Trancers II (1991)

 "I don't want to have my brain vacuumed!"

I was going to watch some art house movie but, well, I was in the mood for a B movie.  And... well, what could be more B movie than not only a cheeky, er, "homage" to Terminator but a straight-to-video sequel to said "homage" that just so happens to be released in the same year as Terminator II?

This is the most gloriously trashy straight-to-video sequel of all time. Jack Deth is back: let there be much rejicing. Tim Thomerson may be visibly older but he still plays our gruff hero with the perfect deadpan campness. Indeed, all the relevant cast members return, which is impressive.

But best of all, we have the most splendidly bonkers timey-wimey love triangle of all time. Yes, Jack may have seen his wife Alice die in his arms at the hands of Trancers, causing his huge grudge against them. Yes, he may now be happy in the past with his new wife Lena... but oh. They plucked Alice from a day before her death and sent her backin time to find Jack, because of course they did.

Naturally, in no way is this played for real drama but as the utter bonkersness that it is, and I love it. Then we have Hap deciding to get drunk and play homeless baseball again. We have a massive fire engine. And the usual hi-jinks with Trancers in unexpected places and yes, the good old long second.

Basically, this film is trashy in the best possible way. And I'm so going to watch the next one.