Bad Boys (1995)

 "It's ok to be a homosexual, Mike..."

Some evenings you just need a big dumb '90s action film. And some dumb '90s action films are not dumb at all, even when directed by Michael Bay, a director who certainly has his highs but equally has an awful lot of lows.

This, though, is one of his highs. To a large extent this is because of Martin Lawrence.Oh, Will Smith is superb and charismatic, as always: he may be a pretty boy but you can't deny his acting chops. He tends to pick damn good scripts too. But Martin Lawrence's Marcus is the real hero- the family man with real rsponsibilities rather than the shallow trust fund playboy.

The two of them are a magnificent double act, though, in a sparkling script which mixes comedy and sction superbly in a Miami which mixes high and low life, druggy villainy with domestic drudgery, but keeps the tone light and the action fun. The car chases alone are magnificent.

There's nothing whatsoever that's clever about this film. But it works. The heroes are both likrable and charismatic and the plot works, despite being just set piece after set piece. It's all very '90s in the best possible way- the first scene riffs on the fact that cars are now expected to have cupholders, while pagers abound. There's also the cars, the awful clothes, the awesome music, the direction.

The '90s were a golden age for big dumb action movies. This film epitomises why.

Men in Black II (2002)

"Anyone could take over the place with the right set of mammary glands..."

I was lukewarm about the first film. This is MUCH better, and a rare example of a sequel that's better, despite the cameo from that disgusting paedo Michael Jackson.The critics are wrong- this film sizzles in a way the first didn't. It's also one of the last Hollywood sequels to use Roman numerals. Grr.

It's the same director. Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones (in that order this time) are just as superb, and Rosario Dawson no less so. It looks much the same, although with much more CGI. Admittedly it benefits from a world already built.

Yet the comedy is much better written. Smith and Jones get to actually be the splendid comedy double act that they are. There's a sense of peril. The plot is much more coherent, and links hilariously to a simulated 1970s documentary with retro special effects.

The concepts are delicious- a locker containing an entire culture. A CGI Venus flytrap princess. A post office in rural Massachusetts staffed entirely by aliens just to provide a sinecure... and yes, it is indeed joyous to see Kay get his memory back.

This film is so very underrated. It deserves so much more love. It's just that you have to watch the first film first.

Suicide Squad (2016)

"We're bad guys. It's what we do."

Well, I don't care what the critics say. Oh, this film may not be right up there with the greatest- sorry, DC, Deadpool was better- but it was stylish, cool and great fun. Here's your warning: this is a positive review.

I never read the Suicide Squad comics; Batman aside (I certainly read a lot of that) I was more of a Marvel kid and tended to read specific DC titles for the writers- Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman and the like- rather than following titles religiously as I did with Marvel. So I'm not writing this as an uber fanboy and can't comment on how the film compares to the comic.

Also... I'm aware that this is the third film of the DC Universe and I haven't seen the others yet. I'll be approaching the DC films as I did the Marvels- obviously I won't watch any Batman II film before a Batman film or anything like that, but I won't be necessarily watching and blogging DC Universe films in strict order, within reason. Anyway...

This is an awesome film with awesome characters, most notably Deadshot and Harley Quinn, and both Will Smith and Margot Robbie are awesome. Jared Leto, too, was a nicely old-fashioned psychopathic Joker, rubbish though his emo band may be. I'm not sure, yet, about the brief glimpses I've had of Ben Affleck as Batman but, well, we'll see about that. 

This was a stylishly directed film, fast-paced and with plot beats perfectly laid out for maximum entertainment value as a blockbuster should. The use of its mainly rock soundtrack was awesome. And I'm genuinely puzzled at the critics' insistence on the supposedly uneven tone- I found no such thing.

Yes, perhaps this is a case of relatively low expectations making me like a film (It has that in common with Citizen Kane...) but I had a good night at the pictures tonight and I'm curious about the previous two DC Universe films. Bring it on.

Men in Black (1997)

"No, Elvis is not dead. He just went back home."

Here's a heretical opinion for you: Men in Black is a bit pants.

Yep. You read that right. It's pants. The central idea is good but the story is meh, the script isn't funny and the only reason it sort of works as a film is because Woll Smith can always lift a poor script into acceptability by doing his usual schtick. And I must admit that, while he always plays the same character film after film, he plays that character well, with charm and charisma.

Oh, and it's always good to see Rip Torn. But these sorts of things do not a good film make. I mean, yes, the underground base and hordes of men and women in black are incredibly cool, but the humour is all very basic slapstick and there are far too many annoyingly cute CGI aliens for me. Sorry. This is just a forgettable Hollywood comedy that pretty much got away with it purely through Will Smith's charm.

I, Robot (2004)

"Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot turn a canvas into a beautiful masterpiece?"

"Can you?"

This is the only film, as far as I know, that's been adapted from an Isaac Asimov story. And, Ironically, it's based on one of the few pieces of Asimov's SF writing that I've never read. I've read all the Foundation stuff, the Elijah Baley stuff, The Stars, Like Dust and sequels, and all of Asimov's work after 1980 that reads like very good Isaac Asimov fanfic. But I've never read any of the Susan Calvin robot stories. Oops. I suppose I'm not overly qualified to blog this film. Oh well.

While there's a low of fascinating philosophical stuff on both the Three Laws and the prospect of robots nicking people's jobs (very topical), this is fundamentally about the question of what if a robot was to exhibit sentience- what these days we call the Singularity. The theme is essentially the same as Short Circuit, but done with some intelligence.

The script is superb. I've no idea how faithful it is to the source material but it's certainly faithful in spirit to Asimov. Will Smith is excellent casting, charismatic and likeable as the technophobic, irreverent yet philosophical Spoon, while Bridget Moynahan is also excellent as the icy Susan Calvin, in personality almost a robot herself. Sonny the robot, incidentally, is voices by Joss Whedon favourite Alan Tudyk.

The design is also a triumph- the robots look great, and the world of 2035 is just futuristic enough to convince without being futuristic enough to alienate. It's a very contemporary view of the future, with none of the gleaming silver corridors of yore; instead we get a post-Cyberpunk, post-Blade Runner, lived-in future.

There are big action sequences, yes, but this film dares to be, at its heart, intimate and philosophical, and is all the better for that.