Doctor Who: Nightmare of Eden

Part One

“Interfere? Of course we should interfere! Always do what you’re best at, that’s what I say.”

It seems very strange to see Bob Baker credited as the writer with nary a sign of Dave Martin. But we’re instantly thrust into a familiar environment: deep space, a spaceship and those vaguely dull corridors that were always used to represent the future in the late 70s. The silliness of the incidental moment at the start is worrying but the story gets off to a good start, with David “Irongron” Daker and an early Big Sci-Fi Idea as two ships are melded together following exactly the sort of hyperspace jump we were told was “theoretically absurd” in The Stones of Blood.

Interestingly, I came to The Creature from the Pit expecting to like a story I had fond memories of but came away feeling slightly disappointed. In contrast I’d always thought of Nightmare of Eden as too sensible by half for the season it’s in and dominated by an overly preachy and excessively foregrounded “just say no, kids” moral about drugs. But in truth, I didn’t really find that much to object to on that score. There’s still something not quite right in the depiction of Vraxoin though. If it induces apathy and then kills you as quickly as it seems to, why would anyone take it in the first place? It just doesn’t seem realistic for people to be that stupid- you can’t imagine anyone taking it and imagining they could just take it a few times and not get addicted, which is how drug addiction tends to start in the real world. It’s all just too simplistic and devoid of grey areas, as though people who take drugs in real life are just being suicidal and nihilistic. Having said that, though, this time round it didn’t seem to be there primarily just to provide a cheap patronising moral but mainly to provide the basis for a sci-fi crime caper, if not quite Doctor Who does The Sweeney. And that makes it a lot less of a problem.

There are lots of little things in this episode to give us a flavour of what this future (twenty years after 2096, so roughly 2116) is like- a galactic recession, a real sense of an interstellar economy, scientific research. Other cool things include the Miniscope- er, CET machine, Tryst’s accent and the Doctor’s response to Rigg questioning who he is: “Galactic went out of business twenty years ago.” “I wondered why I hadn’t been paid.” “That’s not good enough.” “That’s what I thought.”

All good so far.

Part Two

“Nothing’s inexplicable.”

“Then explain it!”

Rigg’s drink is spiked with Vraxoin… but it’s meant for Romana! There’s clearly a baddie amongst the guest characters. The murder mystery aspect of the plot is quite well-handled and there’s a lot of misdirection, although the limited number of suspects means it’s not that hard to guess at least who one of the villains is.

We get some rather oddly dressed passengers, a chase involving a mystery man,. Revelations concerning Stott and Della, and two comedy thick excise officers who promptly try to arrest the Doctor and Romana. Oh, for a piece of psychic paper… This is fast-moving and genuinely well-plotted stuff, with the witty dialogue on top of a proper serious story. It’s a formula that seems to be working a lot better than the previous story.

Part Three

“Well, it’s a perfectly ordinary electric dog.”

The Doctor and Romana have been forced to take refuge in the CET machine, in a section taken from the planet Eden. So naturally the Doctor decides “Let’s go east!” Nice touch, that. And we learn that the creatures from the Black Lagoon- er, Eden, are called Mandrels. And Stutt’s been hiding in the CET machine spending most of his time being a narcotics agent (ah!) generally not being dead. This is good plot stuff- such constructive use of a third episode is almost unheard of in Doctor Who.

Meanwhile, the passengers are being attacked by Mandrels. Rigg, high on Vraxoin, protests that “They’re only economy class. What’s all the fuss about?” while the excise men generally faff about being generally incompetent. There’s no real sense of threat even as the excise man threatens Romana with a gun, but that’s ok as they’re basically just there to provide the comic relief.

This episode’s big reveal is that Vraxoin is made from dead Mandrels. But, good, well-constructed story that it is, Nightmare of Eden has plenty of surprises to come…

Part Four

“My arms! My legs! My everything!”

The ships have been separated at last, and the Doctor has vanished from the Hecate. But he turns out to be aboard the Empress, where he discovers that Dymond is implicated in the Vraxoin smuggling. I didn’t see that coming. Tryst’s guilt was just a teeny bit more obvious, but I suspect from the blatant way he tries to manipulate the excise man that we’re supposed to have already worked out that he’s a baddie. His efforts are futile though- from the moment Stott reveals himself it’s the Doctor, up to now a fugitive, who’s instantly in charge.

There’s a neat ending with Tryst being hoist by his own petard, and a nice delivery of “Go away.” By Tom Baker. A very appropriate ending to a very skilfully plotted tale.

Surprisingly better than I remembered, then- much better plotted, wittier, and much less focused on preaching about drugs than I remembered. A solid 4/5.

Doctor Who: The Creature From the Pit

Part One

“What are you doing in the Place of Death?"

“Oh, just pottering around. I have this insatiable curiosity, you see… why do you call it the Place of Death?”

“Because anyone found here is automatically condemned to death.”

“Ah.”

This is a story I’d been looking forward to immensely, as I remember finding this story an utter delight back when it was released on video- silly in a good, Season Seventeeny way, with lots of Douglas Adams-esque witty dialogue which often did extyreme violence to the fourth wall. Plus, it’s written by David Fisher, who penned two great stories last season. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, K9’s new voice, for a start. Perhaps it’ll grow on me, but David Brierley’s vocal style lacks the prissiness of John Leeson’s, and doesn’t deliver the lines the same way. K9 suddenly seems to have lost a large chunk of his personality.

The TARDISeers land on an alien planet where the our heroes attacked by silly yet convincing looking “Wolfweeds” and threatened with death by Eileen Way, a real face from the past. Some of the dialogue sparkles a bit, but it all seems a little formulaic, however much this is acknowledged in the dialogue. And then we get our hirsute cockney bandits, who all seem to be played like Fagin and out to pick a pocket or two. This is a little unfortunate, especially as they’re portrayed as grasping and greedy. Still, I love Romana’s attitude to being captured, and the cool way she contrives her escape.

It’s quite surprising to see Morris Barry turning up in an acting role here, executed for his unfortunate lack of “a teaspoon and an open mind”. But the main baddy is played in a suitably pantomimish fashion by Myra Frances- it’s not a particularly subtle performance but Lady Adastra is such a fun character, and there’s no other way her lines could have been delivered. She’s a pure cipher, but this is of course quite deliberate. This story knows exactly the sort of thing it is, as clearly shown by the dialogue’s frequently wrecking ball-like relationship with the fourth wall: “We call it… the pit!” / “Ah, you have such a way with words…”. It’s just that, for the first time in the Graham Williams era, this is all starting to sound a slightly troubling note. This story may know it’s a formulaic runaround crammed with stock characters, but that doesn’t stop it being a formulaic runaround crammed with stock characters.

Oh, and why on Earth does the Doctor just chuck himself into the pit at the end?

Part Two

“We call it… the creature!”

“Ah. That’s original.”

There’s a justly famous scene at the beginning of the episode, with the Doctor, hanging off a ledge halfway down the pit, consulting a climbing manual called Everest in Easy Stages. It’s in Tibetan, so the Doctor pulls out another tome from his bottomless pockets, this time titled Teach Yourself Tibetan. It’s a terrific gag, and I wouldn’t dream of being so churlish as the bring up any linguistic skills the Doctor may or not have displayed in Planet of the Spiders.

We get introduced to the fab Geoffrey Bayldon as Organon in this episode, and he gets by far the best line: “The future foretold, the past explained, the present… apologised for.” We’re also introduced to the eponymous creature, which looks almost exactly like a massive green… words fail me.

We’re introduced fully to the underlying concept behind the story here too- metal is rare and Adastra has the monopoly. It’s fundamentally a sound basis for a story, but never explored in any depth. In fact, much about this society is left vague- what’s the tech level? What about those other communities without a metal mine? How come a single mine produces so many different kinds of metals?

Part Three

“I thought you were dead! Why haven’t you died?”

“I’m sorry, my lady. It was… an oversight.”

