The Sweeney: Thin Ice

 "I merely strangled the hound with my bare hands..."

This is the best episode yet. Oh, the plot is clever and entertaining, and we're getting to know Regan, Carter and the rest of the Flying Squad, but more than anything else this is just bloody good writing.

This episode is basically ten dimensional chess between three parties. Bishop (Alfred Marks is a splendid presence) is a criminal  mastermind on the run to France, and there's a rivalry between Regan and one Superintendent Pringle (a perfectly cast Peter Jeffrey) on how to deal with him, and how. It's fun to see how things play out, with Regan ultimately outsmaring both his adversaries.

Yet it's more than that. It's dialogue that is witty but also very real. People talk at cross purposes, there's wordplay, there's perfectly played cynicism. These characters feel real, despite us not knowing them much, purely because of the deftness of the words and the performances. Little things, like the unfriendliness of the local constabularty or the dark hints of domestic abuse at the end.

Yes, this is certainly the quintessential showabout maverick '70s cops who cut corners to get results. But damn, it's clever.

Doctor Who: The Macra Terror (Revisited), Parts Three and Four

Part Three

"We are all happy to work..."

Three episodes in, and The Macra Terror feels like a totally different story with visuals, especially in an episodelike thiswhere the TARDIS crew (minus that snitch Ben) are put to highly dangerous slave labour in the mines, even if the Doctor does have it rather cushy by acting as "supervisor".

It's true, perhaps, that this is not the most visually arresting episode, consisting mainly of dangerous and back breaking sweatshop labour in the "pit". But it doesn't half help in following the plot.

There's some good drama, and good acting from Michael Craze, as Ben struggles against his conditioning, lots of the Doctor being mischievous, and a scary cliffhanger, but this is treading water somewhat.

Part Four

"We want something gay and cheerful!"

It's a pity, I suppose, how a story with such a great concept sags so noticeably in its third episode, as this final episode piles on the revelations and the drama. The revelation that the planet is literally controlled by parasites that look like an STD is full of all sorts of potential for political the political subtext of your choice. It's a nice touch that, even after being given their freedom, the colinists are still a cultural desert, a nightmare of forced jollity and cheery songs even without the giant crabs. No wonder this uniquely anarchic Doctor can't wait to be rid of the place.

Again, though, the visuals are great. Somehow I suspect the wiped original wouldn't have featured all those Macra in the control room, er, controlling things. Conversely, it's a pity we don't get to see Frazer Hines' actual attempt at the Highland Fling.

But there's Troughton, too. This is very much the early, anarchic, slightly sinister if not for the innocence, "I would like a hat like that" Second Doctor. He's great, but the actual footage would be priceless,

Doctor Who: The Macra Terror (Revisited), Parts One and Two

Part One

"Well, this is gay."

The animation begins with the rather relevant reprise from the end of The Moonbase, showing us how the TARDIS regulars are to be animated. It's all mostly pretty good, and the Doctor is very good. But Polly isn't quite right. The animation works, the visual storytelling is very good, but it has its limitations.

Still, it's great to have visuals and actually understand what's going on for the long stretches without dialogue. The storytelling is rather nice; we meet Medok first, suggesting something wrong with the colony, and there are hints from the beginning that things are quite right with all this creepy conformity.

The visuals here- so important in these early stories as Patrick Troughton evolves his performance into what it would become- shows that this is still the elfin, nimble, unpredictable and mischievous Doctor of the early stories- anarchistic, openly and cheerfully resistant to authority, and at times seeming not enormously trustworthy. The animation leans nicely into this.

Part Two

"They're in controooool!"

The opening titles have been nicely colourised for this animation, with animation of Troughton's face and the colour scheme being the same as Pertwee, belatedly showing me what should have been the obvious fact that Pertwee's era, despite the big changes, would eventually keep Troughton's opening titles for four years.

This episode is much talkier and hence less absolutely dependent on the visuals, with the Kafkaesque tyranny of the colony becoming more and more apparent as Ben is brainwashed and Medok sentenced to hard labour for life. The sequence with the Controller is animated superbly for effect, and I suspect the Macra look far much better here than they would have at the time.

I'm rather enjoying this, if mostly because I'm reminded what a brilliant, politically clever story this is.

The Odessa File (1974)

"You are not even worth a bullet..."

