Batman: Catwoman Goes to College & Batman Displays His Knowledge

Catwoman Goes to College

"I just heard there's to be a spontaneous demonstration in Chime Square tonight."

Terrible news: this is Julie Newmar's final appearance as Catwoman. This is, of course, devastating news. She is at once superb, sexy and a real mistress of comic timing- and has real, electric chemistry with Adam West. She will be missed.

This is a very 1967 episode, concerned with the new (for then) phenomenon of student protests, although of course there's certainly no political context here, no civil rights or Vietnam. Instead there's Catwoman who, although apparently dead, is being rather generously paroled from prison, and enrolling at uni to do, appropriately enough, criminology. Sadly, all the students- many of them suspiciously old- wear ridiculous uni garb.

It's an odd beginning- a Batan statue is stolen in a suspected student prank- but the plot matters not, here; quite rightly, we have set pieces designed to give Julie a fitting swansong, plus an amusing sequence in which "Captain Courageous", a cop transferred from California, arrests the framed Batman.

It's amusing to see the duo captured again by Catoman's feminine wiles, and a suitably acidic cliffhanger...




Batman Displays His Knowledge

"The way we get into these scrapes, and out of them- it's almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations."

The above line, from the Boy Wonder after the cliffhanger resolution, does splendid violence to the fourth wall. Not only is the author not dead as M. Barthes insists, he is God.

I note the students are spoken of only as "misguided" and potentially jeopardising their futures by protesting- there's no suggestion that democracies need a right to protest, not any consideration that the morals may depend on the cause. But this is prime time network television, and an episode where a French fence turns out to also be a fencer, because of course. Rhere's also the best farcical secret identity scene yet as Alfred types out slow responses from "Bruse Wayne" to the Commissioner.

But we end with the most sexually charged scene between Catwman and Batman yet, and that's saying something. Julie is amazing.

Goodbye, Julie. You're the best Catwoman ever and always will be. I'll miss you.

Batman: That Darn Catwoman & Scat, Darn Catwoman

That Darn Catwoman

"Chief O'Hara, had you ever seen this Titian-haired wench before?"

Every single episode we've had which featured both Julie Newmar as Catwoman and Stanley Ralph Ross as scriptwriter- a marriage made in Heaven- has been utterly terrific thus far. But with this two parter Batman hits heights it seldom reaches. I'm not one of those who likes to make lists f putative favourite episodes but, if I were, this two-parter would be very much in contention.

Curious, then, that this story is far from following the standard pattern. Not only is Catwoman’s accomplice Pussycat played by contemporary singer Lesley Gore, who even gets to perform pretty much two whole songs, crudely crowbarred in over both episodes, and deliberately so, but Robin is brainwashed in the very first scene and spends almost the whole story behaving like a juvenile delinquent from central casting. It’s not hard to see fear of the younger generation here, very prevalent in 1967, as previously goodie-goodie adolescents would suddenly start growing their hair, taking drugs, dropping out or, worse, questioning things like Jim Crow or the Vietnam War, which was really hitting up by this point. We therefore have a gloriously silly brace of episodes which nevertheless address some very real anxieties.

All this plus some truly excellent silly dialogue throughout the episode gives us something very special. So what if Catwoman is suddenly appearing a lot? At this point she’s the best name in Batman’s rogues gallery. It’s fun seeing a bridge to “New Guernsey” or the blatantly signposted Catlair.  


Scat, Darn Catwoman

"One should always keep abreast of foreign tongues, Robin."

Even the cliffhanger is more interesting than usual- Batman must surrender or die, and seemingly surrenders. But I love how we’re allowed to see Batman taking a Batpill on a hilarious pretext shortly before he’s drugged- at no point are we expected to actually believe he’s under Catwoman’s spell; that’s part of the fun. And Adam West’s performance is at once fun, extraordinary and opens the door for some delightfully tense flirting.

Not that Burt Ward isn’t being excellent, of course, although Robin is soon captured and turned. And the final car chase and chase on foot between Catwoman and Batman is at once exciting and believably romantic, yet with tongue never being removed from cheek. And her apparent death at the end is both satisfyingly inconclusive (she will be back) and reassuring in that this is one car who should never be caged. Absolutely wonderful stuff.

Batman: The Sandman Cometh & The Catwoman Goeth

The Sandman Cometh

"Sweet dreams, Sandman."

It's incredible to think but, more than halfway through the second season and, indeed, more than halfway through overall, everything up to and including this story, broadcast on 28th and 29th December in the USA, was first screened in 1966, just one calendar year- and yet sixty-eight episodes and a movie were crammed into that time, which is extraordinary.

Also notable is that the wonderful Julie Newmar is back, probably by now having appeared enough times that she can finally be considered as one of the perennial returning villains. This is a very good thing, as Julie Newmar is sexy and awesome. Also awesome is the excellent Michael Rennie as promising new villain Sandman. And yet...