It’s becoming increasingly clear that this isn’t going to be as good as I remembered it. It has lots of good one-liners and a fun camp villain, both of which protect it from falling too low in my affections, but I must admit the plot itself is very much by the numbers. Plus, I don’t like the way an astrologer is allowed to be a major character in here without astrology being seriously questioned at any point. That’s not the way Doctor Who has traditionally dealt with the subject.

The most eye-popping moment in this episode (and perhaps in all of Doctor Who thus far!) is a certain moment involving the Doctor and the creature’s, er, protuberance. I suspect it’s this more than the story’s perceived shortcoming that led to this story being one of the last out on video and is delaying its DVD release.

Part Four

“Have a care, Doctor!”

“Have a care yourself. Have a care for your people for a change.”

We finally get the big revelation- the creature, or Erato, is in fact an ambassador from Tythonius, who rather conveniently comes from a world with loads of metal and a deficit in chlorophyll, and arrived on this world to arrange a trade. Adrasta, wishing to retain her monopoly, kidnapped him, shoved him into a pit, and proceeded to drop engineers and astrologers on him. Instead of, say, just killing him. Once the secret is out, both Erato and her own people have a bone to pick with Adrasta and she is quickly killed. End of story. Except we’ve still got most of the episode to fill.

And there lies the problem- with the plot wrapped up, the episode just feels like padding to fill up the time until the end of the episode. Which is exactly what it is. And I’m not entirely sure the science is accurate!

Well, I’ve not exactly been complimentary about this story, but in spite of everything it has enough wit and charm about it to protect it from a seriously low rating. This is an odd one, the first genuine guilty pleasure because the fact is, despite its faults, I can’t help being fond of The Creature From the Pit. 3/5.

Doctor Who: City of Death

Part One

“Do you mean an alien’s trying to steal the Mona Lisa?”

“It’s a very pretty painting.”

For these cash-strapped times we begin with some shockingly excellent modelwork far superior to anything we’ve seen recently. And then, no less un-shoestringly, we’re in Paris, 1979. Just after leaving Skaro. Courtesy of the Randomiser for both landings. Er, yes…

Of course, this story is flawless in every way (well, there’s one piffling little thing in a later episode, but that can wait) so I’m having to try very hard not to spend the whole review gushing and quoting bits of funny dialogue or people might assume I’m the sort of person who does that in conversation, which simply wouldn’t do. So I’ll not quote any of the dialogue from the Eiffel Tower in an attempt to ration myself. It’s all fab though. And so, unusually, is Dudley Simpson’s incidental music. 

I realise what was going on off screen, but for me there’s absolutely no doubt that what we see here on screen is the Doctor and Romana obviously being a couple. The doctor’s clearly been dancing. Look at all the holding hands and the body language as they frolic amongst Notre Dame, the Place de la Concorde, and the Louvre. Oh, and Paris is very pretty by the way.

What’s that Romana just said? “Braxiatel Collection”? Pah! we’ll be heating no more of that, I’m sure.

There’s some nice directing from Michael Hayes, not at all harmed by the location- I love the shot through the postcard rack with the postcard removed. Through all these scenes Duggan is following our heroes, but within minutes settles down to the companion role for our two Doctors.

Interesting cliffhanger- we’ve established from the talk of playing games that the Countess is aware she’s basically just Scarlioni’s beard, but she doesn’t know the half of it…

Part Two

“What I don’t understand is why a man who’s got six Mona Lisas wants to go to all the trouble of stealing a seventh.”

Oh dear, the scene where the Doctor, Romana and Duggan are brought before the Countess and the Count is so damn quotable that I could spend the whole of the next page just quoting from it. But I’ll restrict myself to “My dear, no one could be as stupid as he seems”. Julian Glover is utterly perfect in the way he delivers his lines. It helps that he’s clearly loving it. Even the fact that the room is designed to fit a concept of what’s classy that, er, may have dated just a little, doesn’t detract from this perfect scene.

There’s a nice in-joke after our heroes are locked in the cellar where the Doctor asks Duggan if he’s like to “stay on as my scientific advisor?”, but that’s enough quotage for now. Honest. Other great stuff includes the Count’s lecture on how the Mona Lisa is going to be stolen, Duggan hitting people and the unravelling of the plot. 

Best of all though is the cliffhanger- I love the way Peter Halliday’s mercenary says of Captain Tancredi “He’ll be here instantly”- nicely postmodern, that- and it’s Scarlioni…

Part Three

“You know what I don’t understand?”

“I expect so.”

Hmmm, so the Jagaroth ship exploded 400 million years ago, not, say, 4.6 billion, and we’ll be given this figure again and again. I shall pretend this isn’t happening though as I insist this story is perfect in all ways.

I love Scarlioni / Tancredi’s “I think it’s time we conducted this conversation more formally” before calling for the thumbscrews- but I’m quoting again. Just one more; “When you work for the Borgias, you’ll believe anything!” The Mona Lisa plot becomes clear- Scarlioni is getting Leonardo to paint a further six of them in 1505 so that once he’s stolen the one in the Louvre in 1979 he’ll have seven of them, one each for every potential buyer. Except that the Doctor has just written “This is a fake” on all of them in felt tip. Brilliant!

Meanwhile, we have the Romana / Duggan team-up. Twice Romana sneaks into a building and twice Duggan smashes through a window! Once we’re back to Scarlioni, though, we get my only problem with this story- Scarlioni’s splintered selves being responsible for the pyramids, fire, the wheel and the mapping of the heavens. I don’t like it when it’s implied that humans aren’t clever enough to do all those things so aliens must have done them. Still, one gripe ain’t bad.

There’s something a bit peculiar about this episode though- in the scene where the Doctor walks into the café to enquire about Romana and Duggan, with the television in the background showing (in English, apparently!) the news of the Mona Lisa being stolen, there’s a man at the bar, who appears in no other scene, and says “I’ll see you, eh?” as he takes his leave. This looks very much like a cameo to me- not Douglas Adams, surely?

Part Four

“On the contrary, Doctor, you’re going to help me.”

“I am?”

“You are indeed. And if you do not, it will be so much the worse for you, for this young lady and for several other people I could mention if I happened to have the Paris telephone directory on my person.”

Poor professor! Interesting conversation between Scarlioni and Romana afterwards, though. It’s here that it strikes me what a mind-blowingly paradoxical concept it is to have splinters of Scaroth scattered through time- the later splinters must have their personal timelines altered many times by the earlier ones.

The professor’s death is followed by that of the Countess (I rather liked her). There follows a race against time in which we get to see some of the bits of Paris we missed out on in Part One such as the Arc de Triomphe and, er, some taxis. But just at the point the Doctor and co, anxious to travel back and stop Scaroth, reach the TARDIS, we get another fab scene with Eleanor Bron and yer actual John Cleese. This is roughly the last point where the possibility of this story being ranked anything less than the top spot so far disappeared utterly. Even the fact that prehistoric Earth features an obvious matte painting doesn’t detract from anything.

And the ending is perfect. Duggan’s punch saves the day! The Doctor has arranged for one of the Moma Lisas with “This is a fake!” written on it in felt tip to be hung in the Louvre, but that’s fine because it’s what it looks like that matters. Wow.

Well, that was stonkingly good, perfect, genius. 5/5, obviously. The best story so far, easily. For the first time in 13 years we have a story that’s actually better than The Massacre. I’m still reeling from how good it was. There’s a reason for my policy of rationing my viewings of this story to avoid diluting the pleasure of each viewing!

Doctor Who: Destiny of the Daleks

Part One

“Oh, look. Rocks!”

So, K9 has laryngitis (no behind-the-scenes reasons for that, I’m sure…) and has to stay in the TARDIS. That’ll be Terry Nation not wanting a fight between the Daleks and K9 then.

Lalla Ward is here to stay (yay!) although not without a certain amount of faffing about. I refuse to make any great play out of the fact she seems to try out four bodies as the whole thing’s supposed to be a laugh, and the whole thing seems a lot less worrisome continuity-wise since the Doctor grew that hand back in The Christmas Invasion. Which, of course, hasn’t happened yet, so pretend I didn’t say that.

