Union Jack: Family

“Why be Baby Spice when you can be Scary?”

Now that was clever. Not at all the sort of superhero ending we may have expected from both our expectations of the genre and, indeed, the build-up, but a rather smartly done little deconstruction of that very trope... along with some nice little building of an Invaders Initiative which, I hope, we will see assembled, as promised.

The final showdown looks, at first, to be heading towards a final showdown between Joe and the Baroness. She lures Lady J to the crypt by presenting to be the late Ken, and gruesomely turns Edith into a vampire... only for the poor, badass but doomed sidekick to be killed by Jasmine. And then, Joe  and Romany burst into the lounge at Falsworth Manor to get the Baroness....

And find her calmly having a cuppa with Lady J. And Gavin. After all, if Lily’s son (John) is Lady J’s grandson, and new Falsworth blood, why does anyone need to fight, or die? Far better to just put the kettle on instead. So they do. Brilliant. It’s a knowing deconstruction of superhero showdown spectaculars, done very Britishly, with tea. The perfect ending.

And, meanwhile, Gavin is busy tracking down members, many of whom we’ve met, for his Invaders Initiative. Good. This has been brilliant, superbly written and made. I hope we get more.

Union Jack: Blood

"Come on, man- this is my wanking hand!"

So this is it, almost: the penultimate episode. After Thursday next week (the '20s!) I'll have that day of the week back. It will no longer have been hijacked by this addictive little web series that has had me so thoroughly hooked.

These last two episodes are back to the original plot thread with the Baroness and Falsworth Manor, and this episode is pretty much here to set up the finale. There's the usual wit, the usual excellence in incidental music from Tasha Fights Tigers- using a guitar sound from the general lineage of post-punk (with a bit of QOTSA in there? Perhaps the Wildhearts? The Libertines?) , the usual fight scene peppered with much amusing dialogue, as all fights scenes should be. But intriguing things are being set up, too- Joe and Romany are skint, having quit their jobs yet still trying to stop the Baroness. Early on they get approached by a chastened Gavin, who has also quit MI5 after the horrors of last week. He is hoping they'll join his "Invaders Initiative", an obvious reference both to the WWII-set Roy Thomas title from the '70s and to the post-credits sequence of Iron Man. Set-up for a second season? I hope so. Marvel, kindly make this series official and throw lots of money at Mark Garvey and co for another one. Understood? Good.

We conclude, after a showdown between Joe and Grausum in which our Joey wins against the odds by fighting dirty, with our heroic couple ensconced, alone, in Fasworth Manor, awaiting either glory or certain death. I'll be there next week, when the Chrimbo Limbo will be over and days of the week will exist again.

Union Jack: Right

"You're a pathetic phallus!"

A very different episode this week, bravely centring on a moral dilemma portrayed through dialogue and drama instead of action, entirely in monochrome, and allowing Romany to be the wonderful, articulate, ethical hero- with Joe also showing his essential decency by standing by his woman.

Jasmine Knight deserves much praise for anchoring this episode, as does Simon Cleary. The dilemma is splendidly, impossibly acute in pitting Kantian versus ultilitarian ethics- should we kill a village full of innocent people infected by a kind of vampire-zombiesm in order to avert a zombie apocalypse? In the end Romany is right, and the script clearly sides with Immanuel Kane, as the final scene is of Gavin, literally having dipped his hands in the blood, learning that a cure has just been found. Ouch.

This is an an usually serious episode, but not one without the usual wit, humour, fourth wall busting ("We're second string characters at best") and digs at Captain Britain. And Brexit, of course. Which the Tories now own with no excuses, but I digress.

It's interesting to see a role for Arabian Knight- although apparently this is a new and different incarnation of the character. And sad to see that the actor playing him, Surinder Juneja, died this year, and he was very slightly younger than I am. That's no age, and it's right that he should get a credit.

Anyway, the excellence continues. It's sad that we're on the final stretch now...

Union Jack- Co-operation

"So sorry I shot you, mate. My bad."

It's a weird time to be blogging this, a few minutes away from the exit poll in a somewhat dramatic election marked by much rain (at least here in the constituency of Bosworth) and, it seems, high turnout. But I shall pass these last twenty-odd minutes with some praise for a particularly outstanding episode of this bloody good web series.

