Doctor Who: The Timeless Children

“Gird your loins, gentlemen.”

“I don’t... I don’t know how to do that.”

Now that is how you do a season finale. No, none of the “Fam” died, in spite of the many subtle hints. And the explanation of the “Timeless Child” was perhaps the most likely one. But I simply have to admit yet again this season that Chibbers has produced the goods. This is a cracking season finale, and what it does to Doctor Who lore is at once brave, radical and exciting. The whole thing looks amazing too, and there are truly excellent performances from both Sacha Dhawan as a dangerously and compellingly insane Master and Jodie Whittaker as a Doctor forced to confront what she’s never been made to confront before.

Much of the episode has two parallel plots- the Doctor within the Matrix receiving a massively game-changing info-dump from the Matrix while the Fam and their friends dodge peril from Ashad and his Cyber-army. I like this juxtaposition and, much as we fans are fixated on the big revelations, the exciting scenes with the Fam are important. There are some great moments, such as Graham telling Yaz just how awesome he thinks she is, and indeed one of their friends wanting to retrieve the body of his fallen comrade because her greatest fear was always being altered by the Cybermen- it’s this kind of thing that makes the Cybermen so effective in this two parter.

But we can’t help be excited by the scenes on Gallifrey. We begin with the Doctor and Master engaging in some edgily dark repartee mixed with nostalgic references to Borusa and the Panopticon, showing us what fantastic chemistry these two actors have. But when the Doctor is attached forcibly to the Matrix the revelations keep coming.

So once the sentient race of Gallifrey was the Shabogans- nice nostalgic touch- and one of them- Tecteun- was an early space explorer, crudely heroic. But one day she came across the Boundary, and found a child there, apparently abandoned. So she adopted that child and studied it, until one day it died- and became the first person on Gallifrey to regenerate. So she studies the child even further- a creepy, Stranger Things type example of an innocent child being used and experimented on, regenerating again and again. Some childhood.

But Tecteun eventually reached the point where she was able to risk testing her theories on herself- and so she became the first native Gallifreyan to regenerate. Dialogue then tells us vaguely that history passed, that the Citadel was built and that those dwelling in it became a race apart and eventually, presumably after Rassilon and Omega, Time Lords. It’s made explicit that only these elite Gallifreyans are Time Lords and are able to regenerate- an artificial twelve times- and that the rest of the planet’s population are presumably still “Shabogans”.

Meanwhile, Ashad has in his chest a device to destroy all organic life on the planet, a somewhat obvious case of Chekhov’s Gun. And the Master, latest in a long line of Tobias Vaughns, is inviting his Cyber-Army to invade Gallifrey. This is hardly rational of him, to say the least, but then that clearly isn’t the point. And it’s hugely amusing to hear the Master say what we all think about Ashad’s plan to destroy all organic life so that everyone, himself included, can “”ascend” to being purely mechanical creatures- “Oh, you mean robots?” Indeed.

But there’s a big revelation still to come, of course- the Timeless Child is the Doctor. She had many lives before the ones we knew (so The Brain of Morbius doesn’t need retconning after all!), and the Matrix has been redacted to remove all details of those lives- but the sheer size of those redactions imply there were many. And, let’s not forget, we have absolutely no idea where the child came from.

All this is brilliant. At a stroke the mystery of the Doctor is revealed- what happened in this previous lives? Who even is she? What of the Jo Martin Doctor, who we see in a mental pep talk sequence? And, let’s note, what’s even more brilliant is that the bureaucratic, arrogant, silly old Time Lords are no longer even all that relatively important to the central mystery. I love it.

Cue a final confrontation, the awesome spectacle of regenerating Cyber-Gallifreyans complete with high collared robes, and a magnificent final confrontation between the Master and the Doctor. And a splendid performance by Jodie Whittaker as she and the Master discuss whether she will indeed sacrifice herself to stop him- fortunately, there’s a convenient character on hand to make that sacrifice instead. Meanwhile, the “Fam” and friends are sent back to contemporary Earth in a Hartnell-era TARDIS which, like the Master’s, has disguised itself as a house. Cool.

And then we get a very RTD ending, complete with “What? What? What?” As the Doctor is suddenly kidnapped by a “cold case team” of Judoon and bunged in a prison without trial. Probably for a crime she can’t remember. Wow. At least we presumably have a long time to digest this before Revolution of the Daleks...