Incidentally, just as significant as the change in lead actor is the fact that Romana’s still hanging around after the quest for the Key to Time is over.

Anti-radiation pills- yep, it’s definitely Terry all right. And as the Doctor and Romana step on to the planet we hear a very familiar background sound instantly telling those in the know that it’s Skaro. It’s all thanks to “special sound” chap Dick Mills, I suspect, that such touches are still there sixteen years after The Daleks. And let’s see… a ruined city; part one spent exploring; slave workers… already this is looking like Terry Nation’s Greatest Hits Part II (Planet of the Daleks being Part I, but you knew that). And then we have a spaceship landing and the line “Well, at least it’s not a flying saucer.” Is Nation mocking himself or is new script editor Douglas Adams doing it for him, I wonder? On the subject of our new script editor, incidentally, I couldn’t help noticing the Doctor saying “bye bye” rather a lot throughout this story.

Terry gives us some more of his standards as Romana is followed by a mysterious figure who, let me try out a wild guess, may well turn out to be a goodie, and access to the TARDIS is blocked by some less than solid-looking rubble. The scenes are familiar, but the dialogue is notably wittier than usual for a Nation script, and the Doctor’s reading a book by Oolon Caluphid. The contrast in style between Adams’ dialogue and Nation’s doing his usual stuff really makes it hit home just how dated and, frankly, tired the usual Nation stuff feels by this late stage.

The Doctor is captured by disco dancers from space (I have to say that cos it’s 1979) and Romana gets the Dalek cliffhanger. There’s one thing I’m not sure of, though- do the Daleks want Romana to move or not?

Of course, the best bit about it is that Romana only falls into the Daleks’ path after our mysterious figure walks towards her menacing and doesn’t say anything to her for some reason.

Part Two

“If you’re supposed to be the superior race of the universe, why don’t you try climbing after us?”

The Doctor’s captors are called the Movellans and they’re actually quite nice- or are they? Whatever, I like their hair. And they give the Doctor someone to boast that he knows the Daleks “better than you can possibly imagine” to. Romana’s captors are definitely baddies, though, and their lair still has that cool throbbing sound after all these years. Thank you, Dick Mills!

Romana seems quite frightened during her interrogation, perhaps a little less self-assured at this stage than when she was being played by Mary Tamm? The Daleks, meanwhile, demand to know if she’s in the employ of a “space power”. We’ll be hearing about an awful lot more space thisses and space thats. I suspect they amused Douglas adams as much as they amuse me so he left them in. Good call.

Romana’s sent to work as a slave, but it’s immediately apparent that she doesn’t fit in, as she’s clearly the only person present capable of saying anything that isn’t 100% exposition. So she fakes her death and escapes, hopefully to find a better standard of conversation elsewhere. Meanwhile, the Daleks are burrowing deeper into what we now learn is the same Kaled city from Genesis of the Daleks. Heh. That Dalek just said “penetration”.

The big reveal is Davros, apparently perfectly preserved (we can’t see much of the lower bit of his mask yet) and coming to life…

Part Three

“What were we talking about?”

“Your inevitable destruction.”

“No. no, no. we had that conversation the last time we met.”

Davros opens his mouth. Oh dear. The voice is possibly the most important aspect of the character, and David Gooderson just isn’t any sort of replacement for Michael Wisher’s alternately ranting and silky tones. These scenes are well directed, mind- I particularly like the lighting with all the green, and the fact the Daleks are always shot from slightly below to make them look bigger.

The doctor has a bit of a chat with Davros, and it’s him who has to do all the work to keep the conversation as Davros is a bit of a bore, and the bottom half of his face is all rotten to boot. The Daleks clearly want Davros and approach, but the Doctor has a bomb (well, he’s always using weapons, after all) and so off they all spack. We have a bit of a stand-off, with the Doctor managing to negotiate hard even after the Daleks start killing prisoners- suddenly they’re Nazis again.

The Movellans turn out not to be so nice after all, but as the Doctor and Tyssan (and what a well-rounded character he is) easily defeat one by playing catch they’re obviously not much of a threat.

The moment the story goes very badly wrong is where the Doctor finds a Kaled mutant and comments that the Daleks are just “another” race of “robots”, about which more next episode. But first we get two countdowns (clichés duly counted) and a cliffhanger.

Part Four

“Vision impaired! Vision impaired!”

Interesting to see that Davros seems very much in control. There’s apparently still a Supreme Dalek but “That is a title I shall dispute most vigorously!”

Lan points out that the Movellans need someone to stay behind to guard their bomb and is immediately volunteered for this suicide mission, to his complete equanimity, as he’s a robot. But here’s the problem- this episode reveals the whole crux of the story to hinge around, as the Doctor puts it, “one race of robots fighting another”. No, no, no! The cool thing about the Daleks has always been their personality. They’re not logical creatures- they’re cruel, they’re arrogant, they can be quite anal, they can throw a right mardy every now and again, and most of all they’re sneaky and Machiavellian. Making them just robots takes away all their character, and is a thousand times worse than what was done to the Cybermen in Revenge of the, er, Cybermen. 

So we have a logical deadlock- two battle fleets, two computers calculating the optimum moment to strike, and not a shot fired- as the Doctor puts it, the perfect recipe for eternal peace. This is actually a brilliant idea which would work fantastically if one of the two sides didn’t happen to be the Daleks.

We move to the scissors paper stone scene, which seems to go a bit too neatly- how come the Doctor always beats Commander Sharrel? Then Davros has the Daleks turn suicide bombers while the ex-slaves start doing stuff. Only Tyssan ever says anything, of course. A couple of spots of bother with bombs from Sharrel and our suicide bomber Daleks are dealt with by the Doctor and Romana respectively, and that’s it. It’s a good job the Daleks happened to reveal their plans to an eavesdropping doctor, mind. A rather neatly plotted ending, I admit, but it’s treatment of the Daleks is just wrong wrong wrong.

The way the Daleks have suddenly turned into robots is wrong on all sorts of levels. Having said that, though, they don’t behave particularly more like robots here, and the plot’s sound. But the problem is that the story consists of a load of things we’ve seen before from Terry Nation one after the other, and it all suddenly feels very tired. Perhaps I’m being a little harsh (Planet of the Daleks was very very silly and a load of old tosh but I enjoyed it, and that was comprised of similarly recycled Terry Nationage) but this only gets a 2/5, narrowly avoiding a plasce in my bottom 10. I suspect this story is one of those that lose out from being watched as part of the Marathon.

Still, I suspect I’ll like the next story better!

Doctor Who: The Armageddon Factor

Part One

“Don‘t say it, please! Don’t say ‘Another underground passage!’”

The beginning is fantastic- an ersatz Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard in a spoof piece of propaganda which contains the line “Men out there, young men, are dying for it”. Unfortunately, as the camera pulls back to reveal the joke it also reveals a general cheapness of the kind which was so ubiquitous last season but which has been far less on obvious show recently. And, of course, this is a script by the Bristol Boys, and I fell out badly with them last season. This is not a story I’d been looking forward to, frankly, as the last time I watched it about four years ago I absolutely hated it.

But actually, some so-so acting and a bit of visual cheapness aside, there’s not a lot wrong with this first episode. The premise seems simple at first- Atrios is at war with its neighbour, Zeos although, naturally, this being a Baker and Martin script, we shouldn’t expect the “nuclear” part to in any way reflect scientific fact. The Marshal, who seems to be in charge, is a stereotypically trigger-happy military type who owes a fair bit to Jack D. Ripper and, surprise surprise, wants to carry on with the war. Princess Astra (the lovely Lalla Ward- yay!), meanwhile, wants the war stopped, and has been trying to negotiate with the Zeons, alongside her medic boyfriend Zerak. Except that Zeos doesn’t seem to be there. And, this being a sci-fi concepts heavy Bristol Boys script, we instantly know that’s important.

