Doctor Who: Time and the Rani

Part One
 

“Leave the girl. It’s the man I want.”

I think I recall being impressed with the opening scene of last season, with its proto-CGI opening. Well, this season starts with some proto-bad CGI. It’s all very confusing and poorly animated. And the regeneration, inevitably as Colin isn’t there, is embarrassingly awful. But it’s not just the unfortunate necessities forced upon the production team that lead to this story’s jaw-dropping awfulness- Pip n’ Jane’s dialogue is awful from the very first scene, and the whole thing’s obviously pitched at very young kids.

Admittedly the title sequence is great, but as soon as it’s over the nightmare continues. Sylvester McCoy was my Doctor, and it was when I started watching the show again with Remembrance of the Daleks back in 1988 that I stopped being an occasional viewer and started being a fan. So it’s a huge shock to see just how horrifyingly bad McCoy is in his first scene. This is extremely bad television, and I’m extremely glad I wasn’t watching the show at the time, as this episode could have put me off for ever.

The effects are great, though- the pink sky of Lakertya, and especially the bubbles- but when the Rani starts impersonating Mel things take a turn for the even worse.

Part Two

“Memory like a kangaroo…”

I’ll admit that was a great cliffhanger. This is still somewhat despair-inducing, though. Even the characterisation of the new Doctor seems to consist of little more than spoon playing, absent-mindedness and malapropisms. And he’s too easily fooled by the Rani. Still, McCoy’s performance has settled down.

We get our first proper look at the Tetrap costume, and it’s impressive. Mel, of course, proceeds to scream a lot. I still like her, mind. Sadly, though, these scenes feature particularly awful incidental music- Keff McCulloch has arrived.

Interestingly, the Doctor is 953 years old (as is the Rani, apparently) so the Sixth Doctor’s tenure seems to have lasted for a good fifty years or so in spite of how little of it we saw on screen. Not bad, considering both the Second and Fifth Doctors couldn’t possibly have lasted more than a few years. And there’s massive scope for untelevised adventures between this season and the last.

Another thing; we suddenly seem unmistakeably to be in the late ‘80s, what with the theme tune, title sequence, horribly dated incidental music and words like “biodegradable” appearing in the dialogue.

Part Three

“Haven’t I seen you hanging around somewhere?”

Mostly this episode is just captures, escapes, and other such padded dullness with no entertainment value whatsoever. Although it’s cool to see the Tetraps hanging upside down, like bats. But it’s striking how little substance there is to this; I’m finding very little to comment on.

Unfortunately the sight of the big brain is the most groan-inducing moment in the marathon so far…

Part Four

“I have the Loyhargil. Nothing can stop me now!”

More awfulness, with the Doctor’s arsing about in the brain being probably the worst moment, but by now I’m just waiting for the story to finish. This is worse even than Underworld, and that’s the ultimate put down.
And after a break from this sort of thing under Colin Baker, we again finish with a crowded TARDIS…

Well, I hated that. 1/5, rock bottom. With hindsight I know the era’s going to recover, but viewers at the time weren’t to know that. This is the least promising introduction to a season, an era ands a Doctor that we could possibly have imagined. Pip and Jane are the main problem; I’m sure the science is sound, but the whole thing is just pitched wrong. It’s not the fact it’s being pitched at children I object to- it is a children’s programme, after all. But this is a very lazy example of writing for children, with no depth to either the characters or the themes. There’s nothing here but the bare plot and some patronisingly “educational” science stuff, with even the new Doctor having barely any personality at this stage. Fortunately, from the next story onwards we’ll get an actual script editor, and some direction to the stories.

Doctor Who: The Faceless Ones

Part One


"It's a flying beastie!"


Once again, I'm really appreciating the luxury of actual footage, and DVD quality no less. And one of the first things we see is a 60s copper with one of those old comedy chinstraps! It's little things like this that make me miss footage so much. A good start from this Malcolm Hulke chap- I wonder if we'll ever hear from him again?

Our heroes get separated within seconds- is this a record? I notice that it's Jamie the Doctor finds first, and he's only mildly concerned about finding the others- favouritism? As many said in the Macra Terror thread, Jamie has now become his fully-fledged permanent self, and the on-screen rapport between Troughton and Hines is now at full strength fabness.

This is very well-directed, which along with the script makes it all seem very reminiscent of The Avengers, not a type of story I remember seeing before- this is most pleasing as recent stories, though good, have not been as innovative as they used to be.

The Doctor and Jamie don't seem all that enthusiastic to help Polly find Ben, and they seem to lose Polly rather easily! And Ben doesn't seem to be in this episode much at all, especially towards the end. A very unusual episode- the only real sci-fi element until the cliffhanger arrives is the ray gun.


Part Two


"We have ways of dealing with such people!"


Back to the recon, then, which is good for one thing at least- the captions along the bottom ain't half good at getting you to learn the names of all the guest characters! Things slow down an awful lot with this episode- the eye chart stuff is blatant filler, and you begin to notice how little is happening. It's not too much of a problem, at least not yet, as you're still curious about what's going on. But things need to start happening soon. And this may be competently written but after The Macra Terror it all looks a bit formulaic.

