Nirvana- In Utero (1993)

No time for a Batman tonight; we let Little Miss Llamastrangler stay up for the 8pm clapping (future readers, this was written during the Great Plague of 2020) and, alas, there’s no time to watch and blog before the early bedtime that working from home without full childcare has forced upon me. So here’s another album which I happened to listen to yesterday.

I’m not keen on the concept of having a greatest album of all time (why does everything have to be a bloody competition?) but, if you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose one (please don’t), this would probably be it. Obviously, then, it’s the best Nirvana album by implication.

Why? Well, partly it’s because Kurt Cobain’s songwriting continued to mature and develop with age and experience. He was never an accomplished musician but had a real gift for writing catchy pop songs which meshed with his very alternative tastes (Sonic Youth, Beat Happening, Butthole Surfers, the Melvins, etc, etc) to produce a unique and compelling style. There was always a sardonic wit to his lyrics and voice, too- his sad end has led him to be pigeonholed as a writer of miserable songs. This is far from the truth; the toxic cocktail of heroin, mental illness and physical stomach pain that may have been undiagnosed Crohn’s that led to his demise does not define him as a person. He was often funny, witty and naughtily ironic as much as bitterly so- for every “Rape Me” there’s a “Very Ape”.

Just as importantly, though, it's produced by Steve Albini- no frills, no nonsense, just record the music as it sounds in the studio. This is how the band should always have sounded.

Batman: Pop Goes the Joker & Flop Goes the Joker

Pop Goes the Joker 

“Why, even a three year old could do better than that!"

Some Batman stories are very good, but only a rare few are sublime. One of those is "Hizzonner the Penguin/ Dizonner the Penguin" which skewers the art of politics. This story does the same for the art of, er, art, and is just as wonderful.

As the title implies, it's 1967, and the age of pop art- something which even reached the covers of Marvel comics (if I may mention them here!) of roughly this time. And even the opening is wonderful- the Joker ruins an exhibition of rather conservative paintings with random splodges of paint, only to be acclaimed as an artist. Even more deliciously, he proceeds to enter an art competition with "Pablo Pincus", "Jackson Potluck", Leonardo Da Vinski" and "Vincent Van Gauche", all of whom proceed to paint with feet, back and, most deliciously, a chimp. But the Joker wins with a blank, untouched canvas- the allusion to a certain fairytale of a scantily clad monarch is hardly subtle, but it's wonderfully done and I love everything about it.

Oh, the Joker has a plot to open an art school for millionaires (I love his comment on their work!) only to ransom them, leading to a knife cliffhanger for Robin, but that's just plot. Cesar Romero gets a real classic script here as the art world is skewered to perfection.


Flop Goes the Joker

“I don't know what it means. It must be very profound."

Yes, the cliffhanger resolution is perfunctory. But so is the convention itself. Much more interesting is the Joker's delightfully cynical buttering up of silly socialite Baby Jane so he can get in and steal various Old Masters from Gotham's art gallery under the pretence of swapping them with his own "masterpiece", a defaced and chopped up antique table. And the hole episode is full of amusing little touches, such as a gleeful Gordon and O'Hara hearing fight at the museum.

The coda with Joker robbing Wayne Manr is also a delight, with a defiant Alfred showing off his fencing skills and the omission of the names from the Batpole turning out to have been a deliberate little Chekhov's gun. And, of course, we end with Alfred's paintings, created to fool the Joker, becoming popular in exhibition themselves. Delicious, wonderful satire and one of the programme's real high points.

Batman: Black Widow Strikes Again & Caught in the Spider's Den

Black Widow Strikes Again

"Frank and I are both categorically against evil."

"Miss" Tallulah Bankhead (as she is credited) may have been at death's door in this, her final ever role as mind controlling bank robber the Black Widow but, with her sultry voice and considerable charisma, she hugely elevates what would otherwise have been an average couple of episodes in which Batman and Robin are perhaps a little too passive.

Her first appearance establishes her shtick, and the intrigue, as her plan is simply to mind control bank manager after bank manager to give her huge piles of cash- fortunately helping Batman to predict her next move by robbing them in alphabetical order. You'd get that in absolutely no other programme. And I love that the first bank manager is called "Mr Cash".

There's also an amusing, and very 1967 scene, in which Aunt Harriet decides to go "mod" and almost bought a miniskirt, leading Alfred to comment that "Carnaby Street has come to Wayne Manor, ma'am". This one story after Bruce is called "one of the hippies".

The cliffhanger, with silly plastic black widow spiders, is silly, predictable but I suppose inevitable..


Caught in the Spider's Den

"You sophisticated but evil woman!"

Escape by utility belt yet again, and then Black Widow, er, reverses the polarity to mind control Batman for the entire episode, both sidelining him and having Gordon and O'Hara suspect him of crime for a while. This is somewhat annoying and makes for a somewhat less entertaining second episode, but at least we get to laugh at how Black Widow's disguise as Robin is so perfect she's played by Burt Ward.

I also love how Black Wdow, in prison at the end, demands "the wine list", and seems to get it. She's a fine villain, and it's a shame we didn't get to see her in a better story.

Batman: King Tut's Coup & Batman's Waterloo

 King Tut's Coup

"Friends, Romans, Eyptians, lend me your ears. I come to bury Batman, not to praise him."

This episode has the beat opening set-up scene ever. Our mild-mannered Egyptology professor is quizzing two new students on their enthusiasm for the subject, suspecting them of being American football players looking for an easy course, when they are both hit on the head and begin with "all halo Tut"... and then our prof is hit on the head and says "The gang's all here." Perfection.

The story that follows isn't quite up with the very best, but it's marvellous fun, with n Egyptian maked ball giving us a bit of a face early on as Tut kidnaps wealthy heiress Lisa Carson, dating Brude Wayne,  as his bride, Cleopatra- and it's Lee Meriwether, in a different role. She's quite superb, much to the jealousy of that Janice Rand off of Star Trek. We even get an amusing window cameo from Suxy Knickerbocker, whoever she may be, calling Bruce Wayne "one of the hippies".

It's amusing how deliberately vague this programme is on Egyptian history, cheerfully making it up while never being less than accurate on Greek or Roman stuff, and we gloss over the fact that a pharaoh of the 13th century BC would see Cleo as a Greek interloper. But it's all hilarious, and even the cliffhanger is good.


Batman's Waterloo

"Man cannot live by crime fighting alone."

Yes, I know the cliffhanger is resolved in an absurd way- Batman holds his breath for an hour because he learned how to hold his breath from an Indian fakir. Just as eyebrow- raising is that it takes Tut the whole episode to heat the oil enough to boil Robin in it- and the boy wonder isn't in this much; behind the scenes stuff?

Interestingly, we get a random mention by the Commissioner of his young daughter Barbara. We get lots of plot over a ransom until our Caped Crusader arrives by Batbike to save the day. And Tut suddenly goes back to mild mannered prof again- I'd love it if it were to be revealed that the crafty professor was just putting it on.

We end with Bruce again dating Lisa until he invites her in for "milk and cookies" but he demurs because it's late, "almost 10.30". He explains he could never marry her but she continues plying him with cookies until he disappears behind the door for some, er, milk and cookies. Oo er.

The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)

"There is growing amongst you all an insolent ungodliness, which I will not tolerate!"

I was expecting a B movie here- after all, look at the title. Instead I find an artily directed film, perhaps a little too lowly paced, with a visually realised depiction of the late 17th century (dialogue about "King James III" in exile makes me put this after 1688, but the fashions put it not too long after) that evokes the 1970s BBC M.R. James stories. The effect is of a very well-directed film, with the pretty visuals made to look eerie by horror direction and overcast weather, This film is often lumped in with The Wicker Man as "folk horror". It isn't as good, but you can see the stylistic links.

Patrick Wymark is superb, outstandingly so, as the judge, and both Wendy Padbury and Simon Williams are very good indeed in the early part of the film as the threat emerges of the younger generation, creepily acted and shot, being involved in a cult which may be Satanic but may be pagan in a way which was popular in the early '70s, when pagan survivals in modern culture were perhaps exaggerated. And perhaps their disappearance part way through the film, with Michele Dotrice (pre- Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em typecasting, and bloody good) taking prominence as a Satanic disciple, is a flaw in the coherence of the script, But I don't see this as being as troubling as the horrible rape scene, filmed so as to show us the victim's point of view, which is a big part of why this film has to be seen as well made yet deliberately abrasive. A simultaneously assured and rough watch, fascinatingly flawed,

P.J. Harvey- White Chalk (2007)

This may not be my favourite album by P.J. Harvey but it is probably, objectively speaking, the best that I own. Haunting, sparse, meaningful; it grows with each listen.

