Carry On Up the Khyber (1968)

 "For the last time, stop calling it a dangler!"

Sometimes conventional opinion is conventional for a reason, and I strongly suspect that's the case here. This is widely regarded as the best Carry On film. I've seen it a number of times during my youth, and always casually thought of it as the best. Having seen it again, now, as part of my slow journey through the Carry On films in order, that opinion is very much confirmed. Carry On Up the Khyber is absolutely superb, easily the best so far. Is this peak Carry On, then? Is it all downhill from here?

I should mention, of course, that there are things in this film- the brownface, the Indian and Afghan stereotypes- that, shall we say, have not aged well, and that there are certainly moments that make the viewer wince in 2025. The world of fifty-seven years ago now looks startlingly alien to our own... although, compared to MAGA morons, they seem positively progressive.

Those issues acknowledged, then, what makes this film so good? Well, firstly, the script is superb. The central conceit- that the security of British rule of the North-West frontier depends on the continued belief that the Third Foot and Mouth wear nothing beneath their kilts is inspired. The scene, towards the end, as Sir Sidney and the other senior British wallahs calmly eat dinner as the residency is attacked, is rightly acknowledged as perhaps the finest Carry On scene ever. But it's more than that. There's a lot of innuendo, and it's so witty. But the film is full of brilliant jokes, such as when the Khazi of Kalabar expresses annoyance at the beating of a gong- "Rank stupidity", indeed.

We also have the full core cast on top form here. Sid James and Kenneth Williams impress, of course. But Charles Hawtrey, too- having seemed to be sidelined in recent films, he's back, on top form, in a prominent role. Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw also stand out. But guest stars Roy Castle and Terry Scott are also superb.

I hope I'll see a better Carry On film as my marathon continues... but perhaps I should just hope to get as close as possible.

Follow That Camel (1967)

 "The pill? What do you think they used that for?"

"I can't conceive."

Another Carry On film today, albeit the second of two instalments without the title... and, well, we're in the middle of the peak period here, and this one may possibly be the best yet. 

We have to wince a little at the portrayal of the Algerian characters and the use of brownface in particular, good though Bernard Bresslaw is as antagonist Abdul Abulbul, and all the dodgy Arab stereotypes are out in force. One of the funniest jokes is about suicide. As for the jokes about what happens to Jane when alone with various men, well...

It was 1967, a very different time. But crikey.

Yet this Carry On treatment of Beau Geste and the French Foreign Legion works well. Sid James is absent, but the one-off appearance of the very American and very funny Phil Silvers in this very British comedy franchise works triumphantly. Silvers is magnificent here, as are Jim Dale and especially Angela Douglas. Kenneth Williams is also worthy of particular praise; he's very good and very funny without necessarily being camp here. He has far more range as a comic actor than even his admirers tend to acknowledge.

Yet what elevates this film to top tier status is the script. Yes, Talbot Rothwell gives us a very Carry On text, as he should, but this one is unusually witty as well as being ribald.

Here's hoping for a couple more of this quality before things apparently start to go downhill...

Don't Lose Your Head (1967)

 "That's all very well, but that would never have happened under a Royalist government."

We're entering a stretch that represents the absolute pinnacle of Carry On. This, and the next couple of films or so, are the peak. It is, or so we're led to believe, all downhill, starting very soon. I'll keep an open mind, naturally, but let''s enjoy this purple patch while it lasts. And let's appreciate the irony that two of the films in this period, starting with this one, strictly speaking didn't have the "Carry On" prefix.

This film is bloody good, though. I've seenit many times over the years, but not for a while. And it didn't disappoint either this time or before. It's a simple premise: just riff off The Scarlet Pimpernel and pit Sid James' Sir Rodney Ffing ("Effing, with two f's") against Kenneth Williams as the inevitably named citizen camembert. Add in Charles Hawtrey as the Dic de Pomme Frities, and you have a filmthat cannot fail.

Add in a couple of contemporary references "It's the one thing the English are good at, striking", but otherwise just let the cast be themselves as we know the formula right now... and we end up with a film that never gets stale.