Oh, and while we wait, here are all my Doctor Who reviews...  https://llamastranglermarathon.blogspot.com/p/doctor-who-index.htmlhttps://llamastranglermarathon.blogspot.com/p/doctor-who-index.html

Doctor Who: Ascension of the Cybermen

“We're carrying the Cyberman that makes other Cybermen scream..."

Well, yeah. That was very good indeed. Actually, it was sort of excellent. And Chris Chibnall bloody wrote it.

So it's a long time in the future, after the Cyber-Wars, according to the pre-titles CGI with narration which rather niftily takes us into the title sequence through a Cyberman's eye. It's a cool beginning to an episode with not much wrong with it.

One intriguing sub-plot, beginning immediately after the titles, concerns an ordinary couple in mid-twentieth century Ireland who find a baby in a basket, abandoned like Moses, and we see scenes throughout as they raise the lad into a decent, nice young man who decides to join the Garda. But his survival after he's shot and falls from a cliff makes us (and his worried father) worried that things may be going a bit Clark Kent. Only after his retirement, and his forceful accosting by two youthful doppelgangers- itself weird- do we learn that he's been under the influence of a Chameleon Arch for his entire life. A time lord, presumably? Perhaps even yet another unknown incarnation of the Doctor? The one thing I’m certain of is that the explanation is closely liked to what the Master tells the Doctor at the end of the episode. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s just say the payoff to this segment is awesome.

But, for the Doctor and her Fam, the world surrounding them is very different from idyllic rural Eire. It’s a period after the Cyber-Wars, where the Cybermen are almost dead but humans are almost as endangered, the Doctor telling Yas, Ryan, Graham and the viewers that the seven people in the precarious settlement before them are the only humans left, at least in this part of the galaxy. It all feels very Frontios. These characters are likeable and well-sketched for an episode with so much else to do, but as the Cyber-drones (robot Cyber-heads) arrive we’re very firmly told that this is a narrative with no time for the Doctor’s usual tricks as a couple of characters are killed, all of the Doctor’s smugly presented gadgets are destroyed and suddenly things are looking very worrying indeed, so much so that the Doctor panics, in what is a rather important scene for Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor, forcefully telling the “Fam” that they need to do as she says and not question her, and she regrets putting them in such deadly danger. All this is very ominous, especially as a trio of attacking Cybermen force Yas and Graham to flee in a separate ship from the Doctor and Ryan. Oh, and one of those three Cybermen is Ashad from last episode. It’s beginning to look awfully as though his survival, after last week, is going to result in the death of at least one of the Doctor’s friends.

There are some nice touches to these scenes- the Cybermen's legendary weakness to gold is mentioned, but rather forcefully batted away as irrelevant. The Doctor used to hotwire warp drives on weekends as a teenager, "not that we had weekends, or teenagers". And this Doctor, instead of jelly babies, has humbugs. But things look ominous. Ashad seems to imply to the Doctor that he is, to semi-quote the old Cartmel Masterplan,more than just a Cybermen: he eagerly embraced conversion, or "ascension" but was "denied"- because of some kind of apparent destiny. And now, with the Cyberium, he seems to hint at literally precognitive powers, and foresees the end for humanity. Who is he?

We end with Yas, Graham and their friends on a ship full of dormant Cybermen of a quasi-Invasion vintage, and watching in horror as Ashad and his two lieutenants arrive to painfully awaken the Cyber-army. They seem to have no hope... but this is but one cliffhanger.

Elsewhere, the Doctor, Ryan and their friends arrive at the promised land (there's a lot of Biblical allusion in this episode) to find a selfless old man, Ko Sharmus, and a magic portal just into the sea that transports the desperate to a completely random point in the universe- and yet, as the Doctor looks into the portal, the sees the orange skies and the Citadel on Gallifrey. Why there? Why Now? And, no less importantly, why does the Master, still played by the brilliant Sacha Dhawan, choose this moment to jump out of the portal to gleefully tell the Doctor that everything she knows is wrong?

So... yeah. That was amazing. And will take a long time to digest. Next week's finale certainly looks big.