I’m afraid I don’t tend to register the lyrics much for those albums I’ve discovered in my thirties and (early!) forties, such as this one- I understand the lyrics are quite meaningful in this album but I don’t really know. What I can say is that I’ve heard Polly sing like this before, and to such sparse use of instrumentation, but not over a whole album. Her voice sounds at once just like herself and completely different.

The cumulative effect is both breathless and breathtaking and the resulting collection of songs, as well as the overall soundscape, is a rather neglected gem of an album that doesn’t seem to be mentioned as often as it should be.

Batman: A Piece of the Action & Batman’s Satisfaction

A Piece of the Action

“Look busy- and honest!"

Sigh. It's been a good solid run of stories for a while. I suppose we were due a dud. I'll admit I know very little about the Green Hornet and Kato beyond what I've just read on Wikipedia- standard 1930s pulp protagonists, it seems, and most pertinently appearing on a contemporary TV series on the same channel- but not even Bruce Lee can save this dross, not even getting any decent fight scenes. Roger C. Carmel is splendid as the villainous Colonel Gumm, but the character he plays is rubbish. And what's this silly plot about stamp collecting? This is literally the first Batman episode I've struggled to follow. poor storytelling, then, and very little to be amused by.

Even the cliffhanger is absurd and rubbish, with the Duo not even under any serious threat. Dire.


Batman’s Satisfaction

“It's sure good you brought that empty alphabet soup Bat-container!"

Things don't improve in the second episode: the best thing in this is the window cameo by Edward G. Robinson. Even the silly secret identity farce at the end, admittedly quite funny, isn't enough to amuse me after sitting through this aimless, plotless dross with its two "visiting heroes" acting with a touch of plywood and poor Roger C. Carmel not even getting "special guest villain status.

We even get an odd sequence where Aunt Harriet's hairdryer stops the Batcomputer working and Robin has to encourage Batman not to give up. This is truly awful.Can we not have any more rubbish cliffhangers ever again please?

Batman: Catwoman Goes to College & Batman Displays His Knowledge

Catwoman Goes to College

"I just heard there's to be a spontaneous demonstration in Chime Square tonight."

Terrible news: this is Julie Newmar's final appearance as Catwoman. This is, of course, devastating news. She is at once superb, sexy and a real mistress of comic timing- and has real, electric chemistry with Adam West. She will be missed.

This is a very 1967 episode, concerned with the new (for then) phenomenon of student protests, although of course there's certainly no political context here, no civil rights or Vietnam. Instead there's Catwoman who, although apparently dead, is being rather generously paroled from prison, and enrolling at uni to do, appropriately enough, criminology. Sadly, all the students- many of them suspiciously old- wear ridiculous uni garb.

It's an odd beginning- a Batan statue is stolen in a suspected student prank- but the plot matters not, here; quite rightly, we have set pieces designed to give Julie a fitting swansong, plus an amusing sequence in which "Captain Courageous", a cop transferred from California, arrests the framed Batman.

It's amusing to see the duo captured again by Catoman's feminine wiles, and a suitably acidic cliffhanger...




Batman Displays His Knowledge

"The way we get into these scrapes, and out of them- it's almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations."

The above line, from the Boy Wonder after the cliffhanger resolution, does splendid violence to the fourth wall. Not only is the author not dead as M. Barthes insists, he is God.

I note the students are spoken of only as "misguided" and potentially jeopardising their futures by protesting- there's no suggestion that democracies need a right to protest, not any consideration that the morals may depend on the cause. But this is prime time network television, and an episode where a French fence turns out to also be a fencer, because of course. Rhere's also the best farcical secret identity scene yet as Alfred types out slow responses from "Bruse Wayne" to the Commissioner.

But we end with the most sexually charged scene between Catwman and Batman yet, and that's saying something. Julie is amazing.

Goodbye, Julie. You're the best Catwoman ever and always will be. I'll miss you.

The Pixies- Doolittle (1989)

This is undoubtedly the most obvious Pixies album to blog, but it was a massive part of the soundtrack to my uni years when I played it incessantly and, let us be honest, while the other Pixies albums are awesome they can’t possibly match this album for its sheer number of killed tracks, with that loud-quiet-loud dynamism so famously nicked by Nirvana, the gloriously night sense lyrics and the alternating gender vocals.

It’s not just the obvious songs, though- “Debaser”; “Here Comes Your Man”; “Gouge Away” and “Monkey Gone to Heaven”, which Mrs Llamastrangler may or may not have caught me singing along to; the whole damn thirty-nine minutes consists of killer tracks that grab you and don’t let go. Plus there’s something about the production and the wild yet structured sound that is compellingly addictive. A truly awesome album.

Also, any song about “Un Chien Andalou” has to be worshipped.

David Bowie- Low (1977)

This is an interesting David Bowie album to find myself reviewing. Obviously I own and know loads, from all over his career but with a bias towards the ‘70s, probably just like you. But it’s interesting to listen to this album, from the almost cliched “Berlin period” where he and Iggy Pop (possibly the coolest couple of mates who ever existed) hung out, got wasted and made unbelievably good and important music.

We know this album- it’s quite well known and has “Sound and Vision” on it. So we forget how revolutionary it was of Bowie to record an album which, to be straightforwardly honest, sounds much closer to Brian Eno’s excellent solo stuff (very much in the zeitgeist) than anything he’d done before. We also forget that Bowie, k own as a singer and not more than an incidental instrumentalist, having several tracks on here that are instrumental.

And yet it sounds like Bowie. And like its time and place. He sort of does that. I assume you know this album but, if you don’t, kindly remedy that immediately. That is all.

Batman: The Joker's Last Laugh & The Joker's Epitaph

The Joker's Last Laugh

 "We're dealing with a perfectly normal robot."

You know what? I've never exactly dissed Cesar Romero's Joker, but for me this version of the character is no Riddler, Catwoman or Penguin, but with this splendidly witty two parter penned by the always superb Lorenzo Semple Jr I'm certainly warming to him. After all, at this point Batman hadn't been a dark character since his long forgotten earlier months, and the tone of this TV series is quite faithful to the comics as they were in 1967 and had been for years. I ought to remember that the same applies to the Joker, at this point a crook, not a psychopath.

And I'm certainly enjoying his two parters more and more- particularly when, as here, the character is allowed to be genuinely witty. And the script is hilarious- the Joker manages, onscreen, to "slip" a massive recording antenna into the Commissioner's trousers. Plenty of humour is wrung out of the science fiction robots- rumbled because they fail to laugh at a crap joke. The dialogue sings.The plot is just leisurely set piece after leisurely set piece while the script winks at us, but I for one have no problem with that. And Adam West is a comic genius yet again as a "desperate" Bruce Wayne.



The Joker's Epitaph

"Alert your anti-lunatic squad!"

Another twenty-five minutes of hilarious fun here as the cliffhanger is averted by Alfred pretending again to be Batman- and climbing up the side of a building with a Bat-rope. And then we have Joker, installed as deputy chairman of the Gotham National Bank for plot reasons, trying to blackmail Bruce Wayne in amusing schemes. But absolutely nothing is funnier than Chief O'Hara seizing a supposedly insane Bruce Wayne with his "anti-lunatic squad". I'm sure mental health facilities in '60s Gotham City were perfectly fine. Especially with this comedy German quack.

This is a perfectly formed pair of episodes that have given Cesar Romero something cool to do. I'm actually hoping to see the character again.

The Man in the White Suit (1951)

“Tea break! We had to fight for it!"

This is, obviously, an extraordinary film on all sorts of levels; I'm hardly going to do other than praise this, one of the finest Ealing comedies. But its greatness lies not in its humour- after all, this is wry, ironic humour, not exactly a laugh a minute. No; this is a film which nicely skewers much of what's been wrong with this country since well before the War.

The concept is a brilliant one- Sdney, played with the usual brilliance by Alec Guinness, invents an indestructible and dirt repelling fibre which will free mankind from drudgery (according to Daphne, played with charm and splendidly cut glass vowels by Joan Greenwood), as well as destroy much of the industry and ruin both workers and management. What's particularly clever, of course, is that both viewpoints are correct: just not necessarily in that order. This is progress and, as ever, the omelette will come. It's just that the breaking of eggs will not be pleasant for many. It was this way with the Industrial Revolution, and with various smaller waves of progress ever since. These are big themes for an Ealing comedy, but handled with wit and verve in a brilliantly structured film.

Michael Gough has a nice little role, too, and Ernest Thesiger steals the show with his doddery campness as the wise Sir John. There are lots of nice little details, not least the wonderful tubes and bubbling of a very proper chemisty experiment. And, although I wouldn't know, the film seems to capture very well the reality of being an industrial chemist. Yet it also shows us a vanished world- one of strong trade unions and harmonious industrial relations, and of thriving Lancashire textile mills.