Frederick Forsyth is one of those guilty pleasures; hardly a literary writer, prose that makes no pretensions to be anything more than functional, and (especially late on) somewhat right-wing, Biafra aside. But he's a quick, undemanding writer and, dammit, exciting, so it's no surprise that, after the previous year had brought The Day of the Jackal to the big screen, 1974 should see a second adaptation in the shape of this Anglo-German production, with Hollywood star Jon Voight parachuted in to join the largely Anglo-German cast in a film which manages to impress in spite of all the English- speaking actors putting on comedy German accents. It's odd seeing a young Derek Jacobi in such a small role, but great to see the wonderful Mary Tamm, four years before Doctor Who, playing the leading lady.

It's an interesting artifact from the year of the Watergate scandal, and I think that's a valid thing to say even if the novel was published in the year of said burglary itself, starting with a moment of nostalgia for the very recent past of Kennedy. Except the West Germany of 1963 had some very dark shadows lurks by beneath the prosperity, the flawless constitutional democracy and the Beatles in the Reeperbahn; not all of them were SS, but many Nazis had quietly integrated into society and there was a quiet determination to cover things up, to be in denial: even the head of the police War Crimes Unit attends a deeply disturbing regimental reunion. And that kind of sinister doublethink is what the film is about. Peter Miller may represent a younger, less tainted generation who is horrified by the Holocaust (at last re-emerging as an event in its full enormity into the wider culture in the 1970s) but ultimately motivated by personal reasons.

This is an entertaining and exciting political thriller, even if the characterisation is close to non-existent. But the Holocaust flashbacks- filled in monochrome- certainly stay with you.

if... (1968)

"Paradise is for the blessed. Not the sex-obsessed."

I wasn't privileged/unfortunate enough to go to a public school myself, being far too common: not for me the delights of fagging, chapel, cadets and assorted bizarre traditions. Most of what I know of the big public schools comes from Stephen Fry's Moab Is My Washpot, a certain episode of Ripping Yarns and, yes, this film. No doubt this gives me an entirely realistic impression.

The film is a triumph of direction, of the riveting central performance of Malcolm McDowell, and of the dreamlike, searing anger of the film. And yes, that's an unusual combination. 

We begin with introductions to the school, its arcane traditions, its loathsome "whips", corporal punishment, hypocritical staff, and the fact that new boys are called "scummy". It's a harsh introduction to a harsh life for kids who are already having to cope with the brutal separation from their families. What sort of parent can do that to s child? Worse, what sort of parents can do that to a child on full knowledge of what it must feel like? One can understand why ex-public schoolboys are often so repressed, cold and weird. Privilege comes at the cost of devastating psychological trauma. That's how we do things on this country. Lovely.

Of course, this being a closed environment with little in the way of oestrogen, the inevitable homoeroticism is simply accepted. Boys are accused by other boys of "tarting". Teachers are either soulless authoritarians or deeply eccentric. It's all profoundly weird.

Into all this comes Mick Travis, a decidedly not-very-'60s rebel, obsessed with war. We see a number of his brushes with authority and two big dream sequences. The first of these sees him and his mate nick a motorbike (without consequences) after which he proceeds to get his end away. The second consists of his shooting  loads of people.

At least, I assume this last bit is a dream sequence. It's certainly shocking to see, especially given recent events in Oregon, Connecticut, and other places which fetishise the "right" to bear arms.

All the boys we see are damaged, profoundly weird and entirely unable to interact with other human beings in a natural way. Travis is no worse than many, especially not the tyrannical "whips".

This is a brilliant, brilliant film which skewers public school culture superbly while also benefiting from some delightfully arty direction. One of the best films of the '60s and a film that simply could not have been made in any other year.

Countess Dracula (1971)

"Countess Dracula! Countess Dracula!"

Meh. I like me a good Hammer, but this is the most forgettable sort of early '70s stuff. Doing a film based on the notorious Elizabeth Bathory is not a bad idea in theory but the plot is perfunctory, the script tired and Ingrid Pitt, wonderful though she is, doesn't have the charisma to carry a film otherwise full of nonentities, excepting the ever-fab Peter Jeffrey in a minor role and some delightful scenery chewing from Maurice Denham. Overall, it's a Hammer worth skipping. Even the title is crowbarred in.

Any interesting points? Well, the costumes look good, and no doubt are accurate for early 17th century Hungary. The history is a bit off: Elizabeth Bathory was active as a serial killer between 1590 and 1610 (a much longer period!!!) but the film, with Turks encroaching on Vienna, seems to be set in the 1680s. And, of course, whereas the real Bathory may not have committed the murders to stay young at all, in the film she is actually rejuvenated. But beyond that and an incongruous bit of bawdiness with boobies in the tavern (the real world has pubs; cinematic Central Europe has "taverns") there's not much to say about it.

