True Blood: Everything Is Broken

"I wanted to meet the sick fuck who ordered the veggie burger with bacon."

No wonder Eric and Pam are panicking; Russell Edgington is going to be very angry. But it gets worse as Nan Flanagan arrives to investigate the dealing in V. It's a sensitive time politically, with just two more states needing to ratify the Vampire Rights Amendment. Heaven forbid that something should go wrong.

Sookie and Bill meanwhile are getting all erotic with each other, even sooner than I predicted. Bill admits he's been keeping a file on Sookie and her relatives with similar powers- he has to know what she is, but she seems fine with that.

An apparently far more solid couple are Lafayette and Jesus, who continue to be sweet together. Rather more disturbing are Jason and Crystal, especially when Felton comes for her once again.

Eric puts in a good performance at his trial, but he's still in deep trouble until, unexpectedly and not entirely convincingly, he gets off for political reasons. Tara and Holly connect at a rape survivor meeting, and it turns out that Sookie's son has her powers too- I'm sure this will become significant later. So many plot threads, yet it's all coherent, and the characters are developed beautifully. True Blood is indeed magnificent.

Terry reacts wonderfully to Arlene's confession that the baby isn't hers, which means that the baby itself, not him, is going to be the source of trouble. Another Damien? 

There's hope for Hoyt and Jessica as they have a nice and potentially healing chat. There's fear and despair for Tara as the disgusting Frannklin turns up, alive and well and as entitled as ever. Crystal again chooses her abusive, inbred family over Jason.

But the climax is rather dramatic, as Russell Edgington dramatically kills a newsreader live on air and makes a rather dramatic speech ensuring that, for Nan Flanagan and her supporters, everything is indeed broken...

True Blood: Night on the Sun

"This is Holly, your new waitress. Don't sleep with her."

So, after last week, it's all doom and gloom for Sookie's and Bill's relationship. This is it. Definitely. It's over.

I give them two episodes to get back together, tops.

There's also a rather big domestic between Russell and Talbot, fallout from Russell's impulsive killing of the Magister, something which needs to be hushed up rather sharpish. Can he trust Eric to keep schtum?

Bill returns home and unexpectedly releases Jessica: he has no time for her in his complex life right now. She's upset about this, but at least they part with a hug. 

Alcide, meanwhile, is staying with Sookie. Hmm. Not good for Bill. Neither is the fact that both Andy and Jason want her to press charges against Bill. Tara continues to deal with her recent trauma, and Crystal turns up at Jason's unexpectedly; Felton is beating her up and it seems she and Jason are together again. Oh, and Merlotte's has a new waitress.

Crystal was "promised" to Felton at the age of four- what kind of people are these? On a happier note, it looks as though Lafayette and Jesus are back together. 

We end with Russell going after Sookie, with Bill and Jessica there to protect her. Meanwhile, though, Eric is finally exacting revenge for his family by fucking and then killing Talbot. The King is not amused...

That's True Blood for you. Every week the stakes get raised again.

True Blood: Trouble

"The only power he has over us is the power we give him."

The Machiavellian King continues with his complex skulduggery, playing chess with the lives of people and vampires. His solution to the various claims and counter claims on who was or was not dealing V is simply to get rid of the Magister, on open defiance of the vampire tradition to which he surely owes his own position. Can he really keep all these plates spinning? Television drama tends not to be forgiving of hubris.

In other plot threads, Jason continues in his increasingly farcical attempts to get Andy to employ him as a cop, while Franklin's abuse of Tara becomes more and more distressing as he expects her to "love" him.

It's happier news for Lafayette as his mum'snurse, Jesus, asks him out, and the two of them begin a rather sweet romance, and Jason is attracted to Crystal, a mysterious girl from the wrong side of town. Secrets are hinted at, naturally. Eric, meanwhile, finds his father's crown among Edgington's stuff, meaning that it was he who killed Eric's family...

