Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy: Smiley Tracks the Mole

"Poor loves. Trained to empire. Trained to rule the waves."

The pace is certainly as slow as ever and, in fact, the structure of this series is completely unlike what we’d normally expect even back in ‘79. (Incidentally the offices of the Circus, with all the brown, the grey and the paper files, are a splendid artefact of Seventiesness). After last episode being pretty much an extended flashback, here we get Peter trying to burgle the Circus and ascertaining that the file on Irina has been deliberately ripped out, while George visits Connie and we get an extended flashback showing us all the suspects. That’s it.

Connie, though... she’s a fascinating and multilayered character, and not only by virtue of being a rare female presence in the Circus and, indeed, the episode’s only female speaking part. Sacked as Head of Research for, it seems, getting too close to fingering Polyakov as Karla’s local underling, she’s very bitter behind the sunny surface, and now struggling to find meaning in her life. Beryl Reid is superb but so is Alec Guinness; he says little, but somehow avoids coming across as cold.

We learn, mainly through flashbacks, that Control, and by extension George, always found the “Witchcraft” material a little too convenient, and Alleline’s arrogant pride a little annoying- and Alleline, indeed, comes across like a proper twonk. Then we have the cynical Roy, the enigmatic Bill, the ambitious Toby, suspects all. And it’s all a splendid opportunity to see a bunch of character actors at work.

It’s gripping. And, still, pretty much nothing has happened.

Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)

"What kind of fiend are you?"

"The kind that wins, my friend."

What a disappointing sequel, especially as The Abominable Dr. Phibes was so damned entertaining. How can what is pretty much the same bunch of people come up with such a desperately disappointing follow-up?

Part of the problem is that the set-up is not so much fun- instead of a series of amusingly outre murders we get a plan to use Egyptian mumbo-jumbo to rejuvenate the good doctor and his wife- yes, undiscovered ancient secrets in an early '70s film. Erik von Daniken, anyone? There's a trope for you right there.

On top of this the celebrity cameos are dull. Yes, the splendid Beryl Reid gets to chew the scenery for her brief scene, but Peter Cushing (prominently billed) gets a dull and functional cameo role. Still, at least we get to see a young John Thaw being horrifically killed.

The relationship between Peter Jeffrey's  Inspector Trout and his apoplectic boss, so funny in the previous film, is taken too far here- why should a police superintendent follow one of his inspectors on a jaunt to Egypt?

I suppose there area couple of entertainingly grossly deaths, the best of which involves scorpions, but this really is a film that can safely be avoided.

The Assassination Bureau (1969)

"Human life is so expendable. So easily replaced, and pleasurable."

This film gets a rough ride from critics, I feel, many of whom just don't get the understated black humour that gives the film its charm. I won't deny that the tone is at times uneven and the premise, great on paper, begins to drag a bit with the monotony of Oliver Reed's Ivan Dragomilovitch having to assassinate his colleagues one by one. But a delightfully urbane and witty Reed, a sexy, unflappable and Emma Peel-sequel Diana Rigg (I love her wardrobe!) and the hugely witty and quotable dialogue make this film a pleasure to watch in spite of its flaws. Hopefully a DVD release in Europe is not too far away; I had to rely on Netflix.

The casting of Telly Savalas to play Lord Bostwick with a blatantly North American accent is often disparaged by critics who miss the fact that the character is clearly based on Lord Beaverbrook. And there are plenty of enjoyable cameos from the likes of Beryl Reid, Roger Delgado, Warren Mitchell and George Coulouris.I thought Vernon Dobtcheff was bogey amusing as a stereotypically lugubrious Russian.

This is a gloriously cynical film, appropriate for one set in an age when war loomed, life was cheaper and it was important, if you had the means, to enjoy life as much as you could while maintaining a raised eyebrow at all times.

Doctor Who: Earthshock

Part One

“Too many people have died for you to play the fool.”

We open with some unusually hardboiled potholers wearing skiing goggles round their necks, soon revealed to be military types investigating the disappearance of some other, presumably less hardboiled, potholer types. It’s all very hardboiled. Did I mention this story starts off very hardboiled? Because we’ll be seeing an awful lot of hardboiledness.

The now obligatory early TARDIS scene gets the now obligatory token reference to the previous story out of the way, and gets on with a bit of conflict between Adric and the Doctor, whose relationship has been interestingly dysfunctional since the Doctor’s regeneration. It’s as if Adric now no longer sees the much younger-looking Doctor as a father figure but as a rival for the position of alpha male. This may seem absurd if you’re not Adric, of course, as he’s just an awkward teenager with increasing tendencies towards acting like an arse, but it might explain his behaviour. It’s either that or a lax grip on the regulars’ characterisation by the script editor.

Oh, and all this happens in Adric’s room. Are we going to see the full set by the end of the season?

Adric wants to go back to E-Space and, for some reason, Terradon, although it was explained in Full Circle that it’s got nothing to do with him. Suddenly the Doctor’s casual dismissal of Romana’s ethical queries about taking Adric away from his own universe in Warrior’s Gate is coming home to roost. Perhaps that’s why he throws such a strop, leaving Tegan and Nyssa to play the role of grown-ups this week.

