Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 1- The Halfmen

"They'll stick me alongside the Piltdown forgeries as a horrid warning!"

It's good to get back to Quatermass, that slow-building tension and that great storytelling team of Nigel Kneale and Rudolph Cartier. There are so many superb touches here, from the neat little piece of exposition by newspaper headlines to the use of vox pops. Yet these vox pops don't give a very flattering impression of people, ignorant and self-centred as they (we) are, and it doesn't take long before Kneale's bleak view of human nature shows itself.

In fact, even in one episode, Quatermass and the Pit paints a far bleaker picture of humanity than either of its predecessors. The builders who find the skull are ignorant and venal; the archaeological work of Dr Roney is at risk because of others' greed and, worse, Quatermass' beloved British Rocket Group faces a military takeover, enforced by arrogant civil servants and personified by the arrogant and very soldier-like Colonel Breen.

Quatermass is alone in a room full of Civil servants (gasp, how awful!) who are happy to rubber stamp the military takeover of plans to build bases on the Moon and Mars within seven years, which are to see the militarisation of space a generation before Reagan: a horrible "dead man's deterrent" which will avenge a nuked Britain from beyond the brain. It's a horrible perversion of science and the spirit of exploration but, in Kneale's world, that's humanity for you.

Andre Morell, following the now well-established tradition of replacing a dead predecessor as Quatermass, is superb, rather eclipsing both other actors. Cec Linder, though, is also engaging and charismatic as Dr Roney, a brash and courageous Canadian palaeontologist.

Seemingly, the bones of four previously unknown early hominids have been found, but also a strange metal object, and we're left with the thought that this sat below remains which are up to five million years old...

This is gripping telly. It's the first time I've seen it in well over a decade and I'm already excited about the next five episodes.

Blake's 7: The Keeper

“Don’t you trust me?”

“No, of course not!”

Allan Prior does his best with making the dialogue sound realistic, but the first few lines of this episode consist of possibly the most blatant case of “as you know, Bob” syndrome ever. Characters keep falling over each other to explain things all of them already know for the viewer’s benefit; a surgeon called Lurgen left his brain print on the planet Goth, and this brain print is being worn around the neck of a tribal chief. It apparently contains the location of Star One and, given that this is the penultimate episode of the series, we know damn well that they’re going to find it.

This is a bit of an Avon-lite episode, but there’s plenty of the ongoing tension between him and Blake, with Avon winding Blake up by asking why they don’t just take over Star One and rule the galaxy rather than destroying it. But he and Cally are this weeks teleport operators, while Blake, Jenna and Vila get to teleport down. This may not be entirely unconnected with the fact that Sally Knyvette and Gareth Thomas are leaving soon.

As is traditional, the planet Goth bears an uncanny resemblance to the South-East of England, although I’m glad to see some more of the recent tendency to give all alien planets an interesting natural feature; in this case it’s a sulphurous atmosphere, poisonous in the long-term. This doesn’t really affect the plot, but it’s a nice touch.

The only locals we see are a tribe called “the Goths”. As this is also the name of the planet are they the only people living on this world or is their name of the tribe just a big coincidence. Whatever, they’re great. Bruce Purchase chews the scenery magnificently as Gola, the chieftain. He has a sister, a mysterious seeress, and a fool, in good mediaeval tradition. The whole look of the costumes, sets and hairstyles are all way cool, too, partly mediaeval but with a large hint of the Gauls of Asterix, complete with a drug-addled religious figure.

Unfortunately, our herpes are all captured fairly quickly because the Liberator, in typical Blake’s 7 style, has gone out of teleporter range. This has happened because Avon has spotted Travis’ ship and, in sharp contrast to Blake’s constant shilly-shallying about killing him, coldly sets out to shoot him in the back. He apparently does this, as the ship blows up.

Except Travis isn’t aboard, as we soon discover after Blake is finally teleported up to have a bit of a shouting match with Avon before buggering off back to the surface again. Travis is staying with Gola, as is Servalan, and they’re also on the trail of Star One for reasons of their own personal gain, a fact which should entirely fail to surprise us.

