Doctor Who: Black Orchid

Part One

“Medium pace? Slow?”

“Fast.”

“Top hole!”

Another script by Terence Dudley, and I’ve no idea what to expect. Will it be another good ‘un, like Four to Doomsday? Or more drivel in the style of K-9 and Company? One thing’s for certain: he certainly watched Brideshead Revisited on ITV last year. It’s the 1920s, and the BBC does this period even more splendidly than it did the 17^th century in the last story. Everything about this story looks sumptuous. It’s just that its roots are showing rather obviously, what with its being set largely in an aristocratic country house in the ‘20s.

I had to laugh at the TARDIS landing a mere second after it would have been seen by the porter on the platform. Still, it’s a charming setting from the off. So much so that apparently even Tegan has now decided she’s not in such a hurry to get back to Heathrow after all, and wants to stick around a bit. All well and good, but it feels rather sudden.

There’s dialogue about the Great Fire of London which our heroes started at the end of the last story, which tends to deepen the sense of paradox even further- apparently the fire would have happened anyway. Eh? Even if the Terileptils had been left to get on with things? Perhaps we can retcon this to be a fixed point in time, but the only way the fire would have happened anyway is if the Terileptils’ plan was inevitably doomed, which rather does away with any sense of threat.

Anyway, back on topic. Our heroes are unexpectedly picked up by Lord Cranleigh’s chauffeur, and driven away in a rather fab looking car. The Doctor is expected, and is charged with a task of the utmost seriousness; Cranleigh himself is out for a duck, and his team is in the midst of a batting collapse. Can the Doctor save the day?

It’s an odd premise, and above all an odd idea for a Doctor Who story. This is often stated to be the first “pure historical” since The Highlanders, and obviously that’s true in the literal sense. But it doesn’t really belong in the same category as all those stories from all those years ago, being neither a comedy nor a serious rumination on history. I suppose it could be said to be a pastiche, doing for Brideshead Revisited what The Smugglers did for Doctor Syn, but this is no swashbuckler. No, this is a real oddity- not necessarily a bad thing, and this season has shown a commendable variety in types of story. 

There’s a lot of fun with the period, with words like “mater” and “ripping” being thrown around with abandon, Traken being “near Esher” and the party scenes are great fun, with Nyssa at last allowed to let her hair down a bit courtesy of Anne’s scheme. Plus Michael Cochrane’s great, and Tegan’s having fun, and is thus great again.

But after the initial fun of the party stops and the plot starts, it’s all quite slow, with the scenes of the Doctor lost in the priest hole dragging interminably.

Part Two

“Brazil?”

“Where the nuts come from…”

There’s some fun at the start, with Adric being a pig and Nyssa having fun, but sadly things become very tedious indeed as soon as the Doctor is accused of murder. I hate it when the device of our heroes being wrongly accused of things is used as a cheap dramatic hook- it’s lazy, and frustrating in a way which simply isn’t at all entertaining. The story never recovers from this, with the final revelation being that the story may look like Brideshead Revisited but it is in fact Jane Eyre with a touch of King Kong. But the lack of any significant clues early on in the story means the resolution comes out of left field. 

It’s also annoying to once more see pretty much most of the characters in the story being invited into the TARDIS for a short hop back to the house. This sort of thing is starting to become a real problem.

So overall, in spite of some charmingly amusing scenes at the beginning, in the end the story doesn’t really work dramatically. It looks great, but left me feeling rather annoyed with things. 2/5.

Doctor Who: The Myth Makers

Temple of Secrets

"Oh, but you have killed this poor fellow!"

"Yes, but in your name!"


It's clear from the start that we're in for a treat as the dialogue between Achilles and Hector is very funny indeed, as is the dialogue for the entire story. Odysseus is also great, cynical yet likeable, and a very contemporary interpretation of the character. I've always thought the comedy style of this episode to have a lot in common with the Beyond the Fringe, satire boom type comedy of the early to mid 60s. The treatment of the Trojan War here is very much the sort of thing I'd expect Pete, Dud and the other two to come up with, and there's no higher praise than that.

Basically, I'm going to spend this entire post gushing.

It's a very cynical yet also very modern view of war and "honour" we get here, with short shrift being given to any conception of war being at all glorious or honourable. Most of the characters are either cowards or fools. Even Menelaus isn't even that bothered about Helen's adultery; "If you must know I was heartily glad to see the back of her."

Already we can see that Hartnell is going to shine, as he always does in these types of stories.

Small Prophet, Quick Return

"Now don't be frightened, child. You shall die when I say so and not a moment before."


The Trojans turn out to be just as entertaining as the Greeks, and Max Adrian is excellent. In fact, the overall quality of the guest cast is exceptional throughout the story.

We "see" Vicki in the TARDIS wardrobe room- it's first "appearance". Oh, for some actual footage! And not for the first time, Vicki doesn't leave the TARDIS until some way into episode two.

The scene where Odysseus interrogates the Doctor and Steven is actually quite clever. For a start, he actually believes them when they tell him they're time travellers, both confounding our expectations and leaving us in no doubt that he's an extremely clever man underneath the cynicism. And although we already know what Odysseus' condition is going to be, and the plan the Doctor's going to inevitably come up with, the script milks our foreknowledge for maximum comic effect.

