RoboCop 3 (1993)

"We're dead, you stupid slag!"

This final film in the series is, I see, not much liked. And yes, diminishing returns are indeed a thing here with the weakest of the trilogy. But it’s not bad. Well, not that bad.

The general storyline is pretty damn good and deals with the right sort of themes- OCP is now fully under Japanese control, because it’s the early ‘90s and Japanese corporate domination of America in the near future is very much a thing. OCP are peddling some pie in the sky fantasy of a new 1950s utopian city to encourage people to leave their home while employing nasty mercenaries to evict while neighbourhoods just for profit, while there’s a big Japanese sort of ninja-sequel end of level boss lurking in the wings.

Robert John Burke is as good a replacement for Peter Walker as you’re likely to get, and Rip Torn is always good to see. It’s great to see a lot of the usual guest cast, with the Sarge particularly getting to shine. Also, I love the little girl reprogramming ED-209, John Castle as an evil villain straight out of Thatcher’s cabinet, and Nancy gets a meaningful death. This isn’t a bad film.

So why is it not as good as it could be? Well, the script is pretty good, and has the right kind of cynical political subtext, but the dark humour is gone. And the direction, while competent, is action film direction and lacks the visual wit we have come to expect. You have to say the film is well made, the script isn’t bad, but the end result is a little disappointing.

The Monster Squad (1987)

"She's boring. And has an odd-shaped head."

I've never seen this film before today, but it's so similar to so many other films that I may as well have done. There's more than a hint of BMX Bandits in its kids versus baddies shtick. In fact, the bikes look a bit suspiciously Eighties. Also, there are plenty of old-style Pepsi cans on display. Ah, nostalgia…

Another thing this reminds me of is Good Omens, a splendid comedy novel by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, which also uses the whole kids versus supernatural baddies thing to hilarious effect, but I suppose it's a fairly common trope. It works well here, anyway. The child actors are, well, child actors, but they're pretty much ok as child actors go, and the whole thing is amusing enough to work without requiring more than competent performances. The kids are such great characters, though, especially Phoebe. I love their dialogue.

I'm not sure how realistic it is for a bunch of (mostly) twelve year old kids to be so interested in Universal horror movies, of course, but I think we can gloss over that. It's such a joy to see Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Mummy, Frankenstein's monster and, yes, even the Creature from the Black Lagoon, all together at last. There are some nice little subtle bits of homage, too, from the armadillo in the opening titles (evoking the original Dracula), to Frankenstein's monster ("Frank") befriending Phoebe, the little girl. And I'm sure there are plenty more that I've overlooked.

Probably the funniest bit of the film is where we cut to Scary German Guy brandishing a knife, ominously, and then using it to cut a tart for the kiddies because, as we all know, obviously you'd need a really sharp knife for that. Our impression of the character changes completely at the end of the scene, though, when we see those numbers tattooed on his arm. That's probably the only serious moment in the film.

It's all a bit light, perhaps, and it's a very short film, but it's definitely worth a look if you're fond of the many films like this being made at the time. There's even a montage scene with a soundtrack that's way beyond cheesy. It's not a particularly metatextual film, but there are lots of nice little subversions of tropes here. Where else could you see the Wolf Man being kicked in the bollocks?