Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part III

 "He's coming, Master..."

Halfway through and, yes, this series is somewhat predictable in how it's padding out. It looks good, it's acted well, but the story is nothing ground-breaking, still, prepared to the work of Jon Favreau. But that's actually ok. This may not be awesome, or ground-breaking, but it's very good nonetheless. It's pure fanwank, but very good fanwank.

This is essentially about Obi-Wan trying to get Leia to safety without getting caught by Stormtroopers, and there are a lot of suitably dramatic tension-filled scenes. But it's also, from the first shot, in which Vader emerges from his flotation tank to put on his armour, about the countdown to a lightsabre fight between Obi-Wan and Vader, which is a huge event but which Kenobi essentially loses but survives- much like Luke in The Empire Strikes Back.

The chemistry between Obi-Wan and Leia here, moving realistically from wariness to mutual affection, is brilliant, and makes us see her message to him in Star Wars quite differently. But the cliffhanger is deeply horrifying, as it should be. And I love the deliciously petty power struggle between the two Inquisitors, and the real sense of political divisions over order vs freedom now the Empire is in charge.

It's also great to see Indira Varma, who was superb in Torchwood and is superb here, and it's especially awesome to hear James Earl Jones. This may not be original stuff, but I'm having fun with it.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part II

 "You're not a Jedi any more, Kenobi. You're just a man. And you're bleeding all over my floor."

Episode two... and we leave Tattoine to a markedly different, and much more studio-bound (if CGI-heavy) hive of scum and villainy. The plot works out as we expected- Obi-Wan rescues Leia, who turns out to be a cheeky little minx, and ends up being successful despite the inquisitors, especially the impressive Reva, who seems to have a chip on her shoulder.

Ewan McGregor is good. Flea is excellent. Moses Ingram is increasingly impressive. And some interesting stuff happens- Reva kills her annoying boss for being a snob; she reveals to Obi-Wan that she's working for Darth Vader- and Anakin lives; Obi-Wan uses his Jedi powers to save Leia having not used them at all until this point; and at the end we see Vader himself (er, Hayden Christensen!) in a flotation tank.

It's good. It's entertaining. It's just pretty standard, Joseph Campbell stuff- admittedly not inappropriate for Star Wars- and so far doesn't have the creativity or take the risks of those spin-offs whose protagonists wear Beskar.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 2- Vecna's Curse

 "I thought we were watching Thundercats?"

Once again, we have a movie length episode, and a bloody good one. Nt only is this top '80s nostalgia with plenty of period-style scares and a proper dig at those utter morons who equated D&D players with devil worshippers, it juggles what by now is a huge cast with aplomb-no mean feat- while handling a large number of plot threads.

Hence we have Vecna, a creepy new baddie who kills its second victim in as many episodes- this time a young man wrestling with guilt at killing someone in a car accident- as Dustin leads Max, Robin and Steve to investigate. Meanwhile Joyce has her own sub-plot looking for Hopper in some gulag hellhole in Kamchatka. Perhaps worst of all, bulling scum (I have no sympathy for Angela) get their violent comeuppance from poor Eleven in a way which seems to reawaken long-repressed memories.

There's more- a new sheriff, Jonathan facing a terrible dilemma and seeking solace in, er, "Palm Tree Delight", awesome visuals and perfect characterisation. As ever the performances are first rate. This new season is humming already.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part I

 "It's been ten years. I'm not who I used to be."

We begin with a"previously on" showing us a succint summary of the events of the three Star Wars prequels. I would comment about this being the perfect alternative to going through the horrors of actually watching these films, but I won't. Partly because, while they are certainly very flawed and downright bad in many places, that would be a little harsh.

Well, I said "a little"

But mostly it's because I'm blogging this first episode three days after it dropped, and I know for a fact every single blogger who got there before me will have made that quip.

I'm sure I'm not the first, either, to raise an eyebrow and warily point to the fact that yet another Star Wars spin-off on Disney appears, so far, to be Tattoine-based, even if the premise sort of justifies this rather well. Nor will I be the first to lightly remark at the lack of Mandalorians, or the actual non-involvement of Jon Favreau. 

I think, for now, I'll confine myself to expressing satisfaction. This is a logical seam of continuity for a mini-series to mine. Yes, it's all very Joseph Campbell as the episode is all about an ageing ex-hero in Obi-Wan, jaded and reluctant to do any further heroics after the shock of losing Anakin and the horrifying drudgery and poverty of his current life, which is shown extremely well in the many repetitice factory montages. The whole thing is exquisitely directed by Deborah Chow, and Ewan McGregor is outstanding.

The Inquisitors are a superb creation, too, and the last minute revelation that the kidnapping of Leia (who is awesome, and the daddy in me loves the touching father/daughter scene) is a big trap for Obi-Wan by the nastiest Inquisitor is nicely done. Flea is excellent too.

It's all a bit of fun, nothing original and nothing new. But it's extremely well-executed, so far, in every way. I'm enjoying this.

Stranger Things: Season 4, Chapter 1- The Hellfire Club

 “I like boobies. You like boobies.”

It’s back. And it’s… seventy-seven minutes long. With the following six episodes to be released thus far being a similar length. Gulp. Oh, and those episodes don’t even comprise the whole season.

This is the biggest season of Stranger Things this far. Judging by this highly eventful first episode, although there’s a long way to go, early signs are that it’s a contender for the best.

There are, by now, so many characters to keep track of. Now in California we have Eleven, being bullied, and Will, while Joyce discovers a clue in a creepy Russian doll (brrr!) that Hopper may still be alive. Simultaneously, in Hawkins, Lucas is turning away from geekdom towards basketball and the popular kids, but his awesome sister Erica is more than a suitable replacement.

There’s more. Steve and Robin make great friends, talking about girls they like. There’s a new, awesome, weed dealing geek metalhead character, Eddie. And there’s the poor girl who is so horribly and effectively killed by Vecna who, as is traditional, is a D&D baddie- in this case, I believe, a lich from the Greyhawk campaign. Incidentally, I loved seeing the 1st Edition AD&D paraphernalia.

So far there’s a lot of very well done character stuff, and the villain seems to be terrifying in a way that truly uses the grammar of cinematic horror. It’s very well directed indeed by the Duffer Brothers. And I’m already hooked.

Loving the title too; I suspect it's a reference not so much to Joseph Dashwood as to Chris Claremont.

Update

 So at the moment I’m blogging Breaking Bad, Luke Cage and Green Hornet, plus the odd film, novel, and album.

That won’t change.

However, this week and next see the launch of new series of Stranger Things, Obi-Wan Kenobi and The Boys. These series are likely to take over just a tad, but normal service will then be resumed.

Ring (1998)

 Frolic in brine; goblins be thine."

This is a very late '90s film, full of truly great interior decor. It's also the greatest horror film ever made. The concept is genius: a videotape (this dates the film, in the best possible way) that kills you in seven days. Yet there's no gore, just exquisite suspense arising from truly superlative direction in the grammar of horror, a genre which relies on the directorial voice more than any other. Unlike any other genre, it hinges on the effectiveness of specific shots. This film achieves said effectiveness triumphantly.

It's a very human film, too. We follow one woman, a journalist, with her cute little son, as she investigates, and ends up seeing the video, enlisting her academic ex-boyfriend. The drama of each day passing towards death is enormously effective. The film rides the concept to the end: there isa nothing else, despite the hints at redindled romance. Although, er, he slaps her face in the well when things get hard. Well then.

But that moment (SPOILERS ABOUND!!!) when the seer's daughter comes out of the telly is incredible. I love the minimalism of the horror. We see only this shamblingly feminine figure, here hair covering her face, until we see... yeah, The make-up is minimal, and all the better for it. She is terrifying. She is iconic horror. She is nightmare fuel. Yet she is achieved without CGI, in a film without gore. That's real horror.

So is the conclusion.This is genius, extraordinary, and as of today the greatest horror film I have ever seen.

The Green Hornet, Episode Four: Pillar of Flame

 "He'll be getting a visit from the Green Hornet!"

It's fascinating to think that literally all the movie serials I've done this far have been based on (very early iterations of) superheroes, but this comes from a different tradition: the pulp hero. And the Green Hornet is not even a character from pulp magazines but from radio, from whence the awesome theme tune comes. Yet, with a superlative directorial team (look at the wipes between scenes) don't treat this genre any different to that of its successor, the superhero. Then again, I suspect they're both themselves, within the movie serial format, basically fitting within an adventure crime genre.

I mean, there's no plot here. Last week it was insurance fraus via booby trapped plans; this time its a car racket. I don't care. It's fun, it's classy, and Kato's costume (goggles and bow tie) is hilarious. The DA has an English butler; it's 1940. There's a brilliant succession of brilliantly directed plane crasahes, car chases, brilliant set pieces.

Luke Cage: Now You're Mine

 "What you talkin' about, Willis?"

