Clash of the Titans (1981)

 "Once he tried to ravish me disguised as a cuttlefish..."

This is Ray Harryhausen's last film. His career was, of course, long and magnificent, but the best bits were the three Sinbad films and this. Harryhausen the American stop motion genius- surely the greatest special effects maestro of all time, from a time before CGI- finished his career here, gracing us with his presence in this England until the end of his pleasingly long days. By all accounts he was a really nice bloke, a good thing to hear particularly of a genius.

He does his usual brilliant stuff in this film- the kraken, the owl, the vulture, Medusa and so on, as he always does. As usual, he gets his ezxecutrive producer credit to demonsrate that,unusually, the special effects guy is one of the stars. Ray Harryhausen was unique. I can't see us knowing his like again.

This is the tale of Perseus, from the myths, pretty much straight, or at least as straight as the practicalities of stop motion will allow. Harry Hamlin and Judi Bowker are competent and pretty, but the real acting chops lie elsewhere. We have Burgess Meredith, first and foremost, outshining everyone. But we also have the gods, capricious as the myths demand. And so we have Larry himself as Zeus, Jack Gwillim as Poseidon and a veritable pantheon of goddeses with Ursula Andress, Claire Bloom and the extraordinary Maggie Smith as Thetis.

The film is a refreshingly straightforward and highly straightforward retelling of the myth. It's a B movie, whatever its fame. It may be a tad slowy paced at times, but I challenge you not to love it.

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 13- The Trickery Lantern

 "Well, one can't desert a brother when he's put a fork through his foot."

So that's it, certainly for this season. This has bee a decent little quirky kids' farcical comedy, but I can't say it's more than quite good, or is particularly worth watching for those, like myself, with no particular nostalgic memories of the programme. It is, at this point, by no means certain that I will eventually blog the second series. It's more Sapphire and Steel first.

This final episode is different from the various farces that preceded it in that this is the episode where Catweazle- suddenly, after a much underexplained epiphany at the end of next episode- knows how to get back to the th century just like that. It feels very much as though he's doing this just because the series is ending, which he literally is. But at least we finally have an episode where the reset button won't just be pushed at the end.

It's also nice, and unexpected, to see a young-looking Nana Moon from EastEnders as Flo, George's ghost-obsessed sister, who seems to recognise Catweazle as a ghost from her childhood- it's a shame the episode doesn't end with Catweazle travelling back only forty years to meet her as a little girl.

So thar's it. I'm almost as shocked as Carrot to see Catweazle go. I assume the next series doesn't have quite the same premise?

Go on then. I'll watch the next season if anyone can persuade me it's worth my while!

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 12- The Wisdom of Solomon

 "My mum's cousin had a horse that looked like that once. We had to shoot it."

This penultimate episode of the series is the best we've had in a while. Patricia Hayes is splendidly awful as the vile Mrs Skinner, whom George has hired as a housekeeper along with her equally loathsome son Arthur who goes to school with Carrot (their uniforms have caps.which dates the episode just as much as the reference to ten bob), and threatens to ruin and expose everything. They are by far the modt effectively evil baddies we've had so far, and the theatrically passive-aggressive Mrs Skinner is a masterful creation.

Their nastiness makes their inevitable comeuppance at Catweazle's hands all the more enjoyable.

This all even leads to permanent changes- Castle Saburac is no longer available, while Catweazle has an idea, involving water. I somehow suspect he won't be arund much longer, and I'll be able to replace Catweazle with the second series of Sapphire & Steel...

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 11- The Flying Broomsticks

"I shall not be so easily gulled by false magic!"

This episode is pretty much a farce, as they all are, but it's above the usual standard. We even get some minor arc progression as Catweazle finally exhausts Rapkyn's spell book. Never mind the fact that Sam starts out back in Geirge's employ again, as though nothing at all had happened between them.

This time the foil is a new police sergeant, a city boy who knows not of country ways. So, when he ses broomsticks being nicked and burned (Catweazle's doing, of course), he assumes some kind of satanic ceremony. And a series of comical misunderstandings puts Sam in potential trouble although his only actual offence is to be late renewing his car insurance.

The farce is well done, and the ending is both funnier and goes further than expected. There's even a nice little subtext in how the town copper is too quick to stereotype country people. Nevertheless, even a good episode of this is not quite enough to make me anything other than relieved there are only two episodes to go.

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 10- The House of the Sorcerer

 "Canst thou wind me back?"

It's still all farce... but this is a better episode. Yes, it concerns an an eccentric wildlife obsessive, a nice little guest part for Bernard Hepton, who is mistaken, inevitably, for a wizard by Catweazle, with predictable farcical hijinks ensuing. But there's also an amusing little scene where Sam quits, and both he and George dissolve into childish argument in what is a rather good little bit of character comedy. Will he get his old job back after the end?