Yet it also scolds us as a nation, reminding us that our businesses are far too short termist, too focused on this year's dividends instead of the long term, and that this blinds us to shocks from foreign competition- and prevents us from reacting as we should to things like climate change. I think that, as much as musings over the immediate human price of progress, is the message of this film.

Son of Godzilla (1967)

“The smell of a story attracts me...”

Another Godzilla film, I thought, thinking I knew what to expect. Imagine my surprise. No Godzilla destroying Tokyo; indeed no Tokyo at all, as the entire film takes place on a fictional island on the South Pacific. None of the co-star monsters like Mothra or King Gidorah. Just some big preying martises, a massive spider, Godzilla, and... a cute baby Godzilla who looks bizarrely as though he's been animated by Jim Henson.

And yet... silly though it is, with most of the baby Godzilla sequences being accompanied by music to inform us that this is supposed to be comedy... it somehow works. It certainly starts well, with an intrepid reporter, and our POV character as so often before, stubbornly parachuting on to the island to get a story, and discovering sci-fi weather control experiments to solve world hunger by making "waste areas" fertile. I'm sure that won't harm the ecosystem in any way whatsoever.

We get the usual quotient of human drama, a mysterious girl, an unnerving disease with a high fever (interesting whenever one comes across such themes when quarantining) and an egg, almost pecked to death bu praying manises. But none of that is the real point of the film. No, that's to see Godzilla as we've never seen him before, looking after his Muppet Baby of a son, teaching him to roar, to emit ray beams and to fight giant spiders. And we end with Godzillas Senior and Junior embracing in the face of an unnatural cold, both surviving.

This is not your usual Godzilla film. It's utterly mad. But it's actually refreshing to see something a little bit different, and the whole thing is just absurd enough to work. I'm not sure I should have enjoyed this, but I did.

Batman: Batman’s Anniversary & A Riddling Controversy

Batman’s Anniversary 

“That enigmatic egotist, back to plague our fair city?"

So, very late in the second season, with an ongoing impasse concerning the availability of Frank Gorshin, the Riddler- unquestionably the premier villain of the first season but not seen since the movie, and the Puzzler was rubbish- is back. But Gorshin, alas, is not- instead, as a substitute, we have the portly and moustachioed figure of John Astin, well known at the time as Gomez Addams. He does his best, and you can't fault the man. He actually is quite good. But you simply can't replace Frank Gorshin. It's a poisoned chalice, and he falls inevitable short.

Which is a pity. The Riddler is written absolutely no differently, and you can imagine Gorshin saying every line- with his signature hint of menace behind the playful wit. And, moreover, the script is magnificent, perhaps the finest to feature the character. There's something very Alanis Morissette ironic about that.

The anniversary stuff gives us a fun and silly beginning, the puzzles are solidly thought out, and the Riddler has a clear aim throughout- to steal $3 million so he can buy a MacGuffin with which he can ransom the entire city. The obligatory fight takes place, superbly, in a flooded bank vault with the Caped Crusaders wearing ventilators, and the slow-motion scrap gets suitably aquatic onomatopoeic words. And the trap at the end comes as a genuinely surprising twist.


A Riddling Controversy

"Let go of me, you blue footed baboon!"

Quicksand won't make you drown, whatever TV and cinema may say. You won't sink further than your waist, and it's possible to escape by slowly moving to a lying down position, although if you can't do that you're trapped and will eventually die of dehydration without help. But you're not really in much danger if your predicament occurs in the streets of a busy street and not, say, a deserted swamp.

Still, those bat rockets are cool. And so is this episode, complete with its Che Guevara lookalike in a puzzle cage and MacGuffin that can theoretically be defeated by, er, switching off the plug. The conclusion is epic and dramatic, so much so that the stock footage of the Bat-copter is wheeled out yet again.

I enjoyed this superbly crafted two parter, a lot. And John Astin is good, and unfortunate in following someone who couldn't possibly have been topped. Give it a chance, and you'll find it's something really rather special.

Sonic Youth- Daydream Nation (1988)

I love Sonic Youth. I love them a lot. They're one of my absolute, core, comfort bands. To me they evoke my teens and all sort of books I read back in the '90s (William S. Burroughs, Douglas Copeland); the way I dressed back then with my lumberjack shirts and Doc Martens (the hair hasn’t changed); trying to get served in pubs.

This is largely seen, probably correctly, as their best album. I have to agree. Curiously, though, it carries none of the affection or memories for me as an “Evol”, a “Sister” or a “Goo”, Sonic Youth albums from a similar period.

Why? Well, this is more of a soundscape album than the varied collections of songs I’m used to on their other albums, it’s true- not exactly a concept album but a load of long songs over four sides. It’s the closest they ever came to prog in their imperious period. And yet a suspect it’s simply because I happened to hear this album later in life. Which is good; there was still something new from peak period Sonic Youth for me to enjoy as I approached my forties

I’d advise my younger readers, however, not to wait so bloody long!

Batman: Penguin Is a Girl's Best Friend / Penguin Sets a Trend / Penguin’s Disastrous End

Penguin Is a Girl's Best Friend

“That's it! Skewer the scrofulous scullion!"

I wasn't enormously fond of the previous three parter a few episodes ago, so I was somewhat apprehensive about this one. I needn't have worried: a sparkling script and fantastic chemistry between Burgess Meredith and Carolyn Jones- not to discount some superb comic acting from Adam West itself- elevates this (or at least the two episodes I've seen as I blog the first two episodes on Tuesday evening) to one of the series' true highlights.

The cheeky opening gives us an unusual premise- the Dynamic Duo are contracted as actors for Penguin's film which is, of course, as his exposition to the wonderful Marsha shows, a front. It is, of course, gloriously silly that the Caped Crusaders should appear in their usual costumes in a Roman epic, but that's part of the fun. And yes, I know I criticised the last three parter for treating the Penguin as second fiddle to the Joker, and this time Marsha is playing no less of a supplementary string instrument to the now promoted Penguin. But this time it seems to matter less- Marsha may not be the criminal mastermind here, but she gets to be archly cool and steal scenes. Her wonderful witch of a mother is back too, and the to ladies are a real comic joy in their scenes together. I love Mortimer. He's now one of my favourite Muppets.

We end with a superbly classical cliffhanger wit Batman and Robin in a catapult, about to be splatted halfway across Gotham. This is exactly what Batman should be.




Penguin Sets a Trend

“Call the cavalry!"

"We haven't had any cavalry since 1910..."

This is one of the most fun cliffhanger resolutions ever- Batman calculated exactly where Robin and he are set to splat and sends the Batmobile there with a big net by remote control- stopping for some children crossing the road, naturally.

Even more fun is Batman playing up to the cameras about his love of the limelight so Penguin will re-hire him- I really can't emphasise enough what a splendid comic actor Batman is. He's so very multifaceted, and the part of Batman calls for superb talent as a straight man- and being a good straight man is hard.

And yes, I know Marsha and Old Hilda are only in one scene where they, er, look for some old toads. But they completely steal said scene, and the whole episode is such enormous fun that I can't really make myself resent this blatant neglect of the guest villain. Not where we have a comedy general played by Alan "voice of Fred Flintstone" Reed and a Keystone Kops US Army being manipulated like fools by the Penguin? These days it would be unthinkable for a mainstream American TV drama to be so irreverent about its armed forces. Perhaps, in this sense, it is a little less free.

And the cliffhanger- the Capred Crusaders, wearing clunky suits of armour, about to be crushed as scrap metal, promises to be no less enjoyable than the last one...


Penguin’s Disastrous End

“Do you know how much vitamin B there is in the average toad?"

This episode is completely and utterly bonkers. I love it.

Oh, the cliffhanger resolution is the usual type of silly- saved by the utility belts again- but we then find out that Marsha and Aunt Hilda are back, with their old toads(!), all poised to help Penguin get into a bank vault by means of love potion and the dance of the seven veils. Yes, really. And if that sn't enough we get Penguin whispering quietly to his "finks"- through a loudspeaker.

And then we get the long days with Penguin, Marsha and co seemingly holed up in the bank vault with no means of escape- until the use the plans from last episode to make a World War Two tank. Out of, er, solid gold. Yes, really. Fortunately it's Batzooka to the rescue, but this is the most delightfully random and absurd scheme ever concocted. I love everything about it.

This three parter has been an absolute joy. So have Marsha and Aunt Hilda whom we will, sadly, not be seeing again.

The Replacements- Let It Be (1984)

No, not the Beatles album, but the one by Paul Westerberg's splendid Minneapolis combo, very much a cult band here in Blighty but, quite rightly, a much bigger deal across the pond. This is their finest album, a deeply emotional scream of angst that anticipates the following decade and seems to rebel against what we (and contemporaries) imagine the '80s to be.