Next!

Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)

"What kind of fiend are you?"

"The kind that wins, my friend."

What a disappointing sequel, especially as The Abominable Dr. Phibes was so damned entertaining. How can what is pretty much the same bunch of people come up with such a desperately disappointing follow-up?

Part of the problem is that the set-up is not so much fun- instead of a series of amusingly outre murders we get a plan to use Egyptian mumbo-jumbo to rejuvenate the good doctor and his wife- yes, undiscovered ancient secrets in an early '70s film. Erik von Daniken, anyone? There's a trope for you right there.

On top of this the celebrity cameos are dull. Yes, the splendid Beryl Reid gets to chew the scenery for her brief scene, but Peter Cushing (prominently billed) gets a dull and functional cameo role. Still, at least we get to see a young John Thaw being horrifically killed.

The relationship between Peter Jeffrey's  Inspector Trout and his apoplectic boss, so funny in the previous film, is taken too far here- why should a police superintendent follow one of his inspectors on a jaunt to Egypt?

I suppose there area couple of entertainingly grossly deaths, the best of which involves scorpions, but this really is a film that can safely be avoided.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

“A brass unicorn has been catapulted across a London street and impaled an eminent surgeon. Words fail me, gentlemen.”

This is the last review I’ll be doing in this strange, alcohol-fuelled, work-free interregnum between Christmas and New Year and, indeed, my last review of 2011. In 2012 I’ll go back to the usual schedule, continuing with the Buffyverse and (mostly) a film on Saturdays. I’ll also be reviewing certain programmes pretty much as they air in the UK- Doctor Who, obviously, but also, starting next week, Sherlock. In the meantime, here’s a fun little movie review that I didn’t have to think too hard about.

This is the perfect movie to watch if you have a certain sense of humour and you don’t want anything too heavy; it spends ninety minutes doing nothing but mocking its own tropes. Phibes (played, with the expected brilliance, by Vincent Price) has an absurd lack of any real motive for his ridiculously over-theatrical crimes, and that every little intricate little thing goes to plan is utterly unrealistic, but all of this is gleefully thrown in our faces; the film knows exactly what it’s doing. That Phibes is just a take on a certain archetype is shown near the end as he reveals his true, horrifying, Lon Chaney-esque face, and starts playing the organ in an obvious reference to Universal’s silent version of Phantom of the Opera. Yep, this is more of that metatextual fun that I love so much.

The police are hilarious, too; nice, decent, but with all the plodding incompetence that tradition leads us to expect from the Yard. For all that Trout (a great performance from Peter Jeffrey) is a thoroughly decent, put-upon chap (his interactions with his superior are the funniest thing about the film, mainly because his superior is only saying what the audience thinks!), he cocks every single thing up at every single opportunity.

All of the surgeons are subject to a certain amount of mockery too, and none more so than Terry-Thomas’ lecherous old man.  This is not a film that exactly treats authority figures with respect; in fact the gleeful grotesqueness of the various methods of dispatch is the film’s main selling point, as the audience has fun trying to guess how the theme of the Ten Plagues of Egypt, revealed quite earlier on, will show itself in the murders. The chap being impaled by a brass unicorn is the best, but many of them are quite horrific, especially the frog mask. Given the otherwise light tone of the film, there’s something particularly nasty about this one.

Still, it’s a superbly entertaining, and rather undemanding, piece of entertainment. One thing, though; who was Vulnavia?

Doctor Who: The Androids of Tara

Part One

“Do you mind not standing on my chest? My hat’s on fire.”

We start with the Doctor and K9 playing chess, as in The Sun Makers, and once again the Doctor contrives to leave the game unfinished once he knows he’s losing. It’s a good scene, but in the context of the marathon it’s a little disturbing to see the seemingly oblivious repeating of something so recent. Never mind though- this first episode is a good ‘un.

Arguably it’s more than a little out of character for the Doctor to have a “day off” at a time like this, although the character has been moving more in that direction lately. Still, I can’t dispute that it’s all well scripted and performed. But if looked at as a commentary on the Doctor Who format itself (as pretty much everything about this story is) it definitely works. On a similarly format-subverting note, Romana finds the first segment within just a minute or so.

