The Batman (2022)

 "It's all connected."

While the later films didn't quite manage to maintain the excellence, one would perhaps naturally assume that Christopher Nolan had perfected the Batman film back in 2005 with Batman Begins. Yet it would seem not. We have a new contender.

So why is this film so good? Wisely, it skips the origin story and, notably, focuses on a very realistic portrayal of Gotham, with zero supernatural or sci-fi elements. The film is superbly and stylistically shot. Robert Pattinson is perfect as Bruce Wayne, while Zoe Kravitz and Jeffrey Wright also excel.

The use of villains is also excellent. This is a brilliant way of using the Riddler, while Penguin is toned down to become a mere mob boss, no doubt to appear again. The character of Selina Kyle is very well written indeed.

Yet this is at root a crime film very much reminiscent of the Saw franchise and not only in its visual style. Not necessarily in terms of the tiresomely excessive gore but the elements of those films that were actually good- the dark, almost hopeless feeling that violent, corruption and despair are ever-present, and the complex, multi-layered mystery, something which works supremely well here and makes everything feel very fresh indeed.

Yet what works even better is the way the Riddler is reinvented in the vein of Jigsaw, as a crusader for truth. Even better, there's a thread of Gotham having dark secrets in its past, which is used to comment wryly on the extremely harmful conspiracy theory online culture that exists today. It makes the point, rightly, that conspiracy theories are not mere harmless fun.

I hope this film is the first of several. It certainly seems to be setting things up for the future. Overall, though, this film is a triumph..

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)

“Well, the first symptom would be flames out of his anus...”

 Ok, I admit it- I'm finding it difficult to watch Eddie Redmayne in anything without thinking of The Theory of Everything, and Mrs Llamastrangler concurs. But that's no reflection on him as an actor, and his standout performance here simultaneously reminds me of Matt Smith in Doctor Who and something entirely new. Not only that, but this is a splendidly entertaining film full of magical beasts, imaginative concepts and fast-paced excitement from the pen of J.K. Rowling.

The Doctor Who connection extends, perhaps, to Newt's wonderful suitcase being bigger on the inside, with one of the funniest scenes being Jacob trying to force his portly frame inside it, but then I'm a Doctor Who fanboy. If I were a Harry Potter fanboy, on the other hand, I'd be squeeing over this look at the world of magic in 1920s New York, where Muggles are "no-maj" and there is a new witch hunt from the "New Salemers", with that song from the little girl being the creepiest thing in the film by far.

But we also see the different ways wizards organise themselves in America, and still have time to namedrop both Hogwarts and Dumbledore, although the mythology is never allowed to overshadow the tumultuous events, where even the baking of a strudel involves some awesome CGI. It's a film that triumphantly mixes the epic, the cool, the funny and the tragic, with budding lovebirds Queenie and Jacob forced to part, with his muggle memories having to be erased. Still, there's a hopefully ambiguous ending and there are many reasons to await the sequel. Good, exciting, fast-paced fun.

Daredevil (2003)

"I want a bloody costume!"

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.

I remember seeing this at the pictures when it came out. As far as I can recall I didn't hate it. I may not have been overwhelmed but I was, at least, moderately whelmed. This time, though... oh dear. I'm afraid this review is going to be quite the spanking.

Please understand that this film isn't awful merely because it stars Ben Affleck, which is never a good thing, or even that Affleck is in even worse form than usual. Jon Favreau is awful (he should stick to directing), Jennifer Garner phones in her performance, and while Michael Clarke Duncan is a good actor he's miscast as the Kingpin. He has a kind face. You just can't cast him as a baddie, although it doesn't help that the Kingpin's lines are the worst in the film. Only Colin Farrell manages to shine by, wisely, chewing the scenery with gusto as it's the only thing you can do with lines like that.

And that brings us to the script, a steaming pile of dung. It beggars belief that anyone seriously thought this script was ready for production. It's clear from the performances that the cast doesn't exactly believe in it. None of the characters are well-developed. Far too much time is spent on a totally unnecessary recap of Daredevil's origin- why are superhero films always doing this?- and Daredevil doesn't act or feel like Daredevil. He kills. He beats people up and generally behaves like a homicidal Batman. It just feels wrong.

At least we can keep ourselves entertained by counting all the names of comics creators here. I'm not sure how Joe Quesada feels about giving his name to a rapist, but Kevin Smith gets a cameo as "Jack Kirby" (and Frank Miller gets a brief cameo as, naturally, does Stan Lee) and Jack Murdock has recently fought "Miller, Mack, Bendis" and is seen fighting John Romita.

Still, this film is a turd. It's not even entertainingly bad. For the morbidly curious only.