The Vampire Lovers (1970)

 "They were all evil, and remain evil after death."

I've seen and blogged a previous adaptation of Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla in the form of Crypt of the Vampire but this, Hammer's version, is fascinatingly different, and not only in the fact that it stars, sort of, Peter Cushing as opposed to Christopher Lee. 

This film, like its predecessor, is a fairly faithful adaptation. yet it is fascinatingly different, and not only because of the greater emphasis on the lesbian attraction between Carmilla and Emma which looms large over the entire film. To begin with, there is no red herring, or at least not for the audience; the characters may suspect Kate O'Mara's governess, but we know Carnilla is a vampire from an early stage as we are made aware of an earlier victim. This is far less of a straight character drama and far more of a sensationalist horror grand guignol with sex and violence as the selling points... and it works. This is a significantly better film.

It helps that the cast is so superb. Ingrid Pitt and Cushing excel as ever, but they are ably supported by a very young Kate O'Mara ad an almost unrecognisable George Cole. The direction and production similarly recreate the familiar Mittel-European setting (this time rural Austra in the 1780s) with real aplomb.And yes, of course there's a tavern full of suspicious locals.

Yes, this is the start of '70s Hammer horror, using sex and sensation to sell in a way they'd never so explicitly done before. It has to be said, though, that it bloody well works.

The House That Dripped Blood (1971)

"The one with Be;a Lugosi, of course. Not this new Fellow.

Time for another of Amicus' splendid portmanteau films, I think, and a haunted house theme can't go wrong. Indeed it doesn't and, while this is perhaps not up there with the finest of Amicus' stuff, it is nevertheless a highly enjoyable film with a magnificent cast of British character actors.

A framing device having been devised with an inspector investigating the bizarre disappearance of the house's latest tenant, we jump into the first segment, and perhaps the best, as Denholm Elliott excels as a horror seemingly becoming obsessed with his latest murderous creation, seeing him anywhere. The twist is clever, and the mood effective.

We then have Peter Cushing and the ever-affable Joss Ackland in a less effective segment about a creepy waxworks, elevated by the extraordinary haunted performance of the recently bereaved Cushing. But what follows, with Nyree Dawn Porter and the great Christopher Lee, is a highly effective example of the trope of the creepily evil child.

The final segment stars Jon Pertwee, showing a delightful disinclination to vary the performance he was giving each week at the time in Doctor Who, but is enjoyably charismatic as the old school horror star who buys a cursed vampire cloak from the truly awesome Geoffrey Bayldon. Ingrid Pitt as an actual vampire just adds to the fun.

Nom not all the segments are equally good. But, like all of its ilk, this Amicus portmanteau horror is massively fun to watch.

The Wicker Man (1973)

“We’re a deeply religious people...”

 This is the second time I've seen this film, and the subtext truly grows with reviewing. The tale of Sergeant Howie (decent Scottish accent from Edwood Woodwood, says the Englishman), policeman, virgin and devout Christian who investigates a young girl’s disappearance on a Pagan island in the Highlands of Scotland that turns out to be a terrifying trap.

We all know the simple plot, I’m sure; what matters is how it unfolds until the iconic ending, with Howie slowly finding how very different this island is. But this is also a film about, to use a contemporary phrase, the “permissive society”; Howie stands for 1950s Christian values and is horrified by the free love and young people’s music he finds everywhere. Interestingly, the film presents neither side with much positivity- Howie may be a prig, and the islanders a lot more fun, but there’s a very dark practice at the heart of their beliefs.

Interest to declare; I’m an atheist, but one with no particular beef with Christianity, itself a huge range of beliefs. But I’m happy to see this film not falling into the lazy thinking that Christianity is bad and vaguely remembered Paganism was much cuddlier and more tolerant; that’s a very shaky notion. Pagans may have sometimes (not always) been more relaxed about sex, and less keen to police the beliefs of others, but there were some very dark rituals and, sadly unaddressed here, just as much institutional sexism. None of which means that a singing, naked Britt Ella d is not, er, pleasant to behold.

Christopher Lee’s role in this, his favourite of his own films, is surprisingly modest but essential for the backstory, and his charismatic presence is central to everything. But Edward Woodward gives a less likeable but superbly convincing performance which makes him the true hero of the film. One of this country’s greatest cinematic achievements, then, and certainly a film which rewards repeated viewings.

Countess Dracula (1971)

"Countess Dracula! Countess Dracula!"