It's Pauline Collins! Er, that's an interesting Liverpool accent. Very Z-Cars... Of course, I barely recognised her as the photo's very fuzzy. These old Loose Cannon recons are noticeably much less good than the recent ones, although the fact that mine is a 50,000th generation copy probably isn't helping!

Ah, Ben finds Polly and looks around for a phone. Not the kind of scene you see much of in drama today...



Part Three


"All right, stay here. After all, they can only murder me. Ta ra!"


The Doctor's being menaced by a sinister surveillance camera. Makes you think, that- back in 1967 surveillance cameras were the stuff of Orwellian nightmares!

I'm loving the relationship between Jamie and the clearly-intended-as-a-possible-companion Samantha. And Jamie gets pulled up on why he always does what the Doctor says, which seems to be a developing theme.

Er, where have Ben and Polly gone?

Part Four


"It'll cost you 28 quid. Pounds, to you."

"Ach, but that's a fortune! I've never seen that much money in my life!"


I've only just noticed, eight episodes into the new title sequence, that the music has changed as well! Duh. It's also becoming very noticeable that this is a very old recon- perhaps there's a more recent one? The photos are not clear at all and there's no footage from the surviving episodes used for recaps, the first time I've seen this.

The deathtrap set here for the Doctor, Jamie and Samantha is in no way evocative of a certain 60s film, and I have no doubt that no one above me in this thread can possibly have quoted the line "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!"

Ooh, a mention for Ben and Polly!

Once again we get some obvious padding out of the episode to fill up the time as Meadows is found not to be on duty. The episode ends intriguingly though- it's a crying shame we can't see Jamie's 18th century reaction to being on a plane!

Part Five


"Polly, then Ben, now Jamie..."

A swanky space station in Earth orbit may not be particularly futuristic now but, of course, in 1967, six years before Skylab, this stuff was all in the zeitgeist. Plus we get miniaturised people! In filing cabinets!

At last, the all important exposition scene... what? An explosion, er, destroys the identities of the Chameleons? oh dear. Still, nicely surprising when the Inspector turns out to be a duplicate- and the Director, no less!

Good old Doctor- cheerfully going on to the chameleon plane without any sort of plan! Nurse Pinto's really quite incredibly brave too. They completely fluff their bluffing, mind- Pinto still refers to the "chameleon" who's ostensibly switched bodies from Meadows to the Doctor as "Meadows" and we're to expect Blade won't smell a rat!

Oh, and it's just dawned on me- the Inspector / Director is none other than good old Bernard Kay!


Part Six


"We are the most intelligent race in the universe!"


Interesting line spoken by Blade about both Pinto and the Doctor: "I checked at the medical centre. You're both human!" So, it's not as though the Doctor has, say, an alien physiology or anything! Still, he does have tendencies towards vandalism, which he demonstrates rather splendidly with the Chameleons' machine. I love the Trout!

Samantha leaves rather abruptly after all the proto-companioneering, but at least she and Jamie get to snog each other, according to my recon at least. And we actually get to see Ben and Polly again. Yay! I was genuinely fearing they were about to be Dodo'd. It's a bit of a coincidence that this is the exact date they left, of course, but we get a wonderfully evocative pair of lines between Polly and the Doctor that should be much better known: "The thing is, Doctor... it's my world." "Yes, yes, you're very lucky... I never got back to mine."


Well... I didn't think much of that really. It was competently structured, perhaps, and what we could see of it looked good, but things just happened so bloody slowly. This is the first time in the marathon I have to trot out the old cliché about a six parter being two episodes too long. But it's not just that- it all just felt so formulaic, and felt oddly humourless. Where was the sparkle in the dialogue? Still, I liked Samantha, and the Doctor / Jamie double act (and, I'm sure, shipping!) properly starts here. 2/5

Doctor Who: The Keys of Marinus

The Sea of Death

"And if you'd had your shoes on, my boy, you could have lent her hers."




The island in the sea looks simultaneously cheap and fantastic, as is possible only in black and white. Silent TARDIS landing, I notice. Good to see the good-natured banter between the crew- their relationships now seem settled for good. Ian's still wearing his clothes from Cathay, although there was no cliffhanger. Hang on... the TARDIS scanner is in black and white?

This is possibly the biggest episode for Billy-fluffs ever; "Yes, I don't think... I don't see why not. There's nothing no danger about". The submersible models look cool, although also giving away the true nature of the model island. Very Gerry Anderson. Oh, and another one: "No, impossible in this temperature. Besides, it's too warm".

I like the glass sand and acid sea. A truly weird environment. The Voord look cool too. I love these Terry Nation exploration first episodes! We get some real horror with the implied terrible death of the Voord in the submersible- once again rather eyebrow-raising for a family show.

The pyramid looks good, with the corridors looking almost but not quite like an expressionist set from a German silent film. The environment is once again cool; a Mexican style pyramid littered with traps.

The Conscience of Marinus... hmm. Civil liberties not big on Marinus then? Arbitan is quite excellently played by George Coulouris, who manages to make something of a character whose sole purpose is exposition and starting up the plot.