It's a glorious collection of songs. "Androgynous" may be very much ahead of its time in its treatment of what no one in 1984 would have referred to as non-binary gender identities, but it's also a cracking tune. "Black Diamond", a Kiss cover from left field, is exactly what a good cover ought to be: a total re-imagining of the original to produce an utterly different mood from the same song. And then, of course, we have the magnificent and anthemic "Unsatisfied", a song that still gets my pulses racing at the age of forty-two. The song may never appear on any of those "Alternative Eighties" compilation, but it deserves to stand for the decade.

A truly magnificent achievement, sadly nowhere near as well known in this country as it should be.

Batman: That Darn Catwoman & Scat, Darn Catwoman

That Darn Catwoman

"Chief O'Hara, had you ever seen this Titian-haired wench before?"

Every single episode we've had which featured both Julie Newmar as Catwoman and Stanley Ralph Ross as scriptwriter- a marriage made in Heaven- has been utterly terrific thus far. But with this two parter Batman hits heights it seldom reaches. I'm not one of those who likes to make lists f putative favourite episodes but, if I were, this two-parter would be very much in contention.

Curious, then, that this story is far from following the standard pattern. Not only is Catwoman’s accomplice Pussycat played by contemporary singer Lesley Gore, who even gets to perform pretty much two whole songs, crudely crowbarred in over both episodes, and deliberately so, but Robin is brainwashed in the very first scene and spends almost the whole story behaving like a juvenile delinquent from central casting. It’s not hard to see fear of the younger generation here, very prevalent in 1967, as previously goodie-goodie adolescents would suddenly start growing their hair, taking drugs, dropping out or, worse, questioning things like Jim Crow or the Vietnam War, which was really hitting up by this point. We therefore have a gloriously silly brace of episodes which nevertheless address some very real anxieties.

All this plus some truly excellent silly dialogue throughout the episode gives us something very special. So what if Catwoman is suddenly appearing a lot? At this point she’s the best name in Batman’s rogues gallery. It’s fun seeing a bridge to “New Guernsey” or the blatantly signposted Catlair.  


Scat, Darn Catwoman

"One should always keep abreast of foreign tongues, Robin."

Even the cliffhanger is more interesting than usual- Batman must surrender or die, and seemingly surrenders. But I love how we’re allowed to see Batman taking a Batpill on a hilarious pretext shortly before he’s drugged- at no point are we expected to actually believe he’s under Catwoman’s spell; that’s part of the fun. And Adam West’s performance is at once fun, extraordinary and opens the door for some delightfully tense flirting.

Not that Burt Ward isn’t being excellent, of course, although Robin is soon captured and turned. And the final car chase and chase on foot between Catwoman and Batman is at once exciting and believably romantic, yet with tongue never being removed from cheek. And her apparent death at the end is both satisfyingly inconclusive (she will be back) and reassuring in that this is one car who should never be caged. Absolutely wonderful stuff.

Island of Terror (1966)

“Some peculiar goings-on going on on this island...”

This is a surprisingly good little film, an average script elevated into something superior by the presence of Peter Cushing and the excellent direction of Terence Fisher, who turns what could have been a fairly by-the-numbest science fiction B movie with a science experiment gone wrong as the baddie into something strangely Cthulhuesque.

The whole thing feels curiously like a period Doctor Who story, with its “base under siege” plot and its slightly rubbish monsters- very rubber little bags with silly rubber tentacles- which nonetheless manage to somehow made to be an effective threat through good direction, music, sound effects and effective acting- not least from Edward Judd and the never less than convincing Cushing. Even the radiation suits looking like condoms can’t ruin this film, nor can the fact that the plot resolution consists of... making cows radioactive. And none of the farmers objecting.

I enjoyed this a lot- a science fiction film, strictly speaking a B movie, but that doesn’t so much feel like one as it has the visual grammar, story beats, structure and feel of a horror film. Highly recommended.

The Kinks- Something Else (1967)

The Kinks are a much-loved but, in one important way, much-misunderstood band. Like Queen, with whom they share this perception problem, they have a string of big hits which leads to them being seen in popular perception as a singles band, largely experienced via Greatest Hits compilations.

And this gives a very skewed perception of a band which should be experienced, give or take the odd big standalone single, in album form: their albums are invariably strong and coherent collections of songs, and the deep cuts are compellingly interesting both musically and lyrically.

This is my favourite album of theirs. It isn't a concept album or anything clever, and it's hardly the only Kinks album to feature songs based on social observation. For a Kinks album, it's fairly bog standard in what it is. But the songs are wonderful from "Two Sisters" to "Situarion Vacant", concluding with "Waterloo Sunset". I don't even care that the rubbish but puzzlingly popular "Death of a Clown" is in here; this is quite simply a superb selection of songs.

The Wasp Woman (1959)

"Oh, women!"

This Roger Corman film is, I admit, a bit of a cheat. The picture you see opposite is in no way represented in the film, which shows no women turning into anything resembling wasps until the last ten minutes, and that just brief shots of fairly crap prosthetics, with most of the exciting stuff happening off screen.

And yet... this is actually a pretty impressive B movie, if admittedly most certainly a B movie, with an actual subtext on the subtext of hubris. Even the inevitable dodgy sexual politics, definitely present, are blunted by the fact that Janice, the protagonist, is the boss.

In fact, although the characters are admittedly all ciphers, and the closest thing to a hero is a fairly flat pipe smoking bloke, you can identify with both Janice and the obligatory mad scientist Zinthrop (played by an actor born in 1886 in the Russian Empre of Alexander III, incredibly), in their hubris of wanting both youth and scientific fame respectively. Importantly, the wasp injections do in fact work in rejuvenating Janice until they are taken too far. The film’s faults lie in its budget only; the script is sound and the concept actually quite strong, as one may expect from Corman. Alas, though, there’s very little wasp-related spectacle here.

Gamera: The Giant Monster (1965)

“Gamera’s a good turtle!”

I’ve seen a few Godzilla films by now. so here’s a look at the first film in what for a time was a rival franchise. First impressions are that it’s, well, very silly indeed.

I mean that in the sense, in fact, of being far sillier than the Godzilla and related films. We have a giant turtle in the Arctic, revived by an atomic bomb from a mysterious plane, which can fly and looks like a UFO while doing so. We have earlier scenes featuring American airmen which contain possibly the worst acting in recorded history. We have a turtle obsessed kid who is upset at the very thought that this giant turtle might do bad things like, destroy Tokyo.

Speaking of which, the effects are very good, quite on a par with the other franchise, and the set pieces of Gamera destroying Tokyo are actually very good indeed. It’s nice to see the early appearance of the main monster, too, and just how much screen time it gets. Also good is that the film doesn’t attempt to outstay its welcome, and the very small amount of drama between the human characters is kept to a necessary minimum. More importantly, though, Gamera himself is well designed and works as a monster. Overall, while it looks as good, this is not so assured a production as its rival, but it’s a fun little monster film that’s just the right kind of silly.

Batman: The Zodiac Crimes / The Joker's Hard Times / The Penguin Declines

The Zodiac Crimes

"The pot's being put on the fire right now and Bamtan's in it!"

So it's our first three part story, so much so that, in these insanely busy days working from home while parenting a five year old, I'm having to blog it over two nights. It's also our first televised team-up between the Joker and the Penguin- although (and I say this before seeing the third episode) the Penguin very much seems to play second fiddle, being delivered in a box to the Joker's lair and working with the Joker's henchmen on the Joker's schemes. Whatever he says about insisting on a 50-/50 split, he's a glorified underling here- and seemingly defeted quickly as we get on with the Joker's scheme.

I'll admit that, although I like him well enough, I wouldn't put Cesar Romero's Joker in the top tier of baddies here- he's no Riddler, Catwoman or indeed Penguin. But his antics here, goading our heroes throughout, are entertaining enough. The zodiac conceit may be a quick and easy hook for a plot, but it works. And I like the orrery cliffhanger with the meteorite. But not as much as I like Robin's groovy dancing.


The Joker's Hard Times

"Holy mashed potatoes!"

No Penguin in this episode? Never mind; the Joker is entertaining enough, especially in the fun he has with the police car radio. For our first ever "middle" episode it zips along, even though much time is taken up with Venus as the latest in a long line of regretful criminal sidekicks with a crush on Batman.

Joker is entertaining again, particularly when stealing an extremely rare fish with a fisherman's net while throwing fish and puns at the Caped Crusaders. I'm warming more to this Joker. And the cliffhanger is gloriously silly- giant clams certainly don't eat people, but this one does!