Meh. I like me a good Hammer, but this is the most forgettable sort of early '70s stuff. Doing a film based on the notorious Elizabeth Bathory is not a bad idea in theory but the plot is perfunctory, the script tired and Ingrid Pitt, wonderful though she is, doesn't have the charisma to carry a film otherwise full of nonentities, excepting the ever-fab Peter Jeffrey in a minor role and some delightful scenery chewing from Maurice Denham. Overall, it's a Hammer worth skipping. Even the title is crowbarred in.

Any interesting points? Well, the costumes look good, and no doubt are accurate for early 17th century Hungary. The history is a bit off: Elizabeth Bathory was active as a serial killer between 1590 and 1610 (a much longer period!!!) but the film, with Turks encroaching on Vienna, seems to be set in the 1680s. And, of course, whereas the real Bathory may not have committed the murders to stay young at all, in the film she is actually rejuvenated. But beyond that and an incongruous bit of bawdiness with boobies in the tavern (the real world has pubs; cinematic Central Europe has "taverns") there's not much to say about it.

Next!

Doctor Who: Warriors of the Deep

 

Part One

“It’s lethal to marine and reptile life.”

My initial impressions are, firstly, “Johnny Byrne again! Nooo!” and, secondly, that I can actually remember when this first went out on its initial transmission. I was six. I distinctly remember rushing home from swimming lessons in time for episode two.

The early scenes give us a very white looking underwater base which, for all the criticisms of its being overlit, is actually quite effective; its harsh industrial quality gives the story loads of atmosphere just as well or better than the dark corridors of Earthshock. We also meet the Silurians early on- they’re back! Their glowing lights and metallic voices are an annoyingly pointless change from their original appearance, but they certainly both look and sound good. I just wish they didn’t keep dumping us with expository dialogue too obviously there for the viewers’ benefit: “For hundreds of years, our Sea Devil brothers have remained entombed.”

The TARDIS still looks new and shiny, Turlough is still a bit sneaky and the Doctor still seems to doubt he’s really all that brave. The TARDIS computer screens seem to have progressed from a BBC Micro to an Acorn Electron, too. Oh, and Tegan has changed her clothes again. Neither of the other two has bothered though.

There’s lots of intrigue on the seabase, with Maddox the nervous young bloke and obvious skulduggery underfoot with Solow (Ingrid Pitt!) and Nilson. It’s 2084, there’s a cold war underway and it’s all shaping up to be a good old-fashioned base under siege, except with a base commander who seems an unusually sensible chap. He’s a bit hard-boiled, perhaps, but not excessively so considering Eric Saward’s still script editor. I know this story’s not much liked, but I’m rather enjoying this.

Crikey, the Doctor points out the hexachromite gas. I’m sure there must be a reason for that scene. I wonder what it is?

The cliffhanger’s a bit naff (although the portrayal of Turlough as still a bit unheroic is a nice touch) but at least the Doctor acquits himself well in a fight, almost to Pertwee standards, in fact. I’ve been watching these stories with BlueLionSven’s “putz factor” in mind, and usually I tend to find it pretty high, but this story for the first time seems to show Davison’s Doctor with pretty much no more putz qualities than his predecessors had. Is this going to be part of a trend?

Part Two

“Oh dear. It’s the Myrka.”

This is still pretty good, And actually quite exciting. Plus we finally get to see the Sea Devils again, who look so much cooler in their new samurai outfits than those crappy old string vests. Apparently this Icthar bloke is the sole surviving member of some Silurian “Triad” which we’ve never heard of before. Oh, and I love the darker, green-tinged lighting in the Silurians’ base, which makes a nice contrast from the equally harsh whiteness of the humans’ domain.

There’s some suspicion of the TARDISeers on behalf of the occupants of the Seabase, but this is understandable given their political situation and is never allowed to become annoying, playing out as it does entirely through action. As soon as the TARDISeers come to become interrogated, the TARDIS is immediately found to corroborate their story, getting the potentially tiresome suspicions out of the way in a plausible manner so the actual base under siege stuff can actually start. That’s actually very good writing. From Johnny Byrne. Who’d have thunk it?

The Silurians attack, and the Doctor recaps his stuff from back when he was Jon Pertwee about the Silurians being an “honourable” race who only want to “live in peace”. Except that in this story they’re, er, not. Of which more in episode four.

We finish with the Myrka, which is indeed probably the worst monster in all of Doctor Who ever. But I’m still not going to let one bad monster spoil my enjoyment of a story which I’m finding surprisingly good.

Part Three

“The Myrka has been destroyed!”