Blake rescues a big shouty bloke called Rod, who proceeds to speak of a brother and, er, shout a lot. Both of them head towards the chief’s tent, where Jenna is to be “pair-bonded” with Gola (isn’t she lucky!) although apparently she’s not supposed to touch him- being chief doesn’t seem all that much fun in that case! Vila, meanwhile, is expected to become the new fool. Naturally, he proves to be quite brilliant at this.

Sally Knyvette is brilliant in her scenes with Gola; her facial acting is particularly superb. You always feel that, despite appearances, she’s always in control of the situation, but the mysterious seeress is another matter. Still, Jenna eventually discovers that the seeress’ amulet is not the one they want.

Vila is thrown into a cell after an unfortunate incident with some ventriloquism, where we discover that his neighbour is a mysterious old man. I wonder if there’s anybody who’s ever seen this episode and didn’t immediately work out that he’s Gola’s father and the ousted previous chief?

Jenna continues to manipulate the rather thick Gola, to Servalan’s great annoyance, and soon discovers that his amulet isn’t the one they want either. So, it must be someone else. Cue the arrival of Rod, who we all worked out was Gola’s brother from the get go. They proceed to fight a dual with rather odd weapons, but are both killed, and Rod’s amulet isn’t the right one either.

We end in the old chief’s cell as he dies. The royal line is extinct and it seems the amulet has gone, until a verbal trigger leads the fool to start chanting the location of Star One. Time for a season finale…

Doctor Who: Trial of a Time Lord Parts Nine to Twelve: Terror of the Vervoids

Part Nine

“Let’s exercise the grey cells for once, shall we?”

The Doctor, still very upset at Peri’s death, is nevertheless forced to continue with the trial, and to show some evidence of his own. And this evidence is… from the future. His mind really must be addled by grief. And how does this work anyway? Can’t the Doctor think of anything that’s already happened to him throughout his entire life that will help his case? Why is evidence from the future even admissible? After all, by definition it can only be from a possible future, particularly as it seems at the moment that the Doctor is to be executed long before he ever gets to meet Mel or visit the Hyperion III.

So, it’s 2986, and said ship is travelling between what appear to be the colonial possession of Mogar and Earth- interestingly, given the fact that we appear to be in the same time period as The Mutants. We’re not in the same genre, though; there’s a murderer on board, and the spirit of Agatha Christie hangs in the air. No doubt this’ll be just as good as The Robots of Death, then.

Honor Blackman’s in it. The Doctor’s wearing a yellow cravat. Oh, and there’s a new companion, Mel, or rather there will be once the Doctor actually meets her. I’m enjoying this sort of timey-wimey stuff, much as the trial framing sequence is no longer making any sense. And I like Mel. And I like Bonnie Langford. There, I’ve said it.

Our scheduled broadcast of carrot juice and exercise bikes is interrupted by a mayday call, and our two TARDISeers are, er, embroiled in a web of intrigue. The Doctor and Mel have a great relationship, very tactile, with no serious bickering and a great chemistry. And Mel’s a likeable character who actually seems to enjoy travelling in the TARDIS, which comes as a huge relief. Because arguably no one else really has ever since Romana.

There’s an awful lot of aerobics in this story; it may be the 2980s, but it’s still the ‘80s. It’s all such fun though. I love the novel Professor Lasky’s reading…

We finish with some more apparent evidence that the Matrix has been tempted with. But on the plus side, Mel is definitely great- she can scream in the exact same key as the closing theme…

Part Ten

“The fellow may be a fool but he’s not a criminal.”

We get our first intimations here that there’s a dangerous alien plant species on the loose. And some more stuff happens with the murder mystery plot. But the main distinguishing feature of this episode is that rather cool-looking three dimensional Space Invaders clone the Mogarians are playing. Aside from its obvious coolness, it’s another example of how impressive the effects have been this season. Seldom before have we seen such casual brilliance.

