Sunday 1 May 2022

The Machine Girl (2008)

 "Well? How do you like my drill bra?"

This  is, quite obviously, a B movie: the premise is a girl avenging her younger brother against murderous bullies linked to the Yakuza, lots of rather eccellent grand guignol gore happening, and, er, her arm being chopped off and replaced with a machine gun which she can somehow mentally control.As you do.

This is, essentially, B movie heaven. Our heroine, never changing from her sailor girl uniform for the benefit of you chaps who enjoy that sort of thing, is first introducedin a gloriouly gory vignette before we flash back twelve months and discover how sge came to be the avenging cyborg that she is.

One thing is certain: any decent owner of a garage would nbe able to equipo any girl with a machine gun for an arm. Drill bras are definitely a thing. Chainsaws really do work like that. 

The plot is gloroiusly and knowingly silly. This is the goriest film I've ever probably seen in my life, but the gore- with its many sprays of CGI blood- is cartoonish enough to amuse all but the most squeamish.

Then there's the awful CGI shurikens, but they're part of the charm, as are the Yakuza and ninjas. This very gory film is almost stereotypically Japanese. The gory revenge set pieces are brilliant.

If you don't love this film, you're wrong. That is all.

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