This is a taut, exciting episode crammed full of action and drama in equal measure. It's a hostage situation in Harlem's Paradise, with Luke in hiding protecting Misty, who now at last believes wholly in his innocence. But Stryker is willing to kill hostages, and happy to manipulate the police outside into blaming Luke for everything.

It's gripping drama, full of Luke being stoic, noble and heroic as ever in a world that doesn't deserve him. But Claire, too, is awesome, as is the wounded Missy, realising the truth and being big enough to apologise to Claire. We hear more of Stryker's backstory, and his unfair prison term while his mother died alone. It's intertesting that it should be held back this late.

There's a guest appearance from Blake Tower of Daredevil, making these Netflix shows (which they still are) feel more of a coherent unit. There are also signs that those who matter, if not those higher up, are beginning to believe in Luke's innocence. Perhaps. But he does the right thing regardless.

The ending, with Luke in custody, Misty badly injured and Diamondback free, leaves everything up in the air. This is brilliant telly. Two to go...

The Green Hornet, Episode Three: Flying Coffins

 "Any landing you can walk away from isa good landing!"

A summary of this episide wouldn't give much of a clue as to how good it is. Insurance frauds continue, this time through the dastardly practice of insuring the lives of young traineee pilot and sending them up in planes rigged to crash. Again, the Green Hornet investigate, there's a death, and the Hornet is framed.

Yet the action sequences are genuinely superb. There's a car chase where a car goes off a cliff. The cliffanger resolution ends excitement on top of a train. And the cliffhanger has the Green Hornet, brave and stubbern to the pointy of being utterly bonkers, force the boss of the flying schoolinto one of the planes known to be dodgy- with himself- and uses the insane levels of peril to get answers to bhis questions. That's intense, to put it mildly, and leads to quite the cliffhanger as the plain goes into the inevitable tailspin and the equally inevitable explosion. It's all so wel, shot it isn't obviously stock footage.

It's not the fairly bog standard movie serial plot- just one set piece after another- that makes this a cut above your average movie serial. It's just really well made.

Luke Cage: Take It Personal

 "I am my brother's keeper. Whether I like it or not."

This is an episode of answers, as the season starts to inch towards its denouement. Yes, the new team of Maria and Diamondback are cleverly manipulating all of Harlem- including the cops, by framing Luke for a cop killing- against the ever-decent yet unfortunate Mr Cage, who also suffers the heartbreak at this point of realising that Reva, whom he loved, betrayed him from the start. At least Claire is a true friend... just a friend? She's certainly a far better medical professional than that Dr Mengele assisting her...

But answers there are. Luke and Claire discover the true scale of the experiments at Seagate, and learn more of his powers- he is ageless. Meanwhile, Misty learns the identity of her attacker, that Luke was Carl Lucas, and that he and Stryker were tried together for grand theft auto, I'm sure wew shall hear more of this.

There are bigger bombshells, though, in Georgia- Luke realises, through the medium of flashbach, that Stryker is his half-brother through his father's affair. Wow. 

Mistry is extraordinary here, going a long way to redeeming herself, even as the rest of the police disgrace themselves with reckless and racist witch hunts. She finds Stryker, he shoots... and all hell breaks loose. Once again, after last episode's cliffhanger, it's topped this time as Luke protects an injured Misty from an armed mob with his body...

This is a wonderful television series, with so much social subtext. There's so much here about the interplay between racism, business and police brutality. Superb.

Breaking Bad: Buyout

 "I said I threw them. I would never come to the headquarters of our illegal meth operation, dragging a bunch of cops, would I?"

This is an extraordinary episode full of twists, turns, character moments and a very real sense that this final season is the last act of a very long theatrical tragedy, as Walt/Heisenberg spurns a golden chance to cash in, walk away from all this, and cash in as a rich man to try and rebuild relations with the family he's lost. But he won't. He's Heisenberg. And, in a pivotal two hander betweewn Walt (well, Heisenberg) and Jesse, he reminisces about the business (as we saw in Season One) that is worth billions today, yet he sold his stake for $5,000.

Walt is cursed by a tragic flaw which, I'm sure, will cause his downfall. He's addicted to the criminal life. He's Heisenberg.

Jesse and Mike are not like him. Admittedly, for Mike, it's the constant DEA harassment, but it's nonetheless clear that he's shaken by the murder of a child. As for Jesse, he's absolutely devastated. Aaron Paul, incidentally, is superlative here, not only in his very human reaction to the murder but in the awkwardness of the meal with Walt and a Skyler who is really downing the wine. This competent, intelligent if uneducated, morally complex man is suddenly reduced again to a child.

The cliffhanger is interesting, though. Both Jesse and Mike want to sell out for $5 million each, and leave the meth business forever. Yet there's a snag; the potential buyers need Walt out of the business, setting up a conflict of interest between Walt and his erstwhile comrades. But Walt, smug despite the gun to his face, has a plan.

I'm loving this.

Neuromancer by William Gibson

 I last read this novel in something like 1996. That was long ago, and the world has changed. We all live our lives, to a large degree, within the Internet, and it’s strange to see elements of this here, in the first major novel to predict the kind of technological future we ended up having. Not that it uses its crystal ball with perfection: this is a future very much forged in the anxieties of the ‘80s, with fear of nuclear war (a limited exchange took place in Germany but it rightly not much dwelt upon, corporate power and the rise of Japan. Everyone still smokes.

Yet this, along with Blade Runner, is the traditional starting point of Cyberpunk, perhaps personified by the cyborg, beshaded sexiness of the awesome Molly. 

Oddly, the tropes of cyberpunk- the cyborg surgery, the Matrix, the corporate dominance- are all very much fully-formed here, but they are primarily visual, and this novel is not. It is deeply clever and contextual but the prose style and narrative do not hold our hand. This is a supremely effective prose style but one which leaves much to the reader. It is also a prose style that would simply confuse and annoy if used by a lesser writer- as it would be, often, in the following decade.

This novel is at once cutting-edge cool and rather difficult. You can definitely see the much-discussed influence of William S. Burroughs. There’s a reason that a novel so famous has never been filmed: much of it takes place in confusing, abstract and dreamlike landscapes. It is, nevertheless both phenomenally important and a work of pure genius.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

 "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"

This is a very unusual curiosity. For one thing, it's the only film in the Halloween franchise not to star Michael Myers- very much part of John Carpenter's original conception; he wanted each film to be an original story- and that this is a Hollywood film written by Nigel Kneale.

Naturally, Kneale took his name off the script. It was butchered by committee, as is the Hollywood way. And yet- minus the creepy crawlies, bizarre besuited robots and the drill up Teddy's ear (uurgh!), this is basically his story, only with the dialogue altered to be more rubbish. Oddly enough, cdespite its profoundly Irish California-ness, it's utterly Kneale.

We have the dark view of human nature, not only in the concept but the fact the hero is a drunked divorced father whois constantly, and not always reasonably, finding reasons not to see his kids. We also have the hero being a stentorian man of science- in this case a medical doctor. And again we have acient evil in the form of the murky pagan origins of Halloween.

I rather enjoyed this. It's flawed, but ultimately rather engaging. Even the bits Kneale didn't envisage- the spiders and snakes, the bizarre besuited robots, the motel setting- work, and add to the atmosphere. Even the gore is more subtle and off-screen- mostly- than its reputation.

And Dan O'Herlihy, '80s Hollywood baddie per excellence, puts in a careeer best, scenery-chewing in the best possible eway, performance.

Forget Michael Myers. Just enjoy this film for what it is. It's flawed, but Kneale's ideas still define it.

Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie (1994)

 "I can't stand women who jabber like parrots!

I never really was a gamer in the modern sense of headphones and immersive games. I played computer games until about '94 or so when I discovered rock music, and from that point on I stopped buying games for the Sega Mega Drive and started buying CDs. It all seems so quaint now.

I've never really been much of a gamer since, and my interests in the genre these days are decidedly retro. Hence my interest in this, what I believe is only the second anime I've ever blogged, as I have fond memories of playing the game in the arcade- yes, the arcade- in the early '90s.

There was, of course, a live action film of the game released in the same year, which I blogged some time ago. This animation, cheerfully daft though it is, with hilariously rubbish dialogue, is far superior. It actually features all the characters, faithfully, although many of them (Guile, E. Honda and especially Ken) are absolute wankers and M. Bison's fictional terrorist organisation is risible. 

Despite this, it's great to see the characters all shown as true to their appearance, all getting reasonable amounts of screen time despite the focus on Ryu and Ken, and some truly aweesome animation. The fights, in particular, look amazing. And those are the main things, really; this was never going to be great drama, although the scene where Ken proposes to his girlfriend in the clumsiest possible way and then sulks when she says no is hilarious.

This is a load of old tosh. But it's enjoyable tosh.

Incidentally, the soundtrack is awesome, with Alice in Chains, and Korn from when they were good.

The Green Hornet, Episode Two: Thundering Terror

 "This man has been shot by the Green Hornet!"