But the episode is focused on the true horror of Tara's situation, with her captor proposing to "turn" her, making her his for eternity. This is very, very dark stuff. 

We end with Sookie, backed into a corner, once more using her light powers, in an episode about secrets, revelations and, yes, male violence against women. It all very good, if very dark.

True Blood: 9 Crimes

"Well, maybe the man you love only ever existed inside your head?"

This is the episode where, after some odd behaviour by Bill, his and a distraught Sookie's relationship goes Deep South. At first she disbelieves the fact that he's apparently dumped her by phone, but things look grim. Especially as Sookie and Alcide seem to have chemistry; he looks suspiciously like a sudden new love interest. His relationship situation- an ex gone bad- even parallels hers. Oh, and he's a werewolf.

Meanwhile, Sam's useless and now homeless family continues to sponge off him, but as now we have little clue as to where this is going. And we see an erotic dream about Sookie and Eric... but it's his dream, not hers.

Most chilling, though, is Franklin and his pursuit and kidnapping of Tara; he's aren't ooh example of an abusive man in how he talks and acts and she's completely at his mercy. The fact that he's a vampire is an obvious metaphor here; someone who seemed, at first, to be kind and concerned, is in fact disturbingly and casually controlling, with a breathtaking but completely unexamined sense of male entitlement. He's far more terrifying than anything we've seen before.

Elsewhere, Jason realises he's getting older, a fed up Bud retires formally as sheriff in favour of Andy(!) and Bill rats on the Queen (and Eric) to Russell Edgington as V-dealers. It seems that Sophie-Ann needs the money. This leads to a raid on Fangtasia by the Magister and Pam being held prisoner after V is found. Eric has 24 hours to find Bill, his scapegoat, or she dies. There's a lot of intense vampire politics all of a sudden, with power games and little proxy wars.

 Eric deepens his interest in Lafayette as an employee. Jason decides he wants to be a cop. And Edgington is still consorting with werewolves- what's he up to? 

We end with Sookie running from a load of male werewolves in a thematic episode about male violence to women- even Bill bites the girl he "procures" for the King, but worst of all is Tara's kidnapping and multiple rape, which makes for deeply uncomfortable viewing.

True Blood: It Hurts Me Too

"I got your rug all wet!"

The King is still very curious about Bill and Sookie; why has he not turned her, as he did with Talbot centuries ago? It's that old chestnut again. Elsewhere, Sookie and Eric both realise they need to go to Jackson, Mississippi to find Bill.

Elsewhere, Tara has what she is determined to be a one night stand with vampire Franklin, while Jason finds his obsession for this season; he wants to be a cop. Oh dear. It's not good for Arlene, either: her baby can't possibly be Terry's and must be Rene's. Again, oh dear.

Nobody has a particularly good time; Tara sits tearfully through Eggs' sparse funeral as Bill has an unhappy flashback from 1868 which explains why he could never again see his family, Sam's birth family start to sponge off him and Bud quits as sheriff after one murder too many.

Bill's flashback seems thematically related to his acceptance of service to the King; has he dumped Sookie in doing so? This is paralleled (a device this series uses a lot) as Eric underlines Lafayette's status as his V-dealing employee with a gift of a swampy car. More ominously, Franklin visits Tara and glamours her. And Sookie meets the mysterious Alcide.

Again, so much going on. But it's all good stuff and I'm intrigued where this very unpredictable season is headed...

True Blood: Beautifully Broken

"You drank from my guest!"

It seems the werewolves are all underlings of the mysterious and charismatic Russell Edgington, the King of Mississippi- do all fifty states have a vampire monarch, and are all of them as odd as the two we've seen? The King has an agenda, a fractious relationship with his boyfriend Russell and a troubling willingness to consort with werewolves, which is Simply Not Done among aristocratic vampires. On the other hand, I'd imagine that owning a bed once possessed by Elizabeth Bathory is de rigeur.

