Doctor Who: Attack of the Cybermen

Part One

“I suddenly feel conspicuous.”

So, now we’re beginning a new 45 minute format, eh? It’ll never catch on. We’re also getting a new writer, apparently, in the shape of Paula Moore.

We begin with the new Doctor being very different from his predecessor- after procrastinating about it ever since Logopolis he’s finally getting around to repairing the Chameleon Circuit. Apparently he’s still a little unstable, which is worrying. This regeneration has been drawn out far too much.

Lytton’s back, still stuck on Earth, planning a heist alongside characters played by Brian Glover and an unmasked Terry Molloy. But mostly we’re just watching the Doctor and Peri hanging about in the TARDIS for ages before they land. They seem to bicker a lot, too. Still, they eventually land, in 76 Totter’s Lane. In spite of the Doctor’s claim that “This looks familiar”, it bears absolutely no relation to the junkyard seen in An Unearthly Child. It hasn’t got a roof for one thing. 

The Doctor and Peri are trying to trace a distress call from an alien being broadcast from Totter’s Lane in 1985, observed by those two policemen from Resurrection of the Daleks. Oh, and the TARDIS is changing it shape in scenes which I think we’re meant to find amusing. But it’s not just Totter’s Lane; this scene alone features a bewildering and self-indulgent excess of fanwank; not only does Peri recite the name of several past companions for no particular reason, but we’re told that the Terrible Zodin was “a woman of rare guile and devilish cunning.” And that’s only the beginning.

You can probably see already that I’m not hugely enamoured with this story, but I’ll defend it for one thing; for all the bickering between the Doctor and Peri it’s obvious that neither of them really means it and they actually come across as quite affectionate with each other, especially through body language. It helps that Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant have good chemistry.

A Cyberman shockingly appears in the sewers- and is immediately shot dead, oozing green, er, ooze. This is a highly appropriate intro for the Cybermen in a story which shows them to be disturbingly easy to kill. We discover that Lytton made contact with their ship behind the dark side of the moon- all very The Invasion. 

It’s nice that cybernisation gets a mention, but then the fanwank continues; the Cyber Controller and Telos are mentioned, and suddenly we switch to an escape attempt on the part of a couple of slaves on Telos- and to be fair the location is a fair match for the Telos we saw in Tomb of the Cybermen. Our two escapers, Stratton and Bates, are very hard-boiled style characters, almost to the point of being characters in a script by Eric Saward. But of course that cannot be, as this story was written by Paula Moore. Definitely.

The Doctor and Peri find Russell, and there follows an amusing scene in which the Doctor and Peri get the gun off him, and the Doctor seems to tell Peri to shoot him. Oddly enough, I don’t have a problem with this in spite of my increasing unease with the tone of the programme. The Doctor’s clearly bluffing and the thing’s carried off with charm and humour- it’s the absence of these things, after all, that have been my main concern with recent scripts.

Russell, it seems, is an undercover copper, and so he joins the Doctor and Peri in venturing into the sewers.

Meanwhile, on Telos, Stratton and Bates seem to be killing Cybermen with the greatest of ease whenever they stop bickering for long enough to do so, while the Cyber Controller directs things. For some reason the rather rotund Michael Kilgariff has been pointlessly recast in the role, in spite of the fact that both here and in Tomb his entire body in covered, and in the earlier story he didn’t even provide the voice. The result of this is, of course, that a certain softly pronounced “c” in the line “It is a fact, Controller” becomes a moment of comedy gold.

The Doctor kills a Cyberman with a sonic lance (guns and the Doctor again!), unfortunately attracting their attention. As the Doctor and Peri return to the TARDIS, accompanied by Russell, who shows the customary lack of surprise at its dimensions for this era, they are attacked by Cybermen…

Part Two

“I can understand why they call them tombs.”

The Doctor queries the Cyber Controller’s survival and is told that he was “merely destroyed.” Er, yes. This begins a running theme of this episode; ridiculous plot points and fanwank references revealed to us by dull and often long-winded exposition. We get detailed references to The Tenth Planet and Tomb early in the episode which must have been utterly alienating to the casual viewer.

The Doctor, Peri and Lytton are stranded and, separately, all make contact with the planet’s indigenous Cryons, played by the likes of Sarah Green, Faith Brown and Esther Freud, all unrecognisable. The Cryons actually look great and, with their groovy hand movements, dignity and wit, are the best thing about this story.

It seems that Lytton was in fact working for the Cryons all along, which of course means he is an entirely a good guy and the fact that hitherto he’s behaved like a total arse in no way diminishes his unambiguously heroic status.