Anyway, the TARDIS lands, it’s 2526, they’re underground and they see some dinosaur fossils. Lovely. Foreshadowing, anyone? We get nasty black robots, killing, and general hardboiledness. It’s all rather effectively done, with the device of having Walters above ground with the scanner working well to increase the tension. It’s all very Alien and very generic early 80s action movie, but this is a very well constructed opener. It’s all a bit hardboiled, though.

We end, in what is possibly the most spoiled cliffhanger of all time, with some Cybermen. They’re back!

Part Two

“You know, I find this situation so bizarre. There’s no purpose for it.”

I think this is where we get our first “Brave heart, Tegan”. But mostly, it’s where we get our first glimpse of the Cybermen as redesigned for the 80s, with David Banks, “excellent”, fist shaking and non-monotonous voices. They’re somehow less symbolic of the body horror intrinsic to the Cybermen then the 60s models were, in spite of the nice touch of the visible organic chins behind the glass jaws, but to balance this they’re chunkier and more physically threatening. The visible chins are simultaneously a problem though, because as soon as the Cybermens’ already worrying increased vulnerability to gold becomes apparent, the glass jaws lend themselves rather too easily to crap and obvious metaphors like what I’m using now.

Oh, and we get our first “I know that object.” Brilliant!”

It’s been a while since we had a parade of clips from earlier stories so the fanwank here is excellent, although the Cybermen seem to have junked their copy of Tomb of the Cybermen. There’s a problem here though- Revenge of the Cybermen was quite unequivocally set on a beacon built in the “late 29^th, early 30^th” century, and this is equivocally 2526. Now, lack of obsessive detail to continuity among the production team would of course be unthinkable, so we must seek an alternative explanation. Have these Cybermen travelled from the future?

The story ends with some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the Doctor and Adric have made up (er, yay!) and the bad news is the appearance of the horribly miscast Beryl Reid. No disrespect to her, but this is the first time the alleged JN-T syndrome of horribly miscast guest “stars” seems to rear its head. Till, I’ll keep an open mind as the era continues.

Part Three

“I’m just a mouth on legs!”

The Cyberleader declares that the Doctor “must suffer for our past defeats”. Good to know they’re as emotionless as ever. And the bit with the Cybermen sealed inside plastic bags actually shocked me almost as much as it amused me with its blatant disregard for good health and safety procedure. Did no one think of the kids watching? Could that even be screened today?

Amusingly, the freighter’s crew are all a bunch of cynical jobsworths, which in no way dissuades me from my view that Eric Saward may possibly have seen Alien at some point. Oh, and the fact that Ringway turns out to be a traitor leads me to believe he may well have seen some previous Cybermen stories. There’s a lot that’s traditional about this story now that I stop to think of it, with the Cybermens’ appearances being rationed until they appear in force halfway through the story. And we also have a first wave, admittedly just of black robots, who are defeated early on only for a much bigger wave to turn up later on. It’d all be very '60s, if not for the fact that it’s very '80s.

Part Four

“Now I’ll never know if I was right.”

The Cybermens’ dastardly scene is revealed; they plan to put a bomb on the freighter and ram it into Earth, thus disrupting a galactic conference at which their enemies are plotting against them. The fiends! The episode’s very exciting, with lots of tension right up to the end, although we get to pause slightly for the Doctor’s rather good speech on emotions. This almost makes up for the fact that most of the human characters have been referring to the Cybermen as robots, which shouldn’t have happened; the Cybermen haven’t been seen for ages, so the script should be making it very clear to the casual viewer that this is exactly what they’re not.

Oh, and the boy Adric snuffs it. The script has quite a lot of fun with the old dramatic irony beforehand, though; Adric shakes the Doctor’s hand as he leaves and says goodbye, while assuring Tegan that he’ll see her soon. He’s starting to remind me of the character Dead Meat from that excellent film Hot Shots.

The freighter goes back in time 65 million years to the time of the K/T boundary, where it’s neatly revealed that the freighter crashing into Earth will become part of the existing historical pattern, in scenes a little too similar to Saward’s own The Visitation. And then it all starts happening thick and fast. There are Cybermen in the TARDIS. The Doctor shoots one repeatedly with a gun- he’s always doing that sort of thing. And Adric’s use of the gold in his badge to kill a Cyberman is simultaneously great for adding to the heroism of his final sacrifice and awful for the credibility of the Cybermen. But that’s for the future.

Adric’s death manages to actually be quite affecting and not at all bathetic, which I wasn’t expecting. And the silent credits are a nice touch.

Part Five (DVD only)

Indisputably the finest episode of Doctor Who, nay, television drama, ever to exist. Utterly sublime in its superiority. But sadly I’m not going to count it towards the story’s overall score as such things are Just Simply Not Done. It’s definitely canon, mind. So there.

This is very fast-paced, very well-structured, and with a sense for the natural beats of the storytelling that so elude Christopher H. Bidmead and that RTD does so well- it’s generally very well-written. But at the same time, it’s also very, very hard-boiled- did I mention that? Because the guest characters are all required to act in this hard-boiled manner, there’s no real depth to them. It’s all dated since the 80s in the same way the work of Frank Miller has- it’s still enjoyable, but no longer seems as big or clever as it did, and it often makes me laugh at inappropriate moments because of its unintentional boys’ own silliness. Still, a good ‘un. 4/5.