Andor: Jedha, Kyber, Erso

 "Do you ever sleep well?"

"No..."

So that's it. Andor is over, and we move immediately to Rogue One.

Much of the episode consists of the gradual process of the Rebellion's leaders coming to accept that the intelligence brought back by Kleya and Cassian is worth investigating, before setting up Cassian on the mission that will be followed up in Rogue One, with his inevitable death. Hence, as he walks to his ship, on what we know to be his final mission, we see that precognitive lady from a few episodes ago, looking at him...

There's more going on than that, though. There's the culture clash between the fierce independence that Luthen represented and the increasingly organised and disciplined rebellion that is developing... and Kleya will have to adapt from the former existence to the latter. At least she'll do so with Vel as a friend.

For the Empire, meanwhile... well, things have a long way to go until they fall apart. But the centre is, perhaps, just that little bit harder to hold. We see the disgraced Paratagaz, allowed to shoot himself instead of face arrest. And we see Dedra, in her prison cell, crying...

Then, finally, we see Bix, with... a baby. Surely not...?

The perfect way to end what turned out to be an even better season than the first. Andor is the best thing to come out of Star Wars for a long, long time.

Andor: Who Else Knows?

 "No. I want the names I don't know."

It's feeling more and more like Rogue One. Lots of Krennic. Cassian is with K-2SO, while the rebels are established on Yavin, becoming increasingly disciplined, leaving behind the late Luthen and the now-desperate Kleya. The episode, ending on a cliffhanger- Kleya is in hiding, so will Cassian or the Imperials get to her first? And yet, in the episode's standout scene, it becomes clear that Kleya realises she is doomed, and there's no place for her on Yavin. All that's left is to tell Cassian the vital information about the Death Star before she dies.

Meanwhile, there's the theme of whether or not to follow orders. The Rebels are increasingly disciplined and hierarchical, and Cassian and his accomplices are defying orders in rescuing Kleya... yet she genuinely does have vital information. Meanwhile, Dedra has been cutting corners and breaking rules, also in genuine pursuit of the Imperial cause. But fascism won't tolerate mavericks. I suspect her fate will not be good.

Not to forget, of course, that this is all a bloody tense thriller. The episode ends with Cassian and Kleya still on Coruscant, hunted, and just one episode to go...

Wish (2023)

 “It didn’t work. When does the magic happen?”

It’s the Chrimbo Limbo, it’s raining all day, time for a spontaneous cinema visit with Little Miss Llamastrangler. And… well, she enjoyed it. So did I, to be fair. The film is fine. It’s just… well, generic Disney.

Of course, the animation is superb, in a style that is at once classic and modern. The voice acting and facial animation are excellent. It’s just that the plot and the characters are… just ok. Next to other modern Disney animations, your Frozens, your Tangleds, it falls short. It’s a very linear plot, with characters that aren’t going to stand out next to previous Disney protagonists. And for a film meant to commemorate Disney’s centenary… well, that’s a problem.

Still, as I say, it’s fine. Little Miss Llamastrangler liked it. It’s perfectly serviceable and technically excellent. Chris Pine is a great baddie, and he gets the best song. This isn’t a dud. But it’s no classic, either.

Frozen II (2019)

“You can’t just follow me into fire.”

“Then don’t run into fire!”

This afternoon Mrs Llamastrangler and I visited our local cinema accompanied by a certain little girl who was in equal measures nervous and excited. Yes, Little Miss Llamastrangler is both four years old and completely obsessed with Disney princesses, and this seemed like a good choice for her first ever film at the cinema. And it was. She loved everything about it, which ultimately should probably outweigh the more qualified praise of her forty-two year old father.

A Disney film sequel that isn’t a casually tossed off straight-to-video release is a rarity, but this is the real deal, with cast and creative team reuniting to dig for more box office gold-successfully, I suspect. But, with no original fairytale source to draw upon, the pressure was on.

But I needn’t have worried. Yes, the early scenes seemed overly cosy and devoid of the conflict that all good drama needs, but the magical mystery of the nearby enchanted forest gives the film the injection of epic fairytale magic that it needs. And by the hilarious Olaf song about how everything make sense when you’re an adult, and you in know way feel like an older child who’s winging it, I was well and truly won over. The animation, the story, some nice characterisations and the humour all worked well, and one of the songs in particular had Little Miss Llamastrangler singing all the way home.

Is it as good as the original? Probably not. But it’s a solid, moving, funny film that probably deserves the success it’s pretty much certain to get, particularly as a more cynical cash-in would doubtless have done just as well.

Big Hero 6 (2014)

 "That is both disgusting and awesome..."

A somewhat unusual Marvel film here, but an inevitable consequence of said comics giant being swallowed by the greedy jaws of Disney. Awesome Stan Lee cameo aside, the obscure Marvel origins are minimised in order to make a Disney kids' film, and the result works well.