We get a mention of the Black Hole of Tartarus, but we’re assured it’s perfectly safe. It’s definitely not going to be a threat at any point, then. The Mogarians discuss Earth’s plundering of their planet- bit of politics there- and there’s another murder. There’s some rather too heavily telegraphed Poirot stuff from the Doctor in the courtroom as he shows off about the Mogarian translator, but by now the murder mystery plot is bubbling nicely.

Mel screams in exactly the right key again.

Part Eleven

“Never mind the Just So Stories! That guard looks trigger happy to me!”

In a departure from the norm, Mel screams quite early in the episode this time. And narrowly escapes being murdered in true Perils of Pauline fashion. Meanwhile, the Vervoids appear properly and turn out to look fab- once again on the production side things are superb. And they get such naturalistic dialogue, too, with lines such as “We are doing splendidly!” which sound in no way bizarre coming from a talking plant.

Meanwhile the viewer gets confirmation that the Matrix’s pants are well and truly on fire as the Doctor is shown smashing the communications equipment. Much as this may not be anywhere near as well-written as Mindwarp, and the trial sequences make a lot less sense, I must admit that this time at least we know when the Matrix is lying and when it isn’t.

But the trial sequences make no sense at all here. The Investigator implies that the Doctor is guilty until proven innocent, the Valeyard is now trying to condemn the Doctor for things which haven’t actually happened yet and possibly never will, and the Investigator describes the Doctor’s “fair trial” as “an indulgence”. Everything tells us that this is just a show trial, with barely a pretence of justice, yet the Doctor seems to have no objection whatsoever to the Inquisitor’s conduct, and the script seems to assume that the audience are supposed to accept her as a legitimate authority figure, which is absurd.

Part Twelve

“The charge must now be genocide!”

Well, there’s a surprise- the ship’s headed straight for the Black Hole of Tarsarus. Who’d have thunk it? Technically, of course, there’s no danger at all as the Doctor and Mel could simply bundle everyone else in the TARDIS. In fact, that’s definitely what he would have done back when he was Peter Davison, although come to think of it that sort of thing more or less stopped with Planet of Fire.

Anyway, Rudge and the Mogarians slightly irritate our heroes with a fairly crappy hijack attempt. This is soon dealt with, but at least it manages to highlight the rather fantastic looking graphic effect on the screen on the bridge. The Doctor rather cleverly fingers Doland as the killer and turns the tables on him, and Lasky rather suddenly sees the error of her ways. Although she gets killed by the Vervoids anyway in the obligatory “But you can’t kill me! I’m your creator!” scene.

As a final nice touch, the Vervoids’ leaves turn autumnal before they crumble and die. Unfortunately things then start going all arbitrary in the courtroom…

The actual Vervoid story was rather good, I thought- nothing particularly clever, unlike last story, but it was a straightforward adventure done well and there’s nothing wrong with that. And like everything else in this season so far it looks great. It’s just a shame that the trial sequences, rather well-integrated until now, have started to unravel. Still, 4/5.

Doctor Who: State of Decay

Part One

“I take it you don’t get any strangers here?”

It’s so good to see Terrance Dicks’ name again. This is the first story to be written by a member of the old guard since, er, Terry Nation last season. And instantly we know this story is going to be splendidly retro- a mood which is gothic and Hinchcliffe-ish in every sense, dialogue which is rather more engaging that recent stories have shown, and an alien planet that looks uncannily like the South of England. We’re in safe hands.

There’s a village, a tower… and nothing else apparently. The mysterious lords exploit the peasants not only by means of their labour but by actually drinking their blood. Er, slight left-wing subtext, anyone?

Actually, that’s not true at all- the lords aren’t exploiting the peasants at all; they’re protecting them from “The Wasting”, so everything’s fine. It’s often said of this story that it’s never explained what the Wasting actually is, but that’s an outrageous slur. It’s clearly stated that “The Wasting is… The Wasting”.