The best bit, of course, is a glimpse at life in 1970, hence the hijinks with tape- and, with some jealously, how easy it seems to be to casually quit a job and start a new one. Overall, though, there's not much going on here.

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 9- The Demi Devil

 "No more monkey business!"

In a sense, this is yet another straightahead farce, in this case based aroung the idea of Catweazle thinking he's turned Carrot into a monkey, and later getting blotto on posh wine. I realise farces are complex and take skill to write well, but I'm struggling wth this series and may not watch the second series. That's no reflection on the cast, but I personally cannot subsist on a diet of farce alone.

Geoffrey Bayldon is nevertheless superb, as ever, but the character he's playing is now starting to seem a bit one-note. It's also extremely cool, mere weeks after the casting coup of Hattie Jacques, to get another Carry On star in Peter Butterworth to play the Colonel, although he's blatantly too good for the part.

Otherwise, I'm just hoping- probably in vain- that the last four episodes of this series give us something a bit different.

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 8- The Power of Adamcos

 "I am doomed!"

"Here, have some more brandy."

Now that's much better. This whole episode is pretty much just a farce about Caweazle losing his dagger, Adamcos, and the hilarious goings-on in retrieving it, but it's amusing enough, and Geoffrey Bayldon carries the whole thing as ever.

The comedy has some nicely done moments too- Catweazle trying to use the "telling bone" from last episode, and Mr Milton fainting as a figure rises from the sarcophagus. And of course it's fun to see Catweazle running from "Normans", however contrived the explanation.

What really stands out, though, and reminds you that this is 1970, is the fact that George is so casually unbothered about Carrot being off somewhere and not panicking as a parent would today. Also there's the casually unbothered attitude towards knives (they're for whittling, not stabbing!) and the incredibly camp, very Julian and Sandy antiques dealer played by Aubrey Morris at a time where being camp was fine but actual gay sex had been illegal just three years previously. As ever with Catweazle, what really fascinates is the social mores of fifty years ago.

And yes, I am offended by the fact that 1970 was fifty-one years ago...

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 7- The Telling Bone

 "Though braying bolster! Thou black beehive!"

This episode is... well, more of the same. It's another farce, as Catweazle's spell goes wrong and he ends up not in the 11th century but hanging precariously on to a church spire, where he meets the vicar (Mr Barraclough from Porridge) and a series of comical misunderstandings ensue, mostly based around the telephone.

Also, Sam has a vintage car, which he gots for £10 and which Mr Bennet disparages as an old banger. I suppose, in 1970, it would be the equivalent of an old '80s banger. But all we get is by-the-book farce and comedy based on Sam's mother being a bit of a battleaxe. Bayldon is wonderful, as ever, and so is Brian Wilde. But this episode is a bit of a pointless misfire. Kids' telly should aim higher than this.

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 6- The Magic Face

 "Such an English face!"

This is, perhaps, one of the more bog standard episodes with little to make it stand out. Even the plot, an American photographer (and isn't it amusing these days to see film having to be developed, much as the quality was generally better?) taking a picture of Catweazle and his thinking that he is therefore her slave, is humdrum. The fact that Mrs Derringer is such a stereotypical American also helps to give the impression that rather less care was taken with this script than some of the others.

Still, whatever else is going on and in spite of the unremarkableness of the episode, Geoffrey Bayldon continues to be eminently watchable and charismatic, as even Mrs Derringer can see. 

Two shillings an hour to wash a car, that's slavery, though...

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 5- The Eye of Time

) "Thou ass-eared turnspit!"

I know I've done several episodes of Catweazle in a row and seem to be procrastnating over the last ever episode of Life on Mars. Bear with me; things are a bit hectic. Catweazle is short so it's something I can just about manage to blog when time is short. Life on Mars concludes soon, then other stuff will follow.

This is a fine little episode, amusing as ever with Catweazle getting some truly splendid dialogue for the mighty Geoffrey Bayldon to deliver. Even better, the wonderful, extremely funny and actually rather sexy Hattie Jacques is in this in a nice little role as a fortune teller in cahoots with the local betting shop. Catweazle has her number in a wonderful scene in which the two of them get to spar magnificently. It's a real treat to get a guest star of this calibre. In theory, with Catweazle being able to predict every horse race, he and Carrot can become millionaires and lead a life of luxury- but dad says no, and that's that. And Catweazle, for some reason, still wants to return to his extremely unpleasant time.

Yet again it's fascinating, fifty years on (this was filmed in late 1969) to see a Britain in which bets are "five bob" each way and a fortune telling is "seven and six".

