Doctor Who: Empress of Mars

"We're British! Mars is part of the Empire now!"

You can always rely on Mark Gatiss to bring a good bit of fanwank, but this time round he does a splendid tale of post-colonialism in the format of a mummy film (shades of Tomb of the Cybermen crossed with Zulu) which has things to say about the colonial Victorian mindset, war, and more about the Ice Warriors than we've ever seen. We even get Alpha bleeding Centauri back, played by your actual Ysanne Churchman. And, just to rub in that this is written by an uber-fan, we get a delightfully gratuitous rehash of Mike Yates' "RHIP" line from Day of the Daleks.

It's so delightfully steampunk, so very Space:1889, for a bunch of Victorian soldiers from the First Boer War in 1881 to come across a Martian spaceship and be taken to Mars by an Ice Warrior whom they nickname "Friday". There's plenty of room for some fun with the tally-ho Victorian attitudes contrasted with the Martian martial attitude. The happy ending for the dishonoured colonel is positively heartwarming.

The Doctor and Bill continue t have excellent chemistry too, and I can't believe they have so little time together. I loved Bill's referencing of both The Terminator and The Thing (she's one of us) while the Doctor, in a move my two year old daughter would approve, instead chooses Frozen as his obligatory pop culture reference. But the dialogue sparkles and the chemistry between the two of them is a joy to behold.

But, for this old fan, the real meat of this episode is that, however much they may have appeared five times before, we've never before seen the Ice Warriors in their natural habitat, on Mars, or had any real reference to their history or culture. But this time we meet an Ice Queen, learning of how the whole race has slept for 5,000 years (linking nicely with The Ice Warriors), and how the oxygen is now escaping and the planet will soon be lifeless. It's a splendidly fanwanky moment as Alpha Centauri, last seen in, er, 1974 in Monster of Peladon, who welcomes the entire population of Mars into the Galactic Federation, a "New Golden Age", and presumably a New Mars.

But the end, with Nardole having to enlist Missy's help to pilot the TARDIS back to Mars, ends with a hint of sexual tension between the Doctor and a reformed/reforming Missy. What's happening here...?

Doctor Who: The Monster of Peladon

Part One

“I don’t want to leave Peladon without having a word with my good friend the king…”

“Namedropper!”

The first shot instantly tells us we’re on Peladon again, although this time it’s far more obvious that the citadel is just a matte painting. We get miners, bizarre hairstyles, and this rather cool looking alien from Vega who quickly gets killed. We also get Alpha Centauri, now far more annoying, and a very fit looking queen. Oh, and the Doctor’s hair has never been bigger.

This is a story made about miners in 1974, so it’s clear there must be a subtext about Edward Heath and the miners’ strikes of the time, but sadly I’m not so read up on this to be able to spot any parallels. This seems to be a very left-wing script though, especially from a post-Thatcher perspective. The Doctor even states at one point “When miners have to take up arms to protect their rights, they probably have reasons.”

Part Two

“How unfortunate! What a catastrophe! Has she been harmed?”

The Doctor rather stupidly lets the miners know how to open the armoury door, in an alarmingly lazy bit of plotting which hints to us that this may not turn out to be any good. There’s also a lot of tiresome mistrust of the Doctor by Ortron to fill up time- I hate this kind of thing; only Malcolm Hulke is really able to pull it off. And Alpha Centauri is getting really annoying.

It’s interesting to compare what this story is saying about the Federation to what we heard in The Curse of Peladon- if the European Union metaphor is still in operation then this story seems much more Eurosceptic, implying that membership has benefited the Peladonian aristocracy but not its people. I’m not sure how much relevance that has to 70s Britain, mind.

Part Three

“Since she is only a female her activities are of little importance.”

I think this is the point that it becomes obvious that the queen is so irredeemably wet that it’s completely implausible that she’s retained her position, especially in such a patriarchal (and don’t we know it) society as this one. Sarah’s “advice” to the queen on, ahem, “Women’s Lib” of course treats the subject with all the seriousness and gravitas that it requires. “It isn’t like that on Peladon”, indeed.

Meanwhile, Alpha Centauri continues to greatly annoy. Without Izlyr around to make snarky comments about him, you just want him to get off the screen. And why does he accept the Doctor so readily, especially after the ending to The Curse of Peladon?

We end with two momentous events- the sonic screwdriver being actually used as a screwdriver (shock, horror) and the appearance of some Ice Warriors. The very last thing we were all expecting, I’m sure.

Part Four

“I am the law!”

Suddenly, without warning, from coasting along on the trajectory to a 1/5 for three episodes, the story perks up a bit with the arrival of Judge Dredd- er, Azaxyr. His summing up of the situation is great, with Alan Bennion acting everybody else off the screen even with a bucket on his head.

And then we get an entertaining speech with a double meaning from Gebek, and a rather fun swordfight from the Doctor. Things still haven’t improved to the point of actually being any good, but a 2/5 is now looking possible if the standard can be kept up.

Part Five

“He was the most alive person I’ve ever met.”

Sarah believes the Doctor is dead, but it’s obvious from the shot of the explosion that the Doctor wasn’t anywhere near caught up in it.

It’s a genuine sock that Azaxyr, and especially Eckersley, are traitors working for Galaxy Five. For some reason I find it hilarious to hear Alpha Centauri say “Thank you, Eckersley, but you are still a traitor.”

