What If... T'Challa Became a Star Lord?

 "You are very articulate for a duck..."

"That, Sir, is very closed-minded!"

It's fascinating, with a second episode, to see what is just format and what is not. Hence we see the same intro with the Watcher, equally effective. But then we see a fascinating tale of T.Challa, in many ways a batter and more beloved Starlord, who even convinces Thanos(!) to join the Ravagers, is adored by Yondu, and tries hard to reconcile Nebula with her father. All while acting as an interstellar Robin Hood, naturally... and co-opting his foes, as the wonderful first scene demonstrates.

Chadwick Boseman is, of course, superb. T'Challa gets to be a huge hero, ending universal poverty and freeing Howard the Duck to boot. There's just the minor inconvenience, after a happy family reunion in Wakanda, that the world is going to end because the wrong Star Lord was chosen. Bummer.

Yes, this is, like all of this series, a short half hour bit of fun. But I loved it.

Snatch (2000)

"You know... fish and chips, cup of tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... London!"

I once saw this film, back in uni, and I watched it properly- i.e, after I'd seen Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Sadly I've yet to blog Mr Madonna's acclaimed debut, and am probably blogging things in the wrong order. Well, soz, but I haven't got either on DVD and it's Snatch that happens to be on Netflix. So here we are.

Anyway, I loved it. It's very of its time, very much trying to be a Cockney version of Tarantino, and not much different in style or theme to its predecessor. And no, it doesn't come close to Tarantino- it doesn't have the depth, wit or cinematic literacy, but not many films have. But it nevertheless manages to be funny, cool, and make a complex and non-linear plot easy to follow, which is not exactly an easy feat of writing or directing. And both the cast and direction are top notch. No, it may not be Pulp Fiction, much as its trying to be that kind of film, but it oozes charm and gets away with being derivative through its sheer Cockneyness. Bloody southerners.


I'd single out Jason Statham and a menacing Alan Ford for their performances, while Brad Pitt's performance is certainly unique. Is it racist in how it portrays Irish Travellers (not Roma)? Well, arguably they're eventually shown to be, if anyone is, the goodies, and we still live in a world where racism towards travelling peoples still seems to be seen as ok in a way other kinds of racism aren't- the film is probably no more racist in this area than the society that spawned it.

Aside from that, and a dodgy America-friendly reference to non-existent "social security numbers", the film is a splendidly enjoyable way to spend 100 odd minutes. Mr Madonna done good.

Licence to Kill (1989)

"There's more to this than just your personal vendetta!"

Meh. After a good Bond film we get a very late '80s action thriller, all very War On Drugs and macho, very Arnie or Sly or Bruce but not awful, if pretty average for its type- and then James Bond is crowbarred into this genre he doesn't suit, and it all gets rather awkward.

Essentially, Bond is the best man at Felix Leiter's wedding, a drug lord has Leiter's bride murdered and leaves Leiter for dead, and Bond spends the film out for revenge, in spite of the official disapproval but unofficial help from Q, and even an unofficial "good luck" from M. The whole thing feels utterly out of character, which is a shame because Timothy Dalton is outstanding here. But the whole thing stinks of '80s antihero vigilantism and the sort of depressingly uncritical view of the WR on Drugs that you would expect from 1989. Still, Robert Davi is superbly menacing as Sanchez.

This isn't a bad film, per se; as a film of its type it's perfectly decent if not great. But as a Bond film it adds nothing to the character or the franchise. Vigilantism bad; law and order good. That goes right back to Aeschylus and Bond really should know better.