And then more mysteries pop up: the Marshal is talking to a mysterious mirror, and the Doctor and Romana can’t see Zeos from the TARDIS. But it’s not all big sci-fi ideas- there’s some great dialogue between the Doctor, Romana and K9 towards the end of this episode, which makes me suspect the hand of Anthony Read, who’s had an unexpectedly fantastic season as script editor. K9’s description of optimism as “Irrational, bordering on insane” is priceless.

Part Two

“I think one of us is being extremely stupid.”

“Affirmative.”

I love the Doctor’s dialogue when the Marshal unexpectedly becomes friendly towards him, claiming that his coming has been foretold. His mockery of the marshal’s cod-Shakespeare dialogue is great, and I love the way he spends much of this episode gently mocking the Marshal in ways that go over his head. In fact, the awesomeness in this episode pretty much centres on the dialogue; I love K9’s silly yet bathetic “Temperature unacceptable!” as he trundles to his fiery doom.

Oh, and the space invaders scene is brilliant, as is the very fact that Atrios has only six- er, three- ships. The mystery continues, too, with the suggestion of something between Atrios and Zeos. Once again, a surprisingly good episode.

Part Three

“I have watched you and your jackdaw meanderings!”

Suddenly things really start happening and we get some total changes of setting and situation which, rather unfortunately, strain the budget a little, but still show this to be a surprisingly great plot which tends to foreground the Big Ideas- the very things that Baker and Martin are good at.

Our heroes are transmatted to the mysterious third planet we get to meet the Shadow and his similarly hooded underlings. Things start getting rather epic as the Shadow demand the five segments of the Key to Time which are in the Doctor’s possession, and he has the TARDIS. He also has Astra. And, incidentally, if Astra is the only surviving member of Atrios’ royalty, why isn’t she queen? Presumably at some point the Marshal became military dictator and ended the monarchy.

The Doctor manages to talk his way out of trouble- and the Shadow simply walks away declaring he’s just going to wait for the Doctor to make a mistake! Bizarre though it may seem, this scene actually works through clever scripting.

The episode ends on a bombshell- there are no Zeons on Zeos as they’ve all been killed in the war, but their automated defence system, under the control of K9’s new computer friend Mentalis, have carried on prosecuting the war anyway- a brilliant concept. The next stop is “obliteration”. Of everything…

Oh, and I love Shapp’s description of Zeons as looking just like the Atreusians(?) aside from their clothing. The cheap depiction of alien races in this season extends even to verbal descriptions!

We end with the Marshal’s ship, clearly based on the Millennium Falcon- this is our first blatant influence from Star Wars. And, as another aside, it occurred to me while watching it that it’s probably the influence of the Bristol Boys who pretty much caused the word “transmat” to become a Doctor Who standard- they were using it back in The Sontaran Experiment and they’re still using it here in their swansong story as a team.

Part Four

“I’ve stopped the universe.”

So, the Marshal wants to blow up both worlds for some reason, but Mentalis won’t defend itself as it’s won the war- the clichéd military mind versus the clichéd machine mind- “the armageddon factor”. How very cold war. Why was all this not explained at the end of last episode? It certainly would have helped improve the cliffhanger.

After spending a comically long time panicking, the Doctor and Romana finally remember they can take shelter in the TARDIS. Rather cleverly, the Doctor knocks up an ersatz sixth segment so he can use the Key to Time to create a time loop, delaying Armageddon for a few hours.

Great cliffhanger here, as K9 calls the Shadow “Master”!

Part Five

“Your silliness is noted.”

The Doctor and the Shadow get a rather pleasing confrontation scene here, as the Shadow reveals, to no one’s surprise, that he’s an agent of the Black Guardian, and so the Doctor’s counterpart. Rather more of a surprise is the appearance of Drax, a technician coerced into helping the Shadow, who turns out to be not only a Time Lord but an old classmate of the Doctor’s.

We’re told that the Doctor and Drax were both in the “Class of ‘92”, and that the Doctor’s uni nickname was “Theta Sigma” or “Thete”! And all this was 450 years ago, 73 years after the Doctor first stole the TARDIS, if Romana’s comments in The Pirate Planet are to be believed! Drax spent five years in Brixton Prison, where he picked up not only a cockney accent but a complete set of cockney stereotypes, and is now trapped, with his TARDIS on Zeos. He’s a Time Lord, not just an ordinary Gallifreyan. And apparently the war’s been going on for five years, so they’re a lot more efficient at this nuclear war business than, say, the people of Skaro. 

The Shadow, dastardly fellow that he is, wants to do with the whole cosmos what he’s done with Atreus and Zeos, causing a nuclear war between the two sides of the cosmos like a proper Dr Strangelove. The fiend!

Part Six

“Any second now, beautiful mushrooms will blossom and burst!”

So, Astra is the sixth princess of the sixth dynasty of the sixth royal house of Atrios. Good job the Doctor and Romana happened to come across her sixth, then. But the idea of an actual person, with as much right to live as anyone, being a segment of the Key is pretty horrible, and I’m glad we get some dialogue in which Romana says so. It seems even the White Guardian is not necessarily very nice from the perspective of a mere mortal.

The Black Guardian is great. I care not that he’s just the White Guardian with the negative reversed, as we get to hear Valentine Dyall’s magnificent voice. I shall gloss over his silly attempts at disguise and move straight to the Doctor’s “absolute power” speech- another great piece of acting from Tom Baker. The ending doesn’t quite work, which is disappointing- after all this, the Doctor just scatters all the segments through space and time again? What happened to this great crisis we were told about in The Ribos Operation? Surely the White Guardian will be highly displeased? Still, Asdtra’s back, and after a season of the Doctor having absolute control of the TARDIS he’s now obliged to fit a “randomiser”. No doubt he won’t be landing anywhere we’ve heard of for a good while, then.

Surprisingly entertaining stuff, that. Not one of the greats but some great sci-fi concepts and lots of wit and humour make this a strong 4/5. And doing that comes as a shock to me, frankly- before the Marathon I’d have had this down as a dead cert for a 1/5.

And just as shockingly, after last season’s car crash, this season scores a solid 4.667/5, making it my favourite season so far! Now that I was not expecting.

Doctor Who: The Power of Kroll

Part One

“Will there be strawberry jam for tea?”

Our first scene introduces us to our group of miners, among whom are John Leeson taking a break from K9 to play Dugeen, the ever-splendid Philip Madoc as Fenner and the extremely impressive Neil McCarthy as Thawn. He’s superb as our villain of the piece, a cold-hearted personification of corporate evil. All of which is to say that already this is shaping up to be our finest cast of the season, and John Abineri hasn’t even appeared yet.

It’s a familiar set up- an anti-colonialist morality tale at heart, although perhaps with a more up-to-date flavour of corporate activity in the Third World rather than evocations of pith helmets and mem-sahibs. It’s all quite strikingly political though. The humans want to mine this world’s mineral resources, they refer to the natives dismissingly as “Swampies”, they work for a “company”, and there are apparently activists known as the Sons of Earth who oppose this kind of thing. All of which is quite efficiently exposited by Robert Holmes’ script in a scene which gives us a basic impression of what these characters are like.

The TARDIS lands in what is, it must be said, an excellent location, and we’re told this is the third moon of Delta Magna. The mercenary Rohm-Dutt, meanwhile, is busy gun-running with the Swampies. Both TARDISeers are soon captured, the Doctor by the human miners and Romana by the Swampies and Rohm-Dutt. How very traditional. As is the obvious model oil rig which brings back nostalgic memories of Terror of the Zygons. This is all very hard-boiled, especially for this season, but the setting is extremely well thought out. I love the Swampies’ use of the term “Dryfoot”.

We eventually learn that the humans intend to create ten mines here, which will lead to the inevitable destruction of the Swampies’ habitat. Something tells me it might not work out that way…

Part Two

“Well, he probably looked more convincing from the front.”

The perfect cliffhanger resolution- it really is just a man in an unconvincing rubber costume. Brilliant!