This whole episode is a delight, from the sparkling dialogue between the Doctor and Romana, whose chemistry with each other never seems to suffer from whatever was going on behind the scenes, to that splendid fade from Autloc to some bats.

Adric’s scenes with the peasants consist mainly of him being an utter git, but at least these scenes perform a function in terms of exposition. It seems that all knowledge is forbidden, a theme returned to as the Doctor and Romana encounter the “Three Who Rule”. This is perfect not only as a nostalgic nod towards the gothic tone of a few years previously but also entirely in keeping with Bidmead’s Entropy Agenda. (Incidentally, the whole Entropy Agenda thing was first pointed out by Philip MacDonald in a splendid article he wrote for DWM many moons ago, which I heartily recommend).

Part Two

“If you need anything, there are guards outside the doors. Many guards.”

More greatness in the same vein here, even more atmospheric than the last episode, if that’s possible, but nicely leavened with humour. In short, just what Doctor Who used to be like, not that I have any problem with the last few series!

One of the best things about this story is Emrys James as Autloc, one of those splendid Welsh actors, like Philip Madoc, who make such great villains. He delivers his lines full-on, just the right side of that dividing line between hamminess and utter genius. He’s the best villain since Julian Glover.

There’s a nice pace of revelations too- the tower is the Hydrax, there’s blood in the fuel tanks…

Part Three

“I’ve never been a great one for swarming.”

No surprise that it’s Autloc’s intervention that resolves the cliffhanger, but I like the way his subsequent unsuccessful attempts to tempt the Doctor and Romana contrasts with his apparently successful attempt with Adric earlier. It’s also interesting to see the power dynamics of the three who rule- Camilla and Zargo may dress as the king and queen but it’s clearly Autloc who’s in charge. In fact, Zargo, the “king”, is shown to be the weakest of the three, asking at one point “Why am I still afraid?”

Watching these in context, it’s an absolutely massive bolt of nostalgia to hear the Doctor speaking once again of the hermit from South Gallifrey (ie K’Anpo), just as he used to do when he was Jon Pertwee. A very effective reminder that both Barry Letts and Terrance Dicks were involved in this story. This scene is great for other reasons, though; it’s very funny, and the relationship between the Doctor and Romana is much more like it used to be.

We get lots of nice continuity porn what with the references to Rassilon and stuff, too. I had to smile at the Doctor’s “No, thank you, not Dracula”- I suspect a reference to this story’s somewhat tortuous production history as a result of a certain BBC classic adaptation! Even the fact the TARDIS seems to have a punch card computer thingy is only the second funniest thing in the episode after this…

Part Four

“It looks as though this is one time the goodies don’t win, after all.”

Once more we see an example of a disturbing trend which others have pointed out in this season’s threads (can’t remember who offhand, sorry!) where Romana effectively becomes the lead, doing all the heroic stuff, while the Doctor is sidelined finding stuff out. I like Romana a lot, and I thing that, being an equal to the Doctor, she works far better as a companion than the stereotypical ankle-twisting, question-asking rescue magnet. But the Doctor is supposed to be the hero of this show!

Interesting and, er, convenient that short hops are much easier in E-Space. Still, this is a satisfying ending, with the use of the tower as a bowship given just the right amount of foreshadowing. The villains get suitable exits- Autloc is allowed a great line (“Then die- that is the purpose of guards”) before the Three Who Rule proceed to go the way of Julian Glover in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. It’s not badly done, at all.

Insufferable git though Adric is, at least his apparent betrayal seems to have been a bluff. But I can’t say I’m disappointed to hear the Doctor insist he’s taking Adric straight home! That, the last we’ll be seeing of him, right…?

Fantastic, a very high 5/5, just outside my top ten. This one makes me feel all nostalgic for the fairly recent past. And that’s two 5/5s in a row for the E-Space trilogy- surely we can’t expect a third?