I have to admit the monster is… unfortunate. In fact, it’s suddenly quite noticeable that there’s been a distinct lack of monsters this season so far, and the only two proper ones we’ve seen- the Shrivenzale and this one- have been notoriously bad. Could this be why the budget seems to be stretching further this season than last, because of a deliberate cutting back on the monsters?

Peter Jeffrey, on top moustache-twirling form, makes a great entrance as our villain (boo! hiss!) Count Grendel as he “escorts” Romana to his castle, while the Doctor becomes acquainted with Zadek and his unnamed swordsman underling in a rather amusing scene. I particularly love the bit where he briefly grabs the sword to examine it and then immediately hands it back.

We’re given a brief précis of the plot so far; Prince Reynart must appear at the appointed time to be crowned king, but Grendel wants him killed first. But he has plans to avoid this, involving an android strangely similar to those in the Android Invasion. Is this originally Kraal technology perhaps?

This is a fascinating world, where everything looks mediaeval on the surface but technology lurks, suitably embarrassed, in all sorts of corners, as this is a society where engineering is the work of peasants. A great concept, and also a great excuse for doing The Prisoner of Zenda as science fiction. I’d better put my hand up here and confess I’ve not read the novel and frankly have no particular intention of doing so, but I love the occasional asides: “Well, it has been done before.”

Part Two

“Don’t be so tediously heroic, my dear fellow!”

Picking up from where we left off, there’s an exchange early in this episode which pretty much sums up how brazen the script is about its debt to Anthony Hope: “There is a secret passage.” “Ah! I thought there might be something like that!” Wonderful tongue-in-cheek self-referential stuff, of course, but let’s take it a bit too literally for a moment- how come the Doctor’s so aware of the rules of the fictional genre he’s in? Is this planet what it seems, or could it be a part of the Land of Fiction or some such place?

We get to meet Princess Strella, played by guest actress Mary Tamm, and get to hear about the rather tragic situation between that cad Grendel and poor Madame Lamia. Apparently she has the hots for him as he once did her “a certain courtesy”, but as he is a noblemen and she a mere peasant she hasn’t a hope. Instantly the audience sympathises with her, even though at no point in the story is she very nice.

We get to see Cyril Shaps again as the Archimandrite, which is nice, and also get a little backstory; two centuries ago a plague decimated the population (I love it when I can use the word “decimated” with complete accuracy) and that’s when androids started to be used to replace people. Not exactly the fullest explanation I’ve ever heard!

Part Three

“It’s funny. They always want you to go alone when you’re walking into a trap. Have you noticed that?”

I love these kinds of episodes; it may be one of those part threes where the plot takes a week off to wait for the conclusion and the time just gets filled up with loads of capture and escape scenes, but frankly who cares when it’s this much fun? I loved the scene where K9 slowly cuts a door in the tent so he and the Doctor can escape- the flip side of so many old Terry Nation Dalek stories!

We get some actual poignancy too here though as Lamia’s story comes to an end. She knows Grendel’s just using her- she’s not stupid- but “That is better than nothing”. And when she’s killed (I think the only character in the story to die), Grendel barely notices.

In other news, most of the episode is taken up with the elaborate springing of Romana from Grendel’s clutches, only for Grendel to restore her to said clutches at the end…

Part Four

“Next time, I shall not be so lenient!”

I love Grendel’s silly and convoluted plan- Romana, posing as Princess Stella, Marries King Reynart. Raynart meets with an unfortunate and tragic accident. Grendel marries the widowed Romana, masquerading as Princess Strella. Romana, that is, not Grendel. Grendel is now prince consort. Romana, still posing as Princess Strella, meets with an unfortunate and tragic accident. Her grieving widower is now king. Phew!

A great conclusion, with all the usual fun, a great exit for Grendel, and even a swordfight. Still, poor K9!

A wonderful story, a very high 5/5. Loads of postmodern humour with almost everything being a commentary on the programme and the genre it’s currently pasticheing. The uber-Graham Williams story. One caveat, though: much as I love this kind of thing, I can understand why some people don’t like the amount of violence that’s getting inflicted on the fourth wall this season. I love it unreservedly, but I can understand how too much of it would threaten the integrity of the programme. Still, we can probably sit back and safely enjoy some more of this sort of thing until that point gets reached. Say, the rest of this season and all of next?

Doctor Who: The Macra Terror

Part One


"Would you call these ladies off? I'm frightened of what they might do to me."