The deliberately, cheerfully crap jokes are a joy too. The Duc and Duchesse de la Plume de ma Tante. "I'm Camembert. I'm the big cheese". "But then, you've always had magnificent balls, and I wouldn't miss one of them". In fact, these gloriously awful puns are indubitably the best bit.

This is easily the best instalment up to this point. Can they top this one?

Carry On Screaming (1966)

 "May I blow it?"

It's October. The month of Halloween. The month of ghouls and ghost and things that go bump in the night... and the next film in my slow, chronological meanderings through the Carry On series turns out to be rather appropriate. Who'd have thunk it?

Just as recent films have been genre pastiches, this time we get a glorious taste on the British horror films from the likes of Hammer and Amicus, very much in their heyday at this point. The look of the film is perfect, as are the opening titles and song. Yet, as ever, the success of this film lies in the superb performances and the gloriously crap jokes... and yes, the innuendo about the whistle is absolutely the best thing in it.

No Sid James this time, but Harry H. Corbett is a more than adequate replacement in what is more or less a starring role. Fenella Fielding, too, is a wonderful new addition with perfect timing. But best of all, as so very often, is Kenneth Williams, hamming it up in the best possible way as the dastardly Doctor Watt (Doctor Who is his uncle, apparently...!).

Everything about this film is wonderful and utterly unafraid to be silly. Charles Hawtrey gets a surprisingly small role (was his personal life more than usually chaotic at this point?), but it says a lot that the absence of the great Sid James is hardly noticeable here.

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 9- The Demi Devil

 "No more monkey business!"

In a sense, this is yet another straightahead farce, in this case based aroung the idea of Catweazle thinking he's turned Carrot into a monkey, and later getting blotto on posh wine. I realise farces are complex and take skill to write well, but I'm struggling wth this series and may not watch the second series. That's no reflection on the cast, but I personally cannot subsist on a diet of farce alone.

Geoffrey Bayldon is nevertheless superb, as ever, but the character he's playing is now starting to seem a bit one-note. It's also extremely cool, mere weeks after the casting coup of Hattie Jacques, to get another Carry On star in Peter Butterworth to play the Colonel, although he's blatantly too good for the part.

Otherwise, I'm just hoping- probably in vain- that the last four episodes of this series give us something a bit different.

Doctor Who: The Daleks' Master Plan

The Nightmare Begins

"Well now! It's brain or brawn, or rather versus brain..."


It's great to see and hear the familiar Kembel sights and soundtrack, but even more great to see Nick Courtney. He's great, they should certainly think of using him again.

The scenes on Earth with the couple discussing the television news, sort of like a Greek chorus, are extraordinarily self-referential for Doctor Who at this time.

The short piece of footage we see, of Kert Gantry being exterminated by a Dalek, is quite magnificently directed. The camera angle, the "sting" in the soundtrack- have the Daleks ever seemed so scary?

It's a fascinating and new situation for Bret Vyon to get himself aboard the TARDIS with the Doctor apparently locked outside- it gives the sense of an unspoken rule of the narrative having been broken. If some recent stories may have seemed safe and cosy, it's clear this one won't.

Mavic Chen's speech comes across as very Blairesque to my modern eyes. He's slippery from the start, so although his treachery would no doubt have surprised the unspoiled viewer, it should not be shocking. Bret, on the other hand, may be a bit terse and ruthless but basically a decent chap, as he shows by giving Katarina tablets for Steven. Katarina's reactions to what she sees are fascinating.

Day of Armageddon

"Traitor? An archaic word for so advanced a... man as yourself."


Footage! Hooray! Doesn't this look great? Lots of nice touches abound, such as Mavic Chen's very odd way of holding his pen. Kevin Stoney is great, although the make-up used to alter his ethnic appearance certainly raises an eyebrow.

Naturally, the Daleks are eventually planning to kill all the delegates. Who, incidentally, look nothing like they did in Mission to the Unknown. And there are more than six of them to boot.