Hence there's no Silver Samurai and no Sunfire. The setting is not Japan but the amusingly named "San Francokyo". But it's all very Disney with the plot, characters and humour having all the kid-friendly charm we might expect. So Hiro inevitably becomes the, er, hero while Baymax becomes the kind of cute robot we might also expect from Disney. I don't know the source material myself (I Googled it; 1998 is well after my comics-reading days) but it adapts amazingly well to the modern house style of a Disney kids' film.

There are some awesome ideas, like the Microbots (wasn't there something like these in the Bob Budiansky Transformers comics in the '80s?), Alan Tudyk as the (spoilers) red herring and all the cool robotics. But it's a heartwarming tale of a boy coming to terms with grief at its, er, heart while at the same time, with the character of Professor Callaghan, showing us the terrible things that grief can make us do. Plus, of course, Hiro gets five, yes five, comedy superhero sidekicks (because that's what they are) with powers.

It's definitely a Disney kids' film which will appeal mainly to kids (not Little Miss Llamastrangler, sadly; it is apparently lacking in princesses), but is a charmingly different little superhero film.

Frozen (2013)

“The cold never bothered me anyway.”

Little Miss Llamastrangler turned four on Monday, and I didn’t get a chance to watch anything last night. So here’s a blog post about what is a) Little Miss Llamastrangler’s favourite film, although other Disney princesses have risen a lot lately in her estimation and b) a film I’ve seen a million sodding tunes and might as well vent about the fact while acknowledging that the film is bloody good for what it is and, indeed, a class A substance for little girls.

One gripe I have is the title- Frozen, not The Ice Queen, the name of the actual Hans Christian Andersen fairytale. This is rather similar to Disney’s version of Rapunzel being called Tangled; they seem to like their past participle form of verbs. I bet if they ever do a version of The Three Billy Goats Gruff they’ll call it Trolled.

But I must admit this is a solid tale, and positive in a lot of ways. They’re really trying to avoid the trope of pretty princesses being all passive in their dresses while princes, i.e. men, have all the agency. This is a love story between two sisters in which Elsa’s sisterly love, not the kiss of a prince, saves Anna from eternity as a frozen statue. Prince Hans, Anna’s initial love interest and indeed fiancé, turns out to be a blunder and a cad and she ends up with the thoroughly working class Kristoff. Best of all, we learn that “conceal, don’t feel” is not the way to go- a nice little metaphor for expressing your true sexual orientation, whatever it may be.

Also, Olaf is funny, and has the best song.

Frozen isn’t perfect- Anna and Elsa are still feminine stick insects who look thin and pretty- but it’s a positive variation on what went before, and I’ll grudgingly admit that it managed to entertain me. Well, the first fifty times at least.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

"I've got a bad feeling about..."

"Quiet!"

"What...?"

I really am a long way behind on the Star Wars films considering I claim to be a fan. This is actually the most recent I’ve seen and I only saw it last night; I really need to get a move on, especially as this is really quite superb.

Part of what makes this film so good is a combination of a fast, action-filled plot that never feels slow; this is a fast-paced action film in the Star Wars universe. But there’s something else, too; all the “main” Star Wars films up to this point, good and bad, and including the prequels that I will blog one day, may have been full of droids and starships but we’re essentially stories told within the fairytale mode. This is not.

Hence we have characters, with arcs, but they are secondary to the plot, and there’s a constant mood of grittiness and a focus on just enough downbeat realism. This is the Star Wars universe, and the theft of the Death Star plans is pretty damn pivotal, but these people lead hard lives based in the reality of resistance to tyranny, not myth. So Jyn- a very different part for Felicity Jones after playing Jane Hawking in The Theory of Everything- has had a harsh life, and her character arc is to reconcile with her father, who had once seemed a traitor, and lose her apolitical cynicism to risk everything in getting the Death Star plans to the Rebel Alliance. Wonderfully, the blatant weakness in the Death Star which allows one hit to destroy it is a deliberate piece of sabotage by her father Galen. But there’s never much hope; idealistic, good people can be heroes without being fairy tale heroes.

Take Cassian; a hero of the rebellion, certainly, but one characterised by the kinds of difficult moral choices that always define resistance against tyranny in a world that is real, not fairytale. When we first meet him he shouts a man in cold blood for the greater good. His mission to kill Galen is secret and cynical, although in the end he doesn’t shoot. And his big speech, where he agrees to join Jyn in her mission, is about how he and his mates have done terrible things, but all in the name of the empire.

We also have K-2SO, the Marvin the Paranoid Android of Star Wars, voices admirably by Alan Tudyk; the blind warrior monk Chirrut, a standout performance by Arizona Ahmed as Bodhi, and a few other heroes who undertake a deeply entertaining, exciting and doomed mission. This isn’t a fairytale and no one is getting out alive. A brilliant film.

Except... well, the CGI resurrection of the late Peter Cushing as Grand Moff Tarkin just looks weird, and is a troubling can of worms to open. And the CGI restoration of Carrie Fisher just looks wrong. But these troubling aspects can’t take away from the fact that Nuneaton’s own Gareth Edwards has given us something very special. The codder done good.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

"A few little tiny murders and everyone just freaks out!"