Sookie sets off a flashback to Augsburg during the collapse of the Third Reich in 1945 when she tells Eric of the werewolf connection, where he and Godric are looking for werewolves.

Tara is utterly distraught at the death of her one true love but Lafayette, a wise and good person beneath it all, is wonderful in looking after her. Poor Jessica wants Hoyt back but "it's too late". Sam learns that his "real" family are poor, feckless and not much to write home about. Not many people are happy, but at least Sookie's there to do an impression of Bill and cheer us all up. (Btw, a thought- both Bill and Angel from Angel- Liam- are called William. A little nod?)

The King wants Bill's secrets, and won't let him leave. That's unfortunate, as he had Lorena with him. Tara meets a vampire played by the familiar James Frain, and Sookie and Eric, like Bill before, are attacked by werewolves...

This is the episode where everything shifts into new areas. It isn't clear where things are going yet, but True Blood is as great as ever.

Marvel's Agent Carter: Bridge and Tunnel

"What's your first name?"

"Agent."

"That has a ring to it..."

Two episodes in and I'm rather enjoying this. Hayley Atwell is great, and I'm loving the mockery of 1940s social attitudes, objects and fashions, although 1940s suits looked awful. Really awful. '70s awful. Still, the fetishisation of 1940s is a delight, as are the constant reminders that this is the Atomic Age. And the framing device of the Captain America radio drama is the icing on the cake. The constant juxtaposition of the simpering Peggy from the radio show to the kick-ass reality is a delight. Plus it reminds me of going to see that Round the Horne thing in Leicester Square several years ago. And I bet very few of my readers will get that reference.

It's a delicious contrast; Peggy is so very kickass yet again, going undercover with aplomb and fighting a baddie on the top of a van, yet at work she's expected to do the filing and answer the phone, and if she gets caught working for Stark she's in deep doo doo. 

There are lots of other nice touches; I loved the literal carrot and stick. And the '40s fashions and radiation aspect- in fact, the plot itself and the heroine put in frequent peril- make this feel very much like a '40s movie serial. I suspect that's intended.

Only at the end do we find a chink in Carter's stiff upper lip armour; Jarvis, who admires her and sees her for who she is, sees that she's afraid of letting people get too close to her unless they get killed- like her last flatmate. So we end (after a jaw-dropping interview with the landlady) with Peggy agreeing to live next door to her friend Angie. Let's hope Angie lives...

Loving this. Can't believe there are just six episodes to go.

Marvel's Agent Carter: Now Is Not the End

"You're an agent. They treat you like a secretary."

First impressions count for a lot, which is fortunate, as first signs are great here. Like Mad Men, this miniseries hangs a lot of its charm on recreating the look and feel of the middle of the last century, and succeeds magnificently with the cars, the (awful) clothes and the social mores. There's also more than a little influence from Raymond Chandler, and many of the action sequences look like a film that could star the likes of Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman.

This isn't, despite the presence of Enver Gjokaj, a Mutant Enemy production, and Joss Whedon's involvement is even less than it is with Agents of SHIELD. The writing, though, is excellent, even if I haven't ever heard of the writers. It's fun seeing the Marvel Universe in 1946, with Howard Stark being just like his son (albeit on the run from a thinly veiled HUAC), and names like Roxxon and Abraham Erksine. We also have, of course, Jarvis, an engagingly Giles-like character.

Hayley Atwell, though, is magnificent as a kind of stiff-upper-lipped River Song for the 1940s, engaging in setting-do with the best of them and, in a nice little scene, giving a sexist, groping bastard in a diner a bit of a shock; this woman has balls. And yet she is, privately at least, devastated at the death of her flatmate, a death that happened because of her.

This is a splendid opener, much more so than the pilot for Agents of SHIELD. This series promises to be good. So let's have a UK screening please!

Grimm: The Ungrateful Dead

"This ain't over yet!"

The zombie flick continues with the first episode of Season Three, and Nick begins the new season as a zombie himself. It's all action, and we end with the realisation that there's still more of this epic tale to come.