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 4- The Witching Hour

 "I say, they boy's hair needs a jolly old cut!"

I'm not saying this is the greatest television programme ever or anything- it's a kids' show from the Light Channel- but I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. On the surface it's a fun little farce based on a bit of misdirection- Carrot thinks his dad is going to marry the rich Miss Bonington to save the farm, but actually she's just an influential councillor whom George (his dad has a name!) needs planning permission and not, in fact, a "shrew".

It's fun, it's splendid stuff, but there are all sorts of questions. Is the farm in financial trouble? Is Carrot's family (what happened to his mum?) landed gentry who are now falling on hard times? Why, for that matter, is Catweazle (still with Rapkyn's spellbook) want to travel back to his own unpleasant time, full of nasty racist Normans, rather than stay in 1970 where nobody wants to kill him? I approve of Catweazle's view of hairdressers as "monstrous", though. Hair is, indeed, magic. Mrs Llamastrangler gives me a very slight trim every six months, whether I need it or not. That's enough for anyone.

But, as ever, much of the attraction is gawking at domestic life in 1970. The HP Sauce bottle. The cars. The fashions in the hairdressers. The glimpse of the high street, including a Spar. This programme may not be the deepest stuff ever, but it's such fun.

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 3- The Curse of Rapkyn

  "'Tis all here, Touchwood. Here lies our way back!"

Another fun little episode here as Catweaze discovers a curse on the farm, helps Carrot get rid of it while getting into a series of scrapes while ending up with a spellbook at the end.

There's more slapstick humour, which works well and showcases Geoffrey Bayldon's comic talent as, among other things, he chases Touchwood around the museum as a bunch of schoolgirls- and their teachers- scream at the toad. There's also a highly enjoyable guest spot from a pre-Last of the Summer Wine Peter Salls who, this time, leaves the Yorkshire vowels to Catweazle.

It's also amusing, half a century later, to see £800 referred to as a massive amount of money, and reassuring that no one seems remotely bothered by the references to Beelzebub and Lucifer, amongst various pagan entities. You certainly wouldn't get away with that on kids' TV today.

It's easy viewing, yes- it's old kids' TV- but I'm enjoying this.

Catweazle: Season 1, Episode 2- Castle Saburac

 "Thou be-skandered newt!"

The bulk of this episode had me wondering how the format was ever going to settle down. There’s plenty of entertaining slapstick humour, and Geoffrey Bayldon’s charisma and comic talents are if anything even more impressive on this second outing, but is every episode going to consist of Carrot trying to hide Catweazle from Sam (who is definitely suspicious) and his dad?

Thankfully, by the end, it appears not, as Catweazle has set himself up in an empty water tower, with his toad Touchwood to boot. This will hopefully increase the diversity of stories that can be told as we settle Ito episodes of the week.

Now that we know this slapstick format isn’t what the show is going to be, it’s all rather fun, and Neil McCarthy is rather good too. It’s also fun to see domestic life in 1969, in the early months of colour telly on ITV- it’s a delight to see such things as a contemporary bottle of HP sauce. I think I’ll enjoy this.

And yes, I k is I wasn’t necessarily going to blog this so soon but I have access now, so why not? Both of my existing series are about to end soon, and Catweazle has short episodes which I, being not exactly tim-rich these days, can manage to blog when there isn't time for anything longer. Expect to see Catweazle quite regularly from now on.

Catweazle: Series 1, Episode 1- The Sun in a Bottle

 "I'll feed thee anon, bizzlegut!"

Fear not; I'm stil blogging the usual stuff, I just needed something short to fill limited time. So this isn't, at least for now, the start of me blogging all of Catweazle, not least because Britbox only has this episode.

It's a fun little kids' show, though; the fashions and, especially, the cartoon opening titles, reveal this to be a fifty year old television programme, but it's a wonder to behold. I can't begin to imagine anything like this being made today, party because it's very noticeably an all-male cast (did nobody notice?), but because fun, intelligent, whimsical, live action telly for children is a thing of the past.

This is an entertaining and successful introductory episode in that it introduces Catweazle- a wizard from 11th century England, shortly after the Conquest, who finds himself in a spot of bother with a bunch of Normans speaking a suspiciously modern, Parisian French and then, via some kind of magic, a barn somewhere in the West Country in the age of Harold Wilson and Jimi Hendrix. It's quite a culture shock, and we have some fun with tractors end electric lights while establishing his friendship with young Carrot, and that he's to be kept a secret.I think we probably ought to gloss over the fact that modern English and old English are certainly not mutually intelligible.