First, though, I really need to correct a long-standing omission and praise the music, from Tasha Fights Tigers, to the skies. I love this kind of broadly post-punk sound, but not only is the theme tune awesome but the incidental music as good, if not better, than anything you see on telly.

As for the episode as a whole, though, once again we get lots of seriousness leaved by genuinely funny humour and likeable characters well portrayed. We get cleverness, too- the conceit here is that Axis Mundi are going to explode a WMD in central London tomorrow, and Joey and Romany have to sneak into Slaymaster's lair and get him to help. Yet the plot is foiled and everybody lives with plenty of entertaining drama but without too much strain on the budget; the defeat of Axis Mundi's plan happens off screen but we don't mind as we're too engrossed by the witty and exciting character drama we see unfolding.

Plus, you know, Trivial Pursuit banter. Booby jokes. And, er, Union Flag boxers. This is seriously good stuff. Watch it now on YouTube.

Union Jack: Connection

"Gavin, stop looking at my dick."

Ok, so Union Jack was already bloody good.But this episode- along with giving us all the usual wit and fourth wall damaging fun, seems to take things up a level. This far into the season it's clear we've got some seriously clever plotting going on. If you haven't seen it, and want to avoid spoilers, watch it on YouTube before going further.

Essentially the episode consists of Joe being captured and tortured by Axis Mundi as some twisted kind of test to recruit him as a replacement for Slaymaster... and we meet Vixen. Except all is surely not as it seems. We have two MI5 telepaths- the bling and sarky Alison and Kevin, but Kevin is apparently shot dead by Axis Mundi... but just as Vixen is about to offer Joe the chance to find the Baroness she's shot dead by Alison. What's Alison up to?

I don't suspect Gavin, mind, much as he may want to cover up Alison's summary execution of Vixen, who is surely not the big boss she seems- that would be too easy. His nice little speech about him being the baddie being "too obvious" as this is "not a movie" and "not a comic book" tends to deflect suspicion. Then again, are him and Alison in cahoots...? What's going on?

Plot stuff aside, there's so much cool stuff here, much of it wee-related. Joe gets out of the torture he's enduring by peeing on the laptop through which "Mastermind" is speaking. Zaran gets nobbled by his pee getting tasered- ouch. And, on a note, we're told that Captain Britain "is a Tory". Ouch. Poor Brian has surely been slandered.

This is, in spite of being very, very silly, quite seriously very good indeed.

Union Jack: Compromised

"You're like a shit Captain Britain."

Well, that went in a direction I wasn’t expecting. An Axis Mundi agent running MI5; Joe and Slaymaster uniting against a common enemy; lots of complex allegiances. A typically brilliant episode this week, with the usual likeable characters, witty humour and enjoyably tally fight scenes. This is a series that understands how dull silent fight scenes can be, and that’s appreciated.

Slaymaster certainly seems to be a cynic and no angel, but he claims to be reformed- this isn’t quite the character who blinded Betsy Braddock in the comics. Here, so far, he’s pretty much just a cool red herring. He’s also an indicator that Joe is somewhat out of his depth, but that’s a big part of what makes Union Jack a hero; Captain Britain he is not.

As ever, though, the joy is in the dialogue- the exchange about the password between Romany and Joe including “How the fuck am I going to get the word ‘banana’ into a conversation with a supervillain?”, and all the Captain Britain stuff. But on top of all the arc plot is becoming ever more intricate. I’m enjoying this a lot.

Look it up on YouTube!

Union Jack: Clean

"Why is the first thing that you say that he's Muslim...?"

I’m afraid this episode is late- life and all that; I’ve had a few days of only being able to get online on my phone, and that’s not good for YouTube. I’m back now, though, so what of this new story arc?

Well, Vixen and Slaymaster are characters I know well from the Alan Moore and Alan Davis golden age of Captain Britain, and it’s good to see them- or rather have their presence, particularly Slaymaster’s, hanging over the episode to provide tension. I like the way Slaymaster’s coolness is slowly built up, the joke about the first thing Gavin mentioning about this “terrorist” is that he’s a Muslim, and the fact that we hear about him from two different, and probably equally reliable, narrators. Slaymaster may or may not appear (is that him Joe fights at the end?), but he hasn’t been this cool since he was leader of the Crazy Gang.

