ve all got something to hide. Don’t you think so, Commander?”

The whodunit plot gathers steam, and a very good whodunit plot it is too, with plenty of genuine suspects. In fact, it makes me wish I hadn’t seen this story so many times so I could enjoy it again. The characters are well drawn too- perhaps I’m back-projecting from the Kaldor City audios, but I love Uvanov’s dialogue- “You have cost me and the company a great deal of money and you have killed three people.” Nice to see what his priorities are!

There’s some nice direction, too- I’m particularly noticing all these shots of the robots’ feet.

Part Three

“I heard a cry.”

More plot unfolds, with details of Uvanov’s history, our first mention of Taren Capel and the revelation of the fantastic D84 as a company agent. I love his turn of phrase, especially when offering the Doctor a communicator- “Would you like to use it? I cannot speak.”

Leela gets a great line, too, as her knife gets stuck in an advancing robot; “Now you’re showing off!” Only her second story, and she’s magnificent, taking all these new experiences in her stride while still being true to her origins. It’s a huge bonus to have her second story written by Chris Boucher as well as her first.

Part Four

“Please do not throw hands at me.”

Robophobia, caused by the disturbing lack of body language in the otherwise humanoid robots, is a fantastic sci-fi concept, which goes to show that, for all the obvious Agatha Christie trappings of this story, Chris Boucher has shown himself in both his stories so far to be heavily grounded in literary science fiction- here there are obvious echoes of Isaac Asimov and Frank Herbert, and there’s even a character called Poul. 

As silly as Taren Capel may seem all made up to look like a robot, and however much we may snigger at the line “I’ll release more of our brothers from bondage- we’ll be irresistible!”, ultimately he’s a tragic and deluded figure. The feelings of brotherhood are all one way- in reality, to the robots he’s just another “master”. The story’s conclusion is clever, but also the cruellest possible fate for Taren Capel.

One of the greatest stories ever, entering my top ten at number four. 5/5.

Doctor Who: The Face of Evil

Part One

“Now drop your weapons or I’ll kill him with this deadly jelly baby.”

My BBC video starts with an edition of Multi-Coloured Swap Shop from 1977 with Noel Edmonds interviewing Louise Jameson. I don’t remember ordering Noel Edmonds from the cosmos, so fast forward to the story…

We start with Leela’s trial for blaspheming against Xoanon. Not our Xoanon, another one. Anyway, she’s to be exiled outside the barriers which protect this Neolithic-ish tribe, the Sevateem, from the nasty things outside for the crime of suggesting that a seemingly suicidal attack on their enemies the Tesh, ordered by their god Xoanon, is not such a great idea. She is offered the alternative of facing the Horda, whatever they are, but declines it, and it’s clear from her reaction that this is a fearful experience leading to almost certain death. Horribly, her father agrees to take it for her, and is duly killed. This is very dark, illustrating both the horrors of a society which punishes “blasphemers” and the horrible moral complications of resistance to such a society.

The TARDIS lands in an area where we’ve just seen a creature crawling along- a Horda, presumably, going by what we see later. That’s a nice touch. Unfortunately the Doctor, being alone, talks to himself, and indeed the camera, which is very awkward. He needs a new companion to talk to, and sharpish. And right on cue, here’s Leela.

Interestingly, Leela’s fellow Sevateems Calib and Tomas are also sceptical about the upcoming attack, if more cautious about voicing it. This scene does a lot of useful expositing, letting us know all about the planned attack on the Tesh, whereas a later recital by Neeva (my avatarsake!) gives us the mythological version, complete with clues. This is nicely counterpointed by Leela’s reactions to “The Evil One”. There’s also some good character stuff as Leela realises she can trust the Doctor.

The concept behind this story- an apparently stone age tribe on an alien planet using items of spacefaring technology as religious relics, is a brilliant one, and it’s introduced early. There are lots of fun little touches on this theme throughout this episode, such as the motions for checking a spacesuit having changed into a ritual for warding off evil. And of course there’s the panel saying “Survey team 6”- nice!

The Doctor and Leela make a great pairing, and whatever may have happened offscreen, they have great chemistry onscreen. But it’s notable that the Doctor suddenly becomes very stern as soon as Leela starts killing people with Janis thorns.

Part Two

“I like the hat. Very fetching.”

The concepts of the first episode get more development here, with the overall message of the story probably coming through most clearly as the doctor comments that Neeva was seemingly expecting an answer to his prayers. “There wouldn’t be much point in praying if he didn’t.” Only through the medium of the fantastic can such a blatantly atheist subtext excite seemingly no contemporary comment!

Calib gets to be cunning, and the Doctor gets to be very clever indeed, curing Leela from the Janis thorn, and successfully facing the trial of the Horda- I love the moment where he chucks a Horda at the bloke who slaps Leela!

The episode ends with some invisible creatures (well, it’s cheap!) which sound like the Skarasen and look like the Doctor when visible. And what’s that great big carving of the Doctor’s face…?

Part Three

“I don’t believe in ghosts either.”

Now we get to see the Tesh, and how their situation parallels that of the Sevateem. There isn’t the time to develop them as much as the Sevateem- no bad thing as they’re such arrogant arses- but it’s ironic how they think the Sevateem can open the barrier and Xoanon is playing both tribes against each other.

One thing that strikes me- as Xoanon has lifted the barriers and all of his nasties are now able to terrorise the Sevateem, presumably the whole tribe is heading down the Doctor’s throat. And Calib speaks of getting “the men” inside the barrier. Is Leela the only woman then?

Part Four

“We start getting proof and we stop believing.”

“With proof, we don’t have to believe.”

We get our first instance of Leela not suffering cowards gladly as she says to a cowering Tesh “Lying there isn’t going to help, then.” We’ll be seeing a lot more of this sort of thing.

The plot, excellent throughout, is nicely tied up. It’s good to see Neeva being the sacrificial hero in the end, ironically being the only one able to resist Xoanon’s brainwashing. Leela is elected leader, and then immediately scarpers… yes, she’s companion material, all right! Into the TARDIS she goes…

Magnificent, a criminally underrated story. 5/5.