I love the scene where Bret Vyon and the Doctor tell each other to shut up, well played by both Hartnell and Courtney. You can see the growing respect between the two of them though; Vyon says to Hartnell as he goes in disguise to the conference that he's "a very brave man". And he is. The ambiguity stops here: the Doctor is behaving heroically and altruistically for entirely selfless reasons, showing little concern even for staying within reach of the TARDIS while the Daleks' plans are afoot. Long may this sort of thing continue!

So, the Dalek invasion of Earth started in 2157, seven years before the TARDISeers arrived?

This story is really quite superbly directed. In fact the entire production is slick and glossy looking with apparently high production values. Never before has a sci-fi story, if not any story, looked so great. The Daleks are beautifully shot here; they're so much more effective than ever before.

The plot thickens with the Doctor, in the action hero role for perhaps the first time, exploits the chaos caused by Bret and Steven to steal the Taranium Core before it can be placed into the Time Destructor. And once more Katarina shows a seemingly religious understanding of the Doctor. Nice cliffhanger, too. So far, this is great. Could we at last have a sci-fi story that can stand toe to toe with the historicals?

Devil Planet

"We have the Taranium so for the moment we do nothing. And by doing nothing we do everything. Do I make myself clear?"


It's a predicable resolution to the cliffhanger, but there's no let up in the pace as our heroes take off from Kembel. I'm really getting intrigued by Katarina (can't you just smell that dramatic irony?) and how much she understands of her surroundings. Of course, her reactions are far from realistic; you can't realistically portray the reactions of an ancient Trojan woman to all this space opera without constantly and tediously interrupting the narrative. But within the conventions of the genre her reactions are well thought through. Naturally, she assumes Kembel was Earth. Conveniently, she doesn't ask questions.

It's most amusing to see magnetic tape in use in the year 4000.

We're introduced to a planet called Desperus (!), a penal policy which is... interesting, some actual footage, and most notably the Doctor continuing to be heroic in a way he's never quite been before. This is another watershed story for the Hartnell Doctor's characterisation.

The Traitors

"I hope she's reached her Place of Perfection."

"Yes, but... not that way."


Katarina's death is utterly shocking, and fittingly followed by a long silence. Both the Doctor and Steven are shocked and upset; the scene is extremely effective, and with hindsight long foreshadowed.

The Daleks continue to impress; the Dalek Supreme's voice is among the finest I've ever heard and perhaps the ultimate Dalek voice, full of character, actually interesting to listen to, but unmistakably a Dalek. This Dalek Supreme is no fool, understanding Mavic Chen's motives perfectly. Never before have the Daleks seemed so manipulative and in control.

There are lots of nice little bits of world building in the scenes on Earth, dull though the actual sets undoubtedly would have been. Earth, it seems, abounds with traitors, even Bret's mate Daxtar. It's a nice juxtaposition of events where Bret, to the Doctor's outrage, shoots Daxtar, only to be himself shot soon afterwards by Sara Kingdom. The Doctor and Steven are in real trouble; stuck on a hostile Earth light years from the TARDIS.

Counter Plot

"An alien device. There are small white creatures inside. They may be hostile."


Some footage, and although unfortunately given that footage is so rationed this episode is not all that visual we get some groovy special effects at the start. So good in fact that they went some way to distracting me from the sheer convenience of our heroes being somehow teleported halfway across the galaxy by means unknown last episode. The ultimate cliffhanger cop-out, but as it's all rather fun so far I'll overlook that.

Kevin Stoney is great, and so much is added by actually seeing his performance. It's eye-opening seeing how Karlton behaves towards Chen though- he's clearly a powerful chap, and very well played by Maurice Browning. There's a great sequence where Chen begins to rant like a madman, Karlton subtly shows signs of noticing, and Chen suddenly becomes self-conscious and changes tack. How many other such visual moments are we missing?

Coolness abounds: invisible creatures (These beings appear to be invisible!"),Chen playing with his pen again, that Dalek with the compass thingy again (yay!) and, best of all, the epic battle between the Daleks and the mice. And lots of nice directorial touches- the studio floor is cunningly hidden in the jungle scenes.

