BMX Bandits (1983)

 "Your little walkie talkies... have gone walkies."

I had my opening line all planned out. You know, Mad Max II, Picnic at Hanging Rock etc always get cited as Australia's greatest cinematic achievement, yet this- a childhood favourite of mine, hired often from a local video shop- never gets a mention.

Well, having seen it again for the first time since the '80s I must admit it's not quite in such exalted company: this is a fairly formulaic action film for kids, notable, to those without my nostalgia, only for the early appearance of Nicole Kidman. But, while a formulaic film can't truly be compared to the greats of the cinematic arts, there's absolutely wrong with using a formula if it's executed well, as this film is. It may not be one of those films helmed by Brian Trenchard-Smith that makes one Mr Tarantino rate him so highly, but it's bloody good fun to watch and a perfect example of this kind of film.

We have charismatic young leads, a quietly witty script, loads of kid-friendly action sequences, and baddies who never actually kill anyone while striking the right balance between comedic and threatening. Best of all, we have loads and loads of extremely cool BMX stunts. This film is every bit as good as my fond memories were hoping for.

Even better, it wears its 80sness loud and proud. One of the baddies wears a Minder T-Shirt with Arthur Daley's face plastered all over it. And Sydney has never looked better than when BMX bikes are being chased by cars. This is a very, very fun way to spend ninety minutes,

Quatermass and the Pit (1967)

 “You realise what you’re implying? That we owe our human condition to the intervention of insects?”

I thought, after all this time, that I'd better get roumd to the last of Hammer's cinematic adaptations of Nigel Kneale's Quatermass serials. This, an adaptation of the best of the three serials, is entirely unlike- and better than- the previous two, both of which were among the earliest Hammer horrors in the early '50s, to the extent that their right to that label may seem somewhat tenuous. But this is 1967, the very height of Hammer Horror...and much more clearly a horror film.

The film does not, of course, match the TV original in quality, necessarily truncated though it is. Much is excused, including Quatermass’ concluding monologue, although the script, by Kneale himself, is a superbly done adaptation. The story is one of mood, theme and character rather than cinematic visuals, but the cinematic medium allows for the building of a feeling of dread towards the end, and a much more visual ending.

Andrew Keir, although good, is no Andre Morell, but both Barbara Shelley and Julian Glover are first rate, and James Donald slowly grew on me. More so than the excellence of the cast, though, the film works superbly well as an old school horror film built on suspense and ideas rather than spectacle, keeping the subtext but moving things in a different direction from the original. And it really, really works.

This, I think, is absolutely one of the finest Hammers.

The Punisher (1989)

"Who sent you?"

"Batman!"

I was pleasantly surprised by this film, I have to say. Not that it's any good, of course; it's a trashy '80s action film starring Dolph Lundgren and is neither big nor clever. What it is, though, is highly entertaining in all it's glorious trashiness throughout. A melodrama may be all it is, but it works.

The film starts with a crude but efficient combination of set piece and exposition which introduces us to Frank Castle, what he does and his backstory. The character isn't very deep, so an actor like Lundgren is all that's required and, moreover, the opening set piece features a doomed baddie who is portrayed with enormous quantities of ham. But the film soon settles down into it's entertaining Mafia vs Yakuza plot, with a bit of buddy buddy cop stuff thrown in there too. The film is well enough shot in its Australian locations and Jeroen Krabbe is also good enough as the mob boss forced to work with Castle. Even the child actors are mostly adequate.

It's all very late '80s, of course, from the music to the hardline attitude to crime, and one thing that really dates it is the subtext (probably not intentional; the film isn't that clever) of Japan gradually overtaking the USA economically, as everyone seemed to think was happening at the time. There's lots of martial arts action, with even the opening titles looking a bit like a martial arts film.

I like Snake too, a much needed comedy character and someone there to remind us of the extremely dodgy ethics of vigilante murder and how it's victims are not only the guilty; the film is hardly philosophical but it avoids presenting the Punisher as a hero, and I like that. The film is what it is, but for me it was both enjoyable and, ignoring small details, a more or less faithful rendering of the comic book character. This is more worth watching than you probably thought.