The Doctor and Romana disappear into an underground passage- of which there have been quite a few this season- to do some reading up on Swampie mythology and the mysterious Kroll, who apparently just pops up every couple of centuries; “A sort of Holy Writ” says the Doctor of the book they find. “I think it’s atrociously writ.” says Romana. Groan. It seems the proteins the human colonists are after are part of Kroll’s enormous bulk, and that in mining right into his tentacles they’re not being entirely wise.

The cliffhanger’s odd- the Doctor, Romana and Rohm-Dutt are to be executed by one of the Swampies’ seven deadly rituals, yet we end with one of the baddies in danger.

Part Three

“I’m not going to be stopped by lily-livered sentimentalists wailing about the fate of a few primitive savages!”

What a very long reprise. And what a very nasty means of execution- being slowly stretched until your spine snaps as the sun dries out the vines. Our heroes are extremely fortunate that the storm turns up when it does so the Doctor can save them all in a rather nifty fashion.

Kroll’s getting rather more active now, and he’s fulfilling a useful role in getting rid of characters, like Rohm-Dutt. Who have served their plot purpose.

Part Four

“”I’m reporting you for murder!”

We now have dissension in the refinery ranks, as Dugeen and Fenner object to Thrawn’s plan to fire depth charges at Kroll- Dugeen because he’s an apparent sympathiser with the Sons of Earth, Fenner because he’s cynical but realistic. This is paralleled with the Swampies as Varlik and the others come to question more and more Ranquin’s insistence that Kroll is a god and not just a mindless predator. It’s not surprising to see that Ranquin’s fate is to be Death By Kroll.

It ends nicely, with the Doctor in Kroll’s clutches but just managing to reach for the tracer to turn Kroll back into the fifth segment. The humans now have no protein to mine and the Swampies are presumably safe. Hooray! There’s a note of unpleasantness after this though- a lot of people mentioned in their reviews to The Sun Makers that the fate of Gatherer Hade was a little too nasty and undermined the moral rightness of the Doctor’s friends, something I entirely failed to spot at the time. Something similar seems to happen here- just as the Doctor and Romana leave, the remaining Swampies start to advance on Fenner. No doubt some vines will be drying out shortly.

This is probably the biggest pleasant surprise of the marathon so far- I wasn’t expecting to like this much and I wasn’t looking forward to seeing it, but actually I find myself giving it 4/5. It was well-written, admittedly hard-boiled but with enough humour to leaven things, well characterised, very well performed and on the whole well made. It just loses a point for Holmes allowing the political subtext, fine in itself, to overwhelm the story at times.

Doctor Who: The Androids of Tara

Part One

“Do you mind not standing on my chest? My hat’s on fire.”

We start with the Doctor and K9 playing chess, as in The Sun Makers, and once again the Doctor contrives to leave the game unfinished once he knows he’s losing. It’s a good scene, but in the context of the marathon it’s a little disturbing to see the seemingly oblivious repeating of something so recent. Never mind though- this first episode is a good ‘un.

Arguably it’s more than a little out of character for the Doctor to have a “day off” at a time like this, although the character has been moving more in that direction lately. Still, I can’t dispute that it’s all well scripted and performed. But if looked at as a commentary on the Doctor Who format itself (as pretty much everything about this story is) it definitely works. On a similarly format-subverting note, Romana finds the first segment within just a minute or so.

I have to admit the monster is… unfortunate. In fact, it’s suddenly quite noticeable that there’s been a distinct lack of monsters this season so far, and the only two proper ones we’ve seen- the Shrivenzale and this one- have been notoriously bad. Could this be why the budget seems to be stretching further this season than last, because of a deliberate cutting back on the monsters?

Peter Jeffrey, on top moustache-twirling form, makes a great entrance as our villain (boo! hiss!) Count Grendel as he “escorts” Romana to his castle, while the Doctor becomes acquainted with Zadek and his unnamed swordsman underling in a rather amusing scene. I particularly love the bit where he briefly grabs the sword to examine it and then immediately hands it back.

We’re given a brief précis of the plot so far; Prince Reynart must appear at the appointed time to be crowned king, but Grendel wants him killed first. But he has plans to avoid this, involving an android strangely similar to those in the Android Invasion. Is this originally Kraal technology perhaps?

This is a fascinating world, where everything looks mediaeval on the surface but technology lurks, suitably embarrassed, in all sorts of corners, as this is a society where engineering is the work of peasants. A great concept, and also a great excuse for doing The Prisoner of Zenda as science fiction. I’d better put my hand up here and confess I’ve not read the novel and frankly have no particular intention of doing so, but I love the occasional asides: “Well, it has been done before.”

Part Two

“Don’t be so tediously heroic, my dear fellow!”

Picking up from where we left off, there’s an exchange early in this episode which pretty much sums up how brazen the script is about its debt to Anthony Hope: “There is a secret passage.” “Ah! I thought there might be something like that!” Wonderful tongue-in-cheek self-referential stuff, of course, but let’s take it a bit too literally for a moment- how come the Doctor’s so aware of the rules of the fictional genre he’s in? Is this planet what it seems, or could it be a part of the Land of Fiction or some such place?

We get to meet Princess Strella, played by guest actress Mary Tamm, and get to hear about the rather tragic situation between that cad Grendel and poor Madame Lamia. Apparently she has the hots for him as he once did her “a certain courtesy”, but as he is a noblemen and she a mere peasant she hasn’t a hope. Instantly the audience sympathises with her, even though at no point in the story is she very nice.

We get to see Cyril Shaps again as the Archimandrite, which is nice, and also get a little backstory; two centuries ago a plague decimated the population (I love it when I can use the word “decimated” with complete accuracy) and that’s when androids started to be used to replace people. Not exactly the fullest explanation I’ve ever heard!

Part Three

“It’s funny. They always want you to go alone when you’re walking into a trap. Have you noticed that?”

I love these kinds of episodes; it may be one of those part threes where the plot takes a week off to wait for the conclusion and the time just gets filled up with loads of capture and escape scenes, but frankly who cares when it’s this much fun? I loved the scene where K9 slowly cuts a door in the tent so he and the Doctor can escape- the flip side of so many old Terry Nation Dalek stories!

We get some actual poignancy too here though as Lamia’s story comes to an end. She knows Grendel’s just using her- she’s not stupid- but “That is better than nothing”. And when she’s killed (I think the only character in the story to die), Grendel barely notices.

In other news, most of the episode is taken up with the elaborate springing of Romana from Grendel’s clutches, only for Grendel to restore her to said clutches at the end…

Part Four

“Next time, I shall not be so lenient!”

I love Grendel’s silly and convoluted plan- Romana, posing as Princess Stella, Marries King Reynart. Raynart meets with an unfortunate and tragic accident. Grendel marries the widowed Romana, masquerading as Princess Strella. Romana, that is, not Grendel. Grendel is now prince consort. Romana, still posing as Princess Strella, meets with an unfortunate and tragic accident. Her grieving widower is now king. Phew!

A great conclusion, with all the usual fun, a great exit for Grendel, and even a swordfight. Still, poor K9!

A wonderful story, a very high 5/5. Loads of postmodern humour with almost everything being a commentary on the programme and the genre it’s currently pasticheing. The uber-Graham Williams story. One caveat, though: much as I love this kind of thing, I can understand why some people don’t like the amount of violence that’s getting inflicted on the fourth wall this season. I love it unreservedly, but I can understand how too much of it would threaten the integrity of the programme. Still, we can probably sit back and safely enjoy some more of this sort of thing until that point gets reached. Say, the rest of this season and all of next?

Doctor Who: The Stones of Blood

Part One

“They’ve been circling all afternoon…”

We know the score for openings this season by now- the TARDIS flies through space a bit, then a bit of banter in the TARDIS between Romana and the Doctor. It’s become a formula, but it’s a good one. And then it’s straight to some brief scene to establish the kind of story this is going to be- a stone circle, druidic cultists, loads of atmosphere. Great!