One effect of the amount of time that has elapsed since last season wrapped is that Hank is no longer on crutches. But it's all pretty much as we expected; our Wesen good guys versus zombies. One interesting consequence of this, though, is that Renard is now clearly a fully-fledged member of the Grimm Scooby gang. There's a plane crash, lots of evidence of a bigger budget than usual, and assorted signifiers of a high stakes episode. Juliette continues to show herself as a valuable addition to the gang, suggesting making the zombie antidote as a gas.

Giuntoli as a zombie is great, even charismatic- why can't he be like this every week? Meanwhile, Adalind, after a spell of great visual effectiveness, has her powers back...

I like this fast-moving version of Grimm, but I bet we'll be back to the story of the week soon.

Grimm: Goodnight, Sweet Grimm

"To be continued. Oh, come on- you knew this was coming!"

At last the season finale. For once it feels as though things are in flux and things may not necessarily just return to the status quo, especially as we end with the inevitable cliffhanger.

Thinks begin quite slow and low-key, as Nick and Juliette continue to fall in love again and Sean Renard continues to spy on his brother, who wants the key. Adalind, meanwhile, in her own separate sub-plot, prepares a rather evil body swap with Frau Pech, leading to the latter's demise. 

We get some background between brothers Sean and Eric; Eric's mother tried to kill Sean's, and Sean had to leave Geneva at thirteen. It's an awkward conversation as the two of them circle warily around each other.

Things are more pleasant with Nick and Juliette, as for the first time he tells her about his day, zombies and all, and she involves herself in the case, her skills as a vet eventually proving useful. This is a huge turning point for both their relationship and the show's status quo.

The fight against the zombies becomes desperate, however, as Nick is infected by Baron Samedi and sealed into a coffin.

Grimm: The Waking Dead

"How did they come up with the name, do you suppose? They have a port. They have land. Really put a lot of thought into that one..."

The season will be over at the end of next episode, so we'd better get on with the arc plot; after an unusually long "previously on" we turn to the pregnant Adalind, planning to get her powers back but, at the moment, busy shagging Prince Eric Renard until his dad the King calls at an awkward moment. And there's a nice brief moment of domestic bliss for Juliette and Nick. Then we get the zombies.

The zombies are fun. I love the sight of seeing Grimm forget its usual format and just wallow in zombie tropes. This being Grimm, though, the cultural source of the zombie meme is remembered, so we get a suitably voodoo Haitian chap called (what else?) Baron Samedi. We know from very early on that this is going to be a good 'un. And all this is juxtaposed with a bizarre, episode-long magic spell in which Adalind succeeds in regaining her powers.

Another subplot, our little bit of comedy to counterpoint the epic, features Juliette diving headlong into Wesen lore and insisting on seeing all of her friendly neighbourhood Wesen with their bestial faces. But it's all about the zombies, Baron Samedi and their employer Prince Eric, all of whom touch down in Portland, sparking off a zombie outbreak. We've had the set-up; time for the season finale. ..

Grimm: One Angry Fuchsbau

"Well, he dropped a toad. In the men's room."

That's weird; a courtroom drama, in Grimm, based on 12 Angry Men. Naturally, the defence counsel is one of those toad munching Wesen with persuasion powers, who also uses these powers to pick up girls in a rather rapey way. It's another good one, which even packs in a good bit of farce near the end. The accused, naturally, is a Brit. We're evil, us lot.

Meanwhile, though, Monroe shows the trailer to Juliette in order to jog her memory. But only partial memories resurface, and that's seemingly it. Then she remembers the woman from La Llorana; we all know where this subplot is going next. And Adalind is hobnobbing around in a CGI castle with Eric Renard.

Can nothing spoil this run of quality?

Grimm: The Other Side

"He's gonna have a tough time in prison!"