Yes, I know there are more comedy slasher films out there than you can shake a stick at, but this one has a particularly good twist: Tucker and Dale may look like psychopathic hillbilly killers who are out to slaughter the college kids visiting their patch of West Virginia one by one, but they're only trying to help. It's just that the kids keep randomly dying in increasingly bizarre ways.

Not only is it a good idea, but it works. It needs the precise plotting of an excellent farce combined with a load of slasher tropes to work well, and that's just what we get. We also get a mostly unknown but excellent cast, led by Alan Tudyk of Firefly and Dollhouse fame. There are so many memorable set pieces, not least where Tucker and Dale try to explain things to a sheriff before his random and unexpected demise, but for once I'll avoid spoilers as the film is obscure.

This is a brilliant film and well worth watching. It's on Netflix at the moment on the UK.

I, Robot (2004)

"Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot turn a canvas into a beautiful masterpiece?"

"Can you?"

This is the only film, as far as I know, that's been adapted from an Isaac Asimov story. And, Ironically, it's based on one of the few pieces of Asimov's SF writing that I've never read. I've read all the Foundation stuff, the Elijah Baley stuff, The Stars, Like Dust and sequels, and all of Asimov's work after 1980 that reads like very good Isaac Asimov fanfic. But I've never read any of the Susan Calvin robot stories. Oops. I suppose I'm not overly qualified to blog this film. Oh well.

While there's a low of fascinating philosophical stuff on both the Three Laws and the prospect of robots nicking people's jobs (very topical), this is fundamentally about the question of what if a robot was to exhibit sentience- what these days we call the Singularity. The theme is essentially the same as Short Circuit, but done with some intelligence.

The script is superb. I've no idea how faithful it is to the source material but it's certainly faithful in spirit to Asimov. Will Smith is excellent casting, charismatic and likeable as the technophobic, irreverent yet philosophical Spoon, while Bridget Moynahan is also excellent as the icy Susan Calvin, in personality almost a robot herself. Sonny the robot, incidentally, is voices by Joss Whedon favourite Alan Tudyk.

The design is also a triumph- the robots look great, and the world of 2035 is just futuristic enough to convince without being futuristic enough to alienate. It's a very contemporary view of the future, with none of the gleaming silver corridors of yore; instead we get a post-Cyberpunk, post-Blade Runner, lived-in future.

There are big action sequences, yes, but this film dares to be, at its heart, intimate and philosophical, and is all the better for that.

Dollhouse: Epitaph Two- Return

"I can bring back the world!"

What a very strange ending. Things are still a bit post-apocalyptic, and there are many individual tragedies (for me, the fact that Priya and Anthony split up us more heartbreaking than either Paul's or Topher's deaths), but Topher manages to unwipe everyone in the world. That's... A bit of a cheat. Yes, this means all of the Actives get reset, and "die", but still, the world is saved, however post-apocalyptic it still looks.

Not that it isn't a good episode character arc-wise, mind. It's just that the Miracle ending seems a bit if a cop out, however large a price is paid. It's impressive how well planned out it all is, though- this must all have been planned out from at least Epitaph One.

2020... Not too far in the future now, and not much further into the future back when this was made. And that's the point: this is the sort of science fiction that extrapolates from current trends and grounds the sci if concepts into present day reality.

Dollhouse has been an unashamedly political series, with a strongly pro-civil liberties and anti-corporate agenda. It may, as we discussed last time, end with a bit of a whimper in this episode, but that doesn't matter. It was magnificent, and this episode is just a postscript to last episode's brilliant season finale anyway.

We end with Echo, the worlds last Active, going to sleep in her old pod. And there's the temptation. I'm as guilty as anyone, writing this on a smartphone that can track my every movement, but our generation is choosing convenience over liberty, and we know it.

This is an extraordinary series. It knocks everything else Joss Whedon has done into a cocked hat. And that's saying a lot.

Dollhouse: A Love Supreme

"So... if she floats, she's a witch?"

If the situation wasn't volatile or chaotic enough already, throw in Alpha (Alan Tudyk is even better here, if such a thing is possible), stir, and wait for the excrement to hit the rotating device. This episode is full of shocks, from the pre-titles sequence onwards.

Adelle doesn't trust Echo so, naturally, she tortures her. Adelle is not winning any popularity tests at the moment with her sudden and apparent switch to the dark side and, indeed, in this episode Topher joins the growing conspiracy to bring down the Dollhouse. And the unwipeable Echo is quite a weapon.

Alpha is engaged in a killing spree aimed at Echo's former clients, as delightfully mad as ever. He's elusive, and toying with Adelle and her dysfunctional team. Adelle may be aware of the "cabal" arranged against her, but it's Alpha who's in charge here.

The ending, with Ballard apparently left brain dead after Alpha has tortured him, is a shock. Not only this, but Alpha is still at large. Things seem to be falling apart.

Dollhouse: Omega

“Why is there a tall, morally judgemental man in MY adjustment room?”