Incidentally, there's a character called "Basil" but pronounced as we Brits would say it- do they only pronounce the herb "bay-sil"?



The Penguin Declines

"Women of America, beware! Don Juan Penguin is on the loose!"

It's another perfunctory cliffhanger resolution and on to the Joker's final two crimes... except things are running out of steam a bit. The Penguin is back, sprung from the hoosegow, but he's just as much laying second fiddle as he was in the first episode.And the Joker's two remaining crimes consist of getting Batman and... interfering with Gotham City's water supply. Yes, just as he tried last time- even the script acknowledges this. Yes, it's amusing that this time he's turned the water supply into strawberry jam, cue Chief O'Hara's comedy attempy at a shower, but can we not have a different idea?

At least we get some stock footage of the Batcopter for the first time in a while, I suppose. And the Penguin trying to be seductive is amusing and just the right side of creepy. Then it's all solved by chemistry and double double crossing the two baddies. But the whole thing, despite its two big name villains, feels very by-the-numbers.

Soundgarden- BadMotorFinger (1991)

I first discovered Soundgarden a couple of years after this album was released, so the first of their stuff I heard as a seventeen year old (on a coach on route from here in sunny Leicestershire on a school ski trip to Austria in December 1994, via Sony Walkman) was Superunknown- and that is considered to be their signature album. But BadMotorFinger, admittedly a favourite of mine a little later on, is their best.

Not that their three subsequent albums were not excellent and groundbreaking, of course; nor that the much missed Cris Cornell didn't go on to achieve great things or to improve his voice in middle age- if not for his horrible death I'm sure he'd have further greatness ahead of him.

But this album is indisputably a masterpiece. "Rusty Cage" and "Jesus Christ Pose" are the big singles we're supposed to prefer, and I like them well enough, but the overall standard is extraordinarily good with complex song structures and no filler- "Outshined" and "Room a Thousand Years Wide" perhaps being my favourites. It's an album that rewards listen after listen, and one of the greatest of all time.

Alice in Chains- Dirt (1992)

If you've only heard one Alice in Chains album, it's probably this one. There's more to them than Dirt, of course, and there's more to them than their original incarnation- Billy DuVall is a worthy successor to Layne Staley, and the band were superb when I saw them in 2009- but this, unmistakeably, is their most well-known album.

It's a collection of great songs, of course, headed by "Rooster" and the incredible "Would?", fully showcasing both Jerry Cantrell's superb songwriting and the vocal power of the late and extremely tragic Layne Staley. It's distrubing how we all, back in the early '90s, saw Layne's struggles with heroin- the overwhelming subject of this album- as a tragic but expected part of the rock 'n' roll lifestyle rather than as a terrible tragedy which was waiting to happen- and, of course, in 2002, eventually did.

It's also weird to think of this as a "grunge" album- yes, the band were unmistakably part of the Seattle "scene" and played in umpteen side projects with various other well known "grunge" musicians- yet this album, while having a fuzzy guitar sound and no hair metal pretentiousness, is sufficiently heavy that we can't unambiguously deny that it's a metal album. But who cares about these silly categories? Dirt is a great collection of songs with a great sound and a great singer.

Batman: The Contaminated Cowl & The Mad Hatter Runs Afoul

The Contaminated Cowl

"He'd stop at nothing to add that cowl to his horrific horde of headpieces."

So, after a ridiculously busy 1966, Batman gives us its opening two parter of 1967, a momentous year for many reasons, but while a new year can bring change it's a relief hat, after a variable few episodes we have some solidity. This two parter may not be up there with the very best, but it's a good 'un, and it's a real joy to see David Wayne back, and if anything even better, in the second and sadly final appearance of the Mad Hatter.

After a splendid opening scenes where the Mad Hatter gets some cool lines as he steals 70 hat boxes, we get another laugh about Warden Crichton's very progressive penal policies as we hear how the aforementioned Jervis Tetch made his escape. But this time the focus is very much on Batman's cowl, after which the Mad Hatter will conclude his splendid collection of headgear (we see a few interesting and amusing exhibits, of course) and instead, er, use hats to steal other things.

There's a lot of nonsense about radioactivity, and a silly radioactive cliffhanger, but frankly who cares. We get Batman with a pink cowl(!) and a villain who, unlike last week, gets plenty of chances to be cool and show off. I'm enjoying this.


The Mad Hatter Runs Afoul

"Jervis, you sound like the Joker, the Puzzler or even the Riddler."

"Those phonies?"

It's hilarious how the fake deaths of the Dynamic Duo cause such intense and international mourning, with appropriate stock footage and just the right amount of bathos. World leaders and crowds show their respects, while Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara cry on one another's shoulders. The cliffhanger resolution is, of course, as silly as the very atomic age cliffhanger (old hat by 1967, pun intended?) itself, but very much played as such.

The faking of the Duos' death is played for its full amusing potential before the final confrontation with a desperate Tetch, his hat having blown off in the wind. There is perhaps not as much sense of threat this episode as there could have been, but it would be churlish not to admit how much fun this two parter has been. David Wayne and the Mad Hatter will both be missed.

Batman: The Sandman Cometh & The Catwoman Goeth

The Sandman Cometh

"Sweet dreams, Sandman."

It's incredible to think but, more than halfway through the second season and, indeed, more than halfway through overall, everything up to and including this story, broadcast on 28th and 29th December in the USA, was first screened in 1966, just one calendar year- and yet sixty-eight episodes and a movie were crammed into that time, which is extraordinary.

Also notable is that the wonderful Julie Newmar is back, probably by now having appeared enough times that she can finally be considered as one of the perennial returning villains. This is a very good thing, as Julie Newmar is sexy and awesome. Also awesome is the excellent Michael Rennie as promising new villain Sandman. And yet...

In teaming the two villains up- including a new villain who needs room to breathe- the result is that we feel short-changed with both baddies, neither of whom gets enough screen time. It's also obvious that Catwoman was crowbarred into an exiting Sandman script at a late stage, not a good thing from any perspective.

A shame, as the underlying story is solid, and this is far from a bad episode, just an overcrowded one. I love the character of J. Paul Spaghetti, but all Catwoman actually dos here is lie on a mattress while Sandman drives a plot clearly themed around him. What she does, unfortunately, with Julie Newmar being amazing, is completely ruin this promising new baddie.


The Catwoman Goeth

"Where's Robin?"

"Who...?"

This episode is better, with Robin in Catwoman's cramped looking maze and the hilarious sight of a run down factory being called "Run Down Factory"- and Batman getting into near-trouble for traffic violations. There's a rather perfunctory cliffhanger escape, but that's nothing new. I love the description of J. Pauline Spaghetti's previous husbands and their absurd deaths. We even get a by-now rare outing for the Batboat.

And yet we still have the same problem- Catwoman ruining what should be Sandman's story by outshining him. Yet again there's some delicious Batman/Catwoman flirting, and Alfred hilariously giving Batman a lift on his silly "Alf-cycle". Behind the ill-advised inclusion of Catwoman there's a decent couple of episodes here, but alas that's not what reaches the screen.

The House That Dripped Blood (1971)

"The one with Be;a Lugosi, of course. Not this new Fellow.

Time for another of Amicus' splendid portmanteau films, I think, and a haunted house theme can't go wrong. Indeed it doesn't and, while this is perhaps not up there with the finest of Amicus' stuff, it is nevertheless a highly enjoyable film with a magnificent cast of British character actors.

A framing device having been devised with an inspector investigating the bizarre disappearance of the house's latest tenant, we jump into the first segment, and perhaps the best, as Denholm Elliott excels as a horror seemingly becoming obsessed with his latest murderous creation, seeing him anywhere. The twist is clever, and the mood effective.

We then have Peter Cushing and the ever-affable Joss Ackland in a less effective segment about a creepy waxworks, elevated by the extraordinary haunted performance of the recently bereaved Cushing. But what follows, with Nyree Dawn Porter and the great Christopher Lee, is a highly effective example of the trope of the creepily evil child.

The final segment stars Jon Pertwee, showing a delightful disinclination to vary the performance he was giving each week at the time in Doctor Who, but is enjoyably charismatic as the old school horror star who buys a cursed vampire cloak from the truly awesome Geoffrey Bayldon. Ingrid Pitt as an actual vampire just adds to the fun.

Nom not all the segments are equally good. But, like all of its ilk, this Amicus portmanteau horror is massively fun to watch.

Pantera- Vulgar Display of Power (1992)

When I first heard this album it was my first exposure to the really heavy stuff. At that time it just sounded like a relentless wall of heaviness. Soon after, of course, I became accustomed to the heavy stuff and came to appreciate the musicianship.