Romana’s decided to wear a Burberry cap. Er, how classy. And the Doctor’s decided to finally tell her about the white guardian, in a scene that makes strangely little of the fact he’s been concealing it from her so far. One could almost suspect this whole ongoing thread was only there as an excuse to provide a bit of exposition halfway through the season for the casual viewer!

Some nice humorous bits as our heroes leave the TARDIS as K9 erases all knowledge of tennis from his memory banks and the Doctor hurls an umbrella away with great force. Litterbug! And then things really start getting good as the indescribably fantastic Beatrix Lehmann turns up as the brilliant Professor Amelia Rumford with her in-no-way-sinister “friend”, Vivien Fay.

As an aside, I’m fairly sure Tom’s Doctor has been more or less teetotal in contrast to his predecessors (a case of art not imitating life), but he accepts a sherry from De Vries in a brief but necessary scene for plot things to be set up (along with lots of pleasingly accurate history about John Aubrey and modern druidism). Only briefly, though, as the cultists end up inevitably starting to ritually sacrifice the Doctor in what must have been intended by David Fisher (new writer!) as a double cliffhanger. As it happens, it’s a rather odd one, with Romana being threatened while on OB video with a perilous sheer cliff that’s on film.

Part Two

“I hope that knife’s been properly sterilised.”

Now we’ve had an episode introducing our refreshingly small guest cast (which is about to get even smaller as our cultists friends all proceed to bugger off), we can really get on with the fun. Of course, there’s a certain exchange between Amelia, Romana and Vivien which cannot go unmentioned: “Hop on the back.” “Er, would you mind if I just walked?” ”Oh, nonsense! You may find it rather hard.” “it’ll be a new experience for you, no need to be afraid.” Do you reckon there might be some sort of subtext there?

We get our first incidence of the deadly Rocks Of Doom trying to appear menacing as they, er, advance, but that’s actually ok as this fits in rather nicely with the silliness of the story. And the plot’s actually rather clever, giving us lots of clues to piece together that Vivien is the Cailleach.

Part Three

“Are you from outer space?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“I’m more from what you would call ‘inner time’.”

“Ah.”

I know I was defending the advancing Stones of Doom a mere episode ago, but I must admit the stones advancing on the Doctor and Amelia in the secret cellar type thingy are a bit pants. But Amelia immediately banishes all thoughts of rubbishness from my mind by splendidly announcing that she and the Doctor should capture one of these creatures in the name of science. Bravo! But apparently these rocks are, the Doctor tells us with a straight face, from the planet Ogros in Tau Ceti. Fancy that.

There’s an intriguing attitude to hyperspace in this story, incidentally- even Romana pooh poohs it as a theoretical absurdity that clearly is never used. So how have all the many faster-than-light spaceships we’ve been seeing all the time in Doctor Who been working then?

The whole nature of this episode changes in this story- we even get some guest characters who aren’t Amelia or Vivien as a camping couple are killed by Ogri in a surprisingly scary scene. And with the change of scene to the inside of the spaceship (and its dead Wirrn), the story steps up yet another gear with the appearance of the splendid bickering Megara.

Part Four

“As your counsel, I advise you to submit to execution. So much easier in the end.”

All the stuff with the Megara is outrageous padding really, but it’s all such great stuff. David Fisher is clearly having great fun with the mockery of pompous judges and frankly so am I. I love the way the Megara keep mentioning how generous they are to allow the Doctor to appeal his sentence, after which he will of course be executed. Oh, and the doctor’s wig is great as well.

The Doctor’s catching out of Vivien, or Cessair of Diplos, is actually rather good, and it’s a nice ending for the kiddies to see her turn to stone. It’s also great to see the Doctor outwit the Megara, but then he always was a step ahead of them!

Fantastic, then, and a superb debut from David Fisher. This season hasn’t been doing at all badly so far, it must be said! 5/5.

Doctor Who: The Pirate Planet

Part One
 

“That is a forbidden object.”

“Why?”

“That is a forbidden question. You are a stranger?”

“Yes.”

“Strangers are forbidden.”

For the second story in a row it’s clear that the sometimes embarrassing production values of last season aren’t going to be repeated- the model city is nicely designed, and the sets and costumes are all more than acceptable. But the real joy of this story is the dialogue- Douglas Adams has arrived at last, the Graham Williams era has finally found itself, and there’s a real sense that, after last season’s missteps, things are going to be all right.

Some interesting dialogue in the TARDIS at the start, incidentally- the Doctor’s been operating the TARDIS for 523 years, which would make him 236 when he nicked it, if he is indeed 759 as Romana says (interesting he gets his own age wrong, especially in the light of Steven Moffat’s recent-ish comments that a time traveller would inevitably lose track of their own age). If the Doctor was about 450 in Tomb then he can’t have been more than a few years younger at his regeneration as there have always been companions around who haven’t visibly aged. So the first Doctor was travelling for over 200 years, a long time, and all but the last few of them before An Unearthly Child. No doubt that’s exactly what this production team meant to imply, and it was in no way a throwaway comment…

Anyway, there are great sci-fi concepts all over the place from the very start- the planet Calufrax seems to have gone missing, and for some reason the Captain (great character, great over-the-top performance by Bruce Purchase and a great double act with Mr Fibuli) can occasionally declare a golden age of prosperity at the drop of a hat, following which all the mines on Zanak will fill up with stuff. The population are rich, free from hard work and satisfied with their lot, but they’re not allowed to ask questions and seem to be menaced by the mysterious Mentiads. Great set up. This is all fab so far.

Part Two

“Such hospitality. I’m underwhelmed.”

We got a flavour of Douglas Adams’ dialogue genius last episode, but here’s where it really clicks into gear. Romana’s attitude to being arrested is great for a start, not only because it’s very witty but because it’s possibly the first time we see Romana essentially acting as a female version of the Doctor. We’ll be seeing a lot more of this sort of thing, but this is surprisingly early.

Mostly, though, the lines are just great in themselves: “Standing around all day looking tough must be very wearing on the nerves, hmm? Long hours, violence, no intellectual stimulation…” So good a line, in fact, that Douglas Adams used it twice. And it’s also a bit of a giveaway that he’s more or less writing Ford Prefect and Tom’s Doctor as the same character, and it works.

Of course, we get the big reveal that Zanak has been landing around other planets to mine them dry. As a result, Kimus gets the best line of the story: “Bandraginus Five, by every last breath in my body, you’ll be avenged!” I love this kind of arch silliness where even the character knows full well he’s a cliché and acts accordingly.

Oh, and that nurse hanging around in the background seems to have a fair bit of influence on the Captain…

Part Three

“You mean, they slammed him to the wall with good vibrations?”

“Affirmative.”

Of course, Pralix is now a Mentiad, and they’ve been goodies all along anyway. I love the way this story’s so jammed full of ideas we keep getting big revelations every five minutes. For all the greatness of the dialogue, the plot’s actually pretty great too. And things are happening- the nurse continues to be very mysterious, the relationship between the Captain and Mr Fibuli continues to be comedy gold (“Excellent, Mr Fibuli. Your death shall be delayed.”), and K9 gets to fight that Polyphase Aviton thingy.

The highlight of this episode is the only serious moment in pretty much the entire story though. The whole “Appreciate it?” speech reminds us that the Doctor, bohemian studenty type though he has been of late, still has the same principles and capacity for moral outrage.

All this, and the great ideas keep coming, even this late in the story- Queen Xanxia being suspended in her last few seconds of life is a fantastic concept.

Part Four

“All guards, alert! Someone is using a counter-jamming frequency projector. Find it and destroy it immediately."

"I don't suppose any of the guards know what a counter-jamming frequency projector looks like."

"Destroy everything!”

We’ve had a lot of cliffhanger resolutions over the years, and they fall into a lot of different types. But I think this is our first example of the “everything you thought you knew is wrong” cliffhanger resolution. Brilliant. Suddenly it’s clear that it was Xanxia, not the Captain, who was in charge all along. And she wants immortality. That’ll work out well then.

