Petticoat Pirates (1961)

" You long haired idiot.

Meh. I mean, this film isn't exactly terrible, but there's a reason why it- and Charlie Drake- are pretty much forgotten.

Yes, the social attitudes on display here are different from today, and one must make allowances. But that's not really an excuse. The same could be said of the Carry On films, and they are far superior to this mildly amusing but underwhelming comedy about the hilarity that ensues when a Royal Navy frigate is taken over by women. The sexism on display is not particularly extreme by the standards of the time, and the whole "battle of the sexes" angle is good humoured, and the ladies pretty much come out on top. Regardless of social attitudes, a film is either good or not, and this film is not.

No, it's not that. And nor is it the script, which may not be brilliant but is perfectly serviceable. Nor, mostly, is it the cast. Anne Heywood, in particular, is superb.

No: it's Charlie Drake. He's just not very good. He's a very generic Norman Wisdom type comedy actor, with no charisma and no discernible talent. For him to have apparently become a star simply beggars belief.

Perhaps I'm being a little harsh. The film is harmless enough, and passes the time. But any humour is mild, and much of the interest comes from the fact that this film is an artifact from another time. I'd suggest, sadly, that this isn't exactly a film greatly worth bothering with.

Behemoth the Sea Monster (1959)

"Behemoth!"

In thought I'd announce the end of that mini-hiatus and the return of normal blogging with a true cinematic classic but, er, something went a bit wrong. Sorry.

Still, this film may be a typically melodramatic Fifties monster movies and oh-so-very-atomic age, played dead straight with dramatic musical stings in the right places, but there's some real quality here. Gene Evans may be a token piece of plywood to draw in American cinemagoers, yes, but Andre Morell, fresh from Quatermass and the Pit, gives a performance that is far more nuanced and charismatic than it needs to be, and the film is well-directed in a way that belies its tiny budget. Best of all, the elderly Willis O'Brien, he of King Kong and The Lost World fame, handles the monster effect and does so with real aplomb.

Mind you, Jack MacGowran's comedy paleontologist is the best thing in it, a welcome piece of comic relief. But, for all its straightforward genre plot, the film allows the tension to build until we have a massive and radioactive dinosaur-cum-plesiosaur in the Thames next to Tower Bridge, and what's not to love about that? I care not that the beast rampaging through London reminds me uncannily of a 1980s Chewits advert; this is a genuinely well-made film and worth seeing if you happen to be fond of this splendid genre.