That’s not to say we can’t have a laugh at Pantera’s silly ‘80s existence, or that we can’t acknowledge that Phil Anselmo has been forgiven a few too many racist comments. But nevertheless this is the one Pantera record that is indispensable, although there three others that are rather good.

This album may be the second of their seriously heavy 90s incarnation, but it’s the first to have eliminated all trace of what they were before, with impressive guitars from the late Dimebag Darrell but none of the little guitar hints of their previous existence. For a heavy band Pantera, often called “groove metal”, do indeed have a groove to their sound not usually heard in most mainstream seriously heavy bands.

Most importantly, this album is full of killed songs like “Walk” and “This Love”. And this album evokes good times when the seriously heavy stuff was popular.

Horror Hospital (1973)

"There's no need to get so uptight about this. I'm not going to rape you."

I was expecting this to be a cheesy British horror film typical of the horror films of its era. I was wrong. It's a serious, genuinely creepy and extremely well directed work of body horror and with a heavy subtext of a generational clash between the young baby boomer generation and its jealous elders who want to get all that free love by any means necessary.

Michael Gough absolutely shines as the villainous lead, pretty much the equal of a Lee or a Cushing. It's good to see Skip Martin, although it's sad how his dwarf character is fatally bullied even by the "heroes".

I'm not saying this is up there with the best horrors, of course, but it's effectively shot, from the opening set piece of the fleeing, bloodied couple being decapitated by the blade in the car to the operation on Judy, shot from above. And the visceral horror of Dr Storm lobotomising his young victims (sex slaves?) is effectively disturbing. Incongruously there's a glam rock band at the start which is actually not bad, and even more incongruously there's Dennis Price as a camp blackmailer who meets the inevitable gruesome death that being gay in a film tended to lead to back in the early '70s.

Watching it now, in our very homebody 2020, it's also an unexpectedly charming period piece for the days of train carriage compartments, bands being called "groups" and gratuitous sex. The main character Jason may be a bit of a lecherous arse, but this film is much better than you'd expect, and well worth seeing.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 2- The Child

“I’m a Mandalorian. Weapons are part of my religion”

A short second episode follows the explosive first one and, well, if we’re talking pure plot, it’s entirely filler. But that’s not the point, of course; this is episodic telly, not cinema, and the advantage of that is that stories get a chance to be a bit picaresque, to breathe, to let the characters get a bit of development without rushing towards the resolution of the plot. One could almost say that good storytelling is like good sex. Ahem.

Anyway, this episode is essentially thirty-one minutes of the Mandalorian being delayed from leaving Tattoine  with his baby Yoda quarry because some Jawa have nicked his ship. That's it. But so much fascinating stuff happens, not least of which is that the first ten or so minutes are free as the camera lingers on Mandy and baby Yoda in what I, as a geek, have to refer to as Tenser's Floating Crib (did I think of that, Dave, or did you once use the phrase in passing?) as they walk for a bit and discover the theft of said ship as Mandy does a load of impressive Indiana Jones stuff trying manfully to besiege the Jawas' big tracked vehicle thingy. Through all of this, the camera shows little Yoda watching silently and thinking its little baby thoughts. Film critics speak of the male gaze; this episode has a lot of the baby Yoda gaze.

The only other character is Mandy's mate from last episode, played by Nick Nolte under a lot of makeup for someone so famous. The subtitles tell me that he's an Ugnaught, which is a cool detail, and the two part on friendly and honourable terms.

The main bit of coolness, though, is of course where baby Yoda shows the Force is strong with him by raising his cute little hand and levitating the rhino thing. This is several layers of cool. Two episodes in and I'm enjoying this very much.

Batman: The Puzzles Are Coming & The Duo Is Slumming

The Puzzles Are Coming

"Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens!"

One thing that's been very noticeable this second season has been the absence of Frank Gorshin's magnificent Riddler, the best and most frequent villain during the first season and indeed the standout baddie from the movie. I understand this was because  of a behind-the-scenes dispute but, whatever, it's been unfortunate, and no story illustrates that as much as this one.

I don't blame Maurice Evans; his performance as the Puzzler reflects the character as written- a cut-price Riddler (although one known to the police), with ridiculously random obsession with aviation and Shakespeare. He has nothing like the charisma or menacing air of Gorshin's Riddler, but it's difficult to be either when one's dialogue consists mainly of context-free Shakespeare quotes.

It's not just the villain that' rubbish, either- the story plods. And not even the joke of a game of monopoly with billionaire Atremus Knab, owner of several monopolies, can save it. After a fairly traditional opening there's little in this episode to interest us until the admittedly good balloon-based cliffhanger, although the Dynamic Duos' ridiculous leaps of logic with the word "fence" are admittedly amusing.


The Duo Is Slumming

"This should teach that crook to be a litterbug. He should put trash in a proper waste container."

Hmm. I usually watch a two parter and then blog them both immediately but this time, being uber busy juggling working from home, Little Miss Llamastrangler being at home while I'm doing this and Mrs Llamastrangler having possible symptoms of you-know-what (nothing that need alarm us), I haven't had enough free time to watch more than one episode a night so, for once, having written the above review of the first part last night... I'm not sure I'm quite of the same view.

Oh, these episodes are still a bit of a failure, make no mistake. But imagine the previous episode with Frank Gorshin's Riddler, dial down the Shakespeare quotes a bit, and have aviation as just a theme of the week, as silent films were last time. I suspect we'd suddenly have something quite decent. Puzzler is just a shallower character and Maurice Evans is just on luvvie autopilot rather than acting as such.

The script to this second part is actually quite decent, rubbish baddie aside. The escape from the balloon is gloriously silly, and I love the fourth wall-breaking cameo with Santa Claus, which we Doctor Who fans will inevitably compare to The Feast of Steven, also in 1966...

I'm afraid this story is still rubbish; it's no good trying to do an ersatz Riddler. But all that's needed to raise it from rubbish to good is Frank Gorshin, whose absence haunts every minute.

Batman: The Cat's Meow & The Bat’s Kow Tow

The Cat’s Meow

“Oh, nonsense, Chief O’Hara. I know a reformed woman when I see one.”

Oh my. Catwoman is back, so let there be much rejoicing... and this two parter is utterly, spendidly bonkers, Let's just examine what it's about:

• Catwoman has some sort of MacGuffin thingy that can steal people's voices.
• Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara foolishly believe Catwoman to have reformed because, essentially, they're hopelessly naive and she's flirty with them. Then again, she is rather delectable.
• Her plot involves a singing duo called Chad and Jeremy, who play themselves. I've never heard of them, but a little light Googling tells me that, while a one hit wonder here in their native UK, they had loads of hits in America. Blimey. I love their witty, Ringo-like press conference, and their confession to Aunt Harriet that they are only being pop stars so they can become brain surgeons and fancy lawyers.
• Once again Julie Newmar is superb- she's really perfected Catwoman's mannerisms, and once again gets to play her in another amusing disguise, this time a dance teacher. 
• The cliffhanger is essentially a version of Chinese water torture intended to turn Batman and Robin into mindless sex slaves.

There's a reason why I've come to see the name of Stanley Ralph Ross as the harbinger of what is likely to be a superior script. All this is utterly doo-lally. I love it.


The Bat’s Kow Tow

“A bit on the groovy side, aren't they?"

The cliffhanger resolution- finding the right note to shatter the glass in the echo chamber- is hilarious. So is Catwoman's stealing Chad and Jeremy's voices to blackmail us in Blighty, on the grounds that they pay so much income tax our "Empire" would collapse, taking the world economy with it. Even funnier is Batman's lengthy explanation of the economic consequences if Catwoman stealing the voices of everybody in the whole world.

And then we have the British consulate, and the delightfully stereotypical Sir Sterling Habits, who answers a phone call from back home with "Oh, Harold, how are you?". I'm loving every minute of this episode- and then we get the final scrap, and the exquisite flirting and near-kiss as Batman nicks Catwoman. The chemistry between the two of them is electric- I love how pleased she is when he describes her scheme as "one of your best".

None of the above has anything to do with cats. I don't care. Much more Catwoman please.

Kyuss- Welcome to Sky Valley (1994)

These days I love the genre known as "stoner rock", despite, as George W. Bush would have put it, not having imbibed any of the substance associated with it at any time during the last fifteen years. However, Kyuss are generally understood to have been one of the first bands associated with the genre, plus its line-up included a young Josh Homme, so it's a good band for rock family trees.

However, in the mid-'90s it was just another rock band that me and my mates like, and we didn't really see it in that context but listened to it in the same way we'd listen to Therapy? or the Wildhearts. It was always clear that it owed as much to punk as metal, and that it can also be seen as a fairly standard example of good '80s heavy rock in terms of its guitar sound.