Anyway, the Cybermen want to prevent Mondas from being destroyed, so they’ve travelled back in time to 1985 so that they can use Halley’s Comet to destroy Earth, thereby saving Mondas. This is utter fanwank; the series is now becoming sufficiently self-referential that it’s eating its own tail. What on earth would the casual viewer have made of this?

Still, at least it fundamentally makes sense. Aside, that is, from a couple of tiny little flaws, such as the reason for Mondas’s arrival back in 1986 was that they needed Earth for its energy, and the question of whether the Cybermens’ survival is really served by changing history for the benefit of a completely different bunch of Cybermen and wiping out centuries of their own history.

There’s a nice scene where the Doctor wonders why the Time Lords haven’t sent an agent to help after he warned them earlier, only to realise that he is the Time Lord agent. Sadly, this is soon followed by a discussion of why the Cryons are helping him. As even the script points out, they stand to benefit from the Cybermen changing history as their planet would never have been invaded. The explanation that “The Cryons have accepted their fate” doesn’t really cut it. As for all that frozen explodey stuff that’s being kept in the cell- aaargh!

Things get even worse. I don’t mind violence as long as it’s not done in the service of an overly grim tone, but the scene where Lytton’s hands are crushed is utterly repellent. How was that allowed to get through? Also poor is the Doctor’s statement that the Cybermen “have only one weakness- they respond to the distress of their own kind”. I think, given the number of Cybermen we see being killed in this story, that his mathematical prowess may have deteriorated somewhat since Castrovalva.

More bad stuff rounds out the story; Bates, Stratton and Griffin almost reach the Cybermen’s control centre only to be killed at the last moment- very cynical. The TARDIS is suddenly stuck as a police box again with no explanation whatsoever. And the scene with Lytton begging the Doctor to kill him is just wrong.

Terrible, just terrible. The plot makes no sense, it’s unremittingly grim, the tone is all wrong and it’s all substandard fanwank anyway. 1/5. The nicest thing I can find to say about it is that at least it’s better than Underworld.

Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks

Part One / First Bit of Part One

“You’re pathetic.”

“That too.”

The opening scene, with the sudden appearance of the time travellers, the policemen, Rodney Bewes, and the casual shooting of the tramp, is fantastic. This is all down to Matthew Robinson and the location, however; this story is a mess, for reasons which are mainly down to Eric Saward’s script.

There follows a brief diversion to a spacecraft which looks very much like something from Star Wars from the outside, where lots of Saward’s trademark hard-boiled dialogue happens, much of it involving Rula Lenska. It’s a prison ship- hmm, I wonder, in this story with “Daleks” in the title, who the prisoner could possibly be?

A time corridor draws the TARDIS to the bit of London round Tower Bridge, and my, how that has changed since 1984!

Meanwhile, on board the ship, Saward demonstrates his admirable ability to come up with such naturalistic dialogue as “You fear attack?” and “Your bile would be better directed against the enemy!” The crew are attacked by a bunch of Daleks and… win. Perhaps not the most orthodox way of making your baddies seem threatening. Still, the zapped Daleks, with the visible mutant things, look just as impressive as when last seen in The Five Doctors.

Things turn around, of course, as we get to see a rather cool shot of a Dalek exterminating three people at once, and the Dalek Supreme turns up for the first time since Planet of the Daleks.

The Doctor and co have found Stein, some soldiers and the source of the time corridor, but Turlough seems to have found his way through into the ship. Disappointingly, the Daleks’ doors don’t make their customary noise. Can it be that we’ll never hear that sound again?

The prisoner- it’s Davros! And the Daleks’ gas weapons are making people’s faces go all minging! And the Daleks’ human underlings are dressed up as Daleks in a way that looks very silly! It’s all kicking off!

I remember seeing this on its original transmission. And yes, we did play at Daleks in the playground that week.

Part Two / More Stuff From Part One

“My vision is impaired, I cannot see!”

The way the Doctor and the soldiers deal with the Dalek that’s just teleported down to Earth is all exciting and well directed and that, but these Daleks are a bit easily killed, innit?

Still, I like Terry Molloy’s ranting take on Davros. He’s no Michael Wisher, but he’s a step up from the ranting-by-numbers of David Gooderson. I love his apoplectic reaction to being told by Lytton that the Movellans won their war with the Daleks, and that they’re plagued by a deadly virus. The Daleks are reviving him to find a cure, but little does he know the Dalek Supreme has no intention of keeping him around once he’s achieved that aim. Oh, and that’s Leslie Grantham playing Kiston, who’ll be hanging around Davros for the rest of the story.