Part Six

“You sure you don’t want to take the job, Doctor? Civil Service post, with a pension…?”

This episode spend most of its time just plodding on, waiting to end. The Doctor’s apparently dead again but we don’t care because the story cried wolf in this way only an episode ago. It’s hardly a surprise to hear he’s just put himself in a trance.

The story seems to have finished with Azaxyr dead, but oh no- Eckersley has to go and kidnap the queen, just to pad things out for a few more minutes. Still, he gets a nice ending- Death by Aggedor.

That was awful. I’d probably have to go all the way back to The Underwater Menace to find a story I disliked so much. A half-hearted rehash of Curse of Peladon but without any of the charm or characterisation, and with six episodes to fill and a plot which is really quite thin, most of the story is just padding. Dull and boring, with even the coolness of Azaxyr not raising it from a 1/5.

Doctor Who: Curse of Peladon

Part One

“It was not I who chose to quarrel!”

Without warning we’re thrust straight into scenes on an alien planet, a particularly disorientating experience at this point in the show. The scene works well both as exposition and as introduction to themes and the Peladonian characters. David Troughton looks very like his dad, particularly so at this very first appearance. He’s playing a king struggling to match his father’s achievements. There’s so much I could say about that!

Without any explanation beyond a brief allusion from Jo about how the Doctor’s got the TARDIS working again, the Doctor and Jo arrive on Peladon. The scene with Jo exiting the TARDIS at the last moment before it plummets to the ground is extremely well done. Still, for the purposes of her soon-to-be assumed princess persona it’s rather convenient that Jo’s “all dolled out for a night on the town with Mike Yates”.

The delegates are an odd bunch. There’s Alpha Centauri, with its slightly rude shape and funny voice, the sinister Arcturus, who blasts what is no doubt a priceless antique as a social nicety, and some Ice Warriors! In colour! With Alan Bennion back as an Ice Lord! More references to the past for the second story in a row. Two seasons of what felt like an almost completely new programme and now this- it’s great, but somehow also it feels like a bit too much a bit too soon.

The Ice Warriors advance on the Doctor- and welcome him to the delegation. A nice subversion of our expectations. A good episode, marred only by a cliffhanger not exactly exuding danger.

Part Two

“There is no plot!”

Jo’s a bit harsh to shout at the king like that! He seems a nice chap, even to a semi-republican like me. The Doctor also seems to be a bit unfair on the Ice Warriors, calling them “a savage and warlike race”- but saying that may not quite be in the spirit of the marathon. It would probably help if I’d not seen this story before- clearly and understandably we’re supposed to suspect the Ice Warriors. But Jo is right about accusing the Doctor of jumping to conclusions.

Generally, though, this story continues this season’s mellowing of the Doctor, and again he’s likeable here. He’s even good-humoured in the face of Jo’s spot-on accurate mockery: “Oh, come on! You love all that Chairman Delegate stuff!” Jo also gets to show her resourceful, escapologist side by escaping from the Ice Warriors’ room via a dangerous looking ledge. In high heels! She may be a bit dippy sometimes but there’s a bit of the Emma Peel about Jo.

The Doctor and Jo suspect the Ice Warriors of trying to murder Arcturus and the Ice warriors, not irrationally, suspect the Doctor. But Izlyr’s not being irrational, and you can certainly see his point of view.

Part Three

“Yes, you’re a wily old bird, aren’t you, Hepesh?”

The Doctor has been sentenced to death, seemingly just to provide a cliffhanger, but this turns out in fact to be a decent pretext for some interesting development of the delegates. It’s notable that Izlyr sticks up strongly for the Doctor. Meanwhile, the relationship between Jo and His Nibs seems to be developing a bit fast- do they really know each other well enough for all these strong feelings to have sprung up? I suppose that’s the problem of having a romantic subplot in a four part episodic action drama- by definition there can’t be enough time to develop things properly.

I really like the development of Izlyr here- not only is he honourable, saving the Doctor in return for having his own life saved from that oh-so-deadly falling statue, he’s also very sharp, picking up on what’s going on as quickly as the Doctor is.

The Doctor shouts at Jo for having the temerity to interrupt his chanting a Venusian lullaby at Aggedor (!) but this time Jo challenges him right back and he gives ground. Is this a bit of character development I see before me? Is this going to be sustained, with Jo becoming more assertive? We’ll see.

Part Four

“It’s not easy to be a king.”

It turns out Izlyr really is smart- after the Doctor does his Hercule Poirot speech, our Ice Lord gets to say “That is as I suspected”, and he’s earned it. There’s more good character stuff in this episode, although the story is pretty much over five minutes in and Hepesh’s attempted coup feels like a bit of an epilogue. A pity- after three episodes this was on course for a 5/5.

Another nice moment for Jo as the Doctor asks her to “take charge of the conference” while he faffs about in the caves. And a very good job she does, earning Izly’r’s respect and confidence- I love his aside to Jo about preferring Arcturus’ treachery and cold logic to Alpha Centauri’s hysteria!

There’s a nice ending, with the Doctor confessing to Jo that the Time Lords must be behind the trip and Jo finally dumping Peladon’s rather wet monarch. And the final scene, with the real Earth delegate arriving, is perfect.

Almost a 5/5 overall, but I had to dock it a point for having the story end at the start of part four. The remaining plot never felt like more than running on the spot, although the characterisation remained good.

Oh, and this is the first story since The War Games not to feature the Brig!