In teaming the two villains up- including a new villain who needs room to breathe- the result is that we feel short-changed with both baddies, neither of whom gets enough screen time. It's also obvious that Catwoman was crowbarred into an exiting Sandman script at a late stage, not a good thing from any perspective.

A shame, as the underlying story is solid, and this is far from a bad episode, just an overcrowded one. I love the character of J. Paul Spaghetti, but all Catwoman actually dos here is lie on a mattress while Sandman drives a plot clearly themed around him. What she does, unfortunately, with Julie Newmar being amazing, is completely ruin this promising new baddie.


The Catwoman Goeth

"Where's Robin?"

"Who...?"

This episode is better, with Robin in Catwoman's cramped looking maze and the hilarious sight of a run down factory being called "Run Down Factory"- and Batman getting into near-trouble for traffic violations. There's a rather perfunctory cliffhanger escape, but that's nothing new. I love the description of J. Pauline Spaghetti's previous husbands and their absurd deaths. We even get a by-now rare outing for the Batboat.

And yet we still have the same problem- Catwoman ruining what should be Sandman's story by outshining him. Yet again there's some delicious Batman/Catwoman flirting, and Alfred hilariously giving Batman a lift on his silly "Alf-cycle". Behind the ill-advised inclusion of Catwoman there's a decent couple of episodes here, but alas that's not what reaches the screen.

Batman: The Cat's Meow & The Bat’s Kow Tow

The Cat’s Meow

“Oh, nonsense, Chief O’Hara. I know a reformed woman when I see one.”

Oh my. Catwoman is back, so let there be much rejoicing... and this two parter is utterly, spendidly bonkers, Let's just examine what it's about:

• Catwoman has some sort of MacGuffin thingy that can steal people's voices.
• Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara foolishly believe Catwoman to have reformed because, essentially, they're hopelessly naive and she's flirty with them. Then again, she is rather delectable.
• Her plot involves a singing duo called Chad and Jeremy, who play themselves. I've never heard of them, but a little light Googling tells me that, while a one hit wonder here in their native UK, they had loads of hits in America. Blimey. I love their witty, Ringo-like press conference, and their confession to Aunt Harriet that they are only being pop stars so they can become brain surgeons and fancy lawyers.
• Once again Julie Newmar is superb- she's really perfected Catwoman's mannerisms, and once again gets to play her in another amusing disguise, this time a dance teacher. 
• The cliffhanger is essentially a version of Chinese water torture intended to turn Batman and Robin into mindless sex slaves.

There's a reason why I've come to see the name of Stanley Ralph Ross as the harbinger of what is likely to be a superior script. All this is utterly doo-lally. I love it.


The Bat’s Kow Tow

“A bit on the groovy side, aren't they?"

The cliffhanger resolution- finding the right note to shatter the glass in the echo chamber- is hilarious. So is Catwoman's stealing Chad and Jeremy's voices to blackmail us in Blighty, on the grounds that they pay so much income tax our "Empire" would collapse, taking the world economy with it. Even funnier is Batman's lengthy explanation of the economic consequences if Catwoman stealing the voices of everybody in the whole world.

And then we have the British consulate, and the delightfully stereotypical Sir Sterling Habits, who answers a phone call from back home with "Oh, Harold, how are you?". I'm loving every minute of this episode- and then we get the final scrap, and the exquisite flirting and near-kiss as Batman nicks Catwoman. The chemistry between the two of them is electric- I love how pleased she is when he describes her scheme as "one of your best".

None of the above has anything to do with cats. I don't care. Much more Catwoman please.

Batman: The Greatest Mother of Them All & Ma Parker

The Greatest Mother of Them All

"Her legs remind me of Catwoman."

"Yu're growing up, Robin..."

After this second season has given us a few stories of varying quality we suddenly get this wonderful work of genius. This is certainly the wittiest, most original and enjoyable script yet, and a real highlight of the series, with Shelley Winters having infectious fun as the mother of a gang of notorious hillbillies who have come to Gotham.

Ma Parker gets a splendid introduction- winning an award for mother of the year and announcing "This is a stick up!" while receiving her award, robbing all the other ladies including one who protests at being called fat. And this story dispenses completely with the usual storytelling formula, showing us a group of baddies who, cleverly, want to be captured and put into prison for their own nefarious purposes. But it's all such fun.

I love the first scene with Bruce and Dick, as the surprisingly learned Aunt Harriet puts Dick through his Ancient Greek grammar. Also wonderful is Ma Parker insisting that her "boys" at their meal properly as their hideout is surrounded. We even have a rocket powered wheelchair. But the climax is clever and unusual; Mar Parker and her "boys" are caught suspiciously easy, but over months they've planned to take over the prison, a perfect base of operations for crime. and as for Batman and Robin, it's Speed, twenty-five years early...