Meanwhile, in London, the Dalek mutant thingy is on the loose, and everyone’s all worried. We get a false alarm that turns out to be a cat- I might be jumping to conclusions here, but do you reckon Eric Saward might have seen Alien at some point? Still, it’s good to see the Doctor joining in with trying to shoot it, using that gun the colonel so kindly gave him earlier. Saward is so good at not neglecting this gun-toting aspect of his character.

We hear Davros has been frozen for ninety years, conscious for all that time. Blimey. And Stein turns out to be a Dalek agent. Oh dear.

Part Three / First Bit of Part Two

“Why am I so excited? It’s the last thing I’ll ever do!” 

I think it’s the bit at the start of this episode where Stein reveals to the Doctor that the Daleks are planning to use all these duplicates that it becomes apparent that the plot’s a complete mess. This story isn’t just about the Movellan virus and reviving Davros- oh no, the Daleks have all sorts of ill-thought-out plans on the go. And without any real plot or theme, this story essentially consists of hard-boiled Saward-scripted characters shouting and shooting at each other for ninety minutes.

I like the scene where the Professor urges Tegan to leave while she stays behind to lie to the Daleks. Never in the field of television drama has any character been more clearly going to die. I’m reminded of a certain sketch from The Mary Whitehouse Experience here.

So, the Daleks are planning to use duplicates of the Doctor and his companions to assassinate the High Council on Gallifrey? I think this is the point where the plot jumps right off the edge of a cliff. Although of course in recent years it’s acquired a certain possible relevance to the Time War. 

Turlough’s ended up with Rula Lenska & co, as they attempt to blow up the ship. Turlough’s far from enthusiastic; I think it’s here that I can safely say that “There’s nothing we can do!” is now his actual catchphrase.

Part Four / More Stuff From Part Two

“I can’t stand the confusion in my mind!”

Suddenly the TARDISeers are all reunited, a sign that suddenly the plot has to start moving so everyone has to be in place. We learn that those mysterious cylinders on earth are the Movellan virus, although there seems to be absolutely no reason for them to be there of all places. And the Doctor sets off to kill Davros. Well, nothing can possibly go wrong there then.

In fact, this whole sequence with the Doctor setting out to execute Davros pretty much symbolises something very wrong with Saward’s vision of the show, something which has lain dormant for some time but is now being foregrounded more and more. Now, Earthshock was stylistically similar to this story, if a hell of a lot more coherent plot-wise, being hard-boiled, violent, and fast-paced. And I liked it. Season 19 was hugely varied in the different styles of its stories, no doubt because of the influence of two script editors, and in that context it was good to see this type of story. But in the context of this season that’s no longer the case.

I don’t read other people’s reviews [on the message board thread this was posted on at the same time as the blog, as with all of my Who reviews] until just after I post my own on to the thread, so I’ve been reading them almost a month after they were first posted and in ignorance of anything posted more recently. But I’ve noticed that in some of his excellent recent reviews (and very possibly in others I haven’t read yet), Nuallain has mentioned a running theme running through this season of the Doctor’s optimism versus the harshness of the universe. And this story seems to be where this contrast reaches a peak, and simultaneously where it becomes clear that Saward’s vision of the show is exposed as very, very wrong. Because the whole scene with the Doctor failing to execute Davros reeks of contempt from the author for the main character of the show. We’re being invited to sneer at the Doctor’s optimistic world view, and instead accept that the world is a cynical, nihilistic place. This is deeply wrong, and undermines the values of the show. I’m reminded of Alan Moore’s public regrets over what happened to comic book superheroes after Watchmen. It’s now become horribly clear that Saward does not like or understand what Doctor Who is about, and has no interest in its central character.

Anyway, ranting aside, it’s odd that Davros doesn’t mention at any point that the Doctor looks different. But the scene soon fizzles out, with most of the rest of the episode consisting of various characters shooting each other dead. Lots of dead bodies are on display. There are now two opposing Dalek functions, both of which are gruesomely destroyed by the Movellan virus. Davros is apparently hoist by that pesky old petard of his, and Stein blows up the ship and everyone on board. Lovely. Lytton and his two policemen friends walk away at the end, though. Sequel, anyone...?

It seems that, for some reason, Tegan doesn’t think that all this death and killing is her idea of fun, and she stays behind on Earth. Odd, that. It’s an effective and moving exit, with Tegan and the Doctor parting on unpleasant terms.

Awful. The plot was all over the place, the Doctor was shown as ineffectual and the whole thing felt like a cynical dismissal of all that Doctor Who is supposed to be about. I agonised long and hard about whether this deserved a 1/5, but eventually decided the direction was good enough to move it up to a low 2/5.