It's times like the start of this story that I wish I was coming to these stories completely fresh, without the accumulated little bits of knowledge you pick up by osmosis from being a fan. Then I'd probably be saying things like "How shocking! They've changed the title sequence! And it's got the Doctor's face in it. This is clearly part of Lloyd's face agenda. Bring back the swirly things!" but alas, I can't.

Ah, Peter Jeffreys. Splendid! The story starts off well, with a society which seems all happy and shiny on the surface but you know something's not right- after all, what could possibly be more horrifying or sinister than the holiday camp style scenes of forced jollity we see here? "You will have fun! That's an order!" Semi-repressed memories of hearing S Club 7 at university club nights and having to dance to it are surfacing here. Truly chilling. And the muzak is suitably horrible too. Although these early scenes are not too dissimilar in terms of basic structure to Ian Stuart Black's earlier The Savages.

I couldn't resist a slight raising of the eyebrow at the Doctor's saying "Well, this is gay!", but this is very good indeed, however obviously based on both Brave New World (the drugging and parasitism) and 1984 (the totalitarianism) the premise may be. The Doctor's anarchistic streak comes splendidly to the fore here as he instinctively releases Medok before he even knows what's going on. The revelations are unfolding nicely and gradually and the creepy, totalitarian atmosphere builds up. There's a touch of the real life contemporary Soviet Union in the "psychological treatment" of the dissident Medok. This is very good indeed. And at the end we even get a bit of not-very-good footage.


Part Two

"There is no such thing as Macra! Macra do not exist! There are no Macra!"


The Macra's eyes are clearly headlights, but I'm willing to overlook the rubbishness of the monster as everything else is bloody fantastic. Lots of nice touches illustrate just how repressive this society is- the Pilot has a "viewing machine", a kind of panopticon, which allows him to see exactly what everybody is doing. One thing that grates with me here is the way Medok gets the Doctor off the hook too easily, but generally this episode basically serves to ratchet up the totalitarianism. The Pilot says of Medok "He will co-operate and he will obey orders. He'll be just like the rest of us."

The deep sleep gas and "thinking tablets" raise the stakes brilliantly, and the Doctor's speech to Polly about thinking for herself is great. The only disturbing thing about this whole sequence is Jamie's statement that he'll take orders from no one "but the Doctor"!

The script's treatment of Ben and the lines he's given are actually quite clever. In real life many people, perhaps even most people, react as he does, accepting things at face value without questioning why.

Once again, the episode ends with some actual footage of our crap monster. It's interesting that Polly, such a strong character a few minutes earlier as she resisted the mind control, is now screaming her lungs out!


Part Three

"The voices are here to help us. They are our friends."


Our heroes have been caught, and sent to what is essentially the gulag. Fascinating that this was written at the height of the cold war.

We get lots of short snippets of off-air footage this episode, which show us very clearly all the facial acting from Troughton that we're missing. Troughton is great explaining how he worked out the formula, every inch the genius who likes to play the fool.

I'm not sure about "Officia" as a name! But apart from this we get another excellent episode. The plot's ticking along nicely- in fact very nicely for a third episode- the TARDISeers are all well used, and the cliffhanger is excellent.


Part Four


"The colony's in the hands of grotesque insects!"


Much as I'm loving the story- and, incidentally, the splendid new Loose Cannon recon which makes my hiatus almost worth it- I have to admit that it's probably improved by our not being able to see the full awfulness of the Macra in all their moving glory. Still, another great episode. The Doctor gets a nice line to Polly: "I'm sure there's no need to be afraid. Well, I think there's no need to be afraid."

Surely the colony cheerleaders are the most terrifying and spine-chilling thing we've seen in all of Doctor Who so far? My intense dislike of anything that smacks of forced jollity means I'm probably genetically designed to love this story, but even so, the song they perform is genuinely sinister.

There's a slight potential worry that occurs to me once we realise the full situation- the Macra, native to this planet, are acting as parasites on the human colonists. This threatens to raise the obvious colonial issues, but I think the story gets away with it- the Macra aren't shown as oppressed native peoples but rather as predators with the humans essentially caught in their web. Also, I suppose it helps that the overall tone of the story is far from reactionary.

Another great line from the Doctor; "Bad laws were meant to be broken!"




Overall, superb. Well plotted, great lines, all of the regulars being well-characterised and given plenty to do- no easy feat with this TARDIS crew- and some truly literate and thought-provoking sci-fi themes. 5/5.