Good Lord! Our heroes are separated from the TARDIS. In a Terry Nation script. Who'd have thunk it. I'm most amused by this invisible force field acting. And also the proto-Blake's 7 transportation bracelets! Once the quest is established the whole thing suddenly feels very Irwin Allen.

Arbitan's death scene... oh dear! This is all good fun though.

The Velvet Web

"I believe you're under some deep form of deep hypnosis."

Suddenly, everything changes from Doctor Who to Abigail's Party. Barbara's managed to get changed, meet her host and everything in about thirty seconds- is there anything the woman can't do? I notice Ian leching at the young ladies...

Is it me, or do I get the impression from the dialogue there's bound to be a "bill" of some kind, wrapped around some kind of moral? This is rather well done, all the same- very sinister. The paranoia of Barbara being the only one who can see things as they are is brilliantly played by Jacqueline Hill.

Cool! Brains in jars! This is great. For a moment I thought there might be some kind of subtext about all materialism being, like, illusory, man, but then I remembered this was scripted by Terry Nation.

So what would have happened if that disc hadn't fallen off Barbara? She saves everyone, of course, being great, but aren't the baddies ("Our brains outgrew our bodies". Er, okay...) leaving themselves rather vulnerable though? They can't be very bright.

Interesting how the Doctor takes charge at the end. There's been a definite change at some point in his character. Dodgy plan though. You're in "a very dangerous situation" so you split up. Yeeeesss.



This is one I'd been dreading, but I'm actually quite enjoying it so far. it's all very silly, of course, but fun.

The Screaming Jungle

"Nature has a fixed tempo of destruction".


Susan's getting hysterical again. It must be a Terry Nation script. Fortunately we get Ian, Barbara and the two Planks arriving to calm her down.

Oh, look at that statue with the key in it. Do you think it might be, I don't know, a trap at all? A very naughty trap, too, sexually harassing first Barbara and then Ian.

Oh, look at that knight with the massive halberd, Ian. Do you think it might be, you know, a trap? Yes, that's right, you just turn your back on it, nothing bad will happen...

These traps are fun, if very silly. Those spikes falling in to Barbara don't look all that deadly, mind...

That bloke played by Edmund Warwick gets the coolest exit possible. That's how I want to depart this mortal coil; with some gratuitously cryptic last words.

The Snows of Terror


"I'm afraid you'll have to entertain them alone, Vasor. We have to leave."


Vasor is an extremely unpleasant character, especially after he's left alone with Barbara. There's clearly an implied threat of rape which doesn't feel at all tonally right for what is basically an old 1930s movie serial.

Oh, look- crossing chasms in a Terry Nation story again! Although it's still managing to entertain, the story's beginning to drag.

Why doesn't Vasor lock the door at the end as he did earlier?

Oh dear, I'm no fan of that old cliché of the hero being falsely accused of murder- I don't like the implications of this cliffhanger at all...



Overall, after an entertaining first two parts the story's beginning to pall. Each episode seems slightly less good than the one before, and I miss William Hartnell.

Sentence of Death

"Yes, I do know somebody, if I can find him."

"Who is he?"

"Who?"


Blimey, this is the longest reprise so far.

If Ian's suspected of murder, why does no one suspect the other TARDISeers (for I too shall nick this splendid phrase)? There should at least be questions about who they are and where they came from.

Oh, it's Fiona Walker, in Doctor Who! All will be hers...

Suddenly things get nasty (and tonally jarring) as Anonymous Bloke is heard hitting his wife. We know at this point that he's not going to be allowed to survive. One problem with this story is it's hard to tell apart the different men in uniforms.



The Keys of Marinus

"I am suffering from a deadly disease!"


Good grief! Kala, one of only two suspects, has kidnapped Susan! Still, the only other suspect, the prosecutor (whose name I never catch, but I spent half of last episode thinking all the men in uniform were Tarron) seems a nice bloke, commiserating with the Doctor in a scene in no way meant to deflect suspicion.

William Russell's not having an overly taxing week, is he?

Another namedrop by the Doctor- Pyrrho.

Back to the island, where we meet Yartek, Leader of the Alien Voord. Interesting how Ian takes charge, directing the TARDISeers to split up.

I'm utterly dumbstruck by the scene in which Barbara suggests to the Doctor that he carry a knife, and he casually agrees.

Yartek, Leader of the Alien Voord's disguise had me in stitches. Who exactly is this bloke, incidentally? He's just a generic baddie who turns up with no build-up and no real motivation.




Overall, not very good for me, I'm afraid. I feel guilty about awarding a 1/5 but that's what I felt. The first couple of episodes were at least entertaining but everything since has felt tired, disjointed, and perhaps worst of all the regulars didn't feel quite in character. Barbara was far too passive- Terry Nation doesn't seem able to write strong women so far. And again Nation gives us "action hero" Ian rather than the wryly humorous character I'd come to like. Worst of all, Susan was as annoying as ever in this story.

On a positive note, though, I enjoyed it more than I was expecting, although not necessarily for the reasons which were intended!