Something's happened to Grimm. Up until now it's been a fairly good but not outstanding show, in US terms definitely network rather than cable. But I'm noticing an upturn in quality, mainly because of the increased emphasis on the arc. Episodes are no longer self-contained to the extent that they were, and this has worked wonders with the characterisation.

There is a story of the week, of course; a bunch of gifted kids are being picked off one by one (and yes, the black kid dies first), and there`s a rather neat twist about which of them did it; he is two types of Wesen simultaneously, what with genetic engineering and that, but is in denial about his Lowen half.

So let`s get back to the arc stuff, shall we? Juliette and Nick are flirting a little, possibly a positive step after Juliette`s amnesia. But Captain Renard, under the influece of Adalind`s magic, is obsessively staking her, at one point lurking outside as she showers, in a scene deliberately evoking Psycho. There`s a new intern at the precinct, seemingly a huge fanboy of Nick and Hank.

But the biggest thing here is the introduction of Sean Renard`s deliciously villainous royal brother Eric, played by James Frain from The Tudors but having absolutely nothing in common with Thomas Cromwell as a character. Things are seeded for later episodes as he chats to Adalind(!) in a CGI castle in Vienna. It seems Sean and Eric are half-brothers, not exactly close, and that Sean`s brother absconded with a Hexenbeist. Nick is discussed...

Our good Captain is preoccupied with his growing obsession over Juliette for the moment, though, and elicits help from Monroe. But it seems there is no hope, and the symptoms can only get worse...

The Tudors: Season Three, Episode 8

"I think she looks fit for a king..."

Poor Cromwell. He`s a bastard, but nobody deservs that.

This is a dramatic episode, in which Cromwell suffers his gruesome death, Anne of Cleves gets both promoted to the opening credits and divorced, and the King meets the young Catherine Howard. It`s quite a finale.

We start with the King desperate to get out of his marriage; Cromwell is under a lot of pressure. We also have the bizarre prospect of a budding romance between the uber-Catholic Princess Mary and Anne`s equally Lutheran cousin, Philip of Bavaria. She begins to fall in love with him, and then the King sends him away; his association with his cousin makes him persona non grata. It`s begining to look as though poor Mary will die a frustrated spinster.

Sexual frustration is not something a king has to put up with, and so he duly gets Sir Francis Bryan to scour his mother`s aristocratic orphanage for a bit of posh totty. They come up with the pretty, rather dim and disturbingly young Catherine Howard who is "a little wild". Lucky girl. The King is, unmistakeably,  a dirty old man. Scenes of their "courtship" are juxtaposed with the rather more meaningful courtship between Mary and Philip. Inevitably, naked bodies intertwine. How, er, romantic.

 We first realise that Cromwell is doomed when the King gives him a vote of confidence. Shortly thereafter the King is told by Brandon (with whom he is close these days) that the French want him removed. At the following council meeting the friendless Cromwell is arrested for treason, and there follows nothing but horror. Even the slimy Richard Rich turns against him.

His lack of popularity comes back to bite him as Brandon and Edward Seymour conspire to get his executioner drunk the night before. His execution takes place before a braying crowd, in humiliating scenes which are juxtaposed with scenes of Anne of Cleves being told her marriage is annulled. We then see Cromwell`s botched and tortuous execution as the dissolute Henry emptily shags his teenage lover in a huge folly of a palace...

The Tudors: Season Three, Episode 7

"My country is not a brothel, and my sister is not a whore."

We are once again reminded of England`s, and Henry`s, low status on the European stage, as invasion is feared from both France and the Habsburg lands. Preparations are made for the kingdom`s defence; even Scotland seems set to join in. However, a bloke with a spyglass (many decades before Galileo...) reports that the armada in the channel seems to be heading for Spain. Phew.

The crisis is over. Chapuys is back at court. Francis still hates Charles V, to the point of allying with the Ottomans against him. England is a second rate power, a piggy in the middle. Its diplomatic ambitions, handled by an increasingly desperate Cromwell, are limited to finding a pretty wife for the king from mighty Cleves, a tiny little speck on a map of the Holy Roman Empire. Maps of the Holy Roman Empire are terrifying things. Cleves is not, and its Duke William is portrayed as a comedy character, indeed the only real comic relief in an ominous episode.