Once again it's clear that this is a superior movie serial. The direction, the acting and even the script(!) are a cut above the usual enjoyable bit cheerfully cheap fare. And, this being the second episode, we get a crawl of text as recap that might well have been seen by a young George Lucas. On its own terms, it's a classy way to fulfil a narrative function.

It's also becomig clear how bloody good Gordon Jones as the Hornet/Britt Reid and Keye Luke as Kato are; movie serials don't usually get good actors. Even the portrayal of Kato, so far, soft-pedals the racism in ways we probably have to say are impressive for 1940.

Yes, the cliffhanger resolution is "cut to a bit later". Yes, there's a comedy Irishman with a terrible accent. Yes, the baddies are all behatted 1940s hoods. Yet it's all done so well. And the basic set-up- for one whose only actual knowledge of the Green Hornet comes from two episodes of Batman, although I have heard the superb theme tune before somewhere, is actually pretty awrsome. The Green Hornet is suspected as a criminal by the 1940s Keystone Kops, and Britt Reid is an outwardly cynical millionaire news editor.

Also, this is about rreal social issues, such as exploitative insurance fraud. Also also, the cliffhanger is a chase on top of a train.

This is going to be fun.

Breaking Bad: Dead Freight

 "Everyone sounds like Meryl Street with a gun to their head..."

This is a heist episode, obviously. The heist is splendidly tense, magnificently helmed and hugely entertaining, as every heist should be, Yet that ending, with the hired help killing a kid who witnessed it, having been told earlier by Walt that there had to be no witnesses... ouch. Last season Walt was accusing Gus of killing children, which he would never do. He's really crossed a line here, one from which there can be no redemption.

So Skyler is right to stick to her guns in using what power she has to resist him, keeping the kids safe and away (at what cost?) as a quid pro quo for tolerating him- in a way that implied cold eyed, meaningless sex. And Hank, going all David Brent after his promotion, is naive to trust the man who bugged his office- just as Walt and Jesse are, perhaps, also wrong to trust the devious Lydia as Mike postpones her execution yet again. She's a fascinating character- scheming, moral, yet she'd do anything for her daughter. I love how eager Mike is to kill her.

It's a paranoid episode, full of bugs, mistrust and unexpected problems, much like organised crime itself. And it's an episode in which Heisenberg get what they want and solve their little problem. But in doing so they pass the point of no return into real darkness.

This is dark, dark, brilliant telly.

Luke Cage: DWYCK

 "What's up, Doc?"

So much happens in this extra-long episode, in which Luke truly reaches rock bottom and literally everything is in flux. There's clearly a lot to happen as the season enters the final stretch. This is bloody good telly.

Luke is wounded, seemingly dying, and lucky to be looked after by the awesomely determined Claire as he ends up with the doctor from Seabrook prison who originally experimented on him, zooming towards a dramatic cliffhanger as the dramatic and tortuous cure turns out, perhaps, to be as deadly as Diamondback's bullets. It's extraordinary stuff.

Speaking of Diamondback, who is he? Is he Luke's brother, unacknowledged? He's certainly a chaismatic villain, with his Biblical quotes and his slow taking over of all that Cottonmouth once had... including Mariah, clever and manipulative as she is, whose talents are now to be used by him in an extraordinarily murderous gangland scene which changes Harlem's underworld for good.

Finally, and mostvimportantly, we get some extraordinary character stuff for Misty, with an extraordinary performance from Simone Missick as a psychiatrist teases out of her why she snapped at Claire; the fact that Diamondback performed that sadistic mock exacution, something that's going to take a lot of healing.

Action, drama, suspense... this is top telly.

The Green Hornet, Episode One: The Tunnel of Terror

" I think the Hornet is the modern Robin Hood this city needs!"

Time for a new series to take the non-Marvel spot, and what better than this classic movie serial from 1940, a birthday present (nope, not telling you how old) from my brother and sister-in-law, who are well aware of my odd tastes. This serial is quite a prospect, partly because it stars a classic pulp radio noir hero who, twenty-seven years later, would guest star in Batman with Adam West, but mostly because Kato is played here by Keye Luke, who would go on, forty-four years later, to play the old man who sold Gizmo in Gremlins.

That's real stardom. Beat that, Bruce Lee.

Yes, this is standard movie serial stuff, with a pulp edge, but it's by Ford Beebe and Ray Taylor. Yes, it follows the tropes, and there's lots of hilarious "as you, know, Bob" exposition, but this is a superior example, however silly the Hornet's mask may look. Both Gordon Jones- as a Britt Reid who leans farvmore into the playboy persona than Bruce Wayne ever will- and Keye Luke- as a gleeful Korean Q with a regular supply of gadgets- are superb.

The plot, no doubt, bears no relation to what is to come, centring on health and safety for miners of all things, with the cliffhanger being the collapseof a mine tunnel, but this is gloriously random, the cars are great and the social attitudes are fascinating. Let's see where this goes...

Breaking Bad: Fifty-One

 "Tell me, can a geezer do donuts?

So Walt is fifty-one, exactly one year before the fast forward that opened the season... and little more than a single year, diegetically at least, from all this first started , which feels scarcely conceivable.This birthday episode is not full of action but of deep character drama, with both script and performances- all round- being simply superlative. Also, Rian bloody Johnson directs.

We start with Walt and Walt Jr being all laddish with fast, horrible cars. I realise, at forty-five, it's long past time for me to start planning m own mid-life crisis, but I don't think I'll be doing it like this, thank you very much. It's another sign of Walt's reckless side, and the hubris that suffuses this episode.

This is Walt vs Skyler. Emerging from the depths of her depression- literally; once again the swimming pool acts as a great big metaphor- Skyler is determined, even if only vaguely, not to accept Walt's criminal lifestyle. Not sharing his hubris; she can see what he can't; it inevitably ends only in death. Which is how I'm sure the season will end for Walt. Skyler realises she's powerless, her threats don't work after an almighty and extraordinary row between her and, well, Heisenberg. But she can wait, for the cancer. And outlive him. Compromised and helpless, this is her only option. This is intense stuff.

Skyler is right about the danger, but she's wrong to think there's any escape from the meth business. You leave it only by death. Dangers abound. Hank is doing sterling work at the DEA, making connections that will lead him, I'm sure, closer to Heisengerg,,, and he's getting promoted. Much will come of this, I'm sure. But for now it's fascinating to see the interplay between Walt and an unsuspecting Hank.

Then there's Lydia, the plotting psychopath, who is trying to get out of the meth business and whom Mike wants to kill because of it. There's a lot going on here, and so much tension. I'm not sure if the implied time bomb at the end is real or metaphorical, but it's the perfect ending either way. This is televisual perfection, as ever.

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem (2007)

 "That's crazy. The government doesn't lie to people!"

This is a terrible film. It stinks. And let me be quite clear about this: this is not one of those B movies that aren't very good but we can have a good laugh about, enjoying the silliness. No; this is unwatchable.

It's actually fascinating how on Earth a film this bad can be made. The plot is confusing and, indeed, confused; the visual storytelling fails along with the script. We don't care about the characters. Actors like Sam Trammell, so good in True Blood, are perfectly decent in other stuff but pants here. The whole thing is incoherent. Even the lighting is rubbish; unclear, and contributing to the fundamental failure to tell the story here. We just aren't told, diegetically, what on Earth is going on. I needed to look at a synopsis to learn that the plot is based around a "Predalien", a Predator-Xenomorph hybrid, being hunted by a Predator with the humans as collateral damage.

The concept for the film is even pretty decent, with all this happening to one small Colorado town. This could, with competent direction and script, have been a decent film. Sadly, we get neither. This is shockingly bad. It's a film about an Alien-Predator hybrid on the loose... and it's boring.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

 "Do you always try to stop trespassers by hanging yourself?"

Wow. This is the first of Wes Craven's films not involving Freddy Krueger that I've ever seen, and it's extraordinary. It's one of the seminal slasher films of the '70s, the decade that truly explored the genre creatively before the following decade dissolved into cliche, but it's more than that. It's the progenitor (as far as I can tell) of the trope of the inbred, cannibalistic family in the wild, very flyover parts of the USA. Although, rather diplomatically, the state in question is not named. There is, perhaps, a debt to Tobe Hooper's Texas Chain Saw Massacre, but this is easily the superior film.

And there's a lot going on here; the father of this twisted family is himself the son of a kindly old man to whom we are introduced at the start. This film articulates a profoundly conservative anxiety, and one particular to those of the World War Two generation towards their baby boomer progeny, with their long hair and drugs and free sex and loud music.

There is hope, though. Ruby may be savage, but she's not completely evil. We younger generations, though depraved, may not be entirely beyond redemption, however smelly we may be.

I'll not be surprised if none of this subtext, which may be entirely from my rather pretentious imagination, was in Wes Craven's mind as he wrote and directed this film, doomed to be underappreciated by the mere fact of its genre.