The episode starts out simple- Alpha and Echo go all Bonnie and Clyde. But it ends up far from that, with some big, big revelations about Doctor Saunders and some deep and fascinating philosophical meanderings on the very premise of the show. Basically, this episode is just as good as the last one and therefore right up there with the very best telly ever. What I’m saying is that this is a bit good.

This time we get to know Alpha. He believes himself to have transcended not only his former status as an active but also his original personality. He sees himself, Nietzsche- like, as a kind of superman. He has forty-eight different imprints while maintaining a sense of ‘self’. He is not, however, sane. We come to see, however, that Echo, in similar circumstances, maintains a sanity that he cannot. It’s not Alpha’s situation that makes him mad. It’s him.

It is Ballard who gets to the philosophical core of all this. What makes Alpha behave as he does, and what makes him different from Echo, is that he was a budding serial killer before he was found by the Dollhouse. Ballard’s point, opposed by everyone in the Dollhouse, is that Alpha’s original personality is the key. This seems very close to an argument over whether or not people have souls. This is some deep shit.

The other big thing about this episode is a certain bombshell about Doctor Saunders- she’s actually and active! And she knows it. BANG! We learn so much about her. As Whiskey, she was the number one active before Echo, until Alpha ruined it all for her by scarring her face and killing the original Doctor Saunders (an old bloke with grey hair) along with a shit ton of other people!

The ending of the episode is both dramatic and existential. Alpha resents his original personality for volunteering to go into the Dollhouse, and has erased it. Chillingly, he threatens Echo with the destruction of her original personality, which, depending on your philosophical view point, could be seen as the murder of Caroline. Echo is changed by her experience, revealing to Ballard that she has a new self-awareness and the ego, if not the memories, of Caroline.

The season seems to have ended, but there’s an episode still to go. What on earth is going to happen?

Dollhouse: Briar Rose

“I mean, don’t get me wrong- I heart my porn. But this…is cool!”

There are times, blogging several TV series at once, that things come close to being confused. This episode’s title reminds me of Grimm, while the fact that it is written by the excellent Jane Espenson reminds me of Buffy. But enough of lesser TV programmes. This episode of Dollhouse absolutely knocked me sideways! Before I say anything else… Alan Tudyk was great in Firefly. But here he is Sublime.

It’s typical of Dollhouse that really great ideas are used without them even being the main focus of the episode. Echo is imprinted with the personality of a disturbed and abused little girl, modified by Topher to reflect that little girl as a well-adjusted adult: the best possible outcome for her. Echo, equipped with this imprint, is able to act as the best possible counsellor to give the girl real hope and real chance. Unlike much of what we’ve seen so far, this is a genuinely good and heart-warming use of a doll. Such a pity that the moral basis of what the Dollhouse is doing is still just as dodgy.

Ballard is on fire! He finds the Dollhouse with such incredible speed that you wonder how the hell it took him so many episodes to do it! He knows where the building is, he has the original architect to guide him. What could possibly go wrong?! I mean, it’s not as though this Stephen Kepler dude could turn out to actually be A) Alpha, and B) completely doolally! Stephen Kepler may not be a real live person, but his dialogue is still amazing. I mean, look at that quote up there!

The ending is really quite exciting. Ballard finds Echo and has a big confrontation with DeWitt about ethics and that. Alpha scars Victor as he did to Doctor Saunders. And, of course, Alpha kidnaps Echo (after imprinting her with some weirdo) and buggers off with her. It’s all kicking off. Dollhouse is bloody great at the moment. I love it.

Serenity (2005)

“If anything happens to her, anything at all… I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.”

The world of Firefly has always been potentially very dark, but this darkness has been somewhat leavened by that Joss Whedon wit and the fact that the regulars have to survive the episode. Now, all bets are off. This film doesn’t have to worry about the next episode and the fact that cinema needs to be “bigger” pretty much guarantees that things are going to get very, very dark. And they do. And yet it’s all still leavened by that same old Joss Whedon wit.

Whedon has really pulled it out of the bag with this film. Yes, it’s a crying shame that the series was cut short and so many plot threads would not be allowed to develop, but this is a perfect end to the story against all odds. Whedon gives us a brilliant scripts and directs it with a real; sense of cinematic style- early on we get a long tracking shot through Serenity, showing us those familiar sets from a new and more cinematic perspective. We also get to see the ship do some cool stuff it’s never done before. I love the scene where the ship gracefully lands on its legs!

It’s hard to judge how accessible this would have been to people who hadn’t just watched Firefly, but the backstory seems to have been conveyed very well indeed, with the early scenes giving us much more detail on the history of Earth-That-Was and the settlement of this star system than we’ve seen before. “Dozens” of planets and “hundreds” of moons, it seems, were terraformed. Does the fact that Earth is spoken of as part of an inaccessible past imply that faster-than-light travel is not possible, and the journey was made over millennia?

The early scenes also introduce the whole River / Simon story for new viewers, and show us very clearly that the Alliance is not very nice. We’re introduced to Chiwetel Ejiofor’s Nameless Baddie, too, who is coolness incarnate, by means of a nicely metatextual 3-D recording of the necessary flashback. It seems that River was intended to become a kind of psychic weapon, but that the reason she’s being so relentlessly hunted is because of things she knows.

