Batman: The Animated Series- What Is Reality?

 "A pixel is worth a thousand words..."

It's 1992. Of course there's going to be a virtual reality episode. And, the zeitgeist back then being what it was, we get a Neuromancer-style Cyberspace experience with the Riddler controlling his own virtual world in an episode that's fun and fascinating in and of itself, in its use of the character of the Riddler, and as a product of its time, the year when Snow Crash was published and with the Cyberpunk genre changing all around it.

The Riddler begins by erasing all references to Edward Nygma, eager to embrace who he now is and forsaking a past of betrayal and nominative determinism. But much of the fun is seeing how quickly and easily Batman, Robin and even Alfred deal with some really rather difficult riddles.

Ultimately, though, the surreality and sheer spectacle of the thing is quite simply a joy- the chessboard scene, in particular, is such a delightful riff on Alice in Wonderland. And if, in a cartoon made in 1992, and episode like this did not exist, that would be deeply and profoundly wrong.

Batman: The Animated Series- If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?

 "How much is a good night's sleep worth?"

It was the 1960s Batman TV series that really popularised the Riddler as a villain, with only a couple of appearances in the comics at that point, so it's appropriate that this episode should feel, structurally, much like said TV series. Robin is in it. Our heroes confront the villain and his henchmen early on, are defeated, and come back later to save the day. There's even a deathtrap, albeit not for our heroes.

Yet the mood is very much par for the Animated Series, an aesthetic of creepy amusement parks at night and shadowy figures in murky rooms. And we get a version of the Riddler's traditional origin story, the creation his former employers are ripping him off for being a computer game in this version. I like that. I also like that, yes, Mockridge is saved... but, with the Riddler getting away, he may be rich but now lives in fear. He's rich, yes, but not smart.

There's a surprising slight bias to puzzles as opposed to riddles, perhaps, but this is an entertaining little episode, the little puzzles in the maze being enormous fun. I suppose we'll just have to see if the Riddler as a character has any legs beyond this origin story, 

Scrooged (1988)

"Where are we? Trump Tower?"

This is my Christmas movie to slot in before said holiday properly commences. There may or may not be others. We shall see. It's a good way, for now, to try and forget that bleeding election.

And a bloody good Christmas movie it is. The opening is wonderful with a series of bizarre scene of Santa, his elves and, er, Lee Majors, all taking part in a shootout at the North Pole. We soon learn that this is just a television programme, and are introduced to the mean and cynical Frank Cross, a Sscrooge for our time who just happens to be producing a live televised version of A Christmas Carol.

The plot runs as we'd expect, of course, but that's the point- this is like a very different cover of a classic song. So here we have a Christmas Carol in '80s New York, where the Ghost of Chrstmas Past not only drives a yellow cab but is played by the lead singer of the New York Dolls. Bill Murray is awesome, and behind the scenes arguments with Richard Donner don't seem to show up on screen at all. We even get the great Robert Mitchum in a supporting role as Frank's boss.

The ending wouldn't fly today- a hostage situation, with a gun, as a major part of a happy ending. But there's no denying that this is a true Christmas comedy, full of Christmas spirit without being excessively schmaltzy. It's warm, it's comforting, but it's not afraid to use the dark side of humour too. A real seasonal classic.

Batman & Robin (1997)

"This is why Superman works alone!”

Oh dear. What an absolutely terrible film. Incoherent, full of meaningless bangs and explosions, and with ridiculous overacting from Schwarzenegger and Thurman in particular, and a bafflingly miscast George Clooney who plays Batman as a generic superhero of the sort you simply can’t imagine beating up criminals for information like he used to when he was Michael Keaton.

Indeed, Clooney seems to be channelling Adam West as a goody-goody Batman but with absolutely none of the camp humour that was the whole point. And, after largely ditching Tim Burton’s moody darkness reflective of the ‘80s comics, this film drops it entirely. We may have the same Alfred and the same Jim Gordon, but this is otherwise unrecognisable from those distant-seeming Tim Burton days.

The whole thing is just cartoonish and silly. Arnie hams it up as Mr Freeze (always a rubbish villain) from the start, and those constant terrible puns completely erase any possible pathos that could potentially be supplied by his motivation to cure his wife. But even worse is the appallingly silly performance from Thurman, an otherwise talented actress, who completely sends up the character of Poison Ivy, although of course the script does that anyway. Bane is wasted as a generic henchman and Jason Woodrow just gets to be a generic mad scientist to twirl his moustache for a bit and get killed. The whole movie is a tick box exercise of featuring various characters for the sake of it and just wasting them.

Perhaps the worst case of this is Barbara Gordon, although for some reason here she’s Alfred’s niece instead of Jim’s daughter- she unexpectedly turns up from England without telling anyone, for some reason wearing her school uniform, and claims to be English although Alicia Silverstone isn’t bothering with the accent. And then plot convenience let’s her discover the Batcave and a costume that Alfred made for her on the off-chance(!), and she duffs up Poison Ivy in spite of having no apparent combat experience or athletic prowess. This is all just very silly.

And I haven’t even mentioned THOSE nipples, and the scenes with Batman and Robin bidding in the millions for Poison Ivy. Can we just end the franchise now? Oh.