The Dark Crystal (1982)

“Prophets don't know everything."

This is a decidedly odd film, and it’s easy to forget that. A heroic fantasy set on another world with an extremely detailed backstory and completely made-up races, no human characters and no concession to the modern world; so far, so early ‘80s fantasy film boom, perhaps. But this film is 100% literal muppets.

So we have a crystal that shattered a thousand years ago and altered nature- nothing grows and there are no children for the evil Skeksis- whose puppets are awesome- or the nice but incredibly lazy mystics- who look like, well, muppets- who set around doing sod all as their Gelfling neighbours are exterminates and Podlings neighbours enslaved, in spite of allegedly having magic. Clearly they’re very rubbish wizards.

Not rubbish, though, are our Gelfling heroes, muppets who speak without moving their mouths: a boy called Jen  and a winged girl called Kira who, as the last of their kind, are morally obliged to do lots and lots of 18 rated stuff after the film ends.

The film is s rather good example of the early ‘80s fashion for fantasy films, but what really impresses are the sets and the many, many different types of muppet creature. Add this to a cast of decent character actors who don’t usually get to star, and some solid world building leading to a fantasy myth type plot that all looks Joseph Campbell, and we have a film that very much deserves its cult status.

Labyrinth (1986)

"It's only forever. Not long at all."

This film is all about two departed individuals- Jim Henson, the creative mind behind a fantasy film whose fantastic beasts are, in the best possible way, Muppets; and the similarly missed David Bowie, arguably the greatest solo artist who ever lived and a true genius right up until the end. I can't help observing, though, that this major Hollywood starring role came at a time when his career had entered its mid-'80s slump, having failed to match the commercial success of Let's Dance and not really to experience a sustained career renaissance until (unorthodox opinion alert) Earthling. In this film he's the same age I am now, a sobering thought.

But what of the film? Well, it's '80s Hollywood fantasy in the best possible way, redolent of both Time Bandits and The NeverEnding Story in that it plucks a child from the world of the mundane and plucks them into a world of fantasy and adventure. Indeed, the first two thirds of the script bear the indelible imprint of the great Terry Jones, however much his contribution may have been changed. Certainly, the great Sir Didymus, a part of popular culture whom I am now finally able to know, reminds me of nothing more than the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail which was, I believe, a Jones/Palin scene.

Jennifer Connelly is splendid as the teenage, fantasy obsessed lead and Bowie is, well, magnificently himself as the Goblin King, with plenty of musical numbers to match. I suspect the fantasy world is based on items within Sarah's bedroom; certainly the Escher painting finale is. And my fellow Doctor Who fans will be reminded not only of Castrovalva but, because of a certain riddle, Pyramids of Mars. It's a picaresque, absurdly humorous little movie that channels Alice in Wonderland in the most splendidly '80s way possible. Not to be missed.