This is a very human, very real, very likeable and very conservative American family, in love with the twin vices of guns and religion. The characterisation is strong, which really matters in the slasher genre. The direction is superlative. If it wasn't for Nightmare on Elm Street, I'd call this a masterpiece.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

 "I do like his cereal, though. I'll give him that,"

This film is delightfully metatextual throughout, as only an animated film can be. I stopped reading comics circa 1993, despite being a Marvel fanatic for the preceding decades: I have no idea who Miles Morales is. Yet I thoroughly enjoyed his starring role here as a fresher alternative to Peter Parker who shows that Spider-Man doesn't have to be white, but can absolutely fulfil the spirit of Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, much as the latter of those two late geniuses had some very dodgy politics. 

We have an ingenious plot, with an interdimesional thingummy allowing for lots of alternative Spider-Men, inclusing a future Peter Parker to replace the blond, dead one of Miles Motrales' world. But we also have an anime girl with a robot; a noir Spider-Man straight from the '30s pulps played by Nicolas Cage; Spider-Gwen, a character I've heard of but have no idea whether this represents her; and.. Spider-Ham. Forbush Man, eat your heart out. We Marvel geeks have the mother of all Easter Eggs.

Ok, this isn't the greatest Marvel film. It's a bit of metatextual fun, despite the perfect balance between pathos and humour. It has a female Doc Ock. It has, deliberately and perfectly, a grossly oversized Green Goblin and Kingpin. It has a killer revelation involving the Prowler, played by the exemplary Mahershala Ali, whose performance in Luke Cage I have recently been marvelling at, no pun intended.

This is a bit of fun. But it's a very clever bit of fun, with much metatextual glory. I loved it.

Luke Cage: Blowin' Up the Spot

 "Who the Hell is Luke Cage?"

... And suddenly, the status quo is gone. Cottonmouth is shockingly dead, with the actual season big bad being either Mariah, Shades or both. Luke is on the run, crrudely but effectively framed for Cottonmouth's murder, but his innocence will help him: any scrutiny threatens to expose his status as a fugitive.

Oh, and he's been shot- and hurt, by a special bullet fired by Stryker, or Diamondback... and is shot once again at the end. He and Stryker clearly have a history; he once wronged Stryker and was framed as a result. Yet more is to be revealed. And, through it all, Luke never stops being decent, upstanding and honourable. No wonder Claire sticks with him through thick and thin, unlike Misty, who has her doubts and makes some very serious mistakes, losing Claire's respect in the process. That's a nice touch; a characyer we like proves to have flaws and nuance.

The status quo has utterly changed, and it's shocking to see. Luke is desperate. Stryker, Mariah and Shades all seem to have linked plans. I don't generally enjoy stories of framing and injustice, but this is fresh and exciting.

Breaking Bad: Hazard Pay

 "Just because you shot Jesse James doesn't make you Jesse James."

This is, perhaps, a quiet episode, one which has time to breathe and time for character development. Hence we have Skyler's breakdown, unsurprising after recent events, and Walt's inspired explanation to Marie, a brilliant scene. We have Walt and Jesse actually having a friendly conversation about Andrea, and Jesse is shocked to see Walt treat him with absolute trust and respect in how to handle it.

What makres the episode fun and fascinating in equal measure, though, is the premise: this is how one sets up a meth lab. We see Walt, Jesse and Mike- with assistance from Saul- inspecting potential front businesses before Walt hits upon a possible solution. Yet we also have a fascinating clash of the alpha males as Mike schools Walt on the realities of "business", of the many necessary underlings who need to take a cut, of the need to buy silence, of reality.

I strongly suspect, once things get harder, that Walt will cut corners, not do things Mike's way and show honour amongst thieves, and that may be his downfall in a final season which must surely end with his death. Walt, as the quote makes clear, is not Gus, after all. But I speculate.

This is an unusual change of pace, still bloody good telly but not in the usual way.

Why Didn't They Ask Evans?: Episode Three

 "Well, this is a pickle."

"Just a bit."

In the week where Ncuti Gatwa was announced as the new Doctor Who (he'll be great; Sex Education shows he has charisma as well as serious acting chops in both comedy and tragedy, of which Aristotle would have approved. Say no more.), I have to say that the winderful and very sexy Lucy Boyton as the delightfully clever and delectable Lady Frankie is basically the Doctor, thirty years earlier. Also, every man loves a girl who is posh and witty.

Anyway, much as modern editing is less clear in terms of storytelling than earlier decades, this episode of a well-helmed serial from Hugh Laurie himself manages to be clever and well-helmed, putting its two leads in peril and following through a devilishly clever conundrum. The happy wedding at the end is earned.

This is, it must be said, gentre television. But it is, on the whole, well done, and Lucy Boynton is a revelation. This isn't great telly, but it's bloody good.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

 "Also, this is Texas..."

Meh. This film  is a bit rubbish, Yes, it has Linda Hamilton and Arnie in it. Yes, they're both good. But the plot, co-written by no less than David S.Goyer, is just a selection of Terminator greatest hits.

Yes, there's a mildly satirical comment about automation. Yes, there's a very pointed comment about Trump's barbaric immkgration policy. In fact, the script is not bad, with decent characterisation of a bitter Sarah Connor, a redeemed "Carl", and a budding hero in Dani, the real stae. It's also nice for an American film to show a positive depiction of Mexico.

And yet..Linda Hamilton and Arnie are good.Natalia Reyes is a revelation. But the plot- yet another future Skynet to be foiled, is tired and repetitive. Plus, although it's not necessarily the fault of this film in isolation,  I'm really getting sick and tired of every film in this series since the second one- in fact, every one not directed by James Cameron- being decanonised with every passing film, despite all but one of them being pretty decent

It becomes clear from early on that this film feels tired, derivative and not clever enough to justify a retread. Yes, the action scenes are ok, but the whole thing, despite the occasional attempt at jokes, is so bloody humourless. The direction is technically ok, drspite the excessive CGI, but lacks either wit or seriousness. This is, despite a decent, ill-aserved script, far from a decent film.

Arnie is holding up well, though.

Led Zeppelin- IV (1971)

This was the first Zep album I ever heard, back in my mid-90s teen heyday. Inevitably, perhaps; this is the most famous album, and has Stairway to Heaven on it. That's obviously a sublime track, building up and up in a truly epic way. Yet there's so much more to this album than that, from The Battle of Evermore to its true highlight, When the Levee Breaks, which to my ears is right up there with Kashmir as Jimmy Page's masterpiece.

And the band is, lets face it, about Page, with John Bonham and John Paul Jones. Robert Plant is a decent enough singer but in a style which, well, has dated somewhat. It's also true that a hell of a lot of what the band did, far more understood now than it was at the time, could fairly be described as white boys plundering the musical heritage of the Mississippi Delta Blues.

Yet there's far more to them than that, and even at their bluesiest- see When the Levee Breaks- Page manages to develop those influences into something incredible. And, in a case of conventional opinion sometimes actually being right, this is probably their best album.

Why Didn't They Ask Evans?- Episode Two

 "We have to have blood. Blood is of the essence."

I havew no idea wha's going on, butb I'm loving this. This is Agatha Christie done right- Bob fumbling after the truth, Frankie being rather more successful but in sexy outfits to boot- with a compelling mystery that seem to become less and less clear even as Hugh Laurie reveals himself as the dreaded and much heralded shrink whom everyone fears. This is all very between-the-wars and Freudian with its body horror fears of electric shock treatment. This is not what one expects of Christie.

This is superbly shot, acted, written, The confusions is palpable. It's a bug, not a feature. There seems to be authorial criticism of shock treatment, which is a very good thing. The plot is fast-paced, intriguing, and mostly driven by the charismatic performance of Lucy Boynton as Frankie. The characters are fascinating, the mystery multi-faceted, the cliffhanger exciting.

I tentatively think the vicar might have done it…?

Luke Cage: Manifest

 "Sometimes, if you want justice, you have to get it yourself."

Wow. The middle episode, just after all seemed so neatly wrapped up last episode, and we have such a reversal of fortune here. Without Scarfe to testify, the evidence won't stick against Cottonmouth, so he's released. Misty's captain is replaced by a hardarse who suspects Misty, but especially Luke. Cottonmouth uses his knowledge of Luke's past to blackmail him. Suddenly, he has things to fear.

Yet he has two women with conflicting advice. Misty, despite her soft spot for him, wants him to top meddling and leave policing to the professionals. But then there's Claire, positively evangelical in urging him to use his power for good, and not to run from his demons. It's moving how he trusts Claire enough to tell her everything.

Mariah's political career is falling apart after last episode. Yet Shades, displeased with Cottonmouth on behalf of his boss, has plans for her. The flashbacks of the two of them are fascinating; we learn of Mariah's studying, the sexual abuse she suffered, and of the young Cottonmouth's piano playing proclivities, neglected in favour of the family business of crime... and we see his first murder, at his matriarch aunt's bidding, of his traitor uncle who was also sexually abusing Mariah.