The scenes in Troy also sparkle, with the relationships between Priam, Paris and Cassandra being sketched out very economically through dialogue which also happens to be extremely witty: "You get back to the war. If you've not killed Achilles by nightfall I shall be seriously displeased". Priam's summing up of Cassandra, as having to predict the worst at all times as a sort of insurance policy to give her the "I told you so" factor at all times, is at the same time witty, accurate and dripping with dramatic irony.

The ensuing scene, with Paris very quietly shouting for Achilles and having to fight Steven is my favourite part of the story: "Well, I say, this sort of thing id just not done. Surely you'd rather die than be taken prisoner?"

A very effective cliffhanger, made all the more so by a very alarming title for the next episode.

Death of a Spy

"Woe to the House of Priam! Woe to the Trojans!"

"I think it's a bit late to say 'whoa' to the horse..."


Frances White is great as Casssandra, playing the character absolutely straight and being all the funnier for it. You can see why the Trojans pay her no attention.

It's nice to see the budding relationship between Vicki and Troilus getting some prior development, although it never quite seems convincing. There's nothing wrong with the way it's written or performed here, but it would have been nice to have some foreshadowing in earlier stories of Vicki's imminent departure.

Interesting line for a family show: "Upon my soul, you're making me as nervous as a Baccante at her first orgy"!

Horse of Destruction

"To be a prisoner of war is considered very bad form."


Katarina, rather surprisingly, only appears for the first time at the start of this episode.

I really have to praise the latest Loose Cannon recon here- not only are there lots of nice little touches (Frances White is shown with the hairstyle she presumably had in this story rather than I Clavdivs, no doubt through some technical jiggery-pokery) but there's a lot of moving footage, especially with scenes involving the horse in this episode.

There's plenty of wit still on show, but the episode is rather bleak and sombre, all the more so for being understated. The handling of Vicki's departure is interesting; we're not made privy to her final chat with the Doctor inside the TARDIS. Vicki's leaving everything behind to be with a bloke she's just met, from the 12th century BC, who thinks she's betrayed him, but the scene with Vicki and Troilus somehow works, and dammit, I cried. I'm sure Troilus and Cressida will be happy ever after, in no way eventually meeting a tragic fate.

Interesting final moments; Katarina's aboard the TARDIS more or less be accident, she's convinced she's going to die soon, and Steven's very badly hurt.


Overall, this is my new favourite story of all time. The dialogue was exquisite, and could almost have been written by Peter Cook. but unlike The Romans, another comedy, if of a very different sort, the regulars were in character and true to themselves throughout. Wonderful. I'd give it a 6/5 if I could.

Doctor Who: The Space Museum

The Space Museum

"You wouldn't say that, young lady, if we ever meet [the Daleks] again. Which to say the least is very unlikely."


Nice opening model shots, and an intriguing conceptual mystery from the start. The Doctor's continual refusal to explain is most amusing. Vicki's dropped glass un-breaking and jumping back into her hands deepens the mystery, and it's good to see the food machine again. It's also great to see the Dalek, and Vicki's lines about the Dalek invasion happened over three hundred years ago is our first explicit suggestion that all the TARDIS's landings in the future take place in the same timeline which should in theory be internally consistent.

This is a great episode driven by fantastic concepts, for once making actual use of the time travel premise of the show. Great cliffhanger, too.

The Dimensions of Time

"Chesterton, this is no time to be playing cowboys and Indians!"


Suddenly this story is looking a lot less visually interesting, with some very dull corridors and costumes. The actors playing the Xerons don't exactly imbue them with charisma either. The time travel concepts now fade into the background, although the TARDISeers' attempt to avoid their preordained fate will remain as an intriguing element.

The Doctor namedrops James Watt here, although Jacqueline Hill has to prompt Hartnell for the line. Nice line from Barbara: "All the doors and corridors are exactly alike." No doubt this is the one and only time we'll be hearing such sentiments...

The Doctor'd monocle is very cool indeed, but is very quickly topped by his antics in the Dalek. This story may look dull, and have Xerons in it, but otherwise I must admit it's keeping me interested.

The Search

"It's nothing to do with me! I'm just a simple soldier!"

So, no Doctor in this episode! it's good to see Vicki getting a chance to shine though. Her attitude is great: "Sitting here planning and dreaming of a revolution isn't going to bring your planet back!" It's rather arresting to see this revolution taking the form of acquiring guns though- certainly not something you'd see in later eras!

Why do the Xerons, just because they're the goodies, have to be a perfectly peaceful people, free from all want? Can't they be allowed just one tiny flaw?

The Final Phase

"Have any arms fallen into Xeron hands?"


Vicki continues to be great here, effectively directing the revolution. We get a nice ending, with the TARDISeers all imprisoned but Vicki's already ensured their release- she's the real star of the story.

The last scene comes as a real surprise though- Daleks! With a time machine! And now with vertical slats- it seems that the lost old style Dalek we saw was the one in the exhibition.


Overall, I quite enjoyed this. The first episode was great, with the others not being as good (par for the course for the science fiction stories so far), but a lot of the dullness was the fault of the design and some of the guest actors- the script was good throughout. This is nowhere near as boring as its reputation- a solid 3/5.