However... thev production is different, ethereal, trippy. And this '90s rock sound happens within a structure which is very much not just verse-chorus-rinse-repeat. This, like all Kyuss albums, is not so much a collection of songs as a soundscape. And it is, in case I haven't made it clear, bloody good.

Batman: The Penguin’s Nest & The Bird’s Last Jest

The Penguin’s Nest

“Citizen, you may return to your harpsichord.”

With Frank Gorshin's Riddler suspiciously absent since the movie (a dispute over money?) it's clear by now, I think, that Burgess Meredith's Penguin is the cream of the remaining criminal crop. Catwoman has equal promise, but has only actully appeared twice in the TV series thus far and not really built up a head of steam, and Cesar Romero's Joker is not really in the same class. A script like this, penned by the splendid Lorenzo Semple Jr, only reinforces the Penguin's primacy.

The conceit is fun: the recently released Penguin is running a restaurant for the rich, but suddenly seems suspiciously keen to get arrested and sent to prison- a concept successfully mined for comic potential as a custard pie is thrown at the Commissioner- Neil Hamilton really is a superb comic actor, as I've been extremely remiss in saying. The scene with the Commissioner phoning "Batman" with Bruce in the next cubicle is equally hilarious.

Batman's eventual solution is funny, too- to arrest him on a petty offence and send him only to the police cells, an insult. But soon his plot becomes clear- a complicated forgery scheme with the forger neighbour to his permanent(!) cell. But the most priceless moment is where Warden Crichton tells Batman that inmates can easily access blank cheques to increase their financial skills- "Another first. Another one of your advanced penological techniques".

The cliffhanger is a little vague and overcomplicated. But still a superb episode.

The Bird’s Last Jest

“What about the underprivileged criminals..?”

So the cliffhanger resolution is... the Batshield and reversing the polarity of the cables. Hmm. Never mind, soo the Penguin's gang are all arrested and we have a very silly courtroom scene where Penguin quotes Emile Zola (I'm constantly impressed with the cultural references- you wouldn't get that on a similar show today) and gets himself released through verbal cleverness... but not to prison, as he so desperately wants.

So Alfred gets another secret mission with a forger's fingerprints hand painted by Batman. Apparently fingerprints can be forged this was but criminals never have a sufficiently steady hand as they are all "addicted to tobacco and alcohol". I love that.

The ending, with Alfred in a pie, is delightfully barmy with some typically absurd switching between the Caped Crusaders and their secret identities... and the conclusion is hilrious, with Penguin's forger friend being paroled as he heads to prion. A splendid pair of episodes.

Joy Division- Unknown Pleasures (1979)

It’s not exactly true to say that this band, and this album came from nowhere- one obvious influence, for a start, is that infamous Sex Pistols gig in the Manchester Free Trade Hall which, if everyone who claims to have seen it is to be believed, had an audience in the tens of thousands. There’s also the matter of the band’s name, the provocative nature and historical associations of which we tend to downplay.

But two things are undeniable: this album is truly great, and it sounds completely unlike anything before it. The songwriting, the production by Martin Hannett, the ethereal yet earthy melancholy voice of Ian Curtis- it all goes towards producing an extraordinary thirty-eight minute soundscape that is extraordinary art as a whole. For this album, picking out individual songs feels as though it would be to entirely miss the point.

There’s another echo within this album, of course- Ian Curtis’ suicide in May 1980 at just twenty-three, at a time, and in a rock ‘n’ roll milieu, when such events were essentially seen as tragically glamorous rather than a mental health emergency. But it is a tragedy that inevitably imprints itself on an album so indelibly and beautifully haunted by Curtis’ voice in deeply uncomfortable ways.

Unknown Pleasures is a complex and multifaceted beast. It’s also one of the greatest albums of all time.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999)

“I have a bad feeling about this...”

This is the first time I’ve seen this since I saw it at a now long-gone cinema in 1999, and went for a wee during the pod race scene. My twenty-two year old self was not impressed, but this time I was determined to watch with an open mind. So, is this film’s poor reputation deserved?

Well, on a second viewing two decades later the film is perhaps maligned a little more than it should be: it’s not that bad, and has its good points. But the fact remains that, aside from the effortlessly cool Liam Neeson as Qui-Hon Jinn, none of the main characters are particularly memorable, or at least not for the right reasons. Ewan McGregor is a charismatic actor in other stuff, but hopelessly miscast (or misdirected) here as Obi-Wan; in channelling Alec Guineas he fails to just be the character. Jake Lloyd was never going to win any Oscars for this, but he's a child actor. However... Jar Jar Binks? Just no.

The film starts in an uplifting manner with those opening titles, but then the blurb refers to “the taxation of trade routes”. The film has a decent plot- the Republic is declining so Palpatine uses a dispute with his pawns in the Trade Federation to start seizing power by manipulating all and sundry- but it’s just so damn slow. And George Lucas is as awful at dialogue as he ever was, although there are a few genuinely witty lines.

Still, it's not all bad- although this is clearly set in the Star Wars universe it's notable, having watched this straight after The Mandalorian that there are notable fewer Easter Eggs and fan-pleasing moments. Star Wars is still trying to do new stuff here. Also, the effects are awesome. Coruscant is cool as a kind of Trantor-like city planet. The CGI- especially with the sea monsters- is excellent and groundbreaking for 1999. I like Anakin's role at the end, paralleling Luke in Star Wars- although it's perhaps a little convenient for him to have designed C-3PO.

Oh, and the virgin birth is a terrible and pretentious idea. So is that of the Midichlorians, although on reflection this isn't quite as awful; the microbial nature of the Force doesn't make it any less magic. Still, the film isn't all that awful, and aside from the pod race and the ending it doesn't drag that much. But "not all that awful" is as far as I'm prepared to go.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 1- The Mandalorian

“Is it true that you guys never take off your helmets?"

It's here, at last. Disney Plus has reached the UK which, aside from a bunch of Star Wars films I need to belatedly blog, means the arrival of a certain acclaimed series, the title of which my inner voice always renders in the tune of The Pixies' "My Veloria(n)". And yes, you're welcome to that earworm.

I recall surprisingly little of Mandalorians. I know Boba Fett well from the original trilogy, and I recall that, at some point in the prequels (which I'll be blogging soon), he gets retconned as a clone with a Kiwi accent. That's it. I'm a Star Wars fan, but not an uber-hardcore one.

But I'm enough of a fan to notice all the many Easter Eggs, from the wipes between scenes taken from Akira Kurosawa via George Lucas to Salacious Crumb in a cage via all the many familiar alien races and tech- and an environment that, despite the preponderance of CGI,  just feels like Star Wars- starting with the hive of scum and villainy in which we first meet our eponymous Mandalorian, acquiring and delivering his quarry to an employer who turns out to be played by none other than Carl Weathers, the first of two legendary septuagenarians to appear in this first episode.

It's both brave and interesting to have an amoral bounty hunter protagonist who isn't particularly talkative, and whose depths as a character will be left to unfold slowly- and that's even before we get to the fact that, like Judge Dredd, he never removes his helmet.

The tone isn't unrelentingly grim and gritty, though- this is Star Wars. So we get the mystery of who is the Mandalorian's new employer and his hired former Imperial Stormtroopers- said employer played, bizarrely by auteur Bavarian director Werner Herzog- and his elliptically discussed target. We get Taika Waititi as IG-11, a superbly animated CGI version of IG-88 from all our Kenner plastic figure childhoods. We get the physical comedy of our protagonist trying to ride a Blurgg- a female one, of course, as he males are always eaten during mating.

Intriguingly, too, we get some back story- our hero is paid in Biskar, a substance which he gives to a Mandalorian woman who seems to be an armourer for unspecified but perhaps ritual purposes that hint at a forgotten history and culture, no doubt to be explored further. We even get teasing flashbacks.

We end with a sadly much-spoiled revelation that the target is a cute baby Yoda. This may be thirty-eight minutes of pure fan service, with the carbonite and the land speeders, but it's bloody good fan service. I'm already hooked.

Can- Tago Mago (1971)

This was the first "Krautrock" album I ever heard, in my early- to mid- twenties. Anything with a whiff of "prog" I still considered verboten at that stage. But "Krautrock" was fine, pretty much on the grounds that John Lydon liked it. Fortunately, over the last eighteen years or so, while far from an expert I've explored the whole genre a bit more.

Anyway, this album is awesome- sounds good, goes well over my head so never gets boring, and is a very specifically weird soundscape that somehow evokes its era. It's also bloody long. But it is, I think, the best introduction to Can and, perhaps, the best introduction to "Krautrock", which we probably shouldn't be calling this. If you like this album, feel free to explore more Can, plus stuff by Faust, Popol Vuh, Ash Ra Tempel and Amon Duul II. Some, all or most of these bands are from Dusseldorf which, I'm told, is Germany's answer to Wolverhampton. Shudder.