And then the episode finishes with real force as Mariah, goaded by Cottonmouth about the sexual abuse, throws him through a window to his death... and there is Shades, to suggest blaming Luke, about whom the police are now suspicious. Ouch. And, if that isn't bad enough, we end up with someone (Diamondback?) shooting him with bullets that can actually hurt him.

Wow. It's an interesting structure to the season to seemingly end things and then do this. And it seems Cottonmouth is not the big bad after all. Who is Diamondback...?

This is compelling telly.

Breaking Bad: Madrigal

 "You are a time bomb. Tick, tick, ticking. And I have no intention of being around for the bomb."

I have the distinct impression that Mike may well be right about the above. Perhaps literally. I've no doubt Walt will not survive the season.

However, this is brilliantly executed telly drama. Mike, perhaps, after a few episodes of neglect, is the main character here. He's interrogated by Hank (now the golden boy again) and Steve Gomez, ho know that he, and eleven colleagues, hold the key to what Gus was up to, and if one should squeal...

We meet Lydia, whois nervous about this. She sets off to start killing all eleven but, as Mike confronts her and is about to kill her, she impresses him with her dignity,so she lives. I'm sure she's a chgaracter of which we'll learn more.

Walt and Jesse are certainly bonded closer than ever before. After a  clever little searching montage, Walt has Jesse find the poiuson cigarette... and has him as putty in his hands. For Walt is now mostly Heisenberg, Skyler is suffering depression after what she did to Ted, but Walt hugs her and consoles her that evil gets easier over time,

Shiver...

The theme here- Mike; Walt and Skyler;  Lydia... os that evil is often done for the sake of the children, a horrible truth.

This is, as if it needed saying, top telly.

The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins (1971)

 "You're a walking repository of carbohydrates."

I suppose I have to start that this is a rubbish film, made by pretty much the cream if British comedy writers and performers as of 1971, but it ends up as (mostly) utter pants. But they are, at least, interestingly soiled pants.

Yes, I shall indeed go into a corner and think about what I've just typed.

This is a portmanteau film, with a very crude (in all senses) cartoon linking device separating seven long comedy sketches of varying quaity and various styles. The use of the seven deadly sins as a basis for portmantaeu film is not an inherently bad idea; its just that most of the sketches are rubbish.

Yes, the Galton and Simpson sketch with the stand-off between two cars on a country road is good, but we've all seen it before and here we have it wheeled out again, this time with Ian Carmichael. There's also a sketch on gluttony, penned by Barry Cryer and Graham Chapman that's rather good. Sadly, beyond that we have rather a lot of sub-Benny Hill nonsense (hot take: Benny Hill wasn't cancelled in 1988 because of "political correctness", but because hisentire format was unfunny and crap) and Blakey from On the Buses as a tyrannical park warden. We even have Harry Secombe blacking up- badly- at one point. The social attitudes are certainly of another era.

Still, rubbish though it is, this film is a fascinating snapshot of the variable state of British comedy fifty years ago. We tend to remember the best stuff, but there was also a lot of dross out there.

Breaking Bad: Live Free or Die

 "What about that stuff you young guys wear on the end of your pricks? Speak now or forever speak soprano."

This is an interesting opener. On the surface, it's a matter of tying up loose ends following the eventful finale. Yet there's a sombre mood throughout, while Walt is very, very Heisenberg indeed. Could this final season see Walt become a true kingpin... but not ultimalely survive?

Fundanenttally, the main thrust of this is a heist. As a heist, it's fun, with the use of the magnets reminding us of Walt's cleverness and big science brain. The urgent mutual need to destroy the recordings from Gus' six quadrillion cameras is a suble way of getting Mike (he's back!) together with Walt and Jesse. Will he stay with them?

It's interesting that Skyler starts out being distant with Walt. She's now seen he's capable of killing, and he scares her. Yet, when she hears that Ted has woken up, and she visits him, appalled at the sight before her, he's clearly scared of her, and as much as begs for his life. Skyler, too, has dipped her hands in the blood, and this is a dramatic reminder. Unsurprisingly, this brings her and Walt together.

As for the opening scene, with Walt turning fifty-two and engaging in spy type stuff... I have no idea. But this is enthralling stuff.

The Machine Girl (2008)

 "Well? How do you like my drill bra?"

This  is, quite obviously, a B movie: the premise is a girl avenging her younger brother against murderous bullies linked to the Yakuza, lots of rather eccellent grand guignol gore happening, and, er, her arm being chopped off and replaced with a machine gun which she can somehow mentally control.As you do.

This is, essentially, B movie heaven. Our heroine, never changing from her sailor girl uniform for the benefit of you chaps who enjoy that sort of thing, is first introducedin a gloriouly gory vignette before we flash back twelve months and discover how sge came to be the avenging cyborg that she is.

One thing is certain: any decent owner of a garage would nbe able to equipo any girl with a machine gun for an arm. Drill bras are definitely a thing. Chainsaws really do work like that. 

The plot is gloroiusly and knowingly silly. This is the goriest film I've ever probably seen in my life, but the gore- with its many sprays of CGI blood- is cartoonish enough to amuse all but the most squeamish.

Then there's the awful CGI shurikens, but they're part of the charm, as are the Yakuza and ninjas. This very gory film is almost stereotypically Japanese. The gory revenge set pieces are brilliant.

If you don't love this film, you're wrong. That is all.

Death Race 2000 (1975)

 "I think you're one very large baked potato."

There's such a concept as "the greatest film ever". This film doesn't, it's fair to say, stand comparison with The Godfather. There is, however, a category of "greatest B movie ever". This film, at least of those I've seen, is the clear winner. It's cheap. It's bonkers. It's brilliant. It's produced (not directed) by Roger Corman.

I mean, it's Wacky Races where killing people gets you points in a dystopian future where this serves as both bread and circus. It's a delicious black comedy in a dictatorial America in 2000(!) where "Mr President" has a Winter Palace abroad and blames the French for everything, as in Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four. The violence is hilarious, as is the not too serious documentary style. There's a moment where Joe kills a race official, and suddenly they're fair game.

David Carradine is superb, entirely embracing the fim's camp aesthetic. Sylvester Stallone, pre-Rocky, is, well Sylvester Stallone. Between them, they carry the film, although it's sad the superb Simone Griffeth never did much else.

It really is Wacky Races with more skulduggery and more gore ('70s style), but the dry, deadpan humour is delicious. It's very much of its time- one of the racers is a Nazi!-but it's gloriously dark, gloriously violent, and gloriously funny. 

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

 "The're going to kill you, and then dissect you. In that order."

This is, perhaps, a mainly predictable sequel in which another human astronaut- Brent- arrives on the tail of Taylor and discovers the same society in a slightly more ecomomical manner. It seems, at first as though we're getting a rerun of the first, but with a B-movie actor (James Franciscus, of the splendid Valley of Gwangi) instead of an A-list one- although Charlton actually has a significant role here.

Yet ultimately, as the apres invade the Forbidden Zone, after a nice bit of gorilla vs chimpanzee conflict, we learn more, as it now seems the Zone is inhabited by telepathic humans (I love how we don't hear their voices as they interrogate Brent, but his responses are carefully worded so we can follow...) who feel very futuristic and worship a nuclear bomb.This is all delightfully twisted, especially the extended fifty megaton version of "All Things Bright and Beautiful", culminating firstly in all of them removing their suspiciously convincing masks to show their ravaged faces, then a scuffle, then sudden armageddon, which makes me rather interested in how come we shall be getting several more sequels. It's all delightfully bonkers.

The underground bomb worshippers were a definite influence on The Face of Evil, fellow Doctor Who fans. And we get no fewer than two former foes of Adam West's Batman in Maurice Evans and Victor Buono. The latter plays a character calls "Fat Man." Although Don Pedro Colley plays a character called "Negro"which is... yeah, 1970 was a different time. Fortunately.

Breaking Bad: Face Off

 "All I can say is... if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them."

Wow. That's how you do a finale. This is the perfect showdown- tense, clever, beautifully shot (with Vince Gilligan himself writing and directing)- and with a magnificent climax.

This whole season has been Walt vs Gus, life or death. Here we reach resolution, helped my absolutely superlative performances from Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, Giancarlo Esposito and Mark Margolis, who utters not a word, as ever, but conveys so much.

The various twists and turns of the plot are a delight, but ultimately Walt succeeds in having Gus killed... and the scene of his calm, collected, horrific death is extraordinary. So, of course, is the final revelation that little Brock was poisoned, not with ricin, but by Walt. Like Gus, Walt is now not above risking the life of a child. How far he has fallen.

This is not a Skyler episode, but her hands, too, are dipped inexorably in the blood. At the end, on hearing of Gus' death, she asks "Was it you?" and is told that "I won". She gets the rather obvious subtext loud and clear.

Ultimately, though, this is a big step, but one that makes sense, in the extraordinary evolution of Walt from mild-mannered, dorky chemistry teacher to a kind of drug Corleone. Simply sublime.

And the title? Nice pun, but my God, that's dark.

Breaking Bad: End Times

 "There will be an appropriate response..."