But there are two things which are truly wonderful. One is Gorffrey Bayldon's extraordinary charismatic performance, bonkers yet mesmerising from the first scene as a character who nicely taps into that contemporary counterculture fascination with a pagan past- never mind that pre-conquest England was nothing of the sort. And the other, despite the historical nonsense of having Catweazle speak a kind of cod-Shakespearan early modern English from much closer to our time than his, is the poetic richness of the dialogue.

One day, I hope, I shall see more.

Doctor Who: The Power of Kroll

Part One

“Will there be strawberry jam for tea?”

Our first scene introduces us to our group of miners, among whom are John Leeson taking a break from K9 to play Dugeen, the ever-splendid Philip Madoc as Fenner and the extremely impressive Neil McCarthy as Thawn. He’s superb as our villain of the piece, a cold-hearted personification of corporate evil. All of which is to say that already this is shaping up to be our finest cast of the season, and John Abineri hasn’t even appeared yet.

It’s a familiar set up- an anti-colonialist morality tale at heart, although perhaps with a more up-to-date flavour of corporate activity in the Third World rather than evocations of pith helmets and mem-sahibs. It’s all quite strikingly political though. The humans want to mine this world’s mineral resources, they refer to the natives dismissingly as “Swampies”, they work for a “company”, and there are apparently activists known as the Sons of Earth who oppose this kind of thing. All of which is quite efficiently exposited by Robert Holmes’ script in a scene which gives us a basic impression of what these characters are like.

The TARDIS lands in what is, it must be said, an excellent location, and we’re told this is the third moon of Delta Magna. The mercenary Rohm-Dutt, meanwhile, is busy gun-running with the Swampies. Both TARDISeers are soon captured, the Doctor by the human miners and Romana by the Swampies and Rohm-Dutt. How very traditional. As is the obvious model oil rig which brings back nostalgic memories of Terror of the Zygons. This is all very hard-boiled, especially for this season, but the setting is extremely well thought out. I love the Swampies’ use of the term “Dryfoot”.

We eventually learn that the humans intend to create ten mines here, which will lead to the inevitable destruction of the Swampies’ habitat. Something tells me it might not work out that way…

Part Two

“Well, he probably looked more convincing from the front.”

The perfect cliffhanger resolution- it really is just a man in an unconvincing rubber costume. Brilliant!

The Doctor and Romana disappear into an underground passage- of which there have been quite a few this season- to do some reading up on Swampie mythology and the mysterious Kroll, who apparently just pops up every couple of centuries; “A sort of Holy Writ” says the Doctor of the book they find. “I think it’s atrociously writ.” says Romana. Groan. It seems the proteins the human colonists are after are part of Kroll’s enormous bulk, and that in mining right into his tentacles they’re not being entirely wise.

The cliffhanger’s odd- the Doctor, Romana and Rohm-Dutt are to be executed by one of the Swampies’ seven deadly rituals, yet we end with one of the baddies in danger.

Part Three

“I’m not going to be stopped by lily-livered sentimentalists wailing about the fate of a few primitive savages!”

What a very long reprise. And what a very nasty means of execution- being slowly stretched until your spine snaps as the sun dries out the vines. Our heroes are extremely fortunate that the storm turns up when it does so the Doctor can save them all in a rather nifty fashion.

Kroll’s getting rather more active now, and he’s fulfilling a useful role in getting rid of characters, like Rohm-Dutt. Who have served their plot purpose.

Part Four

“”I’m reporting you for murder!”

We now have dissension in the refinery ranks, as Dugeen and Fenner object to Thrawn’s plan to fire depth charges at Kroll- Dugeen because he’s an apparent sympathiser with the Sons of Earth, Fenner because he’s cynical but realistic. This is paralleled with the Swampies as Varlik and the others come to question more and more Ranquin’s insistence that Kroll is a god and not just a mindless predator. It’s not surprising to see that Ranquin’s fate is to be Death By Kroll.

It ends nicely, with the Doctor in Kroll’s clutches but just managing to reach for the tracer to turn Kroll back into the fifth segment. The humans now have no protein to mine and the Swampies are presumably safe. Hooray! There’s a note of unpleasantness after this though- a lot of people mentioned in their reviews to The Sun Makers that the fate of Gatherer Hade was a little too nasty and undermined the moral rightness of the Doctor’s friends, something I entirely failed to spot at the time. Something similar seems to happen here- just as the Doctor and Romana leave, the remaining Swampies start to advance on Fenner. No doubt some vines will be drying out shortly.

This is probably the biggest pleasant surprise of the marathon so far- I wasn’t expecting to like this much and I wasn’t looking forward to seeing it, but actually I find myself giving it 4/5. It was well-written, admittedly hard-boiled but with enough humour to leaven things, well characterised, very well performed and on the whole well made. It just loses a point for Holmes allowing the political subtext, fine in itself, to overwhelm the story at times.