Everyone gets put through the wringer here, but no more than Mal, whose burden of responsibility has never seemed heavier. Nathan Fillion is extraordinary in showing us the sheer stress he’s under. Time has passed; Inara left the ship long ago, while Shepherd Book seems to have been living on a planet called Haven for a long, long time. Times are not good, and Mal is desperate for any job he can get, having to put up with clients who unilaterally change the terms of the deal after he and his friends have just risked their lives. As Zoe points out early on, his desperation is causing him to cut ethical corners that he wouldn’t have before: neither she nor we are pleased to see Mal abandon a local boy to the Reavers. Things are starting to fall apart, and the main symptom of this is the final falling-out between Mal and Simon.

The film is the classic mix of sparkling dialogue, great characterisation and non-stop action, from the initial bank robbery to the final battle. The pace is extraordinarily fast, but we get times for the characterisation to breathe and some very nice world-building stuff. But at the heart of all this is River, and the secret of Miranda. What they find on that world is horrible, a world of thirty million people who were subjected to a gas intended to pacify them (shades of Blake’s 7 series four?) which overshot and made them so apathetic that they let themselves die. Worse, 10% were affected the opposite way, and became Reavers. This is proof, if any, that the universe is a chaotic and unpredictable place and totalitarian acts never have the intended effects. Things fall apart, entropy increases, and the future is more Mad Max than 1984.

Our heroes, after much adversity and a cool fight between Mal and Nameless Baddie, finally succeed in broadcasting the truth, but at a cost: Book and Wash are both killed, and everyone is brought to a point where death seems inevitable until River’s superpowers save the day. Gina Torres is incredible in portraying Zoe’s anguish while she’s also keeping everyone alive through her military skill. The brief exchange between her and Mal towards the end (“Think she’ll hold together?”) is one of those little moments of Joss Whedon genius that I love so much. There’s also a happy ending, as Kaylee and Simon finally get to do something about all that sexual tension they’ve built up. I bet it was a bit of an anti-climax.

A fitting ending to the whole Firefly story, then, in spite of everything. Joss Whedon is God. The Buffy and Angel marathon starts, I think, on Tuesday…

Firefly: Objects in Space

“Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.”

“You live on a spaceship, dear.”

So that’s it. The end. It’s a very good episode, written and directed by Joss Whedon himself and taking a final look at all these characters we’ve grown to love but, as we expected, there just isn’t enough time to resolve anything, so it isn’t worth trying. This is no place to end but, given that Fox had dictated that it had to be, it was right to end on a slow, contemplative episode like this one.

We begin with a few last pleasing vignettes of the characters relaxing, seen through the eyes of River. At last, Simon and Kaylee are having fun together, their body language indicating that there may be hope for them as a couple. Jayne and Shepherd Book continue their surprisingly successful double act in the gym. Wash and Zoe are at it, and Inara is still leaving, something which will now not be resolved. Suddenly, though, we have a dream sequence; it’s Autumn, appropriately enough. And River is holding a gun.

Suddenly she appears dangerous. And once Kaylee mentions River’s past doings with a gun, we seem to have another witch-hunt, one which remains unresolved. We’re not told what Mal would have decided had fate not intervened, but I suspect River would have stayed.

And then, from nearby in the deep, deep space, by the poetic dance of spacewalking, comes Jubal Early, the latest in a long line of sadistic, misogynistic wankers. He’s an effective villain: intelligent, self-referential almost to the point of doing damage to the fourth wall, and in some ways the representative of the author. It’s an interesting glimpse into how Whedon sees himself in that role.

Early’s behaviour towards Kaylee- using the threat of rape and torture to frighten her- is utterly sickening and leaves us in no doubt as to the kind of man he is. In the circumstances, Simon’s calm, collected and dignified reaction to this monster probably shows him in the best light that we’ve yet seen.

We get one interesting comment from Early, though, concerning Book: “That ain’t a Shepherd.”

Early is brilliantly wrong-footed by River herself, who uses her psychological understanding of him to push his buttons and manipulate him. Pretending to have become one with Serenity itself, she enlists Kaylee and Mal in her plan. She has his measure, and genuinely creeps him out; the alternating shots of Early being outwardly calm and, at the same time, inwardly frightened, are superbly done.

The reveal- that she’s in his ship, and laughing with real, innocent joy that contrasts so much with his sadistic cruelty- is perfect. And her gambit- offering to go with him anyway as she isn’t wanted on board Serenity- is all too believable. Things are fine, though. After a brief hiccup, in which Simon gets himself shot (foreshadowed, of course, by Early’s comment about surgeons having to be shot before they can perform surgery!), the trap is sprung, and early is thrown into space. It’s River’s turn to graciously dance the spacewalk.

It’s a beautiful episode, and the series as a whole is just as beautiful, an unfinished symphony that never gave us a bad episode and reached such heights. I’ll miss these characters so much.