The landscape in Breaking Bad, showcasing the severely expansive vistas of New Mexico, have always brought about thoughts of a Western. Well, it's high noon. This is a showdown. The tension is unbearable before we even start, as Walt allows Skyler (who is starting to realise the fuller implications of what she's got herself into), Walt Jr and the baby to escape to protective custody with Hank and Maria. But a man's got to do what a man's got to do. So Walt holes up at home with that gun from a few episodes ago. Cranston is, of course, sublime throughout.

But so are Paul and Esposito, as Gus continues to manipulate Jesse, perhaps with too much transparency by now, paralleled by Hank manipulating Steve Gomez into a raid on the laundry... that seemingly accomplishes nothing. The umpteen dimensional chess continues, even as the stakes rise.

The tension rises, helped by some extraordinary directorial technique: I see Vince Gilligan directed this himself. And then suddenly the tension implodes, as we slowly, along with Jesse, absorb the news that Brock, the son of Jesse's erstwhile girlfriend, has been poisoned with ricin. That ricin. And we're so shocked at this point that we almost forget how exquisite is the plotting here.

Things speed up. Jesse tells his girlfriend (how will he explain it?) that it's ricin. And, in a scene that oozes superlative acting and direction from every pore, he visits Walt, blaming him and about to kill him. Only with Walt's gentle coaxing does it dawn on him that it's Gus who has the motive- manipulating Jesse, the one man stopping him from killing Walt, into doing his work for him- and the form, having killed children in the past.

Walt and Jesse are united, at last, against Gus. Yet Walt's intricate assassination attempt fails. Gus seems almost supernatural in his aloof, non-macho yet alpha male invulnerability.

I can't wait until the next one. My only regret is the fear that I will never again see television as good as this.

Breaking Bad: Crawl Space

 "This man needs help!"

"This man pays my salary..."

The walls are closing in. Walt has alienated both Gus and Jesse, he's in an awkward position with Hank, and Gus is now recovered from his poisoning, getting all avuncular with Jesse and in quietly vindictive mood as we see with his cruel goading of Tio Salamanca, whose children and grandchildren are now all dead. That's what happens when you mess with Gus. Jesse may be brave in insisting Walt not be killed, and he actually has some leverage, but it's all looking pretty ominous.

Skyler has her own problems, although of a much less immediate nature: Ted still won't pay off the IRS, he's in full denial mode, and Skyler is desperate in parallel with Walt, conspiring with Saul to get Ted roughed up. She's stepping, incrementally, further and further into criminality, just as her husband did. And this time, with grim comedy, she has blood on her hands as Ted is accidentally killed. Ouch.

Walt may manage to deter Hank through increasing desperation, and is lucky to arouse suspicion. But it's only a matter of time until Hank checks out the laundry. 

So finally we come to a denouement: a hooded Walt kidnapped and sent to face a visibly angry Gus in the desert. He's offered freedom and a clean break at the cost of giving up meth for good, and he could take it; with the car wash, his family is probably secure. Yet his defiant pride makes him refuse the offer, and so his family is doomed. The intricate plotting reaches a moment of true sublimity when a desperate Walt, hoping to give his family a new life, can't do so because Skyler used the money for Ted. Bryan Cranston gives a performance here which is absolutely top tier. The man is one of the greats.

The walls are closing in. Two episodes to go. This is televisual perfection.

Why Didn't They Ask Evans?- Episode One

 "Do you have any balls?"

This is an interesting concept for what is the first original BritBox series I've blogged or, indeed, watched. Directed by Hugh Laurie, it looks amazing, with some very gorgeous direction of the Denbighshire coast. I like also how it immediately diagnoses and addresses the main problem wth Agatha Christie (look, no Poirot!) in her snobbery. This is addressed directly in making it clear that Frankie (Lady Frances) clearly cares not a lot about the relative inferiority of the clever but struggling vicar's son (Bob) she fancies. Yes, Bob himself is no horny handed son of toil, but the wider question is nicely addressed by the character of Dr Jones, a Welshman of very ordinary origins who os neveryheless treated as intelligent, wise, and very much to be respected.

This is an intriguing mystery, based on the intriguing mystery of a man falling from a Denbighshire cliff with the intriguing words "Why didn't they  ask Evans? with some intriguing items in his office. It's also an exploration of the seemingly wonderful Frankie- beautiful, incredibly witty, which we men find VERY sexy, and determinedly unsnobbish.

The mystery is intriguing. But so is the nuanced father/son relationship between Bob and his well-meaning vicar father Richard. So is the delightful romance between the lovely Frankie, more innocent than her wit implies, than him. I'm very intrigued, and this is tantalising stuff.

Inspector Morse: The Ghost in the Machine

 "You'll never get on if you can't master your subjunctives!"

This is, if I recall correctly, only the second episode of Inspector Morse, beginning its third series, not to be adapted from a novel by Colin Dexter- although it's based on his idea- and thus to be a script developed directly for television.

It shows.This episode is not particularly atypical, but it is the finest so far. It is, admittedly, helped by a dazzlingly charismatic performance by the sublime Patricia Hodge as (spoilers!) a very human murderer who hides behind aristocratic iciness. It's an episode with a pleasingly intricate plot and- always important, and what the likes of Agatha Christie neglect- excellent characterisation. Unlike Christie, both Colin Dexter and Morse himself were not born with silver spoons in their mouths, as many ordinary RP native speakers are not, and Morse's contempt for the aristocracy, I'm sure, reflects that of Dexter. And the irony of his snobbery- particularly foregrounded here- of Lewis' Geordie origins, whereas he is, of course from a fine part of the world. Not like them Mackems who, I'm told, are oiks.

The twists and turns are splendid. So are Clifford Rose and Patsy Byrne. But Patricia Hodge is truly extraordinary in what is the finest Morse yet.

Luke Cage: Suckas Need Bodyguards

 "Bugger off!"

This is, I must hasten to point out, a splendidly clever and entertaining episode in its own right,  but it's surprising in how suddenly it seems to tie up the first half of the season and offer what looks like an ending of sorts, with Cottonmouth arrested on the strength of Scarfe's detailed notes of his work for Cottonmouth and the full scale of the police corruption, now exposed and destroyed. The subplots of Cottonmouth's increasing desperation reach their climax, their nemesis here.

Also in serious triuble, both from her dodgy cousin's arrest and from a rather gleefully well-executed media ambush. It seems the baddies are defeated. Except... early in the episode, Maria suggests to Cottonmouth various ways to kill or hurt Luke. I suspect this will have consequences.

Luke's powers, too, have become very visible, at least locally. This, too, will have consequences. And there is much musing over this. From Trish (remember her, from Jessica Jones?) supporting him on the radio to the more determined suppirt of Claire, Luke has his friends. 

Yet there's another emotional heart of this episode; Scarfe's confession and death. His last few scenes may be mostly action, but he redeems himself by destroying Cottonmouth. But poor Misty loses her mentor. She's a decent person while he's a despicable human being who is directly responsible for his son's death by keeping a gun in his house. 

We end with... an ending. or do we? I'm calling it: Cottonmouth will in some way use Luke's fugitive past against him. This is good telly.

Poirot: The Dream

 "I am too understanding towards my employees!"

I may have been somewhat ambivalent towards this series- despite some solid acting and well-developed characters for a whodunit series- the scripts have been somewhat variable in quality, and I suspect that Agatha Christie's detective story talents lend themselves more to a longer format than the short stories upon which these stories are based. I shall, one day, return to Poirot.

Ot's pleasing, though, for the series to finish upon such a high. I love how the creative introduction to Farleys Foods via the nostalgia hit of British Pathe leads to a succession of scenes showing us how Benedict Farley is an old Victorian industrialist bastard who sneers at unions and is rude as hell. His thick glasses and muttonchops, surely an affectation in the much more modern 1935, mark him out as the pantomime villain he is, even sacking his daughter's lover for being too non-U.

The murder mystery is playfully clever, with Joely Richardson's character being almost metatextual in how she declares herself to Poirot to be so obviously guilty that she must surely be the red herring. I love, also, how Poirot has a comical moment of crisis with the Belguan sleuth equivalent of writer's block and the comical B plot with Miss Lemon's typewriter.

When I return tom Poirot, let's have more like this... but longer episodes, please. Until then, adieu.

Breaking Bad: Salud

 "I had to spank you..."

Wow. Yet again we see how this extraordinary season fits together like clockwork as we follow on from the Gus flashbacks from a few episodes ago and see that pool again, this tim ithout the yellow-tinted camerawork to tell us non-diegetically that we're looking at the past. Plot threads develop, and fascinatingly so, but for once the feud between Gus and Walt must yield to a much older feud of Gus'.

There's so much cleverness in how this is written, scripted, shown and played. A simple sub-plot about Walt missing Walt Jr's birthday becmes the catalyst for so much more, as Walt has to pretend it was a gambling relapse and experiences his son's tender concern... and accidentally calls him Jesse, something which is bound to be referred to again.

