The Prisoner: Checkmate

"It 's not allowed- the cult of the individual!"

A weird but very interesting episode this time, with subtle exploration of themes of totalitarian control through some sharp and nuanced dialogue and a very Brezhnev-like exploration of how dissent can be medicalised as a mental condition.

Yes, we get the visual spectacle early on of a chess game played with real people, but this is just done to introduce chess as a metaphor and introduce us to the likeable “queen” who, sadly, is fated to be used as a pawn-.and to show us a rebellious rook (never referred to as anyone else) who commits the crime of independent thought. It’s interesting, though, that this is followed by Number Six having an interesting and opaque conversation with one of the players, played by no less a figure than George Coulouris, who explains ways of distinguishing prisoners from staff.

The medical scenes are disturbing, with the rook’s individualism being punished by Pavlovian electric shocks and the psychiatrist, a Freudian quack, recommending to the new Number Two (a coasting Peter Wyngarde) that Number Six should be forced to have a “leucotomy”, better known as a lobotomy; in 1967 no longer quite flavour of the month but still legal to perform on a patient without their consent in the UK. Even Brezhnev’s Soviet Union had no truck with this barbarity.

Also cruel, though, is the way the queen is conditioned into unrequited love for Number Six. And the end is clever; Number Six is betrayed by his own accomplices who are in the end unable to accept him as a fellow prisoner because of his air of authority. This may not be the most high concept of episodes but it’s quietly one of the cleverer scripts.

Citizen Kane (1941)

"If I hadn't been very rich, I might have been a great man."

At the age of 38 I've finally seen this film, and feel a little bit more cultured than I was. It's far too dense with signifiers and crammed with meaning to add much to the decades of critical discussion after just one viewing, yes, but at least I can say what I thought. Essentially, it's exactly as good as people say it is. Sometimes you can go into a film with sky-high expectations and end up a little deflated that it turns out to be merely excellent rather than sublime. I suspect my expectations were lowered a little by the fact that Citizen Kane no longer tends to sit at the top of all these "Top 100" lists as it used to but, well, it should. 

Yes, the whole "rosebud" thing turns out to be a fairly facile revelation about the loss of childhood innocence, but there's a lot more going on than that. Plus the direction is incredible courtesy of a young Orson Welles, and his performance as Charles Foster Kane is spellbinding: a man of depth, wit and charisma and who never quite lets you in. 

The script, too, is as philosophical as a nineteenth century novel, with a line on memory that's redolent of Proust and a clever examination of the newspaper industry's loss of innocence, paralleling Kane's own. Most clever, though, is that Kane is only ever seen through the memories of others, never on his own terms; perhaps we have the cinematic equivalent of the unreliable narrator.

Oh, and at last I get the references in the White Stripes' "The Union Forever".

This is a truly great film and worthy of far more than a hurried blog post written on the 16.09 from Birmingham New Street to Coleshill Parkway. If you haven't seen it, you should bloody well do so.

The Skull (1965)

"All I can say to you is to keep away from the skull of the Marquis de Sade!"

I haven't reviewed a film featuring the great Sir Christopher Lee since his sad and fairly recent death, which is remiss of me. So I decided, on a whim, that this rather interesting-looking Amicus film, directed by the ever-reliable Freddie Francis, might do the trick. Perhaps it isn't Lee's biggest role- he's very much the guest star to an extraordinary starring performance from Peter Cushing here- but he is, nevertheless, superb. The auction scene alone (a cameo from Michael Gough!) shows that.

The film is excellently shot and made and, while the effects at the end are a little dated, that's all part of the film's charm. The film isn't perfect- the only two female characters exist only to be imperilled, and the Bechdel test is well and truly flunked, as you'd expect, and perhaps the pacing could be improved- but it's carried by Cushing's extraordinary performance: the moment towards the end where, with facial acting alone, he shows himself being possessed by the skull- is extraordinary.

Yes, there are cliches aplenty- we even have a police inspector dressed exactly like Clouseau in his coat and hat- but this Poe-like tale, in which Cushing's Chris Maitland, a rich collector of macabre items who doesn't enquire too closely into the ethics of their acquiral, is slowly unhinged and turned to murder by the cursed skull of the Marquis de Sade, is suitably griping. We get a satisfyingly lurid account of Sade's life, and some rather nice use of flashback to show us the skull's deadly history. It's only the slight slowness of the admittedly well-directed climax that lets the side down slightly.

This may be a slightly obscure film, but it's worth catching on Netflix if you can and, at 82 minutes, doesn't outstay it's welcome. 

Doctor Who: The Keys of Marinus

The Sea of Death

"And if you'd had your shoes on, my boy, you could have lent her hers."




The island in the sea looks simultaneously cheap and fantastic, as is possible only in black and white. Silent TARDIS landing, I notice. Good to see the good-natured banter between the crew- their relationships now seem settled for good. Ian's still wearing his clothes from Cathay, although there was no cliffhanger. Hang on... the TARDIS scanner is in black and white?

This is possibly the biggest episode for Billy-fluffs ever; "Yes, I don't think... I don't see why not. There's nothing no danger about". The submersible models look cool, although also giving away the true nature of the model island. Very Gerry Anderson. Oh, and another one: "No, impossible in this temperature. Besides, it's too warm".

I like the glass sand and acid sea. A truly weird environment. The Voord look cool too. I love these Terry Nation exploration first episodes! We get some real horror with the implied terrible death of the Voord in the submersible- once again rather eyebrow-raising for a family show.