 Sir Francis Bryan is continuing his counter-espionage against Cardinal Pole, whie Charles Brandon and Edward Seymour (now Earl of Hertford) attempt a rapprochement; can their mutual loathing for Cromwell draw them together? Both are keen for the marriage to go wrong,

Anne of Cleves reaches Calais, and has a perceptive comment: "I do not know what to make of the King. He burns one Lutheran, and then marries another?" She is, for the moment, veiled, to maximise suspense. Brandon is teaching her how to play piquet as we once again get a look at those sixteenth century playing cards. The King, meanwhile, is feeling the sexual excitement of being about to possess utterly a complete stranger.

And then we see Anne`s face, and she`s Joss Stone. As with many singers turned actors she does a good job with the part, although it must have been insulting to be asked to play the ugly one. Especially as the King`s first words after her unveiling are "I like her not". He goes on to say that she looks like "a horse, a Flanders mare". For the record, I think Joss Stone is quite pretty.

Henry is disappointed, and soon rounds on Cromwell. It`s going to get worse, too; he isn`t getting any sex. The final scene is of Henry masturbatingn bed while his humiliated wife lies silently beside him.

The Tudors: Season Three, Episode 6

"We have both lost our youth, and there is nothing in the world that can return it to us."

 No predominant plot thread this week, just lots of pieces being moved, all over the board, so that they`re in place for the season finale in a couple of episodes` time. That probably isn`t good news for Cromwell.

We begin with Henry appointing Brandon as chief minister in preference to Cromwell, a signnot only of Cromwell`s slow fall but an indication that the king, now in his late forties, is putting his trust in old friends of his own generation. He isn`t getting any younger and that leg of his bleeding well hurts. He is forced to have a painful operation to remove the ulcer, but there is only so much that can be done; Henry is shown parading the young Edward before adoring crowds, but his limp is as pronounced as ever.

 It`s not a good episode to be a close family member of Cardinal Reginald Pole, all of whom are arrested for treason by Sir Francis Bryan. Including the small boy. Such is justice for those who threaten the king by having the effrontery to have a stronger claim to the throne than he does. Pole`s brother, Lord Montague, is interrogated by Edward Seymour, and things don`t look good; he is, after all,described as "the last of the Plantagenets, the last of the White Rose". Most disturbingly, Henry, not in the best of moods because of his leg, fulminates against little boy Pole. That`s the thing with aritrary, authoritarian rule; coming to the attention of the ruler while said ruler is in a bad mood can be fatal. We end with Lady Salisbury`s cruelly sudden execution ("Have you not been praying, Lady? Your head is going to be cut off now"). She dies scared, pleading. Her little grandson`s fate is unertain.

In what should in theory be happier news, the King is looking for bride number four, and Cromwellis anxious that it should be to someone from the Protestant League, which consists of a million German microstates only theoretical allegiance to their Catholic, Habsburg Emperor. The only serious Catholic candidate, the Duchess of Milan, comes subject to Charles V`s veto, which can only end on way. The Catholic route is closed, so Cromwell suggests one of the Cleves sisters...

Cromwell, following last episode`s epiphany that the rather high church Henry is not exactly his kindred spirit in matters of religion, is in a spot of bother; his friend John Lambert is refusing to sign the Six Articles of which we heard last week,and faces being burnt as a heretic. We see him being burnt at the stake ina typically graphic execution scene.

Cromwell now faces, by association, scrutiny of his own beliefs. He even finds himself interrogated by the King; his position is looking increasingly precarious.

The Tudors: Season Three, Episode 5

"I miss her, Will."

This episode features a game of chess involving Max Von Sydow. Metatextual or what?