But the core of all this is Bryan Cranston's extraordinary monologue about his own childhood memories of his late father, who died of Huntingdon's Disease when he was six. It's an incredible bit of acting, followed in turn by Walt Jr's impression of how his own father has seemed over the last year.

There's also Skyler's plan to save Ted from the IRS- and herself and Walt from prison, of course- in a sharp example of how her plot threads have changed over the last season or so as she's fully embraced criminality, at least in its white collar form. The fictional "bequest" from an "aunt" in Luxembourg is to solve that debt problem... and he's spending it on other things! It's a fascinating sub-plot, especially as it shows how the power has shifted between them.

And power, of course, shifts south of the border too, as Gus serves cold his revenge on Don Eladio in an immaculately planned assassination in which an extraordinarily unflappable Gus takes a calculated yet dangerous risk. There is an air of menace. There is violence. There is Jesse proving himself in a shootout after Mike is wounded. And the sublime Giancarlo Esposito gives us what must surely be the most elegant vomiting scene in television history.

Breaking Bad: Bug

 "A guy this clean has got to be dirty..."

This entire season, as I've said more than once before, is something of a multi-dmensional chess game between Gus and Walt. There's a lot going on, you have to pay attention... yet the narrative is superbly done. And Gus is clearly winning.

All is not well with Gus as he is, seemingly, under siege by the rival gang. But literally everything with this is seen from Jesse's subjective point of view and we're left to question whether events are happening quite as he perceives them. This is a theme throughout the episode. Skyler, for example, sees the car wash becoming profitable and sees a possibility of Walt being able to give up his "other" job. She doesn't see the reality: Walt has two possible trajectories, taking over from Gus or death, and it's squeaky bum time.

Ted is back, and he's under investigation by the fraud people from the US equivalent of HMRC, who seem scarily powerful. Yet Skyler, cleverly, puts on a performance and makes the accounting dodginess look like incompetence rather than fraud, saving him from prison... and herself from dangerously prying eyes.

Then there's Hank's car tracker, which has its own point of view which is equally subject to manipulation, except at the end where Walt knows exactly where Jesse was the previous night and that he failed, yet again, to kill Gus, putting Walt in peril. Yet it's all so cleverly orchestrated by Gus- perhaps more of it than we realise- to divide and conquer yet again. And this time, it seems, for good.

I'm loving this season. Breaking Bad gets better and better.

Doctor Who: Legend of the Sea Devils

 "Good, love it when there's not enough time."

Well, that was... perfectly fine. Yes, I'm damning with faint praise a bit here, but this is a genuinely engaging swashbuckling romp which will hopefully have appealled to the kids, which is no bad thing and indeed rather important. I'm the first to recognise that the sort of Who liked by fortysomething geeks like myself is not necessarily the family-friendly stuff that is necessary for its survival. It's a central paraxox of Doctor Who. Nevertheless, it was ever thus, and the programme has had periods of great success, far more so than now. I ought to not that Little Miss Llamastrangler is seven, perhaps not quite the target age, and Doctor Who just doesn't grab her.

Still, this is a pleasing little romp, although it certainly doesn't aspire to any great degree of depth. The pirate/sci-fi plot is well done, and the humour is relatively good, as are the performances. It's nice to see Doctor Who set in historical China with a largely Chinese cast and a Chinese director. The Sea Devils look cool and work well. There's no real explanation as to why the main Sea Devil baddie is behaving as he is, or what his story is, but that isn't necessarily a major problem, although it's something a better writer would have deftly handles without too much exposition.It's all very high concept, with a Sarlacc-style sea serpent (alas, no Myrka!) and the Sea Devils travelling around in a pimped-up pirate ship because of, er, reasons. The rule of cool tends to trump narrative logic here, but that's generally fine in Doctor Who up to a point, and said point isn't really overstepped here.

What doesn't quite work so well is the character stuff. It's nice and heartwarming to see Dan beginning to reconnect with Di, but the heartfelt romanctic scene between the Doctor and Yas falls flat. Yes, the Doctor can live forever, barring accidents, while Yas has a normal human lifespan. This isn't new or original, and we're even reminded within the dialogue that the Doctor has been married in the past. The actors do their best, but the scene just doesn't have the emotional weight than it should, and that's entirely due to the writing.

I genuinely quite liked it, though. And the trailer looks somewhat exciting.

The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, by Laurence Sterne

 I can honestly say, English graduate that I am, that I’ve never read a novel quite like this before. I’m familiar with the broad course of English literature but I must confess that there is something of a gap in my knowledge from roughly the plays of the Restoration up to Jane Austen. I have, in short, much neglected the eighteenth century novel.

I do not suppose for a moment that this magnificently bonkers text is in any way typical of its century. Yet the wonder is that such delightful weirdness should be possible at all. A mere half century later, the novel as an art form would be hedged about with all sorts of conventions in terms of plot, narrative, character, the whole lot. Yet here we have neither a beginning, middle, nor an end. We have a self-confessed unreliable narrator who cheerfully fails to deliver on what is promised by the title. We have no plot, no real structure, and characters who in their complexity defy description, much as real people do.

The whole thing is extremely silly, and full of the sort of metatextual fun- although we should not be anachronistic and call it postmodernism- that would be verboten a few decades hence.

Today, the novel is fun, certainly, but also dense with allusions and so not an easy read despite how enjoyable it is. But this is a pleasant and exhilarating taste of a century much earthier and less po-faced than the one which followed it. I enjoyed reading this immensely.

The World Is Not Enough (1999)

 "There's no point in living of you can't feel alive."

This is the finest Brosnan Bond film so far. I was unimpressed with GoldenEye; Tomorrow Never Dies was better; this is a superb film that channels the best of Bond.

It's all very late '90s, of course. Q is about to retire, and his replacement, the fittingly amusing R, played by a sprighly John Cleese, a mrere sixty years old, describes the latest Bond supercar as having "six cupholders". Amongst the globetrotting to Bilbao, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan and Istanbul is a superb set piece boat chase through London, including the Millennium Dome. And, of course, Miss Moneyponey says of a cigar that "I know exactly where to put that."

There's only one decade where that line makes sense.Still, let us note tht Bill Clinton was an abusive wanker, and Kenneth Starr was the same by proxy. May they both suffer lifelong impotence.

There's an innocence to this world pf post Cold War, End of History hubris, where there are no significant hostile countries and where threats of tyranny or nuclear armageddon, that feels charmingly dated. Yet the whole dynamic of Bomd and Elektra offers a surprisingly thoughtful take on sex and to wthe extent it can involve deceiving and using people.  

All this, and we have some splendid set pieces, a supern Bond villain in Robert Carlyle, a nice bit of misdirection where we think Elektra is the Bond girl but she turns out to be the big baddie, and one of the best theme tunes ever. This is, quetly, one of the very best Bonds.

Luke Cage: Just to Get a Rep

 "Don't you need a gun?"

"I am the gun!"

This is yet another superlative episode. On the surface it's about the deliciously bad yet nuanced Cottonmouth- a bit man, but much reduced after Luke's coup last episode- against Luke, who has almost no resources but is super-strong and invulnerable. And Luke, by now, is determined to fight the good fight, despite Misty's entreaties that vigilanteism will just cause more suffering in a debate we've seen many times here, and in both Daredevil and Jessica Jones. The climax has Luke following Cottonmouth's nasty, populist speech at Pop's memotial- denouncing "foreigners" and "arcane abilities"- with a veiled and uplifting denunciation of cottonmouth.

This round is to Luke, then. Especially as he successfully puts a stop to Cottonmouth trying to make Harlem's businesses suffer to get revenge on Luke. But it seems there's trouble ahead. Cottonmouth may be in financial trouble, but he's acquiring special bullets (an alien metal?) that may be able to hurt Luke. And Shades finally recognises Carl Lucas, and explains all to Cottonmouth: this could prove equally troublesome.

Yet it's not just about that; there are character moments aplenty. Cottonmouth has a genuine pride in refusing to sell his club because "No one black has ever done anything like this". He may be a bigot, like his cousin, but he is what he is for a reason. And there's lots of subtle social commentary on Harlem and what it means to be a black man in America.

There's also Claire, fresh from quitting at the hospital after the cover-up in the second season of Daredevil, arriving home and reminiscing on the strange things she's seen. It's clear she's going to do something.

I'm loving this. Excellent telly.

Poirot: The King of Clubs

 "Dear oh dear! Here we go again..."

This is one of those stories with a very Agatha Christie twist about the very murder itself. It feels well-executed. It's well-acted and well-produced. Yet, once again, despite all this plus the very palpable period richness, it somehow isn't anywhere close to being as satisfying as, say, the Granada Sherlock Holmes.

It's clever, yes, but in a very clockwork, very typical Agatha Christie way. I suppose, being from a ahort story as all this series is- suggesting this format is not deal- this is inevitable, and perhaps explains why I feel so lukewarm about a firt series that,objectively speaking, seems to have much to recommend it.

