Ninjas in real life are, or were, Japanese assassins and spies who did the dirty work that honourable samurai considered beneath them. Naturally, they cultivated the myth of magical powers, and were more commonly known ax "Shinobi", as we '80s Sega Mega Drive fans naturally know.
Sadly they do not seem to have survived into the modern era properly, despite what many "ninja schools" will tell you. Their modern popularity in the West owes a lot to You Only Live Twice, but really took off with hordes upon hordes of Eighties Ninja film, beginning with the alarmingly titled Enter the Ninja (1981). This is a not-particularly-distinguished example. It's awful, of course; terrible script, terrible acting, formulaic as they come. But when I say awful I don't mean awful. I mean gloriously awful. Plan 9 from Outer Space awful.
Where to begin? That contant silly "crunch" sound during the many martial arts scenes? The unironic evil laughter? The fact that Harry, the ninja hero, spends most of his time conversing with his badass underling Jaguar on his '80s Garfield phone and only gets off his arse in the last five minutes? Even the fact that a very '80s car chase involving, yes, a Ford Cortina, turns out to be Jaguar harassing his ex so he can sleep with her in highly dodgy scenes? Yes, that actually happens. So do death threats via little toy robots, and silly teleporting ninjas.
It's a terrible, terrible film, and I'm so glad to have seen it again.
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