It`s 1538. The King is depressed, distracted, and for much of the episode will only speak to someone later revealed to be his fool, Will Somers. It's hard not to see a King Lear reference here, which tells us something about how we're supposed to see Henry's state of mind.

Politics is turbulent, with factions and even assassinations, and the central figure is an increasingly disliked Cromwell. There is a veritable whodunit underway, and court becomes an increasingly violent place while the King remains indisposed. Cromwell, controversially, summons the King's Counsel, which could be (and is) seen as an usurpation of royal authority. If so, it is a failed attempt; all the members storm out, led by the Duke of Suffolk, leaving only Cromwell's creature Richard Rich. Power is slipping away.

The king, still distracted, casually agrees with Cromwell that he should seek a new wife. But he's in mourning, getting fat. 

This doesn't last, though, and when the King returns to action it's a harsh realisation for Cromwell as Henry demands that the church adopt six acts of faith, some of which are a bit Catholic; confession, no married priests, etc. It suddenly dawns on Cromwell that the King only supported reform so he could get his divorce and his heir; he never was a Protestant true believer. And now that the King has what he wanted from reform  there will be no more; Lutherans and "heretics" are to face a traitor's death. The articles are read out over the King, symbolically renewed, shagging Ursula Missenden. Cromwell is distraught.

In other news, Prince Edward is the most cosseted child in history; Sir Francis Bryan continues to pursue Pole; Brandon is still awkward with his pregnant wife after his part in the massacre; and Edward Seymour is plotting against Bryan. But all eyes are on Cromwell, whose fall we know is coming.

The Tudors: Season Three, Episode 4

"I have a son?"

It`s fast-moving, this season. It`s quickly becoming apparent that the "one wife per season" limit is going to be breached, and things seem to be speeding up.

The rebellion plotline comes to an end in a predictably bloody manner; Sir Ralph Ellerker sells out his mates and gets to live. Aske, having integrity, is executed and dies bewildered. He begs Cromwell's pardon before he dies so his family will not be hurt- at this point the entire viewership is waiting for Cromwell to get his comeuppance. Aske's death is shown graphically and in slow motion.

Even worse than this, though, is the massacre of the legions of humbler rebels. Brandon observes the slaughter of women and children, slaughter that he himself has ordered on Henry's behalf, and is utterly shattered by it. It's hard not to sympathise; he has a wife and son. He had no choice but to obey the tyrant. Yet his pregnant wife is disgusted with him.

Still, they really are out to get Henry. Reginald Pole is trying to convince Francis I to go on a crusade against England, which is a crime in anyone's book. Sir Francis Bryan, returning to his old spying ways; tend to think of spying as more of an Elizabethan thing, with Walsingham and Marlowe and that, but it must of course be amongst the oldest of professions.

Henry may have no time for the Pope, and he may have swung towards Protestantism when it suited him, but kings are fickle creatures and he now wishes to stamp out "evangelical excesses". To this end he is demanding articles of faith. The very Protestant Cromwell is on thinner ice than ever before: Henry tells Edward Seymour that "It was the rebels who demanded Mr Cromwell's head. And, by doing so, they saved it."

We are therefore introduced to the decidedly non-Protestant Bishop Stephen Gardiner, hammer of the heretics, played by no less a figure than Simon Ward. The pendulum appears to be swinging back.

Jane Seymour, pregnant with (at last!) a son for the king, is realistic enough to urge Ursula Missenden to "be a comfort" to the king. She wants Mary, with whom she is close, to be with her during what will be a difficult birth. A caesarean is required, and in those days such interventions were invariably fatal for the mother. Jane's death, so early in the season, is as shocking for us as it as it is for Henry. Henry is devastated; he genuinely loved Jane, although a cynic would say he just hadn't had enough time to get bored of her.

Still, Henry has his son now...

The Tudors: Season Three, Episode 3

"For some very good reasons, I am determined to save you."