There’s a typically great scene where Xanxia offhandedly notices the door is open, the Doctor says “I’ll close it”, Xanxia distractedly replies “Thank you”, and the Doctor makes his escape. That’s good writing, both funny and serving the plot.

The ending may be a little weak- the CSO spanner doesn’t look very good, and it’s a bit of a stretch that the Doctor can mentally commune with the Mentiads from inside the TARDIS, especially when close to Earth. But still, a great final episode apart from these minor glitches.

Fantastic. Such a witty script, but all in the service of a great bubbling story bubbling with dozens of great sci-fi concepts. 5/5.

Doctor Who: The Ribos Operation

Part One

“What will happen to me if I refuse?”

“Nothing will happen to you. Nothing at all. Ever.”

The Doctor’s got a new K9! Hooray! And then the story starts with a bang as the TARDIS doors open in flight in a scene which is made brilliant by inspired use of lighting. The Doctor’s been summoned by… well, God, and he’s been charged with a quest to find the Holy Gra- er, Key to Time. I love the way that, instead of depicting something cosmic and expensive, they’ve just depicted the White Guardian as some colonial type bloke in a hat sitting in a deckchair, which works much better.

Instantly it’s clear that, after last season’s unevenness, much thought has been given to things behind the scenes. It’s not just the (fan cliché alert) “umbrella theme”; the new era has now firmly acquired a confident tone and style of its own- no more scares and bangs, but a cheaper, less violent (well, you can’t have everything…), wittier and more postmodern take on things. And the script which heralds the new era in its fully-fledged form for the first time is… Robert Holmes, a man heavily associated with the previous regime. It’s a funny old world.

Anyway, the Doctor has a new assistant, an imperious Time Lady called Romadvoratrelundar, and she’s fab, as is Mary Tamm. Her guilelessly arrogant ways are perfect for winding the Doctor up, and we can tell straightaway that she’s going to be fun. Oh, and rather sexy too.

Apart from introducing Romana, this scene cements something new about the series’ style- wonderfully witty dialogue which is allowed freer rein than before, being let loose more often on that fourth wall, and something different about Tom’s performance. We haven’t really seen his sombre side at all since Horror of Fang Rock, and his more whimsical nature has been staging a gradual takeover for some time, but following the events of The Invasion of Time there seems to be a final shift. The Doctor is now more consistently witty, less prone to introspection, but still with a strong moral centre. But mostly he’s much more fun. I like this new Tom. And the great thing is, what with the events of the last story you could almost at a push call it character development.

Amusingly, we’re told that the Doctor only scraped 51% at the academy on his second attempt. And Gallifrey has a new president, who must be someone we saw in The Invasion of Time as we hear the Doctor say “I should have thrown him to the Sontarans when I had the chance!” Who is it then? It’s not Borusa, for constitutional; reasons. Bet it’s Kelner!

Anyway, Ribos. It’s a well-realised, wintry planet with a mediaeval level of technology which also has the fortunate side effect of suggesting a cultural hinterland in the way that futuristic metal corridors just don’t. There’s a lot of casually excellent design work here. The necessary exposition is handled admirably by means of the highly entertaining, ahem, “Holmesian double act” of Garron (the superb Iain Cuthbertson) and Unstoffe and their intended scam on nasty old offworld nobleman the Graff Vynda K. This planet has two seasons, Suntime and the present season Icetime, both of which last 32 years. Brilliantly, it’s actually part of the interstellar Greater Cyrrhenian Empire, but given that it’s only a “level two” civilisation, the offworlders who actually rule the planet have to claim they’re from “the north” and not display any advanced technology for fear of breaking conservation laws!

I’m loving this already. Garron is a great Holmesian character, a futuristic Horatio Bottomley with great lines, and the set-up is fab. I shall not speak of the Shrivenzale.

Part Two

“You hang a bit of that around your neck and you won’t never suffer from the scringes, no matter how cold it be.”

I love the way our conmen speak in cod-Mummerset accents when they’re pretending to be locals, and the Doctor actually pointed this out at the end of last episode! I love Unstoffe’s speech, but Garron’s the real star of the two of them. It’s fantastic how Holmes, incredibly, gets him to persuade the captain of the guard to deposit a load of money with the crown jewels, and makes it seem plausible. And indeed the fact that, as the title suggests, this is the first time we get a Doctor Who story that is essentially a heist movie. After years of Hinchcliffe era horror movies, Doctor Who is now plundering different sources!

The relationship between the Doctor and Romana continues to be brilliant, too: “An academy graduate doesn’t need things explaining, surely?”

Part Three

“When you’ve faced death as often as I have, this is much more fun.”

I think the scene where the Graff slaps the Doctor, and the Doctor slaps him back, is definitely in the running for my favourite Tom moment ever. The Doctor and Romana are captured and imprisoned, but it’s an interesting example of what a great writer Holmes is that while in the hands of a little writer this perennial Who cliché could be tiresome, here it’s just a pretext for a fun little chat between the Doctor and Garron, a bit of character stuff for Romana and some exposition. And once all this is achieved K9 just comes and rescues everyone, leaving the situation no time at all to become tiresome. Masterful.

The scene with Binro the heretic is of course wonderful, and almost distracts from the fact that Unstoffe seems to have acquired an RP accent what with all the stress of being hunted by the Graff. Interestingly, the Seeker seems to have genuine powers, so precognition works, which is a bit dodgy.

Part Four

“Well, I admit I had a great struggle with me conscience. Fortunately I won.”

There are so many great things about this story. I love the way the Seeker’s frenzied and tuneless shriek is supposed to be hugely annoying!

We get a well-crafted and entertaining conclusion. Binro dies tragically, the Graff disintegrates realistically in a surprisingly well done piece of characterisation, and our heroes have the first segment of the Key to Time. Only five to go.

Flawless. 5/5 and a good one too, only just missing out on a top ten spot. Great script, great new tone, great new companion, Iain Cuthbertson and, most relievingly, no obvious problems with the production. Well, Shrivenzale aside.. It feels as though the problems of last season are behind us already. Can things stay at this level?

Doctor Who: The Invasion of Time

Part One

“I claim the presidency of the council of Time Lords.”

So, a new writer, the mysterious David Agnew. Wonder if he’ll turn out to be any good? Rumour has it that he had something of a split personality…

Once again this season we start with the now-familiar sight of spaceships floating in, er, space. It’s finally occurred to me that Star Wars ( That’s the full title of the film, incidentally. Let’s have none of this A New Hope rubbish.) was released in the UK in December 1977, shortly before this was broadcast if probably not before it was made. An influence to keep track of in future, even if this scene probably isn’t influenced by Imperial Star Destroyers.

Anyway, it’s a fascinating episode which departs entirely from the programme’s standard format and does fascinating things with the Doctor’s character. We first see him, alone, having left Leela locked in the TARDIS with K9, apparently making a deal with some baddies and their pointy-backed chairs to give them complete control over the Time Lords! Has he turned bad? This is a brilliant concept, and superbly done. What they’re trying to do requires great care- the viewer needs to at least partly believe that the Doctor has gone bad, but the character mustn’t be undermined. As we’ll see, The Invasion of Time achieves this balance superbly.

Oh, and we see Leela having a “bath” in a big swimming pool in the TARDIS. There are no roundels, there are loads of lilos and stuff, and the set doesn’t look at all as though it could convincingly be part of the TARDIS. See Part Six for more on this theme…

After this preamble the TARDIS lands on Gallifrey, which sadly looks a lot cheaper than it once did, the UK economy having jumped off the edge of a cliff since The Deadly Assassin was made. Even the old Panopticon doesn’t look the same with such bright lighting- in fact, I admit I didn’t even recognise it until one of the DVD extras pointed it out. But, of course, the prologue means this TARDIS landing has a very different context than usual- the Doctor’s very status as a hero is on probation. What’s he up to? As soon as he leaves the TARDIS and is accosted by chancellery guards, he rudely dismisses Leela. What’s going on?

