I, Clavdivs: A Touch of Murder

"It never was what it was..."

It's 20th September 1976. I am as yet a very small collection of cells in my mother's womb, a bizarre thought, and on BBC One there begins the first feature length episode of I, Clavdivs, the BBC's new prestige drama adapting Robert Graves' novels I Claudius and Claudius the God, both of which I recommend heartily, or at any rate at least those parts of the novels that don't require any location filming.

Because that's the thing; there are no locations, no handheld camerawork. Instead there are small sets where you can tell the sets dressing extends no further than is visible on screen. It's theatre with a camera pointed at it, with only lip service made to realism. It relies only vaguely on spectacle; it's entirely about the acting and the script. And, my God, it's magnificent. I would never want them to take away today's location filming and handheld cameras, but we shall never again see the likes of I, Clavdivs.

We begin, after a title sequence that I'd quite forgotten would later inspire the titles of Black Adder II, in the present day in, I think, the 50s AD, with that young Derek Jacobi aged up as the elderly Emperor Claudius as he prepares a framing device, Greek chorus to his own autobiography with the added Greek touch of a riddle from the Sibyl. Then we are in flashback, the seventh anniversary of Mark Antony's defeat at Actium so 24BC, where there is dancing with boobies and our dramatis personae- the splendid Brian Blessed as Augustus in a large yet subtle and nuanced performance that is the highlight of his career, and rivals Herod Agrippa, the old warhorse, and young favourite Marcellus. We also have Augustus's sister Octavia mother to Marcellus, and his wife (and Caesar's only child) Julia- keep up at the back. And at the centre of the web we have Livia.

So we're all set for a long game of- well, definitely not thrones, that's for sure, because Rome doesn't do kings. Oh no. Definitely not. Because Augustus can't wait to lay down his temporary burdens and the republic will be back again like it was in the recent past, right? But before this we get an extraordinary fourth wall-breaking moment as a Greek orator and an actor playing an actor have their faces foregrounded over the main characters and lament how the theatre is not what it was, and never was  in th first place. We are deliberately reminded of the artificiality of all this, that Suetonius may well have been writing out of his arse, and even (by Augustus) that history is not being told as it was but with poetic licence. All this is quite wonderful.

We see the early power games between Agrippa and Marcellus, until first the latter and then the former are fatally poisoned by Livia, whose choice of words is exquisite as she "helps" her sick victims, in order to maneouvre her glum and awkward son Tiberius to the top spot. We see the contrast between Tiberius' weakness and deep depression versus his heroic and cheery brother Drusus, who hopes for a republic but, alas, has a mother who hates him and happens to be Livia.

Augustus is the consummate psychopathic politician, a mafia don, whose every act is politically calculated and whose calculated bonhomie covers a terrifying ruthlessness. And Rome is a goldfish bowl where marriages, divorces, sex and happiness are but political tools. Power pervades every action. Tiberius' self-loathing is quite understandable.

We end with Drusus' suspicious death, with deeper darkness engulfing both Tiberius and the widowed Antonia, a crying baby, and Claudius in the present day with his food taster, suspicious that his wife and stepson are trying to kill him, because such is Rome. It's a richly written, superbly acted bit of telly history and I don't care about the very 1976 hair of young Gaius and Lucius, Livia's next victims. I'm loving this already.

Doctor Who: The Hand of Fear

 
Part One

“Do they have seasons in South Croydon?”

I remember RTD once saying he’d never dream of starting a story on Planet Zog with a load of aliens we’ve never met before expositing at each other. Well, it seems the Bristol Boys have no such qualms! Interesting look for an alien race- faces unseen behind the hood of an anorak…

In an already familiar seeming self-referential moment the Doctor and Sarah land in a quarry on earth, and there’s a hilarious reference to it seeming like an alien world. Oh my aching sides. There’s a siren blatantly going off, and the our heroes are caught in an explosion. You can’t help but be impressed with the Doctor’s health and safety regime for TARDIS landings…

All the same, I’m quite enjoying this. It’s consistently witty, even in little moments- I like the hospital doctor’s speech about pain, a nice little moment for a minor character. And then there’s the agreeable Dr Tyler- er, Carter, who seems a nice chap, enthusiastically investigating this strange, ancient stone hand Sarah’s been clutching. He’s a nice chap, who doesn’t at all deserve to get whacked over the head by Sarah during her latest alien possession. While interestingly dressed- “Yes, just like Andy Pandy!”

Of course, this being a script by the Bristol Boys, the action now moves to a scientific complex…

Part Two

“That’s not as ‘armless as it looks!

A rather long reprise, and what with this becoming practically a hostage situation in a nuclear reaction things get very tense very quickly. Once again Lis Sladen performs being possessed brilliantly, even taking in to account all the practice she’s had.

It’s a shame Dr Carter gets killed- he seemed a nice chap! But it’s a moment which indicates how high the stakes are, something achieved very well with the Professor’s touching “last” phone call to his family.

There’s a nice moment as Sarah responds to the Doctor’s hypnotising her with “Ah no, that’s not fair! Not aga-“. But on the other hand that’s a bit more mission creep for one of the Doctor’s recently acquired superpowers.

Part Three

“It’s just that no one is going to believe me.”

We begin with our heroes in big radioactive trouble, but fortunately Eldrad absorbs the radiation. Fine so far. But then, as in Claws of Axos, the RAF happily set about dropping a nuclear bomb on the complex while Sarah and the Prof shelter behind a car? Oh dear! Yes, Eldrad absorbs the blast, and the Doctor probably expects this, but that still leaves a hell of a lot of bad science on show.

I like the “I worry about you” chat between the Doctor and Sarah on their way to meet Eldrad- it reminds us what a great relationship they have just as it’s about to end.

Interesting that Eldrad, from 150 million years ago, and Solon, from at least a few centuries in our future, have both heard of Time Lords. They must have been around a while then. And the Doctor tells Edrad, without being contradicted, that he can’t break the “first law” of history and take her back to Kastria in her own time- it has to be the present day. Not only this but the Doctor claims she can’t harm him in the still brand spanking new TARDIS control room because it exists in a state of “temporal grace”, something which seems rather inconsistent with previous stories, The Enemy of the World for one. And these are both rather big and limiting things to set up for plot convenience in one story!

The Prof shoots at Eldrad yet he gets to live. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised in hindsight- after that phone call there was no way he was going to die…

Part Four

“I’m sick of being cold and wet and hypnotised left, right and centre. I’m sick of being shot at, savaged by bug-eyed monsters, never knowing if I’m coming, going or been.”

Well, Eldrad can’t pronounce “matrix”, and the abyss looks too obviously like a set, but otherwise this is a satisfying conclusion. Sadly Eldrad has to become a rather shouty bloke who is much more obviously a baddie from the word go. As Sarah puts it, “I quite liked her, but I couldn’t stand him.” The Kastrians’ trap for Eldrad perhaps becomes implausible if dwelt on, but it feels satisfactory as a conclusion and I for one find it a fitting ending: “Hail Eldrad, king of nothing!”

And then it happens. One of no doubt many half-hearted arguments, but then the Doctor is summoned to Gallifrey, and actresses whose contracts are about to end may not set foot on that world be ancient degree, or not until next season in any case. It’s a great scene, threatening even my own tear ducts of steel. Sarah will be missed. Doing this marathon has shown me just how great she was, and what a great actress Lis Sladen is, especially with facial expressions and so many little physical things. I think at the moment she’s by far my favourite.

All good fun, if not quite up there with the best, as so many of this run are turning out to be. 4/5.