True Blood: Dead Meat

"Did you just have sex with him?"

"I did."

"How was it?"

"Oozy, but productive."

Alcide's position as packmaster isn't fated to last; no surprise there. His plot thread, and Sam's, is vaguely dull. But the main plots of Warlow and the newly Nazified Sarah have become vaguely interesting of late. It throws up entertaining tangents like Jason, who always has been submissive to women in a kinky way, becoming "owned forever" by a very dominant vampire, Violet, who is going to make him beg to fuck her. This will be interesting, and is an example of how good character writing can save even a lesser season such as this one.

In parallel, Warlow only agrees to help Sookie save her friends if she is his forever, but this feels far creepier. Creepier still is our Dr Mengele making Pam have sex with him in return for better conditions. This is rape, and Mengele is sooo going to regret it. We have w three example hierarchy of twisted sex right there- consensual kinkiness, hints of an abusive nature, and outright rape.

Elsewhere, Arlene finds out that Terry has left her a millionaire, which is nice. Steve Newlin is a dirty, cowardly snitch. And Sam and Sookie meet, and hug, for the first time in ages. Sarah's covering-up of Truman's death leads, inevitably, to a gruesomely entertaining murder; she's crossed a line here and you just know she won't survive the season.

But we end with Warlow apparently dead. Has Eric killed him? This is a brilliant episode. Is the season coming good at the very end?

True Blood: Save Yourself

"You're a dick!"

At last this season ends, but inconclusively. We begin with a swift resolution to the cliffhanger as Eric suddenly kills Russell Edgington, but the story arc doesn't quite end as the season climaxes with Bill seeming to merge with Lilith. Yes, we have the traditional setting up of the next season's plotlines- Andy's four new fairy daughters are delivered by Holly, of all people- but this is an uneven and unsteady finale.

There's a somewhat messy showdown during which Jason gets visions of his rather anti-vampire parents while kicking arse somewhat awesomely. Alcide finally kills J.D. and becomes leader of the pack. But mostly it's all about the messy downfall of the authority, following which Bill tricks and betrays Salome, whose death is sudden, like Edgington's.

It's an odd finale. Parts of it are satay img conclusions to arcs. Parts are intriguing set-up. But as a whole this is a finale uncomfortably lacking in coherence.

True Blood: Let's Boot and Rally

"New York City smells like pee. And the people are rude."

I love the opening scenes- Sookie vomiting before she's about to have interrupted sex with Alcide, and Lafayette enduring a bad trip, except that this is real magic of the Alan Moore kind. Religious angst; must be the Deep South.

Jason gets trippiness, too, spending most of the episode "seeing" and "hearing" the parents he now knows to have been murdered. Sookie, under the splendid influence of alcohol, is highly amused to see the alpha male fight between Bill and Alcide. And the Authority continues its purge against Sanguinistas.

It becomes clear what's persecuting Terry and his former unit; they shot an Iraqi woman in cold blood and were cursed to be persecuted by a demon called an "ifrit", a creature from Islamic mythology that I know mainly from Dungeons & Dragons.

Andy and Jason are investigating the murder of Sam's friends, and Andy confides to Jason that he naughtily cheated on Holly with a fairy, no less. But the sweetest scenes are of Tara slowly adjusting to life as a vampire. Less sweet by far is Luna being suddenly shot, with Emma fleeing as a wolf.

But the episode is mainly about the hunt for Russell Edgington; Bill and Eric are running out of time but, with the help of Sookie and Alcide, they find him. And are ambushed by his signature wolves...

An episode of plot, plot, plot, perhaps, but with plenty of humour and character along with the incident.

True Blood: Authority Always Wins

"Can I just say... before you became a vampire you were a massive dick."

I love the fact that an amused Pam just nuggets off and leaves Sookie and Lafayette to deal with the newly undead Tara; she's really shining as a character this season, and a lot of this also has to do with the flashbacks to 1905 Sam Francisco where Pam, as a brothel madam, first encounters Eric. I suspect that the theme here is what it means to turn someone, to become a maker/parent, and that Pam has a long journey ahead of her which will culminate in her learning to love and cherish Tara. But that's for later.