So, that’s it. I’ll be back on Saturday to wrap things up with Serenity, but before then I hope to do The Nightmare Man, a four part BBC sci-fi thriller from 1981, scripted by Robert Holmes and directed by Douglas Camfield. After that, it’s more Whedon as I plough through the entire Buffyverse, with regular film reviews for variety. That should take me at least eighteen months, although I’ll probably punctuate things with other short series every now and then.

Firefly: Heart of Gold

“So I trucked out to the border, learned to say ‘ain’t’, came to find work.”

Yes, this is another great episode, but we’ve come to expect that. But this is where it really hit me just how little time there is left; one episode and a movie in place of seasons worth of stuff. None of the character arcs or plot threads are going to play out properly, and this episode ends in a way to make this so very frustrating. Damn you, Fox.

The opening couldn’t be more Western, with a ranch being overrun with a bunch of guys in metaphorical black hats. I keep making tongue-in-cheek references to the fact that at these alien planets look just like Southern California, but the great thing is that it couldn’t be more appropriate.

This episode is basically a brothel under siege, plot-wise, but it’s a lot more than that. It’s about lawlessness in frontier communities and the ethics surrounding prostitution, and it’s great to see that the “whores” in this episode are presented as strong, admirable and hard-working. It’s appropriate that the first woman we see Mal get intimate with should be Nandy, the brothel owner, who’s just as strong, witty, and caring about those under her protection. In fact, she’s more or less a female version of Mal. She’s built this brothel from the ground up, and it’s her family. She’s not leaving.

In opposition to the prostitutes (I’m trying to think of a nicer word, but I can’t think of one!) is the extremely unpleasant Rans Burgess, whose cruel and sadistic misogyny is made all the worse by his hypocrisy; his revolting words to his underlings about “decency” and “family” are utterly contemptible. This episode seems to exhibit a healthy contempt for social conservatism, in fact; there’s a very nice mixture of feminist attitudes and a total rejection of Puritanism. Burgess places himself utterly beyond the pale as he speaks of women “knowing their place” and demands of his spy from the brothel that she “Get on your knees.” The sexual assault here is not so much subtext as just text.

It’s interesting that even Inara describes Nandy and her friends as “whores”, albeit without any judgement implied. This is the frontier, and they are not members of the guild. She and Nandy are friends, which makes it much harder for her to discover that Mal has slept with her. It’s shocking to see her crying her eyes out afterwards, especially as she has never, ever appeared other than elegant and dignified before. It’s clear that Mal means a lot to her, but she comes to a realisation here. Because the parallel between Mal and Nandy goes both ways, and Mal is as attached to his “family” as Nandy is to hers.

This episode isn’t all Mal and Inara, though. I love Kaylee’s cheerful declaration that “They’ve got boy whores. How thoughtful!” Shepherd Book once more turns out to have some suspiciously martial talents for a preacher. Plus, of course, Zoe wants to have a baby. Wash seems unpersuaded at this point. It would have been interesting to see this play out, but I suspect we won’t. The series is nearly out of time.

It’s the same with the ending; Inara, finally realising that her feeling for Mal cannot possibly go anywhere, decides to leave. What a shame that we probably won’t see how this was supposed to develop.

Firefly: The Message

“You are such a boob.”

Another good one, this, although not one to particularly stand out in such exalted company. There’s a nice twist, yet again, and once again it’s made clear what a fantastic cast and group of characters we have.

It seems there are still travelling shows in the far future, exhibiting “freakish” stuff. Also, there’s still awkwardness between Simon and Kaylee. Er, isn’t this going on a bit too long? I mean, I can be as awkward around girls I like as the next boy, but surely it can’t be that hard for Simon just to tell Kaylee that she’s lovely or pretty or cute or something when he’s pretty much invited to do so? I have no sympathy for him at all, and Kaylee is quite right, and also most amusing, to spend the rest of the episode hating him.

Anyway, the post has come. Jayne has got a rather fetching hat from Mummy, which is nice. I love the bit where he reads her letter aloud, stumbling over the words! Adam Baldwin is great, as ever.

But Mal and Zoe have a parcel which is far more McGuffin-y: the corpse of their old war buddy, Tracey. What is it with Firefly and blokes with girls’ names?

Another war flashback- oh goody; I love these. The whole vibe is very First World War, with trenches, shell shock and period helmets. Appropriate, then, on this day of the year. I seem to have been noticing the excellence of Gina Torres a lot lately, but she’s excellent here. She plays Zoe very differently, as a hard, gritty soldier, and we see how much she’s been changed by (relative) peace and married bliss. This scene, introducing Tracey as a bit of a useless but likeable twonk, is very funny indeed. Mal, of course, is the same as ever.

It’s rather touching how every one instantly drops everything to abide by Tracey’s recorded last wishes: Mal and Zoe out of loyalty and everyone else, even Jayne, by simple decency. And Inara is clearly putting herself to great inconvenience.

We get a quick scene to establish that a bunch of badass cops are coming after the ship and its corpse, and it’s clearly underlined just how sadistic and unpleasant they are. Still, anyone who wears a black leather trenchcoat must be up to no good, right?