The regulars are likeable and funny as ever, too, from the banter between Joe and the long-suffering Romany to the opening scene of Joe shooting at a crude drawing of the Baroness- but it’s time for vampires to take a back seat. We also get a cautionary tale about the folly of trying to drive down in That London, but then southerners (even when one of them is sort of Mancunian but not) are all mad. But it’s all about the enigma of Slaymaster- mysterious, silent (“I love a bit of dialogue in a fight scene”) and itching for a proper introduction, which I suspect won’t be long coming.

Excellent stuff. Catch it now on YouTube.

Union Jack: Fate

"I've got a Pomeranian."

"I don't know what that is."

Another episode, another disclaimer at the start, and more of the rather well-crafted superhero sitcom with likeable characters that we’ve come to know and love. A lot happens, too; the Baroness gets to drink some blood at a mysterious pre-dawn ceremony and continues to be a rather cool fourth wall-breaking baddie, Ken tragically turns to dust as the sun rises in a flash of rather impressive visual effects, and there are a lot of those rather amusing combat sequences with lots of top comedy banter from our lad Joe. I also need to mention the music from Tasha Fights Tigers, whoever they are- they’re really rather good.

I like the little comedy scene introducing us to Edith, with some nice bits of dialogue including a line asking Joe if, as Union Jack, he might be a little bit of a right wing nationalist as you’d probably assume. There’s a bit of an implicit acknowledgement that Joe is supposed to be from Manchester but has never, either here or in the old Marvel issues I happen to have read, sounded remotely northern. And we have Joe’s boss Gavin turning up to save the day, proving himself to be more than just a git.

But the Baroness has won and... could she be pregnant? That’s this first arc seemingly over, then, but I’m sure we’ll see more of the Baroness.

Splendid stuff, and it’s here: https://youtu.be/7sL5wnnTbjI

Union Jack: Faith

"Before we start, I really need to do a poo."

Another Thursday, another episode, and we start with another splendid episode, which may begin with a slight variation of last week's "please don't sue us, Marvel" disclaimer but quickly segues into an impressively shot dream sequence for hungover Ken, at once erotic, dreamy and trippy. We then continue with another 27 minutes of likeable characters (Sam O'Hara Childs walks the line between sitcom humour and heroism superbly), good writing and witty lines. Who cares if this is low budget with limited locations, a small cast and no extras; this is solidly excellent viewing.

The plot advances a bit; the Baroness seduces Ken and vamps him at the end, erotically as vampires have ever since Bram Stoker sexualised them in the first place, with another trippy dream for good measure. And dialogue strongly hints that his mysterious blood condition is a family thing, the Farnsworths not being your normal family in many ways with their history of vampirism and penchant for massive pots of tea.

As per last time, though, the episode is nicely structured and full of wit. I loved the constant digs at Captain Britain, and the fact that Romany and Joe have the same debates over the correct pronunciation of "scone" as Mrs Llamastrangler and myself do. More top stuff. More please.

Union Jack: Tradition

“So... Captain Britain!”

This is a web series made by fans, and it’s on YouTube here. It’s completely unofficial and, rather winningly, starts with the plea for Marvel not to sue them. Let’s hope they’re not such big meanies as to do that, because I rather enjoyed this.

So, Union Jack. I have no idea whether this is based on a limited series or something as I stopped reading current comics in the mid-‘90s, as the siren call of beer and heavy guitar riffs distracted me. But I remember the Roger Stern stuff in Captain America back in the '80s, as well as a rather embarrassing story in Marvel Comics Presents, but that's it. So I'm coming in relatively cold.

And you know what? This may be low budget, it may have no stars, but it's really rather awesome. It's much swearier than any official version would be, which is a good thing, but it does exactly the right thing and relies on character, dialogue and humour, from the first scene. This is a very British sitcom, with characters you care about and very real dialogue. The set-up is delicious too, with Sam O'Hara Childs' laddish but likeable Joseph Chapman teamed up with his girlfriend Romany as the brains, while Rachel Cuthill gives us an equally genre-savvy Baroness Blood who likes to celebrate the fruition of her dastardly schemes with a "cheeky Nando's". There's lots and lots of violence done to the fourth wall here, which is exactly how I like it. It all feels a bit like a British Joss Whedon series in the best possible way. For a Halloween event this is much, much better than sodding Brexit.

For a first episode with lots to do this does a superb job of fitting lots of necessary exposition and set-up into just thirty-minutes while also hooking you in. I'll be watching next week.