Rush- 2112 (1976)

For years I resisted anything that had the slightest whiff of "prog"- after all, my mental image of the genre as I understood it was Jethro Tull doing silly bollocks with flutes and Rick Wakeman faffing about pretentiously with ostentatious keyboards. More to the point, this was the dragon punk was supposed to have slain, and thereby saved us all.

What's more, the main thing I knew about Rush before I started properly listening to them was that drummer Neil Peart, while extremely talented, was once an acolyte of the loathsome Ayn Rand, whose half-baked books are sadly devoured by morons to this day. He disavowed such youthful folly decades ago, of course, but sadly this album manages the awkward combination of being a superb artistic achievement with propagandising Objectivism and, while I cannot dispute the band's freedom of speech- I abhor censorship except, as put by John Stuart Mill (a proper political philosopher unlike the very stupid Rand), where it is tantamount to shouting "fire" in a crowded building where there is no such conflagration- neither can I get myself to like this album, much as I have to admit it's very good- and I certainly find it easy to like other albums by Rush.

I must admit, though, that my youthful prejudices against “prog” were, well, lacking nuance. Rush, for example, are not Yes. This is straight head rock music which, while hardly composed of three words, has excellent song structure and is not that different from a lot of “post punk”.

Perhaps soon I’ll blog a Rush album that isn’t in large part about morally repugnant right wing bollocks...

Batman: Come Back Shame & It's How You Play the Game

Come Back Shame

"Moo."

Shame is, I think, the last of the truly iconic villains created for the TV series to appear, and first impressions of both Cliff Robertson and the character are very good indeed- he comes across as a menacing Western baddie from a real Western, but then this is the USA in 1966, when the Western was alive, well and popular both at the pictures and on the telly. There may well be silly henchmen (I like Messy James), but Shame himself is a surprisingly serious and dangerous character- his indulgence of little Andy is almost necessary to prevent the character from being too menacing.

It's back to a very formulaic opening few scenes again- there's only so many times you can mess with the format- this time with Bruce and Dick first seen playing Scalextric- then less than a decade old. It's appropriate to the racing car theme as Shame and his gang seek to steal parts for the ultimate getaway car to use in their main caper. The whole conceit makes for a splendidly exciting episode, with the first appearance of the Batcycle in some time. It's just a pity we have to see the bloody Alf-cycle again.

The fight, in a proper saloon bar, is awesome, with many tropes of fights from Western fisticuffs including using the full length of the bar for throwing one's assailant. And the cliffhanger, with the Dynamic Duo about to be trampled by cows, is a cut above most.

It's becoming decidedly apparent that Stanley Ralph Ross's name generally means a particularly good script.


It's How You Play the Game

"I knew he'd think I'd think he'd think I'd think he'd come back here."

The cliffhanger resolution is a bit pants, I suppose, but it's nevertheless fine by me on the grounds that it has Batman removing his cape and being a matador, providing some fun facts as a bonus. He gets an "ole" from Robin, and rightly so.

Also enjoyable are the splendidly stereotypical used car salesman and Cliff Robertson continuing to be awesome as Shame, a truly memorable villain. It's surprising that his ambitions go no higher than $1.2 million in, er cattle, but he is a cowboy, after all.

This week's wndo guest is some baddie from Hogan's Heroes, not a show that ever really crossed the Atlantic, but I sort of love how they brazenly ignore the fact that he's a) a Nazi and b) from a different time period. We also have a splendid shootout in a magnificent set, the "KO Corrall", and no doubt a thousand Western allusions I'm not getting.

The two parter is an utter triumph, and so is Shame as a character.

Coronavirus update

Blogging may be slightly less frequent during the week for the foreseeable future as I'm trying to combine working from home full time (I'm not so much in the front line, more in a chateau located some miles behind the trenches, but the work I do can't stop), looking after a disabled wife and home schooling a five year old.

Bear with me and I'll blog as much as I can!

Batman: Marsha, Queen of Diamonds & Marsha’s Scheme with Diamonds

Marsha, Queen of Diamonds

"Batman's never rude to a lady, Marsha. But you're no lady."

Phew. After yesterday's blog turning out to be a bit of a spanking, I'm relieved to say that this two-parter, with guest villainess Morticia from The Addams Family, is absolutely marvellous. A top notch baddie helps, of course, as do the legendary Estelle Winwood as the magnificent Aunt Hilda and even the chief henchman played by Woody Strode himself but, as ever with the best episode, the star is the script.

Yes, there's a somewhat dated and definitely pre-feminist take on the sexes here, but it's done with humour and tongue in cheek. And this script is creative- altering the formula to show the Dynamic Duo already in costume when we see them, for the first time ever, and showing us a baddie who gets what she wants via love potions concocted by her aunt, a witch and ex-chemistry professor, who has a bubbling cauldron. This is all such fun and, although it relies on gender stereotypes which are certainly sexist, its charm wins you over, a bit like one of Cupid's darts here.

It's fun to see both O'Hara and Commissioner Gordon fall under Marsha's spell, as well as the stereotypically Irish names of all the cops. Adam West shows superb acting in resisting the potion, while the cliffhanger is a genuinely refreshing change, with Batan about to publicly marry Marsha. Yes, this is probably a somewhat sexist metaphor for the trope of crafty women ensnaring innocent blokes in marriage, but I love it.


Marsha’s Scheme with Diamonds 

"Take it from me- when you've seen one Batcave, you've seen them all."

The cliffhanger resolution is at once clever, funny, and makes good use both of Alfred and of Aunt Harriett- although it's amusing to note that it must be '60s America, where every Englishman is from Liverpool. What's not to love? And then there's the hilarious scene where Comminssioner Gordon and O'Hara wonder what to tell their wives.

Best of all is the clever bit of humorous misdirection with the toad Batman and toad Robin at the end. And yes, I know I excoriated last week's episode for its absurd reliance on fantastical elements, but note how restrained this is: none of Aunt Hilda's more outlandish potions actually work, and the misirection at the end is just a wink at the fourth wall. This is a perfect example of how far you can stretch the fantastic in Batman.

Wonderful. Yes, this is light on action but every minute is a joy.More Marsha please.

Batman: The Impractical Joker & The Joker's Provokers

The Impractical Joker

"I can always think up a bit of a taradiddle."

Oh dear. I'm afraid this two-parter with the Joker's first appearance this season is completely bloody awful, the absolute nadir of the series so far. Still, most of the really egregious stuff happens in the second part: this first episode, while not particularly witty or standing out much, is at least a mildly diverting if unremarkable episode of Batman.

There are some warning signs, though- the comedy Scotsman with the kilt, sporran and outrageously bad accent is one thing, but the Dynamic Duo being foiled by a box and some hypnotism hardly makes them look very good, as the script pretty much admits. And the Joker is again giving out clues as though he were the Riddler- in fact, he comes across more as silly, capricious and childish than as a dangerous criminal here. And the whole episode is more of a series of vaguely key-related set pieces than a plot. If that had been done with any wit or cleverness it wouldn't matter, but I fear that it wasn't and it does.

I liked the cheeky shout-out to The Green Hornet, mind (same channel), but by the time we get to the over-complex cliffhanger we're hoping things will improve in the second episode. Will they?

(Interestingly, said silly deathtrap features vices. I knew that this word was often spelled "vise" in the USA but the Joker pronounced the word with the soft "s". Is this the norm for Americans? If so, I was entirely unaware.)


The Joker's Provokers

"There should be more fine, upstanding men like the Joker."

Er, no they won't. In fact, this episode dives right over a cliff as soon as we get that fantastical nonsense with the Joker manipulating time. This is bollocks for two reasons. Firstly, while Batman occasionally tips slightly into science fiction (see the character of Mr. Freeze), the emphasis should be on slightly. This type of outright magic (the Joker's description of what his magic box is made of is utterly ridiculous) just undermines what is essentially a programme rooted in the real world, albeit one that often does violence to the fourth wall.

Secondly, though, and mire importantly... the Joker has the power to control of time itself. The possibilities make the mind reel. Yet he uses it to.... extort $10 million from Gotham City. Really?

Just as bad is the cringe-worthy use of Alfred. Yes, it's always good to see him getting involved in crime fighting, but... the Alf-cycle? And his nightwatchman identical cousin (bet that's a TV Trope) Egbert, who speaks with an awful but vaguely proletarian accent is arse-clenching to watch, especially given that his dialogue is clearly written to evoke a blue collar American.

This a shockingly bad story, and all the more so for the rarity of this kind of misfire. Let's hope the Joker gets more respect from future scripts.