Willow (1988)

 "Ignore the bird. Follow the river,"

This is, let's be honest, a fantasy B movie script made to look like Hollywood fare by Ron Howard, a very conventional Hollywood director but ina good way. Yes, the evil Quene (a delightfully proto-Morgaine-ish Jean Marsh). Yes, the whole concept of an evil monarch destroying all babies because of a prophecy, let alone the narrative of a baby floating down the river, have potentially pretentious Biblical overtones.

This isn't a clever film. It isn't a great film. It's a highly polished B movie, where one may freely chortle at Warwick Davis' shifting accent even while conceding he's acrtually bloody good as a lead, outshining the disturbingly young pretty boy Val Kilmer who is merely adequate as a rogue turned hero. His arc works, though, from petty thief in a cage to lover to a princess. And the tempedtuous beginnings of their relationship are fun, as is much else.There;s a nice mix between straightforward adventure and comedy.

Jean Marsh is, as if it needed saying, the perfect baddie, chewing the scenery exactly to the right degree. It's good to see Billy Barty, a year after Masters of the Universe, as a cheerfully winging it wizard. The cast is, overall, a success. There's no CGI here;the special effects are real, eithet green screen or stop motion.

Yet it's hard not to see this film as a cheeky reworking of Lord of the Rings, and a cheeky little prompt to Peter Jackson in doing the real thing,

The Doors (1991)

"Does death turn you on?"

This is, I believe, the first film helmed by Oliver Stone that I've ever blogged, and I believe it's my 758th film. Most odd. 

This is, I think its fair to say, a brave and triumphant rock biopic that dares to be art. The real Jim Morrison was both a genius and a twat, and the film illustrates this perfectly. He would not have enjoyed surviving to the #MeToo movement, which would have dealt a just comeuppance; he was a hopeless addict; he was a two timing bastard with double standards who didn't like it when Pam slept with others; worst of all, he reacted with cowardly denial to the babies he fathered, roving himself less than a man. If you father a child, you love that child with all your heart, or you fail to be a man. As a father who dotes on the wonderful Little Miss Llamastrangler, despite her trying to "teach" me ballet, I have to despise the coward. He was not a mn.

Yet he had a magnificent singing voice, his lyrics were extraordinary and he was (despite contemporary criticism that supposed a long-haired man who fronted a rock an roll band could not be cultured, well-read or talented) a poet of real genius and significance. Morrison was not Bob Dylan: he had a good grasp of poetic structure and rhythm.

He was a genius. He was a wanker. He was probably a rapist. Val Kilmer, in an extraordinary feat of acting, IS him. His performance is magnificent.

The film is at once a linear biopic, with extended footage of gigs, an art flick, with multiple rather successful attempts to simulate a drug-induced haze. There is plenty of selective use of the Doors' transcendent music, which seems to be considered unfashionable by various young fools with no understanding of what makes good art. Kyle Machlachlan is superb as the genius Ray Manzarek, yet Meg Ryan as Pam and Kathleen Quonlan as Patricia are transcendent as his "muses" who were fascinating women in their own right.

I hope, one day, to find a rock biopic as good as this. I shall try more Oliver Stone films, amd try not to be put off by the stupid conspiracy theories of JFK.

Batman Forever (1995)

“It's the car, right? Chicks love it."

 Incredibly, I've never seen this until now, after 23 years.After the two gritty Tim Burton films, which I'd seen at the cinema and enjoyed, I wasn't impressed by the prospect of a film that dialled down the atmosphere and just tried to tell an exciting story.

So did I enjoy it? Well, yes, it's a fairly good Hollywood blockbuster action film, and it's even pretty good with the Batman mythos- we get a pretty good Robin origin with the Flying Graysons and the character is made not to look silly, which is no small achievement, even if the fact that the Flying Graysons all wear costumes while performing that Dick's eventual Robin costume will pretty much mirror means that it's pretty obvious who Robin really is, so Bruce's secret is shot too. But then, in this film at least, it pretty much is anyway.

I also like both Tommy Lee Jones' performance as Two-Face and the fact they only did his origin in flashback. But the Riddler, well, Jim Carrey is really annoying and the riddles are a bit perfunctory, the character seemingly being really about those silly brainwave machine thingies; this doesn't really feel like the Riddler.

Also, Joel Schumacher's directorial style is so very generic Hollywood compared to Tim Burton's unique and very fitting style, and even Gotham itself suddenly looks just like an ersatz New York, complete with Statue of Liberty, rather than the Gothic, Expressionist nightmare we've become used to. This is connected to the first two films only by Pat Hingle, Michael Gough, and the design of all of Batman's stuff. And Brude actually gets a girlfriend and still has her when the film ends- what's going on?

Plus Val Kilmer is, if not awful, not great either, and not a patch on Michael Keaton. This just isn't the same introverted, brooding character. But then this isn't really part of the same series of films in any meaningful sense. It's pure Hollywood spectacle, done well but with no real depth or meaning.