1537 begins, and it promises to be a bloody year. Programmes like The Tudors, of necessity, tack to a "Great Man" philosophy of history; we see little of ordinary people beyond the world of the court. Here, with the rebellion in Yorkshire, we get a rare glimpse of life for ordinary people, and it's not nice at all. People have their welfare safety net ripped away, and all the old familiar things, and when they protest they are tortuously executed by the hordes. This reminds us that, fun though psychopathic tyrants may be, there is a human cost to them.

We begin with Henry's more amusing little quirks; he forgives Hans Holbein his trespasses as he is a genius, much as Pope Clement VII did with Michelangelo last season. The rebels do not receive such leniency, being less exalted. And even Mary's old governess, the Countess of Salisbury, faces an uncertain future as the mother of the traitor Reginald Pole.

Sir Francis Bryan, interestingly, is sleeping with Edward Seymour's wife, cowgirl style ("That was entertaining!"). Seymour deserves his cuckoldry, not bothering to inform his royal sister of their father's death for a whole week. More innocently, Mary is beloved of the people and especially of Robert Aske and the rebels. She, for the moment, is in favour and cannot be accused of treason. Few others can claim this luxury.

Henry, with Jane`s full knowledge, is having an affair with Ursula Missenden that woud be treason if it were she doing it and not he. This has the side-effect of the priapic Bryan not being able to have his wicked way with her. Henry is less stable than he was, dismising Cromwell because of his "low birth". This won`t last.

Another rising takes plac in the north, and it is obvious from the start that the only possible end to it is bloodshed and heads on pikes. It is the Duke of Suffolk who is made to dip his hands into the blood, as the underlings of tyrants must, ordering death and torture, breaking earlier promises to the rebels and deeply traumatising himself by doing so. A red hot poker is shoved up an arse. 74 summary hangings are judged "too lenient". Cromwell clashes with his prisoner Lord Darcy, who predicts the former`s imminent beheading. Oddly, though, Cromwell wants to save Aske, for reasons of his own.

Ashe may be spared, but otherwise there is nothing but death and suffering. And yet Henry sees only what he wants to see, as only a tyrant can.

The Tudors: Season Three, Episode 2

"Do you remember what happened to the late Queen?"

The rebellion proceeds apace, and we get a broader look at what it`s about. The people of Yorkshire want their old religious ways, yes, but it`s wider than that; this is a conflict between the old mediaeval world, with its heirarchies, rights and liberties, and old noble families with Henry`s new, proto-absolutist world of centralised power, "new men" and brutal capitaism buttressed by the authoritan state. No more monastical NHS and no more links to a past that does not make money.

 Henry is not in any mood for compromise, much as he pretends to when he must. He is the king, anointed by God, and his word is law. That`s it. Parliament is supine, and all officers of State must work with the King`s wishes. Perhaps this new, even-more-intractable Henry is the result of his wound, still being poked and prodded by "quacks and charlatans." It has long been speculated that his behaviour after 1536 was much affected by it, and this episode provides much to fuel this theory. Henry, on a whim, decides to be nice to Mary, much to the annoyance of the many Protestants at Court. He arrogantly rebukes the petitioners in a way which comes close to Richard II during the Peasants` Revolt, insisting that they are commoners who "are ignorant, and should know their duty". Worst of all, when Jane Seymour pleads for them, he menacingly warns her to stay out of politics if she wishes to avoid the fate of the last Queen.

 More than this, on a personal level, he`s having an affair with Ursula Missenden, and displaying worrying symptoms of megalomania, using the New World, with which  is fascinated, as a metaphor for his new religion.

Henry is not a stable king, and England is not a stable kingdom. Not only is there rebllion in the north but also plotting in Castel Gandolfo, with Reginald Pole accepting a cardinal`s hat and off to chat to Francis I and Charles V. Sir Francis Bryan, although rebuffed by Ursula, is having it off with Edward Seymour`s wife. Henry has made a tactical compromise with the rebes for now, but we all know the bloodbath is coming...