An exciting episode of pretty much non-stop action begins with Turlough pulling a gun on the seabase personnel to save the Doctor and Tegan. This is a good moment for him and good development of the character, an example of how his default cowardly nature can be overridden by his basic decency. There’s also a nice moment for the commander afterwards, who responds pretty calmly by simply getting Turlough to help defend the bulkhead he’s endangered. No commander of a base under siege would have been so reasonable back in Season Five!

Solow’s death by karate kick provides a bit of comic relief, reminding me of how serious this story is. I think it works without humour just this once, though. The Davison era so far has been a bit humour-lite for my taste, but for this story at least the seriousness works.

Part Four

“You’ll get no help from me, Silurian!”

Turlough prepares to escape by means of, er, a ventilation shaft. Naturally. Clichés- helping Doctor Who stories out of plot difficulties since 1963.

So, the Doctor’s apparently met Icthar before. It’s clearly supposed to have been during Doctor Who and the Silurians, as dialogue indicates the Silurians / Sea Devils have only awoken twice before, but this can’t be the Old Silurian, as he died, and it can’t be the Young Silurian as his personality doesn’t fit. I can only assume there was another Silurian the Doctor only ever encountered off-screen.

It’s a nice touch once again for Turlough that he wants to just return to the TARDIS but is shamed into helping. This kind of genuine struggle of conscience is making him a very interesting character.

The Silurians are by now taking about outright genocide of humanity, speaking of a “final solution”. Yet the Doctor is still upset at the thought of killing them, and behaving as though there were some sort of moral equivalence between them and the humans. But this is utter pants. Unlike previous stories the Silurians want to cause the genocide of all humanity, while the humans merely want to eliminate those specific Silurians proposing to annihilate them, none of whom are civilians. Seems pretty clear-cut to me.

Still, this is a well-paced and exciting final episode, and the ending is effective, with the TARDISeers surrounded by corpses and the Doctor opining that “There should have been another way.”

Surprisingly good, a solid 4/5. An exciting, action-packed base under siege which stands up surprisingly well to its Troughton era predecessors.

Doctor Who: The Time Monster

Part One

“Look, I know I’m exceedingly dim, but would you mind explaining?”

What a very odd beginning. The dream sequence, that is, not the stock footage, obviously. Quite a good beginning too, and not a bad first episode. Of course, UNIT is by now far too cosy an organisation to be taken as seriously as it was earlier this season, and the comedy feminism has dated quite as much as Stuart Hyde’s entire appearance. There’s no way at this point I can avoid quoting the line “May God bless the good ship Women’s Lib and all who sail in her.” Mind you, Stuart’s studenty pseudo-Marxism has dated just as much: “That’s all right, Prof- you go and enjoy your nosh. Leave it to the toiling masses.”

There’s a worrying undertone of sameyness and watering down of the established format though- yet another example of the Master posing under an obvious assumed name, too much silliness (souped up Bessie) and the Brigadier continuing his metamorphosis into a figure of fun.



Part Two

“You know, it’s a long time since I came across a hypnotic subject who turned out to be as good as you are. It’s just like old times.”

The above line, with its postmodern references to the by now established clichés of the programme in its present format, is just one of many examples right through the story. And this is simultaneously a big part of what makes this story both genuinely fun to watch and deeply problematic- the show can only really afford to have that sort of fun with the fourth wall if the core elements are solid. And here they clearly aren’t- the plot is just a series of set pieces and the overall tone is that of a Hanna Barbera cartoon- the Master’s telephone trick on Benton is a case in point.



Part Three

“Get on with it, you seventeenth century poltroons!”

Atlantis, eh? Perhaps this time it’ll be a case of third time lucky. Certainly, one promising sign in that our 500 year old king seems to have the great Ozzy Osbourne as an advisor. And it’s most convenient for the viewer that the king should contrive to explain how he’s 537 years old at this exact point.

We’ve now reached the point where thinking about the plot is a very bad idea, and the Doctor’s tea leaves-powered wine bottle machine is too silly for words. But there’s more- apparently the Doctor and the Master used to make these at school to spoil each others’ time experiments. Such an evocative addition to the show’s mythology.

Just when things can’t get any sillier we get UNIT versus a mediaeval knight, UNIT versus some roundheads and UNIT versus a V2. This is technically an awful episode, as bad as things have ever got, and yet it still manages to entertain, mainly with the humorous dialogue- some intended, some probably not, and the infectious sense of fun.



Part Four

“I’m sorry about your coccyx too, Miss Grant.”