The pyramid looks good, with the corridors looking almost but not quite like an expressionist set from a German silent film. The environment is once again cool; a Mexican style pyramid littered with traps.

The Conscience of Marinus... hmm. Civil liberties not big on Marinus then? Arbitan is quite excellently played by George Coulouris, who manages to make something of a character whose sole purpose is exposition and starting up the plot.

Good Lord! Our heroes are separated from the TARDIS. In a Terry Nation script. Who'd have thunk it. I'm most amused by this invisible force field acting. And also the proto-Blake's 7 transportation bracelets! Once the quest is established the whole thing suddenly feels very Irwin Allen.

Arbitan's death scene... oh dear! This is all good fun though.

The Velvet Web

"I believe you're under some deep form of deep hypnosis."

Suddenly, everything changes from Doctor Who to Abigail's Party. Barbara's managed to get changed, meet her host and everything in about thirty seconds- is there anything the woman can't do? I notice Ian leching at the young ladies...

Is it me, or do I get the impression from the dialogue there's bound to be a "bill" of some kind, wrapped around some kind of moral? This is rather well done, all the same- very sinister. The paranoia of Barbara being the only one who can see things as they are is brilliantly played by Jacqueline Hill.

Cool! Brains in jars! This is great. For a moment I thought there might be some kind of subtext about all materialism being, like, illusory, man, but then I remembered this was scripted by Terry Nation.

So what would have happened if that disc hadn't fallen off Barbara? She saves everyone, of course, being great, but aren't the baddies ("Our brains outgrew our bodies". Er, okay...) leaving themselves rather vulnerable though? They can't be very bright.

Interesting how the Doctor takes charge at the end. There's been a definite change at some point in his character. Dodgy plan though. You're in "a very dangerous situation" so you split up. Yeeeesss.



This is one I'd been dreading, but I'm actually quite enjoying it so far. it's all very silly, of course, but fun.

The Screaming Jungle

"Nature has a fixed tempo of destruction".


Susan's getting hysterical again. It must be a Terry Nation script. Fortunately we get Ian, Barbara and the two Planks arriving to calm her down.

Oh, look at that statue with the key in it. Do you think it might be, I don't know, a trap at all? A very naughty trap, too, sexually harassing first Barbara and then Ian.

Oh, look at that knight with the massive halberd, Ian. Do you think it might be, you know, a trap? Yes, that's right, you just turn your back on it, nothing bad will happen...

These traps are fun, if very silly. Those spikes falling in to Barbara don't look all that deadly, mind...

That bloke played by Edmund Warwick gets the coolest exit possible. That's how I want to depart this mortal coil; with some gratuitously cryptic last words.

The Snows of Terror


"I'm afraid you'll have to entertain them alone, Vasor. We have to leave."


Vasor is an extremely unpleasant character, especially after he's left alone with Barbara. There's clearly an implied threat of rape which doesn't feel at all tonally right for what is basically an old 1930s movie serial.

Oh, look- crossing chasms in a Terry Nation story again! Although it's still managing to entertain, the story's beginning to drag.

Why doesn't Vasor lock the door at the end as he did earlier?

Oh dear, I'm no fan of that old cliché of the hero being falsely accused of murder- I don't like the implications of this cliffhanger at all...



Overall, after an entertaining first two parts the story's beginning to pall. Each episode seems slightly less good than the one before, and I miss William Hartnell.

Sentence of Death

"Yes, I do know somebody, if I can find him."

"Who is he?"

"Who?"


Blimey, this is the longest reprise so far.

If Ian's suspected of murder, why does no one suspect the other TARDISeers (for I too shall nick this splendid phrase)? There should at least be questions about who they are and where they came from.

Oh, it's Fiona Walker, in Doctor Who! All will be hers...

Suddenly things get nasty (and tonally jarring) as Anonymous Bloke is heard hitting his wife. We know at this point that he's not going to be allowed to survive. One problem with this story is it's hard to tell apart the different men in uniforms.



The Keys of Marinus

"I am suffering from a deadly disease!"


Good grief! Kala, one of only two suspects, has kidnapped Susan! Still, the only other suspect, the prosecutor (whose name I never catch, but I spent half of last episode thinking all the men in uniform were Tarron) seems a nice bloke, commiserating with the Doctor in a scene in no way meant to deflect suspicion.

William Russell's not having an overly taxing week, is he?

Another namedrop by the Doctor- Pyrrho.

Back to the island, where we meet Yartek, Leader of the Alien Voord. Interesting how Ian takes charge, directing the TARDISeers to split up.

I'm utterly dumbstruck by the scene in which Barbara suggests to the Doctor that he carry a knife, and he casually agrees.

Yartek, Leader of the Alien Voord's disguise had me in stitches. Who exactly is this bloke, incidentally? He's just a generic baddie who turns up with no build-up and no real motivation.




Overall, not very good for me, I'm afraid. I feel guilty about awarding a 1/5 but that's what I felt. The first couple of episodes were at least entertaining but everything since has felt tired, disjointed, and perhaps worst of all the regulars didn't feel quite in character. Barbara was far too passive- Terry Nation doesn't seem able to write strong women so far. And again Nation gives us "action hero" Ian rather than the wryly humorous character I'd come to like. Worst of all, Susan was as annoying as ever in this story.

On a positive note, though, I enjoyed it more than I was expecting, although not necessarily for the reasons which were intended!