Back to the Future, Part III (1990)

“My horse broke down...”

There’s a difference between our favourite films ever and the ones we objectively think are best, and it’s the second list that is likely to feature all those intellectual films that we may regard highly but tend not to use as comfort food. Back to the Future, Part III is my favourite film of all time. And no, it isn’t as “good” as cleverer films with more to say; it’s a blockbuster. It just happens to be the most perfect blockbuster that has ever been made or ever will be.

This is the third and final film in a series that starts as excellent and just gets better with every film, and which is so uber-familiar that we forget how good it is. But we have the timey-wimey plot, with an opening scene that manages to recap both of the previous film, along with a superbly constructed Western pastiche that gives us yet more versions of the McFlys and a villainous Tannen, along with lots of adventure, thrills and even romance. And comedy. Lots of that. And yet again the great Christopher Lloyd is superlatively good. In fact, Doc is the real hero of the trilogy, isn’t he? Marty is just this kid who isn’t that bright and is a bit bland. Well, until you call him a chicken, that is. It’s Doc who invents the time machine, acts the hero and even, this time, gets the girl. Marty is just the Boswell to his Johnson, the Hans Castorp to his Settembrini, the person through whose eyes we see it all and with a heroic arc of his own, but very much a sidekick.

So why is this third film my favourite? I think it’s because we know the drill by now, we can have more fun with this 1885 Hill Valley as we know the later ones so very well by now- we get by far the best version of Strickland, too. It doesn’t have to be extremely timey-wimey- it’s done that- so can explore the fun of the Western setting more. And it has a kickass conclusion, with Marty learning a lesson that helps him to avert his bleak future, and us getting to see Doc’s new family (let’s just not think about his age here) and a time travelling train.

And there are great touches- Doc in 1955 hasn’t heard of Clint Eastwood and is amazed to hear that Japanese parts in 1985 are considered the best. Doc gets utterly bladdered after one shot of whiskey. But this film works because it has heart, it has plot, it has humour and it has characters, all combined perfectly. Sod it, this is one of the greatest films of all time.

Back to the Future: Part II (1989)

" I know you just sent me back to the future, but I'm back. I'm back from the future."

"Great Scott!"

I’ve blogged a shocking 590 films, not including this one. That’s a lot. And I find, the more films I blog, the more I feel have to ration out those handful of absolute favourite films ever for fear of having none of them left to blog. But it’s getting a bit ridiculous that I still haven’t re-watched and blogged this, one of my favourite films of all time, so here it is. One day I may even get around to Part III.

Back to the Future was an excellent film to start with, but this is one of those rare cases where a sequel can outshine it’s predecessor. Re-watching this after a while just confirms how awesome it is- after the first film’s fairly simple time travel plot it’s incredible to see how cleverly this film makes a plot about time paradoxes that is actually rather complicated when you think about it, and makes it palatable for a mainstream blockbuster audience with oodles of charm. Even the reprise at the beginning manages to subtly smooth over the recasting of Jennifer and a rather less famous George.

As ever, Michael J. Fox is superb as Marty but it’s that splendid physical comedy performance as Doc by the great Christopher Lloyd that gives the film it’s charismatic heart. Doc doesn’t half talk a load of cobblers about the consequences of time travel that he couldn’t possibly be sure about but you just don’t care because Doc is so captivating. I laughed out loud this time at the “reveal” of his rejuvenation where he removes his rubber mask... and looks exactly the same. So let us not pry to closely at the fact he already looks pretty old in 1955 (Christopher Lloyd was 46 when they made the first film) and so must be pretty old by now. Let us raise an amused eyebrow as he says, having seen the alternate 1985, that he wants to fix everything, abandon time travel and turn to that other great mystery- women. On that note, let us merely raise an eyebrow as he, Mary and Jennifer are in that flying DeLorean in 2015, he gives Marty a glance, and renders Jennifer unconscious to stop her female prattling. A feminist he is not. This scene had me agog. Oh, and let us not pry too closely into his arbitrary ethics if time travel in which it’s ok to prevent Marty’s son going to prison but not ok to prevent Marty becoming “a loser”.

Never mind any of that. This film is wonderful, especially the farce at the end where the first film is happening in parallel, and they realised the importance of getting James Tolkan back as Mr Strickland. The parallel 1985 is horrible, a brilliant creation. And the 2015 is extremely amusing from the vantage point of now- the Jaws and Cafe 80s jokes are the same now as they were then but I was amused to spot a phone booth of all things. I love the antique shop. And I was highly amused to see that Marty Senior gets fired by... fax. Yes, well. It’s also interesting to see Biff watching that scene from the Clint Eastwood western...

If you don’t love this film, you’re wrong. That is all.

Back to the Future (1985)

"You space bastard! You killed my pine!"

Two points before I start, ok? One: 1985 is further ago for us than 1955 was when this film was made. Two: look, this is Back to the Future. I realise that reviews are supposed to express an opinion as to the quality of the film or whatever, yes, but can we just cut the crap, acknowledge that this is a bloody great film, and talk about things that are more interesting?