It’s a nice touch that, just before the bomb apparently hits Yates, the Brig calls him “Mike”. But Yates has survived, if not entirely unharmed, as witnessed by a standard Pertwee era comedy yokel. We get more funny lines here to counterpoint the general shoddiness of everything: “Is this a private fight or can anyone join in?”; “I’m Stuart Hyde- registered, card-carrying, paid-up coward.”

We get to see the inside of both the Master’s TARDIS and the Doctor’s, and they both seem to be using the same, rather groovy, never-before-seen desktop theme. I wonder what it’s called. I also notice Jon Pertwee doesn’t know how to pronounce “nanosecond”. Still, this Time Ram thing sounds a cool idea, and I like Jo’s bravery in wanting to accompany the Doctor in full knowledge of the dangers. Awful though it is, this story actually treats Jo’s character rather well.

We get an odd paradox with the Doctor’s TARDIS and the Master’s both ending up inside each other. That’s brilliant. And weird. No doubt we’ll never see anything like this again…

There’s plenty more silliness, of course, Benton as a baby, the Master once again dispensing with the fourth wall as he turns down the Doctor’s sound because he’s “a bore”…



Part Five

“How about ‘Curses! Foiled again’?”

At last, stuff is happening on Atlantis. And we get Ingrid Pitt! Ooh! I was surprised at the scenes of the Master flirting with Galleia, mind- it seems to amount to rather less than fan mythology would have us believe.



Part Six

“It was the daisyest daisy I’d ever seen.”

Oh dear, it’s the Minotaur, and the Doctor’s using his red cape! We get one very nice scene in this episode though- the Doctor reveals a hitherto unknown Zen Buddhist, Barry Letts-influenced side as he recounts a tale of a hermit who lived on a mountain when he was a “little boy”. The rest of it’s some very clichéd Doctor / Master stuff though, very Hanna Barbera indeed. And with the final reveal of a naked Benton we get the most Hanna Barbera ending yet seen.




Well, technically I suppose that was the worst story yet. The plot, the tone, the treatment of the format and the regulars- all were utterly risible, and clearly pitched at the level of a Saturday morning cartoon. And yet, awful as it is, it still manages to be fun to watch. So much so that I haven’t got the heart to give it less than 2/5.

Season Nine as a whole scores 3.6/5, slightly better than Season Eight but still below every other season so far.




Rankings

The Massacre 5/5
The War Games 5/5
Spearhead From Space 5/5
Fury from the Deep 5/5
The Evil of the Daleks 5/5
The Myth Makers 5/5
The Aztecs 5/5
The Tomb of the Cybermen 5/5
Marco Polo 5/5
The Crusade 5/5
Day of the Daleks 5/5
Inferno 5/5
The Highlanders 5/5
The Daleks’ Master Plan 5/5
The Time Meddler 5/5
The Invasion 5/5
The Power of the Daleks 5/5
The Mind Robber 5/5
The Web of Fear 5/5
The Rescue 5/5
The Reign of Terror 5/5
An Unearthly Child 5/5
Colony in Space 5/5
The Macra Terror 5/5
The Savages 5/5
Mission to the Unknown 5/5
The Ambassadors of Death 4/5
Doctor Who and the Silurians 4/5
The Curse of Peladon 4/5
The Gunfighters 4/5
The Claws of Axos 4/5
The Tenth Planet 4/5
The Moonbase 4/5
The Dalek Invasion of Earth 4/5
The Romans 4/5
Terror of the Autons 4/5
The Krotons 4/5
The Ice Warriors 4/5
The War Machines 4/5
The Smugglers 4/5
The Abominable Snowmen 4/5
The Sea Devils 4/5
Planet of Giants 4/5
The Daleks 3/5
The Seeds of Death 3/5
The Enemy of the World 3/5
Galaxy Four 3/5
The Space Museum 3/5
The Mutants 3/5
The Chase 3/5
The Space Pirates 3/5
The Sensorites 3/5
The Edge of Destruction 2/5
The Dæmons 2/5
The Time Monster 2/5
The Mind of Evil 2/5
The Faceless Ones 2/5
The Ark 2/5
The Wheel in Space 2/5
The Dominators 2/5
The Web Planet 1/5
The Keys of Marinus 1/5
The Celestial Toymaker 1/5
The Underwater Menace 1/5

Season 5: 4/5
Season 7: 4/5
Season 3: 3.9/5
Season 4: 3.889/5
Season 6: 3.857/5
Season 2: 3.778/5
Season 1: 3.625/5
Season 9: 3.6/5
Season 8: 3.4/5