In other news, Luna snaps at Sam while Eric, Bill and our new friend Nora are interrogated by the stooges of the Authority in New Orleans. At last we begin to see what the fabled Authority is like. Steve Newlin, wonderfully, has replaced Nan Flanagan as the TV face of vampires.

We also learn of vampire mythology, courtesy of their Bible; God, it seems, was a vampire, and his first creation was a vampire, the mythical Lilith. Humans exist only as cattle. And yes, vampires have their fundamentalists. Nora is said to be one, which is interesting. The Authority does not approve.

Terry and his war mate head off to further their sub-plot, Tara is most displeased to find herself a vampire, but what loons largest is the Authority. We even see the Chancellors in session with their boss, Roman, a great believer in mainstreaming. Bill offers them Russell Edginton in a desperate attempt to save his and Eric's lives, and the last thing we see is Russell himself...

A superb and tantalising episode, then, in which things begin to take shape...

True Blood: Soul of Fire

"Why are you on top of me?"

"Because you're handsome."

This penultimate episode starts from Jessica's POV, as the cavalry starts their assault on Marnie and her hostages. Unfortunately Marnie's binding spell, plus Sookie being inside, throws a spanner into the works and delays the final confrontation until the season finale. Who'd have thunk it?

Jesus, however, has a plan. It better work, because Marnie is increasingly revealing herself as the psychopath that always lurked beneath the diffident outsider; hers is a deep and complex character realised superbly by Fiona Shaw.

In other plot lines Sam and Luna find Emma and fight Marcus, and Andy has random sex with a fairy called Maurella, an act which is bound to have consequences. Meanwhile Alcide, seeing Debbie with Marcus, abjures her, but all of this is a fascinating sideshow. We return to the main event as Jesus' spell works. But there's an episode to go...

This is an intense, action-packed episode with relatively little timely stop and breathe, but that's all part of the True Blood tapestry. Brilliant.

True Blood: I'm Alive and on Fire

"Don't fuck this up. How many retired kings do you know?"

Eric has just killed and drunk from Claudine, a full-blooded fairy, and is therefore as pissed as a fart. It's all rather amusing, but also serves to underline how very real and unfeigned is his love for Sookie.

Less sweetly, Jason is gang-raped while Crystal, in the midst of raping him, is moved to tears by the joys of having (for her) truly consensual sex for the first time in her life. It's all very dark. Meanwhile Bill comes under pressure from Nan Flamagan while the source of Marnie's power is revealed as a poor woman burnt at the stake during the Spanish Inquisition.

Sam, meanwhile, visits Luna unexpectedly, and gets on well with Emma, her little girl. By the laws of television drama they are all doomed. This is the episode, I think, where we begin to get a sense of the shape of the season, and I like it. 

It's good to have a one-off bit of comedy, though, such as Bill discovering that his potential new girlfriend- a Bellefleur- is a descendent of his. Oops. That'll be him free to get back with Sookie at some point, then. How convenient.

Jason is finally rescued by Jessica and Hoyt, but is understandably traumatised- the light is juxtaposed with the dark. 

We end with Tommy trapped back into his parents' malevolent clutches, while Pam's attempt to stop Marnie results in her falling victim to a rather minging rotting spell...

True Blood: She's Not There

"I have a fairy godmother???!!!"

This is certainly the weirdest season opener so far as Sookie begins in the Land of Faerie hearing an awful lot of exposition- Claudine is her fairy godmother; her Grandad Earl is alive and with them in Fairyland; there's a hint of malevolence behind the surface sweetness... and they don't want her to leave. Especially that.

Most weird is how slowly time passes there- her grandad, absent for twenty years, thinks he only saw her last week, as a little girl- which makes me think of the capricious faeries of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. When she finally escapes back to Bon Temps, at the cost of her Grandad's life, she's been gone thirteen months. Oops. People are quite upset. And Jason's sold the house. To Eric.

Things have happened over that year. Jason, for example, has been hand waved into an actual cop. Andy is now a hopeless V addict. Jessica and Hoyt's relationship is showing cracks. Lafayette now has a cool Mohican, and he is persuaded by Jesus to attend a Wiccan event presided over by Marnie, who must be important because she's  portrayed by Fiona Shaw. Sam is now embracing his shifter side, hanging out with other shifters. Meanwhile, Arlene's baby Mikey is looking more and more as though he should have been called Damian. That's a lot of stuff to kick off a new season.