The Sarah Jane Adventures: Goodbye, Sarah Jane Smith

Part One

“Don’t think I haven’t met amateurs before.”

Just six months after it was broadcast and this title has now acquired some unintentionally tragic associations. The plot, with Sarah Jane suffering a serious illness, is quite a different experience, watching it for the first time now, than it would have seemed at the time.

The pre-titles sequence sees our Scoobies upstages by a suspiciously convenient Sarah Jane-a-like, and once the names of the writers (Clayton Hickman and Gareth Roberts) appear on screen, I can’t help but suspect that this is going to be a semi-remake of Big Finish audio The One Doctor. I simply must get around to listening to that some time. I’ve owned it for years.

Coincidence piles upon coincidence, as this mysterious Ruby White (Mary Sue, surely? They missed a trick there.) turns out to have moved into Bannerman Road and Sarah Jane seems to start forgetting things. Oh, and Ruby White refers amusingly to the mysterious goings-on within the “Ealing Triangle”.

When Sarah Jane’s mistakes almost get Clyde and Rani killed, though, Ruby White comes to the rescue. She’s now turned suspiciously friendly. Of course, we, the viewers, know that she’s up to no good, but that’s all part of the fun, and a good thing for the target audience. Ruby is almost a perfect pantomime villain in that the viewers want to shout “Oh no she isn’t!” at the characters who suspect nothing.

Sarah Jane reminisces to Ruby, confirming that she was twenty-three during the events of The Time Warrior, and if I could be bothered I could use that to date this story. Another piece of evidence for the UNIT dating debate, this. But she forgets the Doctor- unthinkable- and a scan by Mr Smith confirms it: she’s suffering some sort of mental decline.

Sarah Jane gives up suspiciously easy, handing everything she has to Ruby on a plate. Everything feels wrong; she’s leaving immediately, seemingly with nowhere to live, and absent-mindedly forgets to say goodbye to Luke before relinquishing control of Mr Smith. In an odd way the character comes across as quite strong here: she’s decisive, and acts without self-pity. But it’s shocking to see her abandon Luke because she doesn’t want to be a “burden” to him. We know she’s not herself.

And then Ruby reveals her true colours, as an alien who keeps her stomach in the cellar. As you do…



Part Two

“Sharing your big secret… don’t think I haven’t noticed!”

Heh! Ruby wants to help aliens to do naughty things. And she wants to do so while living Sarah Jane’s life, including Clyde and Rani. They’re not quite convinced, though. Believably, Clyde is upset and blames Rani for pushing Sarah Jane away: “She’s gone, like my Dad’s gone, and it’s all your fault. Just stay away from me!” This tells us so much about Clyde.

And Rani is upset. It’s only when she talks to her mother (the lovely, lovely Gita) that she realises something is wrong. Clyde, of course, suspects this from the beginning, especially once Mr Smith starts to drop some heavy hints. He confronts Ruby, but he’s overpowered by Ruby, and taken to her orbiting prison. Like Cessair of Diplos, is seems she’s escaped from prison, with the aid of, er, a kind of Space Playstation. Unfortunately, Clyde is now trapped in a place with no oxygen other than that which he brought with him…

When all seems lost, though, Luke and K-9 arrive. He and Rani start arguing (Tommy Knight is strangely unconvincing here), but K-9 soon works out exactly what’s going on. Good dog!

Meanwhile, Clyde is delivering a final message, which is really quite affecting; this is a good episode for him. But all is not lost- Rani distracts Ruby with some girly chat, which gives K-9 the chance to teleport a bewildered Clyde back to the attic. He’s still a bit bewildered, though, and lets out a “Rani, I love you!”

They all head over to rescue Sarah Jane, only to be menaced by an unconvincing stomach with sharp teeth. Ho hum. Luke saves the day, though, and Ruby’s off back to prison, this time with no Playstation.

It’s a happy ending; even K-9 and Mr Smith are getting on. There’s a bittersweet note at the end, though: Sarah Jane saying “I think I can go on forever” now seems cruelly ironic, with this being the last episode to be broadcast during Elisabeth Sladen’s lifetime.

A good episode, if lacking enough to be particularly special. And with that, I’m up to date with The Sarah Jane Adventures! Next will be a mix of Blake’s 7 and the current series of Doctor Who…