I have something of a problem with Andred simply allowing the Doctor, who is as far as he’s concerned an unauthorised visitor and very possibly extremely dangerous, to just walk into Chancellor Borusa’s office. Still, it’s a solitary lapse, and what happens next is very cool indeed as the Doctor claims the presidency, for which of course he was the sole surviving candidate at the recent election. Although this indicates not much time has passed, so how come (aside from the actor not being available!) Borusa has regenerated? He didn’t seem that old or frail last time.

We have a new Castellan, but Kelner is no Spandrell. Right from the off it’s clear he’s going top be quite the oily git, played with magnificent Uriah Heap-osity by Milton Johns. Oh, and another change here is that Leela is apparently allowed on the planet but Sarah wasn’t. How come? I suppose it could be argued that the Doctor is president after all, but some mention would have been nice.

More stuff from The Deadly Assassin appears- the Sash of Rassilon, the Rod of Rassilon, Gold Usher, the Matrix. Oddly, we get a fairly long techy conversation between two Time Lords which doesn’t seem to relate to anything!

Part Two

“This is rather more than a student prank, isn’t it?”

The Doctor seemingly betrays Leela again, trying to ban her from the Citadel, and continues to behave very oddly. And it’s fun to see the contrasting reactions of Kelner- rushing to ingratiate himself with this new potential source of patronage- and Borusa, whose concerns about the Doctor’s behaviour are balanced by a suspicion that all is not what it seems. John Arnatt is excellent here, restricting himself to subtle facial impressions and a calm tone of voice, but portraying Borusa’s concerns most effectively.

I’m enjoying this. So much, in fact, that I even enjoyed Tom’s wrecking ball to the fourth wall with his “Even the Sonic Screwdriver won’t get me out of this one!” It’s in one way reassuring and in another way disappointing that the Doctor’s conversation with K9 in the TARDIS pretty much gives away that his erratic behaviour and apparent treachery is just an act and he has his reasons.

Interestingly, Rodan (played by the rather lovely Hilary Ryan) is the first Time Lady we’ve ever met. Are there hardly any females for some bizarre sci-fi reason, or do Time Lords insist that a woman’s place is directing traffic? Either way, Rodan and Leela are getting on well, which is fortunate as they’re soon to be thrust into crisis- the Doctor has let down the transduction barriers, apparently selling out his own people to some nasty bits of tin foil, and lets out a villainous laugh too…

Part Three

“The Castellan will have me shot.”

“Well, that’s all right. I’ll have him shot.”

For once, it’s the Doctor who gets to say that “resistance is useless”! And these baddies, the Vardans, apparently want the great Key, which the Doctor pledged to seek in his presidential oath.

Meanwhile, Leela and Rodan are escaping the new regime to go out into the wilderness. Leela’s great here, decisive and intelligent. She may say that “Discussion is for the wise or the helpless and I am neither”, but the only thing she isn’t is helpless.

In a pivotal scene, the Doctor finally reveals to Borusa what he’s really up to in his lead lined room where the Vardans can’t read his thoughts. Naturally, we aren’t privy to what’s said as that would spoil all the fun.

Meanwhile, Kelner shows himself to be a right little Quisling, taking advantage of the new regime’s apparent purge to “settle old scores.” Our first exiles, albeit willing, are Leela and Rodan, and Rodan’s inability to deal with life “outside” speaks volumes about Gallifreyan society, as well as the fact that they see people living only just outside the Citadel as “barbarians”. Leela, on the other hand, quickly gains the respect of the Outlers. It’s soon clear that exiling his enemies is not the end of Kelner’s ambitions, though: an underling is dispatched to guard the new Doctor “for the time being” because “If anything does happen, I will have to take over as president , and I have no wish to expose myself to the dangers of that position.” Such a slimy little toad…

Part Four

“But you have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe.”

“Well, I do talk to myself sometimes, yes.”

The Vardans now turn out to suspect the Doctor- this is really quite an engagingly complex story, with all sorts of competing agendas ready to backstab each other. At last it seems the Graham Williams era has found its feet, using witty dialogue and careful plotting to carve out a way of producing good telly completely different to the previous regime.

Admittedly the production is very Spartan- in fact, not really acceptable at all, and things are going to get worse- but the scripts and performances more than compensate. Gallifey is often said to be an intrinsically dull place these days- not here it isn’t, it’s a labyrinth of plots, counter plots and intrigue. Brilliant. And even the production’s shortcomings are partly patched up by self-referential dialogue- the Vardans may look crap, but that’s ok as the dialogue points that out for us!

The episode’s ending is simply excellent- all the threads are drawn together, all the characters are brought to the Panopticon and the full details of the Doctor’s plan are reveals as he defeats the baddies and saves the planet.

And then the bloody Sontarans turn up. Excellent!

Part Five

“You are the first President since Rassilon to hold the Great Key.”

Re the quote- I thought we were told in The Deadly Assassin that Rassilon was never president? Anyway…

I love the way Kelner, rather than face the inevitable punishment for his treason, quickly sides with the Sontarans, oleaginous little sod that he is. And these Sontarans are a lot sillier than the ones we’ve seen before. And of course, there’s more than one of them for a change. Derek Deadman’s performance is- interesting.

There’s a fascinating game of cat and mouse as the Doctor gets Borusa to admit he holds the Great Key. I like Borusa- loyal to the old ways but with an open mind, and of course absolutely full of integrity. Yes, he’ll definitely never become a baddie. And as he knows where the Great Key is, presumably he can never become president. Come to think of it, I remember an article in issue #100 of Doctor Who Magazine back in the mid eighties, by Gary Russell, I think, on Time Lord history which touched on that very subject. I’ll have to dig it out. Rather tongue-in-cheek, I recall…

Oh, and there’s a great moment where the Doctor shows extraordinary trust in Leela in trusting her with the Great Key.

Part Six

“This machine is a load of obsolete rubbish.”

It’s such a shame that the setting of this episode is so execrable, as the script and performances continue to be first-rate. But using this location as the TARDIS interior simply won’t do. There are bricks everywhere, it’s all on film, and it takes you straight out of the drama. Little wonder all these rooms in the TARDIS were never spoken of again. Although I must admit I love the scene with Borusa drinking from a glass with a curly straw while reading about the sinking of the titanic from a contemporary edition of The Daily Mirror. Only on Doctor Who…

There’s lots of cool stuff here, however poorly realised it may be- the Venus fly trap thingy in the TARDIS “bathroom” and the TARDIS’ “ancillary power station” being disguised as an art gallery, which only makes sense if you include a deleted scene but never mind.

There’s a nice ending- the great Key is used to make the “Demat Gun” which is highly appropriate because one thing this marathon has taught me is that the Doctor uses guns all the time! Meanwhile, Stor is claiming that “This grenade will give me a lot of pleasure!” What a bizarre fetish…

Of course, inevitably, the Doctor forgets about the Great Key, all part of Rassilon’s plan. And a flawless plan it is too- I’m sure the fact that Borusa knows all about the Demat Gun will have no adverse consequences whatsoever.

Unfortunately the ending is marred by a completely rubbish companion departure. Leela deserved much better than that. Amusingly, Louise Jameson and the bloke who plays Andred say in a DVD extra that they tried to suggest they fancied each other by body language- not that I noticed they didn’t!

Overall, utterly magnificent- great plot, great dialogue, great performances. Unfortunately, and however understandable it may have been in those difficult budgetary times, the production was often far below acceptable, so much so that I really have to knock a point off. 4/5.

As for the season as a whole- well, it had its high points- Image of the Fendahl, The Sun Makers, The Invasion of Time- and its pretty good point- Horror of Fang Rock. But ultimately the two utter stinkers from the Bristol Boys and the production failings in some otherwise brilliant stories mean this season scores 3.17/5, putting it at the bottom of the pile. Still there are signs of a promising new direction, and the faults can be mainly laid at the door of budgetary disasters and the Bristol Boys. The future should be better- we’ll see…