Neverthleless... it's a nice glimpse into the film industry in the 1930s,with more than usual period charm. There is, again, a nicely judged ense that Japp, although Poirot may run rings around him, is nevertheless a seasoned and competent professional who is, alas, not a genius.

It's an entertaining and well-made fifty minutes, I suppose. Buta certain spark is missing,

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

 

This is the first time, I think, that I’ve ever blogged a novel after seeing and indeed blogging the film adaptation, something I vaguely try to avoid. But I enjoyed this.

I’ve not read any twenty-first century science fiction novels, really, having focused more on the classics, so I’ve no idea whether cyberpunk is still a thing in our online age. This could certainly be a cyberpunk novel, but one written in an an age of MMORGs, augmented reality and a general blurring of real life and online life, which is a theme here. The Oasis is a refuge from an environmentally devastated corporate dystopia, but said dystopia is making incursions into said refuge.

What makes the novel such fun, though, is the quest for the egg and its twists and turns… alongside the pop culture references which appeal to this fortysomething geek.

This is a lightweight read, nothing particularly clever or groundbreaking. But it’s fun, and just being fun is no crime.

The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (1964)

 "The public love to live dangeroiusly, as long as there's no real danger in it..."

Not every Hammer horror is a classic sadly. This isn't an awful film, and it looks gorgeous in places- the spectacle of the treasures from the toom, upon which we linger during the openimng titles, are so dsumptuous and impressibve we can very much forgive the obvious matte painted backgrounds in the obviously studio-bound desert scenes early on.

This is, I suppose, a fairly traditional mummy romp. The mummy looks good. The plot is decent, although one has to raise an eye at Adam's seduction technique of saying that an intelligent woman should not be a bluestocking but should instead use her intelligence to run a household and not worry her pretty little head over all that academic learning. Well then.

There's a very vulgar American stereotype, an ncultured P.T. Barnum wannabe. There's the inevitable George Pastell as a native Egyptian red herring, a man who proves to have noble intentions, even if his unexpected heroic sacrifice is shrouded in embarrassing stereotyping. 

Yet what stops this film quite catching fire, I think, is partluy that the cast, while generally competent, does not quite have the charisma that one would expect from such a film. There are no real stars and, while it's not necessarily a bad thing to cast character actors as leads, here it doesn't quite work. Everyone is competent onscreen but there is no magnetic screen presence.

Then there's the slow pacing in what is an awfully padded fim for one so short, and the fact we don't even see the mummy until far toolate. That said, though, the film is well made,and George Pastell is superb even if the stereotyped part he plays is not.

Luke Cage: Step in the Arena

 "I'm kind of strong..."

Wow. I'm on record as saying, several times, that superhero origin stories often disappoint. I'm not familiar with the no doubt very '70s original from the comics, but this was superb. Perhaps we had something of a textbook prison drama with, as the esteemed Mr Zimmerman once put it, "an innocent man in a living hell", complete with overt Deep South racism, illicit gladiator fighting, an evil governor you love to hate, lots of exercise equipment, violence, and a doomed best friend. 

Thje sheer number of cliches is a strength here, though, not a weakness. Sometimes a cliche can provide a short cut to allow you to whiz through lots of events at pace, which happens here. This is absolutely in tune with the thoughtful mood of the series while also being absolutely a superhero origin story. Best of all, we get a glimpse of Luke dressed, briefly, in a version of his proper Power Man costume until he catches himself in a mirror and remarks that he looks like a "damn fool".

We even get links to Jessica Jones as Luke first meets Reva in flashback, although not all is revealed- we still know not how or why Carl Lucas was originally framed in the first place. But this is a massive and superb episode, framed by brief sequences in the present day as Luke helps Connie to escape from the rubble. 

Surely Misty has to be wondering what Luke's secret is?

Poirot: The Incredible Theft

 "No, no, no, Hastings! Women do not want to talk about Berninis and cubic thingummies!"

This episode was... actually pretty bloody good. By far the best yet.

It's a twist on that old detective story standby as epitomised by Conan Doyle's The Naval Treaty, where top secret plans are stolen.It's quite an interesting setting for such a story- the 's, with Hitler and Mussolini causing trouble and an arms race in full swing with the spectre of war looming while all this between-the-wars existence of country houses and passing the port carries on regardless.

The script and dialogue, far more than usually, are witty and fun, and the cleverness of the plot is fun in its own intricate way, not so much a whodunit as a devilishly clever howdunit with more than one big double bluff.  

All this, and the characterisation of Poirot, Hastings, Miss Lemon and Japp is in full swing by this point. I enjoyed this. At this rate I may even return to do the second series after this one. We'll see.

Breaking Bad: Hermanos

 "You're not in Chile any more...."

Breaking Bad doesn't have bad episodes. It doesn't really have good episodes either; just variations on excellent. This is one of the better variations, ans something new, something we've been waiting to see: a character study focusing on Gus. 

That's not to say it's all Gus, of course. We get to see a tenacious and rejuvenated Hank and a fascinatingly jittery and stressed out Walt who must surely be close to a breakdown with the need tourgently off Gus while Hank is prowling around... all while Jesse, under similar pressures, is as calm as a cucumber. We also learn that Jesse is giving money to his ex and her son but refusing to do the emotional labour of seeing them as that would mean having actual feelings.

Just as fascinatingly, Walt's panicking is preceded by a scene of him talking to another cancer patient and warning him against passive fatalism and letting go: Walt knows very well that he's mortal, but his life is bleeding well his for as long as he has it.

But, yes, Gus. Giancarlo Esposito owns this episode, with the slight variation of a blank facial expression being the key moment in several gripping scenes here. We get to see him handle a police interview with rehearsed aplomb, and how he can make Walt squirm with a look. And then, through a brief dreamlike shot of some water, we move towards an incredibly filmed, red and yellow tinted, glimpse into the past of the enigmatic Chilean. He's a compelling character, compellingly acted. And it's quite clear how, and why, he hates old Hector.

This is, yet again, extraordinary television.

Breaking Bad: Problem Dog

 "Let's ditch the thesaurus..."

I'm loving this season. It is, as I suspected, all a (mostly) very calm and totally zero sum comnpetition between Walt and Gus, only one of whom can survive. Gus is ultra-cool, calm and collected, a man of no drama and no sudden movres, for whom nothing is unplanned. Waly, or Heisenberg, may not be the polatr opposite but, well... he's capable of joyriding in a stupidly expensive car, setting it on fire ad having to pay $52,000 to but off the consequences.

There are other consequences too. One of them is a staggering income of millions per year, far more, as Skyler now realises, than one mere car wash could possibly launder. Still, I'm sure sjhe will find a clever solution. Skylrer, despite her protests, is proving to be quite adaptable,including in terms of her morals. With time to adjust, she's happy to accept a life of comfort from criminality, and also clearly finds Heisenberg sexier than Walt...

More immediately significant is Walt and Jesse plotting together to kill Gus. There's a clever, and well-earned, bit of misdirection here as we learn that Jesse, while he has his demons (the opening scene, with him shooting baddies in a video game but seeing one of the baddies turn into Gale, is dripping with significance for his character), is no fool, and realises exactly how he's being played by Mike and Gus. Yet the opportunity never quite presents itself.

Gus's trouble proves to come from another angle; there's a reason why Hank is doing so well lately as the gripping final scene has him doing his Poirot routine to his old DEA colleagues on why Gus is their man... and he has Gus' fingerprints as the coup de grace.

Yet it's Jesse's episode, and Aaron Paul is phenomenon. His final speech at the 12 step programme, angrily deconstructing the selfish amorality of the 12 step philosophy, is powerful. And he finally burns that bridge magnificently.

This is all very clever, and things are speeding up. Television doesn't get a lot better than this.

Aliens vs Predator (2004)

 "And they usecus like cattle. They're hosts for us to breed."

 I was poised to watch something su/btitlred and intellectual until, at the last moment, I decided to watch this. Parasite will come later. It's Saturday night, the little one is in bed, the missuys is gaming, and I have a bottle of Rioja.

You know what? This is goodf. Yes, I know: it centres on a mysterious pyramoid found in Antarctica from prehistorical times, showing clear influences from Aztec and Cambodian culturres as well sas Egyptian civilisation, which is orders of magnitude older, making nonsense of the history.

I don't give a shite.

This is, if we ignore the fact it ends in the middke of things and doesn't actually end, actually not a bad film at all. LKet's hooe, however, that we get a resolution.

The script is excellent until it suddenly stops without resolution. It's a plus that the cast abounds with resoected character actors rather than stars. Lance Henriksen shines as a tycoon who is actually acting in the interests of the greater good, if not entirely without the sae desire for glory that they all share. It's interesting that this should be set in comntemporary times and, er, recycle the general vibes from both Sgtargate and Erich von Daniken.

Notghing here is original, But it's actualkly fairly well written with a strong intitial hook, and the cast is superb. It may be exploitative tosh, but thus is avtually pretty decent.