There are some very nice scenes showing us everyone’s different reactions to death- Jayne likes to make himself feel alive, River is just weird, and Mal and Zoe get bladdered and share old war stories with Inara. Then, bang.

Tracey has clearly bitten off more than he can chew, and his story makes it clear that he’s in deep trouble, trouble from which perhaps he has no chance of recovering. He may not be dead, but even if he evades his pursuers he’s smuggling someone else’s organs, and is likely to be hunted forever. He’s a little boy in a man’s world, and he can’t possibly survive the episode.

Kaylee, on the rebound, takes a liking to him, which instantly tells us that he’ll betray her in a moment of weakness before he dies. And so he does. There are some exciting moments during the pursuit during the cops, but it’s ok; Shepherd Book has a brilliant plan which works perfectly. Tracey gets himself killed out of pure stupidity.

Firefly: Trash

“I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!”

Bloody Hell, another great episode. They just keep on coming, don’t they? This had everything: wit, excitement, great little character scenes- I’m seriously in danger of taking all this superlative excellence for granted.

The opening shot is, in hindsight, very clever indeed, as the situation is not at all as we think it is, and this one little scene rather cleverly shapes our expectations as to how the story is going to develop and makers us believe that Mal is in more trouble than, in fact, he is. It’s a great pre-titles sequence as a whole, though, and it’s fantastic to see Saffron again. Both Christina Hendricks and the character as written are cool, charismatic, hugely entertaining and, er, hot. I for one would stand absolutely no chance against her.

It’s a bit of an eye-opener that six whole months have passed since Our Mrs. Reynolds, but Saffron and Mal have great chemistry; I love the bit where she sticks her tongue out! Pretty much all of their scenes together are a joy.

Saffron is clever, too, though, and she has a plan. Normally, Mal wouldn’t touch this sort of thing with a bargepole but, as Inara rather forcefully points out (and there’s another case of great chemistry), it’s about time they had another big payday. So, exciting heist story it is.

Saffron’s plan is to steal an ancient artifact from “Earth-that-was”- a fascinating phrase. It’s clear that Earth is somehow forever in the past and out of reach. The artifact is owned by some rich bloke who lives on a floating island, which as a concept is such a frivolous use of energy as to be decadence itself! We get a nice bit of ok CGI as we see loads of islands floating above the sea of whatever planet this is, but it’s not all glamour; the very, very clever Kaylee has come up with a plan to “chuck it in the garbage.” (I didn’t know they used “chuck”, meaning to throw, in North America?) Everyone agrees to the plan- they really, really need the money- but with doubts. Gina Torres is absolutely superb in her facial acting during this scene, showing us the nuances in what Zoe is thinking and feeling without saying a word. But if that’s not enough, the punch makes her feelings very clear indeed…

We get the excitement of the heist, but the presence of Saffron guarantees constant comedy gold. The dialogue between Saffron and Hamer, and Mal’s reaction towards it, is hilarious; so far, 100% of non-regular male characters have been husbands of her’s!

The plan seems to be on the verge of success, though, and Mal seems to have Saffron sussed; she thought of Hamer with genuine affection, she only pulled this trick as a desperate last resort, and she feels terrible for betraying him. But, as Mal says, she’ll shake this off and carry on as she was. Starting now, as she immediately double crosses him. We’re back at the start, with a naked Mal sitting in the middle of an alien desert that looks uncannily like Southern California.

Except… there’s a twist. This was always expected, and Inara is waiting at the pick-up point with a gun. Interesting; this is the first time we’ve seen her taking part in any crime.

There’s a nice little scene near the end where Simon makes clear to Jayne that he knows exactly what happened a couple of episodes ago, but he chooses to ignore it. I like River’s reaction better, though; “Also, I can kill you with my brain.” What sort of super-powers will she eventually end up with?”

But we end as we began, with naked Mal. How could we not…?

Firefly: War Stories

“Preacher, don’t the Bible have some specific things to say about killing?”

“Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy about kneecaps.”

Here’s another arc episode, of sorts, although its centrepiece is a wonderful character piece looking at the triangle of Zoe, Wash, and Mal. It’s another good ‘un, with bags of wit, some cool action scenes and lots of Shepherd Book being mysterious.

We’re following directly on from last episode; Jayne is being uncharacteristically generous with his cut of the takings, and no one can understand why. The early minutes are great, with lots of little character moments- Kaylee and River running around like kids, Book being mysterious with Simon, and of course Jayne’s reaction to Inara’s female client (“I’ll be in my bunk!”).

But it all kicks off properly with a bit of an argument between Zoe and Wash over why she always agrees with the Captain. This is essentially because she and Mal have all those shared war stories, of course, and Wash as the husband feels emasculated by this. The upshot is that Wash insists on going with Mal to sell the medicines they stole last episode, instead of Zoe, and Zoe feels she has to go along with it. This is fascinating; I believe it’s the first time we’ve seen Mal not getting his way with a member of his crew, and we’ve seen him get his way in some pretty extreme situations. And yet it’s Zoe, his oldest friend and war comrade, and the one who calls him “Sir”, who is calling the shots here, and Mal just lets her.