If this new status quo wasn't enough to ponder, Bill is now King of Louisiana, Marnie's group turns out to be capable of real magic of a very Alan Moore kind, and Crystal's family are locking Jason up in an ice box. I love True Blood.

True Blood: I Smell a Rat

"No dancing, no religion!"

Right from the off we start with Bill providing the big reveal about what Sookie is: she's a fairy- this makes me reminisce about Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, which is no bad thing. And it's significant; the fae were seemingly wiped out of existence by vampires, their blood having legendary properties for them. Sookie, though, is not fully faerie, just with some ancestry, notably through her grandfather. Still, wow.

Jadon has killed Franklin, which is good, but this sets off guilty flashback of him killing Eggs (and Eddie the vampire; blokes whose names begin with "E" should steer clear), which is not. 

We then get an unexpected flashback of Sam, then a thief, in 2003, being swindled by his then-girlfriend and her bloke. This is completely out of the blue. It's shocking, later in the episode, to see him kill them, and he spends most of the episode in a bad mood, tired of being a nice guy who gets walked all over... but the way this is done just feels inconsistent and out of character, mostly from being so sudden. It's a rare misstep in the writing.

Crystal's family really are scum; apparently she has to marry Frlton; after all, it's not as though women's bodies belong to themselves or anything.this is dark territory, but there are large parts of Afghanistan and South Asia where this goes on all the time, a probable allusion. Oh, and they're all were-panthers... 

A brief cameo of Steve Newlin (remember him?) on the telly in Merlotte's reminds us that, out in the world, Edgington's public act last episode is having huge ramifications. And at last, after a big argument, Tara starts to talk to Sookie about the fact she's been raped. Meanwhile we discover that Holly is a Wiccan and, surprisingly, Jesus wants him and Lafayette to do V together.

This leads to delightfully trippy and well-directed scenes which indicate that both of them are descended from magicians, and True Blood seems to have a very trippy, Alan Moore conception of magic- very interesting, especially Jesus' warlock grandfather.

Meanwhile, Jason tells the truth to Tara with predictable results and, horribly, Jessica finds a burning cross on her lawn. Still, at least it seems that she and Hoyt are back together. So are Sookie and Eric, with Sookie chained up in exactly the same place as Lafayette was...

True Blood: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues

"Well, that sucks. Not in a good way."

Interesting; the King is nearly 3,000 years old, old enough to learn contempt for blind tradition but not as wise as the much younger Godric. I wonder which civilisation he comes from, and if he can even remember?

But there's little scope for such reflection as Sookie and Bill are utterly betrayed by Eric. Bill is sent to the slave quarters to be tortuously executed- by Lorena of all people. Cue various scenes of TV-friendly torture and, on her part, much emo.

Meanwhile Lafayette and Jesus are still a sweet couple; there's a contrasting spikiness between Jason and the decidedly non-kinky Crystal. After sex, though, she vanished, telling Jason that she won't see him again. This being a television drama, of course, we know she will.

Edgington, in a chat with Eric, reveals his motives; much as he despises werewolves he works with them in the grounds that demihumans must unite against humans, who are despoiling the Earth. He has a point, although I wonder whether vampires would truly be willing to forgo their carbon-guzzling gizmos.

Alas, Lafayette's sweet relationship with Jesus is seemingly ended by the revelation that he does drugs. A less sweet relationship also begins as Russell forcibly proposes to the cash-strapped Queen of Louisiana, presumably meaning his annexation of the state. More satisfying is Tara's escape, as she violently kills the loathsome rapist Franklin in highly satisfying scenes.

Jason's reunion with Crystal after tracking her down doesn't go as hoped; not only does she deny having met him but she has a thuggish fiancé, Felton. What's going on here? And what's the secret with Sam's birth family? All this has to wait over the mid-season break. Naturally we get a big cliffhanger as an escaped Sookie and Tara are attacked by Lorena as a dying Bill lies helpless..

It's all good stuff. But given the ending I'm grateful for box sets...

True Blood: It Hurts Me Too

"I got your rug all wet!"

The King is still very curious about Bill and Sookie; why has he not turned her, as he did with Talbot centuries ago? It's that old chestnut again. Elsewhere, Sookie and Eric both realise they need to go to Jackson, Mississippi to find Bill.