I've seen this film many, many times but, barring the odd snippet, not for twenty years or so. That makes this reviewing an odd experience, with odd memories unexpectedly returning, and I'm finally getting the pop culture references such as Doc's "Devo suit" and Chuck Berry hearing Marty playing "Johnny B. Goode" over the phone, proving that I . The intricacies of the timey-wimey plot are truly to be admired, although, if I were to be churlish, I'd have to question the treatment of the butterfly effect. Marty has inadvertently changed the circumstances of his parents' meeting, and made his dad much more confident. Surely, then, history has changed in all sorts of chaotic and unpredictable ways so that the same sperm would not have fertilised the same egg at the same time  and Marty would not have been born? Still, I'm no churl.

There are so many clever little things to admire- Marty's straitlaced mum being a rather normal teenager, jailbird Joey in the playpen, the little riffs on '50s sci-fi magazines. And then we have the Libyan terrorists in their, er, camper van. And Doc, just prior to being shot, intending to visit the distant future of, er, 2010. And how the film blatantly compares 1955 favourably to the Reaganite 1985, but not in a reactionary way; the first thing we see when Marty returns to 1985 is a homeless man.

The script is brilliant. Michael J. Fox is brilliant. Christopher Lloyd is brilliant. And James Tolkan (Mr. Strickland) is a cinematic legend. This is an awesome film.

Masters of the Universe (1987)

"I don't like adventures!"

This is one of my absolute favourite rubbish films. Oh, it's rubbish alright. Eternia looks like a cheap set indoors and like Southern California outdoors, but despite this they had to save money by setting it on Earth, which I imagine would be much cheaper. Skeletor's mask looks rubbish, and poor old Frank Langella gets hilariously clichéd lines such as "A curious quartet" and "Gildor, you minute minion". What's an actor to do but ham it up? As for Dolph Lundgren's performance as He-Man… well, the credits show that he needed both a speech coach and a drama coach. 'Nuff said.

I love it, though. It wears its rubbishness with pride, and is full of dialogue that can only be deliberately hammy. The music is so very, very '80s, and so are the hairstyles. It even has James Tolkan in it, the chap who plays Mr Strickland in the Back to the Future trilogy, and he's one of my favourite actors. In fact, he's probably the best thing about this film.

Still… this is a commercial tie-in to the Masters of the Universe cartoon and toys, so we'd best talk about those. It's all pretty much a formative part of my childhood since the age of five, and I can still remember a disturbingly large number of character names. One of them was called Fisto. Hur Hur. Although I'm not sure what the relevance of the phrase "Masters of the Universe" was. It was all just a load of cynical marketing, of course, but we '80s kids lapped it up. The cartoon, which mostly only featured the same few characters, was a good laugh in spite of the recycled animation and plots, partly because of the deeply silly moral homily at the end of each episode. The backgrounds always looked fantastic, almost as druggy as the plot, and set up a very specific visual aesthetic that anchored this odd mix of sci-fi and fantasy.

This film is not exactly a faithful representation, which should come as no surprise; why should Hollywood creative types slavishly adhere to the rules laid down by a range of toys? Anyway, lots of the characters would be impossible to render well in live action on an obviously limited budget; look how rubbish Skeletor looks. I'm sort of glad they didn't try to do an Orko.

The whole aesthetic is different from the cartoon- very much a mix of the standard Hollywood '80s sci-fi and standard Hollywood fantasy. The overall effect is something much darker and less trippy which makes you much more aware of the inherent silliness of names such as "He-Man and "Evil-Lyn" than would have otherwise been the case. Orko is replaced by Gwildor who, as a fairly standard '80s Hollywood fantasy dwarf, is far more budget friendly. And Billy Barty is the second best thing about this film.

Oddly enough, it seems the director, Gary Goddard, was heavily inspired by Jack Kirby's New Gods stuff for DC. I've not read much of that, but I can see how that would have affected the aesthetic and how Skeletor would presumably be a sort of Darkseid figure. More obvious, though, are the suspiciously large number of, er, "homages" to the Star Wars trilogy. Let's look at them, Shall we?

·         Skeletor is accompanied by a load of black, armoured troops that seem suspiciously close to being stormtroopers.

·         The scene with Skeletor inspecting the bounty hunters is suspiciously close to the similar scene in The Empire Strikes Back. Just using the word "mercenaries" instead of "bounty hunters" doesn't fool me, I'm afraid.

·         The final fight, with He-Man throwing Skeletor down a big hole and the camera following him down for a few feet, is suspiciously close to the climax of Return of the Jedi. Come to think of it, Skeletor looks an awful lot like the Emperor.

That's all coincidence, I'm sure. For the rest, though, we have a fairly standard adventure plot, with the Cosmic Key as our McGuffin. We have Julie (a young Courteney Cox with… interesting hair) and Kevin as our audience identification characters because, obviously, we couldn't possibly be expected to identify with aliens. We have a ridiculously square-jawed, goody-goody hero and a silly, moustache-twirling villain. We have a henchman being zapped to death for failure. We have a silly comedy dwarf. It's all very by-the-numbers, really, but fun, and crammed with action and adventure, up to and including an exploding microwave.

I'm not sure about the ending, though. If Julie and Kevin are a few months back in time, what happened to their earlier selves? Doesn't this create a time paradox so that none of this ever happened? Oh, and if the cosmic key can cause time travel then why didn't our heroes just go back in time and stop Skeletor from doing anything naughty in the first place? Probably best not to think too hard about such things…