The scenes where Sara Kingdom is finally convinced to trust the Doctor and Steven is well done, and well played by Jean Marsh.

Coronas of the Sun

"You make your incompetence sound like an achievement!"


Our first episode written by Dennis Spooner!

The scene between Chen and the Daleks in which they debate who is to blame for the failure to capture the TARDISeers is nicely handled; Chen starts out on the back foot, in seeming danger of being exterminated for his incompetence, only for the scene to end with an embarrassed Dalek Supreme blustering that "It is not an emergency". The voice artist for the Dalek Supreme is doing a superlative job.

So Steven's from "hundreds of years" before 4000, which would place him in the 4th millennium?

There's a rather interesting row between the Doctor and Steven at the end about Steven's antigrav experiment. They've never seemed that close compared to the Doctor's other companions- I suspect we'll be seeing more of this sort of thing.


All good stuff so far.

The Feast of Steven

"Well, I suppose you might say I'm a citizen of the universe. And a gentleman to boot."


Well, that was... different.

The scenes in the Liverpool police stations are good fun, although the Scouse accents are variable, to say the least. Some interesting dialogue: Aye, I think you know all of the queer people!"

The Hollywood section is... bewildering, especially without footage! Within two minutes I'd given up all pretence of understanding what was happening in favour of just going with the flow. Even the excellent Loose Cannon recon doesn't clarify things too much here. Great line from Sara: "I don't know, but a strange man kept telling me to take my clothes off".

Oh, and there's also that line!

This is all very silly, but it's harmless fun, and I won't be so churlish as to pay this any attention when reviewing the story as a whole.

Volcano

"Their greed for power is so great that they can be trusted."


Back to the story, and the tone's still a bit light-hearted, a bit The Chase even. It's good to see Daleks again, finally realising the Taranium Core they have is a fake. Things are so serious a time machine has to be summoned from Skaro- time machines are clearly rare.

Surely Trantis' shocking death would cause the other delegates to have second thoughts, but apparently not...

It's the Monk! Yay! And he's still in his robes for some reason. It's great to see him again, not least because Steven gets the chance to say "I'll explain later" to Sara.

The Doctor's ring gets curiouser and curiouser. Apparently "it has, er, certain properties", my precious.


Golden Death

"Dalek extermination will not be questioned!"


Egypt! More pseudo-historical goodness from Dennis Spooner! Things are getting good again, in spite of the frog in the Doctor's throat at the start. There are lots of cool things her; the Doctor's hat, the Monk's shades, and best of all an epic battle between Daleks and Ancient Egyptians. The tone's a bit odd, what with the Doctor and the Monk playing their practical jokes on each other amongst the real menace of the Daleks, but somehow it works.

It's nice to "see" Walter Randall again too.

Escape Switch

"I also include that Monk fellow, although I don't know why I should bother with him."


At last, some more footage! The Monk as a mummy is very cool indeed. As is Chen's shoving the Dalek's eyestalk aside. Once again I'm led to wonder how much of this sort of clever visual storytelling we're missing out on most of the time.

At last the plot is moving full throttle though, with the Daleks finally seizing the Taranium Core.


The Abandoned Planet

"Do we deal with Mavic Chen now?"

"No. His arrogance and greed have a further use for us."


There's a delicious irony to Chen's coup on his fellow delegates, given his own inevitable betrayal by the Daleks. Chen seems to cross a line in his desperation; he's no longer acting rationally. Of course, the other delegates are all surprised by their own blatantly obvious betrayal by the Daleks.

I love the way this episode gives us a "greatest hits" of the Dalek sound effects and music, some of which I don't remember hearing since the first Dalek story.

The Destruction of Time

"Such a waste. A terrible cost."


At last Chen is showing himself to be openly insane. This may not give him a motivation or make him any more than a cipher, but given his role in the story this doesn't really matter. Kevin Stoney has been brilliant since the start, and he's particularly good here as an increasingly desperate and deluded Chen gradually unravels. The scene of his extermination, with the long, ominous silences from the Daleks, is very effective.