Elsewhere, Tara has what she is determined to be a one night stand with vampire Franklin, while Jason finds his obsession for this season; he wants to be a cop. Oh dear. It's not good for Arlene, either: her baby can't possibly be Terry's and must be Rene's. Again, oh dear.

Nobody has a particularly good time; Tara sits tearfully through Eggs' sparse funeral as Bill has an unhappy flashback from 1868 which explains why he could never again see his family, Sam's birth family start to sponge off him and Bud quits as sheriff after one murder too many.

Bill's flashback seems thematically related to his acceptance of service to the King; has he dumped Sookie in doing so? This is paralleled (a device this series uses a lot) as Eric underlines Lafayette's status as his V-dealing employee with a gift of a swampy car. More ominously, Franklin visits Tara and glamours her. And Sookie meets the mysterious Alcide.

Again, so much going on. But it's all good stuff and I'm intrigued where this very unpredictable season is headed...

True Blood: Hard-Hearted Hannah

"Did you know that there was an actual vampire pope back in the Middle Ages?"

Sookie's undercover mission into the cult is going to be assisted by Hugo, also a human love of a vampire, in his case Isabel. After Barry, Sookie finds yet another parallel to herself in Dallas.

Before the mission, though, a flashback from 1926 ("Fuck Prohibition" indeed) introduces us Lorena, Bill's maker and former lover; for us Buffyverse fans, his Darla. And yet... he never loved her, and when he realises this he stops killing humans. I'm sure this relationship has a long way to go; she certainly still loves him.

Sam and Daphne, both shapechangers, are really connecting, and by all rules of drama they therefore cannot last. She encourages Sam to be more open about what she is, and reveals she was attacked by the beast that went for Sookie, and survived.

Sookie and Hugo have an interesting chat: she won't "turn" him, and he feels unwanted for this; will she still want him when he's old? This is an awkward question that Sookie and Bill will have to face.

Maryann is coming across more and more like a child, but Tara finds evidence of what has been happening during one of Eggs' increasingly prevalent blackouts- a clearing, the site of what looks like an orgy and, perhaps, human sacrifice, although both of them hide from the inplication. By now, for the viewer, there's no doubt that Maryann is the big bad of the season.

Meanwhile, Lafayette suffers a panic attack. It's devastatingly powerful to see someone so confident and witty so vulnerable and afraid. Strangely, Eric wants him to deal in V again.

Meanwhile, Jason gets further indoctrinated and has more sex with Sarah, Hoyt and Jessica continue to be the sweetest couple ever, and we end with a shock; Daphne was leading Sam into a trap all along. She's working for Maryann, and it seems he's to be sacrificed...

Brilliant. Again.

True Blood: Shake and Fingerpop

"I am a vampire- I'm supposed to be tormented."

It's becoming increasingly apparent that the character of Bill works quite well, intentionally or not, as a deconstruction of Angel from, er, Angel; he's tormented, yes, but he's not stupidly guilty about it. He's mature, realistic and, best of all, not treated over-seriously by the script as this big romantic Byronic hero. After all, it's a trope that practically invites mockery.

Anyway, Sookie is off to Dallas with Bill, Jessica is prevented from popping her cherry with Hoyt (those two are sweet), and Jason is continuing to be rather crudely indoctrinated by the Fellowship of the Sun in a storyline which, while both amusing and serving to get us to know the organisation, feels as though it's being dragged out somewhat.

Meanwhile, that monster in the woods has another victim, and Tara has the first nice birthday of her entire life, poor girl, but the disturbing presence of Maryann hangs over everything. She seems wise, in a way, but also immature and hedonistic. I'm still not sure what she's about.

Andy continues his downward spiral, handing in his badge. Lafayette, now Eric's bitch, gets healed with his 1,000 year old blood and watched The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, sensible chap. Sookie and Bill arrive in Dallas to intrigue; there's clearly a traitor about. 

Godric, the missing sheriff vampire, is over 2,000 years old, twice Eric's age. I suggest this storyline is going to lead to some epic revelations. Oh, and Barry is a mind reader- Sookie isn't the only one?