Ma Parker

"Only forty-eight years until your next parole."

"Gee, I never thought of that. In forty-eight years, I'll be a free man!"

The above two lines alone put this episode into the annals of true greatness.But on top of this we get a cameo from Julie Newmar as Catwoman (Joker and Penguin are apparently in solitary, unable to accept Ma as top dog!). But things don't last, in spite of a suspicious inspection by a returning dynamic duo, saved from being blown to pieces by a fifty-five mph speed limit, which is perfect, as Warden Crichton- quite a regular character- ultimately spills the beans.

The Caped Crusaders nearly get a jolt from electric chairs (a tasteless item, surely?) but are saved by Morse code. This second episode has a lot o work to do and doesn't quite sparkle quite as much, but there's no doubting that this two parter is one of the finest so far.

Batman: Hot Off the Griddle & The Cat and the Fiddle

Hot Off the Griddle

"The marchioness of misdemeanours is a wily opponent."

This two-parter has the same writer as last week's travesty, yet this time it's an absolute triumph of wit and high camp; perhaps Stanley Ralph Ross should simply avoid all things mediaeval. Of course, it also helps that we have the wonderful and sexy Julie Newmar back as Catwoman in what is, incredibly, only her second appearance- with Lee Meriweather usurping her rightful place in the movie. Whatever the reason for that, it's great to see this wonderful actress back.

I love these epithets we keep getting- "the countess of criminality", "the viscountess of venality". And the deliberately ridiculous idea of a gossip columnist working from a phone booth inside a chemists, which is delightfully bonkers. Then we have the constant po-faced reminder to "be prepared", Catwoman's kinky cat burglary lessons, and a dancing Aunt Harriet. This is Batman at is very best and, after last week, it's a relief to find the programme's mojo very much intact.

Interestingly, for the first time, Catwoman flirts with Batman near the end. Although her idea of courtship is to set up an elaborate deathtrap with giant magnifying glasses. Very kinky...


The Cat and the Fiddle

"But hark- the ghastliest goings-on are yet to transpire!"

I suppose using the solar eclipse as a resolution to the cliffhanger is a bit cheeky but, to be fair, it was heralded at the start of last episode. But all is forgiven as Batman makes the fourth wall wobble by remarking to Robin how curious it is that they always survive their deathtraps, only to stop the wobbling by saying it's because of their "true hearts".

And so the fun continues, with Catwoman disguising herself as a sprightly old millionairess in a plot to steal some Stradivariuses (Stradivarii, as Catwoman says?) and, er, leave the Gotham State Building in a "getaway rocket" with several sets of handlebars. This is superbly bonkers stuff. We even have Batman insisting on paying to park the Batmobile- "Good citizenship, you know". And not long afterwards we get "Good grammar is essential, Robin".

We end with Batman saving the defeated Catwoman's life... and definite sparks between her and a blushing Caped Crusader. But she's going down for ten to twenty years...

I loved every minute of this two-parter. More Catwoman please. Much more.

Batman: The Purr-fect Crime & Better Luck Next Time

The Purr-fect Crime

"You can brush my pussy willows before you leave..."

We finally meet the last of Batman's iconic foes to appear- and Julie Newmar is incredible- charismatic, sexy and downright kinky, first seen threatening her two minions, both dressed as cats, with her cat o' nine tails.Even the opening teaser is nicely done, with a bit of cat burglary, and we get one of the wittiest high camp scripts yet as the Dynamic Duo are led to Catwoman's lair to be toyed with as a kitten does to a spider.

Batman's deadly straight goody-goodiness has never been more splendidly apparent- Robin is reminded that "you haven't fastened your safety bat belt" but approvingly told that "I'm gad you're up on your foreign languages, Robin. They come in handy when fighting crime".

But it all leads inexorably to the exquisite set of traps set by the sexy, clever Catwoman, whose witty puns and classical allusions (she mentions Damon and Pythias) show her to be a cut above lesser villains.


Better Luck Next Time

"Pets are a responsibility!"

It actually looks, in the scene with Batman at least, that this is no stock footage and Adam West was acting with a real tiger. I don't know whether to be impressed, alarmed or both. But this whole early segment where the Dynamic Duo are subjected to feline deathtraps is enormous fun. So is the fact that Catwoman says "TTFN"; apparently this was actually a thing in 1966. So, indeed, is the fact that Robin's reaction to being covered in catnip and gradually lowered into a pit containing two hungry tigers  is "Catwoman, you are not a nice person."

We end with Catwoman pursued by the Dynamic Duo and their gadgets as, having betrayed her underlings, she finds some buried treasure- only to plunge to her apparent doom purely because of greed. We don't see a body, naturally.

That was magnificent. This Catwoman is sexy but fiendishly clever with it, with not a whiff of the tendency this programme often has to reform its female baddies. This is one of the best stories yet.