This is an appropriately tense and gripping conclusion to the epic- the constant ticking of the Time Destructor is very effective in showing the relentlessness of the horror. Sara's fate is horrifying, and the ending is very bleak indeed.


Overall, utterly superb. Of course, it never pretended to be anything more than an epic adventure story and there was never any subtext to speak of, but there's certainly nothing wrong with that. This is the first science fiction story that I'd rank up with the best historicals. Aside from a slight dip in the middle it was constantly gripping. 5/5.

Doctor Who: The Time Meddler

The Watcher

"That is the dematerialising control and that over yonder is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it- sheer poetry, dear boy."

It's nice that we start with a chat between the Doctor and Vicki about Ian and Barbara. Suddenly the Doctor as well as Vicki is afraid of being alone.

Great to see Peter Butterworth, no less, as the Monk- our only major guest star so far to be heralded by stock footage of some waves.

We now have two companions from the future- and, incidentally, two northerners. Will their both hailing from future times do any harm to viewer identification in the long term, I wonder?

For the first time, the acronym TARDIS is explained by Vicki as "Time and Relative Dimensions in Space".

This is the greatest episode since The Keys of Marinus for lines from Hartnell: "What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?"; "I'm not a mountain goat and I prefer walking to any day. And I hate climbing."

Alethea Charlton appears again! Playing a very nice lady, addressed by the doctor as "Woman".

Nice bit of intrigue with the Monk obviously feeling for a wristwatch, followed up by Steven finding a wristwatch later. The Doctor's finding the gramophone ratchets this up even further. A genuine bit of mystery, and at last the sci-fi and historical elements are being mixed.

The Meddling Monk

"I don't think we've been as clever as we think we have."


We start the next morning, and the scene of the Monk making a rather modern-looking breakfast for the Doctor has made me come over all peckish. Bill Hartnell's off on his holidays again, I see!

I do wish everyone wouldn't keep calling it the 10th century! And as this is Northumbria they'd technically be Angles, not Saxons.

Some very nice stock footage of some Vikings there. Even once we get to the scenes shot for the programme it must be said their leader is sporting a rather impressive helmet.

The implied rape of Edith is rather jarring for a programme like this- not for the first time Dennis Spooner, while generally an excellent writer, misjudges the tone. Still, this aside it's all good stuff so far.

A Battle of Wits

"If I know the Doctor it's not going to be as simple as that."


It's Vicki who finds the secret passage in the Doctor's cell- she's great, and I'm liking her more and more. Meanwhile, the Doctor is telling a suddenly recovered Edith the next couple of months' worth of current affairs.

For the first time since the rape we see Sven and Ulf. Because of what they've done we instinctively know they won't finish the story alive.

The monk's chart detailing his plan is priceless, as is the Doctor persuading the Monk that his stick is in fact a "Winchester '73". "Well, as it happens, I happen to be a very curious fellow!"

Vicki's horrified to see the TARDIS submerged by the tide, although surely by now the viewer would have no fears on this score. Once again she's terrified of abandonment.

WHAT a cliffhanger- another TARDIS!

Checkmate

"It's a TARDIS! The Monk's got a TARDIS!"


So the Monk's from "50 years earlier" than the Doctor, and he's got a "Mark 4". No doubt this will all be picked up on in years to come.

Dennis Spooner has clearly changed his mind entirely on the mechanics of changing history since he scripted The Reign of Terror...! It's very noticeable, too, that the Doctor has changed over the last season, being very keen on sorting things out before returning to the Ship for entirely selfless reasons, although of course as the Monk is one of his own people he arguably has more reason to feel responsible.

Nice ending- the Monk gets his comeuppance, Steven's been fully initiated, and once again we end the season with a star field over the credits.


Overall, top stuff. A great central idea, well-executed and acted, with lots of good character stuff and a bit of intrigue as to the Doctor's origins. An easy 5/5.