This isn’t as good news for Wash as he initially thinks, though; he and Mal are quickly caught by Niska, and it’s not long before the torturing starts. Mal is brave and defiant, of course, but so is Wash, in spite of being completely unused to this sort of thing. The arguments between them about Zoe are hilarious, but of course Mal is just trying to take his friend’s mind off the horrible circumstances.

The crew, led by Zoe, soon discover what happened, and Zoe is soon off to Niska’s place to negotiate the release of her husband and her captain. Zoe is bloody competent all the way through this. It’s really thrown into sharp relief here how essential she is to the crew as the solid, shred, intelligent, no-nonsense first mate. Mal may be a genius, and a gentleman, but he’s a little erratic. Zoe is anything but.

Niska, being a right sadist, tells Zoe that the money is only enough for the return of one prisoner. Of course, she chooses her husband. Niska then shows how utterly horrible he is by cutting Mal’s ear off and giving it to her. What could possibly happen now other than the entire crew picking up some very big guns and rushing to the rescue?

And it really is the entire crew. Jayne clearly has no ill-feelings for Mal after the last episode. Shepherd Book is mysteriously good with guns for a preacher- and, in spite of that quote up at the top there, clearly shoots to kill. Fittingly, though, it’s Mal who gives Niska a good kicking , as Niska’s few underlings still standing are distracted by all the flying bullets.

Kaylee is very scared, and panics: a realistic reaction. Interestingly, it’s River who saves her, a crack shot with her eyes closed. This girl is developing an impressive array of powers. I suspect this is the reason for the government doing what they did top River- is she supposed to be some sort of super-soldier, like a telepathic, precognitive Captain America?

When the fighting’s over, things get funny again. I love Book’s comment on Simon’s shooting (“I was there, son. I’m fairly sure you haven’t shot anyone yet.”). And, of course, we end with “Take me, Sir. Take me hard.” I love this show.

Firefly: Ariel

“Next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.”

At last we get a proper, full-on arc episode. Great. I mean, the series obviously isn’t going to be hanging around long enough for anything to be developed properly (damn you, Fox!), but it’s nice to have something.

Shepherd Book isn’t in this one (was Ron Glass on holiday or summat?) and Inara barely features, but the smaller cast rather adds to the tension in what is basically an old fashioned heist. Simon makes a fantastic criminal mastermind, and I love his patient rote teaching of some stock medical phrases which, of course, turn out not to be needed at all. But this is, of course, about River, and his need to find out what’s wrong with her so he can help.

The eponymous planet of Ariel is one of the “inner planets”, and a much posher place than we usually get to see in Firefly. Mal makes it quite clear early on that he doesn’t feel particularly at home here, and not only because it’s crawling with Alliance authorities. The likes of Mal just don’t seem to fit into a place like this.

I wonder what the significance of the name might be? Judaeo-Christian / occult lore has Ariel as an archangel associated with healing, alchemy, Paradise Lost, John Dee and A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Beyond the obvious healing motif I’m not really clever or knowledgeable to get the references, but I’m certain they must be there. The episode is called Ariel, after all.

Anyway, the big shock comes when we find out that Jayne has arranged to sell out Simon and River to the Feds in return for a lot of money. We’re reminded that this amusing figure of fun is, actually, exactly as amoral and self-centred as he and everyone else keeps saying he is.

It’s interesting to see that Simon and Mal are actually getting on quite well these days, and seem to like and trust each other, however much they will never quite be able to shake off a certain awkwardness. Mal’s demands that River be confined to quarters after her unprovoked attack on Jayne are not unreasonable, and Simon doesn’t argue. He also shows what a fundamentally decent bloke he is by pausing to save a stranger’s life at a potentially dangerous moment. The crew of the Serenity have got themselves a bloody good doctor. We’re used to seeing Simon as a socially awkward, useless, fish out of water. Not here.

We learn something about River; her brain has been cut into, several times, as though to lobotomise her. Her amygdala (whatever that is) has been removed. But there’s no time for any more info as Jayne has to keep to his schedule and sell them out to the Alliance. Of course, he’s double-crossed, to the schadenfreude of the entire audience, I’m sure. Simon suspects nothing, to the very end, and is even grateful to him for his contribution to the escape. River knows, though, and in hindsight it becomes clear that’s why she attacked Jayne earlier. She’s becoming more than telepathic, showing random incidences of precognition as well.

At last we get a proper look at those strange besuited men, “two by two”, with “hands of blue”. It’s clear that, whatever was done to River, it’s top secret. All the Alliance soldiers are subjected to a horrifying Death By Nosebleed because they know too much.

The ending is very interesting indeed. Mal is well aware of what Jayne did, and he’s furious; this really, really offend his sense of honour; Simon is a member of his crew, and so under his protection. But Mal’s sense of honour and ethics certainly allows for killing, as we’ve seen many times. I suspect the only reason he allows Jayne to live is because he inadvertently lets Mal know he’s genuinely ashamed by asking him not to tell the others what happened. How will things develop between the two of them after this?