In other storylines, Daphne knows what Sam is. And Maryann's party tonight is huge and mad. Again. There's so much going on at the moment. I love this season.

True Blood: Keep This Party Going

"This isn't a fight."

"Yes it is!"

Ooh, intriguing- Lafayette is about to become a vampire, and loyal to Eric?

We also hear about a missing vampire, very old, in the Dallas area; this is a plot thread if there ever was one, and Eric will shortly be involving Sookie, whether Bill likes it or not. We get crucial scenes establishing the togetherness of Sookie and Bill, all loved up; something is therefore going to go pear-shaped for them very soon.

We see Jason's experiences at the absurd and transparently pointless "leadership conference". He's a fool, and everyone knows this; others have to wait years to get on the course, years of abstinence from sex and alcohol, two things that I for one could not live without. No wonder we begin to see signs of resentment. I wonder also if Sarah, a himbo on the surface, may really be the manipulating hand behind it all.

We see more about Maryann, ensconced in Sam's bar for several hours. She eats a huge amount of food; whatever she does- and everyone seems to be in high spirits- must clearly take a lot of energy.all very curious. Apparently she's from Cape Cod but, when Sookie reads her mind, she hears a language other than English. And she's powerful enough, and cruel enough, to turn poor Sam into a dog at will.  Curiouser and curiouser. Still, at least she's brought Tara and Eggs together- quite clearly on purpose.

This isn't a good episode for Sookie; she falls for Jessica's transparent plea to look at her family from afar; it's obvious, at least to the viewer, that she means to kill her abusive dad. Bill arrives to save the day, but he's not best pleased with the gullible Sookie. At all.

There's a lot going on this season; this is absolutely fascinating.

True Blood: The Fourth Man in the Fire

"I don't think my boyfriend likes silver!"

Yeah, this is another good episode, let's just say that straight up. A lot of it consists of Amy's and Jason's trippy relationship, full of good sex, good drugs and bad vibes, especially when Amy gets Jason to help her kidnap Eddie, the rather docile vampiric source of Lafayett's supply, so they can presumably use him as a V-Juice cow until he dies. Lovely.

Bill isn't dead. Quelle surprise. And he makes quite an entrance. Cue lots of sex and a happy Sookie. Poor Tara isn't so happy, with her mother having swapped hardcore addiction to drink with a hardcore addition to religion, which she is pushing on to her daughter with appalling aggression. Poor Tara isn't having an easy time of it, and manages to mess up her ambiguously sexual relationship with Sam. Poor Tara.

We end with Sookie being summoned to (groan) "Fangtasia by the mysterious boss-man Eric, "sheriff of Area Five", who uses her to find out who's been embezzling money off him. She finds out who, but only at the cost of a perilous cliffhanger...

Oh, and a prediction: one of either Arlene or Rene will die before the wedding.

True Blood: Escape from Dragon House

"I got gout of the dick!"

Dawn being dead isn't good for Jason: it seems that the last two women he's slept with have been murdered. Oops. Understandably the local constabulary are raising the odd eyebrow and there is much gossip in Bon Temps, particularly from a rather unpleasantly nosey aunt. Worse, Jason has to swallow all the V-Juice in the back of the police car for fear of being caught with it, and much of the rest of the episode consists of the delightful details of what this does to his cock. Still, at least he and the lovely Tara get to bond a little over his intense genital  pain. Still wouldn't want to be him though, although for the first time in my life I have to praise some wanking acting.

Still, Sookie and Bill are having "fun" at the vampire bar Fangtasia (groan), where we first meet the old any mysterious boss's vampire Eric and his strangely sexy underlying, Pam. There's also an interesting chat between Sookie and Sam which makes explicit the thematic parallels between vampires and black people on this, the Deep South. Race is foregrounded as a theme as Sookie points out that Sam is supporting "separate but equal". Meanwhile, Bill is pulled over in his car by a cop because of his race. We've got plenty of time to see if this theme develops much. We have vampires, black and white characters, the complex legacy of the 1861-65 War of Secession and so many apologists for the slaveholders, like Sookie's grandmother.

We also get flashbacks to Tara's childhood and her abusive, alcoholic mother. Poor Tara. It's a compliment to all involved that I'm getting so attached to these characters.

This is one addictive series; I'm actually on episode nine as I write...