The Sopranos: I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano

"Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this."

This is a fitting, perfect and superlative finale- almost. It wraps everything up nicely (except for Pussy's whereabouts) in terms both of plot and character arcs, It a supremely well structured, written, shot and acted hour of telly. But there's one horrifying moment of bigotry that seriously maims this finale. And that's a shame.

We begin with a calm, cheerful, reinvigorated Tony plotting is revenge while the Feds are planning to strike- and the season finale is a likely time for them to do so. And then a lot of things happen.

The first to die is Jimmy, the rat- his death ordered by Tony after Junior gives the nod. Meanwhile Tony is scarily violent towards Dr Melfi when she suggests his mother may be behind the attempt on his life as punishment for putting her in a home, seemingly severing that relationship forever- only to be played a tape by the FBI which proves Dr Melfi right by doubt. Their later reconciliation is, though seemingly unlikely, both convincing and touching- here is one woman whom Tony seriously respects.

One relationship that is certainly severed is between Carmela and Father Phil, whom she confronts magnificently. She says that he manipulates "spiritually thirsty women", that he's a parasite who enjoys "the whiff of sexuality that never goes anyplace". Ouch. Whether any of this may be aimed at religion in general is not something I will be touching with a bargepole anytime soon.

Junior's two main underlings are killed by Tony's underlings, after he tells them of his seeing a shrink- and cleverly uses that to tie them to him. Junior escapes only by being arrested and charged- and, with his old school valus of Omerta, Tony is ironically now safe, and secure as boss. We end with a nice moment as Tony proposes a toast to his "family"- but which one?

Splendid telly, then. Except... it's suggested, probably accurately, that Livia may have borderline personality disorder. Fair enough, and more than plausible. But let's say I've been close to someone with BPD, and when Dr Melfi is made to say that "these people have no love or compassion".... wow. I'm speechless. Let's just say that I have a more nuanced view. This is a truly shocking thing to hear, it mars the episode severely, and it may be some time before I watch the second series.

A shame. There's no denying the quality here.

The Sopranos: Pax Soprana

“If you were a dildo, we wouldn't be fighting".

This episode is fascinating, and a realignment in a couple of contexts as Tony is forced to accept that Dr Melfi is romantically out of bounds, he persuades Junior to act as a benevolent boss, and he and Carmela start to work on their marriage. Of course, it’s all actually much more nuanced than that.

Things come to a proper head with Dr Melfi. Tony not only had erotic dreams about her but can only maintain an erection when thinking of her- even his Ukrainian “goomar” can’t satisfy him. So we have the scene where he slowly, embarrassingly describes his impotence to Dr Melfi, declares his love and kisses her- and she reacts firmly and professionally on stopping him there, explaining that the things he finds attractive about her are just a part of her role. She seems remarkable tolerant of finding out that he had her followed, and stole her car to fix it- but then, she knows what he is agreed to take him as a client, regardless. Dr Melfi, in spite of her role, isn’t quite a blank canvas of a character. It will be fun to find out more about what makes her tick.

Meanwhile Carmela is upset during an awkward anniversary meal and reacts passively aggressively in ways that don’t help Tony’s stress- but she’s right. Tony does see “goomars” despite his protestations. And he has been neglecting her in every way, prioritising everything else. Even worth is that Father Phil, who is supposed to be her friend, is a misogynist arsehole with his advice. He firmly rules out all suggestion of divorce, although it’s clearly immoral to trap people in formal couplings they no longer consent to. And he blames her for tolerating his earlier dalliances, saying that she is “not entirely without sin”. It’s a distressing scene to watch, and leads us to question the foundations of their attempt at reconciliation at the end, where it’s her who persuades him to keep on seeing Dr Melfi.

Also worrying is Junior’s autocratic style as boss, taking and not giving as boss, but it’s Tony who handles this with a little speech about Octavian- I like his penchant for Roman history. But there’s some interesting dialogue in which Tony and other capos admit that Junior is boss because someone has to take the fall if the Feds come calling and it’s better it be an old man without children- and, as we see at the end, the FBI are on to them. Although the board with pinned photos and post-it notes is the most 1999 thing ever...

Superlative as always.

The Sopranos: College

"Of all the finook priests in all the world, why did I have to get the one who's straight?"

This is an episode based around the future, I suppose, as Tony drives Meadow around several posh universities in Maine. But it’s also an episode full of ghosts and secrets from the past. Tony takes time out from chauffeuring and bonding with his daughter to track down and eventually strangle to death an informer he randomly spots at a petrol station. Meanwhile, he and Meadow bond over mutual honesty as he (eventually) gives an honest answer to the blunt question “Are you in the Mafia?”while she confesses to having taken speed- only for him to let her down by not saying what he’s been up to with the informer.

Less sanguine about the ethics of living in a big house on Mafia money is Carmela, as she breaks down after several glasses of wine and confesses to Father Phil- although this religious catharsis seems unlikely to lead to anything. The relationship between her and Phil is fascinating. He’s a very worldly priest, up on his popular culture and always visiting Carmela to (as he cheerfully admits) eat her food and drink her wine. And (there’s a moment when he seems about to kiss her) he obviously fancies the pants off her. But, in a nice touch of dialogue the morning after, it’s clear that she’s very much aware of all this but is happy to have him as a friend, perhaps a much-needed one. And, I think, behind the religious flummery, there’s a very real bond.

Phil staying over is a non-issue; as we see, Tony just assumes he’s gay. Less easy to brush off is Carmela discovering Dr Melfi’s gender...

Meadow gets drunk too, incidentally, in the company of a few extras one of whom is Eve from the final scene of Angel, which is an actor-spotting win from me. But this episode doesn’t need a tot spotting wins to be awesome as ever, and a nice change of pace.